Kind: captions
Language: en
if your goal is to climb the ladder of
success you have to avoid the common
traps that devour most people laziness
drugs and alcohol porn nihilism and
things like Doom scrolling that take
your time but give nothing in return
you're not going to stumble upon the
path to success you're going to have to
hack your way through a jungle of
potentially life- destroying behaviors
that will grab at you on your way to
developing discipline to help in that
fight Robert Green and I are going to
discuss the best path through this
Minefield a lot of people are feeling
hopeless right now and they are
gravitating towards alcohol porn Netflix
Etc but nobody is coming to save them if
they want to get out of that hole
they're going to have to do it
themselves so what is it that people can
do and quite honestly avoid doing if
they want to stop being aimless and make
their dreams a
reality well um sometimes you have to
get deep enough in that hole that you
really really want to get out so the key
factor in life is motivation is desire
is the energy that you bring to it so if
you don't believe in yourself if you
only half-heartedly are reading my books
or listening to Tom or listening to me
and you go yeah I kind of want to change
it won't matter it won't change anything
you'll just go back to your old habits
right because habits are very powerful
you're a product of the cultural moment
it's very hard to resist it it's very
hard to swim against the tide of the
times that we live in so if you don't
have the motivation if you don't have
the energy if you don't have the idea
that damn it I'm going down fast if I
don't turn this around I'm you know
you're only alive once it's you know
YOLO and um it goes past really fast I
can tell you that is now as I get older
faster than you think so you've got to
be desperate you've got to tell yourself
I've got to get out of this I've got to
change my life life I've got to swim
against the tide of the times that I
live in I have to change my ways because
if not when I'm 32 when I'm
35 all of my hopes all of my horizons
will narrow so much that it it's going
to look very very Bleak right so the
younger you are the better and you have
to have that desire you have to look
yourself Square in the eye and the
number one thing to think of is you have
much less time than you imagine right it
goes B passed really quickly your 20s
will go past faster than you could
imagine suddenly you're 30 go whoa what
am I going to do then you're 40 [ __ ]
it's too late you know okay so just
realize you don't have as much time as
you think you have now the other thing
you have to realize
is um what builds strength what builds
character is
resistance right so if you're trying to
make your body physically stronger you
need resistance you need weights because
weights are are natural resistance you
need to swim water is resistant you need
to run you know gravity is resistant Etc
that resistance builds muscle builds
strength builds aerobic power etc etc
life mentally it's the same thing the
times that you live in are providing
incredible amounts of resistance towards
success towards power towards a sense of
fulfillment they are flooding your face
with all kinds of qualities that you
have to resist and to the degree that
you're aware of these qualities and to
the degree that you resist them you will
build inner strength you will build the
kind of life skills that are necessary
to survive in a and thrive in a very
very tough world so one of these
resistance factors is social media is
the level of distractions that we're all
facing right there never ever ever been
so intense
and you have to
realize you don't let everything into
your body you don't eat all this sugar I
hope at least you don't eat all the
pizza that you think is great for you
you understand that you have to limit
your diet to be healthy particularly as
you get older you have to limit your
sugar intake among other things Etc okay
you have to limit the amount of stuff
that's coming into your head you have to
put your head on a diet you have to go I
can't be distracted I can't absorb all
of this information the human brain we
can only retain so much in our
short-term memory let alone our
long-term memory you're flooding it with
too much and what happens is you're
losing the ability to focus on simple
things right so to be successful you
have to have primarily the quality to
focus to concentrate and that begins on
small banal tasks like I mean this is
this is you know a simple example but if
you're playing the the piano or you
learn want to be a chess master you have
to learn the basics you have to learn
the moves the different games you can
play you have to learn how to do scales
etc etc you have to be very focused and
attentive to it so if you're trying to
learn scales and learn how to play the
piano and your mind is in 20 different
places you'll never Master it you have
to develop the ability to concentrate to
focus and the times that you were living
in are making it increasingly so
difficult for you that it's splin during
your brain and your attention into a
thousand different pieces to the point
where you can't even focus on your body
on yourself on who you are on what makes
you strong so you got to put your brain
on a diet and that means you got to
limit how much social media you let into
your life you have to limit how many
different sources you're listening to
you can't be listening to a hundred
different podcasts every week although
you should be listening to Tom's podcast
right so put yourself on a diet and say
what is it that matters what is
important and then that brings you to
the second question which is tied to the
first one which is by far the most
important step in your life with all of
these things coming at you that are
creating resistance that are going to
make it hard for you which is who are
you what makes you unique what makes
what were you born to achieve in this
world you have to be aware of that and
to be aware of that you have to be able
to focus you have to have introspect
introspect inection is a is a skill it's
not given to you the ability to tune out
