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what I want to do is walk you through
the ultra concrete steps that I went
through the changes that I had to make
to truly become Unstoppable so that's
what this is all about now I want to
Define Unstoppable it's a cool headline
that led you this far but the notion for
it to really be usable we're going to
have to pull it out of the ether and
bring it right back down to life now
here's the truth life is [ __ ] hard
that is just a truth but you have a
choice all of us have a choice whether
we're going to be weak or we're going to
be strong and one of the things that I
had to learn in my life is that choice
is mine it is nobody else's and that if
I was going to make a choice to be
strong that I was going to have to take
complete ownership of my life I was
going to have to hold myself to a
standard and this may be the most
important I couldn't tolerate weakness
in my life and look I'm not saying that
hardships don't befall people I'm not
even saying that some of you watching
this the deck is stacked against you so
viciously it is clearly not fair
but I will ask this question and now
what
if life is inordinately stacked against
you for whatever reason bad genetics bad
parenting grow up in the wrong
neighborhood whatever the case may be
for whatever reason the deck is stacked
against you and now what what are you
going to do about it the only thing you
can really do is get [ __ ] strong
toughen up carry whatever burden you
have and show people that you can do
anything you set your mind to but to do
that you've got to take responsibility
for becoming great and greatness is not
some [ __ ] behind the sky thing it's
a set of [ __ ] skills that lets you
climb up the competency hierarchy to
actually get better to outperform people
and to do what the ancient Greeks called
Techni to build a set of skills that
means something to you for whatever
reason that you've worked your ass off
to acquire that allow you to serve not
only yourself but to serve other people
all right in life there are two ways to
lose way number one is to be weak to lat
grit to be emotionally unstable to be
stubborn that's where a lot of people
fall on their face they have these
[ __ ] ideas in their head and they're
constantly looking for things to affirm
that instead of doing what they need to
do which is constantly looking for ways
that you're wrong and once you start
seeking out ways that you're wrong
because you're like I've gotten this far
in life being wrong what happens if I
stop being stubborn I start looking for
ways that I can learn more that I can
get rid of old ideas that aren't working
for me and really move forward and the
thing that I think is probably the most
foundational they have a fixed mindset
now what is a fixed mindset it means
that you believe your talent and
intelligence are inborn traits you're
born with it and that's it and life is
about making the best of that and we're
going to debunk the [ __ ] out of that the
second way that things can go wrong is
they're chasing the wrong thing I'm
telling you right now the punch line to
life is not success it's not fame it's
not money it's not accolades it is very
simple it's brain chemistry AKA
fulfillment the only thing that really
matters at the end of the day is how you
feel about yourself when you are by
yourself and this class is really going
to be about building in those things
that make you feel confident and secure
in who you are impervious to the slings
and arrows that come from other people
and that really is something that you
can do but it's going to take a lot of
earning credibility with yourself
putting in the work to really become
extraordinary but we're going to walk
through the step-by-steps of how you do
that now what's the cost of weakness
as somebody who spent year Decades of my
life much to my dismay
um accepting weakness in my life being
very okay with performing below my
standard constantly asking myself what
does what is the least I need to do to
avoid getting in trouble
and the cost of that is a loss of
self-respect or just never building
self-respect in the first place
certainly you're not going to make any
progress in life you end up leading in
this downward spiral because weak people
are bitter people because they feel like
they're being taken advantage of they're
not taking ownership in their life
they're putting the blame on other
people and because of that they start to
get pissed they have some really [ __ ]
dark fantasies and I'm going to imagine
that many of you are like me and in my
weekdays man I used to think about just
bad [ __ ] happening to other people the
people that I imagined were the people
that were holding me down when in truth
what was happening is I wasn't standing
up for myself and what I was really
pissed about was that or maybe not even
that I really was pissed at the other
people but what was stopping me from
making progress what was focusing me on
Vengeance and wanting to see other
people go down in flames was that I
didn't believe that I could rise up and
because I didn't believe I could rise up
the only thing I could think about was
tearing other people down
we're going to break you out of that all
right what's the cost of strength
Eternal vigilance you always have to be
on the lookout it's so easy to slide
back into a fixed mindset it's so easy
to get angry or bitter or to look at
somebody else and how much easier we
perceive them as having it especially in
[ __ ] in Instagram or Facebook where
you're seeing people putting their
highlight reel and you think [ __ ] them
like I want some of that in my life it's
not fair and once you find yourself
there you have to catch yourself every
[ __ ] time you've got to get out of
that pattern you've got to break those
Notions of one comparing yourself to
other people which comparison is the
thief of joy and you've got to realize
you've got to take ownership if you want
the same results somebody else is
getting you've got to build the same
skill set and that brings us to Clarity
what do you want if you want to be
strong you're going to have to know
