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Language: en
one thing that people do not understand
is that you can literally change the way
that you think you can re-wire your
brain and develop a mindset that can
lead you to achieving whatever it is
that you set your mind to and are
willing to pay the price to actually
achieve but the question is how if you
want to know how to develop a growth
mindset and achieve your dreams
definitely pay attention to this episode
if you want to be successful mindset is
everything the reason that mindset is so
important is at the end of the day only
execution matters so if you have big
dreams if you have goals something that
you're trying to accomplish in your life
you're going to have to execute against
that so why do I say that mindset is so
important in that scenario the reason is
that ultimately to achieve the things
you want to achieve I can promise you
when you start out you're not good
enough yet to achieve that and or you
don't have the right plan and so the way
to refine the plan to actually do the
thing that you want to accomplish you're
going to have to run through what I call
the physics of progress the physics of
progress are very simple they require
you to have a hypothesis which is simply
your best guess this is what I think I
have to do to achieve my goals then
you're going to turn that into something
you can do you're going to do that thing
it's going to fail to some degree that's
just the way it works but failure is the
most information Rich data stream on
planet Earth but to accurately assess
the data and figure out what it's
telling you about why you failed to some
extent or why it was more
inefficient than it needs to be
you have to be willing to stare nakedly
at your own inadequacies take
responsibility for the outcome not make
it somebody else's fault or the
economy's fault or whatever any external
Force if you're making it an external
problem you're never going to be able to
learn the lesson you need to learn in
order to improve your behavior so that
you can then execute better and make
more progress that really is it that's
the physics of progress hypothesis
turn it into something actionable run
that action learn from the partial
failure get a little bit smarter
come up with a new hypothesis that is
more informed turn it into something
actionable run that it will fail again
to some degree figure out why by
lowering your defenses having a growth
mindset making sure that you are able to
take on the responsibility now why is
that a mindset question why can't you
just run that equation if it really is
that simple the answer is you have in
your brain something called the
psychological immune system this is
something given to you by millions of
years of evolution we should all be
extremely grateful for it and the
psychological immune system's job is to
make sure that you don't commit suicide
it is designed to make you feel better
about things it's the reason why you can
mess up make a mistake and you can
soothe yourself now the problem is that
the goal of the psychological immune
system is not for you to achieve your
goals it's simply to make sure that you
feel good enough about yourself that you
can keep moving through life
now the reason that that becomes wildly
problematic and is one of the most
important things you have to address in
your mindset if you're going to be
successful is because the number one
tool that your psychological immune
system works to soothe your ego is to
make everything somebody else's fault it
is the fault of the government it is the
fault of rich people it is the fault of
not being born the right color not being
born the right sex so on and so forth it
is making something the external problem
now here's the really bad news your
psychological immune system is going to
grab for a very valid excuse those
things that I listed may all be true
they may really all be holding you back
the problem is you want to know what the
right mindset for success is and if you
want to be successful you are going to
have to overcome a endless parade of
problems and to overcome the endless
parade of problems you have to have a
way to take responsibility
for what you can do differently to
overcome those problems instead of being
annoyed instead of shutting down instead
of just pointing the finger you want to
adapt your behavior it sucks that the
second law of Thermodynamics is that all
things move towards chaos
it sucks that humans are so complicated
and so weird that we don't just lift
each other and love each other which we
do and is amazing we tear each other
down we kill each other man read history
books it will terrify you about how
brutal humans can be it is crazy how
many different times and places
throughout history we have just
slaughtered people in Mass numbers in
the most horrifying way that you can
possibly imagine so if humans can slide
all the way to that level of depraved
Madness and we know that everything
moves towards chaos how do we bring the
massive amount of order
that we have to bring to the world so
that we can March ever long towards
success and actually achieve it
the only way to overcome chaos the only
way to overcome entropy which is the
fancy name for chaos is to pour energy
into the system so you have to
constantly pour energy into your own
life to make sure that you're making
progress to your goals if you're going
to eventually achieve success and the
only way that you're going to be able to
do that is to have a growth mindset now
really simply a growth mindset is that
you believe that your talent and
intelligence are not fixed traits that
you can get better at something as you
put time and energy into getting better
at that thing it's what I call the only
belief that matters the only belief that
matters is that by applying time and
energy into something you will actually
get better at it now once you believe
that everything in your life Downstream
of that gets better because now you know
oh I messed up at this thing I suck at
that thing the world is trying to stop
me from doing that thing the world is a
effective at stopping me from doing that
thing a word all I need to do is go and
get better and I can outperform people
