Kind: captions
Language: en
all right first question without further
Ado is from plastic funnel that's quite
the name is your answer to coping with
the feeling of being a fraud
uh in your answer that makes a lot more
sense in your answer to coping with the
feeling of being a fraud you sound like
a madman in your hunger to learn on a
long on a long enough timeline you will
win but where do you draw the line
between a self-reinforced delusion that
is strategically useful and not useful
it's a great question
so this is something that you have to
get really good at being able to hold
two competing ideas in your head at the
same time being able to feel like I
really have this I've got it I know what
I'm doing I'm moving forward full steam
ahead
and checking yourself and making sure
that that confidence isn't spilling over
into destructive delusion I won't even
say to monitor it just to make sure that
it's not spilling over into delusion
because almost certainly if you've never
done something before to believe that
you can is pure delusion to believe you
can learn on the other hand does not but
that's where you've got to have that
balance you've really got to believe
that you're going to pull this off that
you're going to figure it out that
somehow some way that you're going to be
the one that figures out when nobody
else could figure out and I'll say that
really is delusional statistically
speaking certainly and you have to then
check that against okay where where is
the the borders of usability here it's
good that I'm thinking like that it's
good that I have the energy it's good
and this is the most important part that
I have the willingness to act decisively
which is where most people fall down but
you really do have to then check
yourself and say okay where are my
points of weakness and what I find is a
lot of times what you need over here on
the I can do this side is a quiet
self-belief that's inside you you don't
have to trumpet that a lot but you need
that quiet self-belief what you need to
get other people rallied around you is
they need to see decisiveness they need
to see certainty there is so much
intoxication to certainty so now we've
got those things we believe in ourselves
our ability to learn and adapt cool our
team believes that we that we believe we
know what we're doing awesome and they
can get excited by that certainty the
clarity of vision they know exactly how
to execute there's no ambiguity there's
no confusion those are the things that
kill teams then on the other hand we
have an ability to very clearly
articulate to ourselves if nobody else
but oftentimes I do involve the team on
this
to articulate to ourselves what our
weakest points are and what the parts in
the puzzle that we're trying to solve
for now the reason I'm able to involve
the team in that is because they can see
that I'm not wavering on my certainty of
what to do so I'm saying do this go here
talk to this person say this get that
think about it like this then over here
I can say okay and now we're going to
flip it over we're going to look at the
underbelly of the strategy and see if
we're actually right and I'll walk
people through my logic now this is
where if your logic isn't sound your
team is going to revolt so my thing is
by the time I'm talking to the team and
certainly by the time that I'm revealing
my soft underbelly I have thought about
this so much that I really really have
the issue conceptualized and as long as
there's a logical through line in my
plan that the team can hold on to
they'll go okay I dig it his logic makes
sense and the punchline of his logic is
go do this for now we're going to
revisit it we're going to come check
back so there's a cell phone awareness
in the process of knowing I could be
wrong I'm always going to be checking
myself I'm going to be looking to see if
those things that I'm telling the team
to go do if they're actually
revealing or giving us results or not
and if they're not then we're going to
adjust strategy and because I've told
everybody where we're at but I've kept
everybody focused with the certainty the
clarity of the decisiveness then other
voices can be heard we're constantly
looking and checking at that but this
process of doing what they call Red Team
blue team where you're actively trying
to pick holes in your
um the the way your plan what you're
actually executing
those voices have been in the mix they
feel like they're being heard and that's
another critical part to keeping the
team going okay so there it is all right
Ray paulus how do you limit yourself
especially to New Opportunities
oftentimes they get overloaded with the
responsibility of each new opportunity
okay 80 of business is knowing what not
to do that's the really hard part
most people
have no dearth of opportunities and I
think that that has certainly been true
in my life I think that that's certainly
true for most people the real hard part
is being in that room with a thousand
doors and knowing which doors to close
so you have to get really good at
creating certainty at being decisive at
being willing to take a step and when it
comes to that honestly the thing that
I've noticed most is just a willingness
I'm trying to survive
the tail end of an illness here
the willingness to make a decision even
when you don't have all the information
that's really where we separate the
people that go on to win from the people
that just stand still because remember
the most data Rich information stream is
action whether that action is a win or a
loss
is somewhat irrelevant the whole point
is you have to be moving forward you
have to be acting decisively because
that gives you that data Rich
information stream
most people are so terrified to make a
mistake they're so paralyzed by
indecision because they don't know which
is right that they never make a decision
they never hit that data Rich stream and
they don't learn very fast and so they
move 10 times 20 times
100 times more slowly
than the next person who's willing to
act who's willing to make mistakes who's
not afraid to look stupid so that's the
key
as I'm sure you've heard said the only
