Kind: captions
Language: en
you really have to
work hard
for a set of skills
that matter to you now the skills have
to matter that's a key part of the
equation
once the skills matter to you and they
allow you to serve not only yourself but
other people and then you actually go
and serve those people it becomes this
really potent cocktail of neurochemistry
but I want to make sure that everybody
understands the game that you're playing
is a game of neurochemistry right in the
last year at least two billionaires
committed suicide
so I mean like it's heartbreaking When
anybody commits suicide but when
billionaires start committing suicide
like if the answer is not just
self-evident beyond all imagining that
money is not going to solve the problems
that exist between your ears like
there's there's nothing more anyone can
tell you a fool never learns
a smart man learns from his mistakes a
wise man learns from the mistakes of
others on this one I'm [ __ ] begging
you be wise I'm not telling you not to
chase money I'm just saying it's not
going to feed you emotionally the way
you think it is so you've got to
completely Divorce Yourself from this
notion of outcome and become completely
obsessed with the idea of sincere
Pursuit now why sincere Pursuit
the reason to tie your sense of self
your self-esteem your pride your ego
your identity all of that the reason to
tie that to sincere Pursuit is it's the
only part you can control
I cannot promise you that you'll ever be
successful
you cannot promise you that you will be
successful
but you can
promise and know if you actually did it
to show up every day and really pursue
it
you control your mindset
you control how you feel about yourself
nobody can actually get you to feel some
kind of way about yourself
you allow that [ __ ] in right that's like
the cheesiest self-help [ __ ] you're ever
gonna hear but it got cheesy because
it's so true so people repeated it a lot
and if you lose sight of that if you
lose sight of what you allow yourself to
think is going to control you at a
neurochemical level
and at the neurochemical level that's
going to influence then again how you
feel and how you think and then you get
into this death spiral where you're
thinking negative [ __ ] you believe in
the negative [ __ ] which makes you feel
badly about yourself and then you get
stuck in that and you can't get out and
you see a lot of that on the hopes and
fears
people afraid they're never going to be
able to break free people in this
[ __ ] room that took the time to write
it down that they were never going to
get out of that negative Loop
and that negative Loop is really real
but here's the thing the negative Loop
is based in biology
and once you begin to understand what
the biology is exactly then you can
begin to take control of your life and
step one in the biological train is to
break the tie that you have between
outcome
and worth
once you begin to break that down then
you can step to [ __ ] naked and raw and
say all right this is just practice
and once you're in that mode of
practicing you're in skill acquisition
mode
and the name of the game is skill
acquisition like it really is sort of
that dull and boring it's just about
getting so good at something that you
can't be denied
and that's one of those things like I'm
gonna say that phrase so much that I
worry that's going to become trite but
that is one of the most
awe-inspiring Notions on the planet
the thought that you could become so
good at something
that you leave people in awe
and when you can leave people in awe you
can do just about anything you want with
your life
the easiest way to talk about awe is to
think of sports figures right you've got
sports figures you see somebody like
Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant you see
what they do and you think oh my God
like they're given a human body just
like I was but look at what they're able
to do with theirs it's absolutely
extraordinary and whenever you talk to
the best of the best these [ __ ]
always they always put in the work
and that is
the obsession that anybody that wants to
be great and Achieve something has to
have
it's got to ultimately boil down to the
skill set now here's the problem the
reality and this is where I think most
people get derailed if you're able to
detach yourself from the outcome you're
able to start thinking in this new way
it's about sincere Pursuit that idea of
sincere Pursuit puts you in the path of
skill acquisition the next thing that
kills dreams real fast is the reality of
what you're trying to build to
understand the reality
who knows what is the second law of
thermodynamics
entropy now entropy is a fancy word for
chaos
what it's saying is this is a this is a
[ __ ] law of physics
everything moves towards chaos a system
without additional energy added will
always move towards chaos think about
your bedroom think about the dining room
table think about anything you leave
that [ __ ] alone for 30 seconds she's
already poking him like yo [ __ ]
I'm gonna send him pictures because God
damn that's chaos
that is certainly my wife she's
literally laughing right now because I
am an agent of chaos when it comes to
that kind of thing that is for sure
anything left to its own devices is
going to move towards chaos all right
staying with physics
how do we then create things that have
order and structure
we pour energy into the system and I'm
not saying this in a woo way and
everyone in this room has permission if
you ever hear me use the word Quantum
Mind just [ __ ] punch me in the mouth
if Einstein didn't understand quantum
physics I assure you self-help movement
does not understand quantum physics so I
I want to keep this [ __ ] nice and real
grounded
that that drives me [ __ ] nuts the
reason it drives me nuts is I think it
throws people off the trail of what you
really have to [ __ ] do
all right so the thing that really
begins to [ __ ] people up is that they
have this idea they want to accomplish
something with their life they're able
to move over start thinking about
practice it's all about Pursuit they're
judging themselves based on that are
