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Language: en
morning routines are one of the most
important things that you can create in
your life and the reason is when you
start the day if you get early momentum
going the rest of the day is often going
to follow in that it's an idea called
entropy everything moves towards chaos
and the only way to combat that is to
put energy into the system you are not
going to wake up and randomly have a
good day you're going to have to
structure your day in a way that sets
you up to overcome all of the entropy
all of that chaos all of the thousand
things going to come at you in on a
daily basis that are going to knock you
off course and the easiest way to do
that is to have a routine that you
follow every morning so you don't have
to think about it you don't have to
reinvent the wheel you don't have to
wonder or think about what you should be
doing it's just right there it is baked
into the routine so by doing that now
you can actually accomplish the most
important things first so the thing to
doing your morning routine well is to
optimize for what Tim Ferriss refers to
as the lead Domino what's the thing that
if I did this it's going to make
everything else easier down the road so
number one a morning routine actually
starts the night before you want to get
plenty of sleep why because that's going
to optimize your your cognition the next
thing you want to do is either meditate
or work out typically I will work out
first the reason that I work out is
because it optimizes your cognition so
that everything else is going to get
easier it also dramatically impacts your
energy levels talk about two things that
are incredible lead dominoes if I'm
getting sleep and optimizing my
cognition if I'm working out and
optimizing my cognition and I'm making
sure that I have the energy levels that
I need to get things done now I'm really
making sure that everything that I do
after that is easier the next thing that
I do is meditate why because it
optimizes your cognition you want to
make sure that you're getting all of
your background radiation the stress the
anxiety you want to get that as close to
zero as you can that way you can think
clearly you get into what I call a calm
and creative state so the areas of your
brain that don't often communicate are
able to communicate get better ideas
that way again Lee Domino improving your
cognition lowering your stress levels
making sure that you're centered and
that you've got that energy to move
forward then I'm going to go down my
list of important things I make that
list the day before so I know exactly
what I should be doing at any one time
and again it's a lead Domino strategy
what the first thing that I'm going to
do is going to be the thing that makes
everything else on my list easier I'm
going to do everything that I can do on
the most important thing and by the way
they should always be rank ordered there
is no such thing as a tie there is a
number one a number two and number three
and number four so on and so forth there
is not two number ones there's not two
number twos there is a one two three
four five so on and so forth I do
everything that I can do on number one
once that's now where I'm waiting for
something else or you know I just have
to let it bake whatever then I'm going
to move on to number two I'm gonna do
everything I can on number two then I'm
going to move on to number three do you
set your day up like that and you're not
checking your phone and you're not
responding to other people because
that's letting them control your
schedule and what are the odds that
somebody other than you knows better
matter what you should be doing to make
your goals come true than you the answer
should be zero because if somebody else
knows better than you we already have a
problem it means that somebody else is
paying more attention to your own life
than you are that would be problematic
get that morning routine down get that
momentum going do the lead Domino
strategy make sure you're optimizing for
energy and cognition absolutely critical
your diet is one of the most important
things you can do to boost your energy
your focus and your productivity what
you should be eating varies wildly and I
will just tell you right now that while
I'm going to give you a very simple
thing that you can follow and it's going
to take care of 80 of all of your
desires and problems know that there is
massive variability at the individual
level and that you should be testing a
lot of different things to find out what
is right for you so what I'm about to
lay out is the sort of generic strategy
that I think everybody should try but
getting into the nitty-gritty is going
to require you to do a lot of testing
there there is no way around this I wish
that dieting was more simplistic but
based on your lifestyle based on your
heredity based on your microbiome all of
this stuff is going to dramatic to
dramatically vary so be very thoughtful
make sure you run experimentation having
said that what are the things that I
think are Universal number one you want
to be eating Whole Food whenever humanly
possible so you want to eat food that is
recognizable from what it was in nature
so a piece of meat should look like a
piece of meat it shouldn't be highly
processed your vegetables should look
like vegetables I mean you should be
brushing dirt off of them that kind of
recognizable from nature nuts should be
I mean ideally raw I'll be really honest
I do sometimes eat roasted nuts but if
I'm honest that's worse than if you're
just eating them raw so you want things
that are as close to their natural state
is humanly possible the less that they
have been messed with manufactured
altered in any way the better off you're
going to be I will say that heat is
something that I apply to virtually all
of my food there are some really
interesting theories about from an
evolutionary standpoint that cooking is
one of the things that allowed us to
grow the big brain because by cooking it
you not only soften the food make it
easier to chew but you also release some
of the nutrients it's beyond the scope
of this to get into that but when I say
raw I don't mean that everything needs
to be uncooked I just mean the less