thing we have to fear is fear itself
I will modify that and say the only
thing that we have to fear is indecision
man this cough is like really messing
with me
all right I had to give a talk today at
Google
and for the first like
10 minutes I sounded just like this like
I'm dying and then it wears off so
let me just bear with me I'll make sure
I give you nuggets of gold
yeah Conor is gonna hate his job today
all right
next question David beer I have a
question about how you research people
you
God
you mentioned how deep you go
understanding their world but how deep
do you really go specifically what is
your step-by-step
process I'm laughing at myself here
and how much time do you spend on it
all right so I really do go deep and I
spend probably average 10 to 12 hours on
a main episode guest
that's reading their book it's watching
all of their videos
um
and
doing all of that the key thing that I
do and this is where there's really two
things that I do that I think really
separate my style
number one I follow my Fascinations and
oftentimes my Fascination will lead me
to look up something really obscure
and in doing that I stumble upon
oftentimes like a real piece of humanity
and that's where people really really
end up connecting with the guests and
certainly that's where the guest ends up
connecting with me
and don't underestimate the power of the
guests connecting with me and then being
willing to lower their guard and that's
why a lot of times people say that I get
something out of people that other
people don't because the guest feels
very safe and that that's a really
critical part of my interview Style
so
um
one example of this was with Seth Godin
and I came across this tidbit where he
said
I once cried when
um Leonard Nimoy died
and I thought whoa that's so weird like
what would make him cry about that what
is that and so going down that rabbit
hole and trying to figure out what his
relationship is reading some of his blog
articles around that around characters
narration the difference between Star
Wars and um
and Star Trek
and you really start to get an
understanding of where he might go
now I don't always live by the following
Maxim but this may be one of the most
important
um things
if you're trying to copy my interview
Style
one of the most important things to know
is I try never to ask a question to
which I don't already know the answer
now hopefully it doesn't feel that way
hopefully it feels very spontaneous on
set
but the reality is I'm trying to take
the interview somewhere and
when it's something that really
fascinates me I want to understand why
they say that and the reason I
understand why they've said the saying
that fascinates me the reason I need to
understand that excuse me
is because I need to know if their
answer is going to be valuable to you
the audience that's that's huge right my
obligation is to you guys my obligation
is to figure out how do I take this
person somewhere where they hey haven't
already said this that thing a thousand
times and then B that when you hear this
new piece of information that they have
that you're actually going to be
interested so I'm always looking for
things that you guys can adapt into your
own life
and whenever something is an operational
level belief system then I'm really
excited so
in a nutshell those are the things that
I'm really trying to do I'm trying to
follow my own Fascination to make sure
that I'm really interested in what
they're saying so I can be super
authentic on set that they will feel
that they will feel really heard and
understood
Connie you're gonna have to cut all
these out man
it's just getting [ __ ] crazy
not yet
um so I want them to feel heard and
understood I want there to be a real
connection I want to be going a layer
deeper than anybody else
and I want to know I know how they're
going to answer that question so that I
can follow it up with another question
or if they say something
um and it takes us into new territory
maybe even my response catches me off
guard on set to something they say and
now we go somewhere new
um then I know how to bring it back
because I know all the areas that I want
to touch on because I really have a 360
degree view of the person all right so I
think that's enough on that
Jenna Robinson I'm currently reading
Mastery and there's a part where Robert
Greene says in your 20s you should go
through an apprenticeship phase does
this contradict your idea of having a
super specific goal where you can map
out every zigzag how would you do that
when you're in this experimental phase
of your life when you're trying to
figure out what career you want
so it doesn't contradict it they're just
different parts of your life different
times in your life
and the one of the most powerful parts
of the Mastery phase is that you've I
really identified what you want to do
and once you've identified what you want
to do going and working with the master
is one of the ways to really rapidly
gain the skills you need so there's two
parts there's the exploratory phase
where you're not sure what you want to
do and I wouldn't try to prematurely
optimize by going down the path of
gaining Mastery I would just try to
experience a lot of things I would play
with them I would dabble and see which
one really strikes your fancy once you
know which one really strikes your fancy
you're super interested that's the path
you want to go down
you maybe even begun going down the
process of getting Mastery already and
you realize I love this I love this
enough to put in the work I believe in
what it's going to bring to me in terms
of what mission it's going to allow me
to accomplish then
you go and engage with the master and
you pour yourself into that study and
working with them and in doing so
they're going to shorten your learning
curve which is incredibly incredibly
powerful so spending your 20s in that
phase if you've already gotten to the
point where you know that's what you
want to do then that's amazing
invitation to your 30s so be it but
before you start optimizing which is
what you're doing with the master you
want to make sure that you first know