exactly where you're trying to get to
and you've got to accumulate the skills
necessary to take you there
and to do that it's all going to take a
lot of hard [ __ ] work all right I
told you a little bit about my backstory
but I'll go into a tiny bit more detail
uh when I went to film School College
um I did really well in the beginning
and I really thought that I was
naturally talented and I was so stoked
and I thought I was one of only four
people selected to do a senior thesis in
a school where you're more likely to get
into Harvard Law than you are to get
into the school so I thought it was hot
[ __ ] I got into the school everyone told
me I'd never get in I got in and then on
top of that everyone's like well you got
in but you're never going to direct your
senior thesis and I got selected to do
that as well so I thought I was going to
kill it on the senior thesis I was going
to graduate get my three picture deal in
Hollywood and my life was going to be
set and then I completely [ __ ] up my
senior thesis film and realized one cold
hard fact
I wasn't talented now if I'd had a
growth mindset and realized I just
wasn't talented yet and I could build
those skills then everything would have
been would have been fine but the
reality was I didn't realize that I get
into this downward spiral I start
sliding towards depression I end up
getting fired from a stupid job I called
myself the king of remedial jobs at that
time I was having trouble paying my
bills at once I was on unemployment for
a while I couldn't pay my student loans
I mean it was it was gnarly and I didn't
know how to get out of that and I ended
up
being able to completely turn my life
around but I wasn't able to do that
until I took full and complete ownership
and realized one of the most important
things when you think about change which
is that the human animal is the ultimate
adaptation machine we are literally
designed to change we are designed from
the ground up to adapt to stressors
directed stressors we have to decide in
what way we want to change but we can
change in any way that we want and I
ended up after going through that whole
process being somebody who was not only
capable of lifting themselves up but I
ended up running a production line in a
manufacturing company that I helped
found that went from nothing to being
number two on the Inc 500 list and on
the production line there were both
Crips and bloods and able to help keep
the peace keep that going and running
smoothly because I had taken myself from
that broken scared insecure kid who
didn't think that he could get better to
realizing that I could own myself that I
could be confident that I could develop
the skill set both leadership skills
soft skills hard skills and then I could
go in there and I could command that
kind of respect in fact a better way to
say it I earned their Respect by working
harder than anybody else by having a
deeper set of skills and by empowering
them and lifting them up all with the
things that I'm going to be walking you
through in this class
now the way that you're in respect with
yourself and others is through [ __ ]
performance so I'm now going to walk you
through the concrete steps that you're
going to get to that level of
performance step number one you have to
own your life if you haven't heard of
the notion of extreme ownership I highly
encourage you to read the book by the
same name by Jocko willink and Leif
Babin and the punchline of all of it is
if you're blaming other people for the
state of your life you are [ __ ] my
friend because you're pointing at the
wrong person you're looking in the wrong
place why not because you won't be
victimized you will be victimized in
your life unfair [ __ ] is going to happen
to you bad breaks are going to come your
way things that shouldn't be that
difficult are that difficult there may
be systematic Injustice against you
but if you don't believe to the core of
your being in cause and effect you're
never going to be able to set yourself
free the whole idea behind extreme
ownership is not to victim blame or to
say anything harsh or negative about you
it is simply to remind you
that when you take ownership when you're
not looking to deflect blame you go into
a proactive
solution-oriented mindset and you start
asking what could I have done
differently to get a different result
that's it what could I do differently
that will give me a different result
once you put yourself in that frame all
the time always and forever over and
over and over not only do you earn
people's respect because you're never
looking to blame somebody else you're
always asking yourself what did I do to
end up here how did I put myself in the
situation even if the response from the
outside world is unjust unfair all of
that but you're looking at it and you're
not asking oh I want this to change I
want it to be different woe is me I'm a
[ __ ] victim which is passive which is
giving up your power you retain your
power you say I believe in cause and
effect I can do something different and
I can get a different effect
when you own that then you are able to
make progress and the other thing that
you remember is the human adaptation
response is the way I like to think of
it is it's a response to adapt or die
you're putting your body and your mind
under directed stress meaning it's
disciplined practice you're really
looking at what what do my goals demand
where am I trying to get to we're going
to talk more about Clarity in a minute
but where do I want to get to what's the
skill set Gap that I have to cross and
then how do I actually be how do I
actually practice those things how do I
put myself in that very specific stress
environment where I'm getting to the
edge of my abilities I'm going a little
bit beyond and then I get a little bit
stronger I'm able to do a little bit
more I push myself into those areas and
it's not about just doing what you're
good at this is the thing that drives me
crazy when people give that advice
it is not just about doing what you're
good at it's about figuring out what do
I need to get good at in order to
achieve my goal and then going into the
