Kind: captions
Language: en
i think you can see that i'm no smarter
than anybody else in this room
i just use certain little basic tools to
be successful every day when you're
living your life you're kind of living
in the moment and one thing didn't work
and i tried something else sometimes
that worked sometimes it didn't
do you want to know what you're not good
at
decide okay where you want to go because
those are the path own it what are you
going to do about it
wherever you're at in life right now at
this very moment
i believe everyone has a knowing inside
of them
the fact that if i find smart people and
i surround myself with them
i end up looking smarter
you can be the bull at any position
you're doing and it's just telling
yourself i'm going to do this better
than anybody else
be the bull at whatever you do and on
and on and on
[Music]
you can go to work every day and
separate yourself from anybody else and
it's no different than the sound guy on
this set if you pick up you know what
this sound guy is really really good and
he's worried about this and he's worried
about that then all of a sudden you tell
somebody you need a good sound guy this
and then they end up on this person
because of a recommendation all of a
sudden this guy is known as the best
sound guy in la because he's paying
attention or she's paying attention to
details that the other sound people
don't no you know what i i hear an
ambulance out there let's cut it you
know just the little little little bitty
things and i just think that it's easy
to separate yourself from anybody else
no matter what your position is if if
you go to work for a company and you
don't go up the corporate ladder it's
your fault it's nobody else's you're
either with the wrong company where
there's no upward mobility or you should
separate yourself because i know one
thing if you work for me i'm paying
attention
nothing goes unnoticed okay and i tell
people that all the time if you want to
separate yourself it's easy to do
because somebody above you is going to
notice it your peers are going to notice
it it is easy to separate yourself from
anybody else i can look at two things
worst thing never happened to me it's
embarrassing i'm at the age where
everybody knows i'm a dummy or wow i got
whole new friends you know i've got this
whole new set of friends which ended up
happening to me which
in two weeks i'm gonna have 45 of them
come out to my ranch this is from eighth
grade so i'm still friends with these
people right i have a child in 14 worst
thing in the world
right oh my god my life is over or wow
i've got a beautiful young
child you know and it's about how you
think did you know to think of it i
didn't think of it like that
in the beginning that's my point when
did that change it just as life went on
i realized what i thought was horrible
became wonderful
and why do i spend energy on things i
cannot control
i had to fail fourth grade why am i
going to be upset about it
again i think about this after the fact
and realize don't spend energy on things
you can't control so as my life got as i
moved along i started
wasting less energy on things like that
and then realizing find the silver
lining what good came out of this
issue you know and i've had a lot of
them right so okay so i can't change the
things that
i could probably cry over so what what
lesson did i learn you know and then and
now my life in the last 15 years 20
years has been really
focused on all the
the learnings you know and not the
woe is me stuff because we all got those
you know when you look back at your life
when you're my age i'm now 71 an age too
young to run for president united states
probably
if you can say okay this is how it
worked out and i can explain it but when
you're living your life you don't look
at those things that way so when you're
living your life you're kind of living
in the moment and one thing didn't work
and i tried something else sometimes
that worked sometimes it didn't and i
got very very lucky in my life uh and
then i tried to do many different things
and some of them you know i was happy to
do and i they worked out well some just
were failed miserably and you know
that's life and you know you just have
to get used to it but i i
think i attribute a lot of my success to
luck and a lot of that uh to also coming
from modest means if you grow up in
extremely wealthy family if your father
is worth 10 billion dollars you might
not have the drive to do the kind of
things you need to do to win a nobel
prize or a pulitzer prize or something
else if you grow up in a modest family
you know if you're going to get anywhere
in life you got to do it on your own and
so when you're growing up and not a
wealthy family you might not think it's
an advantage but actually is a big
advantage because you know if you're
going to get anywhere you've got to do
it on your own and when you get to do it
on your own and you do succeed people
are going to say well you did it on your
own not because your father your mother
i don't give other people my microphone
who are then just gonna literally lower
my vibration because of their own lens
of limitation and it's the skill you
develop and when you imagine holding