processed the better things that I eat
every day I eat a lot of eggs red meat I
eat some chicken a bit of pork but I'm
eating a fair amount of meat so I get a
good portion of my calories from that
again individual variability if you're
doing a vegan thing word I'm totally
about it test for the individual
response that you get I find that the
more plant forward I go there's like a
breaking point where I start feeling
worse could be me it could be me doing
it poorly but as long as you're doing
whole food I think you're on the money
so eating whole food and making sure
that you're avoiding sugar that is like
the big thing so I don't think you can
eat fruit with impunity I think you have
to be very thoughtful about that if
you're on unsure of what fruit is going
to impact you and how I highly recommend
getting a continuous glucose monitor
that will allow you to eat fruit if you
want and see what kind of glycemic
response you have for instance I find
that I can make certain fruit smoothies
and if I eat it slowly enough my
glycemic response will go up to about
120. I prefer to keep it in the 80s but
hey if it goes up to 120 and it's sort
of even and it comes back down I don't
consider that too problematic but if I
eat it really quickly and it spikes up
to say 140 150 that to me is problematic
and I don't want to be that high so you
can play with things also what you put
in this smoothie Etc if you're going to
eat fruit and vegetables make sure that
you separate fruit and vegetables keep
those two things distinct I think you
will find by wearing a continuous
glucose monitor that you're going to
have a dramatically different response
to most fruit than you will to
vegetables again there's a lot of
variability here so the more that you
test on yourself the better but that's
really the the sort of generic response
if your or generic setup that I think
everybody should try Whole Food whenever
humanly possible avoid sugar keeping
your blood glucose below 100 I highly
recommend it for me I try to keep my
glucose in this the 80-ish range that's
sort of my default I also do
intermittent fasting I think that that
is very effective getting into things
like autophagy is beyond the scope of
what we're talking about right now but
even that I think it's going to be huge
body composition is greatly affected by
intermittent fasting again individual
variability make sure that you
experiment with this stuff for yourself
I do when you average it out I think I
went about 18 months where I was
tracking every day my average over that
extended period of time was 17 and a
half hours so on the weekends it's it's
shorter but on the weekdays sometimes
it's longer sometimes it's 19 20 21 22
hours that I'll go uh between meals but
again over a very extended period of
time it averages out to 17 and a half
hours of not eating now the way that I
do that I have my last meal around 1 15
definitely done chewing by 2PM and then
I don't eat again until the next day at
around 9 9 30 somewhere around in there
shorter on the weekends longer during
the week and it it balances out I'm
having everything from green leafy
vegetables like bok choy uh collard
greens kale broccoli
to carrot jicama I do occasionally have
some sweet potato it'll be a little
thoughtful about that one watch your
glycemic load that definitely spikes me
more than green leafy vegetables but
those are the mix that I use again I'm
eating Whole Foods virtually all of my
calories come from Whole Food during the
week in fact I'd say 95 percent of my
calories come from Whole Foods very rare
that I deviate from that but doing that
allows me to have tremendous focus a lot
of energy get the most out of my
workouts maintain my body composition
keep my fat low keep my glycemic spikes
low so I'm not getting you know blood
sugar spikes which helps me maintain my
energy through the day and also just
from a longevity standpoint I think
that's a great idea I will say go look
at David Sinclair he's got some pretty
compelling information around the fact
that Meats may not be great for
longevity so while it makes me feel
awesome it's something called mtor so be
thoughtful as you get into the complex
weeds of this stuff nutrition is a very
big complex topic again the only things
that I consider universals are whole
food and reducing sugar universals close
to a universe will be intermittent
fasting though some people can have
differing responses to that so be
thoughtful as you experiment with this
stuff but if you do that like I said 80
plus percent of your problems are going
to go away that's a nice low
inflammation diet and keeping your
inflammation low is incredibly important
the way that I found to stay focused be
productive and not get distracted is one
by auditing my time so that I know one
what I'm supposed to be working on and
then two that at the end of any task I'm
going to reflect back on how long long
it took me how much time did I spend on
task and also I have rules like if I'm
working on something I don't take out my
phone I don't look at it no matter what
I have no alerts on my computer no
alerts on my phone if somebody's calling
I would never know if somebody's texted
me I would never know I don't have
anything that pops up on my computer you
want to eliminate distractions I don't
even work facing a window I will go into
a room and I will intentionally face
myself away from a window there was one
period of my life the only reason I
stopped doing this is because I think
it's really important to get daylight in
your eyes but I was putting myself in a
dark room and literally with a stand-up
desk was the only thing between me and a
wall so even though I was in a nice
expansive beautiful room I was putting
myself facing the wall so that there was
nothing for me to even look at that I
want to be working on the thing that I'm
trying to accomplish and the other thing
is that's hugely important is to make
sure that you care about what you're
working on the number of people that
don't give about what they're doing with
their life is terrifying and when you
don't care about what you're working on
there's no meaning or purpose behind the
thing that you're trying to do then of
course it's going to be harder to stay
