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Language: en
to truly be free you have to be strong
enough to control your own life and many
men today simply do not qualify many of
you have been told the pursuit of power
is disgusting you shouldn't do it many
of you don't even have a clear
definition of what it means to be a
strong man and as today's guest Patrick
B David says we have a hero making
machine problem so today Patrick and I
are going to dissect the current crisis
of masculinity as well as what true
power really is and how to have it in
abundance let me ask are men today weak
and if so what can we do about it if you
look at data yes from 1960 till today
our population has increased around 90%
but in
1960 7 million people used to live by
themselves today 38 million W 442 per
increase right so what happens when
we're alone you don't have competition
kick and your ass challenging you
pushing you having all that stuff taking
place standards today are slightly uh
lower uh you can look at strength with
men with boys what they have going on uh
then there's another data that's deeply
concerning when you look at from
1940 the percentage of kids that were
born to a single mother in 1940 was 4%
1940 4% that means 96% of kids that were
born in 1940 were born in a household of
a mom and a dad in today we went from 4%
in 1940 to 40% today that's 10x a data
we do not want to be bragging about by
the way worldwide we're the worst when
you look at data China India they keep
it together we don't keep it together
Middle Easterns they keep it together
Muslims keep it together but in America
we've gone a complete different way now
some people will say this was FDR's bad
policies because the whole welfare state
some will say this was Lyndon Johnson
but regardless who we choose to blame
and put the responsibility on here's
what we will look at a father offers two
things that naturally comes to him when
it comes on to boys so when we're
talking choose your enemies wise day I'm
talking to Tom Brady and I said
Tom when I look at somebody that does
something very big they have three
things in common one they experienced
unconditional love so somebody that no
matter what you did you got arrested oh
my God babe are you okay what happened
in jail did they do anything to you like
you can't do nothing wrong in this
person's eye like you actually
understand I cannot believe this human
being loves me and I can go to jail you
still love me freaking awesome right we
need that the second thing we need is an
unbelievable amount of pain from someone
you loved meaning no matter what you and
I do we can never make this person happy
you can win Mr Olympia you can become a
billionaire you can become a president
you can become whatever you want to
become this to this person's ey it's
always going to be like yeah whatever
but yeah whatever so you're never going
to win this person and your entire life
you're pursuing converting this person
and baptizing them into finally
celebrating your success right and the
last thing was you choose your enemies
wisely Brady choses enemies wisely Dana
White choses enemies wisely you got a
lot of these guys that you look at so
where am I going with this you come back
to the boys you're asking about young
boys not having a father father gives
one of three elements that you need as a
as a kid growing up you have to be loved
but you need somebody you fear and you
need somebody you respect if a boy is
raised most boys you get to an age I
remember one time I'm 14 years old my
mom is hitting me and I'm like what are
you doing your hand hurts what are you
doing it's the last time she hit me cuz
it it hurt her her when she's hitting me
I'm 14 years old it's doing nothing to
me that was the last time I said you can
hit me all you want it's not going to do
anything to me so what happened in that
moment I no longer feared her I no
longer saw her from an authority place I
just saw her from place that I love her
not fear not respect like you're going
to make me do something you can't make
me do anything I'm coming home at 10:00
my parents were divorced I'm coming home
whatever time I come home where were you
not your business I'm home right that
that kind of respect that a kid will
have but a father if you have fear
respect and love that boy has the
highest likelihood of doing something
big with his life our current incentive
program in America our current tax
system in America doesn't reward husband
and wives having kids together that
decreases the chances of a boy being
raised by a father what does it do
produces Reckless criminals produces
kids that don't have order produces kids
that think they can do whatever they
want to do and essentially they become
net negative to society so you ask me
the question I would say yes but it's a
multi-dimensional answer yeah so when I
think about what it takes to form a
strong man in a time where the thought
of power itself is considered negative
so this would be now
23 24 years ago I created a domain
called seeking power and I remember
telling people about in the beginning
and there was just sort of an intuitive
oh yeah I get it that's cool but
somewhere over time that became like oh
power like that's such a gross thing
it's almost disgusting to want power I
was caught so off guard by that because
I had my head down I was building
something and I was building things in a
way that absolutely required aggression
and power and when I look at people that
want to do something big in their lives
that aren't able to generate power
they're not a able to tap into
aggression I'm like you're not going to
be able to do the things you want to do
you're going to have a sense of internal
weakness um a sense of frustration not
knowing how to make the things come true
in your life that you want to and then
if you layer on top of that a victim
mentality and somebody tells you no no
no the problem is that somebody's
holding you back or whatever you
suddenly have a story for why you feel
the way you
feel but it's not the true story and so
to me that creates this like death SP of
for forget like I'm not doing it as like
a keep off my lawn thing but I'm really