things and to look at yourself and go
Inward and go this is what matters to me
this is what I hate I realized early on
I've said this before I hate politicking
I hate office politics I hate working
for other people they annoy me I I feel
like I can do a better job than they can
so I hate that therefore Robert you need
to be an entrepreneur you're not not
meant in this life to be working for
other people so you have to be attuned
to yourself you have to look in and go
this is what I hate this is what I love
and you have to be honest because you
can fool yourself you can think that you
love rock music and that you're meant to
be a rock star but it's only that's
because of the culture that you're
living in what your friends think is
cool that isn't necessarily who you are
you have to look at yourself you have to
focus deep you have to go through a
process being honest and going what
excites me what do I feel like makes me
unique and what the the the power that
you have in life is minding that
uniqueness minding that individual
quality in whatever field you go into
even in business or being an
entrepreneur and so you can't have that
self-awareness if you can't focus if you
can't concentrate if you can't be bored
and take a notebook and start writing
things out about your childhood about
who you are about what you love and what
you hate if you can't do that I'm sorry
but there's there's no hope for you
there's really no hope for you so you
have to be able to put yourself on that
information diet and go into that
introspective
process that that's really heavy and I
think a lot of people are going to
they're going to hear that there's no
hope for them that's going to feel right
and before you and I started rolling you
said um things really are bad for them
and if I grew up in their generation I
would probably be in the same
boat why why is it bad right now what
what is it that's creating the sense of
hopelessness well we live it in a very
nihilistic culture and I find it in our
entertainment you know so the idea of
having a set of principles that guide
you in life man that seems so
oldfashioned that seems so fussy so no
man I'm just going to be who I am you
know and and the the values that are
implanted in in in entertainment are
completely nihilistic they give you no
Focus they give you no Direction They
Don't tell you what actually matters in
life right they give you all of these
false these Illusions about what life is
about and so some of it stems from the
kind of fractured society that we live
in so fractured in what way
well most cultures up until the 21st
century had a kind of cohesiveness to it
there were certain myths that people
ascribe to that that set the boundaries
this is what unites us all these are the
things that are good these are the
things that we hate these are the values
that are good these are the values that
are bad now sometimes those cultures
those conventions those myths were not
good but then you had something to rebel
against so me as a product of the 60s
and then in the 70s when I came of age
you know and I'm in
college I didn't like the culture
culture that was there the kind of
monolith the myths and things I wanted
to Rebel but I had something to rebel
against what are you going to rebel
against now you don't even know what to
rebel against now because there's
nothing it's just pure chaos I can't
point my fig finger to what are the
guiding myths of our particular cultural
moment maybe in a hundred years they'll
be clear but I think a lot of our myths
come from
technology you know so my study of
history is every cultural moment has a
kind of guiding metaphor for it
something I'm writing about right now
and so like in the 18th century The
Guiding metaphor was theater life is
like theater we're all actors we're all
playing roles early in the 20th century
it was the unconscious and Freud and
discovering the unconscious and
exploring that which had a huge impact
on culture there were other myths but i'
point to those today it's technology
it's AI it's it's all those other things
right and so but that is like that kind
of devalues the human element so I
recently um gave a a couple of talks
with a conversation with Ryan holiday
and uh you can look at these on YouTube
it was like an hour and a half here in
LA and in Seattle and Ryan asked me my
thoughts about
Ai and I went on a kind of a ramp I'm
not a lite I understand and I use
technology Etc but my point was instead
of fetishizing AI and chat gbt which I
admit I've seen it it's powerful how it
goes like that whoa It's like magic
fetishize the human brain fetishize
human powers fetishize our sociabilities
our theory of Mind theory of mind is
what makes humans human and what that
means is we have have the ability to put
ourselves in the minds of other people
to imagine what they're thinking what
they're doing that's what makes us a
preeminent Social Animal which is the
source of our power what is your power
your power is your ability to be social
is your ability to navigate difficult
social environments your second power is
your brain and all the incredible things
it has one of them is the ability to
focus one is the ability to learn it's
the plasticity of the brain so the
guiding metaphor if it's all technology
it kind of makes us think that you know
with your smartphone you have all of
these powers and you can't believe it it
makes you so impatient everything should
be like my phone everything should be
instant everything should be at my
fingertip if my inet service goes down
for a few hours I get so cranky you're
like a little baby whining and crying
right no what really should matter is
not you don't have those Powers you
can't press a button your brain isn't
designed that way it takes years
to develop true skill to be a master at
something you need to go back to these
Elemental Primal human qualities our
sociability so get out of the virtual
realm learn social skills which is what
my book the laws of human nature will
kind of help you and grind you ground
you in as well as the 48 Laws of Power
and you need brain skills you need to
develop skills actual skills that you
can use in this