areas via practice where you are weak
breaking those down and saying I'm going
to need to get good at this thing which
I might not be naturally good at but I'm
going to have to practice and get good
at that thing
and once you understand the way the
mechanisms of brain plasticity and the
way that your brain is trying to rewire
itself to optimize for the thing that
you repeat so when you go in and you
start practicing and you're pushing
outside of your comfort zone you're
doing it over and over and over your
brain reorganizes itself and you can
quite literally change the form and
function of your brain in order to
accommodate the new skill that you're
trying to acquire it's what I call the
only belief that matters the fact that
as you put your your time and energy
into doing something into getting good
at it that you will be rewarded your
energies and efforts will be rewarded
with a new set of skills that have
utility you can deploy that utility to
be able to do different [ __ ] so the
easiest way to think about it is to use
the body as an analogy I think everybody
agrees if you go into a gym and you lift
weights and you lift them to failure and
you're pushing yourself to lift things
that are a little bit heavy they're a
little bit outside your range you can't
do it three times maybe you can only do
it once or twice you go the next time oh
you could only do it once before but now
you can do it twice and then you can do
it three times and then you can do a
heavier weight for once and then that
one's at three times and then also the
one that you could only do once a while
ago you're now doing for 15 reps and you
get bigger and you get stronger people
get it when it comes to the body but a
very similar process is happening in the
mind when you go to learn new skills and
if you believe in that which you don't
have to take my word for it you can go
look up brain plasticity it's [ __ ]
real this is not debated anymore this
was highly debated back in the 90s
nobody's debating this [ __ ] anymore
brain plasticity is real you can learn
new things you do create new brain cells
at any age literally until the day you
die
so once you understand once you take
ownership once you start looking at
skill acquisition once you're doing uh
you're forcing yourself into that
adaptation response you're putting
directed stress on your abilities then
you're going to be able to expand your
abilities hey everybody Tom here quick
question are you enjoying today's
episode certainly helps out if you are
here's the deal today's class is a
preview of a workshop that I gave from
Impact Theory university called how to
own your life over the last few months
and years I have to imagine all of us
have been given a lot of valid reasons
to stop chasing our goals and dreams and
give up ownership of our future it's a
pretty weird time but like I said at the
start of this Workshop life is brutally
tough and you're going to be tested over
and over again the lessons and tactics
you're learning right now are going to
be needed now more than ever in this
free preview here I'm giving you the
first five strategies to truly take
ownership of your life and if you want
to get free access to the second half of
this Workshop you can register to watch
part two at ownyourlife
dot impact theory.com or just click the
link in the description when you do I'll
also send you the worksheet that
accompanies this class which includes
action items and summaries of everything
we're covering here again your link is
ownyourlife.impacttheory.com go register
now then come back here and finish this
episode all right let's get back to it
all right step number two learn to
create new values this is where people
fall down this is the thing that I don't
think anybody is talking about which is
that your value system is malleable now
the easiest way to explain this is to
talk about how South Korean Airlines
used to be the used to have the worst
safety record in all the Airlines and
there was this really cool documentary
that was done called something like Fox
Tango Charlie or something it's three
call signs anyway I need to remember
this so I can [ __ ] just tell people
what it is but be very easy for you to
find and in that documentary they
reenact like a play the Black Box
recording of some of the most famous
Airline disasters in history and one of
them is from South Korean Airlines and
the way that the co-pilot who could tell
that they were about to crash into a
Mountainside was he was so afraid to
break cultural protocol didn't want to
push too hard didn't want to be
disrespectful and so literally let them
crash into a Mountainside be because he
didn't want to offend the pilot who kept
saying no everything is fine and when I
was watching that I was like are you out
of your [ __ ] mind I'd be freaking out
I would grab the sticks if I had to and
I thought but I'm not foolish enough to
think that if I were raised in that
environment that I wouldn't have that
same value structure where hierarchy
means everything respecting your elders
means everything and so the only way
that they were able to break down that
value system was in the cockpit and this
completely reversed their safety record
in the cockpit they were only allowed to
speak English they had to refer to each
other by their first names and there was
a written protocol for how you can
interrupt them and tell a pilot that
they're wrong and that they're making a
mistake and I thought that's so
interesting they're doing everything
they can with the different language
with the first names to get them out of
that traditional value system shake them
out and let them know there's a
different value structure when you're
inside a plane
now it's really that's always really
interesting to me because we have here
at impact Theory a South Korean person
who grew up here in America and for them
that value system seems just as weird
because they were raised here in America
I thought that's so interesting from a
DNA perspective obviously matches very
well in uh with the South Korean values
that we would typically think were oh no
it's just innate it's just it's it is a
