Kind: captions
Language: en
[Music]
what we're going to talk about today is
how to build your mindset so that you
really are unbreakable you really can't
be stopped by the things that normally
overwhelm people and shut them down and
through this entire class we're going to
break it into the things that are going
to hold you back why most people fail
and the exact things you need to do to
get ahead if you don't know my name is
tom bilyeu i'm the co-founder of impact
theory and the co-founder of billion
dollar company quest nutrition and i
myself the thing that i had to overcome
in my life is exactly what we're gonna
learn in this class which is i started
out emotionally weak i started out
insecure afraid i am not a born
entrepreneur i had to learn all of this
stuff through the school of hard knocks
at a time before the [ __ ] internet it
was a lot harder back then carol dweck
had not written her seminal book mindset
and so i literally had to fall on my
face over and over and over to figure
this stuff out but i ultimately did
figure it out and i took myself from
scrounging in my couch cushions to find
enough change to put gas in my car
feeling like i was never going to be
smart enough to succeed to building a
company building multiple companies
and creating the kind of emotional and
financial success in my life that i'd
always dreamed about and what i want to
do is walk you through the ultra
concrete steps that i went through the
changes that i had to make to truly
become unstoppable so that's what this
is all about now i want to define
unstoppable it's a cool headline that
led you this far but the notion for it
to really be usable we're gonna have to
pull it out of the ether and bring it
right back down to life now here's the
truth life is [ __ ] hard that is just
a truth but you have a choice all of us
have a choice whether we're going to be
weak or we're going to be strong and one
of the things that i had to learn in my
life is that choice is mine it is nobody
else's and that if i was going to make a
choice to be strong that i was going to
have to take complete ownership of my
life i was gonna have to hold myself to
a standard and
this may be the most important i
couldn't tolerate weakness in my life
and look i'm not saying that hardships
don't befall people i'm not even saying
that some of you watching this the deck
is stacked against you so viciously it
is clearly not fair
but i will ask this question and now
what
if life is inordinately stacked against
you for whatever reason bad genetics bad
parenting grow up in the wrong
neighborhood whatever the case may be
for whatever reason the deck is stacked
against you and now what what are you
going to do about it the only thing you
can really do is
get [ __ ] strong toughen up carry
whatever burden you have and show people
that you can do anything you set your
mind to but to do that you've got to
take responsibility for becoming great
and greatness is not some [ __ ]
behind the sky thing it's a set of
[ __ ] skills that lets you climb up
the competency hierarchy to actually get
better to outperform people and to do
what the ancient greeks called techne to
build a set of skills that mean
something to you for whatever reason
that you've worked your ass off to
acquire that allow you to serve not only
yourself but to serve other people
all right in life
there are two ways to lose way number
one is to be weak to lack grit to be
emotionally unstable to be stubborn
that's where a lot of people fall in
their face they have these [ __ ] ideas
in their head and they're constantly
looking for things to affirm that
instead of doing what they need to do
which is constantly looking for ways
that you're wrong and once you start
seeking out ways you're wrong because
like i've gotten this far in life being
wrong what happens if i stop being
stubborn i start looking for ways that i
can learn more that i can get rid of old
ideas that aren't working for me and
really move forward and the thing that i
think is probably the most foundational
they have a fixed mindset now what is a
fixed mindset it means that you believe
your talent and intelligence are in-born
traits you're born with it and that's it
and life is about making the best of
that and we're going to debunk the [ __ ]
out of that the second way that things
can go wrong is they're chasing the
wrong thing i'm telling you right now
the punch line to life is not success
it's not fame it's not money it's not
accolades it is very simple it's brain
chemistry aka fulfillment the only thing
that really matters at the end of the
day is how you feel about yourself when
you are by yourself and this class is
really going to be about building in
those things that make you feel
confident and secure in who you are
impervious to the slings and arrows that
come from other people
and that really is something that you
can do but it's going to take a lot of
earning credibility with yourself
putting in the work to really become
extraordinary but we're going to walk
through the step-by-steps of how you do
that now what's the cost of weakness as
somebody who spent year decades of my
life much to my dismay um accepting