mortified by what is being pushed as
like this is what we should aspire to
and reading your book was really
interesting because your book isn't
about how to make strong men but the
tactics of getting successful at
building a business and obviously it's
more Nuance than just building a
business but is an easy way to talk
about it um you basically spend 300
Pages talking about how to cultivate
capture and use aggression so walk me
through what what is the trick that
people are missing one do they need to
uh understand power Revere power what is
power you ever read the book power
versus Force I'm I'm certain you've read
the book okay power versus force a guy
like you good luck putting it down it's
it's it's written for a guy like you so
the author David Schwarz talks about
different levels we go to where we
calibrate at the bottom whatever these
eight levels are you're trying to force
life and then the next levels you
actually start gaining power you start
becoming powerful right so at the bottom
the lowest level of calibration he talks
about is shame then it's guilt apathy
fear anger Pride desire like I desire
drugs alcohol stuff like that first
level of Consciousness that you start
gaining power and control of your life
is courage you have the courage to be
wrong you have the courage to fail you
have the courage to talk to people you
disagree with courage then it goes
willingness then it goes acceptance then
it goes neutrality like I can stay
neutral like you have a very high score
if you look at the book your score is
going to be high because you have
courage you're willing you're able to
stay neutral and process both sides of
the story acceptance then it goes to
love joy peace Enlightenment and
Enlightenment there's only been two or
three they put at that level this is
when you talk about Jesus
people like that in regards to the
aggression you're talking about or the
the power why should somebody have you
know fight for the power or how to go
about getting the power it it it all
comes back down to what level of a life
you want to live
okay I'm having a conversation with this
guy and I said do you believe in God he
says no I don't believe in God I said
okay so what is God everybody has a god
it doesn't matter who you are you got a
God no I don't yeah you do no I don't I
don't I don't have a god oh really no
why are you building a YouTube channel
with 4 million subscribers this the guy
I'm talking to you know who he is he why
are you building something like this
what what are you trying to get what are
you seeking maybe your God is data for
some people God is sex for some people
God is porn for some people got us drugs
or attention or whatever it may be right
power is a similar way as well you know
years ago Phil donu is interviewing
Milton fredman this we're talking 50
years ago this is in the 70s 7478 he's
wearing a yellow if you put it I think
it's like 43 minutes and Phil danu who
at the time was a socialist you know he
kind of came from that side he says so
why do you think you know what do you
think is the problem with all these
greedy people in
America and Milton fredman smiles and he
says it's always the other fellow that's
greedy right you're not greedy at all
he's saying to him he said oh we're
definitely not greedy here it's always
the other person right everybody's
greedy everybody's selfish
everybody wants power everybody you know
wants to get a certain level of
attention everybody wants to win
everybody wants affirmation to be
affirmed and say you know what you're a
leader you're a CEO you're a rockstar
you're this we want that that is a form
of us being almost proud of ourselves
that our existence was worth it
everyone's going through this journey
how you go about it is trying to
question everything you know I remember
this whole concept of selfish now that
guy selfish that guy is selfish and then
you'd say I'm not selfish and you would
fight it you know what you got lucky I
didn't get lucky you don't know how hard
I work to be this and then eventually
I'm like I'll dance with you you got
lucky I agree you're selfish
yeah you don't have anything to say
because everybody is selfish everybody
wants to be lucky I don't mind being
lucky but here's what happened in the
book there's a section where we talk
about the selfish selfless score right
what percentage of you is selfish and
what percentage of you are selfless so
we had a a focus group that we did and
we're asking a group we said the what is
a person who's a 100%
selfless 0% selfish look like and what
is a person who is a 100% selfish 0%
look like then who is actually more of a
net positive to soci Society you know
what conclusion we came with the person
that's selfless probably smells doesn't
take care of themselves they don't care
about themselves they don't wear nice
clothes they don't eat good food they
don't take care of themselves
everything's about other people it's in
a state of Conformity and the other
person that's selfish 100% probably
doesn't make a good friend probably
doesn't make a good spouse but they
probably look good they probably smell
good they probably make good money they
probably eat good food they probably
find a way to win do you want that
person as your CEO no do you want that
person as your husband or your wife no
do you want that person as your
president absolutely no but guess what
individually just for the sake of
selfishly not embarrassing themselves
they're going to do things because it's
all about them so then we broke it down
and we said what level of calibration is
good to be a SE over company okay do do
you need a 3070 30% selfish 70% selfless
well no that's bad why because we need
you to have Big Dreams we need you to be
pursuing something we need you to be
after something if you're not pursuing
something why are you coming to work
early why are you spending the weekend
thinking about ideas you're not going to
be thinking about that somebody's
driving by the freeway the average
person's like oh nice thing right there
you're going to be like babe can you
pull over let me go in there oh I just
got an idea think about it look at it
from this angle what if we did this to