truth and that is often what people
mistake their very changeable values for
is they mistake it for truth that of
course you afford your elders that level
of respect of course you would never
dare to challenge somebody who's your
Superior and it seems self-evidently
true to somebody who grew up in that now
the reason that I belabor that point is
I want you to understand growing up
where you grew up with the parents that
you had in the culture that you had all
of that stuff has shaped your value
system and you don't even realize you've
been making choices all along the way
that have developed a value system for
you and what I want you to start are
doing now is challenging those values
and asking what do I want to value now
the reason that this makes sense is
because once you invest in a value and
you say okay this thing I'm going to
choose to Value this like I value speed
I value efficiency now because I have
chosen to Value it because I've invested
so heavily into that into
and I do it by the way because it's good
for business so I want to have this
neurochemical reaction which is the big
reason for developing your values you
want to have a neurochemical reaction so
that you get a positive reward when you
move fast when you create momentum so
that when I'm doing something that
aligns with what a business needs a
business needs momentum okay so if a
business needs momentum I need to prize
momentum which means I need to make it a
value so what do you do write your
values down Journal about your values
and why they're important that is a
really critical part of all this so that
you're reinforcing it in your own mind
and then when you're aligned with it
then you want to reward yourself and
you're going to have to get good at that
of congratulating yourself telling
people that you love like I always tell
my wife if I did something that I'm
super excited about and that's really
important to me I'll let her know so
that I'm not only writing it down I'm
getting that external reinforcement and
then that over time hardwires that
neurochemical reward into you so
repetition is going to be a big part of
this but decide what your values are
going to be realize that they're
malleable and then build which is Step
number three the ultimate value stack
for becoming Unstoppable
number one in the value stack that you
should build is self-reliance you need
to know that nobody's coming to save you
that you shouldn't want anyone to save
you that you should want to be in
control of your own life you should look
at what you're trying to accomplish
recognize what the skill set is that you
need to get and then realize that no
one's going to push you to do it you
have to do it don't wait for somebody to
remind you or hold you to a standard
hold yourself to that standard the next
is self-respect you need to have
integrity if you say something do that
thing you want to know that you can
trust yourself when you know you can
trust yourself and you're doing things
that are worthy that you value then you
begin to develop that self-respect
you're not going to get anywhere until
you're able to build that self-respect
and it really does start nice and small
nice and simple if you say you're going
to do something do it so pick things in
your real life whether it's going to the
gym whether it's cutting out sugar
whether it's taking a cold shower you
want to have bright lines in your life
that you use that you make sure you're
building into your self-respect I said I
was going to do it and I do it no matter
how [ __ ] hard it is if you do that if
you start sticking to what you say
like you're going to commit to yourself
in this course and if you actually stick
through win or lose succeed or fail
you're going to build your self-esteem
all right the next thing that you want
to have as a value is growth you want to
make sure that every day you're checking
yourself am I actually getting better am
I pushing myself outside my comfort zone
and improving and if you're not
improving then that needs to be one of
those things that oh man it sucks you're
like [ __ ] I'm just stagnant I'm not
really getting anything done that needs
to bother you a big part of this is that
it's going to bother you on a body level
no matter what because the human animal
is wired to be chemically rewarded for
growth progress is a foundational part
of getting better it's a foundational
part of fulfillment and if you want to
have that level of fulfillment in your
life then you've got to be focused on
growth the next is resilience AKA
toughen the [ __ ] up
I know a lot of people don't like to
hear it like that but I want to get your
attention you need to toughen up you
cannot tolerate weakness in yourself
that's just the [ __ ] truth and you've
got to when you know that you're acting
weak you've got to call yourself out
you've got to say I don't allow that in
my life and valuing resilience
is going to be one of those things that
one it's it is a skill set that you can
absolutely develop and when you value
that then you're going to get stronger
and stronger and be able to carry more
and more weight as you go and if you
want to talk about earning people's
respect let me tell you when you're the
one that in the middle of chaos is calm
is steady can provide leadership all of
a sudden you're going to see how that
begins to advance you in any aspect of
your life from self-esteem to moving up
in a company so that is the ultimate
value stack step four you're gonna have
to get mentally tough so going back to
resilience now I want to detail out
exactly how you build that you're going
to develop grit if you haven't read
Angela Duckworth's book grit read it she
defines grit as passion and perseverance
over time so often people say that they
want to do something but then ah they
got into it they did it for a couple
months and then they lose interest and
they stop doing that if you do it once
or twice fair enough you're finding that
thing that really resonates with you but
if you find you're doing it over and
over and over chances are you don't have
the writ to persevere when things get