weakness in my life being very okay with
performing below my standard constantly
asking myself what is the least i need
to do uh to avoid getting in trouble
and the cost of that is a loss of
self-respect or just never building
self-respect in the first place
certainly you're not going to make any
progress in life you end up leading in
this downward spiral because weak people
are bitter people because they feel like
they're being taken advantage of they're
not taking ownership in their life
they're putting the blame on other
people and because of that they start to
get pissed they have some really [ __ ]
dark fantasies and i'm going to imagine
that many of you are like me and in my
weekdays man i used to think about just
bad [ __ ] happening to other people the
people that i imagined were the people
that were holding me down when in truth
what was happening is i wasn't standing
up for myself and what i was really
pissed about was that or maybe not even
that i really was pissed at the other
people but what was stopping me from
making progress what was focusing me on
vengeance and wanting to see other
people go down in flames was that i
didn't believe that i could rise up and
because i didn't believe i could rise up
the only thing i could think about was
tearing other people down
we're gonna break you out of that all
right what's the cost of strength
eternal vigilance you always have to be
on the lookout it's so easy to slide
back into a fixed mindset it's so easy
to get angry or bitter or to look at
somebody else and how much easier we
perceive them as having it especially in
[ __ ] instagram or facebook where
you're seeing people putting their
highlight reel and you think [ __ ] them
like i want some of that in my life it's
not fair and once you find yourself
there you have to catch yourself every
[ __ ] time you've got to get out of
that pattern you've got to break those
notions of one comparing yourself to
other people which comparison is the
thief of joy
and you've got to realize you've got to
take ownership if you want the same
result somebody else is getting you've
got to build the same skill set and that
brings us to clarity what do you want
if you want to be strong you're going to
have to know exactly where you're trying
to get to and you've got to accumulate
the skills necessary to take you there
and to do that it's all going to take a
lot of hard [ __ ] work all right
i told you a little bit about my
backstory but i'll go into a tiny bit
more detail
when i went to film school college
i did really well in the beginning and i
really thought that i was naturally
talented and i was so
stoked and i thought i was one of only
four people selected to do a senior
thesis in a school where you're more
likely to get into harvard law than you
already get into this school so i
thought it was hot [ __ ] i got into the
school everyone told me i'd never get in
i got in and then on top of that
everyone's like well you got in but
you're never going to direct your senior
thesis and i got selected to do that as
well so i thought i was going to kill it
on the senior thesis i was going to
graduate get my three picture deal in
hollywood and my life was gonna be set
and then i completely [ __ ] up my
senior thesis film and realized one cold
hard fact
i wasn't talented
now if i'd had a growth mindset and
realize i just wasn't talented yet and i
could build those skills then everything
would have been would have been fine but
the reality was i didn't realize that i
get into this downward spiral i start
sliding towards depression i end up
getting fired from a stupid job i called
myself the king of remedial jobs at that
time i was having trouble paying my
bills at once i was on unemployment for
a while i couldn't pay my student loans
i mean it was it was gnarly and i didn't
know how to get out of that and i ended
up
being able to completely turn my life
around but i wasn't able to do that
until i took full and complete ownership
and realized one of the most important
things when you think about change which
is that the human animal is the ultimate
adaptation machine we are literally
designed to change we are designed from
the ground up to adapt to stressors
directed stresses we have to decide in
what way we want to change but we can
change in any way that we want and i
ended up after going through that whole
process being somebody who was not only
capable of lifting themselves up but i
ended up running a production line in a
manufacturing company that i helped
found that went from nothing to being
number two on the inc 500 list and on
the production line there were both
crips and bloods and able to help keep
the peace keep that going and running
smoothly because i had taken myself from
that broken scared insecure kid who
didn't think that he could get better to
realizing that i could own myself that i
could be confident that i could
develop the skill set both leadership
skills soft skills hard skills and then
i could go in there and i could command
that kind of respect in fact a better
way to say it i earned their respect by
working harder than anybody else by
