Kind: captions
Language: en
everybody doesn't win and the sooner you
wake up to that
that biology is ruthless man
then you get a little fear in you and
when you get a little fear in you
you start listening because if you're
truly afraid you listen
let a little fear come in and drive you
and motivate you
hey everybody welcome to impact theory
you were here my friends because you
believe that human potential is
nearly limitless but you know that
having potential is not the same as
actually
doing something with it so our goal with
the show and company is to introduce you
to the people and ideas that will help
you actually execute on your dreams
all right today's guest has founded
invested in advised or mentored more
than
20 multi-million dollar companies but
that's about as far from where he
started as you're going to get
in the beginning he was just another
college dropout living on his mother's
couch
but this guy was not a slacker and
ultimately he managed to convince
not one or two but five ultra successful
people to mentor him
and armed with their knowledge and a
deep willingness to learn
he turned the 47 bucks he had in his
bank account into arguably
the most famous garage full of exotic
cars on the planet
his secret an insatiable curiosity
he says he cares far more about
adventure than money and he's got the
resume to back it up
he's worked shearing sheep in new
zealand lived with the amish for two and
a half years worked in a leper colony in
india
worked as a certified financial planner
and as a mentee
helped joel saladin pioneer grass-fed
sustainable agriculture
he's also a social media pioneer with
millions of followers and
hundreds of millions of views he now
lives his life in front of the camera
essentially around the clock pumping out
entertaining educational content
and giving away an insane amount of
prizes including at last count
10 cars he is the capital d
dawn of the rich and famous
entrepreneurial lifestyle for the
millennial generation
but to be blinded by the glitz and
glamour of his life would be to miss the
point entirely
if you look beyond the hype and the
conspiracy theories about this guy
his one consistent message is develop
your
mind love him or hate him nothing was
handed to him and his earliest mentor
even all these years later
is still quick to point out that he's
never seen another apprentice with the
drive and determination
that today's guest has so please help me
in welcoming the man who has read over 5
books and has a book club and podcast
that now reaches 1.4 million people in
40 countries
the new media mogul and serial
entrepreneur tai
lopez
thank you good to have you on it was a
lot of fun being on your show earlier
today so
to now get to flip the tables yeah dude
i'm super stoked i want to get into some
of the stuff that
i found just incredibly intriguing
starting with what you've said about the
amish being some of the happiest
people that you've ever met in fact your
quote was
the happiest i've ever been in my life
was with the amish it's been downhill
since then which you said like
tongue-in-cheek but
walk us through that how did you end up
there and what is it about them that
makes them so happy
so how did i end up there you know i
think one of my business partners now
got a phd in
multi-objective optimization basically
how to do lots of things at once
and he told me a couple years ago he
goes you know what my conclusion is
after 12 years of study berkeley
it's all bs you can only optimize for
one thing at a time so
as i look back at my life i think
without knowing it now i'm a little more
clear i've optimized
for like adventure and so there was a
point in my life
i i did i had an okay upbringing but
my dad was in prison when i was born my
mom was married and divorced a few times
and
a lot of conflict and at some point in
my life i picked up this book called
amish society
by hosh stetler this professor and i was
fascinated i was like
these people these amish people have
something that no one else
in the united states and really the
world has and i was like i'm going to
try an adventure so i went
i got on a bus went to lancaster
pennsylvania and i went to this little
town called bird in hand i'll never
forget i got off the bus
walked to this farm this guy daniel
stolz i'd written him a letter and he
said you can come visit me
so i go and it was instantly like being
in a time machine
back in the 1800s i walked in the barn
and he was
shoveling apple pumice which is when you
make apple juice you get the the
byproduct is a little fruit stuff
he's feeding his cows and and it was him
and his two sons
barefoot that was my introduction to a
new adventure in my life which i've
pretty much
tried to keep replicated i mean people
see me doing social media and cars and
all that but
it's still the same thing i'm i'm a
little bit like you like
if you think about life you can be
nihilistic about life like what's the
purpose at the end of the day you can
dissect
anything and go what's the purpose some
people go you know i want to make a
billion dollars and you can say to them
what's the purpose we all die we all end
up in the same small
grave at the end of the day and you can
say i want to become super intelligent i
want to have
get married and have kids at the end of
the day all flesh is grass
and you disappear just like the grass
eventually
so for me the best guess i had and maybe
other
you know some people have spiritual
things and all that and the best guess
i've ever come up with is like
if every day you wake up and you go
i don't have it all figured out let's
jump into something crazy
and see what happened that's how i got
started on social media i started really
dabbling with it in 2012 2013 and then
in 2014
someone was like you should do youtube
it's going to be big
so i was like let's try a new adventure
and i
just started shooting my first videos in
january 25th
2016 2015 sorry i put out this video and
it
it's ended up cumulatively different
versions have like
600 million views it's gotten a lot of
views
in my garage here in my garage and some
other similar
garage themed ones everybody should try
to be rich and famous
at least once and should get it just to
realize it's not as good as you think
but the adventure part is cool and also
when i say adventure i also mean gaining
insight into life
the biggest thing i've learned if i
could be 18 again
i wish somebody had told me basically
nobody knows what they're doing
even the adults you think you know
everybody's lost and the world's the
blind leading the blind so the ultimate
adventure to me is not just like bungee
jumping or something like that or going
to the amish it's
trying to get insight and see life as a
puzzle
and your goal in life is to seek the
adventures
that piece the puzzle together so that
at the end of your life
