Kind: captions
Language: en
Alex hermosi welcome to the show
thank you for having me dude I cannot be
more excited so I want to Dive Right In
if somebody is starting from scratch
what are the traits skill sets that they
should be cultivating in order to up the
odds of their success
they should focus on one thing in
general rather than lots of different
things that you're not sure about
because if you're starting out
everything looks like an opportunity so
the correct answer is all of them are
opportunities but all of them won't work
unless you pick one right so you have to
say no to all the other Mistresses so
boom you pick one and then from there I
always say six figures is sell something
to someone that's it and if you want
more detail sell something to someone so
it's one Avatar one product one channel
so you don't have to figure out how do I
create 20 pieces of content across it's
like
just pick one channel one media Source
whether it's Facebook Instagram YouTube
you know whatever Twitter consistently
start going on that whether that's cold
outbound whether that's content whether
it's running paid ads whether it's
Affiliates Word of Mouth whatever it is
um start reaching out to people there to
start selling your stuff and so if you
can just do that consistently and I use
something all right what's the skill set
that's going to make somebody good and
this is six figures still yeah so what's
the skill set in that is it getting good
at the outbound is it good and good at
saying no to the other stuff like how do
we translate that into a skill set you
have to learn how to advertise which I
Define is the process of making known so
how do you let other people know about
the stuff you sell so you have to
advertise there's six ways to do it I
covered five just now so there's there's
six ways you can do it and then once
people engage with whatever
advertisement you have you have to sell
them so advertising is the first skill
selling them is the second skill and
then product would be the third skill
which is the thing that you're
ultimately advertising and selling okay
so that gets us six figures what gets a
seven doing the same thing consistently
so usually once people do it in the
beginning they're sporadic they're not
consistent with it just the act of doing
the same thing every day usually gets
people to
100 000 a month which sounds crazy it's
probably people listening but most
people who think that's crazy also
haven't done it consistently for an
extended period of time and so I use
something that I call the rule 100 which
is 100 primary actions whether that's
100 minutes of of content creation per
day 100 reach outs per day uh 100 of AD
spend per day uh like you have to pick
one of them but 100 per day and you do
that for 100 days and I promise you'll
have you'll be making six figures if you
do that
most people won't yeah I know you know
that they will fail at something what is
the most common thing that you see
people fail so you give them the
blueprint your ability to articulate a
blueprint to success is insane
legitimately insane dude when I so I'm
gonna make a prediction right now five
years from now in this space you will be
one of the biggest people on social
media 100 guaranteed YouTube podcast
whatever because your advice is real and
I said I I was about to tell you
something and I said I'm going to say it
on camera and I will tell you right now
I judge everybody that comes on the show
by when I'm doing the research to bring
you on which is a way bigger time
investment than the interview itself did
I actually learn something did I move
forward did I enjoy myself dude it was
awesome researching you was awesome it
was good for the business it was good
for the soul good for the mindset
everything so this is going to be
incredible
but where do people fall down because
most people even knowing how articulate
you are and know that people are still
going to fail is crazy and I know that
most people are going to fail so where
where do people really struggle in that
equation
I think it's fear mostly
um I know that's not a skill but I think
it's a character trait and so people are
afraid of Val you know not getting
validated or they're afraid of judgment
that they perceive from other people
that exist or don't exist in their lives
um and so for whatever reason they have
this second voice that criticizes
everything they do that in reality isn't
even there but it's constantly present
it's like the antithesis of whatever the
god figure is but just the negative
voice and so I think that's the thing
that stops most people from doing the
stuff they know they need to do because
if you think about like whether it's
want to get in shape or I want to have a
better marriage or I want to make more
money most people on some level at a
basic level they know what to do and my
proof point of like even making money
right most of us have had a bill that
came up that was unexpected a tax bill a
car breaks down a health thing whatever
it is and we find a way and so when it's
for someone else
people are will use the actual
resourcefulness that they have to make
the money but for whatever reason they
won't use that same resourcefulness to
make it for themselves and so I think
that most people know if they want to
work out uh start to get in shape or to
lose weight whatever they know they need
to eat fewer donuts and move more in
general but they don't right because
they're afraid of getting started or
they don't have the discipline to keep
going which is they can't make the
short-term sacrifice for the long-term
achievement so big picture it's like
there's usually some fear that's
preventing from doing it and then how it
looks from a behavioral standpoint is
they do not make the short-term
sacrifice of discomfort for the
long-term achievement independent of
whatever path they're talking about
you guys are going to want to say to the
end I'm going to give you my favorite
Alex quote but now I'm going to give you
one that I actually think pertains to
this so you said how to stay poor assume
you're always right yeah and when I