having a deeper set of skills and by
empowering them and lifting them up all
with the things that i'm going to be
walking you through in this class
now the way that you are in respect with
yourself and others is through [ __ ]
performance so i'm now going to walk you
through the concrete steps that you're
going to get to that level of
performance step number one you have to
own your life if you haven't heard of
the notion of extreme ownership i highly
encourage you to read the book by the
same name by jaco willink and leif babin
and the punch line of all of it is
if you're blaming other people for the
state of your life you are [ __ ] my
friend because you're pointing at the
wrong person you're looking in the wrong
place why not because you won't be
victimized you will be victimized in
your life unfair [ __ ] is going to happen
to you bad breaks are going to come your
way things that shouldn't be that
difficult are that difficult there may
be systematic injustice against you
but if you don't believe to the core of
your being in cause and effect you're
never going to be able to set yourself
free the whole idea behind extreme
ownership is not to victim blame or to
say anything harsh or negative about you
it is simply to remind you
that when you take ownership when you're
not looking to deflect blame you go into
a proactive
solution-oriented mindset and you start
asking
what could i have done differently to
get a different
result that's it what could i do
differently that will get me a different
result once you put yourself in that
frame all the time always and forever
over and over and over not only do you
earn people's respect because you're
never looking to blame somebody else
you're always asking yourself what did i
do
to end up here how did i put myself in
the situation even if the response from
the outside world is unjust unfair all
of that but you're looking at it and
you're not asking oh i want this to
change i want it to be different woe is
me i'm a [ __ ] victim which is passive
which is giving up your power you retain
your power you say i believe in cause
and effect i can do something different
and i can get a different effect
when you own that then you are able to
make progress and the other thing that
you remember is the human adaptation
response is the way i like to think of
it is it's a response to adapt or die
you're putting your body and your mind
under directed stress meaning it's
disciplined practice you're really
looking at what what do my goals demand
where am i trying to get to we're going
to talk more about clarity in a minute
but where do i want to get to what's the
skill set gap that i have to cross and
then how do i actually be
how do i actually practice those things
how do i put myself in that very
specific stress environment where i'm
getting to the edge of my abilities i'm
going a little bit beyond and then i get
a little bit stronger i'm able to do a
little bit more i push myself into those
areas and it's not about just doing what
you're good at this is the thing that
drives me crazy when people give that
advice
it is not
just about doing what you're good at
it's about figuring out what do i need
to get good at in order to achieve my
goal and then going into the areas via
practice where you are weak breaking
those down and saying i'm going to need
to get good at this thing which i may
not be naturally good at but i'm going
to have to practice and get good at that
thing
and once you understand the way the
mechanisms of brain plasticity and the
way that your brain is trying to rewire
itself to optimize for the thing that
you repeat so when you go in and you
start practicing and you're pushing
outside of your comfort zone you're
doing it over and over and over your
brain reorganizes itself and you can
quite literally
change the form
and function of your brain in order to
accommodate the new skill that you're
trying to acquire it's what i call the
only belief that matters the fact that
as you put your your time and energy
into doing something into getting good
at it that you will be rewarded your
energies and efforts will be rewarded
with a new set of skills that have
utility you can deploy that utility to
be able to do different [ __ ] so the
easiest way to think about it is to use
the body as an analogy i think everybody
agrees if you go into a gym and you lift
weights and you lift them to failure and
you're pushing yourself to lift things
that are a little bit heavy they're a
little bit outside your range you can't
do it three times maybe you can only do
it once or twice you go the next time oh
you could only do it once before but now
you can do it twice and then you can do
it three times and then you can do a
heavier weight for once and then that
one's at three times and then all of a
sudden the one you could only do once a
while ago you're now doing for 15 reps
and you get bigger and you get stronger
people get it when it comes to the body
but a very similar process
is happening in the mind when you go to
learn new skills and if you believe in
that which you don't have to take my
word for it you can go look up brain
plasticity it's [ __ ] real this is not