the company and what if we brought this
product let's walk inside and see what
this building looks like cuz you're
constantly thinking about getting
getting closer to the vision that you
have so we learn the profile of somebody
that is at the right scoring to be a
leader is 7030 70% selfish desires
you're going after Vision who you want
to be the life you want to build then
30% is selfless that person makes for a
good father that person makes for a good
husband that person makes for a good
leader that person inspires others to go
that person challenges others that
person's not going to get too content
too comfortable so as we're talking
about aggression or hour or or any of
that stuff you know somebody may be
listening to this and they're going to
say man you are not my cup of tea
totally get it I'm not for everybody but
the right person watching this they're
going to be like that makes a lot of
sense I've never seen selfishness
explained that way before that makes a
lot of sense I've never heard Milton
Freedman explaining greed that way
before that makes a lot of sense about
power okay let me find a way for me to
become a net positive to society and
then you kind of go through that process
but we got a lot of words that we have a
hard time with because somebody told us
it's a bad word you know be powerful
have power be selfish you know greed no
no no I don't ever want to have any of
those and I don't want to be lucky when
you break it down and you actually look
at it people who ended up winning at the
highest level they got lucky they seek
power they had selfish desires they were
greedy ended up having a life that they
had and they were more of a positive to
society than people who didn't have
those four things they also inspire
people there's to me I think what all
this ultimately boils down to is nobody
and I mean nobody wants to feel out of
control and once you understand that to
gain control of your life you must have
at least Power by my definition so my
quick way of defining power is close
your eyes imagine a world better than
this one open your eyes and go gain the
skill set necessary to actually make
that world come true and so it's really
a battle to get better at something that
matters to you and serves yourself for
sure but also other people and if you
live in that Pursuit you will very
quickly realize that you are up against
the world's tendency to move towards
chaos now people hate it when I frame it
in that this is just the second law of
Thermodynamics the world moves towards
chaos that just is true it's entropy but
I guess because it has a weird word
attached to it people don't really stop
to think about it but if you're trying
to be an entrepreneur I will tell you
there are two enemies that you're going
to face your own mind and entropy and
entropy as represented by uh your wife
Falls ill at the worst possible time
when you have a major
presentation um you have a competitor
that's trying to take you out you get
sued by somebody uh in a moment of
fragility whatever like there is going
to be a Litany of problems every day is
like getting kicked in the face and in
those moments the only way to persevere
is with a level of ferocity like you
have to be able to push through those
storms to inject enough energy into the
system that that you can bring order to
an otherwise chaotic system and move it
in the exact direction that you want it
to go but to do that you really have to
be able to get aggressive that's the the
kindest word I will give to it you're
very unabashed about talking about I'm
using my own words but talking about
aggression in your book what I call the
dark energy um one do you agree that the
reason that you the reason that I would
want men anybody listening to this any
man certainly out there anybody that's
training you to um you should have a
gear that is soft you should be able to
be gentle I'm not trying to create um
people that that only have one gear but
one of your gears should be aggression
Focus determination the ability to run
through a wall to ensure that something
gets done that will not happen by
accident you absolutely going to have to
make that a value turn that value into a
set of skills courage being one of them
and then pushing yourself forward in a
very specific way towards a very
specific aim do you agree with that need
or am I miss I love the way you put it I
love the way you put it so the keyw here
we use is business planning for the
audacious few right audacious few
audacious few it's not for everybody
it's the audacious few for example when
you break down who you want to be on
life okay I don't know if you're a
sports guy or not you watch a sports
team there's a guy that's just a support
cast that's what he does that's the role
he's going to play there's a guy that is
coming off the bench and he does what he
does then there's a guy that's the flag
carrier to the best guy okay each team's
got a flag carrier in a lot of places
there was this player named Paul George
he runs a podcast with uh one of my good
friend Dudley Rutherford son Dallas they
do a very good job together and they
interview other uh uh basketball players
and he said something so powerful in one
of the podcasts he says look it took me
years to realize I can't win a
championship as a number one he says
I've been the best player on a team I
can win a championship as a number one I
can win a championship as a two and a
three but I can't win as a one guess
what he realized he has to be a flag
carrier he's not a one this week I had
Ronda santis on the podcast Governor
Ronda santis right did you watch the
whole thing because it's a pretty uh uh
fiery podcast that caused you have so
much content now that uh well and ended
up causing the number two trending
hashtag for end up arguing cuz the part
I saw you guys were very cordial we we
didn't end up arguing but I asked him a
couple tough questions about marketing
his boots and all this other stuff and a
video of him Trump anyways it was it was
a bunch of different things we talked
about but when I'm talking to uh the
stist I asked him the following question
I said I think there's two different
types of