your own microphone listen we all
you know if you have if you are blessed
to have a family or friends that you
love it's not like
you know you want to just
x them out of your life because they
don't understand your hopes and dreams
but learning to just not share them all
with them hold your own mic talk to them
about other things like what's on the
bachelor or like what's going on with
whatever right and love them but put
those boundaries in place and then the
other thing is the volume dial and
that's big and you know people have said
things to us that have hurt us probably
universally there's probably not a
single person out there that hasn't had
someone say something to them that hurts
them deeply and it is human nature to
relive it over and over and over and
over in our own head to the point where
we carve a groove and it's like it
starts to stick and take root and i
think it is so important
mentally for me like i'd ha every time
that that dude who said no one will buy
makeup from you and there are so many
other rejections i talk about in the
book um you know when i went to sephora
and felt like i didn't belong and i
didn't fit in and all those things you
know a lot of times the most hurtful
words we hear are the ones we say to
ourselves the ones we make make up and
telling ourselves we're not enough and
all that kind of stuff and i have to be
mindful and intentional and literally
imagine myself when those thoughts come
up stopping them turning down the volume
and then turning up the volume on
something else until i believe it
[Music]
if i say
that i don't i don't think you're good
at that
i'm being honest but also who knows
whether you're good at that
so how do we then go from you think
you're good at it i don't think you're
good at it and how do we go through a
process to find out together whether
you're good at it or not how do we go
okay
that would be one of my key questions
okay the best way to do it is you do it
in an agreed upon way okay the idea is
okay we say okay tom you're not so good
at that i don't think okay and then we
go through the how would we judge can we
ask other people do we go through this
test or that test how do we find out
what's true because if you can find out
what's true
your life will be better like do you
want to know what you're not good at
if you know what you're not good at it's
your life's no problem because it you
don't even have to get good at it you
just have to work with somebody who's
good at what you're not good at right so
there's a path forward when you get out
of your head that you got to do that so
the only basic notion is when we're if
we would have a relationship is if you
and by the way it's non-hierarchical you
could say hey ray i don't think you're
very good at that and i'm i'm going to
be the same way i put it in because i
needed it because i i'm worried that i'm
going to be wrong
so then you come to me and you say i
don't think it's very good well how do
we find out in a non-ego constrained
objective way whether i'm good at that
or not if i don't think you are good at
something and i am relevant to your life
or vice versa we got to work it out i
think you can see that i'm no smarter
than anybody else in this room
i just use certain little basic tools to
be successful every day
take the word no out of your vocabulary
worry about your customer no spare
customers use the 95 5 rule separate
yourself
from everybody else be the bull at
whatever you do and on and on and on
know what you're good at know what
you're not good at i want to go back to
the bull thing so um
certainly i understand it when it comes
down to an acquisition being bullish
basically when there's blood in the
street that's when there's real
opportunity like i get all of that
now give it to me like i'm a young kid
i'm trying to come up through the mail
room whatever like how does one embody
the bull is it about confidence is it
about uh audaciousness like what is that
thing
um whatever position you're at
you want to be the bull and i don't care
if you're in the mail room or if you're
the person behind that camera that i'm
going to be better than anybody else
with that camera and i'm going to be the
best mail
carrier and the person who comes up and
is the most organized and does it the
most professional way you can be the
bull at any position you're doing and
it's just telling yourself i'm going to
do this better than anybody else i don't
care what the job is
i don't care what you do you be the bull
at what you do what is up my friend i'm
bill you here every week inside impact
theory university i get to mentor and
coach people just like you on how to
achieve their biggest goals reach their
potential and live an extraordinary life
one thing that i hear again and again
from my students is that they're more
focused and motivated than they've ever
been in their lives to achieve their
goals but
when they work harder and harder to be
successful they don't actually see
immediate and fast progress at least not
at the rate that they want they tell me
that they feel stuck overwhelmed or like
they've been working and grinding so
hard for so long without anything to
show for it and i get it and if that