debated anymore this was highly debated
back in the 90s nobody's debating this
[ __ ] anymore brain plasticity is real
you can learn new things you do create
new brain cells at any age literally
until the day you die
so once you understand once you take
ownership once you start looking at
skill acquisition once you're doing uh
you're forcing yourself into that
adaptation response you're putting
directed stress on your abilities then
you're going to be able to expand your
abilities hey everybody tom here quick
question are you enjoying today's
episode certainly hope so if you are
here's the deal today's class is a
preview of a workshop that i gave from
impact theory university called how to
own your life over the last few months
and years i have to imagine all of us
have been given a lot of valid reasons
to stop chasing our goals and dreams and
give up ownership of our future it's a
pretty weird time but like i said at the
start of this workshop life is brutally
tough and you're going to be tested over
and over again the lessons and tactics
you're learning right now are going to
be needed now more than ever in this
free preview here i'm giving you the
first five strategies to truly take
ownership of your life and if you want
to get free access to the second half of
this workshop you can register to watch
part two at ownyourlife.impacttheory.com
or just click the link in the
description when you do i'll also send
you the worksheet that accompanies this
class which includes action items and
summaries of everything we're covering
here again your link is
ownyourlife.impacttheory.com go register
now then come back here and finish this
episode all right let's get back to it
all right step number two learn to
create new values this is where people
fall down this is the thing that i don't
think anybody is talking about which is
that your value system is malleable now
the easiest way to explain this is to
talk about how south korean airlines
used to be the used to have the worst
safety record in all the airlines there
was this really cool documentary um that
was done called something like fox tango
charlie or something it's three call
signs anyway i need to remember this so
i can [ __ ] just tell people what it
is but be very easy for you to find and
in that documentary they reenact like a
play the black box recording of some of
the most famous airline disasters in
history and one of them is from south
korean airlines and
the way that the co-pilot who could tell
that they were about to crash into a
mountainside was he was so afraid to
break cultural protocol didn't want to
push too hard didn't want to be
disrespectful and so literally let them
crash into a mountainside because he
didn't want to offend the pilot who kept
saying no everything is fine and when i
was watching that i was like are you out
of your [ __ ] mind i'd be freaking out
i would grab the sticks if i had to and
i thought but i'm not foolish enough to
think that if i were raised in that
environment that i wouldn't have that
same value structure where hierarchy
means everything respecting your elders
means everything and so the only way
that they were able to break down that
value system was in the cockpit and this
completely reversed their safety record
in the cockpit they were only allowed to
speak english
they had to refer to each other by their
first names and there was a written
protocol for how you can interrupt them
and tell a pilot that they're wrong and
that they're making a mistake and i
thought that's so interesting they're
doing everything they can with the
different language with the first names
to get them out of that traditional
value system shake them out and let them
know there's a different value structure
when you're inside a plane
now it's really that's always really
interesting to me because we have here
at impact theory a south korean person
who grew up here in america and for them
that value system seems just as weird
because they were raised here in america
i thought that's so interesting from a
dna perspective obviously matches very
well in uh with the south korean values
that we would typically think were oh no
it's just innate it's just it's it is a
truth and that is often what people
mistake their very changeable values for
is they mistake it for truth that of
course you afford your elders that level
of respect of course you would never
dare to challenge somebody who's your
superior and it seems self-evidently
true to somebody who grew up in that now
the reason that i belabor that point is
i want you to understand
growing up where you grew up with the
parents that you had in the culture that
you had all of that stuff has shaped
your value system and you don't even
realize you've been making choices all
along the way that have developed a
value system for you and what i want you
to start doing now is challenging those
values and asking what do i want to
value now the reason that this makes
sense is because once you invest in a
value and you say okay this thing i'm
gonna choose to value this like i value
speed i value efficiency now because i
have chosen to value it because i've