they sincerely going after it or not and
then they get into the middle of that
[ __ ] and it is so mind-numbingly boring
in fact we I think have some photos at
least if you haven't already shown them
that are the realities of what quest was
like to build it because what people see
they see the sexy side they see us at
the Inc 500 Gala they see Lisa wearing
her Louboutins showing off the red under
Soul she was very proud of those
but they don't see this [ __ ] which is
where it started when nobody knew who
the [ __ ] we were
this is before my man Dave Barham who's
hiding in this audience somewhere
this was when nobody knew who we are
nobody gave a [ __ ] people were actually
saying things like I don't eat protein
bars man no thanks I don't want any we
were giving them away for free people
wouldn't take them
we called one distributor up and he said
and I quote I need another protein bar
like I need another hole in the head
we went into a category that had 1600
other bars and flavors and had been
declining for years in sales nobody
wanted the product that we were making
but we believed we had what Peter Thiel
calls a zero to one we had a secret that
nobody else understood it meant that we
had to become our own manufacturers
which is how I went for making software
all day to making protein bars all day
so this is me literally making protein
bars like this is the the grind this is
the boredom this is the sincere Pursuit
this is the showing up every day we had
to assemble our own equipment which I
actually think we have a photo of as
well so this is us this equipment showed
showed up one day
a big [ __ ] off like semi backs up and
we're all like
well how the [ __ ] are we supposed to get
it out
I'm not joking and we're like are we
really that dumb and so we're scrambling
and we're like all right the the
neighbor in the building he's got a
forklift but nobody knows how to drive
forklift and I'm like
actually I do and my partner's like what
the [ __ ] and I'm like as a kid man in my
family you had to work dead-end jobs my
dad had me in a paint factory I worked
in a paint Warehouse I worked in a paint
factory and a paint store I'm a [ __ ]
certified forklift driver so
we actually had video of me I turned to
the camera because we were filming it
and I was like Dad wax on wax off I was
like [ __ ] you want to talk about a skill
I never thought I would need
there it was so I literally drive a
[ __ ] forklift put all this [ __ ] down
and now here we are not knowing
literally there's a manual in here
somewhere and we are
opening the manual going through trying
to figure out how to put this [ __ ] back
together it was [ __ ] bananas but this
is like this moment right here one
what's on my face
I'm [ __ ] smiling man I'm smiling
because I believe in what I'm doing I
have a mission I'm not just trying to
get rich there's something that I
believe in there's people that I love
that were suffering that I wanted to do
something about I had them on my mind
and then truly advanced class [ __ ] and
hopefully we'll get into this more later
when [ __ ] really [ __ ] goes wrong man
this is promise to yourself number two
promise to yourself number two when [ __ ]
really [ __ ] goes wrong that's the time
to laugh
that's the time to be like all right if
I go playful right now it will change
the dynamic of everyone in the [ __ ]
room I'm gonna ask one person in this
room I want to [ __ ] hear you when I say
your name you better be in this room too
Casey Elliott make some [ __ ] noise
[Music]
that woman is so hardcore you can't
imagine
but she really feels it when she [ __ ]
up
so Casey when you [ __ ] up what's my
attitude
am I angry
am I upbeat
she's like [ __ ] you're not
upbeat
understanding you give me that much
whenever possible to bounce in that
opposite direction
and
change the dynamic of the way that
you're thinking so that you don't get
trapped in your own neurochemistry
because when you have an emotion
the chances are you believe that emotion
but the brain has this crazy [ __ ]
weird mechanism where however big you
react it goes oh it was that big of a
deal so if you freak the [ __ ] out and
you're yelling and screaming then your
brain's like yeah man it really it
matters that [ __ ] much like I said no
cheese on this [ __ ] hamburger
it's [ __ ] cheese on this burger
that [ __ ] is crazy you you can't [ __ ]
do that you can't put
get the [ __ ] paper says no cheese
and when you wind yourself up like that
then literally it just gets hardwired
that yeah this really is that
catastrophic but the reverse is true
something horrifying happens something
terrible goes wrong and if you can in
your mind just flip it and be like yeah
we're gonna figure this out and I
remember in the early days when we got
the equipment
everyone told us guys the bar you want
to make it cannot be made and I can't
tell you how many times we heard that
it's kind of a boring story as to why
but people just kept telling us over and
over it can't be made it can't be made
we never plan to be our own manufacturer
we thought we'd Outsource that every
time we went to make it somewhere they
said you're going to have to add liquid
sugar to this otherwise there there's
just no way to make it and we said well
that would defeat the purpose of the
whole company so we're not going to do
that so we're going to go buy our own
equipment they're like you can buy it
it's not gonna [ __ ] work and we were
like no no man this is definitely people
are just being too lazy and we've got
the will to see this [ __ ] through
so we're like all right let's buy it
send it in got it put it together we're
like I knew it forklift driving the
whole nine we're like yeah we got this
and then we ran the first attempt
and it didn't work yeah that [ __ ] you
can't you can't make that bar in that
equipment I'll just I'll save you some
time if anybody wants to buy some old
equipment by the way let me know
so we had like this area that we called
our Follies and so we would take things
that didn't work and we would put them
over there
and when we first got this stuff
together and it didn't work and we were
trying and trying and trying and trying