you like kind of get get it you kind of
get it i feel like most
people don't get what life is like think
about it's like
what is life like why do are we driven
with some basic instincts what's the
purpose you know i like evolutionary
psychology
so all these things have kind of led me
down
this bizarre place and here i am with
you
all right so i know that you actually
have a definition of the good life
around the four pillars
what are the four pillars and how does
it play into everything
so yeah i always say health wealth love
happiness like
kind of in that order if you're not
healthy you won't care about anything so
i figured
health is the trump card and then the
thing the reason i put money
second over love it doesn't mean like
you should try to get rich before love
if you look at maslow's hierarchy of
needs a classic kind of way to be happy
there's five levels to muscle so the
bottom one is physiological or physical
needs have to be met food shelter water
the second one is safety
you have to feel safe the third one is
love
and because if you don't have physical
and safety right you don't care about
love
and if you don't believe me look up the
number one reason people get divorced
it's financial issues so i just figured
money doesn't bring happiness but the
absence of money brings unhappiness
this has been proven all over and over
daniel conman nobel prize winner he said
you know
if you make less than 72 grand in
america he's found
your happiness suffers because your
stress goes up so i figure
you don't have to be wealthy when i say
wealth it doesn't necessarily mean like
forbes list it means you have to have
your physical needs met
and you have to have a margin of safety
some money in the bank account
if every paycheck you're freaked out
your love life is going to suffer and
then the the top two of maslow's
hierarchy of needs then become
you know respect and then the last one
the highest pinnacle
is like a higher purpose or people
called spiritual
so health wealth and then love and then
if you get those three
that's how you get happiness like
happiness there's so many books now
about happiness there's a good one
called happiness hypothesis by jonathan
height
but at the core thing to me
happiness is like soup it's like if you
make chicken noodle soup but you forget
the chicken
it's not chicken noodle soup if you
forget to put the broth in
it's just chicken and noodles if you
forget the noodle so
that's what i mean like happiness is a
compilation of a whole bunch of stuff
you do right
so i think i haven't found a better way
to think about it
so how do you go about like give us some
tactics how do you tactically optimize
for them
do you attack them sequentially uh do
you
call make real-time calls about like oh
i'm a little low on
happiness or love or whatever like how
do you play that yeah well like i said i
don't optimize for the last one i try to
get the first three right
steve jobs said he didn't want to be the
richest man in the graveyard
you know do you want to be the richest
man in the graveyard i want to be
the happiest man on the way to the
graveyard and some of that
you have to postpone pleasure a good
investor is somebody who postponed
present pleasure for
future gain and you can do that you work
hard in the day it's
some stuff's a pain in the butt you
built i built lots of
you know businesses i know what it is to
be an entrepreneur i'm saying
i know that chess move and what i'm
telling you is
two chess moves past that chess move
optimizing your life
for hustling and grinding is like
optimizing your life around going p
no p is something you have to do it's
not the goal
you don't go you know my goal is hit the
toilet
seven times a day no but you have to do
it to survive
so grinding and working hard and
hustling
is not what you optimize for it's pain
why would you optimize for pain but as
in this
it is a necessity and if you look at
actual scientific explanation of what
makes you successful
it is not just hard work if that's true
construction workers would be the
wealthiest people in the world
waiters and busboys they work harder
than the owner
the most scientific psychometric
personality test is called hexaco
it's more accurate than big five which
used to be
it's much more accurate than myers
briggs infj entp all that stuff
so hexaco tests you on 26 facets of your
personality
and one of them's called
conscientiousness and it's been proven
over and over by scientists
conscientiousness is the most correlated
with business success
defined conscientiousness so yes so then
it divides into four
sub facets organization
perfectionism diligence and prudence so
the real truth is hard work is
25 of the formula because diligence is
known in the common language as hard
work okay
so if you just think diligence alone
will get you success
you're like a basketball player that
thinks you'll play in the nba because
you can shoot free throws
ah there's you ever seen the best free
throw shoes in the world they're old 70
year old men
who shoot underhanded but they don't
play in the nba because the nba is not
all about free throws
so nba is scoring defense free throws
maybe is one component rebounding assist
there's a lot of components
so the other three you have to get good
at the first one is perfectionism
people you have to know how to double
check your work
it's that simple it doesn't mean you're
always a perfectionist but it means
when it's important when you're a pilot
of an airplane
double check before you go they if you
get on a plane
you hear the pilots double checking the
co-pilot going you know
hydraulics and the guy goes hydraulics
and that's why planes don't crash
and it's called six sigma it's three
defects per million
your goal in business and in life on the
important things is to make three
mistakes per million transactions and
the only way you do that
is by being a perfectionist in terms of
double checking so that's 25
the next one is organization i can't
tell you
how much better my life is and anybody
watching this
will be if you wake up every single day
and you take 10 minutes i have yellow
notepads sitting all around my house
i got that from bill gates bill gates
bill microsoft at 17 by locking himself
in a hotel room with six
yellow notepads and he wrote out the
whole basic code
for dos and things that built microsoft
okay he became the richest man in the
world 18 years straight because
he was organized enough to lock himself
in a room
and think through his day and so what i
try to do and whenever i do this i have
a great day whenever i don't
i notice it be organized a little bit
10 minutes i actually have this little
couch thing outside of my shower
and i put a notepad by it i take a
shower when i wake up i walk over to
that i kind of sit there
and i just write out i mean it can be as