invested so heavily into that into
and i do it by the way because it's good
for business so i want to have this
neurochemical reaction which is the big
reason for developing your values you
want to have a neurochemical reaction so
that you get a positive reward when you
move fast when you create momentum so
that when i'm doing something that
aligns with what a business needs a
business needs momentum
okay so if a business needs momentum i
need to prize momentum which means i
need to make it a value so what do you
do write your values down
journal about your values and why
they're important that is a really
critical part of all this so that you're
reinforcing it in your own mind and then
when you're aligned with it then you
want to
reward yourself and you're going to have
to get good at that of congratulating
yourself telling people that you love
like i always tell my wife if i did
something that i'm super excited about
and that's really important to me i'll
let her know so that i'm not only
writing it down i'm getting that
external reinforcement and then that
over time hardwires that neurochemical
reward into you so repetition is going
to be a big part of this but decide what
your values are going to be realize
they're malleable and then build which
is step number three the ultimate value
stack for becoming unstoppable
number one in the value stack that you
should build is self-reliance you need
to know that nobody's coming to save you
that you shouldn't want anyone to save
you that you should want to be in
control of your own life you should look
at what you're trying to accomplish
recognize what the skill set is that you
need to get and then realize that no
one's going to push you to do it you
have to do it don't wait for somebody to
remind you or hold you to a standard
hold yourself to that standard the next
is self-respect
you need to have integrity if you say
something do that thing you want to know
that you can trust yourself when you
know you can trust yourself and you're
doing things that are worthy that you
value
then you begin to develop that
self-respect you're not gonna get
anywhere until you're able to build that
self-respect and it really does start
nice and small nice and simple if you
say you're gonna do something do it so
pick things in your real life whether
it's going to the gym whether it's
cutting out sugar whether it's taking a
cold shower you want to have bright
lines in your life that you use that you
make sure you're building into your
self-respect i said i was going to do it
and i do it no matter how [ __ ] hard
it is if you do that if you start
sticking to what you say
like you're going to commit to yourself
in this course and if you actually stick
through win or lose succeed or fail
you're going to build your self-esteem
all right the next thing you want to
have is value is growth you want to make
sure that every day you're checking
yourself am i actually getting better am
i pushing myself outside my comfort zone
and improving and if you're not
improving then that needs to be one of
those things that oh man it sucks you're
like [ __ ] i'm just stagnant i'm not
really getting anything done that needs
to bother you a big part of this is that
it's going to bother you on a body level
no matter what because the human animal
is wired to be chemically rewarded for
growth
progress is a foundational part of
getting better it's a foundational part
of fulfillment and if you want to have
that level of fulfillment in your life
then you've got to be focused on growth
the next is resilience aka
toughen the [ __ ] up
i know a lot of people don't like to
hear it like that but i want to get your
attention you need to toughen up you
cannot tolerate weakness in yourself
that's just a [ __ ] truth and you've
got to when you know that you're acting
weak you've got to call yourself out
you've got to say i don't allow that in
my life and valuing resilience
is going to be one of those things that
one it is a skill set that you can
absolutely develop and when you value
that then you're going to get stronger
and stronger and be able to carry more
and more weight as you go and if you
want to talk about earning people's
respect let me tell you when you're the
one that in the middle of chaos is calm
is steady can provide leadership all of
a sudden you're going to see how that
begins to advance you in any aspect of
your life from self-esteem to moving up
in a company so that is the ultimate
value stack step four you're going to
have to get mentally tough so going back
to resilience now i want to detail out
exactly how you build that you're going
to develop grit if you haven't read
angela duckworth's book grit read it she
defines grit as passion and perseverance
over time so often people say that they
want to do something but then ah they
got into it they did it for a couple
months and then they lose interest and
they stop doing that if you do it once
or twice fair enough you're finding that
thing that really resonates with you but
if you find you're doing it over and
over and over chances are you don't have
the grit to persevere when things get
hard or
when they get boring