presidents and he says what type I said
one is Alphas y Lincoln is the alpha
ulysis ESR is the flag carrier he became
a two-term president not a great
president but he was not an alpha okay
he needed Lincoln to be the flag carrier
too Ike Alpha Nixon he was a flag
carrier johnf Kennedy Alpha LBJ took him
out he became president allegedly you
got Reagan Alpha okay senior is a flag
carrier you got Obama Alpha Bill Clinton
Alpha those two are alphas Trump Alpha
George Bush the son flag carrier father
lineage Prescott
then you have Biden today he's a flag
carrier he his way of becoming a
president was Obama you're the greatest
you're the best you're this you're that
boom this is your opportunity for being
loyal to me now I will come work for you
you become the president right I asked
Governor descent is do you think you're
the alpha or a flag carrier okay now his
answer could be whatever he thinks it is
but the Market's going to determine
whether he's an alpha or he's a flag
carrier so what do you think he said
Alpha well technically he said I'm a
and by the way you may be an alpha in a
room of 50 you may be an alpha in a
company of a thousand you may be the
alpha in a company of 100,000 you may be
the alpha in a state of 30 million but
you may not be the alpha in a country of
340 million Alphas have levels and it
depends what level of an alpha you can
be and that's very tough to swallow for
everybody it's not for everybody and why
is that here's why you said something
very interesting you used a couple words
and you said you know two reasons
business all this stuff you know your
wife gets sick and you're going to an
appointment what do you do with
that there is no manual that says hey
when your wife gets cancer 19 steps on
what to do next there is no such thing
as that your your son just went through
this here's eight steps one there is no
manual for that in life and by the way
the people who went through those
situations like a I recommended this
book recently I've read the book 2008
when it first came out uh by the coach
of Indi Indianapolis CTS uh the book is
called quiet strength Tony dunie okay I
don't know if you know the story or not
he's
coaching the weekend of Super Bowl he's
about to win his first Super Bowl ever
okay his son dies at 23 years old oh
Jesus his son dies at 23 24 years
old there isn't a single person in the
world that's expecting this guy to be
there on Sunday to coach if he didn't
what would you and I say we wouldn't
judge him dude what are you talking
about totally get it this guy chooses to
show up to the game with a smile on his
face he says cuz I believe he's in a
better place he's with God right now I'm
at peace they win the game I got the
chills all over my body he writes this
book quiet strength Incredible Book I
remember I heard this guy speak gave a
talk when he came out
and go explain that to somebody and say
hey you should go coach nobody has the
per permission to tell anybody to go
coach that's the individual's level of
handling chaos pressure pain and
everyone's different in that there's not
a manual for that however where where
I'm going with this on the alpha side is
if you want to be the guy of the guys of
other
guys you can't go by the standard as
everybody else does for example um World
War II is taking place okay Chamberlain
is doing what he's doing UK
the most hated guy in that country is a
journalist who talks [ __ ] about
everybody okay who Chamberlain hates
disgusted by him very arrogant very
cocky pompous sometimes if Twitter was
around when Churchill was around he'd be
on Twitter all the time that kind of a
guy he had an opinion about everybody
and he was only 56 you know what
Chamberlin has to do he has to beg
Churchill to show up Churchill shows up
the only man that was able to face the
most feared man in the world was
Churchill Churchill maybe the reason why
we're doing this interview in English
and not in German today think about the
power of that however the chills this
guy Churchill that we're talking about
was hated but he was a wartime
leader when War took place everybody had
to call the person they hate the most
cuz they they knew they were not cut for
that job it's not for them so there's
the levels of alpha there's a levels of
success you want in life there's a
reason why Jordan said you know if you
don't want to play you know but I'm
going to win in the last St and he
starts crying you know you're like dude
I can see this guy's fire that's why
there's only one mic that's why we were
all glued to the screen for five weeks
on Sundays watching two episodes from 8
to 10:00 and we were all blown away by
how this guy was a wired but who got
pissed off afterwards Scotti Pippen and
then Scotty writes a book and in the
interview he's being asked Scotty how do
you want to be remembered and he's got a
smirk on his face he says I want to be
remembered as the greatest of all time
dude you're not a greatest of all time
you're top 50 see he forgot he was a
flag carrier and he wanted the respect
of this guy to have the respect of this
guy is not duplicatable that's a lot of
effort so for somebody watching this
again choose your enemies wisely but
it's business planning for the audacious
view not the timid majority it's not for
everybody this is for the audacious view
if you feel you're part of the audacious
View this book's for you if not it's not
for
everybody you can reboot your life your
health even your career anything you
want all you need is discipline I can
teach you the tactics that I learned
while growing a billion- Dollar business
that will allow you to see your goals
through if you want better health
stronger relationships a more successful
career any of that is possible with the
mindset and business programs in Impact
Theory University join the thousands of
students who have already accomplished
amazing things tap now for a free trial
and get get started
today this is admittedly meant to be
inflammatory but I care so much about
the answer to this that I like the
inflammatory nature of the following
question what should a real man be like
I believe there are a set of things that
I am perfectly comfortable laying out