that that really is the area that you
want to go down all right
Day Day many people do not execute on
their goals because they lack a Clear
Vision of all of their Pathways to
success how did you go about finding
options C and D instead of just choosing
a and b
um it's not really how I think about it
if I'm honest so what I do is I play a
game called No [ __ ] what would it
take and I try to work backwards from
success and I say that I'm working
backwards in a slightly different way
than I normally mean it what I'm talking
about is I find a path where anybody you
tell would be like yeah well 100 that
would work no one would do it it's crazy
it's not technologically feasible
whatever thing they say then after that
but yes if you could do that that would
work like if I said you had to commute
um
you know 20 miles in LA and you had to
do it in less than 30 minutes at rush
hour well what would you do you would
have to fly in a helicopter everybody
would say yep
that would work you can't afford it
but that would work and then you can
work backwards from there and you see
people doing things like building drones
now they carry a single person they
worked with the FAA to actually get them
legal so
that's how something like that is really
going to work is somebody started from
well I know what success looks like now
it becomes how do we make a feasible
version of that rather than what most
people do which is Think of where they
are today and think how impossible it
would be to get there in their car they
first started a car and then they
started thinking maybe they would do a
motorcycle okay that's working from
failure and trying to work forward
instead work from success something you
know guaranteed home run it works and
then look at what are the things that
stand in your way
and if some of the things that stand in
your way in the case of a helicopter
cost
then it becomes a question of can you
reduce the cost of that method so we
talked about this before we started
Quest how would we end metabolic disease
well we knew if we could make food that
people chose based on taste and it
happened to be good for them then it
would work because we'd be leveraging
people's own behaviors against them
their desire to eat hyperpolatable Foods
uh packaged convenienced well-marketed
all that stuff that's what's driving
eating Behavior so if we could take
advantage of that and then just slide in
something that was actually good for you
then we really had a shot
doing the same thing here at impact
Theory I know to get the average person
to adopt an empowering belief system it
has to come in the form of entertainment
has to be somewhat invisible it's got to
be baked into the cultural subconscious
and that over time people just begin to
think like that so
um that's why we're doing it that way so
more than I'm you know I'm thinking uh
oh here's path number one I'm thinking
what's the most real
um
what's the most realistic plausible path
and then does it meet other criteria can
it be monetized am I going to have fun
am I passionate about both the path and
the goal so all of those things play
into it as well
all right
Josh moranian
I realize that I don't have a super
specific goal but I have a clear vision
of what my goal looks like I know I am
going to be leading a team company in an
industry I'm passionate about my
question is how can I specify my goal
without limiting my past to get where I
want in my career
how can I specify my goal without
limiting my paths
yeah so the the problem is you don't
actually know what your goal looks like
so this is the the
quintessential question I get asked is
somebody who says that they have a clear
vision of their goal but then what they
describe is something as super vague as
I know I'm going to be leading a team
company in an industry that I'm
passionate about okay please understand
that is a hopelessly vague statement
like that is vague in the most
aggressive way possible
and it's the vagaries of that that then
create the problem so because you don't
know what to execute against you don't
know what kind of products to make you
don't know who your consumers are so
when doing a business we're doing
anything in life you you really have to
get down to the level of just absolutely
ridiculous hyper specificity so the
example that I always use is of the
Olympics the uh the goal that you have
is as vague is saying I want to win a
gold medal so first of all you want to
win a gold medal in what the Olympics
okay cool you want to win an Olympic
gold medal winter or summer okay summer
tennis
swimming like what is it swimming okay
great do you want to do the breaststroke
do you want to do the medley like what
exactly is it until you know the very
specific event in the sport in the games
that you want to play you're not going
to know how you should train and at the
end of the day it's the training it's
the acquisition of skills that's really
what you're trying to get down to that's
why you need the hyper degree of
specificity because without that you
can't a drive forward you can't acquire
the right skills and B if you don't know
exactly where you're going then you'll
never know if you're making progress so
when you have a goal that's super vague
like I want to drive around in my car
okay great like you're driving around in
your car now what you don't know whether
you're going in the right direction you
don't know if you're making any progress
so you really have to pin this stuff
down to a just an insanely clear and
specific Place once you have that then
you'll know what you should be training
in and whether or not you're making
progress
Stephen schrembeck
I've been working on Ray dalio's radical
truth principle for two months now but
radical transparency is a huge hurdle
how do I practice radical transparency
without pissing off everyone in my life
who doesn't get it do I need to ask
permission to be honest is that good
enough I will say that this is near
impossible to do with everyone in your
life if people don't buy into it it is
absolutely not going to work one Ray
dalio's principles is written within the
