Kind: captions
Language: en
what is up everybody we're going to talk
about how to hone in on the things that
are going to make you way more powerful
now the key is you cannot let yourself
get sucked into bad habits that will
destroy your overall success and at the
end of the day I can tell you right now
success comes down to your mindset your
willpower and your ability to master new
skills and this episode is going to
bring it all together so let's get into
it
if you want to achieve anything amazing
in your life I can tell you right now
you've got to break your bad habits if
you want to achieve something incredible
step number one is to understand that
the way that you break your bad habits
is by letting them atrophy so you don't
spend a lot of time thinking about the
bad habit and how we're going to break
it you have to find something new that
you're going to put your time and
attention into now there is a bit of
both though so it's going to go like
this step number one you're going to
pattern interrupt you go to do that
negative thing you call it out
immediately you stop yourself in the
middle of it if you let's say that you
want to get in shape and your bad habit
is midnight snacking and you're so used
to doing it that you sleep walk out of
bed you open that fridge and you start
cramming things into your face and you
get four bites into stuffing your mouth
most people go up it's already shot it's
already wasted it's done I might as well
finish the thing not any more that
doesn't make any [ __ ] sense
whatsoever at the moment that you
realize you're doing the thing that you
said that you weren't going to do you're
going to pattern interrupt say I don't
do this anymore I don't snack at
midnight you can say it with crumbs
hanging on your face the taste of cookie
in your mouth
you're going to remind yourself I don't
do midnight snacking
spit out what you have left throw away
what's in your hand close the
refrigerator door swish your mouth out
spit back in the sink brush your teeth
do whatever you have to do to remind
yourself that in fact you don't do that
thing anymore all right that's the easy
part pattern interrupting the new thing
is you've got to have a new habit
develop to develop a habit you've got to
identify something that you want
the whole point to building a habit is
that it's going to get you somewhere
that you want to go if you don't want to
go somewhere badly enough you will not
have the energy that you need to see it
through when you go to the fridge and it
tastes so good when you're eating
the thought of having six-pack abs or
the thought of holding your kid as they
grow up the thought of being able to
walk your daughter down the aisle
whatever it is that's motivating you to
want to get in shape in that moment it's
got to show up and it's got to show big
so the way that we break the bad habits
the way that we let them atrophy is we
get so excited about this new thing that
we're putting all of our time and
attention into that suddenly that other
thing begins to fall away because it is
the enemy of what we want and we
actually want this thing that's why you
can't pick [ __ ] you've got to pick
something that you actually care about
this has got to be something that you
really want now
if your secret question is
Tom
how do I build a habit
when I don't know what I want
then the answer is very different then
the answer is you have to find something
that you want and build desire around it
now you find the thing that you want by
going and exploring by playing by trying
things trying a lot of things until you
find something
that gives you more energy than it takes
think about your life how many things
drain you of energy how many rob you how
many make you tired how many wear you
out how many make you want to stop and
go home how many make you want to punch
yourself in the face how many make you
want to punch somebody else in the face
how many of them rule your life choices
now when you're doing something that
makes you rule your life choice that's
when we say ah this is something that
takes more energy than it gives so we're
going to go out and we're going to find
that thing that gives you just a little
bit of an edge it makes you feel alive
it's exciting to do you look forward to
it it's the kind of thing that you do on
a weekend
that you look back and say man I had a
lot of fun that weekend
we're going to find that thing
then we're going to build desire around
it
to build desire around it it's going to
have to tie into you making your life
better and
making the life of somebody else better
as well it's just the way that it goes
the way the human mind is wired for you
to really get something out of what
you're doing it's got to serve not only
yourself but other people so how is this
thing that you love doing let's take a
tar something that feels like maybe this
is just a purely selfish thing to do
and see how we can do that in service of
not only ourselves but other people so
let's say that you sit down you decide
you want to get good at guitar because
you want to be a rock star you want to
be out on stage you want everybody's
eyes on you
it's a very selfish thing right
well why are they giving you their eyes
because you're making them feel some
kind of way you're able to uplift
somebody on their worst day
you're able to change somebody's mood do
you know how powerful music is
read the book by Oliver Sacks about
music
which I'm forgetting the name of but
it's about Sound and Music specifically
by Oliver Sacks
and in it he talks about how you can
have somebody in the grips of
Alzheimer's disease but they'll remember
their favorite songs from when they were
a kid you can have somebody that's in a
vegetative state and their brain waves
will change when you play music from
their past it's absolutely incredible
music is one of the last things to go
when the mind deteriorates so now yes
you wanted to be on stage because you
want the attention you wanted to be on
stage because you want to be celebrated
you want to be a rock star
but now if you really want to have the
desire that you need to have to make
this a new habit something that sticks
in your life something that you will
have the energy and the ability to fight
through to focus on when all of the
other bad habits are calling your name
you shifted to I'm not just doing this
because I want to be a rock star I'm
doing this
because I want to change somebody's mood
because I want to give them a song that
they can fall in love with
that they can fall in love too that they
can sing to their child that they can
create family memories around
and it becomes about that connection
with them it becomes about something
that you can give to them it becomes
about connection it becomes about
service
and once you get that now you're in the
process of building desire
now you have a real reason for wanting
to do that you see that you can move and
impact other people and we have
hardwired into our brain a desire to
serve the group and when you do that now
you've got the energy that you're going
to need now you've got the desire that's
going to allow you to see this through
long enough to repeat it
over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over long enough
to become
a habit something that you do habitually
something that you do without thinking
that's really where you have to take the
Habit it's got to be something that you
do without thinking and we only get to
that stage
because we love it as the joke goes
you don't have to convince somebody to
get fat that just takes care of itself
because all you have to do is eat food
you really want to eat and sit around
the house and do nothing that one's easy
that comes easily getting in shape
that one's hard
you've got to do things you've got to
earn that
you've got to put in work you've got to
be bored you've got to push through pain
you've got to be disciplined you've got
to not eat things
we want to eat the only way to do that
is to really want the thing on the other
side of that difficult choice
so the question is what gives you enough
energy that you're willing to get into
that Loop of Desire
to figure out how it connects you to
other people how it lets you serve other
people to bring that front and center as
you're doing that thing if you do all of
that even in this explanation can you
see that thinking about doing something
that allows you to serve other people
how badly you want it to be on stage to
connect to do something that adds value
you're not thinking about that old thing
that you used to do in my case it was
lay in bed
I wanted to lay in bed and just hide
away from the world and be warm and cozy
once I realized
that I could change my wife's life
and the lives of everyone in my family
if I just got out of bed
did that hard cold thing
and pushed myself
to become better
at business
at writing
speaking in front of a camera that if I
did those things I could build something
that other people couldn't build and now
here we are but it started with that
desire because I really did used to lay
in bed four to five hours a day every
single day
that was a bad habit and I broke it by
saying I don't lay in bed
I get out of bed in 10 minutes or less
no matter what rail sleet heat snow cold
hopefully not in my bedroom but you get
the idea no matter what I'm getting out
of bed
so identity statement pattern interrupt
desire execution and any habit is yours
to have
greatness awaits
My Life For Better or Worse has been one
long battle to overcome my lesser
instincts so I've had many bad habits in
my life the most brutal one is laying in
bed that was the one that I really had
to overcome but the other is when I was
a kid I was diagnosed with hyperactivity
disorder nowadays they would call it
ADHD
and while I know some people are going
to say that that isn't a habit I'm here
to tell you whatever you allow yourself
to do is a habit unless you have
like a twitch or something that has a
neurological underpinning that you can
identify and even those things you can
almost certainly do things and make them
worse and things that make them easier
to deal with so we're going to take full
responsibility for our lives and realize
that we can do things to break these
habits so for me getting out of bed for
me allowing myself to be distracted for
me not sitting down and meditating when
I knew that that is one of the ways that
you can build the discipline that you
need to stay on task to stay focused and
