Kind: captions
Language: en
the reasonable man conforms to the world
the Unreasonable Man bends the world to
his will therefore all progress depends
on the unreasonable man my favorite
quotes oh my God it's so good and I'm
always telling people on my team like
because people often look at me and say
like you're being unreasonable yes but
like literally we all limit our we don't
even try because we think something is
impossible and therefore you guarantee
that it is it is literally shocking how
much farther you can go you my wife and
I call it no [ __ ] what would it take
just like in you you put yourself in
problem solving mode rather than problem
finding mode which most people live
there and you're just like okay there is
a solution it might not be something I'm
willing to do but there is a solution
and when you get into that mode and then
actually have the willingness to keep
going it's freakish what you can
accomplish but most people just never
let themselves be that aggressive yeah I
think I have a philosophy I teach
everybody on all my teams I have 105
companies now it's mindboggling and all
these radically different Industries are
now doing almost $7 billion dollar in
business I had no business background
but it's a certain core philosophy that
allows you to grow anything and but it
starts with the people themselves and my
whole thing is one choice is no choice
two choices the dma there's always three
choices like you said I may not like the
choice but it's there but more
importantly I think it's getting people
to see that what they thought was
possible Impossible Is Possible the more
you can give people an experience like
like Talk's cheap but I've done enough
things in my life with enough people at
this stage I've got a track record where
it's like I said it's going to happen
most people say he's probably true it's
probably likely he's going to pull it
off maybe I should jump on board but the
the mindset has to be destroy any
limitation and move forward move forward
move forward there is a way move forward
and I think uh if you watch this it's
like taking off on a plane from you know
I'm in Texas right now if I flew from
Dallas here to go to Hawaii you're of
course about 90% of the time I'm a pilot
what if every time off course oh my God
I'm off course oh I should freak out oh
my God I'm off course again but you know
you just tack back and forth and you
land exactly where you want to be 3 four
5,000 miles you know away and I think
that's how we have to navigate but most
of us and especially during these Co
times most of us have been conditioned
not to take a risk people ask me all the
time what does it take to be happy and I
always tell them it's really simple one
word
progress progress equals happiness if
you keep grow
you're going to feel alive and if you
keep growing you're going to have more
to give and when you're growing and
giving is when life is magnificent it
doesn't matter how many statues Oscars
they give you or emys or how much money
you have in the bank we've all seen
people had all those things and I get
the phone call because they're depressed
or somebody commits suicide in that area
so it's really an inner game and I think
that's what's missing for us today
everybody's focusing on the outside
world and Hell there's a lot of things
in the outside world you'll never be
able to control you can influence
but you can't control it this your mind
your emotions your body you have 100%
control over what you do with these
things and that's where the game is won
you win the inner game then you win the
outer game but a lot of people spent
their life trying to win the outer game
they won and they're miserable so to me
success without fulfillment is the
ultimate failure and so many people are
focused on success F which to me is like
there's nothing wrong with it but it's
like success is getting what you want
fulfillment is living What You're Made
For You know and it's like fulfillment
and success they're not even in the same
universe there's nothing wrong with
going for success but you you really got
to figure out what you're made for and
nobody knows in the beginning so you
start where you are and you do what's in
front of you do what's next and you keep
growing until you start to discover hey
this is my real passion this is my real
hunger and drive and it can change
people go for five six seven years and
then they usually question their
business their career their their body
their relationships and then one of two
things happens they change Direction and
feel renewed or they go no I got a great
deal here what the hell's wrong with me
and they recommit and they get stronger
but that's life and if you don't grow I
don't give a damn how much you got going
for you're going to be miserable no man
I totally agree that's something that I
heard from you many years ago that I've
repeated so many times it's so true I
think the way that I first heard you say
it is progress is a foundational pillar
of human happiness I was like damn like
that's so true that idea of it just
really sits at the foundation I want to
give you a Tony Robbins quote uh and
this is something going back to
something you were just saying that I I
agree with uh incredibly well or or very
much which is uh people have become
hypnotized by a culture of weakness and
I was like damn like Tony's calling us
out here uh I agree with that what what
is going on and how do we shake out of
it well if you're a student of history
there is a cycle of history that is
plain as day good times create weak
people weak people create bad times bad
times create strong people strong people
create great times this is the cycle of
History thousand years of Roman history
there's a great book I recommend anyone
read I read it in 1997 it's not a
beautiful read but you need to
understand it it's called the fourth
turning or you could read the book
Generations but it's about 700 Pages 800
Pages uh you know Bill gave me that book
and that's where I started and it
explains how our thinking our process is
so affected by the way we're raised
generationally the experiences we go
through so let me give you an example of
why we're having challenges today and