sounds familiar first off you're not
alone that is where basically everybody
is at one point in their journey or
another now second of all i'm hosting a
live workshop later this month before
thanksgiving and i want you to go to
this link or click the button on your
screen and get yourself registered when
you do i'll teach you the same thing
that i teach my students inside impact
theory university so you can actually
take action towards your goals and have
confidence and certainty that the work
you're putting in is actually going to
bring you results it's free to join i
don't often do live teachings like this
so if you've ever wondered what it's
like to get coaching for me join me and
let's get to work on your goals and
dreams i promise they are achievable but
it's a process you have to learn the
process i'll also be giving a bonus
class on how to become unstoppable to
everyone who registers we're going to
take that idea out of this sort of airy
concept and really make it tangible so
that you actually can't be stopped i've
got a whole thing around it trust me
you're not going to want to miss it all
right guys click the link on your screen
and reserve yourself a seat until i see
you in there take care and be legendary
peace out
[Music]
there is the notion of how are we going
to be with each other and reaching that
agreement so let's say you want to be a
certain way
with the people you're with like your
wife
it's the same path
if you cannot sit down and have a
conversation about how we're going to be
with each other
because they won't welcome it
and that way of being is an unacceptable
way
of being for you and your development
get the hell out of there okay but you
have to be able to sit down and say how
are we going to be with each other and
will that be good for you and then will
that be good for me and you got to be
clear that's why culture is so important
you know what kind of culture do i have
a culture in which i can have those
conversations or am i going to be in a
culture in which i can i hear so many
cases because now now because of i
communicate with people on social media
you know i put the principle there then
we discuss each one of those principles
and i so
often run into people who say
but i can't talk to my boss that way and
i can't have this conversation and i
can't do this and that
and it's very simple thing like okay so
we're going to do about it and what you
know like if i can't talk to you
and whatever and i'm going to not be
able to even know what's true because i
can't have the conversation
i'm going to have a terribly
a terrible life i'm having the life that
i don't want i don't even know the
direction i can't be in the mission with
you and so i'm going to be in this
terrible life now you have a choice do
you want that terrible life to be
smothered in that particular way but
realize there's a world out there don't
feel so trapped unless you really are
trapped trapped trapped but most people
aren't it's like it's like um you know
too many fish in the sea there a lot of
people are married if the first one is
not working out right and it really is
fundamentally wrong okay move on and
then your job it's the same thing so
decide okay where you want to go because
those are the path own it what are you
going to do about it you have to move on
okay so either have a great relationship
like you you and your wife or the same
at work
or move on
i think over time
asking became much easier right and an
example is when i first
drove out to california i literally
found myself on a bench over the pacific
ocean in corona del mar beautiful homes
beautiful cars people everything you
could ever imagine and i thought
i want this life you know like you know
i again grew up pretty hard and i'm
thinking
wow like how do you get this and there's
a man in the yard and he's trimming his
rose bushes and i went up to him and i
just said what did it take
to get this house you know i said i'd
love
to have something like this i think i
can do it what is it what did you do
that's when he politely told me he was
the gardener and he was not the owner
but he said i thought the man he says i
think the man's in real estate so i want
to get into real estate right i have no
clue but i just thought if if real
estate can get you here i want to get
into real estate and but the point to
that story more is just asking right
just going up to people and saying what
do you do how did you get this and then
is that something i'd be interested in
you know and i've asked a million
questions by the way and i've had people
turn me down on answers or have people
give me answers that i wasn't interested
in or whatever right but but it's just
you slowly start to build your own
idea of what you want you know and and
um you know and i've i found what i
found interesting a lot of times is i
also i was young and i'd say i'm going
to be the hard charger that's i saw it
in wall street that's what they did
and i'm like i'm not real good at being
a dick you know
so okay i'm going to be the soft you
know and what you got to do is be good
at being you right you don't have to be
somebody else and your transparency or
your authenticity should i say
it it
it will reveal itself and then people
