Kind: captions
Language: en
your life doesn't end up an accident
your life
is a series of actions that you initiate
or donation
really thinking through and using the
power of thought of what you want what
do you want to be like what are the
skills you want to deliver what's the
service you want to offer to the world
all in
you you have to be all in and it's the
hardest thing to do because if it fails
then you can feel like a failure i went
all in with my identity i said i am
going to be
a great writer
and i am going to be one of the greatest
online trainers there ever was
[Music]
how are you using your mind today to
either make yourself feel great or not i
posted on instagram this morning i said
listen your destiny is ultimately
controlled too by a decision you already
made this morning everyone watching this
already made a decision this morning
this morning they made it a
life-changing huge decision this morning
and that is either
i'm to get up
enter the world with no intention
go through the motions to hopefully get
by or survive or
i am going to get clear in this morning
about what i want what i'm going after
who i'm going to be how i'm going to
serve and whether or not i'm going to be
excellent and extraordinary
or not
and the problem is most people never
make that conscious decision
so and so i was learning early on make
the conscious decision about who you
want to be each day
stay congruent with that
and that was
you know for me a kid who's just going
through the motions all of a sudden
going oh
who do i want to be what do i want my
relationships to be like that was really
important
and then i started setting personal
challenges every month at the beginning
of each month i did this whole thing
where i holistically evaluate my life on
the first of every month and it's like
these 10 different categories of my life
you know from emotional to relational to
financial to um you know career mission
objectives all these things i go down
that uh on the first month just kind of
a holistic viewpoint in my life and then
i set a personal challenge and a
professional challenge
and
i do that every month every sunday i
revisit my progress
every sunday for 23 years
so it's not like i'm just you know
one day ended up in a happy life it was
like that a level of self-evaluation
that most people avoid
until their birthday or new year's i do
it every sunday and every first of the
month and i don't ever miss
and i think that has helped me kind of
know what my thing is because i don't
think i'm
super special it's like what i help
people do
and you know this is chapter one of high
performance habits right seek clarity
the only reason i get to work with all
these people you mentioned is because
they're at a new level in their life
where they're going what is it now for
me
and i help them kind of figure that out
like what is it now for you about how
you want to define yourself
what types of relationships you want and
how deep you want to go
what is it that you want to develop as a
skill sets
and what is the specific service you
want to provide
and i just work them through that
because i've been working through that
myself
the nice thing about self-awareness is
the human brain has an incredible
capacity for guilt
and most people unconsciously let that
roll over them and kick their butt and
make a horrible life i love guilt guilt
is a tool guilt is a weapon guilt does
not have to be a bad thing it's not like
i perpetuate but i'm like i love that i
feel bad when i don't do a good job
most people hate that about themselves i
love that feeling i'm like
i didn't do a good job there next time i
will
so some people
guilt is discouragement
other people it's a signal for learning
to me guilt is a signal for learning it
is the body and the brain the spirit
knowing what is right knowing what is
wrong knowing what's great knowing
what's mediocre and it's saying hey do a
little better now if it's translated
into a negative impulse then some people
call it guilt but i'm like i'm totally
cool with those i you know i think it's
good that we feel bad
when we do something that is below our
standard or
that's not right because that impulse to
go i want to do that better and that's
where people fail in life
oh well my instagram's not like hers or
you know i'm not as famous as him you
know we have all these comparisons that
cause us cortisol or anxiety that shut
us down and then we stop performing our
best
because we're trying to follow somebody
versus just go do our thing so i
identified that's oh that's where i'm at
okay what's that causing that's causing
that cortisol adrenal drip that i don't
want right now
so what do i need to do in the fastest
ways to get yourself back
is usually you know breath
and movement so we teach
teachers program high performance
academy it's like one of the crowd
favorites on day three uh you have 2 000
people there and about 40 percent of the
audience is international
so day three their jet lag is just
whooping them right and i always