context of people who have agreed to be
a part of a team so whether it's at a
job I think you can get people to agree
there if it's in your immediate family
you can get people to agree there but
once it starts going farther than that
like unless you have a soccer team or
something where you can actually get
people to come together you can present
the idea and see if they buy into it
it's pretty hard to abide by Ray dalio's
principles without people actually
buying into that so that's first and
foremost it's got to be applied to a
group that will actually buy into it it
really won't work it'll be totally
dysfunctional for you to just try to do
it now you can live your life by
principles and you can be read radically
honest and transparent about yourself
you can even decide that you want to be
radically transparent with other people
and you can train them to only ask you
questions if they really want to know
the truth but what you've got to ask is
what do you hope to get out of that
because if people haven't bought in to
radical transparency you will come
across like a jerk it won't be read well
chances are they're going to diminish
the frequency with which they invite you
to be a part of their group but if
you're okay with that if it's not groups
that you want to be a part of if you
only want to be around people that are
living in principles then maybe that's
perfectly fine but you need to really
think through exactly what it is you're
trying to get
and I would say that ultimately Ray
dalio's principles are specifically for
people who are in a group that will all
Buy in all right Mischief Co
I started an online business a year ago
and things were going really well
recently sales have dropped to the point
where I'm quickly eating my way into my
savings every month I don't know if I
should quit this business and start a
new one go back to a nine to five or
stick this out what advice do you have
for someone who's struggling with a
rough time in their business to me this
all comes down to none of those are
wrong answers so this all comes down to
what do you really want like what's your
identity what's your mission in life
what are you really trying to accomplish
so if that business is just a path on a
way to a bigger goal that you believe in
with all of your heart and soul then it
might be worth shutting that one down
and starting something new it might be
worth buckling down and figuring out
where you're going wrong using austerity
measures in your company cutting off
every ounce of fat getting super lean
figuring out what's happened in the
marketplace pivoting like finding that
solving that problem if you're not
emotionally hung up on the money and
having to step backwards financially
like if you can really hunker down and
solve that problem could be beautiful
maybe some of the most powerful lessons
that you'll learn in business on the
flip side if you've didn't notice the
changing in sales fast enough that
there's just a tsunami of debt on the
business or something and you can't get
out from under it then closing that
business down and starting something new
with the fresh knowledge maybe that's
the way to go but it really all comes
down to what exactly it is you're trying
to accomplish I know none of these are
easy and I know especially if you have
debt in the business or you took money
from friends and family or something
like that this can be incredibly
incredibly stressful I'm not downplaying
that but just make sure that you're
looking at yourself on a long time
Horizon that you're not judging yourself
through the lens of a moment and that
you know what your ultimate goal is and
so if this business is a failure but it
teaches you something that you needed in
order to actually get where you're
ultimately going and just to
differentiate like for instance with
impact Theory my mission is to pull
people out of the Matrix to give them an
empowering belief system I think the way
to do that is through social content and
traditional narrative content should I
find that that isn't right or that I'm
not good at it and that I'm not able to
do what I want from a business
perspective with those two paths and I
have to Pivot at some point and and do
it another way hey so be it I'll take my
losses I'll figure it out I'll regroup
and I'll move forward again but
that all comes down to me knowing where
I'm ultimately trying to go I'm not
ultimately trying to build the studio
that's a very fun way that I happen to
think is the right way but it's very
possible that over time I learned that
that's not true and that I have to Pivot
and do something different and it just
so happens that I'm more passionate
about the end result of pulling people
out of the Matrix than I am the struggle
of building a studio so building the
studio is only worth me risking my
fortune and all of that because I so
believe in what I think it's going to
let me do on a cultural subconscious
level embedding an empowering belief
system so if it didn't have that then I
wouldn't be doing it so the truth is
hitting your career goals is not easy
you have to be willing to go the extra
mile to stand out and do hard things
better than anybody else but there are
10 steps I want to take you through that
will 100x your efficiency so you can
crush your goals and get back more time
into your day you'll not only get
control of your time you'll learn how to
use that momentum to take on your next
big goal to help you do this I've
created a list of the 10 most impactful
things that any High achiever needs to
dominate and you can download it for
free by clicking the link in today's
description alright my friend back to
today's episode that's where that plays
out so none of those are bad like going
back and taking a nine to five there's
no reason why you shouldn't like if that
feels awesome right now and you're like
so tired carrying all the responsibility
on your shoulders and it sounds awesome
to go find a company that you really
believe in they're really doing
something you're passionate about and
they're good people like go plug-in man
that's amazing this is a know thyself
moment and so just really take careful