why I'm more than
hopeful let's say you were born in 1910
now think of it this way first remember
I talked about pattern recognition
pattern utilization pattern creation
what gave Humanity its greatest jump and
its capacity was pattern recognition
around seasons
up until that time we were hunter
gatherers barely able to survive it all
depend on what was happening in the
environment we dependent on the outside
world but once we understood the seasons
that planting in the springtime and then
taking care of through the summer boy in
the fall you can reap and then there's
going to be winter and you got to hang
on to this stuff so you can survive once
we recognize that pattern Humanity
transformed communities were created
eventually cities and countries and
states right so think of it this way
there's also a pattern of your history
as human
0 to 21 19 to 2021 is a springtime where
everything's easy it's easy to grow
growth happens you don't have to do
squat your body grows life grows and
some of us had a more protected
childhood some of us had no protection
we had to step up and take care of
things when we're seven or eight years
old but regardless overall it's a time
in which people look out for you you're
taught things you consume what you're
taught but once you come 19 20 21
roughly and sometimes it's 16 for some
people 25 Brothers but you get the
picture you enter a new season of life
you go to the summertime where you start
testing and go well this is what I was
taught but do I really believe this [ __ ]
you know this is what people say but now
I'm in a relationship you know and so
all of this this next 20 years is an
explosive growth period if you work at
it from 21 to 41 from 42 to 62 is a
reaping time if you planted really in
the spring and you pushed hard through
the summer you're going to weep now if
you didn't plant in the springtime
you're going to weep in this season you
know you're going to be like I don't
have any money I don't have any time I
don't what to do where am I going but
that's a season of power that's when you
really start to be able to lead
companies businesses environments and so
forth and again some people get there
earlier some later but it overall
generationally that's it and then 63 to
83 is winter and that winter time is a
little different for somebody right now
that time is maybe it's time I'm an
elder in the community now it's time for
me to mentor to communicate and if
you're lucky it goes 83 to say 103 or
the oldest living human's about 119 if
you were lucky enough to do that maybe
you get an extended period of time where
you enter the next Springtime so there's
Seasons that you got to understand
because if you plant in the winter I
don't care how hard you work you get no
reward if you bought a house sounds
wonderful in 2007 normally great 2007
probably not so great you're probably
just starting to do okay in the last
three or four years right so there's a
timing to things there's a timing in
your life there's also a timing in
history so imagine you're born in
1910 when would you come of age 19 years
old
1929 what did you grow up with World War
I ended during that time the whole world
celebrated and the Roaring 20s began and
you're and your teens cars radios
parties you can't wait to turn 19 2021
right and what happens for that
generation right at that stage of Life
the whole game the The Wolves pull out
from it people are jumping out of
buildings the economy goes to the floor
we got the Dust Bowl but it didn't end
there because what happened when they
were 29
1939 World War II and you and I are too
young to know it but those around know
that it looked like we were going to
lose Hitler was storming across Europe
it looked like Life as We Know was over
and these people went overseas and
became Heroes they face such unbel they
were they were thought as Flappers they
were thought as weak they were thought
like a lot of the generation that you
see today you know the you know Z
generation not so much because they're
just coming up right but the millennial
generation my older people they see them
as weak you know they're snowflakes
they're this and they're that but they
have technology they have insights and
when the outside world is demanding
enough not yet because they're still
fearful they will grow and that's when
things change and so the season occurs
so think about the difference between
the 30s and the 40s versus the
50s versus the 60s as we came after 63
into an American Summer as a different
mindset versus the 80s to the 2000 20110
so we're right now halfway through
winter we're in another winter it starts
financially now it's gone to health but
we're far from it it's going to be war
and it might be cyber War it might be
fullon War but there's zero question
that China CH and the US are in a
collision course that's going to shape
the direction of humanity and so the
people that right now are alive today
are going to have to grow in that
environment I really think we're at a
season where there's going to be a whole
new level of growth and what I just want
to do is be one of the many sources that
can give people perspective because
here's the problem a year ago people
thought we were coming out of you know
we got vaccines now and we're coming out
of covid and it's going to be all over
now people are excited but now after
going through two years of this there's
a lot of people now that no longer have
a compelling future like you know people
talking about New Year's resolutions
most people don't even have one because
it's like they never followed through
anyway right but at least they had
something to look forward to they're
starting to get into learned
helplessness learned helplessness is
when something is so bad over and over
again you start thinking the problem's
permanent no problem is permanent or you
start thinking the problem's pervasive
because I haven't handled my finances my
whole world's over or because my
relationship's bad my whole world's over
your life is bigger than that or all
this is happening because there's
something wrong with me when you get to
that point you stop trying and so my
goal right now is to shake that up for
