Kind: captions
Language: en
so I'd say 99% of personal development
is just behavior change and changing
your mindset this is kind of what we
hear the problem is it doesn't work or
works long-term or it brings what looks
like success but I can't tell you how
many successful people I've met that if
you get real with them are miserable and
that's not success either so you have to
change at an emotional level and the
emotion is what produces the story
everybody you're welcome to impact
Theory you were here my friends because
you believe that human potential is
nearly limitless but you know that
having potential is not the same as
actually doing something with it so our
goal with this show and company is to
introduce you to the people and ideas
that will help you actually execute on
your dreams all right today's guest is a
best-selling author who has built a
highly successful international personal
development company his incredibly
insightful and action oriented approach
to self-improvement has allowed him to
reach over 2 million people in over 100
countries through his writing online
courses seminars and retreats but oh my
friends that is not where he started at
21 he was a drug-fueled record executive
living these sex drugs and rock and roll
lifestyle until it not only got him
fired but almost landed him in jail
during a near-miss where he was pulled
over for suspicion of driving while
intoxicated he dodged a bullet when the
cop failed to find the eight ball of
cocaine sitting under his driver's seat
during the ordeal he promised himself
that if he avoided getting caught he'd
get clean and a few days later he did
exactly that flushing the coke and
beginning the long process of finding
out who he was without the drugs and
what he'd been avoided by using them the
man who would come out the other side of
that journey not only found sobriety but
found himself becoming one of the most
sought-after transformation artists on
the planet his dedication fresh raw
style and effectiveness saw him named to
Oprah super soul Sunday list Inc
magazine called him the next Tony
Robbins and Arianna Huffington said he's
a leader for those who long to live
lives that are more passionate and
soulful now more than a decade into his
life's mission he's created a whole new
approach to life intervention that he
calls functional life coaching it is a
no BS
almost scientific approach to helping
people work through trauma and find
their real purpose in life please help
me in welcoming the man that Oprah
called an up-and-coming thought leader
for the next generation of spiritual
thinkers the author of the new book
claim your power which at the time of
this recording is already in positions 1
2 & 3 in its respective category on
Amazon the hard-hitting Mastan Kip very
well said you described me better than I
can describe me that was fantastic I'm
not so sure about that I was I mean you
do you're incredible
thank you that means a lot I was really
really sucked into your universe I won't
lie it was a lot of fun researching
you've got a really hard hitting to me
is the right word and what I mean by
that is you take sort of the the really
esoteric notions of spirituality and
what's going on in self-improvement and
you bring it right down to earth and you
mentioned what you call the meat sack
and you said like a lot of these series
are great like on paper and the
spiritual realm but like you live a life
where you have an amygdala and it's
right I thought that was pretty
fascinating what do you mean by that I
think the thing that frustrates me the
most is there's two worlds that are
missing each other completely one of all
of these incredible spiritual truths
that has been well-documented for tens
of thousands of years in many different
traditions and then there are the people
who are very practical and they kind of
miss each other so one of the things
I've done because both my parents are
scientists so growing up I was very well
learned in the scientific method and
model was to understand like how can I
test this stuff out so that I can
actually prove it one way or another and
what does it actually mean and how do we
take it something very vague and make it
super specific because that's ultimately
the name of the game in any area as you
have sort of a general idea for a
business and you find out your niche
right same things true in you know these
larger ideas because you know we talk
about you know for example love your
neighbors yourself what does that mean
how could you boil that down and what I
found was most people had no clue like
you read all these personal development
books and there's all these words
abundance purpose love joy
you know passion excitement greatness
like everyone
buyers to these ideals that have no
common definition or understanding if in
the scientific community is sending me
there's a centimeter in China in the
United States in Japan in the UK we have
certain things where we weigh and
measure things in personal growth it's
kind of soft well you know so yeah it's
been frustrating to realize that there's
like the most important information on
the planet which is what informs our
values and our beliefs is the most
confusing it should be the other way
around it should be the simplest to
understand so part of my drive has been
to take these things that are very sort
of complicated in esoteric and sort of
at this point almost hallmark cards and
make it extremely actionable as it
relates to today because even the advice
that we got 5 or 10 years ago or 30
years ago is the same principles are
true but how we apply it today is very
different that's I love what you just