assessment of what your
um
what your identity is what you want it
to be have compassion for yourself and
really plan for long-term fulfillment
don't worry about whether that business
was a win or a loss on a long enough
timeline it's just really not going to
matter
all right next up Ryan Jacobs hi Tom
you're doing an amazing job with the
show especially your communication
skills thank you how did you learn to
communicate so well were there any
certain books or people that helped you
learn how to use appropriate language
and effectively communicating
explanations or ideas to others first
yes I mean I've just read so many books
it'd be impossible to list them out here
but you can find my top 27 now I think
that it is at impact theory.com head
there and by the way today's episode is
brought to you by the impact Theory logo
shirt so head to shop.impacttheory.com
right now to pick yours up and remind
yourself through self-signaling of what
this whole ecosystem and way of thinking
is all about but yeah a lot a lot a lot
of books like I said the 27 are there in
order that I think people should read
them beyond that just an insane amount
of practice and being willing to hear
feedback so I've been doing speech and
debate since I was like 14 years old
maybe 13 I started in high school and
just really threw myself into that and
you're actually getting judged and
critiqued and you're getting feedback
and from the beginning
I just had to take that feedback and
then as I've gotten older as a leader
really accepting your losses accepting
things you really mess up allowing
yourself to hear from employees how you
could be doing it better just always
lowering your defenses lowering your ego
hearing the hard things being hungry to
adjust and grow and get better all of
that is super key so when you really
want to know the truth when you really
hunger to understand what you're doing
wrong how you could be doing something
better that's when you're really going
to start to win so make sure that you
actually want to know the truth because
the thing that you have just forced into
your life the thing that lights you on
fire emotionally is actual Improvement
when you're lit on fire by actual
Improvement and all your dopamine and
serotonin come rushing in as a result of
actual Improvement suddenly a hunger to
hear the truth even when it's harsh
that's how you get better just practice
practice practice practice all right
Anonymous how do you go about removing
people from your life who you feel are
not in line with your principles and
lifestyle how do you wean them out of
your life without being a total [ __ ]
about it so my thing is honestly I just
let space happen naturally and space
usually does happen pretty naturally
like everything in your life if you want
to build something new don't focus on
tearing down the old old focus on
building the new so rather than worrying
about eliminating old friends from your
ecosystem focus on building new friends
into your ecosystem go spend time with
those guys fill your life with that with
awesome stuff and then it's up to you
like exactly what you want to tell
people Vanessa van Edwards says that she
thinks people should actually break up
with friends and actually have the
conversation to sit down with people and
just say look I think we're in different
places in our lives and I don't think
this friendship makes sense anymore that
never hit me well and I think she is
brilliant but this is one place where
she and I agree just seems super awkward
to me and unnecessary and maybe this is
a super dude thing but the friendships
in my life that have evolved into
something else I've just let them evolve
into something else the reason that I do
that is I never know man we could evolve
back in the same direction again and
having made some big thing about
breaking up with them just seems super
weird to me so I like leaving it open
and maybe we'll reconnect and plus
hopefully at least in the people in my
life the vast majority not all but the
vast majority of people self-love for
and so if we were to find Common Ground
again it'd be awesome so yeah I just let
time and space do its work
all right time for one more question
Daniel Breeze hey Tom did you hey Tom
you mentioned that you finally figured
out how to read while working out how so
the key for me on this is there's only
certain types of things that I can read
while I'm working off I need to be
taking a lot of notes I can't do it
um so it needs to be something like uh
when I'm reading for somebody coming on
the show because I read in swarms so I'm
not so worried about taking every little
detail in so if I'm doing a set and the
set's Really intense and I miss you know
10 or 15 seconds of the book not a big
deal because I'm going to listen to
eight videos or you know 15 videos on
them talking about the book anyway so
I'm going to get that information from a
thousand different angles so it's
basically anything that I can read
podcast work for this where it's like
it's a flowy conversation so as long as
you're getting say 80 you're getting
most of what you want to get versus what
I'm really trying to read like raid
Elio's principles I would never read at
a first pass while working out it's just
two and information dense and I want to
take notes and you know I want to make
sure that I'm really focused on it and
really writing things down so it really
comes down to things like biographies
where it's not like I'm taking a lot of
notes per page or when I'm prepping for
somebody and thusly I'm reading in
swarms or when I'm
um listening to a podcast which is more
conversational one of the keys to
maintaining a positive mindset is to
stop worrying about what other people
think I go into great detail about this
topic in the next clip first question
comes from Imani I mean najari one of
the two how do I not
how do I not to care how do I not care
about what people think about me I know
I should not care but it's really hard
for me not to and it usually affects my
motivation and productivity okay so this
is about getting a hold of your emotions