people people need a new perspective and
you can't do it by just sitting and
thinking you've got to move your body
you got to change your energy and your
focus cuz low level of energy I don't
Dam how smart you are you're not going
to use all your ability but if I get you
into a higher state of being mentally
emotionally physically and all of a
sudden you start remembering who you are
and you start coming up with an anwers
that you never even thought were
possible before the idea of remembering
who you are is something incredibly
powerful there was a uh Batman cartoon
where he gets amnesia and he gets put in
like a a camp basically a Work Camp and
he can't get out and then one day and he
feels stuck and weak and you know afraid
and then he something happens I don't
remember what triggers his memory and he
remembers that he's Batman and all the
sudden just in remembering that he's
Batman he then takes the actions to
fight his way out look I know it's a
cartoon but that has always resonated
with me and whenever I'm feeling anxious
about somebody something I always tell
myself remember who you are and there
there's so much power even though I know
that it's BS because I am also the guy
that's afraid but there's something
called being human but you're really
talking about the most important Concept
in lasting change
identity we all Define our our elv in
certain ways and most of us defined
ourselves years ago and we haven't done
an update and now you're in an
environment where you're constantly told
how bad it is how terrible it is so that
stimulates the old part of the human
brain the fight ORF flight mechanism the
part of your brain that's always looking
for what's wrong so you can hide from it
you know or you can fight it or you can
freeze and hope it doesn't notice or you
can run from it and so that part of her
brain is never going to make you happy
it's an important part there's no saber
2 tiger for us to run from anymore or
fight right not for most people but now
we get that about what are people saying
about me online or you know or do I have
enough money in a country that even if
you have very little money in America
even if you're in quote unquote a poor
environment you know I I support I
provide a 100 million meals a year I'm
almost a billion meals now I'm at 825
million meals to give you an idea in the
last seven years so I'm in helping
everyone I possibly can but you got to
help them here and here too you know so
I use the food as the excuse to get into
here and here and start showing people
what's POS possible and I think we're in
a place right now where a lot of people
are in this learned helplessness and
they don't realize you know if you if if
as an identity if identity is how you've
identified yourself and you see yourself
as a
procrastinator why because you
procrastinate so many times and
disappointed you don't want to be
disappointed so now you're a
procrastinator you're no longer
disappointed you feel certain you'll
never have your goals but you feel
certain that's what most people do in
their life but if you set let's say a
thermostat in this room at 78 degrees
and a temperature drops far enough
something's going to happen because the
computer's going to go hey hey hey
you're a 78 degre or what are you doing
here at 68 and the heaters kick on and
suddenly you get this drive I'm sure
your listeners or viewers have had this
experience many times in life we finally
it's not another day I'm changing this
relationship I'm losing this waight I'm
going to finally do something and then
you push push push now some people push
push push and they go beyond their
comfort zone beyond what they expect not
their goals it's what they're used to
it's their comfort zone and let's say
that's 68° is where they're used to
financially it's not what they want or
their relationship or spiritually or
physically and they grow to 88 98 99
degrees suddenly the brain goes hey hey
what are you doing here you're you know
you're you're not a 99 degre and then
all of a sudden the heater stop and you
lose your drive and if that's not about
the air conditioners kick on and you
start to sabotage and you go what
happened to my life so identity is the
number one thing I work to change with
people to expand it not to get rid of it
but expand your own sense of who you
really are and what you're capable of
and people think they're going to get
identity by people say to me I have no
self-esteem I hate that word so overused
and abused I don't have my self-esteem
because when I was growing up my parents
said these terrible things and those
terrible things and I said isn't it
convenient you only remembered those
things you know they said a million
things but suddenly you've HED in on
those but let's get real someone can
tell your whole life you're a piece of
crap and you can say screw you read
between the lines and make your life
work someone tell your whole life you're
beautiful you're intelligent you're the
smartest person in the world and you
don't believe it because self-esteem
doesn't come from what people say about
you self-esteem is earned within
yourself it's esteem for yourself which
only comes by doing things that are
incredibly difficult and then your brain
goes this is who I am the reason I've
done firewalks for years I used to do
skydiving but you know it's hard to get
30,000 people in the middle of the air
above New York middle of the night but
the reason I did these metaphors was
because when someone does something they
once thought was difficult or impossible
and you get the other side in the brain
goes if I get myself to do this what
else can I get myself to do it changes
their identity when your identity
expands your whole world expands dude
firew walking at your event was crazy it
was really cool because I had always
said to my wife I would walk across fire
for you and so at the event at the event
it is like you are trying to [ __ ] with
people you are like you spend hours
warning about like how wrong it could go
you have to be so careful and so I was
like okay wait is he trying to freak me
out so this is like a bigger deal and
then as you're walking up to it you feel
the heat and you're like oh [ __ ] like