on track of course you're going to be
looking for that dopamine hit from your
phone from that email because working on
the thing that you're working on doesn't
give you the dopamine hit making sure
that you're pursuing things that you
care about that's a huge part of it so
caring about what you do making sure
that you're optimizing your environment
to minimize distractions and then having
rules about things like not checking
your phone not letting yourself wander
off like for instance I won't even let
myself go get a drink of water until
I've accomplished a certain thing that
I'm trying to do and I will find myself
taking like that first step to go get a
drink of water you're on autopilot you
need some drip of dopamine when you're
working on something that's boring or
difficult but then the rule kicks in and
I remind myself ah yes I'm going to
finish this thing and then I make sure
that I reward myself for doing that hard
work so when you're doing hard work in
service of something that you really
believe in that you're really
emotionally connected to your why now
all of a sudden with some rules put in
place it becomes easy to stay there and
get your stuff done and then on top of
that I know when to give a break to go
get a drink of water or something like
that to get up to walk around all of
that stuff is incredibly important to
make sure that you're able to stay on
task a big thing may be the biggest of
all is personal standards you got to
have standards I see people except the
lamest from themselves and they let
themselves get away with not being
productive wasting an entire day before
they call themselves out or Worse
staying at a job that they don't care
about doing something that doesn't mean
anything to them just to collect a
paycheck and I get how people would be
unable to stick with something but let
me promise you your life will pass you
by in an instant not only is tomorrow
not guaranteed tonight isn't guaranteed
so if you're not working at something
that you really care about that means
something to you your life is going to
pass you by make sure you're focused on
things you care about you're eliminating
distractions and you're rewarding
yourself when you cry crush it then just
make sure you audit your time you should
be ready to rock if you fall into a rut
and you want to get out of it the first
thing that you have to do is be honest
with yourself that you're in a rut so
often I see people not wanting to admit
that things are not going the way that
they want them to go whether it's
because they're trying to keep up with
the Joneses or they have low self-esteem
and they're really struggling and so
they're trying to tell themselves a
story that isn't true because they're
building their self-esteem around being
right being good being talented whatever
all of those fragile things and so
they're not willing to stop take a good
hard look at whether or not they're
making the kind of progress that they
want to make now my advice is to switch
what you build your self-esteem around
so that you're building your self-esteem
around not being right or smart or good
that you're building your self-esteem
around the very willingness to look at
whether or not you're making progress
recognize that you're not making
progress and make a change and get
moving again but that's the key to
really be honest with yourself to audit
that time to make sure that you really
are making progress and deny not be
angry upset or diminish your sense of
self because you're in a rut but instead
be proud of yourself for really being
willing to assess where am I at what am
I trying to accomplish am I actually
making progress and that willingness to
stare nakedly at your inadequacies to
really be honest about whether you're
making progress to be honest about
whether you're improving enough at
something to be honest about whether
you're working hard enough at something
all of those things are incredibly
important but you'll never be honest
with yourself if in recognizing that
you're underperforming if you just beat
yourself up you want to recognize you're
underperforming and be proud of yourself
for recognizing that you're
underperforming and being willing to do
something about it if you build your
self-esteem around that now you have
that self-reinforcing engine that you're
going to need to get moving again but
first it starts with acknowledging the
problem being pristine on prepping for
bed I think is incredibly important
getting good quality sleep is is
critical so there are several things
that I do number one I wear myself out
during the day I'm going all in on the
things I'm trying to accomplish so man
at the end of the day I feel like I've
earned my sleep and that idea of earning
your sleep the idea of earning your days
off of earning a vacation something that
is incredibly rewarding remember we're
only pursuing things that we care about
that mean something to us we have the
strong why the strong attachment to not
only us but the people that we're trying
to help but then going all out for it so
that by the end of the day I've worked
out I've eaten right I've been
disciplined I've worked my ass off I
stayed focused I pushed myself I've
avoided distractions I've left
everything out on the field trying to
move myself forward going down my
important things list taking things one
at a time really pushing the ball
forward not just chasing dopamine but
actually trying to do something so by
the time I get to bed I am worn out the
next thing I do is starting about three
hours before bed so for me because I go
to bed at nine like it's a religion I'm
putting blue blocking glasses on at 6 PM
you want to make sure that you're not
even around very bright light so I start
dimming the lights towards the evening
time not exposing blue light into my
eyes really helps with circadian rhythm
in the morning I try to get outside and
actually get direct sunlight into my
eyes that does not mean staring at the
sun just means looking up at the sky
being outside letting all of that
natural light get on your skin get in
your eyes it's going to be a huge part
of setting that circadian rhythm for
about I stopped checking my text
messages usually about two hours before
I go to bed reason is that the most