will come into you if you are who you
really are right if you're a good person
you have morals you have integrity all
those things that
we really need if you believe in karma
and you believe the fact that good
things happen to good people then you
will
if you are
again if you're out there and open i
think you'll attract people and when you
attract the right people right then you
know you can go faster you can do the
things that you're really interested in
doing all right so step one is believing
that you can do it right so you thought
i might as well ask because i think i
can actually pull this off i don't know
what this is quite frankly but i think i
can do it and i just need somebody to
say something i tell you that step one
because we're talking to people that
maybe
haven't gone to step one right you have
to believe i if i just convince myself
that if i keep thinking this way it will
happen because by the way the first few
times you might get thrown back on your
butt and go okay
it didn't work for me no you have to get
you have to be
you have to keep doing it right it's not
always going to be okay i have
confidence in myself i had a
a lifetime of not having a whole lot of
confidence
when something hard happens once you're
able to process it emotionally you're
left with choices do you victim up or do
you warrior up do you give up or do you
level up the up is up to you i have the
chills that's so crazy i love that
so now when you put it back in context
of what you go through in the book from
just like you know not coming from means
and you know one point you can't even
afford your car and you're having to
borrow a car from family members and
being on air and having people tell you
you know hey there's something wrong
with your face in your business people
telling you i don't think people are
going to buy makeup from somebody that
looks like you
um i'm just the bullying behind the
scenes which was crazy so
all of those stories
you detail in the book like a thousand
different points where i promise you
99.99999 percent of the world stop
and you have a jay-z quote in the book
and you say jay-z says the genius thing
we did was never give up
and
that feels like the genius move that you
played as well talk to me about the idea
of who we can become what is it you want
us to believe
yeah
my biggest
hope prayer intention
uh is that
each person
closes this book and is better able
to
hear their own gut
and trust themselves
and what i mean by that is you know
i think sometimes i think what jay-z
said is is so right right
but i also think it's not a victory
because we're told so many times keep
going don't give up don't give up like
since the time we're little kids we
watch
you know even if we don't play sports we
watch movies and kids are taught just
don't quit don't give up
i actually think it's a failure
if we don't ever learn how to tune in
and hear our own cat and our truth and
our calling and then we just keep going
and don't give up anyway and we're not
on the right path and what i mean by
that is you know i
since the time i was a little girl i'd
watch oprah in my living room and i i
just had this this knowing oh i want to
interview other people like my whole in
my whole instincts tom i literally just
want to ask you questions right now
about you and lisa who i'm obsessed with
and like that's my my who i am right i
love other people's stories
and so i knew that's what i always want
to do for my career so you know
eventually um that's what i did i was
working as a journalist i was working as
a television news anchor and when i got
that problem and i mentioned earlier
that skin problem you know i was at this
moment in time and i think you know
hopefully everyone in impact theory
community like
wherever you're at in life right now at
this very moment
i believe everyone has a knowing inside
of them i don't think it matters if they
have a faith or no faith i don't think
about any of that i think everyone
universally has a knowing or a truth
inside
and i think most people never learn how
to get still and hear it and most people
if they do get still and hear it they're
going to know right now live while
they're listening to you and me
are they in the right
job they're supposed to be in or
is there is are they are they playing it
small
are they in the right relationship
or are they in it and dimming their own
light because of fear that maybe they'll
be alone we all have a knowing right
and you know what i'll say about the
idea of giving up leveling up all of
that
i think it's so important that
um you know in that moment where i had
the and again let me just say there's so
much i did wrong and i share all that
stuff too one of the things i did right
was when i had this this gut feeling as
i'm sitting there with this skin problem
this gut feeling oh you're supposed to
figure out how to how to create a beauty
company
even though i knew nobody in the beauty
industry had no connections had very
little money because television news
does not pay very well um
i had that knowing right and yet i was
sitting there in my dream job
like that was my dream job since the
time i was a little kid so
i think sometimes like knowing when to