saying this is what I think what should
a real man be like what are the
qualifications what should a real man be
like um
you know uh for me I had a man Monty he
would say something he would say you
know your house every 90 days you should
you know they should feel the fire but
not enough to burn a house down but
every 90 days your kids should see what
you're capable of okay where they're
like ooh I just saw that sight of Dad
okay and his reference was with your
people your you're working with with
your salese now today God forbid you say
this on half po they're going to say you
have mental issues okay you need to go
to therapy you need to go hire Jack
Nicholson to go through a real life of
anger management and you're Adam Sandler
and you know you have issues you have
you have anger issues but there there
needs to be a certain level of fear and
respect where a man imposes but you
don't have to use you know the reason
why they call it a great equalizer the
gun is because you knew I had it but
that doesn't mean I use it what's the
whole purpose of Jiu-Jitsu or martial
arts is for the other person to know
look bro you just don't want to fight
that's all there is to it I have no
desire to fight you but if we do fight
it's going to be very bad there's this
video on on uh uh Tik Tok and Instagram
that went viral and his father is
outside this guy's punking his daughter
every time he walks by he says bro
what's wrong with you what's the matter
with you and the guy's swinging he says
don't do this I don't want to do this to
you he starts swinging he said I'm
telling you I'm telling you again don't
do this I'm going to hurt you the last
time he does the dad picks him up drops
him to the ground drops him grabs his
hands doesn't punch him one time he said
how many times did I tell you don't do
this I know what I'm doing cops come
take him and go away
right the
marketplace should know what you're
capable of now to get to that point
takes a while when you're a kid when I
talk to my kids and we talk about the
values and principles we have where we
lead respect and proov love we don't get
bullied and we don't bully that's our
principles that we have um my son knows
the market today for him is the school
he goes to the school just needs to know
what you're capable of one time
marketing is going to do its part
everyone's going to talk to each other
you don't need to do it 50 times you
don't need to do it 100 times you need
to do it one time once they know the
other people are like you know what not
the biggest guy but I just don't want to
mess with that guy cuz he's annoying
he's going to keep fighting you leave
that guy alone let me pick on this guy
right and then that guy's job is to do
the same thing so from that perspective
um I think it's good to have a
reputation the
marketplace uh I think it's good to have
a reputation within your family where
your spouse feels protected by you when
we got married at our wedding at the end
of the wedding uh everybody's hammered
everybody's drunk and I got up to give a
speech I said I got a couple things I
want to talk to you guys about there 500
people at the winning I said one uh I
don't know how long we're going to be
married we're going to take you one year
out a time but if we take a one year at
a time maybe we'll make it I can tell
you guys all right now I think we can
make it for one year every year we've
taken a one year at a time we're at the
14th year we just crossed 14th year okay
two I said if you come to my wife at any
time without us telling you if my wife
is pregnant you will never see us again
it's none of your business you go
through me and you don't ask her that
question cuz you don't get to put that
kind of pressure under my wife and say
you guys are not getting pregnant are
you sick are you is it him is his thing
not working is your thing not working
don't ask me that question because
you'll never see us and I'm being I have
some levity while I'm saying this where
it's not like I'm being a drill sergeant
talking to everybody but it's a way of
manageing expectation where my wife
feels safe to know you know what we're
going to be okay I think if you ask that
from the man's standpoint there's an
element to it as a husband there's
element to it as a father there's an
element to it as a son to protect your
father there's an element to it as a
brother to make sure Nobody messes with
your siblings then there's an element to
it when you become a CO of a company to
know that you're a formidable guide that
people are not going to bully your
company and if they do you're going to
have their backs you're going to stand
up in politics eventually you get to a
point where if you become a
president fortunately one of the biggest
problems we' got in America right now is
those three components that I talked
about love fear respect love fear
respect if a father has all those threes
you're
Trifecta if if you if you are loved and
you know how to love if you know how to
impose the right amount of fear and if
you are respected you have to make sure
that that makes for the best cocktail of
parenting and leadership as a president
as a president if the enemy fears you if
the enemy respects you it doesn't matter
if they love you but if they fear and
respect you chaos are down we have a
president today unfortunately that's not
feared that's not respected and is not
loved what happens worldwide chaos when
you have leaders at the time at the top
leading the way as the number one alpha
and there's not fear respect and
love catastrophic situation you're in
and that happens in marriages companies
parenting parenting as well as
countries that to me is the important
button so the reason that I think that
this all matters the reason I think that
men ought and I use the word ought on
purpose I think you and I actually
Define ought differently to me it it is
the moral standard so when I say A man
ought to do something I believe he has a
moral obligation to do that so so men
ought to be strong now my favorite
definition uh which was really close to
something you were saying um is Jordan
Peterson's definition of the meek he
said he was reading all this biblical