said about things becoming like Hallmark
cards one of my biggest frustrations
this used to drive me nuts so back in
quested a huge team we had 1400
employees and so you you have to shorten
things too like codifications right like
where you've boiled things down to a
nice simple sentence totally and the
simple sentence it's like really
powerful if you meditate on it right but
if you just hear the words they become
trite and so then people aren't getting
past that into something deeper what are
some like really powerful concepts you
think right now that people just are
missing completely well I think about
business is a great analogy so because
people can understand a business because
most people either incorporate or they
want to start a business that I know
anything about the team
right so what runs a team values but
then processes hmm so if all you know is
the process and you don't have context
for why you're doing it then it's just
checking off stuff if you have values
but no process you're scaling a mess and
that never works either so I think that
the most important thing is to have a
very crystal clear understanding of
what's the next step by step for you but
most importantly the most important
thing is what's the driver why are you
doing this and most people have no clue
why they want the goal why do I want a
billion followers on Instagram why do I
want to become a multi-millionaire a
billionaire why do I want to you know
harvest the moon for you know what was
it platinum or titanium or whatever it
was
with Naveen like what's the driving
force behind that some people are
conscious of that most people are
unconscious of that and so if we're
unconscious of what's driving us the
first practical step is understand
what's driving you and what drives every
human being to produce any goal or go
for anything is the desire to hit a
certain emotional target so what's so
ironic and to me seems so obvious but
it's something that every time I say it
people go there's an aha moment like wow
that's so true is that we pursue
external goals to hit an internal
emotional target which is sort of like
eating a carrot and you think it's pizza
or the other way around like it's like
it's knit you're never gonna actually
make it this is why no matter how
successful you become unless you
understand the emotions that you want to
cultivate you'll just be an empty shell
you won't actually have that success and
david geffen has a great quote he says
people who think money make you happy
don't have any right so at some point
you hit a threshold where you realize oh
my god I'm making all this money have a
low success and I'm still frustrated and
then there's this idea that like even if
I'm successful that's what I'm supposed
to be the most happy because there's
this idea or a mindset that success is
what brings happiness and nothing could
be further from the truth so the most
important thing for someone to focus on
is what drives you and the answer is
emotions the next question then becomes
well what emotions are driving me and
the answer to that question takes you
down a really deep rabbit hole into all
your past hurt all your unprocessed
traumas all your limiting beliefs
because your nervous system is going to
fight you like crazy not to bring those
emotions to life in a positive sense
because the nervous system associated
positive emotion with threat or
vulnerability and it's designed to keep
you safe and out of vulnerability so
that's why you feel like you're owning
your own worst enemy or you quote
self-sabotage right before something
major happens it's never self-sabotage
that's I think people who self-sabotage
panic attacks these are the worst names
you could label these things
self-sabotage is really self-protection
you know your nervous systems trying to
protect you from this uncertain threat
you know typically a panic attack is a
response to something like your
intuition screaming at you and you have
been listening for 30 years of course
you're gonna have a panic attack
the untypical II especially with
functional life coaching the main
assumption is this whatever the behavior
is that you want to change your current
behavior that's not working is the
appropriate response to
underlying condition it's your best
efforts so as a really interesting yeah
so the first thing you have to do is
figure out well what's going on here so
it's not necessarily a one two step
forward it's more like how can I go
inside and try to start to figure out
how am I starting to participate in my
reality how am I a part of you know the
problem that I'm seeing and that's
pretty much all I spend my time helping
people do I don't think people need to
become great I think people are great
and they have eleven pediments to great
to greatness you know the scrum process
for project development agile
development the scrum masters job is to
not make the team great it's to remove
impediments right and so as a coach
that's pretty much what I try to do too
is not make somebody great because I
think God or the university of a pretty
awesome job with your soul the meat sack
is the neurotransmitters it's the neural
pathways it's the myelin it's a
repetition it's them if the building of
the emotional fitness that's what I help
people with so the core assumption is
you're not broken let's just remove
impediments and so we got to go inside
and understand why you're stuck first
and foremost and most people are
terrified to go there yeah dude so one I
I'm sure you know how fresh vision that
is but as I was reading so that's long
been my big frustration is people are