stressful things in my life come in via
text message so I know better so I try
to stop that two hours before definitely
an hour before because it's going to
take me time to sort of recalibrate my
mind one thing I'm always telling people
is the reason that I'm able to work as
much as I work to endure as much stress
as I Endure as I'm very good at
compartmentalizing when I have something
stressful I take it and sort of code it
in the things that I'm going to do to
deal with that because action cures all
so earlier in the day if I get something
really stressful if I can get the ball
rolling then all is well I get things
going I know that that problem is going
to be solved my brain goes ah we're in
action mode all is well I can deal with
this as we get later in the night I'm
not going to be able to do the things
that I need to do to get it moving which
means that my brain is going to worry on
it all night so I've got to do something
to compartmentalize that to figure out
what my strategy is going to be and then
I put that thing away now it takes some
time so I'd rather not encounter that an
hour before I go to bed right so like I
said about two hours before I go to bed
I'm going to stop looking at my text
messages so I'm going to keep working
I'm going to execute on the things that
I'm working on but I'm going to try to
compartmentalize that so that I'm not
introducing new things that I have to
come up with a new strategy for the next
thing is about an hour before bed I now
only work on things that I find fun so
that that's moving my brain into like oh
this isn't stressful this is actually
enjoyable this is fun so I do a lot of
my research for episodes that I'm going
to be filming at night because I love it
that's one of the most fun things about
my job is getting to learn something new
so I can do research right up until the
moment that I go to bed so that's
something that I'll save for that time
if I don't have an episode coming up and
I want to keep working then again I'm
going to focus on something that I find
enjoyable which for me often means that
I'm working on storytelling or something
along those lines because it's really
really pleasurable and then about a half
an hour before I go to bed I'll be
listening to something but I just start
my night routine I'm going to be
brushing my teeth in sort of a
meditative fashion really relaxing I'm
not listening to anything that's going
to be stressful doing things that are
chill if I've had a really stressful day
I might even sit down and meditate for
the last 15 or 20 minutes before I go to
bed and then when I'm actually going to
bed I go into storytelling mode so the
great news is for me that actually works
for work as well but I'm putting in
headphones I might start listening to an
actual book if I don't have a story that
I'm trying to work on I start listening
to a book a fiction book puts my brain
in a different space and if I've worked
right up until the moment I go to bed at
that point I will still put a fiction
book on right as I'm going to sleep and
I have learned an incredible technique
that allows me to deal with stress and
not necessarily suggesting that people
push themselves this far if you find
yourself at night having a hard time
falling asleep this works unbelievably
well I don't have a trick that works
better than this this is the closest
thing to Magic that you're gonna get I
put my air pods in I put on a fiction
book A book that doesn't have murder or
anything like that because I don't want
to hear screaming and yelling I made
that mistake so I've run that test it
does not work well I will put a book on
it's usually sci-fi a great narrator and
I turn the volume down so I can just
barely make out what they're saying just
a little bit of pressure to my ear in
order to clearly hear what they're
saying and then I apply that pressure
and I leave the book Running I don't put
a timer I let it go and then I fall
asleep and then the pressure comes off
my ear and now I can no longer make out
what they're saying so as I'm drifting
off to sleep I lose the words that are
being said but my brain has gone out of
problem solving mode into story mode
narrative mode I'm able to relax and
fall asleep all by listening to that
story I forget about the things that are
stressing me in the day then if I wake
up in the middle of the night I will
swap out my headphones so that the
battery doesn't die because that little
beeping noise telling you that you have
low battery will wake me up again
learned that the hard way and then again
it's just as I'm trying to fall back
asleep I put a little pressure on my ear
so I can hear it and then uh the story
takes me back into Dreamland and I sleep
I went through a phase where I was
really struggling to sleep man I tried
everything and finally figuring that
system out works like a charm I use 1.4
X everybody knows I like to listen to
things at 3x but I can't do that if I'm
trying to fall asleep I found the
perfect rate where my brain doesn't have
to struggle to listen but the words are
coming in fast enough that the pauses
don't irritate me put it in pressure
good story good narrator boom I'm off to
sleep if you do all of those sleep
hygiene things
you ought to sleep like a baby oh and
keep your room cool get a chili pad if
you don't have AC
they're not the cheapest thing in the
world but they are worth every penny
making sure that your room is cool or
that you are cool on a chili pad makes a
huge difference so make sure that you do
that and then get your room as dark as
possible when you're sleeping personally
I know this is going to freak some
people out I sleep with the blankets up
over my head to ensure complete darkness
so my wife and I don't share blankets
which is another thing that I recommend
which everybody thinks that I'm crazy I
forget now that that's even a thing
because I told my wife from the jump
we're never going to share blankets hope
you're okay with that forever we have
slept with separate blankets that way I
can wrap myself up in mine I never have
to worry about her stealing them or me
stealing them from her and all of those
things allow me to sleep like a baby
night after night even in the middle of
stress won't say that it never happens