hard or when they get boring and that's
the boredom is something a lot of people
don't see coming so you want to make
sure that you're able to develop your
passion and persistence over time
the next thing you want to do is move
towards fear I find that
fear is a very useful thing it can keep
you safe but it can also keep you small
fear is an indicator that there are
Stakes now if you look at it and the
stakes are life or death don't do it
that doesn't make any sense but if you
look at it and the stakes are
embarrassment the stakes are you might
fail then that is almost certainly
something that you should move towards
that's one of the ways that you begin to
build that mental toughness is when you
expose yourself to fear what the
literature shows is you're not actually
getting less afraid what you're doing is
getting braver that is a big deal you
want to make sure that you're pushing
yourself and you're actually getting
braver as you go the next is emotional
stability get control of your emotions
so many people believe their emotions
because they have an emotion they
actually allow themselves to embody it
and act as if it is true the reality is
you need to learn to get control of your
emotions so that you can go from that
the in fact I'll explain it a better way
it is famously said that there is the
space between stimulus and response and
that little Gap is where you get to
elicit control someone may do something
to you that offends you but how you
respond is up to you you can't control
the incoming stimulus you may not even
be able to control that it offends you
but you can actually
absolutely control how you react to that
what is up my friend Tom bilyu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy to let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
all right I've just released a class
from Impact Theory university called how
to build Ironclad discipline that
teaches you the process of building
yourself up in this area so that you can
push yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
and so you want to make sure that you
understand something about the brain the
brain tries to justify the size of your
reaction so if your reaction is small
and you don't let it upset you you stay
centered then the brain goes oh I guess
that wasn't that big of a deal if on the
other hand you freak the [ __ ] out like
this is something in my real marriage
this this is hilarious my wife cannot
[ __ ] stand if somebody cuts in front
of her in line man that is such an
offense to her it violates her
principles and she wants to get super
pissed and worse she wants me to get
pissed but because I value the staying
calm Equanimity and I don't value raging
out of freaking out so I weigh is it
really a big deal if they cut if it is
and I'm like running late for a flight
or something then I'm gonna say yo
[ __ ] you got to get out because
there's something else that's going on
that makes that an important moment to
me but if it's a moment where it doesn't
really matter and I know that by having
a big reaction my mind is going to
reinforce that it's a big deal and it's
only going to bother me more the next
time then I keep my Equanimity I stay
chill and my brain goes oh I guess this
isn't that big of a deal
so you really want to make sure that you
practice that stuff one of the best ways
to practice that believe it or not is a
cold shower but we'll get more into that
later all right you want to increase
your ability to deal with stress so part
of this comes down to Identity so what
kind of person are you so I use the
phrase I'm the type of person that so
I'm the type of person that stays chill
in the face of stress now why do I do
that because to run a business where
things are constantly going wrong you
have to be able to stay chill even in
the face of stress so I need to value
that going back to what's the value
hierarchy what are the values necessary
to achieve my goals and then I know my
values are malleable so I'm going to
choose to Value being chill and the way
that I'm going to reinforce that and
really make it something that influences
my behavior is to remind myself of what
kind of person I am to Value being that
kind of person to tell other people that
I'm that kind of person and then want to
be congruent with that notion and the
feeling of congruence of saying I'm a
certain way acting that way and then
actively valuing it so when I act in
alignment with that with that I feel
good about that because I've done the
hard work of building that value into my
neurology so that I have this this
neurological neurochemical Cascade of
actual feel-good chemicals so that I
really feel this sense of psychological
um positivity as I act in accordance
with that identity so identity is huge
identity drives Behavior so you want to
really take control of that make sure
you're crafting an identity and telling
yourself a narrative that empowers you
and makes you feel good about yourself
all right the other thing you want to do
is reframe stress as a challenge just
reframing it in fact this this is true
of anything there's a an amazing
Shakespeare quote nothing is either good
or bad but thinking makes it so and once
you reframe stress instead of being
something that's dangerous something to
be avoided you reframe it as a challenge
something that you can learn from then
all of a sudden it becomes something
that you're willing to move towards and
obviously moving towards the things that
are stressful which signal that there
are Stakes right going back to that
notion of fear when you are moving
towards the things that actually matter
that actually have Stakes those are
probably the biggest areas for
opportunity so when you look at that as
something that is a challenge then you
can begin to make progress and like I
said a minute ago meditation is one of
the best ways to get into this like if
you want to get mentally tough
ironically enough you're going to want
to practice your meditation so that you
can practice rapidly de-escalating your
emotions rapidly de-excitating your
nervous system going from the
sympathetic nervous system which is