little as three main projects you want
to get done that day
so organization is the other 25 so now
and then you have diligence which is
hard work hustle
and perseverance but the last one is the
kicker
and this is what i was talking about the
rewiring that has to happen
the last one is something called
prudence scientists call this prudence
prudence is the ability to make the
right decision and i
can't tell you how many entrepreneurs
and non-entrepreneurs even me at times
too i'm not
special i'm lumping all of us in this
because of our upbringing society our
goal is let's say our goal is like that
camera right there so let's assume
that's north
so i have this compass in my brain and
my goal is to go right there
let's say it's a mile away so north what
happens if society my upbringing in
school
wired my compass exactly backwards so
i think let's say i can't see that
camera but i know i want to go north
so i pull out my my compass and it
points that way so i just take off
walking
and i do it in an organized fashion i do
it in a perfectionist
manner i'm perfecting my steps in my
posture i'm also working on
you know hard work and hustle keep
walking towards your goal
well the truth is if you go south when
you should go north
you could have gone one mile but the
earth is about 24 000 miles
in circumference so you get to walk 24
000 miles and you'll come up on the back
side and you will get your goal
that's most entrepreneurs the average
person takes 20 years to become a
millionaire
ninety percent of businesses fail within
the first five years
80 to 90 depending on what statistic
most people i did the math once the
average american has 60 000
saved by the time they're about 60 years
old so
my answer i did the math you can do this
with the simple
financial calculator everybody in
america your parents everybody you know
will be a millionaire
if they live to 160. at 160 years old
if you take 60 grand at age 60 and you
give it a decent return on investment 8
you'll be a millionaire at 160. but the
problem is
the great philosopher i think was
aristotle socrates said
the problem is art is long
but life is short the art of living
and getting to your objective is long
but it doesn't have to be
it's long if your compass is backwards
so the whole point of what i was saying
about adventure at the beginning is
i'm trying to take myself and point it
to the true north
and you have to learn that from books
and mentors
and life experience and listening and
finding in-person mentors and all those
things
they help adjust your compass and most
people are going to get what they want
just about 40 years longer and i live in
beverly hills trust me
you go downtown beverly hills there's
other people like i have i like to
collect cars it's not so much
i've always liked cars it's not a
materialistic show-off thing like a lot
of people think my grandma said i love
cars
when i was one i used to try to turn the
car on in the garage
you go to downtown beverly hills full of
ferraris the most ferraris per capita in
anywhere in the world
every one of the guys is 80 or 90.
why do you want a ferrari at eight or
nine you want a walker you get all
we gotta walk you into your ch and then
you're gonna get in a ferrari you know
how dumb you look
to me at 90 you want to be playing with
your grandkids
and i've wondered like why the heck is
everybody
90 in this town excluding people who
inherit their money from their dad but
and i realize we're set up for failure
because we think we're going north but
we're going south that's why 50 percent
of people
who get married divorced 80 percent of
businesses fail
that's why 30 percent of americans are
on
some form of antidepressant medication
that's why
60 70 percent of people are overweight i
mean in a way we're kind of [ __ ] but
are there like key principles though
that you can use to turn that compass so
north actually points north
yes first one is just like alcoholics
anonymous
admit you're lost and that one's hard
for people you tell people
even for me sometimes i want to think
i'm smart and i got it all figured out
and
sometimes i'm like wait a second i'm
still lost and that that
the acquiescence the the admittance
of the fact that you're still lost
it gets you on track a lot faster so if
you're watching this and you feel lost
it's better to just sit down and be like
i'm lost because the day you admit
you're lost
is the day you allow yourself to be
found by people who can give you a tip
but what's what's the equivalent of that
because obviously if you're an
entrepreneur nobody's
looking for you so that's the they are
though who is
they are they're you go to barnes and
noble people selling their books they're
looking for you as a customer
so read read i mean the fact that people
argue with me on this reading thing
and people argue with me about mentors
no just use your own gut feeling
is that how you learn english when you
were two years old you use your gut
feeling to start
conjugating verbs no you learn from
other people you learn manners you learn
language
you learn all things valuable you learn
to drive from another person
so it doesn't make sense you learn life
so books are just
the mentors who maybe are dead now you
want to learn about steve jobs he ain't
alive to teach you
but you can learn through accumulated
wisdom and that's why trust me
i meet i very few powerful
businessmen i've ever met um don't read
a lot warren buffett who i think is the
best business man by far
in the world has done c has 75 companies
that he pretty much runs 200 billion in
revenue he reads eight hours a day
he reads 600 he said he slowed down in
his old age he only reads 500 pages a
day
bill gates goes on reading vacations
mark zuckerberg just start
started a reading once a week book club
on facebook and already got a couple
million
uh followers and now with audio books
there's no excuse you got youtube videos
let this thing run in the background and
it's better if you can find it i mean
better than
books is in person mentor that's why i
do a podcast
tom was on my podcast you're a smart
dude i learned from you like i learned
from you today
i liked your angle on how to get in
physical locations
if you launch a physical product you
want to get in stores
don't be thirsty like i said casanova
said be the flame not the moth
let them come to you and that's what you
did with quest and now you sell 1.5
million bars a day that's good so
if you can pick up one gold nugget
whether it's from an in-person mentor
whether from a book you become very
wealthy in knowledge
very quickly one nugget a day one nugget
a day
it's like charlie munger warren
buffett's business partner said
step by step you get ahead but not
necessarily in fast spurts
but you have to prepare for the fast
spurts by learning step by step
so when the day comes and i launch a