where I'm so stressed that I wake up
it's pretty rare because of all the
things that I do for Sleep hygiene if
you're not going in the right direction
in your life and you want an action plan
that you can use you can just try it for
the next seven days it's going to change
everything in your life it goes like
this follow the morning routine plan
that I laid out before plenty of sleep
perfect sleep getting up working out
meditating intermittent fasting
important things absolutely critical
getting your diet right the number of
people that are in pain that don't
realize that they have brain fog that
don't realize that there's just a
general sense of suck in their life
because of their diet once you clean
that up get that right get your
inflammation down get your Stress and
Anxiety down which is also majorly
impacted by your diet getting your sleep
right your energy levels are going to
feel awesome because your diet's there
because your sleep is there meditation
changing the game so you're going to do
all of the things that I talked about in
that morning routine and then the next
thing that I will add to that human
connection
find a loving relationship and put time
into it find a loving relationship and
put time into it even though I have a
rule Monday through Friday if I'm awake
I'm either working or working out but
you will note I'm involved in
storytelling so I'm around things like
anime and manga and I'm talking about
stories I'm interviewing incredible
people so my job even though it's hard
even though it's a lot of hours it's
doing things that I love and care about
in service of people that I'm trying to
help 92 percent of people that set a New
Year's goal fail to achieve it which is
why I've created a 90-day challenge
designed specifically to ensure that you
hit your goals you really can radically
transform yourself just click the link
below to join me and the entire impact
Theory university community to kick off
2023 right with the impact 90 challenge
alright guys now back to the episode
and I'm doing it with my wife my best
friend the person that I care most about
in the world everything that you're
striving for everything that you're
trying to do and accomplish if you don't
have people that you love and care about
and that you're spending time with it's
all for naught we are a social creature
so optimize your sleep optimize your
diet optimize your exercise and all of
that is going to take care of your
cognition and your energy levels and
your general feeling of well-being which
comes largely from your diet exercise
and sleep and love and if you're doing
all of that in a package and the thing
that you're working towards really
matters to you and to the world
it's about as good as it gets yes a
negative mindset is going to have an
overall impact on your mental health so
anxiety is the easiest one to talk about
because I've experienced it but I think
depression is also going to be hugely
affected by what you allow yourself to
repeat so one core mechanism of the
brain is to understand that while we are
a very active species that's meant to go
out and explore and master our
environment there's a secondary
evolutionary Force pushing on us which
is that we also want to conserve
calories to make sure that we survive
a famine so we have this dual competing
thing of wanting to go out and do cool
hence the Big Dreams and wanting to sit
on the couch and eat a bag of potato
chips hence why we procrastinate why we
feel lazy and the
way that the brain as a physiological
organ has dealt with this dual impulse
challenge over evolutionary time frames
is that it's a process called
myelination and what that does is it's
wrapping fatty tissue around neurons
that fire together at the same time
frequently so this is why they say
neurons that fire together wire together
they are literally getting optimized for
the efficient transmission of these
signals across those synaptic gaps and
the reason that they do this is that it
becomes easier from a caloric
perspective to do those things so now
you've made whatever you repeat whether
it's something empowering or
disempowering whether it's something
that makes you anxious or feel like you
can do anything it's going to make
thinking those thoughts and feeling
those feelings easier from a caloric
perspective it also begins to move it
into What's called the default mode
Network so the default mode network is
responsible for
anything that we'll call automatic
thinking if you've done something a
bazillion times you don't think about
brushing your teeth you just brush your
teeth you don't think about driving to
work oftentimes certainly before the
pandemic you just drive to work and
there were times where you would show up
at work and be like whoa I almost don't
remember the journey getting here and
the reason is that what ends up
happening is your cognition can be put
onto basically something else you're
thinking through daydreaming whatever
and the thing that you do in a
repetitive way is Just Happening
automatically super efficiently and it's
a thing that happens to the brain where
you can scan somebody and go up they're
in the default mode Network right now
and if worry anxiety Panic fear stress
if that's what you're doing all the time
then that's what's going to be moved
over made calorically easier to do moved
into the default mode Network so that by
default that's where you go and this is
where most people spend the majority of
their lives is living in that default
mode network of these emotions that
they've created these very well-worn
paths to looping around over and over to
feeling those feelings over and over and
so you can understand since the body
responds to your
the mental states that you're constantly
in that each of those mental States is
characterized by hormonal and
neurochemical states and the body will
have different long-term consequences
based on what you're feeling so for
instance if you are constantly stressed
or constantly anxious your cortisol
levels are extraordinarily High cortisol
levels begin to damage the um
the elasticity of your blood vessels is
one of the vectors of attack on your
body and so you don't want to stay in
these chronically elevated levels
because it deteriorates the Integrity of