world man that's really interesting so
the idea of the guiding myths um that's
something that's sort of been in the
back of my mind but I hadn't pulled
forward so thank you for that because
now that you say that I think one of the
biggest issues that I see people
struggling with I would have used
different words but it's the same idea
um people look at the world they look at
the here in the west they look at the
game that we're playing they say
capitalism e this is gross like it's
predatory whatever and because they have
such a Negative View of the system
because the system right now isn't
working for their generation they just
want to opt out but it creates this
incredibly cynical incredibly aimless
incredibly hopeless Vibe and uh I think
you and I agree that's dangerous now I I
I will say for my own sake I think it's
dangerous for them I think the punchline
of life is all about fulfillment I think
that's what people should be pursuing I
think fulfillment has an
evolutionarily um imbued formula and
that recipe maybe is a better word is
you're going to have to work really hard
to gain a set of skills that you care
about for your own intrinsic reasons
that allow you to serve yourself and
others if you do that you're going to be
fine if you don't you're going to have a
profound sense of disease because people
want to check out of the system they are
to your
point ask they're throwing the baby out
with a bathwater so they're trying to
check out of a system which by the way I
think is a phenomenal system and I
advise people not to check out of it but
anyway even if you want to check out of
that system if you then just dive into
uh a any setup that isolates you you're
going to be in for a bad time because we
the brain works in a certain way and so
I've said many times in the show on my
Tombstone I wanted to read you're having
a biological experience and the reason I
want people to understand that is
because your brain works a certain way
there are certain things you can do that
will align yourself to Feeling Good
Feeling engaged feeling fulfilled loving
communication connection meaning and
purpose all that and there are things
that you can do that will lead you
exactly away from this and so uh
rejecting the system but without a cause
so Rebel Without a Cause
style is not going to move you towards
anything that's a pure move away from
play and if you're just moving away from
something you're going to find yourself
accelerating that sense of aimlessness
and so I there's a a compounding
variable here which is people there's a
rising sentiment burn it all down and
then we'll build Utopia for lack of a
better word in its place and that is
people that don't understand the
absolute Hellfire of chaos that will
reign if your meaning and purpose
becomes destroying instead of building
because if if they really do succeed in
tearing down a system uh you don't have
scaffolding left to build upon and and
that bad things happen in that vacuum
well first of all also it's not possible
to tear things down because the world is
larger than just individuals it's larger
than a movement it's larger than your
generation I'm afraid to say so you
don't even have the power to tear things
down because the world will go into its
own kind of system it's on the human
unconscious has moved us throughout
history Human Nature has it's going to
continue it's beyond it transcends you
as an individual so you don't have as
much power to burn burn things down as
you imagined so just get over that that
childish fantasy but the second thing I
would say is I began by saying what
matters is your level of energy your
level of motivation in life right and
when you're
cynical and when you're nihilistic it
just drains you of energy why do
anything man it doesn't matter you know
10 years down the road it's climate
change we're all going to be dying
anyway what matters okay but I'm writing
a book right now on the sublime in which
I'm trying to say the world that you
live in is not ugly it's not horrible
it's not destructive it's insanely
beautiful the fact of being alive is one
of the most weirdest things I even have
a chapter called awaken to the
strangeness of being alive it's chapter
number two and so just the fact that you
are alive now as a human being is an
incredibly unlikely set of circumstances
that occurred so
the world that we live in is utterly
Sublime and utterly weird and a lot of
that interesting stuff comes from
science so at the same time that
technology is kind of making our brains
into mush scientists are uncovering
things that just are so fantastic
they're extraordinary what we're
learning about the cosmos what we're
learning about the origins of Life what
we're learning about Evolution what
we're learning about the brain I mean if
you just think about it it's staggering
and so being part of that wave of
knowledge that's overwhelming us right
now should be incredibly exciting but if
you have no excitement in life if you
think it's all just crap and it's better
just to not care and you know what that
comes from it's a common adolescent pose
and I probably had it when I was 16
years old man I don't care you let's
screw everything you know it comes from
insecurity it doesn't it's not strength
being that kind of of rebel without any
reason for against nothing is actually a
sign of incredible weakness and you know
where it comes from comes from the fear
of failure so if I don't try to do
anything if I just say oh it's all going
to hell I'm just going to go in my van
I'm just going to tour around the United
States I'm just going to take videos and
things I you know what the hell let you
know as as King Louis the 14 said
a after me the delu I don't care if
that's your attitude towards life you
know
then that's what that's what you're
going to get so um you have so it comes
from a fear of failure it doesn't come
from strength because to try something
to try to build a business to try and
write a book to try and make a film puts
your you're putting yourself out on the
line and you could fail and with failure
comes criticism and with failure you're
exposing yourself you're exposing your
ambition you're exposing that you