let go of a dream knowing when to quit
is actually
a victory too it's actually as important
as when to keep going right and so with
jay-z's quote the genius thing we did
was we didn't give up
i i think that applies
only if someone
hears their truth and says all right i
have this knowing i'm supposed to be
doing what i'm doing
and
when i look back at this journey of
three years of constant rejection down
to under a thousand dollars in a bank
account
literally getting knocked down over and
over from all of these beauty retailers
that i put on a pedestal and i couldn't
understand why they were telling me i
wasn't the right fit for them
every time i would check in with my gut
right and maybe so many people out there
can relate to this because you you feel
like you're doing something you're
supposed to be doing but like for me
there was no proof around me that my
idea was right there was no traction in
my business there was nobody saying yeah
that's a great idea let me buy your
product and then i'm going to the beauty
retailers and they didn't believe in the
brand and everything around me was
saying you're wrong
and the easiest thing in life is to
confuse that
with the truth
and i think the only way we know the
truth in life is when we get good at
getting still and hearing that inner
knowing and so for me
every time i would get knocked down i
would just check in
get still and it's hard sometimes
because a lot of people out there they
have not heard their own gut in a long
time right and listen to me it's not
about the outcome oh
here's how to create a billion dollar
company it's about the journey of are
you
stepping into all of who you are and the
person you're born to be and how do you
do that
if you decide you want to make something
i think in this country there is a
pathway to do that you can look at
anybody from barack obama
you know to our vice president today
right that if you are a female or if
you're an african-american or whatever
that it may be hard i'm i'm not
putting that out but there is a path if
you really surround yourself with the
right people and don't
you know keep in your head that you're
you can't do it if you think you can i
believe you can
so
let's drill into that so obviously an
undercover billionaire you do something
that's very very impressive and not just
for the cameras but you're stripped down
to a hundred dollars you're dropped off
in a town where you know nobody
you don't have your phone you don't have
your contacts and you're given 90 days
which let me tell you as somebody that's
built multiple companies that's absurd i
have literally
no desire to have to try to pull this
off in 90 days with cameras on me
um
what is that path so
when i think about
i'm most interested in the people that
have the deck stacked against them the
hardest and i want them to understand
right that there is a path out of that
so i was giving a talk at google one
time there's an african-american guy in
the front and he asked me do you think
it's harder for me i said it seems
self-evident to me that it's harder for
you but now what
and getting focused on that idea that
you're talking about
that first it's what i call the only
belief that matters so if you think you
can you can because your behaviors are
going to follow that belief but if you
think you can't you can't because your
behaviors will follow that belief but
now let's assume that they're able to
believe
how what is the path and is there a path
is there a gazillion paths like what
does that mean well when i look at my
career and i started i didn't understand
where i'd end i didn't you know i didn't
know i didn't have a lot of mentors i
didn't have
this idea that i want to achieve this
certain goal i and as i grew and i found
people that
could mentor me and be a part of my
success i began to really
formulate a plan that says i want to how
did you get mentors i
grew you know again i came out to
california where
i just started looking around and seeing
names of people on buildings and all
this and i started seeing them in the
paper and i would literally go hey you
want to go to lunch you know out of the
blue out of the blue i'd go to charity
events and try to meet them
and just want to just say hey i just
want to ask you some questions a lot of
them were in their 70s
and the interesting thing that i have
found because i've become
the membership chairman for so many
charities now because i kind of was in
this middle ground i wasn't the old guy
and i wasn't the new guy i wasn't my 20s
or 30s when i was in my 40s i was
membership chair for every charity you
could ever imagine but it was bridging
the gap right and what i found that
these older successful people they want
to give back they want to tell their
story but a lot of people when they're
young they think oh they don't want to
talk to me they're too big they're too
important they're
too busy right and it could be farther
than the truth if you just ask you never
know you once said that you know when i
had my first restaurant and i was
finally being successful and i think you
were making like three or four million
dollars a year and your dad was like why
do you keep putting this all at risk
and
you said that's basically how i think of