another one and this is a bad habit that
I know a lot of you right now have lean
in
I so often see people make the same
mistake that I suffered from for years
and still to this day must stop myself
from doing
and that is doing the easy things first
doing the fun things first
the right order to do things is order of
importance what's the lead Domino as Tim
Ferriss would say you know what your
goal is you know where you're trying to
go you know what you're trying to get to
what's the order in which you can
execute on your task list that's going
to make everything easier if I do this
first thing first everything after this
is going to be a little bit easier
because this contributes to the most
things in the downline
so I'll give you an example in business
if ever you have two tasks before you
that are of equal importance and one of
those tasks is hiring hiring is always
the lead Domino because now you have
doubled the amount of things that can
get done because before it was just you
if you hire now there's you and this new
person but all the time I see people
avoid doing the hiring because it's a
pain in the ass it is a long difficult
process it requires you to do a lot of
boring [ __ ] but the reality is if you
keep putting it off it never happens and
you end up doing everything yourself
forever because you failed to recognize
that hiring as a lead Domino from there
everything else in your life gets easier
so yes you have to do the hard thing up
front and I struggled with this with
hiring I came up with this rule because
as Nietzsche says I don't know if he
said this exact words because this might
be somebody else's phrase but certainly
this idea
is well in his world
that every theory is autobiographical
every theory is autobiographical so if
ever you hear somebody say everybody's
an [ __ ] what do you know about them
they're an [ __ ] so when I say
that hey
if you struggle with getting out of bed
it's because
hey
you're doing the easy things first it's
because these are the things that I've
struggled with my life so no judgment
but it is not useful it is not easy it
is not going to serve you you want to
make sure that you write things down so
write them down before you get to that
point so I keep an important things list
so just doing things willy-nilly one of
the biggest habits I had to break so I
started writing it down
I put them in order
and I forced myself bad habit oh these
things are equally important
no they're not you have to force
yourself to Force rank them so break my
bad habit no they're not I'm the kind of
person that can put things in sequential
order there is only one number one there
was only one number two there was only
one number three so on and so forth
some of this stuff comes down to you
just do or don't do it it's that simple
as Yoda would say
there is no try do or do not so we're
not going to allow ourselves that excuse
we're going to put things in order the
number one thing is the lead Domino
that's going to knock everything else
out and then I'm going to be disciplined
enough to actually execute in that order
and I because I'm so easily distracted
I'm not going to allow myself to be
distracted and because I know how easy
it is for me to get off task I'm going
to practice coming back to the task back
to the task back to the task for
meditation so I'm going to do that at
least five days a week and I'm going to
bring myself back to the breath back to
the breath so I get very good
coming back to the breath which makes me
very good at getting back on track
and so constantly taking responsibility
in my own life which that is the
motherload so of course
in the beginning I was making everything
everybody else's fault it's not my fault
my car broke down how could I have been
on time it's not my fault I was never
taught that in school it's not my fault
I don't come from money it's not my
fault my parents didn't teach me that
it's not my fault my mom smoked when she
was pregnant
it's not my fault I was raised with a
bad diet it's not my fault I have bad
genetics
those are all real excuses that I've
made and then one day I realized well
maybe that's true
because the most Insidious thing about
excuses is that they're valid all of
those things really are true I'm not
nearly as smart as I want to be
I'm sure that my mom's smoking while she
was pregnant did not help my memory
which is one of the things that I
struggle with the most another one
not my fault I have a bad memory
but the reality is that either I
recognize this is how my life is and now
I'm going to do things the way that I
need to do push harder in areas that
other people don't have to push into my
wife who's half my size can match me
calorie for calorie and she will sweat
through the bed sheets and I'll get fat
and that's really frustrating now I can
either complain about that or I can
recognize cool my wife has genetics that
are very good at kicking off extra heat
as a way to get rid of excess calories
rather than storing this fat but my
reality is that I do sort as fat so I'm
going to have to address my diet if I
want to have a certain physique it just
is what it is and by moaning about it
and recognizing that it isn't fair and
blaming God or my parents or whatever I
make no progress by owning that myself
and no longer making those excuses I'm
able to break that bad habit and now
start making real progress in my life
and that's the whole point it isn't to
be shamed it isn't to feel bad it's not
to have any guilt whatsoever I don't
think you should waste any time with
that I think you should merely recognize
that you're in control you could make a
different choice and get a different
outcome and once you realize life's
greatest gift
you're always in control you can always
make a different choice and thusly get a
different outcome
if you don't believe me read two books
Man's Search for meaning by Victor
Frankel about a man in a concentration
camp who realizes he can always control
his own mind
and read the gulag archipelago by Solja
knitson
it is an insane tale about how even in
torture some people would refuse to
break now
they got killed that's a pretty
compelling example
there's just some people there's nothing
you can do to make them give up the
sovereignty of their own mind
now
I don't know that I'm man enough to do
it let's be real honest but it's a
powerful reminder that
I have a choice down to the nubbins so
if we all know that we can make a
different choice and get a different
outcome
then we can take control of our lives
and do whatever it is that we are trying
to accomplish but first you have to
realize that that's a bad habit that
you're doing because a lot of people
just think that they're recognizing
reality
but in truth you've identified yet
another bad habit I was certainly one of
my worst so yeah staying in bed too long
making excuses the ultimate bad habit
um not doing things in proper order
doing things willy-nilly those were
really the ones that over time I've had
to shave away to really make progress in
my life but if you listen to none of
that remember the one thing never and I
mean never make excuses
I cannot guarantee that there will be
any success in your life but I can
guarantee that there will be struggle so
the key is to understand what kind of
mindset you have to build in order to
push through the difficult times so that
you can achieve your goals even when
things are brutally difficult when you
set a goal your goals make a demand they
tell you exactly what you have to do in
order to accomplish the things you want
to accomplish if you want to be a gold
medalist in the Olympics then your ass
better get up and train like a gold
medalist has to train and if you want to
win a gold medal in swimming you better
not be training in tennis or playing
video games that doesn't make any sense
your goals dictate that you've got to be
out there playing in the swimming pool
practicing in the pool swimming the laps
putting it in getting good at the things
you need to do
to win that specific event
but the mindset
is one of pushing through pain
holding yourself accountable identifying
the obstacles finding a solution always
being solution oriented mindset and by
the way greeting pain like an old friend
let's see how angry I can make people
with something that is the God's honest
truth
when I'm trying to get lean
and I think everybody should develop the
ability to lose fat in a controlled
fashion nobody should do it and give
into mental illness and I understand
that that can be a trigger for people
everyone should develop the ability to
do it well you should be in control of
your body your body should not be in
control of you when I am going hard and
dieting and trying to get lean
I welcome the hunger as an old friend
because the hunger is a reminder that
I'm moving towards my goal now I want to
remind everybody you're doing this in a
way that is good for your body you're
not doing this in a way that is
destructive in no way shape or form am I
going to accept the excuse that people
oh I can't do it because I can't control
my life and therefore people let
themselves spiral get whatever help you
need do whatever you have to do to do
this well but you must develop a healthy
relationship with food and part of that
is being in control of your mindset and
as you move forward and develop this
very healthy relationship with food
you're going to understand that you're
in control that the signals your body is
giving you is information it is not an
Impulse that you have to act on so when
I would get hungry when I was getting
myself lean I wouldn't go oh this hunger
means that I must go eat right now no
it's simply information what that
information is is that I'm turning
fat into energy and in that process the
body is sending me a signal that I have
this far interpreted in my life to mean
that I am hungry and thusly need to go
eat food I'm going to re-contextualize
that desire and I'm going to make no
excuses and say my goal demands that
this is what I eat I'm going to make
sure that my goal is Honorable I'm going
to make sure that my goal is healthy but
if my goal is Honorable and healthy and
my goal demands that I act in a certain
way eat certain foods not eat other
Foods I'm going to do it and when the
Hunger Pains come I'm not going to make
an excuse to say well I have to eat
because I'm hungry I'm going to make
sure my body has what it needs I'm going
to make sure that mentally I'm in a good
place and I'm going to do what my goals