fight or flight to the parasympathetic
nervous system which is rest and digest
all right you guys are going to have to
get super comfortable being
uncomfortable whether that means that
you want to go run a marathon or ask
somebody for their phone number whatever
you're uncomfortable is you want to be
able to live in that space and be chill
about it and this is another area that
cold showers are amazing because cold
showers suck and they're going to send
you into fight or flight immediately
everything in your body is going to be
screaming for you to get the [ __ ] out of
that cold water it's actually going to
feel like it's life or death
but it's not and so you can stand in
there in the cold water
relax yourself
calm down
and realize okay nothing bad is
happening and when you push that and
extend the time you get better and
better with dealing with discomfort now
depending on what your goal is this may
be incredibly valuable if you have any
notion of developing leadership in your
life if you have any idea of wanting to
take on more responsibility because you
want to do more with your life or you
want to make more money
getting comfortable in those areas of
discomfort is going to be absolutely
critical even telling the truth can be
completely uncomfortable because you're
upsetting somebody else or it's a very
hard truth and so getting comfortable
there is is very critical all right for
me one of the things I struggled with
was standing up for myself I was always
worried about hurting other people's
feelings I was always worried of
potential confrontation
and so getting comfortable in that
friction sitting there until we actually
find a solution instead of wanting to
make everything okay as fast as possible
that was really really critical all
right
you need to get up every time you fail
this is one of those things that you can
practice look there's no way to
guarantee that you're not going to fail
but you can certainly practice getting
up every time you fail and the way to do
that is to develop a growth mindset so
we described or defined a fixed mindset
earlier a fixed mindset is when you
believe your talent and intelligence are
fixed traits a growth mindset is when
you believe your talent and intelligence
are malleable traits that you can
actually change them you can improve
them you can get better over time
smarter over time more competent over
time and to do that you just need to
reframe the failure as a learning
experience so that's one of the big ones
people that can really fail without
losing their enthusiasm in fact it's a
Churchill quote he says success is going
from failure to failure to failure
without a loss of enthusiasm so reframe
that failure as a learning experience
because failure is truly the most
information Rich data stream there is
alright step five you've got to push
yourself physically if you you want to
get tough you've got to test yourself
and there's no better or more reliable
way to test yourself than to push
yourself physically you've got to stop
asking how little you can get away with
and start asking one of the most
powerful questions in the universe which
is how much can you bear adaptation only
happens when you get way outside of your
comfort zone when you get to fatigue
when you get to absolutely not being
able to lift another rep that's when
your body shifts over into adapter die
mode and you begin to actually make
progress if you haven't read David
Goggins book can't hurt me he talks
about how to callous your mind through
physical activity how to do some really
hard [ __ ] and hold yourself accountable
so that you're actually asking yourself
I said I was going to do this did I do
it or not am I doing hard things
physically am I challenging myself and
because the mind and body live in this
reciprocal Loop if you're not optimizing
one you're never going to be able to
fully optimize the other so I wish I
wish personally that I could just treat
myself like a brain floating in a jar
somewhere that would be ideal for me but
I know that I cannot cognitively
optimize I know that I will never reach
my maximum mental toughness unless I'm
testing myself putting my body through
the paces making sure that physically
I'm in a good place and every day that
passes science is showing another way
that the mind and body are connected and
that if one is in ill health the other
is going to be an ill health so you've
got to make sure that as a way to really
toughen up as a total ecosystem that
you're getting your body and your mind
together and I love Goggins notion of
the accountability mirror of looking
yourself dead in the [ __ ] eye at the
end of every day or at the beginning of
the day and evaluating your past
performance and what you're going to do
in the future I think it is
extraordinarily helpful to be honest
with yourself be very direct not as a
way to beat yourself up and I know a lot
of people get stuck there
it's not what I'm talking about
I'm talking about being honest with
yourself about what you're doing about
how you've performed about whether or
not you're being weak in something
because if you're being weak the only
problem with that is ignoring it is
pretending like it's okay is not holding
yourself to a standard it's going to
happen from time to time but if you're
not honest with yourself about where you
are if you're not having that hard
direct talk then you're never going to
make progress all right I'm going to
give you a few things that I think
really play into testing your body
number one we've talked about cold
showers these are the [ __ ] like
that's the gold standard of daily things
to do to really push yourself it's not
fun you're not going to look forward to
it at least not if you're me but it is
one of those things that you get in at
first you do it for a very brief period
of time then you extend it farther and
farther and really begin to see just how
much you can handle physically and
mentally cold exposure also has some
pretty extraordinary effects
and another one is getting your diet
right I think that a lot of times people
are pretty LAX on their diet has a big
impact on you mentally I think you're