these are actually hot and people start
peeling out of line right they just
can't bring themselves to do it and I'm
like look I may end up with charred
stumps for feet but I told my wife I
would walk across fire for her I'm
walking across this [ __ ] fire it was
really meaningful like as one of those
things and you know and I get it and you
guys try to make it as safe as possible
but it really meant something to me to
to say like I told her I would do this
I'm doing this and then you do it it was
dope I you know you see people who go
there go I'm not going to do this no
matter what I'm just coming for the
seminar and other people think I'm going
to do this and they get out there and
freak out like you said they peel off
but you were there by the end you about
99% of people do it we don't force
anybody or push them to do it but you go
through so many changes in here it's
like that's what we need today we need
to re-engineer ourselves if you've ever
seen one of these Baja races you know
thousand miles in the desert or you know
there's a million different races that
if you took a normal car you'd be out of
it and probably die in the first day or
so but what they've done is
re-engineered the shock absorbers the
size of the tires the engine system and
we need to reengineer ourselves for
winter we need to re-engineer ourselves
so that we can Thrive not just survive
during this time and that's what I'm
seeing people do in their life and their
businesses I mean it's it's been really
I know it sounds crazy but it's been one
of the more beautiful times I hate the
fear that's been generated in so many
people unduly I mean this CDC themselves
I wrote this in my book there's a
section in my health book and I quote
directly from the CDC what's the number
one risk factor other than age 80% of
people die of covid
79.8% are overweight and obese extremely
overweight something you can easily do
something about nobody talks about and
number two is fear because the anxiety
makes people change their breath they
can't fully oxygenate so it's like
there's a lot within our control if we
just wake up but the beautiful part of
Co is a lot of people waking up to
what's possible seeing where it is
seeing how they could change their
entire business because when things
happen and they're going to be unjust
things it doesn't matter the color of
your skin it doesn't matter your age
doesn't matter what country you're from
Injustice is everywhere it's going to
happen to all of us at various times
right or it may not just injustice just
like wow you got cancer I mean it's like
you know what I do to deserve this it
isn't like that it's not something you
earn by brownie points it's like okay
what am I going to do with what life has
brought me and my greatest growth that's
helped me help so many other people is
because you know someone tells me I got
a tumor in my brain and I'm going to die
and I'm like I don't accept that right I
got a ton rotator cuff and there's you
know you're going to have to go through
six months a Rea I'm not going to accept
that there's got to be another way you
know and so and and the things you can
control you learn learn how to accept
and learn from you know and so I think
Co has off offered that opportunity I'm
reaching more people because of it I'm
touching more lives I'm having impact I
you know my wife and I have tried to
have a child for quite many years I have
five grandkids and I have four kids now
five but I have a 9-month old now I have
a 48y old daughter and a 9month old
daughter to give you an
IDE that's incredible man that's the
gift of Co because I was home we can say
let's give it another shot there you go
uh I want to hit you with another Tony
Robbins quote and um this one I think
sums up what you're saying here uh you
cannot fear change and do everything the
way it's always been
done and so fear you talk a lot about
but man I have people in my life that
are older than me and many of them they
are calcifying as they get older and I
watch what really served them well in
their 20s and 30s and I may have um
discussed this with you before but I'm
haunted by a quote that genius is a
young man's game and as a late bloomer
that never sat well with me but when you
look at people that win Nobel prizes
it's almost always for work that they do
in their early 30s they get awarded in
their 60s but they did the work in their
30s
and seeing how you're going after like
Cutting Edge stuff um I know one of the
companies I think you sold it to Apple
uh in the arvr space if I remember
correctly um I've heard you talking
about Bitcoin for years now uh I know
you know about nfts like it's how are
you so able to embrace change and how
the hell do you stay this enthusiastic
in a world that changes this fast as you
get older why are you not like so many
people are crippled by that they just
want things to stay the same I think as
early on I realized you know one of the
things you have to understand about life
is everything changes and everything
ends and that kind of sounds heavy on
the front end but it's a truth if
everything changes and everything ends
number one it should make you appreciate
what you have right now and then my view
is what's next is always better if I
make it so it's my job to make it so and
so I think you know for me I look at it
and say you know when you said uh genius
is a young man's game I think that's
total [ __ ] um I think passion is the
Genesis of Genius if you've got enough
passion you're going to find answers
nobody else does but most people run out
of fuel meaning they get tired they get
exhausted they get burned out they get
uh you know the law of familiarity
they're around something so much they
take it a little bit for granted
and I've managed to see something in
myself that I found in every great
leader that I've ever respected and that
is I I I value intelligence immensely
but I know really smart people can't
fight their way out of a paper bag
pragmatically right I'm sure you do too
what I see is the one common denominator
of people that are successful over a
lifetime is the sustained hunger Hunger
is the number one factor when I see
somebody I don't give about age they are