so I think all of us have a desire to be
looked at favorably especially by the
people that we care about that we
respect but you have to like Victor
Frankel said understand that there's a
gap between stimulus and response
and in that Gap you have the ability to
choose something as a way of reacting
that isn't your emotions dictating that
so you're gonna have an emotional
reaction when you do something people
disapprove almost certainly certainly
happens for me you're going to feel that
sting of like oh that sucks I really
wanted people to be behind me I really
want people to cheer I really want
people to clap for me that's amazing but
at the end of the day you've got to be
able to say what is my goal and what
reaction to this stimulus actually moves
me towards my goal and that needs to be
the thing that overrides everything else
so Step One is having that clear goal
knowing what you're trying to accomplish
and then step two is the ability to
assess whether or not your emotion that
which is the subconscious speaking to
your conscious mind so if you think of
emotions as the subconscious which
processes data in a faster and faster as
they say fashion meaning it can process
a whole lot of information that your
conscious mind would not be able to
process through rapidly and it can do it
much quickly so it coughs up instead of
speaking in the language of that little
voice you actually hear articulating
words in your head it's coughing up an
emotion so it's all of that experience
all of the things that our brain does to
make sure that we protect ourselves that
we don't get ostracized by the group
which makes sense in a evolutionary
context but not so much in a modern
context that's why the subconscious is
speaking in Emotion but you can take
that emotion and say hey this doesn't
make sense for my goal feeling badly
about myself worrying about what other
people think about me it's only going to
slow me down it's only going to hold me
back I need to be able to trust my
instincts which I have trained and now
move towards what my goals demand and so
when you're able to do that when you're
able to read the emotion check to see if
there's a lesson to be learned but if
there's in wallowing in that emotion if
it's going to move you away from your
goals then you set that to the side and
practicing that and getting good at that
and filtering everything to your goal is
how ultimately you're not going to spend
a lot of time caring about what other
people think and so the Savior for me
has been the belief and the part of my
identity which says I only do and
believe that which moves me towards my
goals so obsessing over negative
thoughts about what other people think
doesn't and so I just let it go and move
on and it literally comes down to what
you allow yourself to think about so
just stop yourself using cognitive
behavioral therapy techniques stop
yourself from thinking about what other
people think
all right next question is from Jody
Deming hey Tom I'm 20 years old and I've
done some real soul searching over the
past few years I am certain that I don't
want the conventional life and I want to
do my own thing but whenever I start
something I quit because I find I'm not
really passionate about it enjoying it
but I fear I may not just want it bad
enough how do I differentiate between
being honest with myself and just pure
laziness Jody this is an amazing
question and first of all it is
addressed brilliantly by
Duckworth Angela Duckworth in the book
grit which you guys are going to want to
read that absolutely phenomenal book and
it breaks down how it's a very natural
process to begin something to be very
excited and then as you go down that
process to realize yeah I actually don't
like this it's not giving me as much
energy as I thought it would as taking
energy away and therefore I want to give
up and quit that thing and she said if
you do that once or twice like hey so be
it but if you're doing it every time if
you just love that initial Rush that
excitement of something new but the
actual nitty-gritty reality of getting
good at it of doing what mitchu Kaku
calls having butt power meaning you sit
your butt in the seat and you do the
work if that's really your problem and
nothing is interesting enough for you to
sit there and do the work you haven't
developed grit yet and so grit is the
ability to persevere to see things
through to go past the point at which it
has stopped being fun and it becomes
boring because you believe in your end
goal enough you're excited by what
you're trying to accomplish so much that
you're willing to fight through all of
that difficulty you're willing to fight
through the boredom you're willing to
fight through the unease that arises
when you step outside your comfort zone
you're doing things you're not good at
and things that are boring those are the
two things that I find kill most people
they just cannot handle the things that
make them go oh God like I'm not very
good at this and I'm feeling really
badly about myself and they forget that
they can get good on a long enough
timeline and then two inevitably in any
pursuit of greatness in any Endeavor
where you're trying to gain Mastery
you're going to get bored because
practice is repetition it's doing
something over and over and over and
over to really train yourself to get to
the point where you're truly exceptional
and there's just so much boredom
inherent in that process so building in
the resilience to see all that stuff
through is the key part of grit so take
that that's the Nugget that you want to
apply but I would also recommend that
you go and read Angela Duckworth's book
grit it's phenomenal and she goes into
more detail all right Alberto Garza do I
need to have a solid idea of the person
I am today in order to be the person I
want to become yes I think that would be
very powerful for you the ability to
accurately self-assess is incredibly
powerful now
people that have the highest levels of
self-delusion also have the highest
levels of happiness it is one of the
great ironies of being a human so this
is advanced class [ __ ] but you don't
want to spend too much time looking