as Kobe Bryant said and this has become
my favorite quote in the world
booze don't block dunks now what did he
mean by that he meant
that no matter what you can get so good
that people can't stop you
people were paid millions of dollars to
stop Kobe Bryant from scoring points and
yet he scored 81 points in a single game
just by getting better than other people
getting better than other people
requires you to have a growth mindset
that's the growth part you're going to
get better
so that when you fail and you will fail
over and over and over and over and over
and over and over again
and it's going to be embarrassing it's
going to hurt and all that but when you
fail
if you believe oh failing means that I'm
a failure because my talent and
intelligence are fixed traits there's
nothing I can do to get better you will
stop why wouldn't you it's the only
thing that makes sense
but if on the other hand you believe
that oh
I can get better at this I'm not good
enough yet but I can get good enough by
applying time and energy into getting
better so now you'll apply that time and
energy because you believe that it will
yield the outcome that you want and that
is why it is so critical to get your
mind right so that you can run that Loop
of the physics of progress because watch
how it breaks down if you don't have a
growth mindset I have a hypothesis hey
this is what I need to do I'm going to
try this thing I tried it oh my God I
failed it's embarrassing I'm hurt
emotionally people are making fun of me
my parents are telling me I told you so
oh my God like I don't want to keep
going and by the way this is making me
really feel badly about myself so now
I'm going to Stew over it I'm going to
think about this all the time why did I
fail man I'm cool I didn't do anything
wrong oh I failed because the world
sucks the world's against me
all the reasons that people make up not
even makeup all the very valid reasons
that you were stopped if you have a
fixed mindset you're going to tell
yourself that you're going to take those
excuses because they make you feel
better about yourself and in that moment
of emotional crisis that happens every
time we fail you're going to reach for
whatever makes you feel better
if on the other hand you have a growth
mindset when you hit that moment you're
going to be like okay cool I need to get
better at this I'm going to have to
transform my potential into usable skill
set and then execute against that then
you can reformulate or hypothesis come
up with a better action to do run that
and even though it will fail again to
some extent you'll have made more
progress and when you iterate on that
Loop enough just relentlessly getting
better trying new things making
incremental Improvement
then you win and that is the only path
to success once you decide that you're
going to really pursue success you have
to start asking yourself a fundamental
question around the growth mindset if
getting a growth mindset is difficult
what is the opposite of that
the opposite of a growth mindset is a
fixed mindset
now if a growth mindset is defined as I
believe that my talent and intelligence
are malleable traits meaning that I can
actually get better at something
a fixed mindset is the opposite that
your Delta hand of cards genetically and
it just is what it is and so your life
is really about doing the best you can
with the hand that you've been dealt but
there's nothing that you can do to
improve I want to aggressively debunk
that myth
so the human animal every species has to
choose to either be born with all of the
things you're going to need to do to go
be that thing so a cat is born with all
the things that needs to be a cat a
horse is born with all the things that
needs to be a horse so on and so forth
and so that's why 20 minutes after being
born a horse can do all of the things
that that horse is going to do it's up
it's walking around you can run all of
that imagine humans getting up and
running around 20 minutes after being
born we would lose our minds we'd freak
out what is going on that that is a a
child unlike any other child in all of
human history
because we have the ability to adapt and
so we chose a very different strategy so
all animals bifurcate between those two
things the vast majority come with
almost all or all of things
pre-programmed they just do it
instinctively you don't have to be
taught now of course they're going to be
things that the margins how to better
hunt and what stream to go to and all
that so there's some amount of that that
is going to be learned in the wild but
they're going to be able to do most of
the things like the vast majority 90
plus percent of the things right after
being born
humans on the other hand can't even hold
their own head up they can't even hold
their own head up for months so we have
taken a totally different path which is
the path of adaptation Now by choosing
that path we have become the most
dominant Predator the world has ever
seen so the question becomes what is it
about a about that setup that means that
we need to leverage a growth mindset and
completely debunks this idea of a fixed
mindset
we know that humans the average human is
designed to grow and get better that's
what we do that's the evolutionary
strategy that we've chosen so if we know
that the average human is designed to
grow and get better it becomes a
question of are you creating a frame of
reference about how you view the world
that gets you to take advantage of that
the reason that so many people peak in
their teenage years and they don't
continue to get better is they have a
fixed mindset so what ends up happening
is they go and they try out for
basketball to use my own example since
this was something I struggled with and
I was so unbelievably bad at basketball
it never occurred to me that if I
actually worked at practice that I would
get better so since I was so embarrassed
by my lack of talent in basketball I was
always trying to hide on the bench I
didn't want people to pass me the ball
if they pass me the ball I would panic I
was never thinking about oh how do I get
better like go home practice dribbling
practice shooting that didn't even occur
to me I was just like I'm bad at this
thing I'm never going to get good at