I don't care what their background is if
they're hungry to improve to change to
make something happen I mean if you look
at Richard Branson he's as hungry today
in his late 60s as he was at 16 years
old and that CP starting virgin if your
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legendary you know you look my buddy
Mark benof you know he's like he's I
think in his early 50s right now Mark is
more hungry today than when I knew him
12 14 15 years ago when he was first
coming up with the idea I'm going to you
he went to one of my seminars over and
over again the upw you know which one he
went there like four or five times and
he was sitting in the front row he's a
tall guy introduced himself and said
you've convinced me I'm going to leave
this company I work for as an employee
here and I'm going to go start this new
company called
salesforce.com wow and he says Tony
we're going to do $100 million in
business we're going to change business
now he's doing whatever 30 billion right
now it's but it's because he hasn't lost
the hunger and I think the law
familiarity is what destroys a
relationship you get around somebody
enough you love them and but you don't
have the same passion same aliveness and
I'm just not willing to settle for a
life without passion and aliveness
that's just like there's so much to
learn there's so much to grow there's so
much to give and I'm I'm wired to grow
and give and I I I think anybody who
gets wired to grow and give is going to
have a really fulfilling life it doesn't
matter what you choose to do you're
going to be alive because you're going
to make progress and because you made
progress you have something to give and
we all like some people think they just
want to get but you get get get get and
it's pretty damn boring and it doesn't
really expand sense of identity of who
you are but if you're constantly growing
and then taking what you learn you're so
excited about it you share with other
people and their life gets better
whether that be software you make or
dresses you design or you know something
you do in the health space that really
gets people to enjoy their food while
they're eating well if you have those
passions and you keep growing there's no
limit it doesn't matter what happens in
the short term with a pandemic or with a
drop in the economy or whatever the case
may be these are all temporary when you
realize life has lived in decades not in
days I've seen people in your own
seminars that have been through things
that are so traumatic it's almost hard
to believe that a human can put another
human through something like that but
they do how does somebody like that who
is going to have a very hardwired sense
of their own identity of that they are
broken in some fundamental way that
there's no way beyond that identity and
that's creating what I call a frame of
reference
so it's the Distortion you were talking
earlier about we distort things it's
creating that distorted fun house mirror
that they're viewing their world through
how do you because I know somebody uh
that's been through something like that
when they hear all this it just sounds
too fasile it's it's too easy you're
just making it sound so simple yeah
what's the process for overcoming that
trauma well first people get vested in
their trauma people get vested in their
pain if you want to know the largest
drug on the planet it's not cocaine it's
not heroin uh it's not pot it's not you
know some prescription drug the biggest
you know drug on the planet is problems
because everyone has a deep fear
everyone and the deepest fears we have
are two one is that we're not enough
we're not smart enough young enough Rich
enough pretty enough funny enough
something enough and if we're not enough
it DS the deepest fear we have which is
we won't be loved and love is the oxygen
the soul so you know a baby is if
they're not physically kinesthetically
love they develop what's called failure
to thrive syndrome that's how desperate
our nervous system is for love so human
beings when they think oh my God if I
fail at this it'll look like I'm not
enough and I won't be worthy of Love
they tend to come up with a reason why
that's either not their fault it's
something that was done to me I've got
ADHD I was born with it I was raped I
was whatever and they might even tell
the truth someone may have really raped
it's a horrible situation but other
people raped and they've gotten through
it and they're on the other side of it
this person hasn't because it becomes
their reason for not being where they
want to be in their life and so the
bottom line is a mother can lose her
daughter or son through a drunk driver
and spend the rest of their life in pain
and another one creates mad Mothers
Against Drunk drivers and does something
about it and feels a sense of freedom
and a sense of serving that child and a
sense of higher purpose in what they're
doing so it's not the problem it's not
the trauma it's finding what they value
more than their problem and and everyone
has a place
where there's something that value more
than their trauma some people GA their
trauma because they realize I've been so
traumatized loss of this child that my
other child feels completely unloved and
they they realize I'm losing that love
I'm losing that child if I don't get my
[ __ ] together right they need a higher
level of what's called Leverage Leverage
is what makes change a must not a should
as long as it's a should you'll have
your story and your story could be a
true story and you'll tell your story
and share your story with yourself or
other people or both and you stay stuck
but trauma is you know it is not it's a
bruise it's not a tattoo right and
Bruise can be healed but not unless
you're vested in healing it and what a
lot of people do I I remember when I was
diagnosed with a tumor in my brain I've
seen this happen so much that I didn't
tell anyone I didn't even tell my spouse
at the time the first day I was trying
to process it because I didn't want
people start treating me differently and
so the only person who knew for the
first day or two was my assistant
because she had talked to the doctor so
before I'd even be able to tell my