and it was hours and by the way I'm not
I am not this is a shout out to the guy
earlier who told me he burned the ships
to be here I'm not a burn the ships guy
I don't think you need to burn ships I'm
a Knights and weekends guy I think you
need to work harder that way you don't
have a gun to your head financially
because that puts you in a place to make
short-term decisions instead of
long-term decisions you always want to
be somewhere where you're making
long-term decisions so we were running a
software company by day and then on
nights and weekends we were building
quests we were making the bars at first
by hand then we were getting the
machines and trying to figure that out
and then when it didn't work one of my
partners was a literal Iowa farm boy and
he had worked on tractors his whole life
and he's watching the line one day as
it's just all going to hell
he's like
I think I can fix this
and we're like okay
and he was like no no you're gonna have
to let me cut it apart though and if it
doesn't work then we're out it was like
all of our money
and we're like whoa now you have to keep
in mind
I went to Lisa and I said hey
we're gonna have to put our house up as
collateral for this company
and if we fail
then we lose everything
and she literally without missing a beat
she says
I bet on you
that that is that was one of those
things where literally in the moment I
was like
it again
which she has so many times that woman
she is for Real ride or die but in that
moment where he's like hey I want to cut
this [ __ ] apart and then put it back
together but if it doesn't work then
we're out the money
I'm thinking I'd be out of my house and
the one conversation that I don't want
to have with my wife is
hey you know we we had literally I think
just got in the house like six or eight
months before that
so I was like I do not want to have that
conversation and so that's where the the
mentality of burning the ships becomes
important but tie it to something that
is already real it's already there
there's no way around it you're not
going out of your way to create more
problems for yourself so I was not going
to lose that house and so that became
like the thing in my mind all right
we're gonna try this but we are going to
make it work and so he literally got a
Sawzall out and a blowtorch he cut that
[ __ ] apart he put it back together and
it actually [ __ ] worked and that was
one of those moments where you're like
Whoa man you really do have to have a
certain appetite for risk and so that's
the third thing I'm going to say you
guys need to do you've got to give your
yourself permission to royally [ __ ] up
because if you're afraid to royally [ __ ]
up if you're afraid to lose the house
it's okay to say I'm not gonna do it man
I'm gonna fight and push and I'm gonna
do everything I can to stop it but if
you're not willing to accept those kinds
of consequences you will have to play it
smaller so you've got to give yourself
permission to royally [ __ ] up now why am
I not afraid of royally [ __ ] up
because I know one thing this is so
important
failure
is the single most
information Rich data stream that exists
you will never learn faster from
anything than you'll learn from failure
one pain psychic pain triggers all kinds
of things in your brain the hippocampus
becomes more active your amygdala
becomes more active you write the
memories harder your brain focuses on it
more so there's just this intensity that
happens when you fail
also failure is essentially
the closest thing you're going to get to
a sporting result the nice thing about
sports and part of the reason they
become like this gladiatorial thing that
we obsess over and think about is
because you know who won and you know
who lost you know who's the best you
know who's the worst you can see the
[ __ ] stats you watch it happen before
your eyes it's very hard in life we
don't often get that does my boss like
me do they not like me am I going to get
the promotion am I doing what I want
should I even be in this job like you
have no [ __ ] idea and then you make a
decision and you don't know like would
it have worked out better the other way
who knows you never get to try it
so when life slaps you in the [ __ ]
mouth and you realize that you've really
made a catastrophic error then if you
can approach it defenselessly
meaning
you're not trying to protect your ego
because you wisely have already promised
yourself that you're not going to tie
your ego to the outcome you're going to
tie it to the sincere Pursuit so you
need only ask yourself one question in
attempting that thing that I just failed
catastrophically was I sincerely
pursuing the right outcome and if the
answer was yes you get to feel good
about yourself
and so you step into that moment saying
I tried and I failed I know that failure
is the most information data Rich stream
that there is so what is the lesson here
and getting good at teasing that out and
facing even more than I'll say figuring
it out facing
what you've done wrong owning it
accepting it
allows you to not make that mistake the
next time
and my encouragement to you guys is
never judge yourself to the lens of a
moment you're going to mess up you're
going to mess up a lot and if you Loop
negatively over that mistake it just
isn't effective
and I always tell people do and believe
that which moves you towards your goals
like if you just repeat that one
obsessively in your head then one day
you're going to get to a point where you
do something and really makes you
dislike yourself
and you're gonna have to ask does
disliking myself move me forward or not
if it moves me forward then I'm gonna do
it but chances are it's not going to you
may want to feel the sting of it that
may really Propel you forward but you
don't want to exist in that state where
you're just allowing yourself to beat
yourself up because no good ever comes
of that at that point it is simply
punishment
and so you have to ask yourself the
value of that punishment the value of
the duration of the punishment and so I
began to be able to talk myself out of
these self-limiting ideas these beliefs
about myself not being able to do it