this thing and so I just didn't try
right and it was all about hiding if I
had realized wait a second the average
human is actually designed to get better
now it is very important to note that we
are not playing slights so if LeBron
James and I had grown up together done
all the same things I dribbled the ball
just as many times as he did I had the
same coaches as he did I shot as many
free throws practiced step for step in
the way that he did odds are I'm never
gonna get as good as he's gonna get he's
much taller than I am he is far more
explosive and athletic he may have a
mind that is way better suited to
tracking the different things you have
to do on the court from reading the
court understanding the other players
moving his body all of it I don't know
because I never pushed myself but I'm
gonna guess that he's pretty Elite from
the part of us that is hardwired now
science seems to indicate that we are
roughly 50 hardwired and 50 malleable so
the odds of me becoming the next LeBron
James at basketball is vanishingly Slim
though admittedly I never tried at the
peak of my physical prowess so I can't
rule it out but I am going to say that
that doesn't strike me as the right use
of my time and energy but once you
realize that a growth mindset is real
you realize that you can get let's just
call it a hundred times better at
anything now if you start at a way worse
position because you don't have the
mental or physical gifts that somebody
else has in the 50 that's hardwired the
end point of your 100 times better may
be radically different than that person
fair enough but once you realize wait a
second anything in my life I can get 100
times better that becomes the central
question of your life once you have a
growth mindset and You Begin applying
that growth mindset now it's a question
of how far can you go if you have a
growth mindset because you can take
yourself
extraordinarily far in an area where
you've got some positive momentum from
the 50 percent of you that is hardwired
so finding that thing that you both love
and have a natural inclination and two
and then slather on top of that an
obscene amount of work and if you look
at somebody like Kobe Bryant who
inspires the life out of me that guy
worked so hard to get good and put that
on top of his already
immeasurable gifts but I would like to
point out that Not only was he one of
the greatest basketball players of all
time he won an Academy Award he won an
Academy Award for a film that he made so
Not only was he able to dominate in a
sport that you could say arguably he had
some really natural talents I doubt that
he also had an equal amount of Talent on
the filmmaking side and that hearing him
talk about it he went out and found the
greatest Minds in filmmaking and learned
from them worked with them to create
something that really was a breathtaking
Masterpiece and so understanding that
that if you 100x your abilities in an
area it will be such a meaningful
transformation in your life that your
life in that area will be unrecognizable
on the other side of that energy and
effort and that ultimately is the
difference between a fixed mindset and a
growth mindset because the person with a
fixed mindset may have had not only the
same 50 percent as somebody who goes on
to be very successful the hardwired 50
they might be ahead
and this is why when you have people
that outwork somebody that has more
natural Talent than them they end up
going farther now of course the person
that has both the natural talent and the
insane work ethic is going to go farther
than the person without the natural
talent and only the insane work ethic
but since let me spoiler alert on the
human existence
most people quit most people give up
they just
life is going to batter you about
there's going to be so much difficulty
in your life there's going to be failure
pain suffering emotional trauma uh
embarrassment all of that just it it
chips away at the average person because
they aren't relentlessly focused on a
growth mindset and they're building
their self-esteem around being right
better faster stronger if on the other
hand they would focus on the growth
mindset they would realize that they can
get better and they put all of their
energy and effort into creating that
frame of reference so that they're
viewing the world in a way that is
optimistic and encouraging them to go in
and put that energy and effort into
something now because they're seeing
that incremental Improvement when the
world is knocking them about they
realize oh I can get better at this I
can outperform more people and so
they're going to be more resilient and
they're not going to be as easy to shut
down they're not going to be as easy to
break and so the people that I have
found that are the most resilient in
life they they have the most intensely
developed growth mindset and that's part
of the key you really do have to develop
a growth mindset while some people
pretty early on Realize like oh when I
encounter something difficult I don't
have to back down or give in I can
actually push myself grow and get better
there's limits to that for most people
and so it really is something that even
if you have the beginnings of a growth
mindset you want to make sure that
you're sharpening that sharpening that
sharpening that and really proving to
yourself just how much is possible while
it's outside the scope of this answer I
will say this is why I think that
transforming your physique is one of the
most potent things you can do to
transform your mind because it will show
you very
visually and viscerally that you can go
in not being able to lift a weight you
can work your way up to something and
that over time you literally transform
your body your strength and are capable
of doing things you weren't capable of
doing before if you could see what's
happening to your brain I think far more
people would push themselves into that
zone because they would realize like
whoa I'm really able to get more out of
myself now than I was a year ago three
years ago five years ago and getting
people into that zone where they see the
kind of gains they're making that's
really critical to getting them to
continue to crystallize their belief in
the growth mindset which going back to