spouse at the time all of a sudden you
know everyone treated me like I was
indestructible I taught people to do
that like cuz I want to help everybody
so there was no no it's like I'll do
whatever it takes right so it was it was
inhuman at the time and suddenly my
assistant started saying you know we
shouldn't book that right now and we
shouldn't do this right now and I
started getting love and attention and
connection or having this problem I was
like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I'm not
I'm not going to go down that slippery
soap but that takes a really conscious
mind to do it and and lucky for me I've
had a chance to deal with millions of
people so I see these patterns all the
time but most people their problem is
their drug it's the drug against the
fear that I'm not enough and I won't be
loved even if they go no it's me I'm so
messed up what they're really saying is
reassure me love me they're wanting that
connection through their problem so you
got to decide there's something you
value more than your problem when you
decide that you can make it happen but
most people aren't going to do that
unless they get in an environment where
they see that happening you looking for
like do you have to first understand the
story that they're telling themselves to
help them unwind that like when when
you're trying to dig into that what are
you looking for to leverage to narrow
the walls to get them moving in a
direction I'm listening for something
that they value more than their pain and
or I'm trying to dig to find where that
is but I first try to figure out like if
you think of we all have a life story
right some people's life is a warning
some people's life is an example if your
Life's a warning it still can become an
example if you're alive right you have
that choice that's the greatest story of
all time the comeback story right so
what I'm looking for is what's their
story and the story is driven by number
one what's their desire if you go to a
movie read a book in the first few
minutes the main character you'll
discover what their desire is it to
merge with God is it to find a great
relationship and have children is it to
free themselves from being enslaved
whatever it is there is a driving desire
and then there's always soon as you have
a desire there's a problem because
otherwise you'd have your desire and the
problem usually is character piece is
missing within yourself you're being
selfish you're not giving enough you're
not creative enough you're not trusting
enough something enough and then as you
go through the story of a person's life
what happens is they come up with a plan
and there's always you know the phrase
you know if you want to make God laugh
tell her your plans right you know so
it's like the plan doesn't work you end
up having battles and the battles
invariably are with external enemies
with intimate enemies like who can hurt
you more the person you don't know or
the person you love who seems to have
betrayed you and then there's the
internal enemy the conflicts within
yourself and as you fight through those
battles if you continue to grow you come
to a point where you have insights you
see what the real truth is it isn't
somebody else it's me this is what needs
to shift and if you see that and act on
it kind of jump through the opening so
to speak then life's never the same
again or life is happily ever after as
it says in every story right because
you've made a shift in the core values
and beliefs and emotions that are
driving your life so I look at it that
way I'm looking to see what's their
story and you want to change your life
change your story are they playing the
position of the the pawn are they the
position of the king are they Court
gesture right are they the Martyr you
know what what is the role they're
playing what's the story they're telling
thems and then I dig for something they
value more so for example the woman that
uh was going to take her life and
already given up all her stuff um in a
few seconds of talking with her see she
mentioned something about her father who
had just died and so I asked her a
little bit about her father both her
father and mother had just died she'd
gone through sexual abuse and her
brothers and sisters didn't want to talk
about it and as a result they were
aranged from her and so she felt she had
no friends no anything suffering
financially and in a lot of physical
pain so all these things happening once
people say guess what dying would be
easier than living which is not true but
if you believe it you try to take your
life so as I dug in about her father he
grew up in the depression and he was
extraordinary and I could just see the
respect and love for her father so as I
had her tell me stories and I said well
how did he do that during that time when
he had no money and people were jumping
out of buildings and and I and I go
deeper and deeper and it's like well he
just valued this and he was he learned
from his father and you know he he never
forgot these certain coreel lessons and
and I said oh I said that's interesting
and I said so and what core lessons did
you get from your father and gradually I
started find where the resources were
why is she not going to kill herself why
what's the leverage that I can use to
get her to shift and then you can watch
this emotional transformation happen
over about 45 minutes until it was so
unbelievably emotional and complete at
the end it's like no I'm never going to
take my life I can't take my life I'm
not taking my life and she starts to
rebuild things so really fast I want to
I want to push in on that so was it that
what you were uncovering is that through
her dad she could see meaningful values
that she already resonated with and then
it was about getting her to transpose
those values from your you're putting
them on your dad but you can value those
same things in yourself now you have a
chance to live up to those values which
will help you change your story and your
sense of identity and that's going to
give you the meaning and purpose to pull
out that's the intellectual description
of it the emotional description of it
yeah that and which would not have moved