simply because I said I'm willing to
live even if I don't believe it I'm
willing to live by the edict that I
should only do and believe that which
moves me towards my goals and I had this
thing in me I wanted to punish myself I
want to beat myself up when I did
something stupid I want it I certainly
started thinking less and less of myself
and it just became ever more clear that
that wasn't serving me it wasn't
propelling me forward
and so building in these beliefs
rules in your life become the foundation
upon which you're going to build
and so this notion of building something
Brick by Brick of looking at your life
on a long timeline of not judging
yourself in a moment but rather I like
to look at myself in 10-year increments
if you ever want to feel good about
yourself look at your life in a 10-year
increment because maybe over a month you
didn't do anything very interesting you
can't really put your finger on what
you've learned or who you've met or have
you really made any progress maybe you
had a bad year and so looking at that
year you're like damn man I really move
backwards
and I asked this question one time of a
guy that went through his residency
and I said he was about to become a
full-fledged medical doctor
and anybody in itu this literally just
happened this last week
and I said think back 10 years
and what you knew about human biology at
that point imagine you were going to
step out and perform surgery on somebody
or be a GP and make recommendations for
somebody with the knowledge that you had
then what would that feel like he was
like that'd be terrifying I'd be
terrible
and I said now imagine
how much you've learned in that 10 years
and he was like yeah [ __ ] he's
smiling and I said now I want you to
realize if you play the game right 10
years from now
you're going to think of who you are
today the way that you thinks of you 10
years ago
and that's when this [ __ ] gets fun
because when you realize ah stumble here
there failure fall on your face whatever
none of it's really going to matter if
you're just
relentlessly learning and learning and
learning and learning and learning and
if you're doing that and if you're
staying focused then you're going to be
able to begin to stack these bricks and
build the thing that you want to build
but to build that thing you're going to
need clarity
the truth is hitting your career goals
is not easy you have to be willing to go
the extra mile to stand out and do hard
things better than anybody else but
there are 10 steps I want to take you
through that will 100x your efficiency
so you can crush your goals and get back
more time into your day you'll not only
get control of your time you'll learn
how to use that momentum to take on your
next big goal to help you do this I've
created a list of the 10 most impactful
things that any High achiever needs to
dominate and you can download it for
free by clicking the link in today's
description all right my friend back to
today's episode
now I'm just curious as to what's on the
screen behind me the bad news is if I
were to sit with you and push you on it
the odds are that you still lack that
clarity now Clarity is one of those
things that I talk a lot about so I'm
not going to beat it to death tonight
but I just want to say however clear you
think you are you're not clear enough
yet
and the reason that I can say that just
beyond a shadow of a doubt is
when you know something from like ten
thousand angles you just know it from
every which way you know exactly like
quadrants on a map you know precisely
latitude longitude all of it down to
like a grain of sand of where you're
trying to head
when you have that then you really can
come at it from any angle you can divert
for a moment because you know where
you're going back to when you don't have
that Clarity you're always lost and
that's where most entrepreneurs spend
their time because remember
if I was the person I wanted to be I
would have walked out tonight and said
the only thing that stands between you
and your dreams is a set of skills
and then drop the [ __ ] mic but I know
that that doesn't break through it
doesn't get through to people the way
that I wanted to but once you if you can
return to that over and over and over
and every time something goes wrong in
my life I am asking myself one simple
question what is it that I suck at I
suck at something there's something I'm
doing wrong by definition if I were
doing it right then I would be getting
the outcome that I wanted I'm not
getting the outcome that I want
therefore I'm doing something wrong it
is all my fault I'm not trying to feel
badly about myself because I am divorced
from the outcome I'm only valuing myself
for being a learner sincerely pursuing
that's it
so I'm not saying all that stuff to kick
the [ __ ] out of myself to feel badly
about myself to hold myself back I'm
saying it because the reality
working your ass off getting [ __ ]
good by the way this is me at an airport
we had a delay in fact anybody see the
Tony Robbins episode
that's me stuck in the [ __ ] airport
on our way to interview Tony Robbins and
I was like this [ __ ] is gonna
know I know who he is
the intro was like broken into chapter
and verse
I had that [ __ ] down he actually I don't
remember if it made the Final Cut but he
was like yo
I'm sorry you had to read all that
I was like Tony I needed you to know
I know who the [ __ ] you are Tony
but like really going in heads down like
just just believe this
this is my new obsession
the human animal
we don't have
big fangs we don't have sharp claws
what we have is the ability to change
we're crazy adaptive
and I'm sure you guys have heard the
quote it's not the strongest of the
species that survives nor the most
intelligent but rather the most adaptive
to change
our ability to change is unparalleled
there is no other animal that you can
find in the number of locations that you
can find us
my famous before and after hey nothing
quite like standing in front of a group
of people in your underwear twice
uh I would like to point out my wife put
these together
um well first let's talk about the one
on the left this is one of my favorite