demand period end of story simple as now
whenever somebody hears I know that this
is going to really upset people
and I want you to understand when you
get upset like that
it's pushing a button inside of you on
something that you don't have ownership
of over yet
and if you want a mindset that is going
to allow you to achieve your goals you
have to understand what is real and you
have to be able to sort the truth from
the [ __ ] now the reality is all of
us have our limit
but we can push that limit farther you
have to be able to create that animal
inside of you that is discipline
Drive desire
hunger
myopically focused on what your goal is
what your outcome is and the ability to
push through and to keep going with all
the people yelling and screaming in your
ear telling you
it's not achievable for you it doesn't
make sense whatever it is that they're
telling you
if your goal is Honorable
keep going
chin down
muscles tensed
anger
at the center of your soul
Channel it
focus it be able to endure one of my
favorite quotes I'm going to paraphrase
but this is really close
to the people I care most about in the
world
I wish you suffering
failure pain
embarrassment loss
anguish grief
because
being able to push through those things
proves the only thing that really
matters and that is the ability to
endure
if you're ready to level up all you need
to do is take the steps with the
curriculum and Community that's going to
get you there enroll right now in Impact
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life
if you want to achieve really amazing
goals the kind that make the hair stand
up on the back of your neck the kind
that make you excited to be the person
that you are the kind that wake you up
in the morning early to get out of bed
with a spring in your step to go do this
thing because it's challenging and it's
amazing and it's exciting you're going
to have to have ferocity
you are going to have to be intense
you're going to have to be able to
endure you're going to have to be able
to push through pain you're going to
have to be able to get yourself excited
you're going to have to be able to do
things that other people say are
impossible you're going to have to keep
going when it's hard when it's cold when
you're tired when you're bored when
you're broke when you're angry when
you're whatever the [ __ ] is going on in
your head that makes you feel weak and
it will come for you as it comes for me
all the time and in that moment you have
to be able to shift into that gear that
says I will not let anybody stop me let
alone me now that will not happen by
accident you will not suddenly wake up
with that energy that energy comes from
cultivating that energy comes from
telling everybody that's telling you
that you're being too intense you're
being too hardcore that you would never
want to be Goggins to [ __ ] off
weak-minded people get weak-minded lives
strong-minded people get strong-minded
lives what do you want do you want
external things to control you or do you
want to control yourself
one of the earliest breakthroughs that I
had in my life was when I realized that
I had the ability to self-soothe
I could run into something really
painful really embarrassing really
difficult and I could get re-centered
and keep pushing forward not because I'm
special because let me tell you I'm not
because I realized I couldn't trust my
emotions
that my emotions were coming from a
place of weakness that I had not gotten
control of yet
and that my job was to get control of it
and a big part of getting control of it
is just not allowing that in yourself
you have to set a standard for who you
want to be and then strive to be that
person there is so much power just in
being willing to admit to yourself where
you're really at once you know you can
trust yourself to admit where you're
really at then you can build a path
an actual plan
to get yourself where you want to go
but if you lie about where you're at
the subconscious part of your brain that
you're going to have to get on board is
not going to believe you and you won't
get where you want to go because you
won't trust yourself to take the actual
steps so stop bullshitting hold yourself
accountable Walk The Walk
you do that
you've got a mindset that can handle the
pain and the suffering you'll get where
you want to go you're going to fail in
your life that I can promise you the
only way to do and achieve anything
interesting is to risk failure the good
news is that failure is the number one
most information Rich data stream on
planet Earth so failing is actually a
big part of the process so I don't want
you to worry about the fact that you're
going to fail I just want to make sure
that you have the mindset that's going
to allow you to rebound from that so
when you feel broken when you feel
embarrassed when you've been knocked
your knees you're going to be able to
rebound quickly because you have a
mindset that understands the nature of
failure itself and the nature of failure
itself is that if you're willing to
stare nakedly at your inadequacies
completely accept that that failure was
entirely your fault not point the blame
at anybody else even if there really are
people to blame because that's not going
to help you other than to say I picked
the wrong people or I didn't help them
get the skill that they needed whatever
but looking for what you would do
differently next time so you can
actually do it different next time so
you can actually get the better result
if you can do all that stir nakedly at
your inadequacies recognize what you
need to do differently and then have the
strength
to endure through all of that emotional
pain and the boredom of having to do
this again with a slight tweak on it to
improve to iterate
and then try it again
then you're going to be able to get
where you want to go then you're going
to be able to run what I call the
physics of progress the physics of
progress are exactly what I just said
you try something to the best of your
ability
you fail to some extent
you don't make excuses you stare nakedly
at your inadequacies you figure out what
you did wrong what you can do
differently next time then you do that
different thing next time
you will fail again though but you'll be
a little bit closer you'll once again
assess nakedly you will get a little bit
smarter you will try again and you will
just keep going in that Loop over and
over and over and that Loop will lead
you where you want to go
so when you feel like you've lost your
willpower the answer is just get up and
try again
and if you don't have the energy ask
yourself one simple question why are you
doing what you're doing there's a reason
that Simon sinek Says start with why
once you know why you're doing what
you're doing now you've got the chance
to actually dig deep in those moments
where you feel that everything you've
built inside of you has failed you
you're going to be able to reach in
remember why you're doing this which is
definitively going to be about you and
how you can help other people and if
it's not if it's just about you we found
the problem because you need to do
something that allows you to serve not
only yourself but other people we have
an inbred need to serve the tribe so
figure it out figure out how what you're
doing is going to help other people lock
in on that also in those moments where
you're down and if you ask yourself why
am I doing this and you think of all the
beautiful things you're going to do all
the people that you're going to help and
it's still not enough
and those times will happen
you're on your knees
no amount
of helping somebody else is going to get
you back up
you know what's going to serve you in
that moment
the darkness
the dark side
anger
rage
Fury
ferocity
if you don't have those if you can't
access them if you think that they are
off limits in some way
you won't have what you need to be
resilient when your willpower fails you
so my friends
as Jordan Peterson says
become a dangerous man
or woman
be capable
of great violence
and keep it under wraps
because in that moment when you're
broken what I want you to do is channel
into that and you're going to think
about the people that want you to fail
you're going to think about the people
that will dance in your grave you want
to think about the people that will
laugh as they read your obituary who
will laugh as they think about all the
things you said you were going to do
that you never did and that they knew
you were a loser
think about them
and in that moment
Raise Your Weapon
in your mind of course
and refuse
to let them be right
it's easy to look at me as an after
photo now because I've achieved success
but there was a time where I was broke
and alone and nobody knew not even
myself if I was actually going to
achieve the things that I set out to do
I had told my wife that I was going to
make her a wealthy woman I had told my
father-in-law don't worry I know who you
see as a young out of work kid that's
broke that's not going to be able to
take care of your daughter but I promise
you and this is a quote I will one day
make your daughter a wealthy woman and
after that whole speech my now
father-in-law told me he did not want me
to marry his daughter now he's always
been very kind to me and even in that
moment he was kind but he was not
unclear about the fact that he did not
think I was the right person to marry
his daughter because he didn't see how I
was going to take care of her and so
there were many a night where I thought
about the people him included and other
people who have made fun of me over the
years that every time I fail or fall
down they are there to laugh or the
people that have called me idiots in
front of an entire company of people now
not once not twice not a dozen times not
two dozen times fifty times a hundred
times
too many times to count I think of their
face
I think of winning
I think of defeating them
I think of
Victory and nothing short of rising up
covered in blood
and battle scars
and I'm sure to some people that sounds
cheesy but that [ __ ] gets me going when
I'm in that dark place
and I need that extra bit now it's a
dangerous tactic so you don't want to
spend too much time there you do not
want to spend a lot of time thinking
about the people that want to tear you
down you don't want to spend a lot of
time thinking about the people that are
going to laugh in your grave you don't
want to spend a lot of time thinking
about the [ __ ] that have