physical product i will
hopefully be smart enough and humble
enough to be like
i gotta sit down i've never launched a
company that did 1.5 million bars
i can download in one conversation with
you like you want to become like a super
computer you just download smart crap
from smart people and you pick and
choose like some people are like ty i
don't agree with everything you say i'm
like good i don't agree
with everything i said like a year later
i'm like wait i was wrong
i actually saw a very intriguing piece
of content that you did where somebody
was trolling you
on twitter and in a move that confused
the [ __ ] out of me you decided to call
him on skype or whatever i said let's
let's debate live right now
and you did and you kept asking him a
question that i thought was so spot on
which he kept refusing to answer but it
was
hey you're engaging with me i'm creating
all this content about how i've done
what i've done and instead of going huh
you actually have done something that's
pretty interesting
you're heckling me instead of being
intrigued by my results
yes and that to me was very interesting
and that
that like switch in people's minds it's
either on or off either they look at
somebody else and they go
whoa this guy is doing something right
like holy hell
um or they try to find a reason to um
shut you down not listen to you
discredit you whatever the case may be
i thought that was pretty interesting
talk to us a little bit
about that how often do you see that in
people and do you ever see that
mentality in people who are successful
like drake says if you don't have haters
you ain't popping
so welcome to the world you want to pop
you're going to get hate um
it's interesting this is fascinates me
the more
successful beyond my wildest dreams of
my success
the more they ask me questions the last
time i saw elon musk i've had some
very interesting conversations with this
guy he's one of the smartest guys i've
ever met
elon musk uh we've talked i'm not a
close friend of his by any means but
we've talked at he goes to the same
things he loves hollywood he's always at
red carpet things i go to
so we're in the bathroom and he comes
and i said hey
you know elon er we talked about books
last time he goes oh yeah
i remember you you're the social media
guy goes i got a question for you man
do you think i should use snapchat to
grow tesla
so i was like okay he goes i know you
know about snapchat tell me so
i start talking to him 20 minutes later
it was a game of thrones premiere 6 and
i go
what do you think after i gave my long
diatribe he goes
i think you're wrong but thank you and
then he walked off
and i was like this guy is so smart i
realize you talk about checkmate
i was an idiot because i should have
flipped the conversation to get him to
teach me for 20 minutes
he walked in the room knowing what he
knew i knew what i knew
but he i gave him all my jewels and he
walked away with them like a smart guy
i see people making fun of the
kardashians i'm like you gonna make fun
of the kardashians
look kylie jenner the youngest
kardashian in the last 18 months
has done 400 million dollars
in revenue on lipstick kits and various
makeup things with kylie cosmetics
put that in perspective l'oreal
maybelline massive brands it took them
50 years as an organization with
thousands of employees
to do what kylie jenner did by herself
at 20 at 18. you're gonna laugh at the
kardashians
do you have to agree with everything
that kardashians no
but like abraham lincoln said
i learn from everybody even if sometimes
it's what not to do
so you can just go into the kardashians
reverse engineer their success go i like
this i like this i like this
i don't like that then leave out what
you don't like
i've never met a person who's
a deity you you dissect
anybody and we all are just
it's like mark twain said all humans are
like the moon you got your light side
and you have the dark side
if anybody watching wants their whole
life projected up on a screen for the
whole world
to watch from birth to today and you
think that it'll be
you wouldn't be embarrassed of a few
things you would be and i'm sure the
kardashians would be
and i'm sure there's things that i look
back in my life and i'm like you're an
idiot ty
but welcome to the idiot place called
planet earth there's just two kinds of
idiots people who know it and people who
don't
and if you're lost just sit down if
you're an entrepreneur sit down
and then reach out from where you're
sitting grab a book here grab this
listen to tom there's so many sources
and now we're the most spoiled
generation in the world because when you
and i got started
i started google adwords in 2001
okay i was i got lucky i just stumbled
and i was one of the first people to
ever use online advertising
i was in i think the second month google
adwords launched
and there was no youtube videos there
was no perry marshall books there was
there was nothing you just kind of
wasted money to learn
now we're the most spoiled generation
everything this computer on this phone
iphone 7
is more powerful than the first rocket
that put man on the moon
that cost billions of dollars now we get
that for under a thousand bucks
and people are still like i'm lost yes
you're lost sit down
and then open up safari and go
how to do google ads
and you're going to come up let's see
what i come up with
adwords they have their own tutorial
word stream
jumpify you got some paid stuff then you
have
some free stuff on hubspot if you sit in
a chair
charlie munger calls it assiduity put
your ass in a chair
sit there and focus without being you
know the average american right now the
average person in the world
our attention span has dropped to five
seconds the sad news is the average
goldfish has six seconds
we're now competing with goldfish and
the goldfish are winning
so if you don't have acid duty to sit
down
read there is no solution for you you
will always be poor
because you'll always be beat by
somebody who's willing to sit in the
chair is there a way for people to build
that discipline
yes pain and that's why i'm not a big
believer in delusion
you know you asked me one of the
rewiring things we have to do in this
world i'll tell you one
you ever heard this myth everything
happens for a reason so just accept it
well there's kind of truth to that if i
jump off a building and
break my legs yes everything happened
for a reason the reason was gravity
like that's why you break your legs and
physics legs brittle
concrete not brittle so that but
people interpret everything happens to a
reason be like well i was meant to learn
from that thing and then bs
read richard dawkins the selfish gene
one of the most important books
written in the last century he says
organisms that only learn through trial
and error
lose to organisms that can learn through