weren't up to the task better to not
even try and to just say oh I don't care
because then you're not exposing
yourself so that kind of pose is is
actually a form of childish insecurity
that you need to get over but you need
to have a sense of excitement and if you
don't if you think everything is just
gray and equal and bad and we're all
heading to Hell in a hand basket then
that's that's what you becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy so I'm writing
a book to just make you
get that energy that excitement again
and you know what when you were a child
you had
it I don't care if you grew up in this
culture now that is kind of I think
deadening things you're a child children
have this energy that nothing can can
suppress if you you actually live in a
world of Enchantment things are like
amazing to you you want to learn you
want to read books you want to explore
you want to explore you want to
Adventure you had it when you were a
child and you You' lost it you've lost
it in adolescence you lost it when you
were 12 you lost it because the culture
sucked it out of you but it's there it's
still waiting to come back to you but if
you don't have that enchantment about
life if you don't see something really
amazing about the one life that you have
that can go back go by very quickly then
nothing will ever change you you're just
going to end up as I said it'll be a
self fulfilling prophecy of
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code okay I agree with all that it's
easy though to step into their shoes and
look back at you and say Hey listen old
man who remembers the late 60s uh that
worked because of the time you were in
and demographics are Destiny and the
time that I'm born it's just an absolute
[ __ ] show uh baby boomers are hoarding
all of the wealth they refus to leave
the workforce I can't buy a property you
and when you were first getting on the
property ladder it was like $150 to buy
a house in Beverly Hills and so yeah it
seems great for you and Ops uh I've
taken on $180,000 in college debt it's
non-dischargeable even in bankruptcy uh
so you found a way to put me in
indentured servitude and I can't expect
my oh I'm not done I can't expect my
Social Security to be there when I get
there because you [ __ ] won't die
uh
so that's how they're going to look back
at you what do you say to somebody with
that frame of reference well you know
there's obviously some truth to that and
I said I understand why people are the
way they are you know but not every time
is this sort of golden period in history
you know I liveed through the 1980s
which I thought was a really really ugly
period in history I found it very Bleak
and very horri horrifying and I didn't
have this kind of golden thing that you
might imagine I did not have success
until I was 39 years old I struggled I I
was more like how people are nowadays in
that I wandered from job to job I had 60
different jobs I never held a job for
more than 11 months in my entire life
okay so I know and I got very depressed
I even had moments of being
suicidal I lived in a crappy one-bedroom
apartment in Santa Monica I know Santa
Monica is very nice but back then it
wasn't so nice and so I know what it
means to struggle I didn't have debt but
I didn't have any money I was very poor
living in many most of my life I was
very poor so it's not as golden as you
think for me individually but I
understand the baby boomer scenario and
everything that you're facing but so
what stop whining stop whining about the
circumstances my parents grew up in the
depression it's not that's nowhere near
this times are nowhere near what they
had to deal with my grandparents really
more but even my parents to some extent
so stop your goddamn whining was pretty
awful back then they had faced the stock
market crash in
1929 they had to live through the
depression of the 1930s then they had
World War II you think you have it bad
try having to deal with the nais and the
Japanese attacking you both at the same
time the
1960s we had the vietn War I was of the
age where I had a draft number my draft
number was so low that I was certain to
be drafted but fortunately the draft
ended like six months before my age came
of whatever so you know you think it's
the worst ever it's not the worst ever I
can point to a hundred other periods in
history that were equally incredibly
Bleak the generation that came out of
World War I do you know the massacre
that young people faced in World War I
that's why we had the 1920s where the
flappers because people didn't want they
wanted to drink themselves into
Oblivion millions of young men died for
a senseless stupid War okay you have no
historic sense you have no sense of
proportion just because you live in the
2020s you think that this is the worst
time you don't read history you don't
understand that it's not the worst ever
so stop your whining there are plenty of
humans that have dealt with things far
worse than you've ever dealt with are
our ancestors who were Pioneers in the
19th century they F face privations and
poverty that you would have no
conception over you have it much better
than a lot of other people in the past
so stop your goddamn whining people had
it worse in the past a lot of times you
don't have it so bad okay you have a lot
of debt all right you have to make a
plan you have to be strategic but if you
give up if you just say oh it's the Baby
Boomers oh I can't own a home if that's
your energy then that's going to be the
faith that you have there are always
circumstances that are going to be
resistant to you I understand the
resistance factors now are very powerful
but are you going to meet them or are
you just going to give in and surrender
you can make that choice and that's fine
if you want to live on a organic farm in
Oregon I have nothing against it and I'm
not making fun of it because that is a
good life that could be fine if that's
your ambition but maybe you can't make
it that way because it's not that's not
an easy life either right so you have to
make a choice do I want something else
for myself or do I just want to wallow
in self-pity and blame other people and