doubted you before this moment you don't
want to spend a lot of time there but
God damn it in that narrow band where
nothing else is going to get you back up
you better know how to tap into that you
better be able to put your chin down
Furrow your brow imagine grabbing your
[ __ ] sword and getting off your knees
and slaying some dragons and if you
can't imagine that you will stay broken
there's the light side of the force and
there's the dark side and if you only
know one you will be a victim to the
other
if you really want to master a skill and
truly become one of the greats there are
certain habits that you are going to
have to master if you want to pull it
off
a lot of this is going to sound really
boring but I'm telling you if you don't
do this stuff you will never get there
number one is sleep
you must get your sleep you're going to
have to optimize your body and your
cognition I don't care what it is that
you're trying to do if you do not
optimize your mind and your body you are
never going to get there that's why when
I see people that are slaves to their
bodies
I know they're in trouble it does not
mean that they are morally worth less it
just means that they are not setting
themselves up for Success get control of
your body get control of your emotions
you must do those two things get control
of your body this has somehow become a
contentious thing boys and girls I'm
telling you right now if your body
controls you if your body is telling you
what to eat if your body is telling you
when to get up you when to sleep you
when to move you're gonna have a problem
that doesn't mean we don't listen to our
bodies our bodies are super intelligent
but it does mean that in a modern
context with a modern diet and terrible
sleep habits that the odds are
that our body is disregulated so the
things that are saying don't make any
sense it's kind of like when you get
drunk you're not saying you're most
coherent [ __ ] and if your body's totally
knocked out of whack by what you're
eating and how you're sleeping the
sensations that it's going to try to use
to communicate with you to are going to
be out of whack so you have to be very
careful get control of your body get
control of your mind sleep eat well
it's beyond the scope of this question
to say specifically what that is but eat
whole food whenever humanly possible and
reduce your carbohydrate intake
that's about as simple and basic as we
can make it quickly
so once you've got
your sleep happening your diet's right
now we're going to make sure that we
meditate it's going to help us stay
focused it's going to help us lower our
anxiety and our stress which is going to
shift what part of our brain we're in so
your nervous system can go from fight or
flight to rest and digest the
sympathetic nervous system fight or
flight the parasympathetic nervous
system rest and digest okay we want to
be able to shift out of those as the
situation demands it but most people
spend so much time in fight or flight
that they actually don't know how to
shift back over to the other side you're
going to need to do that you can't do
that you're never going to achieve
anything great I promise you because you
are a slave to your body you are a slave
to your anxiety you're a slave to your
fear again I know
because I struggled with it very
profoundly how did I get out of it
sleep
diet being the biggest component
exercise another great one
working out it's going to teach you a
lot about yourself it's going to help
you get control of your body and your
mind got those things right
lowered my anxiety from a dietary
perspective meditated a lot started to
control the emotional component
have a healthy distrust of my emotions
so that just because I feel angry does
not mean that I should go act angry a
lot of times I'm like maybe that's an
insecurity that they've triggered in me
and if it is an insecurity that they've
triggered me why on Earth would I play
that out
it doesn't make any sense my goals do
not demand that behavior my goals demand
that I Stay
centered able to communicate well to
other people
by doing that now I can move towards my
goals now I can take a step towards
greatness but you really have to get
those basic mind and body habits right
daily
if you're going to make progress towards
something that is hard it just is the
truth hard [ __ ] is hard and to stay
focused and pushing through the hard
things you've got to have optimized your
body and your mind and to make sure that
you're not a slave to your emotions
because if you let them run away with
you you are never going to be centered
and make the optimal choice you might be
aggressive when you should be calm you
might be calm and you should be
aggressive if you don't have your wits
about you
and you can think straight then you're
not going to be able to get where you
want to go and then next boys and girls
you've got to understand that this whole
game is turning potential into skill set
and how do we do that disciplined
practice we know what we want
and now we're going to go after it in a
hyper disciplined way we're going to
learn everything that we can as fast as
we can and we're going to start
deploying that knowledge that day
so you want to launch a website you want
to learn about launching a website Cool
from nine to noon we're going to learn
from 1201 to bedtime we're going to
execute
not in a week not in a month not when
I'm sure I know what I'm doing because
you're gonna have to fight through a lot
of fear to get to the other side you're
going to have to embarrass yourself over
and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over until
you learn and get it right
it just is what it is unless you're a
super genius and if you are God bless
you
shocked that you made it this far
through the content but
all the rest of us Mortals have to run
the physics of progress have to make
mistakes have to fail over and over and
over now if you're fighting against your
emotions the first time you fail you're
going to make it somebody else's problem
you're going to run in the opposite
direction you're going to make sure that
you never find yourself in that
situation again because there's two
things that you can do with
embarrassment
I'm never going to be in that situation
again
and run in the opposite direction or I'm
never going to be that unskillful again
in which case you run towards
problem which is your skill set you
address it and then you move towards the
problem
and you try again and you realize whoa I
got better you still probably won't be
as good as you need to be and so you'll
be in the process again but each time
you'll notice that you're getting a
little bit closer to your goal
but you have to have everything else
right
or you won't even get out of the
starting blocks do you know why I've
been able to achieve things in my life
that most people haven't even though I
am I promise you of average intelligence
any guesses
I didn't give up
everybody else gives up
the first time the first time
people embarrass themselves
70 give up
second time another seventy percent
third time another seventy so on and so
forth until that remaining percentage is
ridiculously small in absolute numbers
so I just don't give up
in fact we'll call that a daily habit
I don't quit
I embarrass myself I fail a lot
I'm constantly confronted by my limited
intelligence in a way that actually is
very emotionally difficult but because
I'm not a slave to my emotions I don't
let that derail me I ask myself what
needs to be done in order for me to
accomplish my goal remember from an
earlier answer I said hey
I write down the important things I put
them in order I know what I should be
executing against so hey I just failed
wow that really sucks feel really stupid
people are laughing at me huh what's
next on my important things list do that
just keep going down the list and then
the greatest
irony of all time
you can stack failure on a long timeline
why why does that work
because in Failure you learn something
unless you make excuses but if you're
making excuses when you fail you will
have run in the opposite direction a
long time ago so none of this is going
to matter
but when you fail and don't make excuses
that knowledge that you get from each of
those failures stacks and now you become
a little bit better now over time
you're able to do things other people
can't do and so one of the things you
need to remind yourself on a daily basis
is on a long enough timeline I can learn
so much that I can be anyone at anything
and the reason you can be anyone and
anything is you're the only one that's
never going to give up
you and me
it's just the two of us it really is
just the two of us
everyone else
it's comical it's heartbreaking it is
the central fight of my life to figure
out what do I need to do and say to get
people to not give up in fact all the
words about everybody giving up is also
that hopefully you don't give up
I want that for you I believe in it for
you because I know that it worked for me
that it works for me every day
I was originally hired as an employee at
a company
but they said hey don't think of
yourself as an employee
you can become an owner but you have to
earn that
and if you earn it then that opportunity
is there for you I saw them give that
speech to 50 people maybe more
but I actually became an owner
and I went from copywriter to owning 10
of that company
and then the next company that we
started we started as equal partners and
that company was Quest Nutrition so the
first company well I started as a
copywriter we built it into a
multi-million dollar company
then Quest becomes a billion dollar
success story
now impact theory is my third
multi-million dollar company in a row
average intelligence
but I've got my body right
my mind right
a willingness to push through
to embarrass myself
and to realize that if I just don't give
up and I never make excuses
and I'm willing to fail and learn and
try again
that I really can do something great
but it's from a really basic set of
things that I do every day go to bed on
time sleep as much as I need don't use
an alarm clock
intermittent fast
every day
eat whole food only whenever humanly
possible
exercise
love in fact that's what I'm going to
say
I have a loving wife that matters a lot
get somebody in your life that you love
that loves you back it's [ __ ]
incredible one of the most important
things you could do
and then
important things go down that list what
you got what are you doing
and then just keep learning keep