myself now like you may think that i've
gotten big but to me this is like
nothing compared to where i want to go
how do you dream big and how concrete
are those dreams like do you maybe
you're not willing to say out loud but
do you already know like this is my next
acquisition and this is where i'm headed
and this is how i get the nfl team and
totally that's you're exactly right this
is this is steps to get to the next
level
now if i don't pull any of that off have
i reached that point in life where i'm
happy yeah i don't feel like after i
bought the houston rockets
uh and once again i you know who gets to
own 100 of their team in their hometown
there's probably nine of all the major
100 sports teams there's probably not
five so i feel very fortunate
so if nothing else is accomplished do i
feel pretty good i feel okay i really do
i really do and i thank the you know the
good lord and
and all the people that helped me
accomplish it
but but what you just said is happening
i'm taking the next steps right now to
get to the next level
because always that's my sport let's go
play pick up basketball let's go to the
office and play business and that's what
i do every day i go to the office and
play business i have weekends if i'm not
on vacation or on the boat somewhere or
whatever and i'm sitting at home and
it's labor day or memorial day and i
don't have plans i'm going nuts i'm
gonna go to the office i'm gonna attack
you look at the whole
scarcity and abundance kind of concept
right and
i found that when i
would instead of focusing again on
the fact that maybe i'm not the best
reader maybe i don't retain a lot very
you know a lot of things well
instead of that
the fact that if i find smart people and
it's very cliche but it's very true and
i surround myself with them
that i end up looking smarter
right because and and you watch some
people and i would it can give you so
many examples of people
but i won't okay that that are in fear
that if i surround myself with someone
smarter than me it'll make me look dumb
right
and and so they surround themselves with
people inferior and then your whole
company or division or whatever you're
in
fails right versus people that have
enough confidence to say wow you can
fill in the
you know the blind spot i don't
have or my weakness and you fill it all
in and your whole company rises or
whatever you're doing your whole project
rises because all of you
combined to make this uber you know
quick fast smart
um
project go right and so that became
pretty evident to me because i didn't
have a lot of the skills that why don't
i let those people do it you know why
don't i bring in more people and the
more talent i brought in the quicker we
went you know and the less time we
wasted and i went all right i think i'm
onto something here you know and then to
admit it hey i'm not the smartest guy in
the room you know i'm the chairman of my
company i hate running the meetings i
don't i don't like being the one that
has to
tell people what to do i'm not good at
that i have i like the the vision right
i like i got an idea let's march up this
hill that's fun to me but the details
let's let people that
like to do that better than i do do it i
do believe
why i share the story of my seven
closest friends
um is because i think this is important
i think a lot of people out there are
like me and maybe have loving family
loving friends
but if you were to turn the volume up on
all of them and they were to be your
only inner circle
um it'd be really easy
for self-doubt to take over it'd be
really easy
to dim your own light and i talk about
my journey of
sort of how i chose my circle around me
um and it's never based on a commonality
of life experience it's
my closest friends and i think this is
important for everyone listening because
a lot of people are like oh
you know i don't have an inner circle
that empowers me how do i find one you
know i would say impact theory and
impact your university that that alone
can be a
part of your inner circle that's a voice
and conversations and information that
you want to turn the volume up on and i
talk about this because i think this is
universal for everyone and so important
to do this a lot of times people build
their circle of friends based on who
they went to school with or
you know things they have in common and
all the stuff right maybe it's a group
of people from work because you're
around them all the time whatever it is
and i think that
that's not always the right thing i
think who your circle is is so important
and for me
i go deep on this in the book and talk
about each one of their stories because
i want to drive the point home that who
you do surround yourself with and when
you judge them by their heart and
how they pour into you and champion you
and don't tell you this crap you just
because you want to hear it they tell
you the real truth which is so important
they don't get jealous when you're
flying high they want you to fly higher
i talk about this this commonality
of traits
and yet my closest group of friends have
literally almost nothing in common you
know they their backgrounds are so
different they have different faiths and
no faith
they they