you can blame other people and there's a
lot of things to blame just as when I
was growing up I had a lot of things I
could blame but you have to look at it
differently and you have to say that
kind of energy is self-destructive how
can I get out of that energy I can only
get out of I have to control what I can
control I have bad student debt I have
$100,000 in debt or I got to make a plan
for the next five years first of all you
didn't have to get that $100,000 in debt
so you take a little bit of
responsibility for that you know I mean
I know they had little things that you
signed that you weren't aware of but for
a long time we've been aware of some of
those predatory practices in lending so
it's partially your responsibility a
little there but okay you have a 100,000
,000 in debt you make a plan I'm going
to I'm going to have to work it off this
way I'm going to have to get a job that
pays well but at the same time I'm going
to be building other kind of life skills
Etc I'm going to get myself out of this
hole I'm going to have hope I'm G to
have energy fine that's that's the
alternative path but if you don't have
that if you don't think that it's
possible then there's nothing really
that I can say I could just waste a lot
of words it won't mean anything but
don't think that you have it worse than
other people because you have no sense
of History you're living in this bubble
this illusion of the present you don't
know what people like were living in the
Middle Ages in the 18th century in
America in the 19th century World War I
the depression the Vietnam War Watergate
era the the recession we had then stop
it you don't understand you're not
reading
history man I I agree with that very
much the way that I think about it
because
one uh I have a feeling that even with
the like intense energy you say that
from a place of you want to see them do
well uh you don't want to see them be
stuck and that's certainly where when I
get riled up on this topic it's from
that perspective and what I used to ask
people that would you know come to me
and say look I've got it really hard for
whatever reason and I've worked in the
inner city so I've seen poverty just
absolutely demolish people it it's
really brutal to see up close and the
only question that I can think of is
okay you've got 180 ,000 in student debt
uh boomers are sucking up all the oxygen
in the room whatever whatever all the
bad things terrible economy no way to
get on the property Market all that
climate change the the question that
remains is and now what and if your
answer to and now what is I give up I
will say that that is not a life frame
of reference that I'll I'll refer to it
as that that is going to lead you
anywhere neurochem Al advantageous now
okay going back to you're having a
biological experience so when I say A
neurochemically advantageous uh
experience what I mean is you're not
going to feel good it's just going to
feel terrible and so it's an incredibly
self-destructive frame of reference to
adopt now we all see the world through a
distorted lens that's what I mean when I
say frame of reference so your frame of
reference is a pair of glasses that you
wear and this glasses are distorted and
they do not show you reality they show
you a distortion of reality the great
news is uh even though it doesn't seem
like it you get to shape those lenses
and the thing that worries me is that
people have shape the lens to show them
a world that is uh against them it is a
hostile
Universe well and let's say that these
all these things are real like about the
they're very real I don't deny them and
I don't deny the reality of people
living in inner cities and I have a huge
readership among people from inner
cities who used my books and have helped
them a lot and I did a book with 50 c
who's I agree understand it's an
exception but he came from the worst
part of America and he managed to pull
himself up in an incredible story so I I
understand that
but let's say that these are the
circumstances that you have and you're
young and when you're young you're
idealistic which is part of cynicism is
just the flip side of idealism so your
idealism you can't really hold on to so
it just flips into cynicism but the two
are very much related and
so if you believe that these things that
that are so injust in this world then
there's your energy there's where you
put yourself there's your cause your
caus isn't to to destroy is to say wow
there's a lot of Injustice in this world
there's a lot of poor people that are
suffering because there's no
opportunities out there Boomers have
created this awful world all right how
do I construct a better world how can I
create a movement how can I how can I
create um more opportunity for other
people how can I start a business that
will employ thousands of people instead
of just wasting away and not not
contributing at all how can I contribute
to helping climate change you know it
kind of ticks me off that there's so
much technology in Silicon Valley that
goes to entertaining us to masturbating
our mind so to speak with all kinds of
trivial [ __ ] things that don't
matter life take all of that Brilliant
Energy and do it to solving some real
problems that we're facing problems that
we've just outlined here about the lack
of opportunities about home ownership
about climate change but pour your
energy into something productive if you
feel that way and then contribute a
sense of cont contribution you know it
will fulfill you in a way as a social
animal the sense of I just didn't whine
and give up I actually did something to
help change this world and if you think
that's impossible if it's just like Don
kote tilting at windmills then fine and
that's that's what end up happening but
even Don kote had this illusion that he
was actually going to change it so you
need to have those Illusions even if
it's not true that you can change this
world you least need to believe that you
can kill those windmills with your sword
you need to least believe in the
illusion and then then your energy will
change so if there's so much against you
there's so much Injustice in the world
there's your cause there's your energy