other people's trial and error
is anybody here we got a little live
audience anybody here
ever had to be hit by a car to learn to
look both ways
i didn't i kind of learned from just
somebody telling me
big car two tons velocity
smash dead and i now always look both
ways
so if your myth is that
the only way you're gonna learn is just
through massive mistakes in trial and
error you haven't read richard's talking
book
if you believe in evolution or even you
don't you believe in creationism or
whatever why do we have big brains
because we do have the biggest brains on
planet earth not always use them but we
got the biggest potential
it's to be able to what richard dawkins
called project
so you can literally sit in this chair
and predict outcomes
without having to do them
like so i can predict if i don't listen
to tom's advice
on how to do a physical snack bar and
get it into stores or physical product
by by playing hard to get for a year
like you did
then i can predict most likely
it's gonna not go well for me but i can
predict
that if i download what you did it's
gonna go better for me statistically and
that skill
makes you a powerful person very
powerful so explain though how
how does pain allow somebody to get more
disciplined
okay so going back to that myth of
when you see your life and anytime there
should be pain you go no no no no
it was just how it was meant to be no
look yourself in the mirror
sometimes and go you know why
i'm not happy it's because i didn't
listen
10 years ago and i got in the wrong
career you know i'm not happy
because i married the wrong damn person
it wasn't meant to happen yes everything
happens for a reason
you made a bad choice but it didn't have
to be that way and the second you build
up
pain and this by the way is not my
opinion if you talk to guys like dr
david buss
top 10 most cited uh psychologist in
history
okay he's one of my main mentors he told
me
i said do adults change like we do all
this self-help videos and podcasts i
said am i wasting my time
he goes yeah kind of i said why he said
well
after 25 it's very hard to teach old
dogs new tricks
by the way that's why i've changed most
of my stuff targets people 18 to 25.
that's why i do snapchat and all that
because there's hope for 18 to 25 years
now if you're over 25 before you get
depressed
he told me but i have good news for you
ty i said what
he said adults learn through massive
trauma
so you will learn you have to let in
some trauma into your life
and that's rough but no pain no gain
like if you are 100 pounds overweight
and you want to be able to play
basketball here's my news for you
everything happened for a reason you got
fat because you ate too much and you
didn't exercise
so welcome to the gym and the first year
is going to be hell
but that pain hopefully will reprogram
your brain that every time you want to
eat
that nasty thing go wait i don't want to
go through that pain again so
i think one of the myths of society is
we won't let pain in we just excuse it
all the way like no that was meant to
happen
oh you wasted 20 years of life and
married the wrong person in the wrong
career
no tom it wasn't meant to happen where's
the people who go
you [ __ ] up dude you wasted 20 years
and you will never get it back
you better go in your room and cry and
the truth is
you only learn as an adult unfortunately
most people can only change with mass
and trauma and it was funny i heard
this from dr bus a couple years ago and
i was lucky enough to sit next to kobe
bryant for the last like
three games of his career not the very
last one with the three ones so i sat at
the end of the lakers bench right next
to him
one of his players i won't say who was
having a bad game
free throws they're lined up the whole
stadium's quiet
kobe bryant yells out at him he goes
dude you suck
and he wasn't joking okay it was
shocking to me no one could hear unless
you're right now
but kobe turned to um meta world peace
ron artest who was sitting next to him
and he goes
this positive reinforcement thing is way
overrated people need to hear the truth
ryan kelly he turned around and looked
at
kobe and i was so impressed he said i
know he literally
sat down and said yep i'm lost this game
and i kid you not
the rest of the game he hadn't he
excelled he scored like 10 12 points off
the bench after that
and i was i was like see this kobe guy
gets it he's a winner
you can't always just bring pleasure and
pat everybody oh
he didn't say yo kelly you're kind of
not playing well but you know it's all
happening for a reason
buddy relax no pressure he just said
dude you suck it was like that and i'm
just going
okay this is the real kobe can i
tell you a fantasy of mine and and i say
this knowing full well
that my employees are listening right
now my fans so i've asked them all to
give me
aggressive feedback in real time to my
face in front of the entire team
okay and the reason that i want that one
i just want to know the truth because
it's the only way i'm going to get
better so i'm never afraid to look
stupid and i'm certainly not afraid to
admit when i'm lost
um two i wanna set the standard i want
people to see
that you should be able to emotionally
deal with somebody telling you that you
suck when you suck
my fantasy is to have that kind of
environment here at impact theory where
if you're sucking like i you don't need
to go out of your way to be mean but the
pain needs to be felt because i really
believe
what you were saying that certainly as
adults and it's probably true for kids
as well
you will learn when it hurts yes and the
only like people
it breaks most people and this is why
people don't use the strategy yes most
people at the free throw line kobe says
you suck
that ends their [ __ ] basketball
career dude like and if they were a 14
year old kid and kobe came and said you
suck
999 out of 1000 kids break the other one
kid goes on to be the next kobe bryant
right
so it but i want to be in that world
because it's made me sharper now i came
up in the
in the business world not so in the
business world i came up hard
i had mentors that were ruthlessly mean
to me
and in that process i thought there are
times i [ __ ] hate them
so much i can't see straight but i know
they're making me better
and so i went back every day every day
every day and i developed this notion
that
the entrepreneurs that do the best are
the ones that can self-soothe
the fastest yes because i needed to hear
it i needed to know that i sucked
then i needed to go very quickly get my
head back on
take that information and improve yeah
so one of the things i was talking about
dr david buss there's this test called
the dark triad test which
again anything important like this
nobody ever learned it in school because
schools are too stupid to take
real powerful science and apply it to
life but the dark triad