the lining of your blood vessels and
this is the kind of thing that leads to
stroke or coronary heart disease so
being incredibly thoughtful not to loop
on those things which doesn't mean that
there aren't bad things going on in your
life but it does mean that when you
allow yourself to bloop that there is
this hormonal and chemical Cascade as a
response to that that your body will
have negative consequences to or
positive consequences if you're in a
loving calm State a lot and that's the
thing that becomes the default mode
Network that becomes the easiest thing
for you to think and you're in this
really calm and creative state a lot of
times then you're gonna prolong your
life
um so I I hesitate only to say that
because of course there are other
extenuating circumstances like if your
diet is terrible but but you're in that
column and creative state a lot I think
you're still going to run into issues
and quite honestly if your diet is
messed up then the odds of you being
able to stay in that calm and creative
state are very very low because of the
communication that happens between your
brain and your guts getting into
dysbiosis is a whole nother thing but
anyway you want to be very careful the
things that you allow yourself to think
now how do you train yourself to get out
of that
get out of a negative default mode
Network and into a positive default mode
Network so one is something called
pattern interrupting this comes from
cognitive behavioral therapy it's
extraordinarily useful and I highly
encourage you guys to get very deaf to
this and this is simply not allowing
yourself to think certain thoughts and
every time you catch yourself doing it
to pattern interrupt and you remind
yourself you don't do that so for
instance one of the reasons that I don't
get overwhelmed is because I don't allow
myself to be overwhelmed that doesn't
mean that I can carry an infinite load
what it means is every time I can feel
that escalation I can feel like oh my
God this is overwhelming I say to myself
ah you don't do overwhelm and saying
that thought interrupts that pattern and
breaks me out of it brings my conscious
control back in right Victor Frankel
between stimulus and response there is a
gap we want to mind that Gap we want to
get in there insert something like this
statement I don't do overwhelm which
then puts me back into conscious control
and I decide what I want to insert in
terms of the emotion that I want to feel
which of course is more calm more
relaxed able to handle more things
now I also remind myself that doing less
is always an option so if there's just
too many things happening at once 99
times out of 100 even if I'm really in
something busy and there's a lot
happening if I feel overwhelmed coming
on Boom pattern interrupt I don't do
overwhelm and then I'm gonna sit down
I'm gonna deep breathe from my belly
and I'm going to slow things down
and I'm going to let that stuff go and
that's exactly how I'm actually able to
end up doing more because I don't let
that become a runaway process
I pattern interrupted I breathe from my
diaphragm I slow down it doesn't take
long to reset
to get yourself focused and then
typically what I'll do at that point is
shift back into an aggressive mental and
emotional posture which then helps me
push through anything that might
potentially feel overwhelming
and that is the training so you're doing
that pattern interrupt you're doing the
physiological things that you need to do
to shift your state and then you're
inserting yourself back into that Gap
and you do that over and over and over
and over never wasting time being angry
with yourself that you start to feel
overwhelmed but instead being proud of
yourself that you do the pattern
interrupt that you slow things down
and when you reinforce that behavior
that's what begins to wire together and
now over time it becomes this very easy
Loop that happens automatically you
don't even think about it when you start
to feel that sense of overwhelm you
don't get lost in the overwhelm boom you
stop you slow down breathe insert the
aggression in this case I'm just giving
you an example from how I deal with it
but whatever you're going to do to deal
with it
I do something exactly uh similar to
that for anxiety I start to feel the
anxiety build up I'm not going to allow
that to become this runaway process I'm
going to slow down it happens again that
I'm going to breathe from my diaphragm
I'm going to relax I'm going to close my
eyes I'm going to start some sort of
visualization of things going well
instead of going wrong you only get
anxious when you imagine things going
wrong so now I'm going to force myself
to imagine them going well
I'm going to breathe from my diaphragm
doing the physiological work of making
sure I'm shifting State and just do that
over and over and over do you know what
the best way would be to accelerate the
electrical neural Connections in my
brain so I can learn faster change
habits and improve exponentially in my
life working with the neuroplasticity
that you know so well thank you okay so
this is a game of repetition and
understanding that for the reasons that
I just outlaid in the previous question
it just comes down to what you repeat
whatever you repeat then you're going to
get better at that thing better meaning
more efficient from a brain wiring
standpoint it gets easier to do and so
as you think about trying to learn
faster a lot of this is going to be
practice learning you're going to be
learning as much as you can and one
you're going to lay down those neural
Pathways but two and maybe more
importantly is you are going to learn
tips and tricks along the way that will
optimize for exactly you so I'm giving
you all the things that work for me I
think it'll probably work 80 to 85 five
percent exactly the same for you but
there's that 15 percent that's going to
be optimized just for you where you're
like you know what that thing like I'll
give you an example from my own life box
breathing so to meditate
people will typically tell you to
breathe in four equal parts I found that
that didn't work for me so I found by
optimizing for the pleasure cycle of
those four parts of the breast cycle
that it worked perfectly so it was like