there's your
hope so if it really is an
illusion uh why would they be better off
believing in an illusion than trying to
contact ground truth figure out what is
real and how to operate moving forward
so that they
can make whatever change it is that they
want to
change well I'm not sure quite I
understand I mean what I meant by
illusion is Maybe maybe you as an
individual can't really stop climate
change obviously you can't and it's
bigger problem that you than than than
what any of us can really uh tackle but
believing that you can make a difference
will give you the energy to create
something to do something as I said in
human nature change your attitude to
change your circumstances so if you
believe in it then you will you will do
something towards that and maybe it
won't be enough but if enough people
believe that then it will be enough you
know but what was the second part of
your question that was it I wanted to
know so my thing is it's what I call the
only belief that matters so the only
belief that matters is that if you put
time and energy into getting better at
something you'll actually get better at
it yeah so if like my advice would be
very different if I actually thought
there was nothing they could do the
reason that my advice is to ask and now
what and to come up with a positive
vision for their future is that they
really can can make a change I mean
there just the litany I mean you've
already gone through the Litany of of
people that have had it way worse and
they've still managed to do something
productive with their time anybody that
doesn't know Winston Churchill story it
is truly incredible this was a guy that
was watching his City be bombed nightly
he was constantly in danger he was on
the front lines of World War I being
shot at like this was not somebody who
was tucked away and he had severe bouts
of depression indeed and he was he just
always said you know one I'm grateful
that I live at such a pivotal moment in
history so that we can do something
about this so to your point it's like if
you really see a lot of things you want
to make change on then it's like okay
what do I need to do in order to make
that change so going back to frame of
reference if your frame of reference is
cynical and there's nothing I can do it
it becomes that self-fulfilling prophecy
because only behaviors matter but your
behaviors are Downstream of your beliefs
so if you don't get your beliefs right
that hey if I engage in this if I go do
something uh if I want to pay off my
student loans there is a path to getting
this done and it doesn't mean that the
deck isn't stacked against people it
doesn't mean that there aren't worse
times in human history but at the same
time if you the only way to make a bad
time worse is to have a negative
attitude about it and I mean look
there's two books written about aitz
where that's the punchline man search
for meaning and then um the book is
called the choice I forget the woman's
name uh she's still alive as far as I
know she was doing podcasts very
recently and her whole family is killed
in the Holocaust she was in the
Holocaust um and she was a dancer and
the Nazis used to make her dance while
they were like selecting people to be
killed it was crazy just like
unimaginable amounts of psychological
torture and she realized I have a choice
to make now that I've survived is that
going to be my life or am I going to
find a way to find meaning and purpose
and and go after something yeah and so
it's I I don't want to adjudicate
whether worst time not worst time I just
want to say such is The Human Condition
yeah that everyone is going to encounter
difficult things your frame of reference
is going to control what you do and what
you do will control the quality of your
life I mean aitz I mean who had it worse
than that can you imagine and I've read
many many accounts of it as somebody who
lost a lot of my ancestry in in the
Holocaust um and I I highly can
recommend enough Reading Man search for
meaning Victor Frankl it's an amazing
book that accounts what he lived through
but also a philosophy of life that will
serve you very well in exactly the
struggles that we're talking about so
yeah talk to me about
Envy life is driven in large part by
Envy how much of that do you think's at
play here with social media exacerbating
all the comparisons
and yeah well um you know it's been a
subject that has interested me for a
long time because I think it is a huge
motivating factor that people don't talk
about I had a chapter in the 48 Laws of
Power called Never appear too perfect
and the dangers of being seeming perfect
and greater you're going to attract envy
and then in human nature I had a whole
chapter on envy and kind of where it
comes from and and how you yourself are
prone to feeling envy and so the first
thing you have to realize is these
negative qualities that are embedded in
human nature and I think we can all
agree that they're seemingly negative
like Envy like overt aggression or
passive aggression or
grandiosity or being irrational or being
only able to think in terms of the short
term Etc all of these qualities Envy
being a very very potent one of them the
main thing is to not externalize it and
to say oh people on social media have
Envy oh it's this person it's my friend
you have it I have it I feel Envy all
the time I know it I sense it in myself
and it's because the human brain is a
comparing machine our brains function by
taking in information and comparing it
to things that have happened previously
so we can say this is familiar this is
unfamiliar if it's familiar I can deal
with it if it's unfamiliar I have to be
creative I have to think in the moment
our brains
compare that part of our brain is now
operating in the social realm because
we're social animals we're continually
comparing ourselves to other people what
they have what we don't have their the
Great Vacations they're taking the
incredible girlfriend or wife that they
have that's much better than mine the
much the greater income that they're
making they're younger you know I've
talked in previous podcasts about the
envy that I have for Ryan holiday and