executing never give up be ferocious in
all things and you've got it
get after it it's just you and I we
might as well everybody else is going to
quit
impact Theory University one full year
for only
997 dollars and if you act now you get
to join my exclusive live 90 minute
Workshop called make any goal stick the
great news is I don't care if you were
the highest achiever in the world in
2022 or of 2022 beat you down hard 22
has been a brutal year for a lot of
people and that's why I'm going to be
going live later this month to host a
workshop on exactly what you need to do
if you want to make any goal stick do
not miss it there is a huge difference
between putting in 10 000 hours versus
deliberate practice now what is this
whole idea of the ten thousand hours
it's actually an idea that was first put
forth by Anders Erickson uh talking
about deliberate practice and how when
you do that for roughly 10 000 hours
that you achieve greatness the idea was
popularized by Malcolm Gladwell and it
is a brilliant idea that if you're going
hard at something in a very deliberate
and specific way designed to get better
at each Unique Piece of That Thing
whether it's chess building a business
um setting an Olympic weightlifting
record whatever it's going to be a lot
of little discreet packets and if you
figure out how to get good at each of
those things then
by doing all of that for about 10 000
hours you will have hit what I'll call
the first rung of mastery
because let me tell you the things that
I'm really good at in my life I've put a
lot more than ten thousand hours into it
now what I want to differentiate between
is ten thousand hours of just repeating
something versus ten thousand hours of
deliberate practice deliberate practice
is about breaking that thing down into
all these little discrete pieces so if
for anybody out there that's ever tried
to get good at music I played the
trombone for
a lot of years seven years eight years
something like that and you have to play
scales a lot of scales you have to
figure out your lip position you have to
figure out how to hold the slide how to
move the slide how to read music you
have to figure out all those different
discrete pieces then you put them
together into uh
uh over an amount of time into a play
style that allows you to actually
contribute to the band or to play a solo
or whatever it is you're trying to do
but you have to do all of those things
well for it to come together in a way
that you can actually play music well so
if I just played around on the trombone
for ten thousand hours I would be more
or less the same skill level at the ten
thousand hours I would not have achieved
Mastery but if I go in okay here's
scales here's lit position here's
reading music Here's how to move the
slide all of that here's how to play
this piece of music this part in the
music I'm bad at how do I go and figure
out is it reading the music poorly is it
playing that rhythm of notes what is it
practicing that thing to get good at
that part of the music because there's
no way to Outsource that so I've got to
get good at that in fact it's about not
playing the parts that I'm good at that
I really want to play and focusing on
the part that I suck at
until I get good at it
so that I can progress overall as a
musician that's deliberate practice
versus ten thousand hours it's not just
putting in the Reps right as they say
practice makes perfect no
perfect deliberate practice makes
perfect
any deviation from that is going to be
sub-optimal
and that's why we keep refining we keep
going and we keep pushing limits because
ten thousand hours really is the Bottom
Rung you can constantly get better there
has not been any one thing in my life
that I have ever thought oh I'm as good
as I'm ever going to get at this thing
now there is definitely a point of
diminishing returns where I'm not
getting good as fast as I was getting
before there are definitely things where
I realize uh maybe I should Outsource
this part of it right so in business no
one person is going to be equally great
at everything there are so many
subdivisions in business that that's why
most people end up hiring just I mean if
they're the even they make it all the
way to the top and they're the CEO even
if they're in a company of a thousand
people it's they do one very important
thing but they do a small handful of
things and then you've got a thousand
people under them that handle all of
those other tasks so as a percentage it
really is minuscule even for the CEO so
it's figuring out what are the things
that I'm going to go develop Mastery and
what are the things that I'm going to
Outsource okay so you are looking for
that right so there are just certain
things for me that I'm not good at I
don't get a big return so like when I
try to deal with the financial stuff I'm
just like Jesus nothing about this comes
intuitively or easy for me and so while
I need to understand it well enough to
not be bamboozled
I'm not going to become the CFO
I'm not even going to become the CEO
there are things about that that I also
need to get good at but the thing that I
am good at Vision people execution
marketing that like getting good at that
okay that's where I'm going to put my
energy and my effort
so leaning into the things that you get
disproportionate returns leaning into
the things that you love and are willing
to put in that kind of
struggle pushing past boredom I've said
many times that boredom kills more
dreams than fear or failure because you
have to do those scales over and over
and over you have to focus on the part
that you can't Outsource but does not
come easily to you you have to go
grinding into those areas over and over
and over until you get good but the
great news is the odds of you finding
something that you will get so good at
that you truly cannot eke out any more
progress in a human lifespan is
virtually zero that is one of the most
beautiful things so guys break it down
into those discrete packets make sure
that you have the energy and the
fortitude to push through all the
boredom to get to that point where
you're really getting good and then make
sure that this is something that's
beautiful exciting thrilling enough and
helps enough people that you go long
past those ten thousand hours if you do
that in the format of deliberate
practice truly the sky's the limit
one of the key things if you've got a
goal that really matters to you and
you're trying to build up to it is to
make sure that you're tracking your
progress the key to tracking your
progress is to pick the most salient
stat that you can track now the problem
is people tend to track what's easiest
to track
that's not going to work you have to
track something that actually matters to
the outcome of the thing that you're
trying to do you're trying to shave
three seconds off of your 400 meter dash
okay what are things that we could track
in the 400 meter dash
how many times we go to the track okay
might be meaningful in fact that
probably is that actually is something
you might want to track how many days uh
out of the uh week did you go to the
track but you're also going to want to
track how many times did you run the 400
meter dash you may want to track how
many times you ran an 800 meter dash
maybe the key to your progress is
running something slightly longer but
still as all out as you can or maybe
it's just nope how many times did I run
the 400 meter
um 400 meters in a day and that is the
uh the main metric that we're going to
be tracking so you're going to find out
over time what's the thing that's
actually leading you towards your goal
so we know goal is to shave off three
seconds off of running the 400 meter
dash we're going to figure out what the
thing is that actually leads to that
outcome let's say that it's the number
of times that we run the 400 meter in a
single day instead of and you'll
probably need a second one because you
can't do that once and get there so
number of times that you run it in a
single day and how many days a week you
run that so if we know that there is a
threshold of if I run the 400 meter dash
10 times a day and I do it at least four
days a week boom that's the optimum time
you'll only figure that out by getting
in there and doing it now everything is
going to be different but you're looking
for the thing that is most Salient that
actually gives you the biggest outcome
so obviously I've already made base
assumptions in running that you'll be
able to apply to anything so if I'm
trying to shave my time off I know I'm
gonna have to run right that's
self-evident I know I'm going to at
least have to run the thing that I want
to do or at least that's my early
hypothesis I suppose it actually is
possible that um like with Marathon
running I think they a lot of people say
that you don't have to run a full
Marathon
it's like the number of hours you spend
in a certain heart band heart rate band
like you want to get that there or uh I
know they look at heart rate variability
so those might be things you're really
looking at when it comes to uh long
endurance running so the goal is we know
that if we're trying to shave time off
we're going to be doing that thing we're
going to be doing something that pushes
us out of that zone and by the way a lot
of this stuff the first thing to do when
you set a goal is go research and figure
out what have other people before you
come up with as the most Salient thing
to track but that's the goal you're
going to figure out the most Salient
thing to track and then you're going to
make sure that you're doing it and
you're going to make sure that you're
actually making the progress that you
want it is very rare that the progress
towards your goal is going to be binary
meaning you do it for six months and
then you test it once and it either did
or did not work that's not how progress
towards a goal works it's going to be
you're doing that thing and then the
thing you've identified is the most
important thing for you to be tracking
and then you're gonna actually test it
so you're going to go run the 400 meter
dash let's say once a week all out at
the pace are you a half second off are
you shaving any time off have you made
any progress yet and so you're going to
figure out what that minimal interval is
at which you're going to want to retest
yourself like with losing weights
probably not a good idea to test
yourself every day first you can become
obsessive with just the weight and