predictable i know exactly about but one
in the afternoon day three they start
bonking so i do this
breath scaling thing where i teach them
to breathe in through their nose like
they're bringing breathing in the ocean
like
and then breathe out
okay and that's kind of the top level so
we just start breathing normal and it
gets more and more and more and more and
more and more intense until you're at
the top and just literally
i sustain that for like 60 seconds and
what it is it's like a hit like oxygen
you know like like cocaine to the brain
for oxygen and when it's also
light-headed or anything no because i've
done it so much right i don't i don't
push myself to get light-headed i push
myself to fully oxygenate the body but
what you do as soon as you do that and
the most important thing is for those
who are going to try this at home you
scale up to it then you scale down to
find your regular breath again and you
need to not be standing there with your
knees locked and if you ever feel dizzy
sit down so but i do that and all this
you feel an incredible amount of energy
in your body your mind just goes super
sharp
and the added benefit of that much
oxygen oxygen intake lowers cortisol
that's interesting right we know from
meditative practices when we deep
breathe we tend to lower cortisol or
lower that sense of anxiety even if we
don't get the full mechanism of the
hormone release then all of a sudden
it's like ah i'm in my zone i'm ready to
go then i do full body chi gong
it's like a qigong a cupping activity in
qigong is basically like you are
you're padding
up one inch at a time on different parts
of your body like this all over so your
arms your legs your back
what that's doing is opening the
meridians in your body and now my body
my mind's open my body's fully ready to
serve and now it's like let's get it
i'm excited because now it's just like i
identified the source of the anxiety got
rid of it took care of the mechanism of
the body that was also making me feel
like crap and then it's then it's
exciting i mean people see me on this
big stage and they think oh or they see
you and they think oh well he must
always be
in the perfect state or the perfect
energy and he's always going to be great
and
that's not true
you know great athletes great performers
an executive walk in an important
meeting
you got to go deal with your kid who's
struggling with math when we walk in
those situations
we have to set intention
for what we want to do in that situation
and we have to release tension and so
the practices and high performance
habits that was the second big finding
that we had was high performers are
generating the energy
and that means the mental emotional
physical energy that they feel is
necessary to serve with excellence in a
certain situation like they're so
conscious of it
and i know that's common sense for
people but it's not always common
practice
yeah you know it's like a lot of people
just wander into that situation and i'm
i'm the guy says you know what get more
intentional release the tension you have
walk in as your highest self
because that's something you'll never
regret what's up everybody tom billy
here and i have a question for you at
the start of this year you likely set
some goals for yourself and i want to
know how those are going most people
give up on their goals and dreams by
february but i have some good news
if you're not on target to succeed at
the things that you want to achieve this
year it's not too late and trust me when
i say you are not alone
everyone gets stuck and loses momentum
towards their goals at some point myself
included if you know what you're doing
and you're willing to take massive
action though you can get back on track
the trick is not to think about being
stuck as a problem with your motivation
or to interpret your lack of results
that you're getting as a sign that
you're not smart enough the trick is to
recognize that the game that you're
playing is a game of neurochemistry it's
about managing the way that you think
about yourself and framing things in the
right way if you use your brain more
effectively repeat things that empower
you you can actually find ways to solve
problems faster
create positive habits and behaviors
that you know are going to help you
reach your goal
i want you to take massive action right
now so i've pulled a workshop from
impact theory university called the six
steps to getting unstuck and i want you
to watch it right now it's going to help
you get back on track with your goals
and make the rest of this year your most
successful ever to watch it go to
unstuck class.com
and register for access i'll walk you
through the same process that i use to
get through obstacles and make fast
progress towards my goals whenever
something slows down alright guys enjoy
this and be legendary take care
number one what we're really talking
about here is contemplation
really thinking through and using the
power of thought what you want what do
you want to be like what are the skills
you want to deliver what's the service
