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Language: en
young men are not getting laid and we
saw the viral, you know, 2018 stat of
like it jumped up and we just didn't
have any stats past CO and we're like,
do you think it got better in CO or
worse during CO and we finally finally
got worse, right? Way worse.
>> Yeah. No way that got better.
>> The update worse.
>> Look at that.
>> So, young male virginity guys share of
young men under the age of 30 report
zero female sex partners since they
turned 18. I mean, that is like proper
exponential growth.
>> The housing market crashed and then it
got real bad since then. That was it.
>> That was it.
>> Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to figure out
like, do you feel like you have a thesis
on that point and like what the hell
happened?
>> 100%. This is very simple. It's a
confluence of events getting mocked is
huge. Being afraid of getting me too is
huge. Effect of, we'll call it social
media, but dating app, social media, all
of that where hypergamy kicks in. Right
now we are in a period where women
tolerate
a guy who's sleeping with multiple
women. And so now a small number of guys
thanks to the dating apps and thanks to
a shift in culture are able to
monopolize a huge amount of uh sexual
access to females. And then men have
numbing things as well. So they've got
pornography and they've got video games.
And so they've got things that like me
upate.
>> Hey, she be saying all the things.
>> Yeah, only fans launched in 2016.
>> Only Fans. That one is still such a trip
to me. You can get your porn for free.
>> But again, I mean, you understand though
why
>> I know I can tell you what it is, but to
your point because I'm fed like a steady
diet of deep emotional connection,
intimate conversations, like really. And
I mean, look, the one gift I wish I
could give people is to share a life
with somebody who really puts you first
it there's just nothing better from my
perspective because I have that. It just
seems so wild. It's the one thing that I
never and I try to put myself back in
the days before I unlock the key to
being good with women in my sexual
market value. I want to be always very
clear about that. Running it like a
business would just be so apparent to
me. And in fact, I've never been
bamboozled by strip clubs. So, I would
not have been bamboozled by this. I know
that the women are on the clock. I know
that their job is to extract as much
money from me as they can. And so, I am
so aware of the game that's being played
that it would stop me from ever being
like, "Oh, this is a cool relationship."
>> So, do you feel like guys nowadays have
just become more gullible or the hole
has been so deep?
>> I worry that the hole is so deep that
they're okay with it
>> that just like a video game can be a
proxy enough to something that you're
like, "Oh, this is dope." I mean, even
talking to an AI actually made me feel
like I have a writing partner. I can't
believe this trick works on me. So, it's
really possible that they've just gotten
so slick at the communication that you
really you're like, "This isn't quite
real, but I feel the thing I want to
feel." The one that freaks me out more
than anything is it really does feel
like we saw that uh DSA, Democratic
Socialist of America, where they were
talking about uh the only difference
between prostitution and marriage is the
price and the length of the contract.
And so I'm like, if I'm walking up to
somebody who might
>> if if I'm walking up to somebody who
might hold that belief, I'm like and
might film me and be like, "Yo, this
guy's a creep." Like when you think
about like Aziz onsari and like what he
went through for just being awkward,
it's like yo that is so crazy. So I get
why people would back off.
>> I know people have talked about
overpopulation but now it's all about
you know we're losing the amount of kids
replacement level but I'm seeing so much
sentiment of like who cares this is good
like great
>> like they're they don't miss it.
>> Yeah. They're like this is amazing like
this this is great for our our issues.
This is less
>> down the patriarchy. I will give the
pitch that people always give me about
having kids because you haven't done it.
You don't know what you're missing. That
is true about having children. I am well
aware of that. And so I constantly think
about, okay, what's the thing that I'm
doing that becomes the tradeoff that's
going to make that worth it. So, first
of all, Lisa and I try to, we had a
guest on the show that we've gotten to
know quite well. Their kids were in
town. We're like, "Oh my god, bring them
over to the house. Like, let them swim."
Lisa put out art supplies cuz one of
them likes to draw. One of them happens
to be like super into anime and manga.
So I'm like showing them all the
collection and so you get enough of that
energy. My sister has her best friend
has kids and so we'll game with them and
so I try to have interactions with kids
in my life. We have these neighborhood
kids that play in our bushes. They've
never once uh talked to us or anything,
but Lisa and I are like, if that is the
small contribution that we can make to
kids having a good childhood is to let
them trample our bushes, like not a
problem. Like we want to see people
having fun. So we try to at least get
like those little bits. So when it comes
to relationships, the thing that I would
say for people is when you share a life
with somebody, one, they shape you,
which is tremendous. to the human mind
desires connection so aggressively that
um this was another thing we were
talking to Andrew Bamonte about I think
it was actually his wife Jihei who said
oh one of the ways that you target
somebody is you know that they need
connection and so you can get people to
confess the most outrageous [ __ ] just
because you're their friend you're there
and part of American CIA statecraft
trade craft excuse me is to build real
friendships I'm like real friendships
with dirt bags like yeah like you really
want people to build real authentic
friendships and I was like damn that
level of connection is important.