think about people failing it's because
in fact there's another quote this one I
didn't write down but I'm going to get
close
marketing is just a fancy nine-letter
word for test
and
once people understand you're going to
fail and you're going to fail a lot if
you can't deal with that failure yeah if
you think that failing makes you a
failure if you think that it's a
permanent state of being and you're
never going to get better then you won't
do the things you need to do to
ultimately be successful you talk about
consistency
but it isn't just consistency because if
you do it wrong yeah consistently you're
still going to fail right so this is you
have to be in my own language willing to
stare nakedly at your inadequacies yeah
and if you can stare nakedly at your
inadequacies then you can actually get
better if you're running the tests and
you're like hey looking at the data did
this work or did this not work 100 then
you can actually improve
but you went through this so in the
beginning of your career and this is one
of the things I find most interesting
about your story is you failed you
actually pulled your now wife aside and
said I'm a sinking ship yeah uh and if
you wanted to leave I would completely
understand yeah uh how did you go from
that to like there was something you
figured out yeah what what is that thing
you figured out
laughs
I think at that point
um
the the reality of my situation was so
Bleak that I I didn't conf I honestly
didn't even process the reality of my
situation because the more I thought
about it like the sadder more hopeless I
would feel and so I focused on the few
things that were under my control which
is like I can do these things and so
when I talk about advertising I want to
talk about selling I talk about those
things boiled down to the actual actions
because I had to think of it in that way
because it was the only way that it
wasn't overwhelming it's like I just
have to make a hundred reach outs or I
just have to spend 100 a day and I have
to look at the ads and I have to turn
off the ones that are bad and do more of
the stuff that starts to work
um and and that that was the process of
getting me from kind of like
dark to a better a better outcome but I
mean from that actual point we did the
only thing we knew how to do which was
at market and sell and that was that was
how we got out of that and honestly that
that single skill of being able to
generate leads
um independent of the industry has been
like my get out of jail free card
um which has allowed me to fail over and
over and over again until finally you
know I got it right and even after that
one when we were at the Rock Bottom
there I had just you know nine 90 days
earlier got in a DUI my mom was in the
hospital
um really bad shape uh that's when I had
just lost all the money which is when I
pulled her aside but then fast forward
six months basically repeated the cycle
again which is I had we had started
doing these launches where he'd fly out
and and turn gyms around like Bar Rescue
but for gyms
and when we were out there uh
all of a sudden we came back home and we
saw like two of the gyms refunded all of
the transactions they just told the
people they could just sign up through
them and just do it for half the rate
after we had already spent the money for
the hotels and the flights and all the
ad spent and every you know a whole
month of work
and so basically all the money that we
had saved up in that like I think we're
out of jail free lost it all again
um and only then did we accidentally
um pivot into the licensing model which
ended up becoming the thing that was
like the first very big success that we
had but like that whole period of time
was five years of basically not having
anything even though on you know on
paper when I had the gyms I materially
looked successful because we had six
locations but I always just put all my
money back into each you know each new
location so I had very little actual
cash I was asset rich and cash four I
know that's real yeah all right and so
but then when I lost everything after
that because I sold them took the money
put in the new Venture and then lost it
I was like wait I just lost five years
because I had nothing to show for it and
so that's probably what what has created
a lot of the hypothesis I have now
around I didn't lose the five years I
lost the assets which were not the most
valuable thing that I had earned over
that time it was the skills the
experiences the character traits because
I still had those and then using those
three things I was able to do the next
thing unfortunately
um yeah I'm obsessed with learning yes
and it's interesting because I've had
the level of success that I've had and
because I'm technically middle-aged it's
just crazy to say I used to be the kid I
swear to God uh
it is it's really there's a
gravitational Center in my brain that
wants me to think that I have crossed
some line yeah and that it's about
looking backwards and it's really
dangerous like you have to be looking
for I mean God willing I've got you know
another 40 plus years of life left
and
every time that I get in that trap it's
I just re-anchor around wow I'm still
learning like all this stuff I'm 46 but
I've learned so much I failed so many
times and I've acquired so much
knowledge and skill set and all of that
and then you can think about oh cool
like as long as I've got the energy to
keep pushing to keep building because I
have
to your earliest point about what makes
you successful it's the that is
literally My Kryptonite is I have a very
hard time accepting the fact that I can
do anything I want with my life but not
everything yeah and that I find deeply
distressing but like on a level that
borders on mental illness yeah and
by focusing cutting out the other stuff
and recognizing okay I've reinvented
myself again yeah
but
a lot of that knowledge is going to
transfer it's going to be useful as I
push forward but getting obsessed with
learning yeah like that would be the
gift if I could give to people and say
okay you you want to be successful I get
it everybody wants it right now but if