is a world view barometer for everybody
watching you can take it
there's a different free dark triad test
online
it tests for three main traits negative
qualities narcissism machiavellianism
and
being psychotic and i've personally
tested thousands and thousands of people
it's the most accurate
test and what happens narcissism okay
one of the symptoms of a narcissist it's
not just like oh i like to look in the
mirror right that's what we think of
narcissism
one of the classic symptoms is very
thin-skinned
they're always offended if you have a
friend that anything you say
constructively
they fall apart it's almost always
narcissism even if they're
introverted there's multiple forms
there's introverted narcissism
extroverted exploitative all these
different
sub-facets of narcissism but we live in
a society that's very narcissistic
you're told like uh everybody is a
winner no not everybody's a winner
that's like saying everybody's blonde
there's a definition of what blonde is
blonde is like this yellowish hair
so you lose meaning when you start going
everybody's blonde
well everybody doesn't win and the
sooner you wake up to that
that biology is ruthless man
then you get a little fear in you and
when you get a little fear in you
you start listening because if you're
truly afraid you listen let a little
fear come in and drive you and motivate
you
now what when i was uh about i don't
know
early 20s i was in mississippi with
these five mentors a guy allen nation
uh gary towns and dr gordon hazard all
these guys i really looked up to they
were like 60 years old
and they were the people like the only
millionaires i'd ever met i didn't grow
up i was born in long beach compton kind
of area and
never was around anybody who even make a
hundred grand a year so i meet these
guys i'm they're like come we're going
on a hunting trip in mississippi
i go down there and you know we're in
these
lodges cabins and then we're having hot
dogs over the fire
and they start drinking a little bit
they were normally nice you know kind of
southerners
and they kind of got me they're like so
what do you want to do man and i was
like i want to be an entrepreneur
and like oh really and they go what does
irr mean
and i was like i have no idea it means
er
like i didn't know that it meant
internal rate of return right
so one of them just goes you know you're
never going to amount to anything
there's zero chance you'll ever be a
successful entrepreneur
they all laughed and i was like i don't
cry i probably the last time i
got close to crying was that i was just
like devastated
but you know what i remember laying in
bed that night going
no one will ever make fun of me again
for not knowing about finance
so i became a cfp a certified financial
planner and to this day
i can hold my own around the most
powerful businessman in the world they
might know more than me
but i don't come off as a fool so that
was a turning point
pain moment that mississippi moment for
me i've sought those out
and the one problem is the more
successful you are
the less people that can say that to you
that you'll respect them
but i'm always trying to fill my you
know that old cliche you'd never be the
smartest person in the room and all that
it's i have a better way to say it be
around people
who make you uncomfortable at the ego
level
when you feel uncomfortable in settings
that is when the learning it's not just
who's smarter because sometimes smarter
people don't help you
there's many forms of iq there's
emotional you know but get around
someone where you're like
i kinda don't fit in
and because we're all narcissists
because of society and instagram and all
this
and i'm guilty of that too we don't like
to be uncomfortable because a narcissist
story to themselves is
you're the best and so you don't you
your world view
is messed up that's a wiring issue um
let me put it this way i meet people who
think they're smart okay
what it really tells me is they've never
been around actual smart people
if you're really smart watching this
let's say you have 155 iq
that's what bill gates has and albert
einstein were up there
my step-grandfather had 155 iq he speaks
14 language fluently he can
write chinese he's a chess master he can
play three other chess masters without
looking at the board while they look at
the board and beat all them
if you're smart you can do that if
you're not
i got good news for you warren buffett
says you only need about a 125 iq
to be very successful but it's better to
stay in your lane and just go
i'm not that smart but you can hire 155
iqs
but that's an example of what i'm
talking about of this rewiring
right so these practical things will
change your life all right since you
have a concept called
never be the [ __ ] of your own mind yes
what do you mean by that
your mind is driven by
deep evolutionary
drives so for example
narcissism is a protection mechanism
right so your mind wants to tell you
you're amazing
it makes you its [ __ ] you have to
override that and go
you know what i'm not that amazing so
let me go learn from amazing people
do you have methods for people to do
that because i think that's so important
so i tell people
don't trust everything that your mind
says certainly don't buy into all of
your emotions just because you have an
emotion doesn't mean you have to act in
accordance with that
um but how do you help people get over
that how do they overcome that
i think humans for the most part learn
by osmosis
so it's hard to lecture people into
success
but what you could do is you could
inspire people to understand this so for
example
if you could if school system could find
all the 14 year olds
and find out what they admire in people
right
it's the reason i show lamborghini's
ferraris is i got a lot of young
followers
and you know what 19 year old guys like
lamborghinis and ferraris
so i show that part of my life because
then they listen to the other stuff
so first you got to lead by inspiration
this has been proven over you cannot
pound stuff into people's brains people
actually do the opposite when parents
tell their kids
you gotta read nobody reads
but if i show a lamborghini ferrari
which is the reward that people want and
then people go how do you get it i said
see all these books i read them and put
it then people
i have more school kids reading books i
think than anyone in history i don't say
that cocky i'm telling you it astounds
me
because all i had to do was put up a
video with lamborghini's right
and so being the [ __ ] of your own brain
the way you learn not to be the easiest
way
is to be around people who aren't the
[ __ ] of their own brain like joel
salatin
my first mentor i was lucky enough right
out of high school instead of going to
college i was with him at 19
and he is not a [ __ ] of his brain he's
a man of