and that's the boredom is something a
lot of people don't see coming so you
want to make sure that you're able to
develop your passion and persistence
over time
the next thing you want to do is move
towards fear i find that
fear is a very useful thing it can keep
you safe but it can also keep you small
fear is an indicator that there are
stakes now if you look at it and the
stakes are life or death don't do it
that doesn't make any sense but if you
look at it and the stakes are
embarrassment the stakes are you might
fail then that is almost certainly
something that you should move towards
that's one of the ways you begin to
build that mental toughness is when you
expose yourself to fear what the
literature shows is you're not actually
getting less afraid what you're doing is
getting braver that is a big deal you
want to make sure that you're pushing
yourself and you're actually getting
braver as you go the next is emotional
stability get control of your emotions
so many people believe their emotions
because they have an emotion they
actually allow themselves to embody it
and act as if it is true the reality is
you need to learn to get control of your
emotions so that you can go from that
the in fact i'll explain it a better way
it is famously said that there is the
space between stimulus and response and
that little gap is where you get to
elicit control someone may do something
to you that offends you but how you
respond is up to you you can't control
the incoming stimulus you may not even
be able to control that it offends you
but you can actually
absolutely control how you react to that
and so you want to make sure that you
understand something about the brain the
brain tries to justify the size of your
reaction so if your reaction is small
and you don't let it upset you you stay
centered then the brain goes oh i guess
that wasn't that big of a deal
if on the other hand you
freak the [ __ ] out like this is
something in my real marriage this this
is hilarious my wife cannot [ __ ]
stand if somebody cuts in front of her
in line man that is such an offense to
her it violates her principles and she
wants to get super pissed and worse she
wants me to get pissed but because i
value
the
staying calm equanimity and i don't
value raging out of freaking out so why
way is it really a big deal if they cut
if it is and i'm like running late for a
flight or something then i'm saying yo
[ __ ] you got to get out
because there's something else that's
going on that makes that an important
moment to me but if it's a moment where
it doesn't really matter and i know that
by having a big reaction my mind is
going to reinforce that it's a big deal
and it's only going to bother me more
the next time then i keep my equanimity
i stay chill and my brain goes oh i
guess this isn't that big of a deal
so you really want to make sure that you
practice that stuff one of the best ways
to practice that believe it or not is a
cold shower but we'll get more into that
later all right you want to increase
your ability to deal with stress so part
of this comes down to identity so what
kind of person are you so i use the
phrase i'm the type of person that so
i'm the type of person that stays chill
in the face of stress now why do i do
that because to run a business where
things are constantly going wrong you
have to be able to stay chill even in
the face of stress so i need to value
that going back to what's the value
hierarchy what are the values necessary
to achieve my goals and then i know my
values are malleable so i'm going to
choose to value being chill and the way
that i'm going to reinforce that and
really make it something that influences
my behavior is to remind myself of what
kind of person i am to value being that
kind of person to tell other people that
i'm that kind of person and then want to
be congruent with that notion and the
feeling of congruence of saying i'm a
certain way acting that way and then
actively valuing it so when i act in
alignment with that with that i feel
good about that because i've done the
hard work of building that value in to
my neurology so that i have this this
neurological neurochemical cascade of
actual feel-good chemicals so that i
really
feel this sense of psychological
um positivity as i act in accordance
with that identity so identity's huge
identity drives behavior so you want to
really take control of that make sure
you're crafting an identity and telling
yourself a narrative that empowers you
and makes you feel good about yourself
all right the other thing you want to do
is reframe stress as a challenge just
reframing it in fact this this is true
of anything there's a an amazing
shakespeare quote nothing is either good
or bad but thinking makes it so and once
you reframe
stress instead of being something that's
dangerous something to be avoided you
reframe it as a challenge something that
you can learn from then all of a sudden
it becomes something that you're willing
to move towards and obviously moving
towards the things that are stressful
which signal that there are stakes right
going back to that notion of fear when
you are moving towards the things that