you can stack these skills like then if
you've got the skill set and the
methodology that you know you and others
can really lay out incredibly well it's
like now you can do something but if you
have the methodology but not the skills
or you don't have the mindset and so
you're broken by the failure or you
don't have the methodology if you're
missing any one of those then you end up
in a death spiral yeah
it's interesting what you're saying with
the learning thing because
um I think a lot of people said like the
early because I I also have like I feel
like two parts of the audience is that
like follow my stuff I've got the
business owners who are trying to scale
their business Etc and then I've got all
the people who want to start a business
and usually they're a little bit younger
and whatnot and I think there's a
misnomer around like education and so a
lot of them I don't know how explicit I
can be but like they mentally masturbate
so watching lots and lots of videos they
you know want the pump up features they
buy the tickets to the things and so
they just learn and I think that they
think that exposure to information is
learning and I don't think that's true
or at least it hasn't been for me so
definitely not sure so you know because
I'm sure you get asked all the time like
what are the books that you know
transform your life and I've had a
handful of books that have been useful
to me but I would say 99 of the things
that I have learned I've learned they're
doing and so when I do the original rule
of 100 and whatnot it's because I think
it's the most effective way to learn
which is you force yourself on the one
controllable that you have which is the
activities that you can take and then it
goes with the underlying assumption that
you go off feedback and you're like well
that opening message did not work yeah
right and then I think most people have
a dramatic underestimation of how much
volume it takes to be successful
independent of the thing right they're
like okay I should go on five dates and
then find the girl I'm gonna marry it's
like what if it was 500. to find the
right girl you're going to marry or I
want to you know start this this new
channel or I want to honest become an
influencer whatever it is and they start
doing you know one post a day for four
weeks and they're like why am I not
famous yet and they find I mean real
right true and they find out that like
you know we ended up doing 400 episodes
before we made it to the top 10 on the
podcast thing and now we start doing you
know 100 plus pieces of content a week
and it's just this volume game that you
get the the skill from the volume the
feedback from the volume and there's all
these like little things I'm sure it's
like from the exercise world because you
come from that
um like when you squat the first time
you squat you're you're orienting
yourself to your environment you're
barely actually squatting you're just
looking like you have a bar on your back
but you learn so much between that first
rep and your ten thousandth rep of
squats and so I think for most people
it's like if we can if I my goal like
you with the learning is like if I can
just decrease the action threshold for
people to begin and be okay with the
fact that they're going to to suck and
it is okay to suck it is you should
expect to suck and it would be
unreasonable for you to be good if you
haven't done it before and so it's like
are you asking the universe to be
unreasonable for you
by
expecting to be good on your first try
and I think that's where a lot of people
it's the expectation that destroys their
ability to be successful because they
expect to win on the first shot and no
one does do you worry at all about
people wanting to be on camera right
from the jump because that puts an
expectation to be good that oh yeah
that's rough
um
I think it's so much like
if we're so
many so many feelings about this
um so you've got you've got this whole
Space right and you look at like if
you're like I want to be a business
influencer right well it's like we look
at the guys who actually at the top of
the business game and virtually everyone
you Andy Ed Gary all those guys have
killed in business and most of them even
Gary had gone to 60 million a year
before he made his first content and so
I think the issue is that people look at
that and say I should make content like
them when you don't have you can't
answer the underlying question which is
why should I listen to you which is
always in the back of every audience is
mine in my opinion at least that's what
I think like when someone's like a
relationship expert and I find out
they've been divorced three times I'm
like yeah you know maybe not right I
mean and as terrible as it is they might
be giving amazing advice but it doesn't
pass the first filter which is if I'm
going to take military strategy from
someone I'd rather have a general that
has a winning record even if the other
guy Napoleon said I'd rather have lucky
generals
so even if you had two that were even
you'd rather have the lucky one and so
to the same degree I think people use
that filter because it actually takes
less effort to learn from someone that
you trust and so it's like if you've got
the the basement teacher that's telling
you the dollar cost average of the s p
and you've got Warren Buffett who's
telling people to dollar cost average in
the s p they don't want to listen to the
teacher even if the teacher is better
objectively from a constant standpoint
because they just don't know if they
should trust them so you have to have
two filters I'm hearing the thing sure I
trust the thing with Warren you can just
plug into whatever he's saying just take
it as truth which takes less effort and
so I think most people don't get that
point and so I think you should make
content but the if you're or you should
advertise the stuff that you sell let
people know about what you're doing
um but it should be about the true
expertise that you have which is
oftentimes just talking about the stuff
you're doing rather than saying you
should be doing this this is what I am
doing hope you find it interesting hope