really your goal there is going to be to
lose fat
and then second there might be days
where you go up but you're actually
doing the right thing so you have to be
thoughtful about also finding that
duration that you want to test at so
you're going to find the key metric
you're going to find the interval at
which you're going to test that key
metric and then you're going to make
sure that you're actually making
progress if you're not making progress
the easiest thing to do is to bring in a
coach somebody that's going to bring a
lot of years of experience and be able
to help you figure out if you're
checking the wrong metric doing the
wrong thing or what it is that you need
to adjust but as they say you only
improve what you can measure so you want
to make sure that you find the right
thing but don't just track what's easy
track what's effective
here's a clip from a past episode where
I've talked about this before check it
out once you understand the whole reason
to acquire a skill
is that it gives you power
now I'm going to Define power
to me
is the ability to close your eyes
and imagine a world the world the way
you wish it was
and then open your eyes and make that
world come true
that's power
and the thing that stands between you
where you are today and your goals where
you want to get is a gap in skill set it
is a gap in abilities
and once you're willing to look nakedly
at your inadequacies to literally build
your self-esteem your entire sense of
self-worth and value is built around one
thing whenever you face an obstacle
whenever you face a difficulty whenever
you fail you have one thing that you say
to yourself
on a long enough timeline I can learn
this
when you switch your life around to that
whatever your goal is here whatever part
of the honors club or the Leading Edge
you're at or if you want to go beyond
that
whatever that is
wherever you want to go plant that flag
identify the skills that you would need
to get there and then set about every
day getting those skills here's the
problem I find most people have they
judge themselves to the lens of a moment
they fail at something
they miss the honor Club
they don't close that deal they thought
they were going to they embarrass
themselves they flub something
and they think that defines who they are
but I'm telling you right now you're not
defined by who you are you're defined by
who you want to become and the price
you're willing to pay to get there
and if you're prepared to become the
best
you can become Unstoppable you can build
something other people think is
impossible you can build something out
from under a mountain of doubt
there's a price to pay for change
and I've had a lot of you come up to me
and ask questions
and there's a look in people's eye and I
will tell you one of the questions that
hides behind what people are actually
saying is
Tom am I going to make it
do I have what it takes
when you look into my future can you see
me making it
and I'm going to cut to the chase for
all of you and you're going to mistake
what I'm about to say for good news
and then I'm going to tell you why it's
actually
the worst thing I could tell you
you all meet minimum requirements
so whatever it is you want to do I'm not
going to say that it's going to be easy
for you because you're Ultra smart or
something you probably aren't
but everyone that I've encountered here
literally without exception every single
person that has come up to me and said
something you meet minimum requirements
even you awkward [ __ ] that have
a hard time like making eye contact even
you guys I'm telling you right now
you've got some [ __ ] you're gonna have
to deal with
but you meet minimum requirements now
minimum requirements for what
for whatever you want
now that sounds great right
oh [ __ ]
Tom said I can make it
this is amazing
but all I've actually said
is now if you don't make it
it's on you
and that's it
there's nobody else to blame
everything
is your fault
everything
the good stuff in your life that's on
you you did that you either put yourself
in a position to deserve it to be around
people that want to help to take care of
you luck came by you were able to
capitalize on it because like we talked
about earlier looks like a bus another
one's coming
but will you have the fair to get on and
maybe that's it maybe you just got
really lucky
but you had the fair to get on the bus
and that's on you so you should be very
proud of the things that you have in
your life
but all the things in your life that
aren't your satisfaction
those are all your fault
now I'm going to tell you a story
and this story pisses people off
and it goes like this
my wife who happens to be British
dig it up for England
let's say that she is with her mom
and she's in the bedroom that she grew
up in
she's all safe and sound the door is
locked the alarm is on her mom's in the
Next Room making sure that she's safe
but right then
a meteorite comes screaming through the
atmosphere crashes into her bedroom and
kills her whose fault is that
I know some [ __ ] have listened
to my content
I will tell you that right now
now if people don't know me everybody
goes to is dumb luck
Divine Providence it's nobody's fault
how could you blame yourself
well let me tell you how I can blame
myself and when you hear the reality of
this and you realize that I am in no way
shape or form being hyperbolic it
actually is my fault
here's why I know right now there is an
organization that track what are called
near-earth objects in fact I'm on the
board of the X prize
one of the prizes that they're trying to
raise money for is for this problem to
track all these known objects and to
find some way lasers planted nuclear
explosions something
to make sure
that if something is ever on a collision
course for Earth that we can stop it
literally four weekends ago
I had a chance to vote for this to say
this should be a prize
and I didn't
so now not only have I never sent a dime
of my money to help I've never sent an
email with encouraging words I've never
called them up to tell them what I think
they should do now I literally voted
against them
so if a meteorite happens to kill my
wife
I don't have anyone to blame but myself
that's so apparently true
now I think it's the right decision I
think that putting the time and energy
into something that has such a
vanishingly slim possibility of actually
happening makes no sense you have to
know where to put your energies all of
us have a finite amount of energy so you
at some point have to triage and decide
what are the things that I'm going to
attack I'm far more worried about my
wife getting into a car
the likelihood of her dying is almost
certainly going to be
at this point
something to do with heart disease or
something to do with an aneurysm things
like that
it most certainly isn't going to be a
meteorite crashing through the roof and
killing her but if it did
I wouldn't waste time blaming anyone
else
now the key here
the key
I wouldn't beat myself up over it
I would be crestfallen my wife is my
everything it would be a loss so
devastating I don't even want to
comprehend it
but I just wouldn't waste time blaming
anyone else because the reality is
and let this come home
your life
is the exact reflection of the choices
you have made
love your life great you've made awesome
choices
hate your life
I'm sorry
you've made bad choices
humans lead with belief that may be the
single most important thing to
understand humans lead with belief
meaning you don't do something and then
believe you can do it you won't even
take the first step if you don't believe
that your actions will be rewarded with
results that's why so many people are
paralyzed because
they think that they're not worthy they
think they're art they know they're
uneducated they know that they're not
the person that they need to be in order
to accomplish
and the reality is you're probably not
the fact is your skill set has already
taken you as far as it's going to take
you so if you are unsatisfied with where
you are today I have some horrifying
news for you I'll Chase it with some
good news but first let's start with the
bad
the bad news is
your life is an exact reflection of the
choices you've made that's it it's not
circumstance it comes down to skill set
and choices you've chosen to build a
certain skill set you've chosen to do
certain things take certain risks play
certain things safely whatever the case
may be those were all choices now your
life is a reflection of that what I want
you to understand though the belief the
only belief that you need to have
that thing that is going to allow you to
take that first step
is not to believe that you're capable
of what you're trying to build because
we all know you're not
I knew that I wasn't when we started
Quest I knew I wasn't the person that I
needed to be I understood that it just
didn't paralyze me because I believed
one thing
and if you take nothing else from what I
say today burn the following statement
into your soul
humans are the ultimate adaptation
machine
that's it
Charles Darwin is often misquoted as
saying
that it's the strongest of the species
that survive
he'd never said that what he actually
said was it's not the strongest of the
species that survived nor the most
intelligent but rather the most adaptive
to change
we're the apex predator for a reason
because unlike any other animal we have
the ability to go in any direction any
direction we want we're the only species
that you can find anywhere at one point
James Cameron was actually at the bottom
of the Marianas Trench
I believe the very meaning of life
is to find out how many skills you can
acquire that have utility and then put
that utility to the test in service of
someone else
it's what the ancient Greeks call Techni
I've worked my ass off for this set of
skills they are unique to me and they
help other people and in being able to
help other people with something that I
worked very hard for I feel good about
myself
and I will make you guys one promise
right here today the game you're playing
please listen to this so that you don't
end up wasting years of your life like I
did mine
the game that you're playing is not
success
the game that you're playing is not
money
the game that you're playing is brain
chemistry
it's about fulfillment
the only thing ultimately that's ever
going to matter in your life
is how you feel about yourself
when you're by yourself
the things you say to yourself quietly
in your mind when no one else is around