her that's the mechanics what moved her
is I can't let my father down he let his
father the worst time I can't let my
father down that's what I took her to
right and then building a compelling
future what she can build what she can
do what she does have the ability to
make happen what she has broken through
like tapping into the resources she
deleted inside of herself and
reactivating them so she feels alive
again inside herself other all the other
things you described are the structural
intellectual impact of what actually
happens but that's not what changes
somebody it all comes from emotion we
are emotional creatures we all study
like you're talking about it using your
brain you're such a smart person I love
you dearly and you analyze it all but
your effing brain isn't going to do [ __ ]
what's going to do it is enough emotion
what emotion is the power emotion is
what starts Wars It's what ends Wars
emotion is what gets you married emotion
is where kids comes from divorce is
where emotion comes from everything that
you can think of of a major change in
humanity from the most extreme of War to
the most gentle of love all come from
Human emot so it's the mix of emotion
it's like knowing what you want and
having the right fuel to get there and
you have if the fuel has no combustion
You're just bored you're not going
anywhere if the fuel is total trauma and
I'm overwhelmed you just blow up and go
nowhere there's that delicate balance
and I've learned over the years how to
help people find that balance okay this
is really interesting and may you may
have put your finger on the thing that I
struggle with the most the thing I find
compelling is for sure um being able to
understand intellectually what's
happening because I've used that to to
change my own life that is the thing
that works on me um do you at all feel I
I would ask you to consider something
please what you just said is absolutely
true I know you really well you know how
much I respect and love you personally
and what you've accomplished in your
life is extraordinary what you're
contining to accomplish is extraordinary
but there's an emotional inflection that
made you use those things in those
moments it wasn't just those
understandings if the emotion made you
find the answers brother and then you
have a really smart mind you found the
answers for got to use it but there were
inflection moments that made you do it
there's a reason why you left your
company after building it to a billion
dollars it wasn't
intellectual it's emotions so but you
have developed your mind so much it's
like your right arm your bicep is really
strong your left one not quite as much
and I'm inviting you to consider that
your left one is your more powerful one
and you've used it in key moments but
and also it's very protective to use the
mind cuz we're all afraid to feel a
little too much so the more I can
understand it I put it out here I can
analyze it I don't have to be in it but
the truth is where you're going to where
your impact or your real since impact
Theory where the real impact is is when
there's enough emotion that gets you to
apply the things that you understand
intellectually right or find the aners
you you didn't even have the answers you
found the answers intellectually because
the emotion drove you so it's really
studying what creates that emotion that
makes the difference in anybody's life
that's where everything begins and ends
is with emotion and yet our society is
all about up here you know in Chinese
medicine it's all about the heart right
that's considered the center right in
America we think it's the brain you you
know when you first are born you know
your heart starts beating that's how we
know you're alive and there is no brain
yet and this literally is the initial
sense of intelligence that's why you
know for thousands of years even poets
have talked about the power of the heart
well the heart has tremendous power and
there's a biochemical connection between
the brain and the heart that I know you
know about and learning how to use that
is where you create more lasting change
when I was understanding it all I was
good when I learned how to move people I
got great at what I was
doing yeah that that feels like a really
important statement and now I'll give
you a little more insight into part of
what rils me
up the reason that people in self-help
fall into snake oil salesman territory
is some people are very good at
orchestrating emotion but they don't
actually know how to create lasting
change in people and so it's [ __ ]
and so many people get caught up in that
part watch that's like the pump up right
they're pumped up and then it drops
right it's gone right yeah so that
that's my big fear not necessarily with
myself I'm pretty good at getting myself
to do what is useful to me in terms of
moving me towards fulfillment just to
put a really brief cap on it yeah but I
what do you think about in fact I'll ask
it another way how have you avoided
falling into the realm of [ __ ]
because so many people that mimic you
they only exist in the realm of getting
people to feel something emotional but
you don't so you uncover this okay I'm
going to make this about not letting
your dad down but the a year later and
I'm just going back to the study now a
year later people still have this
lasting impact so how and where are you
translating it from the all right we're
not going to let your dad down and this
is how we're going to do it cuz it's not
enough that's what that provides the
leverage right now we got to condition
your nervous system to feel a different
way in these contexts right now where
you feel overwhelmed and so I use
emotion with Precision it's more like a
laser it's not a pump up uh you know
people see a seminar with me and they
see 10,000 people or 20,000 people in
the stadium jumping it's you all know
it's not about jumping it's using this
scientifically to shift the biochemistry
in that room you know the the study they
did at Stanford they did they they
followed me for three years and they put
this $85,000 Vice on me that measures
everything heart rate variability
everything you imagine and then every
hour they came and took my saliva and