you find it valuable and I think that's
a big Dynamic which at first is like how
to it's how I
um just that little shift and I think a
lot of people would get much bigger
better audiences and actually make more
money from the content that they're
making because everyone else is like why
should I listen to you yeah
yeah with content like I'm I'm open
anybody that wants to make it make it
people will watch it if it's adding
value hopefully they don't do what you
were describing earlier which I'll call
spiritual entertainment where they're
just learning learning learning watching
watching watching getting motivated
getting inspired they're not doing
anything with it but my big concern with
people creating content is that they
will trap themselves because they're
afraid to suck like when I got a new
camera I was like wow I'm really rolling
the dice now because my life has taught
me one immutable truth I'm going to fail
a lot and there's nothing that tells me
that that period in my life is over like
and and it was never interesting to me
to like ride into the sunset on oh I
sold Quest so I sold Quest and then like
[ __ ] Babe Ruth I said I'm gonna build
the next Disney right yeah but I went on
camera and said look honestly the odds
are stacked against me the odds that I
fail are way higher than I that I
succeed right and so
going into that I did not want to back
myself into a corner where I was afraid
to try things I was afraid to step into
an area where I wasn't good because it's
the only way that I know to get better
right which I call the physics of
progress I call it the physics for a
reason so I think it is truly the only
way to improve yeah is basically the
scientific method you come up with an
informed hypothesis come up with a test
that lets you actually try that out you
test it you get results you stare
nakedly at those results which will
sting a little because it almost
certainly did not work as well as you
hoped yeah you will then get a little
bit wiser you will reformulate a
hypothesis you will retest and you just
that's the loop right and you just go go
and you see what works and you see what
doesn't but people are so interested in
looking cool yeah that the content
becomes the Trap that stops them from
actually getting good it's the posturing
it's the external validation that they
need to feel like the success they're
not having in reality can be made up for
with likes and comments and perceive
success
talk to me about the so you said that
you wanted to Vanquish your dad yeah so
this to me is tied to that idea of like
you you need something that propels you
you need something that pushes you to go
through all of this
but also trying letting your dad control
your actions is probably not the best
move yeah so like how is it useful and
then is there getting to the other side
of that yeah
so um and you know to be clear dad uh
the I would say that the vanquishing
thing is something that I was able to
kind of recognize in retrospect which
was it was all about beating my dad
earlier on so and a lot of that was
because I felt like a lot of the respect
was withheld from me earlier on and it
was always like a moving Target which is
you know if you need to be this you need
to be that you have to be in shape you
have to date hot girls you have to be
top your class you have to play all the
Varsity Sports like all those things
right be Editor to the newspaper be
editor-in-chief of the of the literary
magazine all those things at the same
time and still if I got something wrong
on a test it was like would you get
wrong you know rather than this is cool
I'm not 99 right yeah I'm not boohooing
about it is what it is it's made me who
I am and I'm grateful for it
um but that was kind of the the earlier
part was I wanted to win the game that
had been set out for me and you know
first it was make a hundred thousand a
year and then it was make uh the same
amount of amount as my dad and then it
was make more than my dad and then it
was make more than my dad had ever made
his entire life and then once that
happened I looked around and I was like
I think I've been playing his game and
not my game and so I wasn't really
setting any rules I was just playing
with the rules that were given to me and
so and kind of thing like is this even
the game I want to play
and so that you know that took me you
know a little bit of time to process
um and I think that It ultimately to
your question I think it did serve me a
lot and I don't know how much of these
reinforced behaviors that I learned
during that period of time still benefit
me today but they're not fueled by the
same thing so I still have these habits
of how I work and and you know being
dedicated towards goals Etc that I think
were born of that but no longer are
fueled from that now you lay out three
traits of ultra successful people yeah I
don't know if they're yours or if you
know them somewhere they're not mine so
so brilliant and when you said it you
put words to something that I have felt
for a very long time yeah
um if you don't remember them I have
them here but if you remember I remember
them yes uh and so it's
there's three traits that people then
they looked at because they were trying
to find Habits of Highly Successful
People and when they actually pulled
apart it's not you know and I hope I'm
not contradicting anything
um but there's people who are really
rich who wake up really late and work
really late and there's people really
rich who wake up really really early and
there's people who really rich who eat
really healthy and there's people really
rich who drink Coca-Cola and eat french
fries every day and so there's all these
things that we want to make as truths
but there there's easy examples that
counter those things so it's like what
are the few things that are true or at
least that seem to be present in all of
the situations and it seems as though
they were surprisingly fit and so the
three common traits that they had that
they had found were one that people have
superiority complex they believe they're
better than others and they believe that