what I said earlier gives them the only
belief that matters which is that if I
put energy and effort into getting
better I will actually get better which
means that they will continue to pour
themselves into getting better at
something and that's the path forward
but you have to be willing to sharpen
your growth mindset if you don't do that
then you're are going to be very easy to
knock off course because life is going
to prove to you that you really aren't
good enough to achieve Grand goals and
so that's what ends up breaking somebody
with a fixed mindset because they they
are constantly confronted with their
inadequacies that feels like a life
sentence they don't think that they're
ever going to be able to improve and so
the negative way that they feel about
themselves when they're beaten by
somebody else because For Better or
Worse we are a comparative creature We
compare ourselves to other people all
the time so in that moment of comparison
somebody with a fixed mindset is like
they're better than me they will always
be better than me I will never achieve
what they've achieved I will never have
what they have and then where does that
lead this is all unfair where does that
lead the psychological immune system
kicks in what is the psychological
immune system do it presents you the
external reasons why things are the way
that they are assures you that none of
this is your fault which means that you
don't retain your power you don't look
at what you could be doing to make a
change to get a better result and
remember the psychological immune system
is pointing out real things it's
pointing out valid excuses but if you
take those excuses and sit in that fixed
mindset you're not going to get where
you want to go and this is the thing I'm
obsessed with in my life
read a lot of Internet comments and I
see over and over and over people
looking at other people that are more
successful than they are and they meet
it with vitriol they are so angry the
system is broken I'm not saying it's not
but that's what they're focused on the
system is broken this person has scammed
the world let's say that they have let's
say that the system is broken and that
person has scammed the world how does
that help you how does that push you
towards your goals how does giving up
and saying it's all so corrupt we're
never going to get anywhere think about
the greatest people in history the
people that have just done insane things
my go-to is always Nelson Mandela I
cannot imagine
other than outright slavery I cannot
imagine a system more stacked against
somebody than what happened to Nelson
Mandela he was put in prison and
literally treated like a slave for 27
years and yet came out of that and
helped unite a country and moved people
forward and so he had every excuse at
his disposal as to why he couldn't make
something of his life and he becomes one
of the most important people in modern
history guys don't grab excuses not
because they're not real not because
they're not valid don't grab excuses
because it will stop you from achieving
what you want to achieve in your life
the greatest walking Among Us are all
the people that realize yeah these are
valid these are very real reasons why
it's harder for me than somebody else
and this sucks and I wish it wasn't so
but they deal with the world the way
that it is not the way they wish it were
and the way that the world is is you can
get better at anything if you have a
growth mindset you can 100x your
abilities and if you stay focused you
don't break you don't give in there's
virtually no limit to what you can
accomplish the truth is hitting your
career goals is not easy you have to be
willing to go the extra mile to stand
out and do hard things better than
anybody else but there are 10 steps I
want to take you through that will 100x
your efficiency so you can crush your
goals and get back more time into your
day you'll not only get control of your
time you'll learn how to use that
momentum to take on your next big goal
to help you do this I've created a list
of the 10 most impactful things that any
High achiever needs to dominate and you
can download it for free by clicking the
link in today's description alright my
friend back to today's episode
foreign
there's something that's really
important to remember you become what
you repeat so people that are high
Achievers they do not allow themselves
to repeat anything that diminishes their
sense of self that diminishes their will
to push forward that diminishes their
sense of I can improve at this thing
over time so high Achievers are putting
themselves in an optimistic State the
reason they need to be in an optimistic
state is because going back to the first
answer mindset is everything if you
believe that by putting energy and
effort into trying to achieve your goals
you can actually achieve your goals you
will keep pushing forward if you believe
that no matter what you do you are going
to fail why would you keep trying you
wouldn't and this is why so many people
throw their hands up and they give up
because they don't believe that by going
after their goals they're actually going
to make it so a high achiever is
somebody that no matter what they
encounter no matter how many
difficulties they run into they're gonna
say things like there is a solution to
this problem they're going to say things
like I can get better at this they're
going to say things like I may not be
good enough yet but I can get good
enough they say things like with enough
time and energy I can 100x my abilities
in anything they say things like one of
my favorite phrases on a long enough
timeline I can beat anyone at anything
now secretly that one isn't a hundred
percent true but it's the kind of phrase
that even though I know at the edges
that it isn't true so many people give
up along the way that if I just keep
going and keep stacking skills and keep
getting better I know that I can beat
the vast majority of humanity at
virtually anything which is exactly how
I've been able to have the success that
I've had I am not smarter than the
average person but man I am way harder
to break than the average person I am
way more consistent than the average
person I am constantly reminding myself