one of them was homeless all growing up
and lived in the projects and then
figured out
how to build her own circle and become
an entrepreneur and and she figured out
how to turn down the volume of
negativity and lack of dreaming of all
the people around her for the most part
that she was raised in and how did she
turn that volume up on her own like
inner light and i share this common
thread um really just to
uh inspire a mindset shift sometimes of
oh you know what
my circle of friends you know each
person listening right now my circle of
friends they don't need to think like i
do or pray like i do
or love like i do or anything else but
like if i surround myself with people
that are truly
telling the truth
loving me authentically
and uplifting and dreaming big with me
and calling me out on the bs when i
start to like talk myself out of my own
truth right which we all do it's a
lifelong journey talk about the power of
finding people like that and surrounding
yourself with them and i think they can
be people in real life and i also think
that they can be
people that you let pour into you who
maybe you've never even met
um like you like your show for people
you know what i mean i think that that's
really powerful
who we let speak into our lives
and who we turn the volume down on but
still love anyway
is so important
because one of our biggest mistakes is
turning the volume up on the people just
because we love them and they're our
family
and then all of a sudden that's all all
the noise we hear
and it impacts our whole
life if you do make your passion and you
work the same thing
um then you're it's great right because
your passion
uh whatever it might be you're a painter
or you're an entrepreneur or whatever
that is and you find that more enjoyable
than going to a ball game let's say then
that's becomes a passionate thing that's
one thing second to know how to
work with people who can do things
really well to get the most leverage out
of people okay third how do you get
yourself really what are the right work
habits um you know anyway there's a
whole bunch of those kinds of things
where you how do i just just what you
say how do i get it done without me
doing it
who's the best to do it and how do i get
it oh you all of a sudden you open
yourself to up to all different
possibilities of how you can do that
right
no time i think tim ferriss wrote what
the four-minute
or the four-hour
work week
work week or something like okay for our
work week okay or okay there are
approaches
uh all those ways of being able to do
that so i just gave you uh uh you know a
few
[Music]
ah business life uh it's really a
journey of
well the real business life is starting
as a denny's waitress and kind of
knowing deep down inside that i wanted
to
you know get out into the world meet
people with different backgrounds
although like i knew
um
i knew i wanted to serve more give more
all those things i didn't yet know how
um and battled with a lot of self-doubt
all of that uh eventually i was a
journalist and um had this moment time
where i thought something was a big
setback in my life i got a skin
condition called rosacea so i'd be
anchoring the news live
and i would hear while i'm talking live
over over television i would hear in my
ear from my producer there's something
on your face there's something in my
face wipe it off wipe it off and you
know i developed this bright red skin
condition there was no cure for and long
story short i went through a season of
worried i'd be fired worried like trying
to solve my problem uh realized that i
couldn't find any makeup that worked for
it and kind of had this i guess classic
entrepreneurial moment of oh if i have
this problem there must be so many other
people out there that can't find
anything else that works for them and
had the crazy idea on my honeymoon
flight to south africa write the
business plan with my husband
i got that credit quit our jobs dove all
in
uh and uh spent three years hearing no
from everyone kind of rejection and and
didn't know how we were gonna survive
got down to under a thousand dollars in
our bank account and
it all came down three years into the
business
of one big moment on qvc uh where i kind
of risked it all
went with my gut over what the experts
were saying and
long story short um we built this this
business and what i thought was a
setback right was my my skin challenges
ended up being a set up for like part of
my calling part of what i was supposed
to do and uh over the years we built
what's now the largest luxury makeup
company in the country so uh in built to
over a thousand employees and then in
2016 l'oreal acquired uh the company for
1.2 billion dollars cash and
it was really
it was uh
making it sound easy it was
literally the hardest decade of my life
100 hour weeks made so many mistakes um
and you know i think that
what the last thing i'll say uh is that
you know
when i read the headlines about my story
online it's like oh denny's waitress two
billion entrepreneur and the reason i
wrote this book is because i realized
like oh if we don't share the real
story behind the story like all the
mistakes and all the the the setbacks
and the rejection and
if we don't ever share that then people