stories so I had been lifting believe it
or not for a long time over on the uh I
guess your guys's left yes so on the
left my my heavy picture I've been
lifting and lifting and lifting and
lifting and I went to see this friend
that I hadn't seen in years and I wore
my Titus shirt and I was like oh man
she's gonna say something and my wife
knew how excited I was I was like she's
gonna see me and be like oh my God you
got so buff what did you do and sat down
spent the whole night with her and she
didn't say a goddamn thing
like didn't even bring it up that was
like
what and so my wife and I are leaving
that lovely beautiful woman who
introduced me and she said
when I asked I said yo can you believe
Sophie didn't say anything and she was
like oh maybe she just saw you got fat
what'd you say
what
that's a possibility I was what I was
literally beside myself that is actually
the night that that was said to me I was
like all right we're taking that [ __ ]
before picture right now
right this very second
and then it's about
an unending amount of work there are two
years in between these pictures two
grueling years of fighting with my wife
because she was telling me that I was
dieting wrong and I was so [ __ ]
hungry I could not hear that [ __ ]
you can't try to take a man's Fat Burger
when he's doing
icy [ __ ]
but when you put in the work you and the
body is is a really [ __ ] tangible
example of just how much change the
human body is capable of
and so when you see what you can do to
your body it is this insanely powerful
reminder of just how much adaptation
you're capable of and that game of
adaptation like once you buy into I am
an average human
the average human is capable of
extraordinary adaptation
adaptation follows certain rules
all I have to do to become extraordinary
and get where I want to go is follow the
rules of adaptation that is the gospel
truth that's it that is the name of this
game that is how you acquire skills you
do what is called deliberate practice
read the book The Talent Code read the
book The Talent Code it's on my list so
everybody in this room of course has
already read all the books on my list
right
I want some people to step forward
and I want you to tell me what you're
afraid of
I want to know why you don't think
you're going to make it
we have a brave soul let's hear it
yeah give it up for that
[Applause]
I'm afraid of getting to think of my
life
and realizing that I did not
become the best version of myself
knowing that I got to the very end of my
life and I did not accomplish every
single thing I know I believe in my
heart that I deserve to have
I know the only thing that's stopping me
is myself
I love that I think that's the right
fear and I think all of us should have
some form of that fear which if you
didn't hear is to have a vision of the
person you could become
and to reach the Pearly Gates as it were
see who you could have been contrasted
with who you actually are and be
disappointed by the gap between them
and I love chasing that I think it's a
beautiful Chase
but what I hope you guys will do if you
ever find yourself at the Pearly Gates
disappointed in how much farther you
could have gone
to Simply ask one question of yourself
every day
did I give it my all today
doesn't mean you're always going to win
yeah
if your life is a series of
yes I did
You've Won
You've Won guys the struggle is
guaranteed the struggle is guaranteed
the struggle is guaranteed the success
is not
and like the thing that I beg you guys
is to have the guts to fail at something
that you love
and when you were on the mud on your
face and people are laughing the I told
you so's are coming out
that you remember one simple fact
you loved what you were doing and you
left it out on the field what the [ __ ]
else is there
legitimately like I'm getting emotional
what the [ __ ] else is there what more
can you ask of yourself than to really
[ __ ] try to really say I give a [ __ ]
about this
that's the life to live that's the life
like to say I care about this it matters
it gives me purpose I'm gonna fight for
this this is a group of people I want to
serve
and I'm gonna go all the way out every
day and look you're not going to hit it
every day there's going to be days where
you're off there's going to be days
where you're weak
weak but if that day instead of
bullshitting yourself instead of saying
I wasn't weak today what are you talking
about if that day you [ __ ] own it and
you say yeah I was weak today and I'm
not going to be weak tomorrow but I'm
not afraid to face that I'm not afraid
to accept that I'm not perfect I'm not
afraid to look in the mirror and say
today was a bad day that I didn't make
myself proud today but that shouldn't
diminish who you are it shouldn't
diminish your view of yourself why
because I wouldn't serve you
because if you beat yourself up today
you make it harder for you to be rad
tomorrow
it's a game that has to be seen in total
it's not a game where you can take a
snapshot and this is like what I want
you guys to understand in any one moment
I've looked like a fool so many [ __ ]
times I can't count
but when I look at my life in 10-year
chunks I'm freaked out by what I've
accomplished
so I'm okay if I don't become the
ultimate version of what I could become
but I won't tolerate not trying
well some of my limiting beliefs are
that I'm not good enough and I I don't
deserve the success that I have right
now so I keep fighting those limiting
beliefs of my mind now they are getting
better that little speech actually
helped a ton but it's am I ever going to
be good enough and am I worthy of this
success so this is one of the most
common frames ever worth
being good enough being right being
smart
because these are very fragile ways to
think of yourself and I understand the
Temptation because it feels really good
when you do feel worthy it feels really
good when you are right it feels really
good to actually be the best at
something
but the truth of the world just the
truth of the world it is this way
you're always going to encounter
somebody better stronger faster more
Pious more worthy more whatever