I can get better but it takes a massive
amount of time and energy that's another
thing I remind myself everything is
moving towards chaos at all times people
are trying to stop me actively the world
is unintentionally trying to stop me the
world is complex humans are difficult
humans are complex life is confusing
life is chaotic and it takes a
tremendous amount of energy but another
thing that high Achievers tell
themselves if I focus on what I could do
differently if I hold on to the fact
that my life is an exact reflection of
my choices but that one's sinking my
life is an exact reflection of my
choices if when I was born I look like
my parents when I die I look like my
choices I cannot remember who I first
heard say that but man that one gives me
the chills when we're born we look like
our parents when we die we look like our
choices
that one's sexy I'm not gonna lie so if
you stay focused on that as high
Achievers do then you begin going okay
there is something that I could do here
to level up my skill set that would
allow me to do something different that
would allow me to get a different
outcome and that's the goal if you
retain control if you don't say oh this
is society's problem this is that person
that tried to stop me's problem what
could I do differently this is my
problem to solve what could I do
differently to get a different outcome
if you stay focused on that you will for
sure or be able to achieve more than
somebody who doesn't now the key is that
you become what you repeat so be very
thoughtful not only to tell yourself all
of those things but you want to make
sure that you pattern interrupt if
you're telling yourself something
negative so so many people that get
stuck again psychological immune system
will come to your Aid so if you're
repeating yourself I'm dumb I'm stupid
I'm not good enough of that I don't have
enough talent I don't come from the
right background all of that then your
psychological immune system is going to
want to soothe your ego around that and
so you're going to find a way to make
those things somebody else's fault and
you're going to start moving yourself
into the zone of not trying giving up
coasting going easy doing what I used to
do which is put myself in smaller and
smaller rooms with people that were at
my level of intellect or lower rather
than people that really pushed me to get
better
so if you're saying negative things like
that if you're developing a negative
world view like that you need to pattern
interrupt that there's an amazing book
called feeling great by David D Burns
read that book it talks about cognitive
behavioral therapy and the way that you
can use pattern interrupts to stop
yourself from repeating things that are
self-destructive and to get yourself out
of cognitive
Illusions so you want to be very careful
and to help you get out of cognitive
distortions you want to make sure that
you're not looking at the world through
a distorted lens of your own creation
okay that is how you leverage the things
that you repeat to get ahead and stop
yourself from repeating things that are
going to hold you back my journey to
developing a growth mindset was a very
long journey I had a fixed mindset for
my entire life until I was about 25. now
look there were Shades in there where I
was beginning to grasp that something
was going on uh but my journey went like
this as a kid I believe that my talent
and intelligence were fixed traits I did
not believe that I could improve them
and so I thought okay like I'm you know
average-ish and I knew that I was more
verbal than most people and so I
certainly tried to leverage that to my
benefit but as I got older I started
encountering people that were better
faster stronger smarter than me and it
really began to damage my sense of self
now when I was 15 around there I was
introduced to the dowdishing and
thankfully before that I had seen the
movie The Empire Strikes Back which
introduced me to Yoda and I thought Yoda
was amazing I love the way that he
talked and later in life I would realize
just how real his advice was and the
doujing sounded so much like Yoda that I
was immediately drawn to it I was like
oh my God this is so incredible and I
realized now looking back that the dowdy
Gene was really what planted the idea of
a growth mindset because it talks about
the cognitive distortions that we get
into the mental illusions that we all
live under and how what I now call frame
of reference that we're all looking at
the world through a really warped mirror
and by looking at the world to a warped
mirror we see a warped version of
reality and that can either hold us back
or it can Propel us forward now I had a
frame of reference that was holding me
back because I had a fixed mindset I did
not recognize that the human animal as a
species shows adaptation as our primary
strategy of advancement so we're born
helpless but over time we're able to
drink very deeply from culture knowledge
stacks and so now somebody born today
doesn't have to relearn uh the printing
press printing presses just exist and so
you take all of human knowledge and
we're able to live on the top of that
and just keep building things moving
forward it's incredibly extraordinary
what the human animal has been able to
accomplish by choosing the strategy of
adaptation so that we can learn from
people we don't come pre-hardwired with
everything we learn as we go and that
means that we can take advantage of all
the things that have come before us so
it's really really exceptional but I did
not have that frame of reference and
therefore I did not realize that oh just
because I suck at these things uh
doesn't mean that I can't go and get
good at them and so what I was doing
despite that I had these early seeds
planted in my mind around these
cognitive Illusions and distortions I
was really afraid that I was not going
to be able to get good enough at the
things I needed to be good at in order
to make my dreams come true so I've
always been very ambitious but I was
also terrified that I wasn't going to be
able to achieve the things I wanted to
achieve and so that was really
devastating for me and so as I got older
and life slapped me around and I met
people that were better than me at
things that I really wanted to be be