they deserve more than everyone else
does and that they can accomplish big
goals right so they have a bigger Vision
because they believe they deserve it or
whatever it is that they were able to
identify that the second thing that they
would identify is that they had
crippling insecurity and which which is
a paradox of paradoxes they feel they'll
never be enough
um and they'll always be measured
against the things that they've achieved
and so you've got this crazy dynamic
between they they think they're better
than everyone they think they deserve
more they want to go after this big hill
and at the same time they fear they'll
never be good enough and they'll never
actually achieve it and they actually
suck and then the third piece which kind
of adds the beautiful like mix of this
is impulse control and so they're able
to control their actions and focus on a
single thing for an extended period of
time and so if you put those three
things together it's like you've got a
big goal that's pulling you this way
you've got this big fear that you are
running away from and then you've got
impulse control to keep you focused on
the one thing that matters yes and if
you do that if you if you are the type
of person who has the those traits then
you are very likely to be successful
what is up my friend Tom bilyeu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
right I've just released a class from
Impact Theory university called how to
build Ironclad discipline that teaches
you the process of building yourself up
in this area so that you can push
yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
you gave me the chills twice while you
were explaining that so this is
I'm often asked like hey you know what
does it take to be successful or how did
I get successful and I'm like from the
time I was a little kid so I grew up
lower middle class and but from the time
I was a kid I told everybody I am going
to be rich like you don't understand I'm
going to be rich I was so angered by not
being able to get the things that I
wanted as a kid and I had a little
problem with authority and so I felt
like I was being told that I had this
box to stay and I was like no no I had
always had these crazy dreams and I just
believed I could make it come true yeah
but I'm terrifyingly insecure that I'm
not smart enough to pull it off yeah and
I have something I need to prove to
myself to my wife my father-in-law my
own parents like I just [ __ ] no matter
how much I achieve I still have this
right so I I have this crushing need to
validate myself and to feel like no you
really did have a kid yes and but I am
psychotic at my ability to delay a
gratification yeah like I can suffer and
toil and grind and just like I don't
need to eat the marshmallow for a
hundred years right which is stupid in
some ways but you put those three things
together and you just go and go and go
it's really again sorry yeah so to the
marshmallow point because I think this
is really interesting and I don't think
it's talked about enough which is they
they like to separate the kids into the
two buckets right like uh the kitty
waits for two marshmallows and the kid
who just says I want the marshmallow now
but I feel like they should have a third
bucket which says how long do they ask
the kid to wait for the marshmallow
right because it's not do you have like
because I like to think of things and
like a lot of times we have false
dichotomies or we have binaries where
like good or bad you know disciplined or
undisciplined I'm honest or dishonest
right when I think more reality is to
what degree am I honest to what extent
am I disciplined to what degree am I you
know loyal right oh God there's a whole
conversation yeah yeah and so I think
that each of those three that we just
went over it's it's not do I have them
or not for the people who are listening
because people like to think yes I have
it or like oh well I have all three of
those it's not having them and I'm sure
you've interviewed some of the most
successful people on the planet it's how
much do you have yeah right and so I
think that like your ability to delay
gratification it's not just like oh I
can wait a week or I can wait a month
but it I made this tweet that went
pretty viral it was like if you can wait
a year
you can make a ton of money like if you
can do something for 12 months you
cannot need for financial goodness
pretty much for the rest of your life
I'm not saying you're gonna be hella
Rich right but you're not going to need
for anything if you can wait 12 months
if you can wait a decade you're going to
be above the one percent if you can wait
10 years for an outcome be able to do
the doing without seeing the result
for 10 years
you will be able to be above any most
achievement of most people
and if you can wait a lifetime and you
don't even need to see the result of
your doing this even while you are alive
but know that it may get done after you
pass then I I believe that you can
change the world and I mean that
and so I think that if people can just
extend the time Horizon
that they're measuring themselves on
they can just do so much more I mean
you've probably heard the Bill Gates
quote where he says people overestimate
what they can do in a year and
underestimate what they can do in a
decade I think it's the same thing just
continue to draw it out and I think as
I've as we've been able to you know
achieve more leverage and make more
money Etc my Horizon has extended and
when I listen to the people who are the
people who I want to emulate I can
almost tell by the measurement of money
that they talk about and the measurement
of time that they discussed how
successful they are or how successful I
think they're going to be like if I talk
to a 25 year old and he's talking about
what he wants to do in two decades and
his whole plan of what he's going to do
as long as he's not just blowing smoke
because he's heard an interview from me
um then I'm like this kid's got it he
gets it he gets it and most people just
don't think they can't wait 90 days that
most people can't even wait a month
right they start a diet and 14 days