so if you live in a world of comparison
it will rob you of your joy
even people who like Michael Jordan if
you put him right now up against
most rookies the rookie is going to win
Rookie's younger faster hungrier
Michael's just lost a step he's gotten
old
so if he were trying to make his life
about his glory in that period let's say
he lives 80 years if he's living for the
glory of 20 years that's the most
heartbreaking life I can imagine
so you're going to move in and out of
these moments where you are a badass to
where you're not a badass
don't value yourself for that
value yourself for something that is
anti-fragile
being smart being right being good being
worthy they are very fragile things
because sometimes you won't be it simply
is this way
valuing yourself for being a learner on
the other hand for trying
that's anti-fragile because the more
somebody attacks you for being dumb but
you build your self-esteem around
learning
the first thing I think when someone
says I'm dumb is awesome in what way
because I view myself in these 10-year
windows
and I know
the same people that were laughing at me
when I became an entrepreneur knew
nothing about it and I was who's the kid
in the server room and I was the only
one with an office that had no windows
and there were like nine other computers
in my room and nobody knew who I was and
the only contribution I made the phone
calls was to say goodbye at the end of a
conference call I'm not kidding
thank you
Ten Years Later
I own
a billion dollar business
who the [ __ ] is laughing now
but it only worked because I didn't mind
looking stupid it only worked because I
wasn't asking myself whether I was
worthy or whether I deserved it I just
asked myself am I leaving it all out in
the field yes or no am I learning yes or
no and if I'm not I didn't go oh that
makes me a bad person I went I need to
change my actions to get a different
result
and once you start thinking like that
and you literally value yourself for how
hard you're trying how much you're
learning how willing you are to accept
when you fall on your face so you don't
try to get out from under it or campaign
to convince people that you're better
than you really are [ __ ] on where
you're at
because once you're real about it then
you can make progress but if your energy
Cycles go to bullshitting yourself
you'll never get out of it
um so for me it's
my happiness now I believe that's as
happy as I can be
and it's hard to realize that there is
progression and I make that progression
that it's not going through four years
of school to make that progression it's
actively participating in my own life
and being able to bounce back and forth
between those as a human
dude that's Rod thank you for that by
the way
please honor that
that was beautiful so here's the thing
about happiness happiness is by nature
transient happiness is also a
neurochemical state
and for me to get out from under my
brain I finally had to understand that
neurochemistry
is fickle and it changes from one minute
to the next in fact who's ever had a day
in the same day where you thought
I'm so [ __ ] amazing like this [ __ ] is
crazy for real are other people this
good at anything like I'm the [ __ ] and
then I'm not joking 40 minutes later
you're like oh [ __ ] and I am [ __ ] I
can't believe I'm never gonna succeed
like this is a joke I'm a total piece of
[ __ ] who's ever been there
all right that's essentially Universal
hands in the air so just know the next
time that you have one of those down
moments remember everybody else is
feeling that the joke is on all of us
we're all feeling it but we think we're
the only ones so we hide it so we get in
these Loops about happiness look
happiness comes and goes it's super
transient you're gonna feel it one
minute you're not gonna feel it the next
that is the nature of things
burn that notion into your head that is
the nature of things all right well if I
know that it's there if I know that it's
predictable then I'm not going to Let It
Whip me into a frenzy I know
that as I'm sure Mr J Shetty would say
this too shall pass
learn that phrase and learn it well this
too shall pass
the highs will pass the lows will pass
so don't focus on happiness it's too
transient
focus on fulfillment
fulfillment is defined very simply you
work very hard for a set of skills that
have meaning to you you care about them
in and of themselves and those skills
that you have worked so hard to obtain
they allow you to serve not only
yourself but others that's the key to
making this highly social animal
fulfilled and to have something that
sustains over time fulfillment is born
of suffering it's born of doing the hard
things so even in those dark moments you
can see beauty you can experience the
joy of being alive you can experience
the joy of having loved ones because it
endures
fulfillment endures
now you're not going to feel the
neurochemical high of it all the time
but when you look Inward and ask
yourself
am I busting my ass to serve not only
myself but others if the answer is yes
it's really hard to keep feeling badly
about yourself
focus on fulfillment
and you will make yourself impervious to
the sways that is happiness
um mine is at the single father of three
beautiful girls I I have limited time
with them
I want to know if I'm giving everything
I can that though that I'm making an
impact
and I'm always worried that what little
time that I have do they feel loved do
they feel value am I instilling that in
them
and that's my biggest thing is
everything I'm doing is a drive to be
able to
progress in life where I can
make the best out of them where they
have value in themselves
so here's the great news for all the
parents in the audience you're going to
[ __ ] it up
and all of your parents [ __ ] it up
but you can make him feel loved man and
at the end of the day I will tell you
this right now my mom [ __ ] up so much
[ __ ] is crazy
but I never doubted that she loved me
not once
and because of that I had a rock
now here's the truth about taking risks
and everyone in this room is willing to
take risks that's why you're willing to
dream that's why you guys are going to
execute against that