>> I'm getting some place. Yeah, I'm
getting some. Yeah,
>> a good point that other people are
saying that we need to talk about which
is you can't talk about this trend
without talking about the Andrew Tates
and Fresh and Fitz of the world and
their effect on this.
>> I would say Andrew Tate reminds me of
Donald Trump in that he is a symptom
long before he is a cause. What happens
is you get guys that are being made fun
of, told they're not enough. They're
finding it impossible to climb the
social ladder and that is very
demoralizing. It's going to make you
feel some kind of way. And then someone
like a Tate will rise up in the same way
that Mom Dami rises up when people feel
disenfranchised from housing. You get a
guy that's like, "I got you, bro." When
you feel like you're not being
recognized as a man, you're not being
celebrated from masculinity. You're not
being pushed to be better. And because
once as a guy you're pushed to get
stronger, to get tougher, like a
flywheel that exists entirely in your
own mind takes over and it feels
incredible. And so, um, I've said many
times, one of the greatest gifts that a
man can give himself is to get
physically strong. Like, when you go
through the transformation of going into
the gym, lifting heavy weights, uh, at
my peak, I could deadlift almost 400 lb.
And look, by standards, it's not a lot,
but that felt so good to go from like I
can only deadlift, let's say, 185 pounds
to like working my way up up up up.
You're like, okay, this makes me feel
some kind of way. I have a feeling
people that do Brazilian jiu-jitsu feel
the same way. Like, I'm in control. I
can fight. I can defend myself. And so,
there are things that take over in the
brain. So, anyway, you're feeling
disenfranchised as a man. Nobody's
pushing you to get better. You're not
getting any uh attention back from
females. And then this former nerdy guy
turned kickboxer who makes a lot of
money, gets a lot of girls, he's in
great shape, he can fight, comes on the
scene and is like, "Fuck everybody who
tells you you're not the man. You're the
man. [ __ ] all these hoes." You're going
to be like, "Yeah, [ __ ] all these hoes."
Like, they make me feel bad. This guy
makes me feel good. And as uh for people
that know how I got started on YouTube,
it was all mindset. So, it was doing the
like, listen, you can really do
something with your life. And we used to
do these things called impact quotes.
And I would take two or three quotes and
I would do like an improv almost like
spoken word poetry. Arandizes it a
little bit too much.
>> I have any follow-up questions. But
>> they were very performative. And so I
was trying to like hype people up and
take them on this journey and make them
feel that they could do anything. And so
people would put them on a loop. They
would string a bunch together and they
would just listen to me for like an hour
in the gym while they worked out. You
know, I mean, just you can do anything
you set your mind to. You got to do
this. You have to be aware of that. uh
you really can manipulate somebody's
neurochemistry by doing that kind of
performance. I think Tate is best
understood as a WWE character who has
risen to popularity specifically because
people already feel like that. He puts
words to it and tells them I can pull
you out of this.
>> That to me feels like a cause and effect
like you're if men feel that way that
kind of character will rise.
>> Yeah. And I think again if we look at
the chart it's not like his popularity
popularity grew right at that pivot
point. It was really after this really
kicked off right at the height
>> this already started happening
>> correct and so he was the answer to it
for some people when I would hear the
push back first you got to understand
why again what's the the actual cause
behind his uh success but also is there
anyone else let's say on the other side
>> where's the positive divine masculine
figure that's really being like pushed
by culture like who is that like give us
that person yeah where are they like
ultimately I think that's what culture
is looking for there was a time early on
where Jordan Peterson was kind of seen
internet's dad kind of thing and then he
went down for a little bit and then like
people tried to cancel him all this type
of stuff and then I feel like more
radical people have filled in those
gaps.
>> Honestly, the closest person is probably
Rogan. He is very smart, very wealthy,
>> uh funny, very successful at his job,
yolked. He
>> But do you understand the culture has
turned on him and saying no, he's the
toxic masculine again. So
>> like he's still massive, massive,
massive, massive. there for sure people
on the left have turned on him because
masculinity is viewed negative. It's
like what is absolutely absurd.
>> But you're saying what does the left
consider to be the positive? Because
there are plenty of positive versions of
masculinity being put out by people that
lean right
>> and so people on the right have plenty
of people that they can look up to. But
if you reject masculinity out of hand,
if you're an aat intellectual, it's like
okay then. But even that like look up to
somebody like Jordan Peterson like if
that's your bag. But Okay,
>> I don't think that that is something
that has a flywheel internally. And I
don't think the left has a positive
masculine vision, but that the whole
left and right divide thing feels like a
different problem to me.