it's very real and I'm not joking
and I deal with it and and I turn into
something positive because I I love Ryan
I admire him but damn it he's younger
than me he's had 20 best-selling books
before I even wrote a single book he's
got all this incredible energy and all
this he's got a family yeah I could feel
Envy towards it I'm honest I understand
that I feel it so that's the first thing
to you have to come to grips with you
have Envy okay you think that we are so
sophisticated we live in this modern
21st century world that we've that were
so Superior to anybody in the past but
when it comes to Envy we are the most
primitive animal on the planet because
of our
technology right so having Instagram
that shows you pictures of everybody's
vacation everybody's fun that they're
having in life and man I look at it too
right now you know I go damn it my
friend's in Istanbul it looks fantastic
why could I why can't I be like that
they're climbing this mountain I had a
stroke I can't climb the mountain damn
it why do I have to see this it's in
your face it's making you feel Envy all
the time it's making you compare
yourself to other people and it's
feeding that cynicism and nihilism that
we're talking about you know so if
you're looking and you're seeing that
boomers are living in these great houses
that they own all the companies that
they own Amazon although he's not a
boomer you know they own all the wealth
in this country etc etc then why bother
man why even try you know you know and
anyway I hate millionaires they're
they're ugly people they suck you know
kind of thing that's your thinking you
know so all that Envy is going to feed
into this kind of negative thing where
it's hopeless I can't even do anything
it's also going to make you passive
aggressive it's going to make you leave
[ __ ] comments on YouTube which believe
me I see all the time or or wherever you
you You' go on social media it's
infecting you in subtle ways it's
draining you of positive positive energy
and you have to come to terms with the
fact that you feel envy and you have to
turn it into something productive you
have to channel like we were talking
earlier about channeling your
aggressiveness you have to channel it
into something productive which
is instead of trashing people who are
better have more than you I'm going to
emulate them I'm going to use them as a
role model he's got much more money all
right I'm going to I'm going to make
some money I'm going to do so as well
he's a better athlete in this particular
sport right I'm going to raise my game
you know I'm going to become a better
Seducer I'm going to become better at
this that or the other instead of
feeling Envy the other thing you can do
is you can tell
yourself the people you envy don't
really have it any better than you do I
talked about how in um in laws of human
nature in the 60s not many people will
remember this but there was a man named
Aristotle Onasis who was married to
Jacqueline Kennedy the Widow of John
Kennedy he was the the wealthiest man at
the time one of the wealthiest men at
the time he was a Greek shipping magnet
he had Yachts Galore he had every life
everything you could dream about and he
had jacqulyn Kennedy you know the most
desirable beautiful woman in the world
he was the most miserable depressed son
of a [ __ ] you know on the planet at the
time he was incredibly unhappy so these
people that you think are so wonderful
you're seeing all these images you're
only seeing the good side but they're
probably just as miserable as you are
inside because they don't have any inner
qualities they don't they're just
they're just out there trying to show
you the best stuff but they're actually
very insecure so these people aren't as
great as you think they are and the
other thing is to practice the opposite
of envy and and this is a hard thing to
do but it's a very positive trait so
when people have good things you're so
let's say Envy is very common among
friends for reasons that I explained in
the book I'm not going to tell you about
now but it's very very common among
friends so your friend got a better job
than you damn it oh God I'm really I'm
going to smile say yeah that's great but
deep down oh [ __ ] what a jerk he
probably didn't really deserve it he
probably got there by some nefarious
means Etc instead of going through that
Envy process which you don't admit that
it's Envy you think that it's just
because he is a bad person go through
the opposite and go train yourself to go
to be happy for other people's success
you won't believe what a great relief it
is and how how it'll help you benefit
you therapeutically in your mind in
general to be happy to celebrate other
people's success it's a very wonderful
great human quality that you have to
develop because it doesn't come
naturally to us so um just be aware that
it's something that lives inside of you
and the worst thing are people who feel
Envy but aren't aware of
it yeah the inability to control control
one's mind I'll narrow it down to
emotions I think one of the things that
gets people into so much trouble is they
do not have control over their emotional
mind part of that is just lack of
self-awareness so they they've never
even taken the time to say what is this
thing that I feel and then and this is
another thing that I'm ranting and
raving about so if my Tombstone is going
to say you're having a biological
experience like a little subhead under
that that says oh and by the way don't
trust your emotions uh people think if
they feel it then they should act on it
and it must be true and when I have a
strong emotion I get so skeptical of
myself and I have just learned man there
are times where I feel so certain and I
have so much righteous indignation only
to then be like oh yeah that actually
was stupid uh and I think people would
save themselves a lot of pain and
suffering if they went hm that's weird I
feel depressed or I feel nihilistic or
this all feels like [ __ ] hold on I'm
going to check that or I'm mad at that
person they upset me or I'm envious they
must not deserve this like all of that
if you check yourself and get goal
directed so okay what are you trying to