you want to offer to the world number
two the consistency of action
to not only create that in your own body
in your own mind but create that start
creating that result in the world that's
really important number three is courage
because it takes courage to put yourself
out there and try to get a little better
like it was even just laying in bed
visualizing myself doing something on
stage that was way outside my boundaries
of like comfort like walk across the
stage really fast like walk down the
audience and give high fives and you
know say something strong or you know
admit something or share something
vulnerable like that's courage that's
scary but the other thing is i think
that you and i have always had which
sometimes is undervalued is we also had
community
we had
other people right you had lisa
you know i had denise
we had people in our industry or our
peer set who we
looked up to or who we could learn from
or we could be like this sucks this is
hard
and for me coming back to your emotional
element
that has been everything for me
community having people in my life who i
can you know when i'm on
the road for x amount of time or i'm
dealing with a super hard client or
we're rolling out a leadership program
to a fortune 50 company or you know i'm
doing my first you know major deal with
oprah winfrey network and i don't know
what to do
i'm so incredibly fast
of asking people what to do
i'm also incredibly fast in sharing how
i feel about it
being like oh you know i feel really
awkward about this
uh you know i'm i'm unsure you know i'm
having a lot of self-doubt how would you
deal with it like i'm somebody who
expresses his emotions all the time my
frigging tagline is bring the joy like
everybody knows that why because i want
to make sure people know you're we're
going to create this energy because
emotion is not something you have it is
something you generate
emotion can be an impulse
but feelings is our interpretations of
those impulse over a period of time
i think those who learn to endure
hardship struggle challenge difficulty
pain grief vulnerability failure
um regret
that's one side of that coin
if you learn to do that but you also
know on the other side
learn to allow
joy fulfillment satisfaction you have to
first allow it because what most people
do is
if on the other side of the coin it's
super etched in
what happens is even when that impulse
comes up i like this oh no i'm not
supposed to like this so you have a lot
of people who are extremely talented
at the top levels who they do endure the
pain and they really like the pain and
they will allow that all the day long
they'll allow that now because they'll
tell their brain
this is what's expected
but they also don't let themselves feel
good
when feeling good is there
this is a real big problem i mean if you
study like psychosis a lot of people who
really struggle with addictions
um eating disorders are super common who
even when they feel that sense of
self-love or self-acceptance i'm not
supposed to feel that no you really
there is an element
to personal development where you have
to allow the good feelings and not push
them away because it's like i should i
don't deserve to feel that because a
huge part of the world is telling
themselves i don't yet deserve to feel
happy
even though happiness comes up i
shouldn't feel that yet i'm going to
keep striving it's not until i get the
next two million then i'll let myself
feel happy even though they had that
good monday
and so you have a lot of people who are
striving in difficulty
who also have not taught themselves the
emotional side
of what is called
the most important movement in the
history of the world in psychology
called positive psychology kicked off by
marty seligman a good friend of mine
michelle you sent me high without that
work of saying no no we also have to
allow ourselves
and teach ourselves to flourish feel
satisfaction feel joy so i'm 100 with
you and i'm like the rule is that's one
side of the coin and the other rule is
make sure you teach yourself
to generate the positive emotions
because what happens is if you don't
teach yourself to generate the positive
emotions as well
then what ends up happening is you burn
out or
you become a cliche of the person who
had it all
and never felt fulfilled
and you know our mutual friend tony
robbins says that's ultimate failure
to succeed succeed to succeed but never
feel
like a success never feel like you've
had it like i'm vitally aware that you
know
i could get on a plane and not survive
i'm vitally aware that tomorrow might
not be here for me
i don't want to
grit and hustled out and never feel the
joys of life
that satisfaction that pleasure of you
know what gosh good for you you're
trying hard brendan today sucked you
failed today brennan
but you're doing a good job kid stay in
the game feel some satisfaction that you
tried feel some fulfillment of that you
know um because what i learned from high
performers this is not just brennan's
personal opinion i've done this for 16