that's what matters
and becoming somebody that you're proud
of
in whatever way you define that is
completely open to you humans are the
ultimate adaptation machine we can grow
in any direction it is what we are
designed to do
what scientists used to call
junk DNA
and they were so confused because humans
only have 20 000 genes some onions have
40 000 genes and they thought this can't
be onions just aren't more biologically
complicated than humans so what's going
on and then they realize all that junk
DNA that they were dismissing
that's epigenetic information meaning
this one animal this human animal is
designed to respond
we don't come pre-programmed
we come ready to adapt we come ready to
change
we come ready to grow
and once you know that that is the
nature of being a human that that is the
beautiful gift of this life is to see
how much you can grow in whatever
Direction you want towards whatever end
you want but the gift that you have been
given is the ability to change
so if you don't like who you are today
that's okay
it doesn't matter who you are today
it only matters who you want to become
and the price you're willing to pay to
get there
and once you understand that you can
always make a different choice and get a
different reaction and that's the power
in your life that's the power that you
have is no matter what's going on you
can choose to think differently believe
differently see differently
all of those things are a choice read
Man's Search for meaning by Victor
Frankel lost this whole family to the
Holocaust was in I think five different
concentration camps
and he said the thing that people die of
in a concentration camp is the loss of a
why
and Nietzsche said if you have a why you
can survive almost any how
because you can always change how you
think about something
and when you change how you think about
it's what we've been talking about all
day when you change how you think about
it you actually change the event
[Music]
we have to construct a narrative about
it that moves us forward
and this is why I'm such a firm believer
that you should do and believe
that which moves you towards your goals
people get the do part they understand
their actions should be actions that
take them towards what they want to
accomplish but people often miss the
most important part which is only to
believe things that move you towards
your goals
and I see people every day
that tell themselves the story about
themselves that they are worthless
that they're meaningless
that they're pointless
that their friends and family would be
better off if they just died
so we have to find a way to construct a
narrative about ourselves
that empowers us that lifts us up even
though
even though we make mistakes even though
we fall down even though
we're never going to get things right
all the time and even though terrible
things happen to us
or maybe we do terrible things
but in that the erosion of the self
that's the danger the erosion of the
self that is the danger
and when I talk to people about the 80
20 principle 80 of the time you should
be focused on the things that you love
the beautiful things that you want to
bring to this world the beautiful things
that are already in the world
and 20 of the time you should be kicking
yourself in your ass and saying you can
do better
it's such a powerful idea
but the problem is when people get to
the 20 they forget that it's only
supposed to be 20 of the time and that
it's meant to be these acute moments
where you're pushing yourself to be more
to do more it isn't so you can tear
yourself down that's why you have to do
and believe that which moves you towards
your goals and if thinking that you're a
worthless piece of [ __ ] moves you to
your goals somehow then fine do it but I
can't literally fathom a universe in
which that would be a logical way to
move forward
so I'm going to give you the magic words
that you need right now to never fall
prey to that
believing I'm worthless does not serve
me and I don't do things that don't
serve me
repeat that in your head every time you
begin to disparage yourself
because here's the problem
you're going to believe it's true
you're going to believe that you really
are worthless that you've really done
something that makes you worthy of
punishment
that means you ought to suffer
and in that moment you're never going to
be able to convince yourself that that's
not true
so you need something else that's going
to get you off the hook and it has to be
that core belief system in your life a
belief system that you put in place when
you were emotionally sober and you said
to yourself I'm making a pledge I do and
believe that which moves me towards my
goals period not when it's convenient
always and that becomes a Guiding Light
in my life if The Guiding Light in your
life
is that you only do and believe that
which moves you towards your goals
when you get into that Loop of beating
yourself up and thinking that you're
worthless or that you're never going to
make it
remember that that belief does not serve
you
and you don't do things that don't serve
you
I've often said
the point of life
the meaning of all this chasing you're
doing is one simple thing
how do you feel about yourself
when you're by yourself
I know a lot of people that fear that
quiet
I know a lot of people that don't want
to be alone with themselves
and the reason they don't want to be
alone with themselves
is because they don't think they're
worthwhile
they're not happy with who they are
that's what adaptation is about
if you're not happy with who you are
then let's step into the ownership of
that let's remember that's our fault
there's no one else to blame for that
the people that did horrible things to
you are not to blame for that
because if they are there's nothing you
can do
but if you're the owner of that
in fact don't even worry about the word
blame you're in control that's what this
is about it's about retaining control
it's about knowing that you own your
life and at any time if you want a
different outcome you can make different
decisions you can do different things
you can start a new narrative
and once you begin that new narrative
you realize the power that's in that to
take you where you want to go
but it begins with identifying what is
your goal
once you have your goal then you can
work backwards to what you need to do in
order to accomplish that goal
and that is the chasm of adaptation
it's the acquisition of skill set
it's getting better at something it's
becoming capable of something that you
weren't capable of before
but that change
the fear of the unknown
is the thing that paralyzes people
we are designed to adapt
so wherever your business is now
whatever your skill set is now whatever
your vision of yourself is now you can
change it you can become anything you
want to be
but life is going to ask you one simple
question what price are you willing to
pay to get there
and that's it that's the hard truth if
you're willing to pay the price and you
can become whatever you want you can
become truly capable of the
extraordinary
but you've got to go through the process
of building that skill set you've got to
be willing to stare nakedly at your
inadequacies
to understand that you aren't yet the
person that you want to be or need to be
to execute against your goals but that
you can become that person and then
start walking down that path and day by
day Brick by Brick build the skill set
that you want the person that you are
has gotten you as far as is ever going
to get you so you've got to become a new
person you literally have to adapt
now the great news is like we talked in
my first talk that is what humans are
wired to do
humans are the ultimate adaptation
machine the reason that we are the only
species that you can find in every
corner of the globe at one point James
Cameron was literally at the bottom of
the Marianas Trench we have sent human
beings to the Moon
we are going to send human beings to
Mars
and the reason we're going to be able to
do that is we can adapt to our
surroundings
there was a woman who swam the bearing
straight
really think about this the Bering
Strait is the space between Russia and
Alaska so you can imagine it's not quite
a swim in the Bahamas
to make the swim
she had to change
her fat
from what's known as white adipose
tissue
to Brown fat
Brown fat is more thermogenic so it
actually kicks off heat
to do that for over a year she had to
expose herself routinely to cold
temperatures sleeping in the winters in
Alaska with the window open
but in doing that she actually put her
body through an adaptation response her
body got the message adapt or die so it
adapted and when you're willing to put
yourself under those kinds of stresses
to become that new thing you want to
become to be the new person that you
want to be to go farther than anyone you
know has ever gone to be the [ __ ]
goat it is possible
but it demands a price
it Demands a price
and what this weekend is about it's
about you deciding for yourself
where do you want to go
and what price are you willing to pay to
get there now if you guys have been
keeping up with brain science I am here
to tell you right now you can become
anyone you want now the process of
taking myself from scrounging my couch
cushions to find enough change to put
gas in my car
to building a billion dollar business
was all about building a set of beliefs
now I believe
that the Matrix has us all
I don't actually think we live in a
simulation but I think the movie The
Matrix is the perfect metaphor for The
Human Experience we have all pulled a
Web of Lies over our own eyes and the
Web of Lies is what you tell yourself
about what's possible for you and for
the world
and once you get that Web of Lies over
your eyes you simply see it as reality
and you don't understand that each one
of those fundamental beliefs is
alterable that you could choose to
believe something else in fact you don't
even realize that they are beliefs
Einstein has a quote it's one of the
most important quotes in my life
the most important question
any man must decide for himself
is whether or not he lives in a friendly
or hostile universe
now what I love about that quote is
what's hiding in it is that it's a
decision
you get to choose whether you're living
in a friendly or a hostile universe
there's no objective reality
it just is what it is you're going to
get what you see you're gonna get what
you focus on
and you see what you focus on