sort of in one lane or the other right
and so they're they can't talk about the
realities of living today in a brain in
a body where do you know the story of
Phineas Gage no all right so Phineas
Gage is a railroad worker he was one of
the people and this happened probably
like either in their early nineteen
hundred's or late 18-hundreds working on
the railroad hits a tamping rod which is
like a three-foot metal spike it shoots
up through his chin out through the top
of his head he loses a teacup a teaspoon
teacup worth of brain matter never loses
consciousness and it fundamentally
changes his personality and so that was
where sort of neuroscience started with
okay clearly you damage a certain part
of the brain and the fundamental
behaviors of that person change forever
so when I was reading your stuff and you
were like everything from you can't put
something on a vision board and hope
that it's just going to come true
without doing the hard work to like
understand ego serves you here's why
understand that fear can be a compass
here's why
understanding myelination you talked
about the gut and the microbiome like
is this guy like this is madness so what
has driven that connection and how have
you seen it serve people to really
understand that the physicality of being
a human I blame my father who's a
scientist he's a he's a PhD in biology
he's and he's also a medic from in
Vietnam whoa
and so he's seen some stuff and I would
put him on the scale of Optimus to
skeptic like over here towards like
Scotty what he's like I can't come see
you in Asheville because Trump's gonna
shut down the government and I don't
want to be in North Carolina when he
does like that's where his mindset is
right now
right I'm like dad We Need to Talk right
so um but what's interesting is he's
hardcore science and like so I was
raised like almost blowing up carabiners
as a kid like in the lab you know like
when you're like light the you know the
the carabiners underneath that I was
obsessed with like mixing stuff together
that probably should have mixed together
so I grew up but like you know you have
a hypothesis and then testing it and if
you can if it continues to work out
that's what's a theory is like a equals
MC squared is a theory until it's proven
wrong and if you get personally wrong
once it's not a theory right it's a
hypothesis so that's kind of my training
but then the older I've gotten I've like
the woowoo side of me has emerged and I
definitely have a deep woowoo side of me
whether it's because of the mushrooms in
the ayahuasca but I also had a
near-death experience where I was about
15 16 years old almost died which
completely shifted me I also saw my best
friend's father passed away in the ICU
from cancer I was there when it happened
that fundamentally shifted my life so
I've had a hard time reconciling these
two sides and I'm convinced like in my
gut now that science is studying the
aftereffect of spirit or science is
studying the actor effect of the quantum
universe or the creator or God or
however you want to whatever you want
whatever word you want to use doesn't
matter and essentially at some point
we're gonna basically have a god
algorithm like we'll kind of figure it
out because all the universe's is a
bunch of patterns that we don't quite
recognize yet just all pattern
recognition right oh god can we go down
the rabbit hole I know we risk like sure
so there's a friend of mine a burgeoning
friendship I will say with a Caltech
quantum physicist who is so much fun to
talk to yeah he looks at things and so
he talks about that that what you're
looking at literally are just patterns
that arise out of what he calls that
that basically we live in a curve of
possibilities and if you think of any
any bell curve that what we experience
is reality is really just the most
probable things to rise out of the
quantum realm which is why there's no
like you can't yet make a theory that
connects what we see at the Newtonian
level and the Einsteinian level with
what we see and can measure at the
quantum level and so his theory an I'm
gonna do a horrible job but it's so
fascinating guy I pray you will all bear
with me while I indulge this fascination
I love this though but what he talked
about is that at at the most base level
in the quantum room it really is chaos
and what as you pull back and you're
looking at the macro level then you
begin to see these patterns that emerge
but they're emerging on a bell curve of
just the most likely right which is
really really interesting so tell me
more about your concept of patterns what
we can like what does it mean to have a
god algorithm like how does that because
you're so practical like how does that
feed back into what we should share on a
daily basis sure
so you just asked me to define a god
algorithm well being practical some be
my best okay no big deal no nothing at
all order at all so I always love it
when scientists used to word chaos such
arrogance because chaos to one person is
order to some another perspective so if
I'm an ant on the street of New York
City that looks like chaos but to the
bird looks like a completely normal
pattern right so I really disagree with
the assumption that it's chaos it's
probably a pattern we haven't recognized
yet I would have said I would assume
because from every perspective there's a
larger pattern that's happening I
believe so the core assumption that's
chaos I would disagree with until he can
prove it which he can't so therefore I
could be right but when you look at like
for example like the Ten Commandments
right or the Sermon on the Mount or some
of these or like Lotus Sutra with the