scholarship obviously in the Bible it
says the meek shall inherit the earth
and he was like this doesn't make sense
if you read Meek as weak he was like
there's no way weak people will never
inherit the earth and he just knows that
the Dynamics of Power are such that the
powerful are always going to rule
there's quote I forget who said it but
the powerful will do as they will the
weak will suffer as they must and that
is the natural Order of Things Society
is designed to keep that from being the
thing but certainly in a natural
environment the lion is going to eat the
gazelle because the Gail simply can't
stop it from doing it uh so when you get
in an environment and you remove some of
the niceties of civilization such as you
know when we're recording this there is
multiple one outright War another one
that's certainly threatening to become
an outright war and you begin to realize
very quickly that to your point a lot of
the the posturing matters how people
perceive the other people matters a lot
it's a big part of the equation so
Peterson's thing he's looking at this
he's like the the meek are never going
to inherit the earth people have to
believe that you're strong and he said
he found an ancient Greek reading of the
word meek and it meant effectively
uh somebody who is strong enough to use
a sword but they keep it
sheathed and that to me is brilliant you
want to get so good at defending
yourself intellectually physically
emotionally whatever the moment calls
for that you can stay calm navigate the
situation well because you know the
power is there if you need it there's a
an idea with animals called nervous
aggressive when people say that somebody
has a loud bark but no bite that that's
nervous aggressive they don't actually
think they can win in the fight and so
they try to throw up the smoke screen of
making all this noise uh Jay-Z has a
line something like uh they talk as loud
as a motorbike but wouldn't bust a grape
in a fruit fight um food fight probably
uh anyway you get the idea so that makes
a lot of sense to me that the real power
is because it's not enough just to be
strong it's not enough to be violent you
really do have to be able to calculate
it I saw the interview with Jared
Kushner on Lex fredman and Kushner said
um that Trump always liked to leave
people with a 10% chance that he might
nuke them which is horrible I say it
with a smirk because I get the
Showmanship of it but there is something
to the unpredictability the know the
belief that that person is dangerous and
that it is merely strategy that keeps
them in check there is something to that
and at at that level to pretend that
that isn't real is to set yourself up
for disaster in fact I'd like to
introduce my favorite Thomas Soul quote
which my audience will have heard me say
a gazillion times the last 50
years have been marked by exchanging
what worked for what sounds good and
that feels like a lot of the policies a
lot of the ways that we talk about young
men toxic masculinity all of that is it
sounds nice it would be nice if we lived
in a world where everybody could just be
kind and gentle but we don't and so you
wear thin the armor of civilization when
you teach men to be
weak you know how in families there's
typically the one person everybody fears
and respects when they die there's chaos
and all of a sudden you know one person
is taking advantage of this person or
that person my my mother her her family
had some money the moment her parents
died uh one of her uh uh uh family
members took over all the money and he
abused everybody else he say you're not
going to get it I have it now but when
Mom and Dad were alive he couldn't do
that the moment they died he bullied
everybody from the money that he got
that money was supposed to go to a few
people he took it all and he gave crumbs
to people and he became that dictator
you're lucky I'm giving you this kind of
money no no that was their money but
because the parents didn't put anything
on paper he stole it from everybody and
he could do that what's the moral of the
story when when that
Alpha when that leader is not present
bullies show up you know so so for us
again like this is a very chaotic time I
don't know when this is going to be
released you know whether it's one war
or the other war or this or that um
we're we're one or two people away of
being offended of World War II getting
started you know you got 16 million to
18 million people died World War I you
know 60 million on two third one if we
go at this trajectory could be 200
million J the the job that we have
collectively is to try to do whatever we
can to turn down the temperature not
increase it you know if if you and your
wife get into an argument and you call
me and you say you won't believe what
she said my job isn't to say she said
that Tom oh dude if she would have said
that to me it's done are you kidding me
doesn't she realize how amazing you are
how lucky she is to have you instead is
to say Tom come on bro she loves you and
you know you love her she's partly right
bro I'm G to take her side how could you
say something like that you're not on my
side you're on her side probably on this
one am but I'm telling you privately I'd
go back and try to make this work screw
you Pat totally get it bro let me know
if you want to talk later you get off
the phone I have a job and it's called
Doug diffuse unify and be the glue we
don't have a lot of Dougs around the
world today we have division today we
have divisiveness today so but if
there's that one strong personality
leader of the Free World a Churchill a
Reagan a person you don't want to mess
with the world is typically a safe place
yeah that is um it it is maybe a
balanced place where the level of danger
that is always ready to pop off is
currently held at Bay um but I think the
the reason that that Cycle Works where
strong men make good times good times
make weak men so on and so forth works
is because when things are good the seed
of its own instability is present
because of that Loop and I don't know
that there's any way to escape it it's
one of the things that makes so
predictable I agree now Church Hill is a