he wakes up and his life's more like of
duty he knows his duty
and whether it's hard or easy he plows
through it
so every day for example when you have
breakfast at six in the morning on a
farm
he writes out an organized thing on what
he wants to do for the day when you're
the [ __ ] of your brain you go i'm just
gonna
freewheel this day it's very it's very
hard to be organized
we're not dogs aren't organized you ever
see your dog organizing day
so if you wanna you can either act on
the animal side
which is just a wing life or you can
operate from a sense of logic and duty
and so i learned somewhat i'm not even
as good as joel
to not be the [ __ ] in my mind by just
being around him for a while
and so that's the best way find
somebody that you look at them and you
go this is a person
of discipline a motivation
self-motivation they don't need external
motivation they're motivated from within
and spend all the time you can around
them you know like
someone wants to learn from you i tell
people go walk up to
tom or a company like this and say yo
i'll work for you for free for years
if it need be because i need to be
around it's cumulative hours arnold
schwarzenegger in his book
one of the great autobiographies in my
opinion total recall
he has this principle it's called reps
and sets he said if you want muscles
it's reps and sets hours in the gym and
some people you know there's a lot of
books now and
here's how you can work out 15 minutes a
day no you can't you're never going to
look like arnold schwarzenegger
if you were outfit i don't care what bio
hacking crap you do
spare us this return to common sense you
want to be arnold
you got to do what arnold did in the
same way if you want to learn from
mentors if you think
five minutes with a mentor will be
enough you don't understand how deeply
rooted your
wire circuitry is you got to re-wire it
and it takes reps
instead of reps of sets it takes hours
and days or days and years
and so i think that if you're young
watching this
don't try to become a millionaire too
young
because what you should do when you're
young is work on the circuitry part
and then the money will come allen
nation told me that he said i don't try
to become a millionaire in your 20s
and i didn't listen to him and i wish i
had and luckily i kind of listened to
him
but i should have listened more and so
if you could take those formative years
and just go on the adventure of life
that's why i went to india in a leper
colony and went and live in the amish
because i was like
amish all the good stuff you have
reprogrammed my brain
i'm sure on the narcissism score now i
score around
40 to 50. which isn't horrific but isn't
the best like i'm
and i guarantee you if i hadn't gone to
the amish i'd have been an 80 narcissist
and my life would have sucked but now at
40 is kind of unacceptable 42 is last
test so it took me two and a half years
with them
you know and so i think even as an older
person man my dream
in life even today is to find some
badass
and trick them into spending like eight
hours a day
with me for three days a week and
whenever i do
like i said 45 minutes with arnold
schwarzenegger
i was so motivated like 45 minutes to
orange shorts and it lasted me like
seven days
and nothing i'm not i'm not big in
self-help like i watch people to
motivate me
that guy's a monster that's one big
believer i'm going to conferences
berkshire hathaway conference it's the
first
week of may of every year these dudes
are gonna die soon
charlie munger warren buffett you can
buy a bee share for under 500 bucks
buy a bee share you get a free ticket
it's insane
you sit there with two men on stage in a
stadium of 18 000 of the top
investors in the world cost you under
500 bucks
you sit there it's only one day i fly
into omaha and fly back out almost the
same day
and you walk out just motivated you're
with the guy that
their business you know we meet
businesses and they're like i'm doing a
100 million here they did 200 billion
in revenue last year and they're two
jolly guys that just kind of have fun
with life
and i'm like wow and last time first
year i went i sat next to a guy
the whole time didn't pay attention to
him and then i on the way out i talked
to him and found out he's basically one
of the richest guys in europe
and we became friends and he flew me to
germany to speak to he has 17 ceos who
work for
different companies he said come me and
then he walked me
from the hotel to do the speech and back
and i talked to this guy his name is
norman
rentrop and um he
in two hours walking to and from the
thing he explained how he built a media
empire
starting at age 12 to now he's in his
60s he let me download
40 years of experience i think he's a
billionaire i'm not sure he's
maybe not quite a billionaire but 40
years and that was
i think it's not coincidental that the
next year
i grew on social media because he was he
did old school media like magazines and
newsletters
and he told me like here's how you do it
and it just absorbed and within six
months
i was doing all the big stuff that
people see on social media but that
hinged on
me getting some people you got you know
a good thing for activity all your hard
workers
get out of the house you will not grind
it in front of your laptop
14 hours a day to success go to
conferences go to seminars
they are great ways in the modern world
to just meet people you never know who
you're sitting next to
i've probably gone to 20 events in 20
days now that's a little much
i go in bursts okay it's i'm a little
bit burned out
you can hear my voice but it was insane
that the data
i mean looking at cryptocurrency stuff
like bitcoin
if you put 100 in bitcoin in 2010 you
would have 75 million dollars today in
your bank account 100
wow is that working hard or is that
making good decisions
and so for all of you who are really big
on the hustle your ass off
hustle in the networking side it will
help you because
then you learn what to do from them and
the sad thing is
if you start a business and your first
business doesn't succeed
uh the way your brain works you have
dopamine receptors
they now scientists have found that
dopamine receptors add
or subtract so dopamine is the hormone
or the chemical in your brain that is
the reward chemical there's multiple
ones neuroepinephrine oxytocin all these
but
the way dopamine works is like when you
go shopping and you buy
cool shoes and you feel good that's a
dopamine release and dopamine drives us
and what happens is when you fail your
body
they're like little hairs they're not
actually hairs but will pretend they are
in your brain
they fall off you get less of them and
the penalty for having
less dopamine receptors is you become
less ambitious when you succeed
you actually grow more it's a new
science showing this
so the point being you should i'm not a