great at it really started to make me
feel badly about myself and so to avoid
feeling badly about myself I started
putting myself in smaller and smaller
rooms by putting myself in smaller and
smaller rooms I was reducing the
likelihood of me achieving the goals
that I wanted to achieve one I wasn't
around the kind of people that would be
able to help me two I wasn't around
people that were pushing me to get
better right because I didn't think that
I could get better so that didn't seem
worthwhile and then three because I
wasn't around people that were pushing
me and I wasn't in an environment that
was helping me grow I wasn't growing and
therefore wasn't able to actually make
progress towards my goals and so I was
doing things that made me feel better
about myself and it actually did work
that's the Sinister part about all of
this by putting myself in rooms with
people that were less ambitious than me
people that were if I'm the average
person people that weren't as smart as
me that made me feel awesome and so the
reality is I was feeling good I as I was
moving farther and farther away from my
goals so thankfully my ambition
continued to propel me to rethink what I
was doing so you know imagine me now I'm
sort of 21 22 and I'm starting to think
I've graduated from college I'm not at
all moving towards my goals I'm not
quite sure what to make of this and I
was like how do I really go and get what
I want out of life and I realized I'm
profoundly lazy I'm not even trying to
take the steps that I would need so hey
let me start putting myself out there
because I was highly verbal I put myself
into situations where my verbal ability
would shine that began to open doors for
me and then I started getting in rooms
of uh entrepreneurial rooms it's
probably the right way to think about it
just as an employee but in an
entrepreneurial environment and I
realized that being in that environment
was really making me feel badly about
myself because the people around me were
so much smarter than me meaning that
they were able to process raw data
faster than me like even all these years
later now that don't struggle with that
sense of inferiority I still recognize
that some people can just process data
faster than others so I know that's one
of the things that I have to work around
I need to optimize for that know thyself
right I still have a growth mindset I
know I can 100x myself in any area but
understanding where you are what things
are harder for you easier for you is
useful so at the time though I was
looking at the world through this
distorted mirror of not yet fully
realizing how much better I could get
but having Yoda's words in my head
having the Dao de Jing's words and you
know echoing in my head realizing maybe
I can get better if I push myself but
I'm in this environment I'm really not
feeling good about who I am and so I had
this moment of Crisis and what ended up
happening was I knew that that
entrepreneurial environment was the
thing that was going to move me towards
my goal of getting wealthy
but I finally could articulate in words
that I had actually been optimizing my
life for feeling smart
and so there was the the moment of
Crisis became very acute when I was
arguing for an idea in the
entrepreneurial environment I was
arguing for an idea because it was mine
even though I knew it was bad for the
business and because I was aware both of
the fact that whoa this idea that I'm
really arguing for is terrible for the
business and that I really wanted to win
and I really wanted them to implement
this idea and I was like why am I doing
that I'm like okay because it's my idea
why do I care about it being my idea
because I want to feel smart why would
winning this make me feel smart because
they would have done the thing that I
presented I would have convinced them to
do my thing and if I could convince them
of that that means that I'm smarter than
they are or at least that they are
giving me the the Accolade by following
my idea that gives me the feedback loop
that I'm smarter than they are that they
think I'm smarter and so I'm sitting
there going none of this really makes
sense and so I'm like what do I actually
want and so for the first time in my
life and this ended up being a Line in
the Sand it's the only thing in my life
that I can say is a line in the sand
that before this realization my life was
one way and after this realization I had
a growth mindset and my life was a
different way and the realization was
that I was building my self-esteem
around being right and that if I
continued to build my self-esteem around
being right I was gonna have to leave
that company and go somewhere else where
I was around people that weren't as
smart as me so I could feel good about
myself and that I would be right more
often and I thought wow it's weird so
which goal do I care more about do I
care about getting wealthy or do I care
about feeling smart and I realized that
I cared more about achieving my goals
let's say that because I don't chase
money anymore so I cared more about my
goals okay if I care more about my goals
and I know that I'm not good enough yet
to get where I want to go then I'm gonna
have to really Embrace unfortunately
Carol dweck had not written her book
mindset that defined a growth mindset so
I didn't have that word but a path of
self-improvement I'm going to go down
this path of self-improvement
aggressively now to do that I need to
feel good about myself I realize pretty
quickly that I couldn't just go okay I'm
going to be fine coming in here and
feeling like a [ __ ] every day I knew
that wasn't going to work because I
built my self-esteem around being smart
so I was like okay well if I am going to
come in and do things that aren't as
good as they're going to need to be and
I'm going to embarrass myself and not
only look stupid but actually be stupid
meaning uneducated in an area that I
need to become educated and that since
being willing to make those mistakes and
looking stupid is a necessary part of
expedient growth what can I do with my
self-esteem that will allow me to really
Propel myself forward and the answer was
I could begin building my self-esteem
not around being right but around
identifying the right answer