years at the highest levels
and i see it over and over it's usually
when i get the call it's like well i
just sold my company for you know
hundreds of millions and i
crap i'm miserable
and i ask when someone says i can't
figure out brandon you know everyone
says i should be happy i'm not i don't
know what's going on and they're edgy as
hell about like i have i mean jeez look
at the house look at the girl look at
the cars look at the thing i got it all
i'm freaking out man i don't know why i
i did it all and i said well did you
ever teach yourself to be happy along
the way
and they never did that work
all in
you you have to be all in and it's the
hardest thing to do because if it fails
then you can feel like a failure um you
know
i think of this idea of performance
necessity um two stories kind of come to
mind one is i was working with an
olympic gold medalist sprinter
and we're in the tunnel and we're going
out and he's talking about the
competition and we get out to the blocks
and i said
uh he was really worried about the
competition i said well how do you even
gauge like who who who's going to win
you know
in
in his particular race people are
winning but by you know 1 100th of a
second tenths of a seconds i mean these
are really close sprints and i said well
how how do you know i said who would you
even bet on
and he says
you know i would
bet on the guy
who gets down at the blocks
gets himself settled looks at the finish
line then says
i gotta do this
for my mom
and i was like oh
that's good his performance necessity in
that is
it's necessary for him to win that race
for his mom
um i think of
you know when i started my career and i
really decided to go all in
with writing and online training um this
is like 2000 probably six
uh i'd gone broke completely bankrupt
and failed i left my corporate job i had
this cushy kind of corporate job as a
consultant good job um left it to write
and i didn't know how to make it as a
writer i want to do seminars workshops
didn't know how to do that so i was
pretty much a hot mess ran out of money
um i got nothing to my name
nothing kind of no positive prospects no
one's calling me except the guys who
want the money
and um
one night i'm riding and the apartment
was so small on the bed i had
uh
my bills my vision boards all my
research
all my journals like the bed was
basically the desk the extended desk
and my lady comes in denise and
she
walks past me but she sees i'm like
trying to write she doesn't want to
disturb me she goes she
crawls under
the covers of the bed
and i'm just typing kind of casually
typing away
and i look over
and i see my woman
sleeping under my bills
and it was just like
you know
because none of us want to see our you
know
our family suffer because we are
not performing sure
and um
i was just like
i gotta figure this out and i'm telling
you i wrote more that night than any
night in my entire life next day i wrote
more than ever that bird's life scolding
ticket which became a bestseller and in
you know 18 months later because i was
like i'm going to figure out this online
thing i'm going throughout marketing i'm
going to figure out how to teach i'm
going to how to train and get paid for
it because i've never really been paid
for those things i said i'm going to
figure out this industry and i'm going
to make it 18 months later after her
crawling under the bills i made 4.6
million dollars jesus online
total transformation people like how did
you do it i'm like she gave me she was
my necessity i was not going to let my
woman be in that situation
and she believed in me she supported me
she married me
and uh you know but that was she was my
drive
and the second part was i went all in
with my identity i said i am going to be
a great writer and i am going to be one
of the greatest online trainers there
ever was
you know as you said in the intro now
we've graduated over two million people
have taken our online courses video
series now
i don't think it would have happened if
i hadn't had the guts
and maybe
the no other choice
to say this is who i'm going to be
and i'm going to build into that
and it's necessary for me to become that
person
so let's go and what does that process
of skill acquisition look like yeah uh
it first and foremost starts with
identifying um i wouldn't even start
with the skill i would start with the
self
you know in the chapter on seeking
clarity we say it's like what we found
for high performers they've identified
these four things they're they're more
intentional in these four areas number
one is high performers are consistently
seeking clarity
who do i want to be
and
i know a lot of people do that when they
turn 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 and
people do that at new year's but high
performers are doing that like
in every situation like before i when i
walked down the stairs i was like who do
i want to be in this interview
right now with my friend tom like i want
to do a good job for him you know
i made that performance necessity on