fascinating character in fact this will
be fun because I never get anybody that
can talk about Church Hill I absolutely
am just blown away by Churchill and you
can say what you want and did he have
his flaws of course he did but but this
is a guy that felt he had let his
country down in a uh
military this is World War I uh he makes
a mistake leading the Navy and he says
okay I know exactly how to come back
from this I'm going to even though he
could have just gone back to England he
says no put me on the front line and so
he goes to the front line and he said
other people didn't want to walk with
him on the night patrols because he
would just talk out loud and they're
like bro we're going to get shot like
what are you doing
and he he uh said to his mother I have
such a need to earn a reputation for
physical courage that I'll basically do
anything and so he stays in the front
line multiple times narrow narrowly
escapes getting killed sees countless
people die around him and said to
himself okay now after I forget how long
but it was a long time again all
voluntary uh he's like now I've earned
my way back to Parliament and he goes
goes back to England and re-engages in
government life and I just thought whoa
like I'm not even saying I could do it
but I am saying I admire it and I'm
saying that men ought to have that kind
of courage and that to me we've had 70
years where we really on our own soil
where we have not had to face um
violence and danger I'm not taking
anything away from the men and women
that have served um overseas obviously
but there's something that still let our
country's psyche be lulled into the
sense that we don't need men standing on
the wall protecting us and that worries
me military meaning we don't need a
military yeah basically I mean so uh I
was quoting the uh line from A Few Good
Men where he's like men like me and the
thing is I hope what we were supposed to
take away from that is that he's a
complicated character and yes some of
the things he did were just despicable
but he's also right and that's what
keeps him from being a caricature is you
you are asking people to risk being shot
you're asking them to kill other people
I mean it it is horrific horrific
and there
is there is an evolutionary seed inside
certainly inside the male brain that
makes that very possible you know if if
there's anything like any man that wants
to earn forget about you know should I
go become rich should I go have a
six-pack should I be in shape should I
do this if you pursue anything if you
earn moral
Authority you you're going to have a lot
of
self-respect you'll have self-respect in
a way you lead your wife and your kids
you'll have self-respect in the
companies you lead and you'll have
self-respect in a community does this
mean you're going to be a billionaire
not necessarily does it mean you're
going to be a millionaire not
necessarily
but if you earn the right and you have
that moral Authority there's something
to earning that that takes years that
doesn't happen overnight when you're
telling the story with Churchill there's
something to it there's something to you
know a guy setting the pace from the
front there's something to earning the
right you know there's something to this
is why for me with the voting system
that we have I think our voting system
is totally screwed up in America couple
areas of it I'm not a fan of it because
for me I I would much rather have a
16-year-old kid who has a job working at
McDonald's who made 20 grand last year
and paid $3,000 in taxes I want him to
vote over the 25y old bum living with
his mom and dad not going to school not
getting a degree not doing anything for
him to vote I don't want this guy to
vote I want to hear from this 16y old
kid let this guy vote our system is too
much of yeah here you go yeah here you
go now earn the right to vote why don't
you earn the right to vote well just by
being a an American don't I earned the
right to votee I totally get it but you
got to have some you know pull your
little red wagon how are you going to
contribute to society well that you're
discriminating against dude I'm from
Iran I was born in Iran half Armenian
half ayrian I'm a 1.8 GPA kid I'm a
welfare kid I'm not a kid that came up
here was going to be something but I
wanted to come back and earn the right
to say hey I want to earn this respect
that America gave to me I want to go do
my part I think we have to go more
towards that in our house our kids you
you know everybody's talking right now
about having a phone I don't know how
many articles I've read that the more
you delay your kids getting a phone the
more happier they're going to be by the
way parents if you're watching this do
yourself a favor and go watch the movie
disconnect disconnect I I don't have a
phone to see who's the actor but one of
the guys is the I don't know if you've
seen this movie or not disconnect is
baitman what's his name is it Jason
baitman is that his first name certainly
is so the guy is that from Horrible
Bosses okay so that guy this movie
disconnect is a story about a boy who 12
13 14 year old kid goes to school
there's a girl he likes these two
bullies knows he likes the girl they
create a Facebook profile with the
girl's picture befriend everybody in
high school thinking that's the girl but
it's not she DMS him on Facebook in the
movie this is 11 years ago 2012 and says
hey please don't tell anybody but I
really like you I'm shy I don't want to
tell others but I like the way you're oh
my god I've Loved You D and they're
going back and forth she says I'll show
you mine if I if you show me yours but
it's the two boys so the boy send a
picture of somebody else they got from a
porn side he opens it so he sends it and
then she says but I want to see your
face in it as well so he does the next
day he goes to school everybody's
laughing at him because those two
bullies took the picture spread it
around the school then the boy runs away
comes home is in his room listening to
heavy metal music is trying to hang
himself daughter sister walks in
prevents it from happening and saves his
life and then had to figure out how this
happened because the parents weren't