I could build my self-esteem around
being the learner and by building my
self-esteem around being the learner now
I could fail now I could embarrass
myself now I could stare nakedly at my
inadequacies and I would actually feel
better about myself because I was
building my ego my self-esteem my sense
of self around being willing to admit
when I was wrong being willing to admit
that I had made a mistake being willing
to admit that I wasn't good enough yet
but that I could get better but I had to
lower my defenses I had to stop using
the psychological immune system to make
it somebody else's fault I had to take
responsibility for my choices I had to
take responsibility for my skill set I
had to take responsibility for my energy
and effort and I had to get better and
by doing that and taking a longer view
of my life and saying okay this is going
to take time I'm going to have to
embarrass myself a lot but I really am
going to get better I started to have
success so it was a very emotionally
volatile Journey that I went on that
required wired that moment of absolute
crisis of having
the two conflicting values in my life
being brought to bear in one moment
where I realized that I was in one way
moving away from my goal of being
successful and in another way moving
towards my goal of feeling smart and I
was like whoa wow that's really dumb
that doesn't make any sense and by not
judging myself in that moment and I was
just like I was so devastated
emotionally that I was like
emotional rock bottom
so I said no judgment whatever the
answer is the answer is just be honest
with yourself do you want to be
successful or do you want to be right
and I realized that I would rather be
successful and that forced me to pursue
a path of self-development and so from
that moment forward I've never looked
back and it's just been all growth
mindset all the time the most harmful
self-talk that anyone can ever use and
it will hold them back forever is this
isn't my fault if I could say
the most controversial thing I've ever
said the thing that has generated more
anger towards me and I was so shocked by
this
everything is your fault yes I know that
is a word that triggers people I say
that so that if you can face yourself
and say everything is my fault then I
know that you're not going to stop part
way to taking responsibility for the
choices in your life and look of course
I know that not everything is your fault
and if you were hit by a drunk driver
that's not your fault but I would tell
myself that that is my fault the reason
is I want to remind myself that I can
keep my power that I could have made a
different choice I didn't have to get in
the car right of course I don't control
that they drink and I am not in any way
shape or form interested in somebody who
has been the victim of anything in their
life to feel badly about having been
victimized I'm just saying don't let
yourself take on the identity of the
victim even when you are victimized
because it puts you in a defensive
posture I want to be on the offensive I
want to go after things in my life I
don't ever want somebody or something to
hold me me back and the easiest way to
let someone or something hold you back
is to take on the identity of the victim
so please don't get lost in that idea I
get it somebody's had horrible things
happen to them I don't want them to feel
badly either I don't want anyone to feel
badly about things that have happened to
them I want them to maintain their
emotional sovereignty to not let a
terrible thing Define them to instead
remember at any time you can
metaphorically take up arms you can grab
your sword you can go fight you can get
better at things you can Elevate
yourself people cannot stop you if you
get good enough but if you are
constantly like I'm in this position
because of something that happened to me
because of things outside of my control
your life won't become what you and I
want your life to become I don't say
this for my own sake this is something
I've already realized in my life if I
take responsibility for everything
there's virtually nothing I can
accomplish I already know that my
success is evidence in my life of the
reality of that fact but I worry about a
lot of other people that unfortunately
have ended up with a frame of reference
that makes them feel like things are out
of their control and even though yes I
know there are things that are out of
your control there's nothing I can do to
stop the Sun from rising tomorrow but I
would never allow myself to feel
helpless so the example that I always
give people is imagine that we
discovered tomorrow that an asteroid is
streaking towards Earth Collision Course
guaranteed this is a extinction level
event in that moment I'm not going to
say oh this isn't my fault I'm going to
say this is my fault now how do I know
beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's my
fault because there is a group right now
that tracks what are called near-earth
objects I know they exist but I've never
given them a dime of my money I've never
sent them an email with encouraging
words or ideas and ways that they could
do that better or that they could be
more prepared if something were coming
towards us and I could do that and even
though I'm telling you this story right
now I'm still not going to do that
because I don't think that's the highest
use of my time but I wouldn't fool
myself into thinking that there was
nothing that I could have done
differently that might have had an
impact now the reason that I live my
life that way even though that you and I
both know that if an asteroid is coming
like especially at the last minute like
am I really the person that's going to
be contributing to that probably not but
I'm glad that there are people in the
world that look at astronomically large
problems and don't say oh there's
nothing I can do they start going no
[ __ ] what would it take what would
we have to do in order to have a
positive outcome here it is very easy in
life to throw up your hands and say man
this is out of my control and there are
so many things that are so overwhelming
that I get why people say okay that's
not going to be the thing that I'm going
to put my energy into I'm going to put