>> We can't talk about this problem in
isolation, but there are different
layers that stack up again. So, yes,
they're not having sex. The young male
grads are just as jobless as the people
who have degrees. So, they're not
>> really fast cuz I I you're going
somewhere very important, but when we
first uh pitch talking about this, the
thing that I actually want to talk about
is sex. I don't think people fully
understand what sex is for a man. And so
there is in a relationship for sure I
will tell you the quote that has given
me the highest predictive validity is
that a woman needs to feel loved to have
sex and a man needs to have sex to feel
loved. So there is a feedback loop. I
can feel it in myself where sex is
really a thing. It's a a totally unique
form of expression, a totally unique
form of connection. And if anybody has
kids in the car, now's the time to take
them out because I I I I really mean
this seriously, and I'm going to talk
about this as um sort of plainly as I
can, but I'm going to say things that
are very strange. You and I were talking
about this off camera. I really really
mean this. We were talking about the
dildos being thrown on the court of the
WNBA, and I was like, I really hate
this. I have a really strong reaction to
this. It is a a mockery and a threat of
a gift that women give. And the thought
of being sexually receptive is so crazy
to me. I can't believe that women are
willing to do that. I cannot believe
that they are willing to put their body
in an insanely vulnerable position to
allow me to place a part of myself
inside of them. It is an act of such
generosity of kindness. I don't know. It
It's
>> for me when a woman has sex with you,
she is saying at the deepest level, you
are worthy.
>> Pick a mic up just so you can drop it
like that. Yes, that's very profound and
to feel that and to have somebody uh
look at you in the eye in a positive way
is amazing. Plus, I mean, obviously it
can get sex is a very complicated thing.
And we're describing something that's
far more tender and it is certainly not
always that, but like that act is a
thing. And I remember as a kid being
like, "Oh my god, one day I'm actually
going to have sex." And it was like I
could not believe it. And I remember
that emotion so well. And I was like,
"This is gonna be awesome."
>> And I was as excited about actually one
day getting to have sex as I was about
one day being rich.
>> Those were like the two big like I can't
believe my future contains I'm going to
be rich and I'm going to have sex.
>> I really was over the moon about it.
That propelled me forward, becoming
worthy, becoming the kind of man that a
woman would be willing to do that for.
And it's like I try not to take that for
granted. I try to make sure that I'm
earning that that level of gift,
connection, whatever with my wife. And I
feel like that's getting lost in all of
this. And when you get antagonistic
towards women, you make it so much less
likely that you will ever get her to
cross that because now it's like we're
what at war? And you somehow expect her
to make herself vulnerable to you in
that way. Like it's just wild.
>> What I see. Okay. So, on the women's
side, when I see that chart, you know,
that looks insane. The woman, what the
market is telling me is the women are
like, there are no men worthy. And yeah,
they're all in their mother's basement.
They're all they don't have jobs. They
don't have all these things. And I'm
sure Drew will have all the stats to
back that up.
>> Can I give you a real hot take?
>> Mhm.
>> Oh, God.
>> I really believe this, so I'm going to
say it. I think the way that evolution
made us, women are meant to help men
become men.
>> They are the natural selection.
>> They Well, they're the sexual
gatekeepers for sure, and that creates
the natural selection. But I'm talking
about something slightly different. By
pathizing men's desire to get laid, by
pathizing that men do a lot of things
simply to get laid, by saying that
that's a bad thing, we have broken this
sort of like timehonored thing of like,
okay, ladies, you got to make him jump
through hoops to prove that he can
become a stable, welladjusted man in
order to get access to sex. And men will
do all this crazy [ __ ] get their life
together, get a job, get get steady
work, make money so that they can get
laid. And because we said, "Oh, that's
disgusting. That's horrible. These men
are terrible." We broke. Women are now
like, "Yeah, fuck." Like, "What is
that?" What I got very fortunate that I
>> found a woman who was raised to be the
most traditional woman you could
possibly imagine. And so I got a good
decade or more with Lisa where she
interfaced with the world through me and
she pushed me to be a better version
because she wasn't interfacing with the
world directly. It was like we're only
going to get paid what my husband gets
paid. And so now I'm going to push him
to do better to get more skills. Hey,
take that move, take that risk. Yeah, go
there. Do that. Like she was always
behind me pushing me to be more, to be
better. And I wanted to earn her respect
and I wanted to keep having sex with
her. So, it was like there was a lot of
things that I would do just to impress
my wife. I wanted to be a better writer
to impress my wife. I wanted to do
better in business to impress my wife.
I've wrote written so many cards because
they're true to my wife saying
everything I do I do to impress you. We
made that toxic. And so now through all
the things that we've talked about plus
this idea, you've got men, there's
nobody pushing them to be a better
version. They're going to only fans and
it's like, well, if you can pay the
money or whatever, you can jerk off
great. But like you can imagine, they're
not trying to elevate you. They're not
trying to make you a better version.
They aren't connected to you in a way
where it's like, well, we we go we
succeed or fail together and so now
we're going to work as a unit.
>> Who holds responsibility in that
relationship?
>> Men have got to bear responsibility for
their own lives. This is your whole
shtick is you need to be the one with
the massive amount of personal
responsibility and women need to
understand, hey, this is part of the
dynamic between men and women. And when
that breaks, if you're wondering why
there's no good men, well,