85 percent of it was just sitting down
meditating understand how to come back
to the thought understanding how to
breathe from my diaphragm all that that
was by far all of the heavy lifting but
then that little tweak at the end made a
big difference and so by practicing
learning by repeating learning by doing
it over and over by finding out do you
do better when you're reading a physical
book do you do better when you're
listening to audio do you do better on
YouTube videos do you do better on
audiobooks do you do better when you can
take physical notes do you do better
notes handwritten or typed all of these
things so it's it's all the same stuff
but there are going to be little nuances
that are different for you and so
getting in there and doing them over and
over and over that's going to be the key
to learning faster increasing the speed
and then just overall getting better at
that by doing those things over and over
and over so that you get the hard wiring
that you're looking for
next is it possible to train your brain
to control dopamine addiction especially
with things like YouTube games and nfts
that are so all-consuming and addictive
how can you redirect your brain to focus
on your goals all right let's talk about
time management so I am very grateful
that while I have a very obsessive
personality I don't have an addictive
personality and what that means is that
I find it relatively straightforward to
create rules in my life and I highly
encourage anybody to do this whether you
have an addictive or an obsessive
personality or anything else to create
bright lines in your life rules that you
simply don't violate that way there's no
question like imagine if you say
something like
this is actually true for my childhood
my mom would say I don't remember the
exact number but it was something like
13. we could have 13 Doritos
so you're eating your 13 Doritos but
like Dorito number nine was kind of
broken so that doesn't really count as a
full Dorito but then the next one maybe
only has a tiny bit of a corner missing
so you take that when you're like well
they were both broken and so you end up
eating you know the equivalent of more
or maybe you lost count and so you don't
want to cheat yourself of course so you
know at number six maybe you start the
count over so there are all these ways
where you end up in taking more than you
mean to versus saying I only eat Doritos
on a Saturday that way if it isn't
Saturday I'm not eating Doritos and then
if you find well what I end up doing is
on Friday night I stay awake until 1201
so I can eat Doritos go to bed wake up
eat more Doritos if that isn't the
outcome that you want then you say cool
I don't eat Doritos until I've woken up
on a Saturday morning after you know at
least seven hours of being in bed
whatever you need to do to make sure
that you're not getting up in the middle
of the night or only sleeping for hours
because you're so excited to go eat
these are sadly all real things from my
past and so figuring out all of those
things and understanding how you have to
refine your rules so that you can be
very clear about what you do and what
you don't do once you do that now you
can start breaking that dopamine Loop
that people can get into so one area
that I do find that I get into it and I
have to be really thoughtful about this
is this weird loop around checking uh
WhatsApp checking uh Twitter checking my
text messages if I'm moving something
forward in the business so I never do it
just like in my personal life but there
are times where I'm trying to move
something forward in my business I need
to see what the team is doing some
people on the team communicate via
WhatsApp some for text and then on
Twitter if I'm trying to promote
something and so I'll get in this Loop
of just like going going going and each
thing leads to the next and you know
getting to sort of inbox zero and
WhatsApp triggers me to go get to inbox
zero on my text messages triggers me to
go get to inbox zero on Twitter triggers
me to go back to WhatsApp to text and
and I get in this weird crazy loop and
so what I do to end up breaking that
Cycle One becoming aware of it is hugely
important and understanding how that
dopamine cycle works and then two to
make sure that I put confines around it
even if I have to set an alarm normally
I don't because my day is so busy
that I've got to get on to the next
thing but recognizing okay this is
something that I'm prone to and that I
need to have a hard stop because if I
don't have a hard stop that I know that
I'll end up in this Loop and it begins
to not feel good like at first it feels
like I'm making progress I'm pushing
things forward and then at some point it
begins to start to feel really
uncomfortable and like that I have a
compulsion I have to check again I have
to go back and so recognizing that
that's a thing and then instituting
rules so for instance I don't care about
inbox zero I care about moving a project
forward I care very much about time
management I care very much about having
my priorities in order and going down my
list of priorities and once that thing
is no longer a priority even if I see
that a notification comes in and now
there's a message waiting or five
messages waiting or ten messages waiting
I train myself that I'm not even going
to look at that I know that there are
people waiting for a response I've
already moved it forward as much as
makes sense given my time allocation
given my priorities and therefore I'm
going to be completely fine with that
and so one thing I've done is
on almost everything it's not on
everything everything but on almost
everything I've turned off all visible
notifications so that if you were to
pick up my phone it looks like I have
nothing waiting for me there's nothing
in my email nothing in my text nothing
um but there are but I force it so that
I have to go in to check it so there
aren't these little things dripping on
my mind so being very careful about
doing that and then things that are just
pure fun like games or nfts or something
like that again it's it's knowing that
I'm going to allow myself to spend this
much time so for instance having a
bedtime that you stick to is incredibly
important I'd be lying if I said the