my energy over here but the key
difference is when you do that please
don't trick yourself into thinking
there's nothing that you could do it may
not be where you want to spend your time
and it may be a drop in the ocean of
what actually needs to be done but if
you feel like there's really no way that
I could contribute that becomes the
frame of reference through which you
view your life and even though it's
probably a little bit like screaming
into the void to think that I can stop
an asteroid from smashing into the Earth
all the things that we've done as a
species and at some point
the moon landing it's become so cliche
but really think about that how hard
would that be to to leave the Earth it's
crazy to land on the moon and then come
back safely it's insane and that
required somebody to go no we can figure
that out and that is all that separates
people that go on to be very successful
from people that get stuck is when
people that go on to be successful hit a
what seems like an insurmountable
obstacle they say to themselves there's
a solution here there is a solution here
I may not know it yet I may not be the
person that is capable of solving that
problem yet but there is a solution and
when you stay in a solution-oriented
mindset now you really have a chance of
doing something because you have that
frame of reference that is like the only
belief that matters which is that oh
this problem is solvable that means that
if I put in the time and energy to solve
this problem I may actually make
progress and that is exactly what you
need in order to get momentum going in
your life so please I'm begging you even
though I get it and I don't ever want
somebody to feel badly about themselves
because something bad happened to them I
also don't want people to give up their
power remember you can always do
something different to get a different
outcome you can always get better at
something and there really is always a
solution what is up my friend Tom bilyu
here and I have a big question to ask
you how would you rate your level of
personal discipline on a scale of one to
ten if your answer is anything less than
a ten I've got something cool for you
and let me tell you right now discipline
by its very nature means compelling
yourself to do difficult things that are
stressful boring which is what kills
most people or possibly scary or even
painful now here is the thing achieving
huge goals and stretching to reach your
potential requires you to do those
challenging stressful things and to
stick with them even when it gets boring
and it will get boring building your
levels of personal discipline is not
easy but let me tell you it pays off in
fact I will tell you you're never going
to achieve anything meaningful unless
you develop discipline all right I've
just released a class from Impact Theory
university called how to build Ironclad
discipline that teaches you the process
of building yourself up in this area so
that you can push yourself to do the
hard things that greatness is going to
require of you right click the link on
the screen register for this class right
now and let's get to work I will see you
inside this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
one of the most hotly debated things
when I was growing up was is brain
plasticity really real can you actually
rewire your brain or said the way that
it was said when I was growing up can
you teach an old dog new tricks now
here's the great news this answer has
been put to bed it is 100 true you can
actually see video footage of it
happening you can rewire your brain at
any age so you're 98 and you're on your
deathbed you can still rewire your brain
now of course you can rewire your brain
a lot easier when you're a kid and kids
are hyper malleable and it definitely
gets harder as we get older but it does
not ever get impossible so please
remember no matter what if you put time
energy and repetition into something
your brain is going to rewire now you
rewire based on repetition because your
brain is always trying to be efficient
it represents something like two or
three percent of your body mass and yet
takes up 25 of the energy requirements
of your body your brain is a caloric hog
and since evolutionarily speaking
calories were hard to come by your brain
is constantly trying to do things to
optimize itself think about a computer
that's running hot it's trying to lower
the resource requirements and if you get
what they call memory leaks in a
computer the computer crashes the same
is true of the brain so evolution is
made sure that we don't have these
memory leaks that we close those apps
that are running in the background of
the mind so that you don't need to use
as many resources one of the ways that
it does it is a process called
myelination myelination is what people
mean when they talk about rewiring your
brains actually two parts it's where the
end of the neurons find each other and
they connect and they wrap around each
other okay that's the first part of
rewiring and they will actually if you
stop using them they will this connect
and they will search for something new
again you can see footage of this go on
YouTube Nobody's guessing at this we
know this is what happens now when they
find each other and you repeat then what
they're going to do is they get
myelinated which is a fatty tissue that
is wrapped around those connection
points so that the electrical impulses
can travel faster more efficiently now
the catch is when you do that now what
you've introduced to your brain is an
easier way of doing something and
because your brain is constantly looking
for efficiencies it is going to do the
thing which is easier which is simply
the thing that you repeat as they say
neurons that fire together wire together
and they fire together because you're
doing it they wire together because
you're doing it a lot that's repetition
so if you repeat dumb things negative
things self-destructive things that's
going to become the easiest thing to
think so I guarantee you this is part of
depression and anxiety you're getting in
a loop it's not the only part but it is
part of that you are getting in a loop
because that's the easiest emotion to
feel it's the easiest thought to think
is the thing that