involved there's so many different
things going right now in society that
we we have to we have to be aware of
people earning stuff phones are
dangerous today that you know kids are
picking up on what can happen to them if
you do you have to educate them if you
do you have to hold them account if you
do you have to watch and see what's
going on but in our family um everything
starts with earning uh the currency in
our house I've talked about this God
knows how many times is reading you read
you earn the right the more you read the
more you can ask for if your grades are
solid you get to ask for more if it's
not you don't and people say Pat how
could you have standards like that when
you had a 1 Point GPA what does that
have to do with anything I didn't have
those standards I simply grew up in a
house that nobody cared what my grades
were there there was never an
expectation of me doing anything my
grade so guess what I'm going to rise up
to the standards of whatever whatever it
is as a 14 15 16y old there was no
standards so I was left alone in our
house there is standards there is
expectations you got to perform to it
you do you get more so America started
off as
earning we got away from that because
earn is now another one of these curse
words that people don't like to talk
about how could you say something like
that how could you say something like
that all you care about is money all you
care about is this no man I cared about
you being proud of the contribution
you're making to society because the
more proud you are of the contribution
you're making to society the safer the
place is going to be the less you
contribute to society the more bitter
you're going to be feeling like
everybody owes you something and then
you could do something very bad to
everybody else so yes I think we need to
go back to earning like when you're
telling the story of Churchill to have
that moral Authority it's very
interesting to me there's something
super telling in the fact that people
ask you well whoa whoa whoa how can you
ask them to keep their grades up when
you didn't keep your grades up cuz that
reveals their value system now I have a
feeling that they value system they've
never taken the time to lay it out and I
think one of the biggest problems when I
think about okay what's ailing men how
do we get them back on track it's what
is your value system what do you how do
you believe a man ought to be write it
out then at least we have something that
we can actually talk about when somebody
says how can you do that you didn't have
good grades what they're going for I
assume is fairness the second your
primary focus is on fairness now we have
a problem so the reality is of course
life isn't fair and I don't mean that in
any sort of cheeky way it's just if
you're trying to optimize for fairness
you're setting people up to try to say
uh the game is always going to be
controlled go out there you're going to
be fine and then they're going to get
into a fight and I don't mean a literal
fight but they're going to get into a
fight for their business a fight for a
promotion whatever and it isn't going to
play out fairly and if in that moment
they're emotionally devastated because
they've been taught that everything
revolves around fairness they're going
to be in trouble if on the other hand we
and this is very specifically what Tom
bil you wants people optimizing for
what is effective so you have to have a
goal you have to know what your goal is
what am I aiming at and then you're
going to judge everything by whether or
not it's effective did it actually get
me towards my goal now I'm going to
assume that your goal is Honorable if
it's not then we already have a problem
but assuming that your goal is Honorable
now you can just is believing this doing
this whatever is it going to move me
towards my goal if yes I'm going to do
it if not then I'm not do you know
Jeffrey Canada oh Jesus I've got to meet
somebody that can help me get this guy
on the show I've been trying and trying
and trying and I have no idea that he
will agree with me on anything
however he has created the most
effective school for kids so he uh he
will go into an underserved area and in
the same building that the school is
already being run at and they're
delivering kids that are like three
years Below in reading and graduating
levels just absolutely atrocious he'll
go into the same building with the same
kids ran randomly select students so
it's not even like a merit based
anything randomly select students and
then put them into a merit based school
system and now it's like are you
following our discipline rules are you
doing your homework are you getting your
grades like all of that and if you do
you stay and if you don't you're out
dude the outcome by being regimented by
being disciplined by saying you are
going to live up to these standards and
of course I'm sure they do it in a way
that gets the kids [ __ ] excited the
kids aren't like oh man like I have to
pay ention it's like hey if you learn
this stuff you can control your life you
can get out of this neighborhood you can
go on to do whatever the hell you want
and that kind of because again I I need
to interview this guy to make sure my
breakdown can Jeffrey Canada to make
sure my understanding of what he's done
is accurate but from what I can tell a
big part of what he's doing is Sid
stepping the um the unions and so if
he's got a bad teacher bye like you have
to be good you have to be performant and
so they just churn out graduates at like
an insane rate it it's startling and
remember these are the same kids that
before they got moved in were failing
just abject failures they do it in the
same building it's absolutely bananas
and that to me says especially at that
age structure discipline the right value
set and helping people tap
into um I I have no reason to believe he
would use these words these are now my
words and my interpretation of this that
when you can show somebody how to
generate ferocity in a controlled manner
oo now you've got something now you've
got something but most people can't find
that
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