do what are you trying to accomplish
what's the emotional state that you want
to exist in um I think a lot of people
don't even have the Northstar in their
life so for me the Northstar of not just
my life but any life to me seems like it
should be to reduce as much human
suffering as possible and to promote as
much human flourishing okay cool well
then are the things you're doing
believing saying are they in line with
that like is it uh
reducing human suffering to lean into
envy and I think if people had that
Northstar then they could get into just
a a a question of what's effective and
when I do this I get this result and
that isn't the result that I want or
when I do this I get that result and
that is the result that I want cool if
you're getting the result that you want
you're doing the right thing by
definition if you don't get the result
that you want you're doing the wrong
thing by definition so if you don't feel
the way that you want you're doing
something wrong if you're not getting
the result that you want you're doing
something wrong again that doesn't mean
the deck isn't stacked against you just
means that given the hand you've been
dealt you're not playing the cards right
in a way that's giving you the outcome
that you're looking for now I want to
get back to this idea of consumption
versus creation so Netflix has become
shorthand for uh you know just sort of a
meme life of a guy sitting in a dark
room smoking weed red eyes not going to
bed almost sort of staying up out of
spite to like you know [ __ ] you to my
boss who I guess controls my day and so
by me staying up late I'm I'm
controlling my time
but I have a feeling that what's going
on is people aren't in control of their
emotions so they're not framing this
hard time that they are legitimately
going through they're not framing it in
in a way that will allow them to act
productively so they then feel the way
they don't want to feel they don't see
an outlet through Behavior to fix it so
they start consuming consuming consuming
alcohol weed porn Netflix whatever which
all of those things can be fun in the
right amounts at the right time um does
that seem true to you that this is
ultimately them trying to numb out
effectively well um it's very difficult
to be a human being let's let's start at
a very basic level going back to our
earliest
ancestry so unlike animals we are not
programmed now animals aren't completely
programmed that's a myth but they're
much more programmed than we are by
their instincts so a leopard doesn't
wake up in the morning and go what am I
going to do today am I going to hunt
this animal or that no I think it's kind
of cloud no they don't they don't have
that choice we do and that's what makes
us aimless that's what makes us wake up
in the morning go man what am I going to
do so what that means what that
translates into is the human being has
empty has a hole inside of ourselves a
hole that we need to fill in some way
because we have incredibly active Minds
The the brain if you break it down as I
said earlier we should be fetishizing it
if you study the brain in in a larger
sense it's absolutely
astounding the powers that it has the
amount of neural Pathways that connect
the complexity of it and the activeness
of it I meditate every morning as I try
and still my mind whoa thoughts are
coming like this you can't believe how
active your mind is you're just not
aware of it and but we have this
emptiness we don't know what to fill it
with this mind is active we're not
programmed we don't know what to do and
because of that emptiness we have to
fill it with something we're restless
and if we don't know what to fill it
with we're just going to consume consume
consume consume consume as a way to kind
of deal with that empty feeling as you
say to num ourselves we're going to eat
eat eat we're going to watch movies
we're going to binge watch we're going
to get addicted to porn because it's
filling that emptiness it's taking that
AC of mind and it's dumb it's numbing it
and it's like you know it seems
satisfying because we don't have to deal
with these other things so you have to
be aware that you have this emptiness
inside of you everybody does I have it
everyone does but my life the way I go
and I don't mean to be put the focus
continually on me is I wake every up
every morning now because I've reached
this position and I want you to have
this this privilege that I have I'm not
saying that I feel so great I want you
to have it I have this feeling I wake up
in the morning I know what I have to
accomplish I know what my goals are I
know what I have to do that particular
day I know what I have to do that
particular week these are the things
that I can do to fill that and emptiness
to program to give myself a purpose to
have that North Star that you're talking
about and yes within those parameters I
can waste some time reading about the
Lakers on on lakersground.net you know
it's website that I that I lurk in or I
can read articles that have nothing to
do with my life you know I can go on and
on I can waste time but I have a general
parameter I don't have that gnawing
emptiness that has to be continually
filled by consuming consuming consuming
so be aware that your mind is so active
that you have to have something to fill
it but it's your choice whether you're
just going to consume mindless stuff or
you're going to actually use that
Restless active brain of yours and put
it to some incredible function how do
they figure out what incredible function
to put it to well that's the
million-dollar question and that's why I
wrote my my fifth book Mastery um so I
have a chapter one in Mastery called um
discover your life's
task and it's not easy and I don't have
like a formula for it but I I kind of
lay out the process that could lead you
to it so if you're 22 or or
younger then it's it's pretty clear what
you have to do and it's not so difficult
if you're 29 30 gets more complicated if
you're 40 it's very difficult if you're
50 it's almost impossible so the younger
you go through this process the better
and what it entails is figuring out what
makes you unique in life and I don't
mean like total w