believer
in having people fail to in their first
business
forget that build a small business that
you're sure you can pull off
even dean smith maybe the greatest
basketball coach
college coach him and john wooden he
said he was never a believer
in setting goal you ever heard the thing
shoot for the stars because even if you
only hit halfway you go to the moon
he said he called bs on that he said
make a realistic goal hit it and then
make another one
you don't need so i mean entrepreneurs
are like hi i'm grinding away i'm like
what are you doing i'm building a
billion dollar business
a guy wrote me an email dude i'm
building a billion dollar business so i
wrote them back it was an email and i
said
oh really have you ever made a hundred
million dollar business no
have you ever made a 10 million dollar
business no this is our email chain i
should have a screenshot he's like no
have you ever made a hundred thousand no
and i said so let me get this straight
you're kind of like the dude there's a
lot of stairs in front of you
there's like 20 stairs to the top and
you're gonna do the
jump from one to twenty you know what
happens with people who jump too many
steps you can skip maybe two or three
steps
but one of my school teachers randy
thompson were growing up he tried to
jump up some stairs and he was holding
books
and he tripped on the third step
and hit his nose on the concrete and he
says the most painful surgery known to
mankind
to basically unplug your nose from
he cracked all the bone up into his face
and that's what most entrepreneurs do
they go no ty i'm going from zero to one
billion
no man as warren buffett said today's
the world series game seven
the way to win a baseball game it's
safer to just hit base hits
and if you hit a lot of base hits next
thing you know you hit home run and once
you've done that a few times you'll have
so many dopamine receptors
that you won't fail and so
i highly recommend if you're watching
and you're too by the way narcissism is
associated
with over ambition there is such a thing
about as being too
ambitious and there is such a thing as
being too obvious
what i always tell people you can have
massive vision
so one day your vision is like one of my
vision thing i'd love to own a pro
basketball team okay
but it's not in my annual goal
so you have goals that are short term
they're one day i like to set one day
goals most of my goals are just one day
but i'll have a vision that's longer so
don't separate
don't confuse vision and goals that's a
big mistake
and especially now that the science is
about dopamine receptors
you have this huge vision you jump up
seven stairs you trip fall
hit your nose and most people never come
back
you know win win when you can even if
it's small wins
it's better for them better for the
brain that makes a lot of sense
all right before i ask my final question
where can these guys find you online
you can go to tailorbiz.com you can do
instagram um
it's my snapchat if you want to see
behind the scenes it's all i i got
at tai lopez at almost everything both
verified
except i got a facebook account tai
lopez official
perfect all right final question what is
the impact
that you want to have on the world oh
man
what's the impact okay i'll give you two
answers one
it's probably narcissistic of me to
think that i can really have an
impact on the world so part of my answer
is
what the philosopher said let every man
sweep his own front porch and the whole
world will be clean
so i guess if i can figure out the
puzzle of life for myself
and maybe a few people see something
then they sweep their own front porch we
have a
clean world or cool life um
so that's the non-narcissistic side you
want to hear the pre-amish
yeah pure narcissistic no not purifying
um
i try to suppress that part i mean you
know
i call it the tombstone goal i think you
should think about your tombstone and
just reverse engineer it
so you go what do i want my tombstone to
say if i live to age 100
in order to get that what did my life
have to look by at 90 and at age 90 to
get that what did it have to look like
at 80. and you worked yourself backwards
today
so my obituary goal my my tombstone
i'd like my i like my tombstone to say
here lies a mad scientist the world
needs more mad scientists
and meaning people that are trying new
things yeah like i said
check out mahatma gandhi check out
martin luther king
malcolm x but those were mad scientists
and
go through the adventure of life with
that little mad scientist twinge in your
eye
and that's all i got that's all i got
it's pretty good
thanks so much for coming on the show
that was fantastic
guys this to me is the ultimate tale of
somebody who
was unhappy with the circumstances but
didn't want to sit around and do nothing
about it he knew exactly what he needed
to do and that was to find out the
answers he reaches out to his
grandfather and says
grandpa tell me what is the one thing
that i need to do the one book i need to
read the one person i need to talk to
that's going to give me the shortcut
that i need to get ahead
and his grandfather thankfully wrote him
back and said there is no shortcut
you're going to need to find a lot of
people to give you a lot of advice if
you wanna get where you're gonna go
and so ty put himself on a mission to
get out and get mentors and
long before he had any reason to be able
to convince these guys to do it
he did by like he said earlier being
willing to work for free by being
willing to do more than anybody else
and in the research the thing that i
found most fascinating is
years and years and years after working
with his first mentor
he is still singing his praises and he
said that tai
set the bar for every apprentice that
he's ever had after
and he's still never seen anybody that
had the kind of drive and determination
that ty did
and i think that's what marks his cause
he may think of himself as a mad
scientist
but what i see is somebody running
systematic experiments to find out what
works
always being willing to learn always
being willing to fail
learn from that try something new get
the result and ultimately you do that on
a long enough timeline with a
willingness to always learn grow and get
better and you get the man that is
literally pioneered social media so it's
really really incredible there's so much
to learn from him
but you have to be willing to be humble
and to look at what you can learn from
it
so that's it guys thank you so much if
you haven't already be sure to subscribe
and until next time my friends be
legendary take care
hi thank you so much
hey everybody thank you so much for
watching and being a part of this
community if you haven't already
be sure to subscribe you're going to get
weekly videos on building a growth
mindset cultivating grit
and unlocking your full potential
you