and the way to take risks is to have a
very safe and stable home life
you're gonna make mistakes man and it's
okay
you're going to learn from those
mistakes and you're going to get better
and as long as the thing that sits at
the core of your relationship to those
little girls is Dad loves us nothing
else matters if you make them feel that
dude everything else will be irrelevant
if you get them into the world knowing
that they are loved at an absurd level
everything's going to be okay
so for a long time most of my life it's
been that I can't do something can't do
something that's just something I told
myself and my self-talk negative
self-talk and then it got to a point
where I was like I can and I can do this
but the can didn't become something that
was
deep it wasn't based I think on a solid
foundation because I have the fear of
thinking now that it's not that I can't
fear is that I can
so I'm trying to break through the can
so that's where I am right now I love
that and I think that's the right fear
once you realize you meet minimum
requirements you should be afraid okay I
can and now it's all a question of am I
actually going to do it and am I going
to follow through with it and then I'm
going to say to you you're focused on
the wrong thing
because it doesn't matter if you're ever
successful
because truly and to give you guys a
little bit of my background I went from
scrounging my couch cushions to find
enough change to put gas in my car to
helping build this technology company I
was hired as a copywriter and I worked
my way up I became a multi-millionaire
inside that company on paper
and I was miserable miserable
and I thought this is a joke I'm living
the cliche of money can't buy happiness
what the [ __ ] how many people had to say
it and I still didn't believe it like
how many people literally have to tell
you money is not going to give you the
thing you want I've had every
opportunity up here to be like yeah
[ __ ] get rich
that [ __ ] is cool as hell
and here's the thing people will chase
money forever why because it's real
money is real money is powerful
but money's not at all what you think it
is you think when it comes to success
like getting there making it achieving
it the way that you see somebody that's
achieved it now however you define that
and you look at them and you think oh my
God they're amazing you think you're
going to think the same thing about
yourself
and you won't and I had the very good
fortune my wealth came all at once
I built a company I had tons of equity
in the company I was worth hundreds of
millions of dollars on paper but I was
still driving a beat up car and my life
was whatever I was in a normal house I
was making a good salary no need to feel
sorry for me but in terms of like the
wealth moment it literally came in an
instant it was all right guys the
money's been wired and you hit Refresh
on your bank account refresh Professor
faster faster faster faster faster and
then bam you're [ __ ] crazy rich and
it's like commas and zeros and you're
like holy [ __ ]
I don't feel any differently about
myself
and all of my insecurities all the
things that I beat myself up for all of
it still right here it literally didn't
change anything I could buy neater stuff
but the only thing like if you want to
know what money really does
money lets you build
I'm building impact Theory I'm going to
win because I have the intensity and I
have the capital
that's money but money doesn't touch who
you are so my thing is I may go broke
building impact theory that that is a
reality
because I know the struggles guaranteed
the success isn't so it's very possible
I'm betting my fortune right now on
building this thing maybe it doesn't
work
but that won't touch how I feel about
myself
losing the money won't touch how I feel
about myself any more than making the
money couldn't touch how I felt about
myself because you either do the
internal work of like I know who I am
the thing that you'll resent isn't
whether or not you make it the thing
that you'll resent is now that you know
you can will you actually try
trying is what you're going to judge
yourself on
hey don't cheer on that that [ __ ] is
scary that's the one I want you guys to
think about today
because none of you
your family won't weep for you if you
don't succeed two things will happen on
your deathbed if you failed you really
went for something and you failed
one
they will all mourn that you weren't
able to live your life because you were
so myopically focused on the goal that
you forgot to enjoy the journey and
somewhere along the way you stopped
loving you stopped loving them you stop
loving yourself because all you could
see
was succeeding getting that thing the
tick on the paper box
and you lost your way that's possibility
number one
possibility number two
is they're like hey
this [ __ ] pride and it was
inspiring and just to see them go day
after day after day in the face of so
much defeat but to have the will and
determination to keep going
Winston Churchill said and I quote
Success is going from failure to failure
to failure without a loss of enthusiasm
it doesn't matter if you win that's not
success
the success is going from the failure to
the failure to the failure and still
being excited to show up it's like this
is how I liken success success is like
love you know the beautiful part about
love getting the [ __ ] kicked out of you
and then coming back for more
that's so hopeful that's so optimistic
to be like whoa I just had my ass handed
to me and yet I want to be vulnerable
again I want to go through this again I
want to open myself up to this I want to
be touched by that I want to feel that
[ __ ] people can get behind that man
we can get excited about that
we want to be friends with people like
that we want to feel that in our own
lives that willingness to to have tasted
defeat
and still come in open and not jaded how
beautiful is that
so I promise the only thing you will
ever judge yourself for is whether or
not you tried and since succeeding
doesn't matter you might as well try
you've written before about having no
Direction when you were younger until