going to have a very hard time
um becoming Unstoppable if your body's
weak if you're
um you know wildly overweight if you're
out of shape like these are things that
really matter I think they matter
psychologically and I think they matter
physically so getting your diet on track
is super important it's beyond the scope
of this to talk about what a good diet
looks like I've talked about it we have
a whole show called Health Theory it's
all free you can go check it out and
then fasting I think fasting is an
awesome gut check mentally you're going
to find out real fast what you're
capable of in terms of the fortitude of
sticking with that so it's a great
physical test to put yourself through to
see where you're at all right I want to
issue a challenge to you guys one I want
you to take ownership of your life I
want you to say what you're going after
I want you to write it down I want you
to write down your values then I want
you to live by them and do the
accountability mirror and see if you're
actually doing it and I want you to
immediately begin interrupting the
victim mentality so when you have that
woe is me it's not my fault it was so
and so they did it to me I want you to
stop that immediately remind yourself
that you own your life remind yourself
of cause and effect remind yourself that
you are in control you could make a
different decision and you could get a
different outcome because you can't
control the world you can't control
other people you can only control
yourself and between that stimulus and
that response is your ability to make a
different choice
all right if you're reframing your
failures in your life seeing them as
lessons you've got a real opportunity to
progress if you create a compelling
future for yourself and write it down
know where you want to be know who you
want to be
know the skill set that stands between
you and that by really contemplating it
writing it down being very specific
that'll be incredibly powerful just make
sure it's something that actually
excites you complete the PDFs
so that you have something that's really
helping to organize your thoughts and
your behaviors and then engage with the
community if you do that stuff
everything that we just talked about in
this section of the course is going to
begin to solidify all right there's more
this course is four parts next up part
two if you thought today was valuable I
think you're really going to be blown
away with what we're going to be talking
about we're going to talk about becoming
anti-fragile tapping into your dark side
what Jung called The Shadow side I think
it's incredibly powerful one of the most
underutilized tactics we're gonna get
way up in that and then we're going to
talk about how to super be supercharged
by your own failures and a whole lot
more alright guys be sure to come back
because at the end of this you really
are if you put in the work going to be
unstoppable until part two my friends be
legendary take care first of all there
are many things that we're going to want
to do here much of it is going to be
reframing so I don't know maybe you
really didn't develop skills and maybe
you were floundering for seven years and
maybe you really did waste that time
probably not true but the most
terrifying way for you to approach this
question is as if that is true that you
really did quote unquote waste those
years because that's never how I would
think about it but we certainly found
things that didn't work right so Thomas
Edison talks about I didn't fail 10 000
times which supposedly is how many
filaments he tried when trying to invent
the light bulb said I didn't fail 10 000
times I simply found 10 000 ways that
didn't work and every attempt discarded
is another step forward okay so you just
spent seven years
putting things to the side that you know
aren't going to work a bunch of attempts
discarded cool you're now seven years
ahead of everybody else now you may be
approaching the job market in the wrong
way you may be applying for jobs that
require hard skills but I'm telling you
look if
an entry level position depending on
what you're trying to go into if it's an
entry level position like I am trying to
be an entry-level doctor with my you
know seven years of startup experience
this is never going to work or I'm
trying to be an entry-level coder that's
never going to work right there are
certain things that have really hard
skills and you're going to need those
hard skills go learn them right so
learning this stuff takes time and
energy but that's all it takes time and
energy okay it's what I call the only
belief that matters if you put time and
energy into learning a skill into
getting better you will actually get
better at that skill okay I'm not saying
it's not hard but who the [ __ ] cares
like it drives me crazy that people
focus on it's hard yes it's hard getting
good at [ __ ] is hard outperforming other
people is hard but if you want to win
you've got to do hard [ __ ] so you're
gonna have to lean into this you're
gonna have to get good so anyway the
fact that people get weird that learn to
code has become like some sort of weird
thing I don't understand if you want a
job at something that requires a set of
skills go get that set of skills that's
just that [ __ ] simple you're seven
years may have been a total waste of
time in the
acquisition of skills towards the job
that you want now
but unless you've just spent the last
seven years staring at a wall you have a
treasure Trove of learnings that you'll
be able to pull from so now this is a
question about how you're approaching
the job market not a question about
whether you wasted those seven years so
we have to frame this in such a way that
we understand what the value of those
seven years was how we can articulate
that value to somebody as we begin
approaching the job market and getting
good at pitching yourself is a skill and
it's not necessarily going to come easy
but I have a gut instinct that the real
problem that you have is just how to
interview for a job how to explain to
people what it is that you're good at
because
the Hard Knock Life of an entrepreneur
is