nfts haven't led me beyond my bedtime a
few times but I really do try to be
religious so if once or twice out of the
week I end up going say 20 minutes over
my bedtime I'm okay with that we'll call
that a margin of error but if it started
to be a problem then I would put bright
lines then I would say something like I
cannot stay up past my bedtime more than
twice in the seven day period and you do
something like that
and again bright lines are incredibly
effective at making sure that you don't
end up in a behavior pattern that you
don't want to be in
all right and then go look at Andrew
huberman and his work on dopamine and
all the things that he's discussing uh
it's really powerful to understand how
dopamine works and that it isn't
actually rewarding you for getting the
thing it's rewarding desire so dopamine
is the anticipatory neurochemical that
feels good it's exciting to want
something to pursue something and so
once you understand that dopamine is
actually triggering the desire to pursue
it then you're more likely to be able to
break that pattern because you realize
that doing whatever Behavior playing the
games looking at nfts all of that it's
never going to satisfy it you're never
going to be like oh cool now I've had my
fill and I can go stop dopamine is
specifically making you want to do more
of something to pursue it to go after it
to repeat that behavior so be very
thoughtful about that next should you be
hard on yourself or soften yourself how
can you tell if someone's brain is
geared towards hearing negative
affirmations or needs negative
persuasion to get things done okay so
there's is moving towards and there's
moving away and once you understand what
your Baseline personality is are you
more likely to move towards something or
more likely to move away from something
I'm a move towards kind of person so the
vast majority of my life is spent moving
towards the things that excite me call
it 80 and then 20 of the time I find
that moving away from something is very
powerful and what the person asking the
question is referring to in the gym
because I hated it so much and it was so
exhausting it felt like such a waste of
time I had to think about protecting my
wife and that if I wasn't able to get
strong and not be able to protect my
wife that something bad might happen to
her and so that was a real motivation
but if I'm honest as I get into the
Nuance of that it was really the thing
that I would imagine was just ruining
the person trying to get after my wife
and so that it was about me winning in
that scenario being able to dismantle
them and even that was like a move
towards it was moving towards getting
stronger but there's no doubt that there
was some negative impulse air but it's
figuring out from yourself what
motivates you what scenarios does you
imagine them walk through them push you
to do more and then recognizing that
nature has only given us two things
Pleasure and Pain and so the more you
can optimize them both the better now
part of the optimization cycle of
pleasure is understanding that when you
think about the Beautiful Things the
pleasurable things that you want to
bring into this world that you could
soak there you could spend all of your
time there and it would feel wonderful
the negative stuff I think is actually
higher in amplitude in its ability to
incentivize Behavior
but is corrosive and so
um
there are video game references coming
to mind there is a gun in Destiny 2 and
the longer you use it the more it
overheats and it will actually end up
damaging you as you use the gun and so
you have to be careful not to use it too
much because it starts taking away your
own life so that's negative energy all
day so as you are using that negative
energy it works at first and gives you
this real boost
then if you stay there too long it
begins to become a problem both
physiologically and just from a is it
fun living my life perspective so you
want to be really thoughtful I find that
an 80 20 balance is roughly right find
the right balance for you I would be
startled if it was ever more than 20
percent but in my darkest times where I
am just exhausted and cannot bear the
thought of going on any longer
to get that like reinvigoration I need
to only think about the people that are
waiting for me to fail and that gives me
the juice that I need but I try not to
spend a lot of time thinking about that
so be thoughtful in your own life but
both are powerful and I would learn how
to wield both tools
how do you stay up and positive when you
keep getting kicked down things get
worse and before you know it uh you're
buried neck deep and completely lost as
to what to do how do you get back to
Center and Beyond can you break down
step by step how to train your brain to
move past how you see yourself
yes I can so here is how to think about
yourself
number one
recognize that you are hopelessly
average
that way you don't have to think of
yourself as special because that
negative voice in your head is going to
constantly tell you that you're not
special so now just admit you're average
and given the distribution curve the
odds of you being average are
extraordinarily high so your average you
meet what I call minimum requirements so
if you're asking this question you are
smart enough to do all of the amazing
things you want to do in your life you
may not be the best in the world at them
but you'll be able to do extraordinary
things that are going to Dazzle yourself
and other people so step one recognize
that you are average
Step 2 recognize that you're an average
human and the average human has become
the apex predator of all apex predators
because of one simple principle it is
not the strongest of the species that
survive nor the most intelligent but
rather the most adaptive to change as
the average human you are the most
adaptive creature the world has ever
seen so now even being an average
adapter you're going to be able to do
things that are incredible it's what I
call the only belief that matters the
only belief that matters is that if you
put time and energy into getting better
at something you will get better
the second part of this idea is that
skills have utility so you're putting
time and energy into gaining skills and
those