myself like i want to do a good job so i
was like well i want to be present i
want to be enthusiastic i want to be
bold like i want to be those things
high performers are constantly seeking
clarity about how they want to interact
with other people
and i think a big
development growth point for people is
determining
how do i really want to treat people
when they don't agree with me
or when they're hating on me
or when they're discounting me or
they're being mean to me or we're in a
fight
because i think some of those are the
greatest growth areas of our life
and then high performers are very clear
about the critical skills they must
develop in order to succeed in their
space
you know they they identify
usually we found they usually know three
to five current skills they're working
on so another example for me was video
i was very awkward and uncomfortable in
front of video
i know the feeling right yeah
right
but you said okay if i'm gonna make an
impact i'd better figure that out yep
i'd better figure that out and so you go
to work you you put in the miles you you
try because
learning is the ultimate lever
to leveling up
right you actually have a math equation
if i may which i think is where you're
headed but i loved this equation so much
passion plus growth plus contribution
equals personal satisfaction yeah
yeah it's like
those all coming together a lot of
people have never experienced
and it's hard for you and i'd say that's
personal development guys
but it's true there's a lot of people
who've never had those three completely
line up so they're not satisfied even
with
their job or their career or their life
because the passion isn't there
even if the passions are they don't feel
like they're growing but everybody i
talk to do you remember that first
personal development book you read
do you remember that first time you
wrote tons of notes about what you
wanted your life to be about do you
remember that first time you watched a
movie inspired you to go change there
was fire there
because that learning
it opened up your mind to a new level of
existence for you
and soon as you saw it you were like oh
ambition hits your heart
and now if you can match it with
contribution and you can see
how
that passion or that fire or that
learning or that growth all aligns to
some type of impact
now you're getting me fired up because
now i can see the outcome
of all the work a lot of people don't do
the work because they don't believe the
outcome
that's interesting you know if and
psychologists talk about the power of
expectancy um when we talk about
motivation there's only two things that
spark motivation one is ambition
and that is i want more
of or i want a greater depth of right i
want a greater depth of
connection with my lady that's ambition
where i want a better meditative
practice that's ambition all right i
want to be better at my job that's
ambition so it starts with ambition but
ambition if it's not coupled with what
they call expectancy in psychology
you're screwed expectancy says i believe
that i can figure that out i believe
that i can achieve that i believe that
that is possible for me
because if we don't believe it's
possible for me you can show them all
the results from a thousand people right
how many people say i want to get in
great shape
you know i'm
tom i'm a new ketosis i'm doing the
ketosis thing man and they they hop on
your instagram and they see they see the
cuts they see the changes they see the
transformations but they don't believe
it's possible for them
so they don't try
expectancy is their problem you gotta
bust through the beliefs to get them to
understand that it is possible for them
not for other people for them
and if you can open that gate for
somebody
and
often that's only achieved through
learning
then you get somebody who starts really
moving ahead forward
most people
are half hearted half interested half
engaged in their actual dream and actual
ambition because they either fear it or
they feel insecure or incapable
and teaching people
i literally just had this conversation
with one of the most successful people
in literally the like the world in the
top .01 category of revenue is
has not fully expressed and owned their
ambition
instead people apologize for their
ambition
hide their ambition you have to learn to
own your ambition speak of the ambition
chase the ambition drive the ambition
and lead the ambition it is a full both
allowance back to the world allowance of
the ambition and an active generation of
that ambition the further you are from
your ambitions the more miserable you
are
and most people don't even look at their
goals every day so no wonder we have a
world that says i'm disconnected
it's like no wake up like i asked people
did you look at your goals today that's
the simplest that's
literally
personal development 101 is have goals
look at them
most people do not do that
i want you to just not go i want you to
deeply visualize feel sense and talk
about your ambitions way more like way
more like i love that about you you're