some blood to see how my biochemistry
was changing it was so radical because
they found out I jump a thousand times
in an average day on stage a thousand
times and I weighed 285 pounds so every
time you come down it's four times the
body weight when you hit so imagine a
million pounds times 1,000 jumps you
know million pounds of pressure B
basically in my body in just one day um
my lactic acid if you're speaking with
somebody and you're running and there's
a point you can't talk anymore cuz your
lactic acid at four well I'm at 18 I'm
still speaking but the most crazy thing
that they discovered was that they
started measuring my audience as well
and it's wild it looks I know you know
about miror neurons right you can watch
somebody and then you start to
experience in your body what they're
doing well I take an audience all over
the world including people that are home
and their houses right now that we do
these things digitally where we'll have
25,000 people in event we might have
10,000 people in front of me and other
you know 15,000 at home in 100 countries
and they went out and they did the same
test on them and they literally mirror
my biochemistry and there's something
that they found in studying guys like
Tom Brady and they they studied the um
the Stanley Cup champions at Tampa Bay
um uh lightning and so forth is when
they get to a stressful point they call
it the championship biochemistry there's
a place where your testosterone surgery
so you have this incredible drive right
also makes you retain whatever you're
thinking about with the testosterone you
remember it right because it creates a
biochemical shift but also cortisol
which is the stress hormone drops
through the floor that's why Tom Brady
can have a minute left and do these
unbelievable type comebacks he is in
this Zone well that's where I am and I
take people biochemically into this Zone
and then I take them out deliberately to
produce a little more fear break it out
you know I'm building muscles with them
and you literally see it looks like like
music to what's going on there and then
every single person that they tested
goes to this biochemical change so a
year later they didn't just have the
leverage oh I'm doing this for my mom or
new values or new beliefs they had the
biochemistry that's wired into them that
gives them strength under stress and
that's why they're doing well a year
later when Stanford follow up they like
couldn't believe it how could 11 months
later have this continue to improve well
with new beliefs and new values you're
improving your life but also because it
was D with so much emotion you've had a
biochemical shift as well and so the
combination is answers your original
questions I said you can't separate the
mind and the body I do both when
somebody just pumps people up you know
and copies what I do in terms of the
surface they don't know what they're
doing on the Deep part and some people
do the Deep part but they don't quite
frankly get everybody because they don't
produce the emotional change so people
leave intellectually understanding why
they're messed up and they can explain
it to you but nothing changes it's the
combination of those that produces real
lasting transformation all right talk to
me about values concretely is there a
generic set of values that everyone
should be uh living their life against
is it all super unique to the individual
and how do we go about creating and
making those values stick it's a great
question when I was like 35 years old I
for about a year I asked everybody
anywhere I went tax right what's most
important to you in life what else is
most important which that's how you find
it what people value most right and I
was looking for that ideal set of values
if we could all do that it just shows
you know my level of development at 35
right thinking we all have one set of
values at different stages of life we
need to Value different things there are
different lessons there are predictable
things that happen from 0 to 21 not
identical for everyone but there's
certain things you're accumulating
knowledge and skill you're you know if
you're lucky someone's looking out for
you most people have someone looking out
for them at least for a period of that
time you go to 22 to 42 now you're
testing what you were taught all the
things you were taught to believe and
then you find out [ __ ] relationships are
a little more complex than I thought
when you get into a deep intimate one
right and then you discover well [ __ ]
I'm not invincible and so 22 to 42 if
you work at it you're the soldier of
society and you're learning and you're
growing and you're testing and now
you're developing who you are 43 to 63
roughly you know 20e segments some
people you know I went to work when I
was 11 years old right so I didn't start
at 21 but you get the idea the overall
phases of life but 4 3 63 that's your
power period if you worked hard in the
first two seasons if you planted in the
spring and you took care of things
during the summer and kept growing then
it's fall for you that's the time when
you have the greatest reaping in terms
of business success in terms of life in
terms of wisdom in terms of
understanding and you get better in your
relationships and you stop judging
yourself so insanely hopefully and then
from 64 to 84 to 104 to the oldest
living humans you know 120 that's a
different period That's a period which
if you've done well in the beginning you
get to be the Elder of the tribe and you
get to be in a place where you get to
Mentor people and you want to and it's
not about you anymore cuz you live
enough life to know that that's an empty
promise you know there's only so much
feelings you can have for yourself you
know you know buying things or music or
drugs or sex or whatever there's you
start to realize life has a higher and
deeper purpose and it's about something
more than me life's not about me it's
about we and when that starts to happen
to people if they're healthy if they
took care of himself in those first
three stages it's the most fulfilling
time of Life all the research shows most
fulfilling if you're healthy so it's
that's kind of the the racetrack