going through it on in their own space
they feel like they're alone and they
see everyone else's highlight reel and
so this whole book is like
what really happened
the stories behind the stories and then
and then just how i got through them and
and my hope is that for you know for
everyone in your in your community that
i'm so grateful just to share this this
time and the space with that
you know
i think it's a common thread through
humanity for all of us on our own
journey uh in business or in life that
we kind of go on this journey from
uh not believing in ourselves and then
hopefully learning how
you said uh in phase one you're
dependent on others you're essentially a
child and you're learning phase two you
go to work other people become dependent
on you and at the end of phase two you
pass it off to other people you want
them to thrive without you you give them
the knowledge and the wherewithal
and then in phase three you
savor
uh
um you savor life
um what's that gonna look like for you
it's the freedom to do whatever you want
to do without obligations
it is the realization that you shouldn't
and it's not good to control anybody
it's just savoring life that you have
you can do anything you want you go from
free you go to freedom um if there's a
life arc
yes
there's a life arc and in um i i put
together this book as a 600 page book i
also then uh was asked by a lot of
people to make a
simpler version
um about uh principles for success into
a little book and i'll be out
or putting it out on the
newsstands you actually could be
pre-ordered on amazon
and in that book i show a life arc and i
track through what are the various
phases of life
and what what is the happiest phase what
is the at least happy phase and how does
it work the nutshell version is you
start off in it it is very very um it's
it's a really enjoyable phase in life
you start to have uh start to experience
responsibilities like junior year okay
do i get into the school i want to get
into or whatever that's quite common
college is great it's exploratory come
out of college there's the most amount
of freedom you have so that transition
and school come into now the new phase
of life is totally different than the
first phase of life because what it
means is you don't follow any track all
all through there you were following
track in the definit and the direction
of others and now you can live anywhere
you want you can pick any job you want
you can do anything you want you have
total freedom there's no guide you can
do anything you want you have that
freedom and you move forward with that
and then you start to make decisions and
you start to um take on obligations you
might get married you might have kids
you have jobs and you take on that and
the
least happy period in life by serp
surveys of happiness
is um 45 to 55 okay that
because that then you have oh
the work-life balance
and the obligations and too many things
to do and
and then maybe it's not as
ideal idyllic as you want you know ah
you get into the marriage and whatever
it is and then maybe it's not the
marriage that you expected or the things
that you're having and all of those
things that's a difficult phase of life
that middle part of that phase in life
45 to 55 and so on um and then people
transition it's interesting and opposite
than what i would have expected
that the happiest phase in life
is um between uh 60 and 80.
and and the you know the funny thing
about it which is really funny um they
asked people um
um
how good do you how good do you look
um and they rate it the highest at that
age now that's not true right but what
happens is people at that point feel
more comfortable with themselves in
various ways
when you make that transition you're
eliminating all of those obligations
you're eliminating all of those things
you're giving yourself free i don't have
to take care of it i savor oh my
family's well without me or whatever is
i've got the free time i could do
whatever i want to do that doesn't mean
life isn't exciting i find life very
exciting i'm very vital i like those
types of things but totally free of
choice and you also savor the life arc
you know even
as people approach their death they
approach the death in a whole different
way than what death seems to be for
people in their early years right oh
you're a terrible terrible thing no it's
just part of that particular process and
how do you do that life arc and ah the
curtain goes down you know and that is a
different phase in life you know
somebody that that's an all-weather
winner there's something pushing them
now it's a sport it's just the sport of
this is what i do every day
and people say why do you do this and i
just said because what would i do i mean
if i can't come to the office and solve
problems and fight with everybody and
and conquest some and you know conquer
then then what am i going to do with
myself i'm going to sit home and die i
mean that's what i enjoy doing this is
my basketball this is my game that i
play this is my pickup
monopoly game whatever you want to call
it okay this is i love going to the
office
and and and leading people and and
trying to conquer something that's what
i enjoy doing it's sport