like i'm going to build a frigging
disney sense
and everybody around you knows it
you know how rare that is it's one
reason i love you i people who are
scared to communicate about their
ambitions are cheating themselves in the
world from supporting them i coached an
olympian i love this it's in hype from
what's happened i wrote really briefly
about it
but
she had won several world records
and world championships but never
a medal
and this was a big goal for her and then
she did and i was working with her and
then afterwards we have this
conversation i said
what made the difference she says you
know what one day
it wasn't training it wasn't nutrition
it wasn't diet it wasn't everything we
talked about she was one day
i just
i just started shouting from the
rooftops that i wanted to win a gold
medal i started telling everybody around
me and she had this great she's when you
shout from the rooftop what you want
two things happen one the village idiots
come out and judge you
all the village idiots she says but also
the village leaders come out and go
see this let's let's set this person up
she said all of a sudden the right
coaches the the right dietitians the
right former gold medalist the right
teammates started came out and all of a
sudden she had a community who were
galvanizing behind this vision and
ambition she had that she'd never
achieved even though nothing changed in
her physical body it was like
she communicated the ambition
the tribe arrived the goal was achieved
complete game changer so allowing the
ambition shouting from the rooftop
that's the mindset that is a behavior
change that takes
real personal power
real courage real vulnerability whatever
you want to call it but most people
don't do it that's number one number two
you have to have
daily intention and habit tracking
you you you can't leave your personal
development to randomness
and what most people do
they leave their personal growth to
randomness and so they're always in a
land of mediocrity
you have to have that morning routine
and that evening routine
of evaluating where you are and where
you want to go and asking the hard
questions of what is it about me that's
not moving forward what is it about me
that i need to accept love care for take
care of do a better job with how do i
treat other people so i can get ahead
faster what do i need to focus on if you
don't do that on a daily basis
you're going through the motions and
even if you're successful imagine how
much more successful you would be
if you were way more intentional and you
actually tracked your habits this is why
we developed the high performance
planner because
i i wanted it i was like i know how easy
it is to go through a day you hustle all
day and you crash at the end of the day
i know the hundred hour work weeks i
know how that feels i know what that's
about but if you're doing all that and
you're
not aware
that leads to a nightmare
that leads to you take the wrong path
and you're hustling down the wrong path
you lean the ladder against the wrong
building you do the wrong thing
the awareness on the daily
is something people need to build into a
routine and physicalize like write not a
note on your phone
journal workbook planner something that
you actually connect pen to paper you
think through and if we can get you
ambition clarified ambition speak the
ambition own the ambition and you're
actually intentional in tracking each
day you win this game
very well said yeah
where can people find out more about you
uh listen to the brendan show
my podcast the brennan show because uh
i'm i'm
really excited because we we've
basically taken some of the best i have
of all my online courses i got 28 online
personal development and professional
development courses we take little clips
of those best courses we take clips of
my live cast that people pay for that
they don't get to see we put that on the
branded show i'm really proud of that
podcast right now because the best of
stuff is in there um
and then just on instagram
on the gram man just sharing my things
but my favorite place for people
to meet me
is in your local bookstore
go look for the bees last name is
burchard find those six books pick up
one
and if you don't like it use it as a
doorstop or like a you know table
leveler but um
my
first and greatest passion is people why
am i i'm at a party and people like
introduce like if we're somewhere like
how do i introduce you brandon say i'm a
writer i love writing books wow books
saved my life yeah i hear that for sure
i highly encourage you to go to the b
section in the bookstore and pick up all
six of the books they really are
extraordinary the deeper you dive into
his world the more you're gonna get out
of it he is one of the rare people that
the more i get to know him the more i
like him the more i'm affected by him uh
so i hope that you will avail yourself
of all the amazing stuff that he makes
available all right if you haven't
already be sure to subscribe and until
next time my friends be legendary take
care