really rawly at where you are and how
bad you are at this thing that you're
trying to do but at the same time you do
need to be able to accurately assess
where you are now the key that I've
found to being able to stare at nakedly
your inadequacies is that you have to
build your self-esteem around something
else but when your self-esteem is tied
around this it can be pretty gnarly
emotionally to spend a lot of time
looking at that which is why people
don't do it but if you build your
self-esteem around this little thing
here that I'm doing with my fingers
which is the willingness to look at that
to get better to sincerely apply
yourself to getting better to recognize
that the only difference between who you
want to be and who you are is a set of
skills and that you can acquire those
skills But first you have to understand
where you actually are and where you're
trying to go and then be able to
identify that Chasm that you have to
cross and if you take your pride your
self-esteem from the willingness to
cross that Chasm then suddenly you
actually get self-esteem by looking at
that by assessing where you really are
and so that is one of the most powerful
things anybody can do so I highly
recommend you guys spend your time there
what is up my friend Tom bilyu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
right I've just released a class from
Impact Theory university called how to
build Ironclad discipline that teaches
you the process of building yourself up
in this area so that you can push
yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University and tell them my friends be
legendary peace out
all right Daniel Brees the man the ever
contributor to impact Theory thank you
Daniel for your question how do you deal
with wanting to help those closest to
you while knowing that until they take
action there's nothing you can do all
right I'm going to quote my boy
Naveen Jane and he said that don't worry
about leading a horse to water
try to make them thirsty and I thought
that was brilliant because when
somebody's thirsty when they really want
that thing then they're going to go and
do it of their own accord you don't have
to worry about leading them to water now
this is one of the most difficult things
to do which is to get somebody thirsty
now first before I explain how to make
them thirsty I'm going to say that meet
them with compassion I wouldn't spend a
lot of time and energy trying to change
them or even try to make them thirsty I
think the vast majority of your time the
people closest to you that you love the
most you should just spend it loving
them you should spend it being happy to
have a relationship with them of being
able to have themselves in yourself and
good enough Health to be able to enjoy
each other's company so even though I
get it trust me I get it I know why you
want to make change spend your time just
being compassionate with where they are
now if you want to make them thirsty the
key is to find some hook some emotional
resonance with them something that
they're excited about becoming some goal
that they're amped about having some way
that is pleasure based to get them to go
down that path because that's what that
thirst really is that's what that hunger
to learn really is is it something that
is grabbing a hold of the pleasure
sensors in your brain and making you
want to do it and that's the key to
anything that's why people say stay
hungry they're saying you've got to
still want that thing you've got to be
driven by something internal you've got
to be moving towards something and not
just away from something so that's
really critical and then I will say also
that find out what is that person's
language do they naturally move towards
things or away from things are they
somebody that operates out of excitement
or out of fear what's their language of
appreciation how can you talk to them in
a way that they're really going to
understand and internalize but a lot of
times the punch line of all of this with
those closest to you is simply live your
life life and when they see you lit on
fire excited about the things you're
pursuing and you're not trying to preach
them you're just doing your thing and
they see it and they see how amped you
are and you share that enthusiasm with
them without trying to preach or trying
to convince them of anything you're just
letting them see how excited you are
then over time
some of them will want that excitement
in their own life and they will ask the
magic question which is how do you do
that and then you can give them a much
more direct answer but till then I would
say meet them with compassion and just
try to show them your level of
enthusiasm for what you do
vipin thiagi what advice do you have for
dealing with fomo for those who don't
know fear of missing out for those in
their 20s I understand the necessity of
the grind but sometimes become
distracted by thoughts of how I should
be perhaps devoting more time to friends
dating Etc since those things matter as
well in life how do I settle this in my
mind so I am not constantly at battle
with the two sides thanks all right this
is super important I want everybody to
stop what you're doing I want you to
lean in and I want you to really hear me
and remember this is coming from the guy
that's like Do or Die do the [ __ ]
work in fact I think yep I have that
shirt on right now today's episode is
brought to you by do the work go to
shop.impact3.com right now and get
yourself signaling now having said all
of that and I really do believe that
because it makes sense in my life for
what I want to accomplish and what I
want to do but the reality is
there isn't a better way to live your
life there's no right way and wrong way
there is only the way that gives you
more energy there is only the way that
gives you fulfillment when you have
those things when you're fulfilled by
what you're doing and it's giving you
the harder you pursue it it's giving you
more energy you're on the right path as
the Greeks would say say
I can't believe I messed that up segolo
duromo which means you're on a good road
and that's what I want people to