so the more you focus on the world works
against me I've got bad luck the more
you're going to see proof of that you're
going to seek it out you're going to act
in accordance with that belief if on the
other hand you believe the human
potential is nearly Limitless that the
human animal is by its very nature the
ultimate adaptation machine
think about this for a second humans are
the apex predator unlike anything else
the world has ever seen
we can live in any corner of the globe
from the Arctic
to the deserts at one point James
Cameron was literally at the bottom of
the Marianas Trench which is the deepest
part of the ocean
humans can not only get there they can
thrive
now nature had to make a decision with
every animal
do we create something
that comes pre-programmed think of a
horse when a horse is born it can
already run jump walk eat
a human on the other hand takes the
opposite approach where nothing is
pre-programmed but now you can go in any
direction
when humans are born we can't hold our
own head up this is something that
really freaks me out
humans are so incapable of taking care
of themselves you could literally lay an
infant next to a bottle and it would
still starve to death
we can hold our own head up we poo in
our diapers we are literally in need of
constant care for years of Our Lives now
this comes with a benefit which is that
we can adapt in any direction that we
want and the most beautiful part of this
is it never stops
even as you get older you can decide
that you want to go in a different
direction you can change the course of
where you're headed
and so in this role that I found myself
as budding entrepreneur I set out to
learn everything that I could
to understand what is my goal and then
to work my way backwards
one of the most profound things that
ever happened to me
and if you guys haven't read the book
anti-fragile by Naseem taleb do
in that book he lays out the difference
between something that is resilient
and something that is truly anti-fragile
I'm gonna say somebody that's
Unstoppable is truly anti-fragile and
what anti-fragile is
the more you attack it the stronger it
gets so something that is resilient or
tough it is still defined by its
Breaking Point the more you go after it
eventually it will break
something that's anti-fragile grows with
that
and I believe each and every one of us
can build a mindset that is truly
anti-fragile there is only one thing
that I have found that is actually
anti-fragile and it looks like this
I was there with my partners they
routinely made me feel stupid all the
time they were older than me they were
more than 10 years ahead of me on their
entrepreneurial Journey
and so I was just wrong all the time now
up to that point in my life I actually
called myself the king of remedial jobs
up until then I'd only gone for jobs
where I knew I'd be smarter than the
person interviewing me I knew that at
some point during the interview they
were going to ask that magical question
which made me feel so good about myself
which was why are you here
why are you interviewing for this job
and I lived for that because it made me
feel smart
so here I am now not in that world
anymore I'm with guys who are way ahead
of me they're way smarter than me
and I feel dumb all the time and one day
I find myself arguing for this path in
our business because it was my idea
and I knew it was wrong that was a
hilarious thing I knew it was wrong and
yet I was arguing for it like really
passionately and then all of a sudden it
actually worked
and they agreed to do it and I thought
oh [ __ ] now what
I've been telling my wife that I'm going
to make her rich and here I am arguing
for something that just makes me feel
good about myself
and I had this moment of crisis
and I asked myself
no judgment
what do you really want
because if what you really want is to
feel good about yourself to feel smart
to be right to be worthy if those are
the things that you want then get out of
this company because you're wrong often
you're making mistakes all the time and
your partners are so far ahead of you
that they make you feel stupid
so this is like that doesn't make any
sense so if you want to just go feel
good go back to being the king of
remedial jobs be in places where you're
always feeling smart where you're
usually right and live that life
but if on the other hand what you really
want is to actually reach your goals
then you're gonna have to stop worrying
about feeling good about yourself
and both of those felt flawed
everybody needs to feel good about
themselves
that that's just the reality of being a
human you've got to find a way to feel
good about yourself
but I really believe
everything you do in life should be in
service of your goals
and now in this moment
where I'm hoping the people that are
left here right now
are the Die Hard [ __ ] that are
going to make change no matter what
I want some people to step forward
and I want you to tell me what you're
afraid of
I want to know why you don't think
you're going to make it
we have a brave soul let's hear it
yeah give it up for that
[Applause]
I'm afraid of getting to the end of my
life
and realizing that I did not
become the best version of myself
knowing that I got to the very end of my
life
and I did not accomplish every single
thing I know I believe in my heart that
I deserve to have
I know the only thing that's stopping me
is myself
I love that I think that's the right
fear and I think all of us should have
some form of that fear which if you
didn't hear is to have a vision of the
person you could become
and to reach the Pearly Gates as it were
see who you could have been contrasted
with who you actually are and be
disappointed by the gap between them
and I love chasing that I think it's a
beautiful Chase
but what I hope you guys will do if you
ever find yourself at the Pearly Gates
disappointed in how much farther you
could have gone
to Simply ask one question of yourself
every day
did I give it my all today
doesn't mean you're always going to win
yeah
if your life is a series of
[ __ ] yes I did
You've Won
You've Won guys the struggle is
guaranteed the struggle is guaranteed
the struggle is guaranteed the success
is not
and like the thing that I beg you guys
is to have the guts to fail at something
that you love
and when you were on the mud on your
face and people are laughing the I told
you soaps are coming out that you
remember one simple fact
you loved what you were doing
and you left it out on the field what
the [ __ ] else is there
legitimately like I'm getting emotional
what the [ __ ] else is there what more
can you ask of yourself than to really
[ __ ] try to really say I give a [ __ ]
about this
that's the life to live that's the life
like to say I care about this it matters
it gives me purpose I'm gonna fight for
this this is a group of people I want to
serve
and I'm going to go all the way out
every day and look you're not going to
hit it every day there's going to be
days where you're off there's going to
be days where you're weak
week
but if that day instead of bullshitting
yourself instead of saying I wasn't weak
today what are you talking about if that
day you [ __ ] own it and you say yeah
I was weak today and I'm not going to be
weak tomorrow but I'm not afraid to face
that I'm not afraid to accept that I'm
not perfect I'm not afraid to look in
the mirror and say today was a bad day
that I didn't make myself proud today
but that shouldn't diminish who you are
it shouldn't diminish your view of
yourself why because I wouldn't serve
you
because if you beat yourself up today
you make it harder for you to be rad
tomorrow
it's a game that has to be seen in total
it's not a game where you can take a
[ __ ] snapshot and this is like what I
want you guys to understand in any one
moment I look like a fool so many
[ __ ] times I can't count
but when I look at my life in 10-year
chunks I'm freaked out by what I've
accomplished
and so I want you above all to focus on
truth so that somebody they may walk out
of your clinic they may never come back
because you either solve their problem
or you weren't going to be able to solve
their problem you knew that and so you
sent them elsewhere
but that person becomes a referral if
you're taking notes write this down
never never go for the sale
always go for the referral
never go for the sale always go for the
referral when that person believes in
you they trust you you had a moment to
monetize them to get the quick dollar
and you didn't
that person now wants to give you money
it's literally incredible and I can't
like I'll I'll give you guys an example
so
I create content now I create a lot of
content I put about
five to seven hours depending on the
week of content out every week
and I don't monetize it I don't charge
anything for it and I know people are
waiting for the other shoe to drop and
at the end of this you're waiting for me
to hit you up with something anything to
buy from me there's nothing
I want to add value now my full
disclosure is one day I may have an ask
because I create
my new thing is creating movies and so
maybe one day I just want you to tell
people that the movie exists I don't
even need you to go see it but if I've
ever added value to your life just tell
somebody it exists so that I can find my
audience
I'm not joking I have had people show up
at the gate to my house saying I just
want to work for you for free
because I dig what you're doing
three or four people have come up to me
in the back already just since I was
here and saying thank you for what you
do
that's it thank you for what you do
imagine that but that's the world we
live in that's the opportunity that you
have is to just play the long game and I
don't believe in patience in fact I have
a shirt that says F patients I am not a
patient man I am the least patient
person you are ever going to meet I am
actively anti-patients because you will
accomplish nothing in your life if
you're patient nothing and anybody that
tells you to be patient I want you to be
immediately skeptical
but what I always do is I play the long
game
I play the game of reputation
that's what you guys have to do you're
in a battle for your reputation and I
would say the thing you guys need to do
is turn inward and not tolerate it if
you want to hear more about how to
become a significantly better version of
yourself be sure to check out this
episode on how to find success fast
failure
is the single most
information Rich data stream that exists