you realized a growth mindset and
applied yourself what was and how did
you find the original motivation to see
change and break out of your old
patterns I find that's one of the
hardest things all right so this is of
course a very complex
um
answer to give you like every
nitty-gritty thing of how I ended up
finally making that shift would be it
would take like a six part uh
docu-series you know of four hours each
but I'll shorten it to the the like
trigger moment that really changed
everything so I go to my now
father-in-law to ask for his Blessing to
marry his daughter and he says no and I
was like whoa okay well at least you're
being honest and uh I had said look I
know what you see is this young broke
undereducated kid but I promise one day
I'm gonna make your daughter a wealthy
woman
and he was like very kind very kind my
father-in-law's always been
extraordinarily kind to me but he was
nonetheless honest about that he didn't
see how I was going to take care of his
daughter and he even asked me directly
he said look
I have become very successful my
father-in-law and I have given Lisa a
certain lifestyle and how do you plan to
take care of her
and I was like so full of that youthful
like no you don't understand like I'm
gonna become something and then I had to
reconcile that idea
because she ended up saying yes and then
I found myself laying in bed four to
five hours a day every day and I didn't
have a job and I was living in my
soon-to-be mother-in-law's house and my
wife well girlfriend at the time fiance
uh was working and my one job was to
make a sandwich for her when she came
home at lunch and there were times where
I was scrambling out of bed to have that
sandwich made before she walked in the
door and I was just like this is gnarly
how are you ever going to make her
wealthy if you're laying in bed all day
you barely get out of bed fast enough to
make her a sandwich at her lunch break
so she's already been at work for hours
and hours and hours gotten up gotten
dressed ready driven to work gone worked
for hours come back home to see you
you're scrambling out of bed your hair
is a mess you're wearing the same thing
every day
and not like in a Steve Jobs way in a
like I'm too lazy to get clothes away so
you look like a bum not doing your hair
I was a total mess
and
I'm just like how do I reconcile
that I actually believe one day I'm
gonna make her a wealthy woman but I'm
not getting out of bed
and that was when I realized there's a
difference between ambition being a
dreamer
and having drive and seeing those dreams
to fruition
and so I set a rule for myself because I
felt ashamed
and for the first time in my life I
didn't try to hide from the shame but it
was in this period that I started to
think of my then fiance soon to be wife
as a witness to my crimes
and I remember thinking
when I was alone I didn't feel that kind
of pressure to succeed I wanted to
succeed but I didn't feel pressure
because if I didn't nobody suffered But
Me Nobody lived in the unfurnished
apartment but me nobody had to sleep on
the air mattress but me
but now
my wife to be
was
going to be affected by whether I laid
in bed all day or not and that filled me
with shame and it filled me with shame
in a way that I didn't want to hide from
I felt like it was right to be ashamed
of my behavior not to think I was
worthless but to to say I need to earn
my worth
and so I set a rule which is that I was
going to get out of bed in 10 minutes or
less so from the time I realized I was
awake until my feet were on the floor
and I was out of bed was never going to
be more than 10 minutes
and in many ways that's become one of my
most important rules I live by it to
this day
some 20 years later that I get out of
bed in 10 minutes or less doesn't matter
no matter what's going on I'm out of bed
in 10 minutes or less
and that one step
got me to start working and they got me
up and saying okay what are my dreams
what's the obstacle that stands between
where I'm at and where I'm trying to get
to what can I do in the next 15 minutes
that will move me closer to my goal and
I started doing those things and it just
became this routine this Habit to get up
and get moving and
I never would have gotten there had I
said something like who does my
father-in-law think he is to say that
money doesn't matter
you know he doesn't know what we're
about or what we want to do and
instead I said
either stop saying that you're going to
achieve greatness and recognize what you
want to do is lay in bed tell your
fiance that's the truth of who you want
to be and where you want to go which by
the way is absolutely fine
but don't say you're going to do one
thing and then actually do another
there's no Integrity in that
and that hurt and I didn't like the way
that felt to recognize that I was saying
something but it was just rhetoric
wasn't actually living up to it
and then it felt so good so good so
unbelievably good
to do exactly what I said I was going to
do
and
on a very long timeline it finally made
my wife a wealthy woman so I actually
did get this incredible moment which
will remain one of the greatest moments
of my life I'm sure forever when Jesus
13 years later
my father-in-law came to visit
this is when I was at Quest and there's
300 000 square feet
a thousand employees walking around
protein bars coming off the line at like
1.5 million bars a day
and I said Andreas do you remember
asking me how I was going to take care
of your daughter he said yes
and I said how am I doing
and he just started to cry and it was so
awesome
like I said he had always been so kind
and once we he knew that we were going
to get married whether uh he wanted us
to or not he never did anything but
support us but to have that moment
for myself for him for Lisa for it to
all have been
the result
of a simple rule
to get out
within 10 minutes
and start doing whatever my goals demand
and that was all it took a little bit of
Shame
acted on
what is up my friend Tom bilyu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
right I've just released a class from
Impact Theory university called how to
build Ironclad discipline that teaches
y