later they don't have a six-pack and
they can't wait but like if you do a
year you can look whatever way you want
for the most part you know by and large
and if you wait a year for the ability
to learn how to sell you wait a year for
the ability to learn how to Market wait
a year just providing value to a group
of people for free and then delaying
your ask
you can do whatever you want now and I
don't know how you can react to this if
we can separate that idea from being
patient yeah so I made a shirt that said
[ __ ] patience okay but yeah if you're
not playing the long game you're screwed
so my thing with patience is you have to
go all out at a sprinter's pace totally
and run a marathon at a sprinter's pace
if you want to achieve something yeah
that's where people fall down you'll
find people that can wait but can they
and this is one of my all-time favorite
quotes I'm pretty sure it's Winston
Churchill though people often attribute
things to him yeah who knows uh success
is the ability to go from failure to
failure without a loss of enthusiasm now
there are people that can go from
failure to failure but do they lose the
enthusiasm can they attack it as hard I
was telling you at the at the end of
this year we have a plastic table that
I'm going to smash the little pieces
because it has come to represent like
the hardest thing that I've built in my
professional career they're just all the
[ __ ] problems that have been
associated with it
and but I'm still going after it is hard
every day and when I think about
like so because I've had success and I
know how many people are chasing it I
can just say people a lot of time it's
not going to give you what you think
it's going to give you so like don't
bother chasing that kind of success yeah
uh so an easy way to say it is uh don't
worry about winning a championship ring
worry very much about becoming capable
of a championship performance that will
be a far more interesting life because
you really do want to get that good yeah
but in the pursuit of that thing in
getting that good it's like it is going
to take an inhuman amount of
concentration willingness to fight
through the pain and suffering and an
ability to attach enough meaning and
purpose to it yeah that you'll keep
going when you're just getting
kicked in the space over and over like
it's crazy yeah and so knowing how badly
people want that I want for them that
thing like how whatever it is and and I
have a method that I can teach people
how to do it but most people still won't
do it which is to build the desire to
create an association between the doing
that thing yeah and the meaning and
purpose that you want to have for your
own life and that it's not going to seem
self-evident you have to bolt it on it
feels kind of fake in the beginning but
if you really invest and it really is
something that you care about it can't
be fake but if it really is something
that you care about and you build that
intense Association then you can fight
through that but
boredom kills more entrepreneurs than
fear or failure ever will
when you say boredom do you mean that
they're starting something it's starting
to work and then they just switch
because they're add or no I mean that
doing something where you don't get the
result that you want and it's 10 years
out and you're going to have to do what
Jeff Bezos calls overhead right no
matter how much you love your job
there's always overhead there's a boring
[ __ ] yeah and what I find is people they
can't stay on task yeah I find in myself
a strong desire not to stay on task
because it is boring it's just boring or
even worse
if it feels bad yeah and you have to
keep doing it and you have to wake up
every day and face that like this is
really going to be tough and it's going
to be tough for a very an undetermined
amount of time yeah so it's not even
like I know it's going to be a year yeah
it's there's an unknown amount of
suffering before me and I have to
somehow continue to muster the
enthusiasm and have faith yeah that this
theory that I have is actually going to
work out or that I'll get better right
that maybe this Theory isn't the Right
theory but I'll be able to figure it out
it's interesting you say that because um
we talk about need to beliefs when we're
thinking about a company that we want to
like invest in and so it's like what are
the you know we try to have as few
native beliefs as possible for you know
a growth thesis to happen
um and then not only do we want to have
as few as possible interesting need to
believe like I need to believe that this
is true for this outcome to be possible
yeah so how do we have as few of those
as possible and how do we have that
those need to believe statements are as
high likely as humanly possible right so
it's like do like if we had a business
that was reliant on and you know an
inflationary period or something I'd say
like okay well I believe that that's you
know
High likelihood that it's going to occur
okay so I feel okay about that one and
if that was the only thing I need to
believe for this whole business to be
successful like where do I write a check
this is the only thing right so it's how
many of these are there right and if
there's a lot of them then with each
additional line or likelihood of getting
the outcome we want goes down
um and so I think that if reversing that
for success for somebody who's coming
along is like
what amount of action would it be
unreasonable for me not to be successful
and so for me it's like I I believe that
if you do 10 000 cold calls you'll
you'll get better like it would be
unreasonable for you not to be good like
after that level of effort if you if you
run you know if you take half your
paycheck every month or a 30-year
paycheck every month and you say I'm
going to advertising University which is
I'm going to spend money actually
advertising trying to get people to
click on this thing and give me their
name and phone number if you go and you
spend that amount of money on actually
advertising after a year after two years
you'll probably you'll probably be
pretty good especially if you join a