man the amount that you're learning is
so crazy leadership working with people
um how to create momentum starting from
scratch and getting your first customer
I mean it's really an extraordinary
skill set so find the right thing to
approach from a job perspective
um
practice articulating what that is
walk into the interview armed to the
teeth
with how you can help their company do
way more work than anybody else applying
for that job and you will get a job this
is where you can learn on your
entrepreneurial skills harder than
you've ever done in your life to show
people the kind of value that you can
bring the last thing I'm going to give
you on that is this idea of starting
from scratch I want you to use the brain
in a vat thought exercise I do this to
myself all the time every time I can
feel I'm about to get stuck in this Loop
of like
um you know how have I learned the right
things am I pointed in the right
direction do we just spend a year
pursuing something that was stupid
I'm never going to get that year back
I remind myself it's entirely possible
in fact I actually am a brain in a vat
it just so happens that the vat is my
skull and my brain is creating an
artificial reality
I'm not saying we live in a VR world but
I am saying your brain never light never
touches your brain sound never touches
your brain and yet you have this sense
of sound and sight and touch and feel
and all that stuff as if it were outside
of you when a reality is being created
in this virtual environment your brain
so what if I were just a brain in a vat
somewhere and all of my memories are
fake and that I actually just came
online seven seconds ago that thought
experiment is so powerful to me because
it reminds me oh my memories can work
for me or against me they're just the
background that I need to give me the
context to move forward so if this is
really just about context right which is
all memories are it's just context then
while I can't change the memories I can
change how I think about the memories
and so I'm going to re-contextualize
those seven years as being my 10 000
hours of getting good at something and
now it's like cool they weren't failures
they were lessons and now what I do with
those lessons is up to me this is like
one of the key insights of my life
you should only ever do and believe that
which moves you towards your goal
so will
feeling badly about
making what may have been a legitimate
mistake maybe you handle that poorly
maybe you should have taken the other
job or maybe you should have waited to
tell the other people no until you'd
actually signed on the dotted line right
super powerful lessons you're probably
going to handle this differently in the
future
but will beating yourself up over it
holding on to it kicking yourself
thinking what a dummy you are is that
going to move you towards your goal if
it does then do it but my gut instinct
is it will only serve you as much as it
will give you the impetus that you need
to ask yourself what should I do
differently the next time that is
powerful
spiraling out of control because you
made a mistake is not powerful in fact
you need to be decisive in life you made
a [ __ ] decision it didn't work out
such as life it just goes like it goes
so now we need to find a way I'm
constantly asking myself how can I get
control in my hands so that I'm not
waiting on somebody else right you could
go right now start a YouTube channel you
don't have to wait for Legacy Media to
give you the thumbs up you have a phone
get on your phone record yourself if you
can add value to people then you can
build an ecosystem so two things we're
going to reframe right it's a key part
of bouncing back from failure we're
going to reframe that failure there's
powerful lessons to be learned looking
forward we're only gonna do and believe
about ourselves that which moves us
towards our goal so we're not going to
sit there and think what an idiot we are
because it's only going to slow us down
negative energy psychologically it's not
putting you in the best place okay and
then we're going to realize hey we can
keep applying cool go do it yeah yeah
like become the best interviewer ever
get more jobs keep going it's a numbers
game and we always have the other option
which is to build the following for
ourselves but we retain that control
we're always looking for what we could
do differently we're not putting the
power in somebody else's hand okay so
here is a concept
this is a really hard reality to face
When We Are Young
we can become anything
but as we age we become something
specific
and there's a death in that there's
something that really bothers me about
that that legitimately I have the chills
right now it that [ __ ] haunts me
and so I understand what you're saying
I get go through the darkness with me
here for a minute I'm going to pull you
back out on the other side I promise
that does suck
and
I have a friend
who failed to get into the College of
his choice which would have moved him to
a different city
and the thing that kept him from going I
mean it's a whole story it's too
heartbreaking for Words stupid
and
he ended up not moving and because he
didn't move the course of his life in my
opinion changed forever
and I remember thinking why didn't he if
that's what he really wanted
why didn't he try what Alex benion calls
the third door
you didn't get in the first door fair
enough right that just sort of knock
knock anybody there
you didn't get in the
window right or the second door
but there's always the third option of
going soham
Whatever It Takes by hooker crook
to get in like
when you read Alex's book
and the things that he did to
get an interview with Larry King the
Warren Buffett one is a great example he
wanted to ask a question at the Warren
Buffett every year holds the um the
conference where shareholders get to
come and get asked questions
he worked so hard to figure out because
there's they do it in an arena there are
different microphones all over the arena
and he figured out that certain places
get called on more frequently than
others he got like five or six friends
that all had or maybe even b