understand like yes I Peach a or I
preach a very specific path
but I don't think that it is a universal
path and so the only Universal path is
to do the things that give you
fulfillment and energy so if spending
time with your friends gives you that
then you should be spending more time
with your friends if dating gives you
that then you should be dating so you
don't need to want to be the best in the
world at something you don't need to
want to make a lot of money you don't
need to want to be an entrepreneur like
all they're literally just stand-ins
they're proxies for fulfillment and
energy creation that's it so those are
the punch lines of what's the meaning of
life and all of that stuff it is to do
something that makes you feel a deep
sense of well-being which I'll call
fulfillment and something that gives you
energy where you're literally excited to
attack the day
that's it
all right Michael Richards The Michael
Richards from Seinfeld wow that would be
amazing
for those wondering I've contacted my
doctor on this never-ending golf
my friend mentor and I have been working
together for about a year now developing
both of our passions further it has
always been a mutually beneficial
relationship but now he has asked me to
come work for him full-time how would
you approach the transition to employee
employer I would approach it with
absolute raw and unadulterated honesty
people treat you exactly the way that
you let them treat you you guys are
about to move into a very different
dynamic in your role you're going to
want to know what your expectations are
of them what their expectations are of
you you want to have that all clear and
upfront you want to make sure that you
understand
how to communicate in this new role you
want to make sure that those channels
are open so that if something starts to
not feel good that you guys are
communicating it you're not
internalizing it this all comes down to
Ray dalio's principles read that book if
you're both open to two things these are
the important two things write these
down this should be the fundamental core
of every relationship you have business
or personal number one you need to be
able to hear truth and number two you
need to be able to speak truth those are
the two most foundational
skills that anyone should develop in
terms of communication you need to be
able to hear truth and speak truth now a
lot of people can do one or the other
but not both some people have a very
easy time criticizing others and telling
them what they're doing wrong but they
can't hear it themselves and other
people can actually hear it they don't
mind that but they have a really hard
time communicating that to other people
because they don't want to hurt their
feelings or whatever so make sure that
you're able to do both that is an
absolute Cornerstone of communication so
if you guys have that you'll be just
fine
Lucian Millet how do I get over my block
of I am never good enough especially
when my significant other has high
expectations but does not support me in
reaching those expectations okay so we
have two issues so first of all getting
over your block of I'm not good enough
for me the thing that absolutely
destroyed all of that is my
unflagging belief in one simple thing I
can learn anything so I may not be good
at that thing now I may really not be
good enough like when I think about
building a studio to rival Disney I'm
not good enough yet there's a huge Chasm
and skill set between me and Bob Iger
and being able to do that I fully
understand that and I have to do
something different which is found this
create all the energy whereas Bob Iger
came in wait I mean they've been in
business for like 75 years or something
by the time he came along so it is a
really intriguing skill set to be able
to both build and create something scale
it and then run it once it's big so I
know full well that I am not yet the
person that I need to be in order to do
that and so my time and energy is spent
in building that skill set so I don't
freak out over the fact that I'm not
good enough that's very easy for me to
admit I instead spend my time thinking
about how do I acquire those skills in
order to actually become good enough so
don't let your self-worth be tied up in
that notion of good enough humans are
the ultimate adaptation machine from
that I derive my sort of high level
sense of worth that hey every human
being has worth because they're an
ultimate adaptation machine and they can
become anything they want that's just
really cool and amazing and then also I
just am deeply compassionate for The
Human Condition so
um yeah regardless of where people fall
on that path of actually executing
against that potential
um I get it man being a human is both
beautiful amazing all this potential and
it's really hard so have compassion for
yourself which I think is incredibly
important and know that this is hard and
then believe that you can become
anything that you set your mind to and
then just be honest with yourself you
don't have have to want to be the
greatest in the world so whether you let
somebody else apply those high standards
to you or not is completely your choice
just remember it's a choice and you're
not not great because you can't be
you're not great because you haven't
applied yourself to that so that is the
key for me like understanding that my
life is an exact reflection of my
choices is entirely liberating so
remember your life is an exact
reflection of your choices if you want a
different result you simply need to make
a different choice
that's a name right there
should I try executing from the start or
should I learn to get to the level
needed for Mastery first ultimately the
question is experience or knowledge so
my advice is nothing there is no more
data Rich information stream than
experience than going and diving into
trying something failing learning from
that so I never worry about whether or
not I fully know how to do what I'm
about to do I go into it however I am
trying to fiendishly get as much
experience as I can as humanly possible
so like with Comics I knew nothing about
it but I