community other people who are doing the
same thing right you see got mentors who
are doing who who have done and give you
Frameworks that you can just work off so
you can shortcut your path to success it
becomes unreasonable that you wouldn't
be more successful in the future than
you are today and so I like thinking
about things in terms of directionally
correct rather than will I hit it or not
right I think there's so many binaries
because it's easy psychologically for us
to say yes no honest dishonest Etc
successful not successful
um but it makes making decisions really
hard
because you're like is this the path for
me is this the product owned the
business I'm going to start where I was
like well if I started something I would
be more likely to be successful than if
I did not start anything and from there
I will gain experience in perspective to
then make the next iteration on the main
thing and I was Quest your first thing
ever first successful thing but you've
done other stuff before that and failed
and I I still I was referrals like I
hope Quest wasn't his first thing
um most people had thank God it wasn't
right
most people had a graveyard of failures
before they had their actual first
success and so most people spend all
this time
um a different tweet that went viral it
said like with 20 hours of focused
effort most people can be pretty decent
at something whether it's guitar it's
singing even cold calling if you
actually cold call it for 20 hours
focused effort
you'd be decent but most people spend
years waiting to do the first hour
whoa
whoa and so it's like how can I decrease
that action threshold and get someone to
just just just embrace the suck and so
it's like how can I normalize no's so
it's like if I'm teaching somebody to
sell it's like dude I need to get 100 of
those all right let's get 100 for me
okay with the S just get 100 no's and
the thing is all of a sudden if the no
becomes the goal then they realize that
it's about the process another outcome
and then they will become better sales
people because they stop being afraid of
it the same thing like for training
salesperson I want them to hear the gasp
right which is like you say a price over
the phone everyone's afraid of saying
the price it's like dude if you didn't
get a gasp you didn't go high enough
right they're like what I'm like oh you
failed terrible sale they didn't gasp
they're like really and so then it
becomes it flips it and becomes a point
of Pride it's like oh I got her you
should hear the gasp on this one and so
all of a sudden they stop being afraid
we normalize we do like exposure therapy
on things that people are most afraid of
and I hope that with all the stuff that
we do that we can do that in a microwave
for at least a handful of people so they
just start doing and realize that
they're going to gain perspective and
the light of their knowledge will give
them the next foot but the thing is
they're stuck on the first one trying to
pick the first path when they have no
idea what they're doing
was selling ever hard for you like the
idea of selling not that I'm sure you
were bad at it at one point but was the
idea of trying to convince somebody to
buy something yeah I uh so when I quit
my job
um my dad's buddy was in private Wealth
Management in Maryland and so he called
me up and was like hey you should sell
for me and I to this day he jokes about
it now with me
um I said ah sales I was like I'm not a
Salesman I was like I'm an academic you
know what I mean I just come for a you
know on the bones and I thought you know
whatever and um and then lo and behold I
signed my lease I slept on the floor and
I was like how do I pay rent and woman
walks in the door and I was like I need
to get her to give me money so I can pay
rent
and I was like oh this is sales and I
didn't know so for me it was just
begging people to give me money in the
beginning like I promise I'm going to
give you the best results ever
um but the idea of sales was very I I
thought it was beneath me I thought it
was scammy I thought it was
used car sales you know just like the
abhorrent black you know that'd be the
right word but
um yeah and then I through exposure I
realized that it was and I ended up I in
life's irony being something that I've
really fallen in love with
there are there are people on the
internet I will let them remain nameless
that they give me the heebie-jeebies I
am deeply uncomfortable with something
in the way that they sell and I've
actually never taken the time to figure
out what it is and I probably should I'd
make a lot more money but there are
people that made me deeply uncomfortable
and then there's something about you so
I'd never heard of you somebody ping me
was like yo you need to check this guy
out and I looked at your stuff and I'm
like there's something about the way
that you talk that is super matter
effect it isn't the I have nothing to
sell you because you're an incredible
salesperson so even when I interface
with the way that you sell it doesn't
creep me out I've I've not thought about
it enough to know why but I bet you have
what is it that makes a salesperson
creepy and why aren't you creepy
why aren't you creepy the the best the
best interview question I've ever had
um so I I think a lot about this because
I'm outlining the next book which is so
the next book is leads and I'm already
done the draft and you know how that is
where I'm like oh I'm not done that book
but like I'm like I can't wait for the
next book
um and so I'm thinking through like what
what is it that that sales is overall
right it's structuring a conversation to
increase the Liker that the person who's
on the other side gives you money that's
what it is it's structuring that
conversation that way and structuring
that conversation I heard you mention
something that you call and I I am so
only vaguely aware of like proper sales
oh but you said holding the frame oh
yeah like it's not about the words you
say it's how you say them and whether
you can hold the frame is that what you
mean by structure of the call all of it
yes I mean so what is what is the