actually matter that actually have
stakes those are probably the biggest
areas for opportunity so when you look
at that as something that is a challenge
then you can begin to make progress and
like i said a minute ago meditation is
one of the best ways to get into this
like if you want to get mentally tough
ironically enough you're going to want
to practice your meditation so that you
can practice rapidly de-escalating your
emotions rapidly
de-excitating your nervous system going
from the sympathetic nervous system
which is fight-or-flight to the
parasympathetic nervous system which is
rest and digest all right you guys are
gonna have to get super comfortable
being uncomfortable whether that means
that you want to go run a marathon or
ask somebody for their phone number
whatever you're uncomfortable is you
want to be able to live in that space
and be chill about it and this is
another area that cold showers are
amazing because cold showers suck and
they're going to send you into fight or
flight immediately everything in your
body is going to be screaming for you to
get the [ __ ] out of that cold water it's
actually going to feel like it's life or
death
but it's not and so you can stand in
there in the cold water
relax yourself
calm down
and realize okay nothing bad is
happening
and when you push that and extend the
time you get better and better with
dealing with discomfort now depending on
what your goal is this may be incredibly
valuable if you have any
notion of developing leadership in your
life if you have any idea of wanting to
take on more responsibility because you
want to do more with your life or you
want to make more money
getting comfortable in those areas of
discomfort is going to be absolutely
critical even telling the truth can be
completely uncomfortable because you're
upsetting somebody else or it's a very
hard truth and so getting comfortable
there is is very critical
all right for me one of the things i
struggled with was standing up for
myself i was always worried about
hurting other people's feelings i was
always worried of potential
confrontation
and so getting comfortable in that
friction sitting there until we actually
find a solution instead of wanting to
make everything okay as fast as possible
that was really really critical all
right
you need to get up every time you fail
this is one of those things that you can
practice look
there's no way to guarantee that you're
not going to fail but you can certainly
practice getting up every time you fail
and the way to do that is to develop a
growth mindset so we
described or defined a fixed mindset
earlier a fixed mindset is when you
believe your talent and intelligence are
fixed traits a growth mindset is when
you believe your talent and intelligence
are malleable traits that you can
actually change them you can improve
them you can get better over time
smarter over time more competent over
time and to do that you just need to
reframe the failure as a learning
experience so that's one of the big ones
people that can really fail
without losing their enthusiasm in fact
it's a churchill quote he says success
is going from failure to failure to
failure without a loss of enthusiasm so
reframe that failure as a learning
experience because failure is truly the
most information-rich data stream there
is all right step five you've got to
push yourself physically if you want to
get tough you've got to test yourself
and there's no better or more reliable
way to test yourself than to push
yourself physically you've got to stop
asking how little you can get away with
and start asking one of the most
powerful questions in the universe which
is how much can you bear
adaptation only happens when you get way
outside of your comfort zone when you
get to fatigue when you get to
absolutely not being able to lift
another rep that's when your body shifts
over into adapt or die mode and you
begin to actually make progress if you
haven't read david goggins book can't
hurt me he talks about how to callous
your mind through physical activity how
to do some really hard [ __ ] and hold
yourself accountable so that you're
actually asking yourself i said i was
gonna do this did i do it or not am i
doing hard things physically am i
challenging myself and because the mind
and body live in this reciprocal loop
if you're not optimizing one you're
never going to be able to fully optimize
the other so i wish i wish personally
that i could just treat myself like a
brain floating in a jar somewhere that
would be ideal for me but i know that i
cannot cognitively optimize i know that
i will never reach my
maximum mental toughness unless i'm
testing myself putting my body through
the paces making sure that physically
i'm in a good place and every day that
passes science is showing another way
that the mind and body are connected and
that if one is in ill health the other
is going to be an ill health so you've
got to make sure that as a way to
really toughen up as a total ecosystem
that you're getting your body and your
mind together and i love goggins notion
of the accountability mirror of looking
yourself dead in the [ __ ] eye at the