structure what is holding a frame like
what does that mean so in
I have like I love sales so so when
you're when you're when two people
interact in general no matter what man
woman child whatever
two frames Collide and I believe it's
animalistic whatever it is there is a
there's a decision of who is Alpha now
the alpha is also contextual and so you
can be Alpha in like the president
United States is Alpha everywhere until
he goes into a doctor's office he tells
him to pull his ass and he sticks his
finger up right frame right in that room
doctor is King right he is the alpha in
that setting in that context and so the
ability to hold the frame for most for
most salespeople is really having a that
sounds crazy having a clear agenda and
controlling the conversation which is
why are we here right because it a lot
of sales is clear communication because
if you clearly communicate because the
biggest advantage that a salesman has is
that the person that's already said they
have a problem most times right so if
someone responds to a Content piece and
says hey can you help me they've already
enunciated they have an issue they have
a problem and so you already have the
inherent advantage of the frame which is
you said you needed help I'm here how
can I help you right and so it starts
with that right it's it's being clear
about why we're here and then we get
agreement that we understood the problem
that they said they had next and then
from that point we have to turn the
desire into a decision which is okay you
say you want these things here's the
frame that I want to give you to analyze
the decision can we agree to this Frame
right and so for example if I were
selling marketing services and I so
whenever we we rework a sales script
with any of the portfolio companies
which is one of the things that we do to
make them grow
a lot of times they have all this
gobbledygook right and so I like the
shortest possible scripts we can because
a lot of communication is wasted right
so what happens a lot of times on a
sales call is they say hello build
rapport talk for 30 minutes see that
there's time that's running out and then
realize they have to pitch right and so
then they motor mouth and then just
awkwardly ask right and it is to your
point about it seeming icky right or
sucking
um is that it's not normal human
communication and you're not providing
value to the other person
and so if giving Clarity to someone on a
decision is tremendous value
and so if you can sell in a way that
clarifies a decision my objective always
when I teach sales the goal is not to
get the person to buy the goal is to get
the person to decide
and I believe that people don't decide
for only three reasons and this comes
from Albert Ellis this is not me but
people blame
all the woes of their lives on
circumstances
other people
and then ultimately themselves
and so when we're overcoming obstacles
in a sale we have to make sure that we
are accounting for the circumstances
which is taking away time as a reason
they can't do it taking away money is a
reason they can't do it taking away
particular aspects of the product
there's a reason they can't do it we
have to make sure that they don't cast
their power to other people and saying I
can't make this decision someone else
has to make it and then finally when
they're with themselves they want to
avoid the decision they want to delay it
they want to not make it I'm not going
to think about it right and so the idea
is that I believe that if you sell
properly you can talk to an empowered
person and you have to basically sift
through the crap that they're telling
themselves about why they can't decide
why they have to talk to their husband
why the circumstance of their situation
matter
and so I think that if you can do that
and communicate that in a conversation
you are you have made someone feel
powerful and you've given them the tools
to make a decision and then in making
that decision they take a step towards
the life they want to have and so if you
can structure a conversation that way
it's not icky it's value additive and
then ultimately you do make more money
but you're not focused on that because
you're focusing on helping them make the
call
and if we can do that you can sell
whatever you want
and I think that's like that's what I
try and structure and that's why I'm so
excited for the sales book when it
finally comes out but most of it's clear
communication when I listen to sales
calls because I still kind of do it
because I like it
um it's like therapeutic you know what I
mean
um there's so much there's so much waste
there's so there's no there no people
aren't direct it's like why are we here
you and someone's like I just want to
get more information that's an obstacle
no you didn't you're not here because
you want more information you're here
because you're suffering from a problem
you don't just hop on sales calls all
day to get information no you're trying
to solve something right what are you
trying to solve what are you in pain
from got it so let me make sure I
understand this label the problem right
so it's like a lot of people just don't
know how to talk and they just make face
noise at each other and no one's
listening and no one's talking they ping
pong back and forth no one actually is
listening yeah they're not communicating
at all right they say a statement I mean
someone says I'd literally just reviewed
a sales call yesterday
guy says uh I'm not sure now's a good
time salesman then responds with uh well
you know I'm not sure if if you're a
good fit if you're if you're not sure
because it just goes off on this weird
tangent and then there's a pause and the
guy just asked another question no
communication happened it was like I
have a question you just said a bunch of
words and I guess it's normal for me to
say something else now and so then he
just asked another question right and so
it's clear like what and then normally
when you overcome these sorry I could
talk about this forever but like when
you overcome these obstacles with
somebody's like I don't have time right
I'll just give you a simple