end of every day or at the beginning of
the day and evaluating your past
performance and what you're going to do
in the future i think it is
extraordinarily helpful to be honest
with yourself be very direct not as a
way to beat yourself up and i know a lot
of people get stuck there
it's not what i'm talking about
i'm talking about being honest
with yourself about what you're doing
about how you've performed about whether
or not you're being weak in something
because if you're being weak
the only problem with that is ignoring
it is pretending like it's okay is not
holding yourself to a standard it's
going to happen from time to time but if
you're not honest with yourself about
where you are if you're not having that
hard direct talk then you're never going
to make progress all right i'm going to
give you a few things that i think
really play into testing your body
number one we've talked about cold
showers these are the [ __ ] like
that's the gold standard of daily things
to do to really push yourself it's not
fun you're not going to look forward to
it at least not if you're me but it is
one of those things that you get in at
first you do it for a very brief period
of time then you extend it
farther and farther and really begin to
see just how much you can handle
physically and mentally cold exposure
also has some pretty extraordinary
effects
and another one is getting your diet
right i think that a lot of times people
are pretty lacks on their diet has a big
impact on you mentally i think you're
going to have a very hard time
becoming unstoppable if your body's weak
if you're
you know wildly overweight if you're out
of shape like these are things that
really matter i think they matter
psychologically and i think they matter
physically so getting your diet on track
is super important it's beyond the scope
of this to talk about what a good diet
looks like i've talked about it we have
a whole show called health theory it's
all free you can go check it out
and then fasting i think fasting is an
awesome gut check mentally you're going
to find out real fast what you're
capable of in terms of the fortitude of
sticking with that so it's a great
physical
test to put yourself through to see
where you're at all right
i want to issue a challenge to you guys
one i want you to take ownership of your
life i want you to say what you're going
after i want you to write it down i want
you to write down your values then
i want you to live by them and do the
accountability mirror and see if you're
actually doing it and i want you to
immediately begin interrupting the
victim mentality so when you have that
woe is me it's not my fault it was so
and so they did it to me i want you to
stop that immediately remind yourself
that you own your life remind yourself
of cause and effect remind yourself that
you
are in control you could make a
different decision and you could get a
different outcome because you can't
control the world you can't control
other people you can only control
yourself and between that stimulus and
that response is your ability to make a
different choice
all right if you're reframing your
failures in your life seeing them as
lessons you've got a real opportunity to
progress if you create a compelling
future for yourself and write it down
know where you want to be know who you
want to be
know the skill set that stands between
you and that by really contemplating it
writing it down being very specific that
would be incredibly powerful just make
sure it's something that actually
excites you
complete the pdfs
so that you have something that's really
helping to organize your thoughts and
your behaviors and then engage with the
community if you do that stuff
everything that we just talked about in
this section of the course is going to
begin to solidify
all right there's more this course four
parts next up
part two if you thought today was
valuable i think you're really going to
be blown away with what we're going to
be talking about we're going to talk
about becoming anti-fragile tapping into
your dark side what jung called the
shadow side i think it's incredibly
powerful one of the most underutilized
tactics we get way up in that and then
we're going to talk about how to super
be super charged by your own failures
and a whole lot more all right guys be
sure to come back because at the end of
this you really are if you put in the
work going to be unstoppable until part
two my friends be legendary take care
all right my friend that wraps up this
preview from part one of the own your
life class from impact theory university
if you liked this and found it helpful
don't forget to grab your free access to
part two by going to
ownyourlife.impacttheory.com
or clicking the link in the description
like i said at the start of this preview
you have to figure out what you want in
life what skills you need to get there
and then you have to work to acquire
those skills at basically any cost
within your code of ethics of course all
right the next five steps to owning your
life are waiting for you at this link
and i look forward to seeing you in
there until then my friends be legendary
take care