Buddha there are certain things that
they say like for example Jesus you know
above all the other Commandments he says
love God with all your heart might in
soul and love your neighbor as yourself
he didn't say be a Christian be a Jew
and me a Muslim be a Sikh but he just
said love God whenever they love your
Creator that's all he said
and it's an emotional state by the way
he didn't say think about God he said
love which is an active emotion and then
love your neighbor as yourself not your
Christian neighbor your white neighbor
your black neighbor your gay neighbor
your straight to just love your
neighbors yourself and he didn't mean
just your neighbor next to you what he
means is every other human being and
planet and animal on the planet so if if
that's a law so there's something to the
order of the universe where there is
there is law there are cause and effect
there is Karma
if I do this then this will happen and
eventually like you if you look at like
what's happening right now with
artificial intelligence you know the big
fear is um you know what will happen
when it becomes sort of super
intelligent if you will but the issue is
it's not really artificial intelligence
what we're what we're actually creating
is algorithms to be able to weigh and
measure beyond our own capacity what's
already happening that's all it is
so it's an extension of our own
intelligence everything that's happened
on this planet came from the earth
there's nothing artificial about it it's
actually very organic it's the natural
we've come to a place where we've always
outsourced the brain right from a second
we realized there was money we would
start like writing down one on the rock
with chalk like that was the first
upload to the cloud right it's just a
very primitive version of it so there's
nothing artificial about what's
happening it's but the question is how
much data can be taken how much can we
weigh and measure and then how many
different correlations can we come to
and my assumption is if we could take in
all the data that's happening all at
once in the entire universe then that's
pretty much what God does so it's
basically a set of patterns and right
and you know you look at like any
12-step process any healing process
there's a pattern for hitting rock
bottom there's a pattern for you know
how you are going to get better
everything is a pattern and a process
and so and then you put in the freewill
and that's where things get really
interesting with quantum physics because
you know every quantum scientist will
tell you well we can kind of think
what's going on is going on but the
problem is when we observe something we
don't know what someone's gonna choose
and so that's kind of like the part of
quantum physics where it's like not
quite a perfect algorithm and that's
where things get very interesting and I
think that's where probability comes in
because there's something about our own
ability to choose that throws the whole
a it's almost like there's there's like
God's plainly like dice and then
but then there's even more dice because
we're being able to choose what the hell
does that have to do with your day to
day life very simply put is this I think
that there are common patterns of
success and failure and what most people
do is they take a pattern that may have
been a failure pattern which by the way
failure only leads to more lessons right
so they take this idea of what failure
is and they don't just say that was a
result I produce they take it personally
and they take the pattern personally
it's like taking winter personally did
you imagine like oh my god such a cold
person right now like it makes no sense
it's just it's a predictable pattern so
with what's happening with the
quantified self world and what's
happening with all the things are
happening with AI what I love about AI
is it's not just quantitative analysis
its qualitative analysis is starting to
emerge and that's where I think the real
cool stuff is gonna start to happen
because vocally like what Apple Apple X
just got announced like facial
recognition like I guarantee you one day
you'll be able to send ads the people
have sad faces I guarantee you that will
happen Wow right like absolutely I mean
like it's gonna be amazing absolutely
right it's a buzz just pattern
recognitions right and that's exactly
what I mean if you think about like
synchronicity and all that Law of
Attraction stuff which is true just not
a complete complete thought there's a
lot more to it than just hoping for
stuff but you know it's it's the
universe responds to you and that's what
we're building out that model for
ourselves that sensor is what's
happening if we're made in God's image
then we're sort of recreating this in
our own image and we're being able to
identify all these different patterns
and there's all kinds of patterns
there's health patterns relationship
patterns purpose patterns there's what
are some of the patterns that people get
into they get them in trouble oh man
well I call them survival patterns
that's what I call them because most
people's nervous system is their enemy
and it should be their ally because it's
feeding like anxiety and feared that
they don't know how to respond to or on
what ways that they're in it well if you
look at like the evolution of the human
nervous system it's it's I mean
literally from the beginning and when we
started to evolve with millions of years
old right so it needs a software upgrade
a little bit because the problem is back
when it was you know just like lion and
tiger days usually something orange that
kind of looks like a lion the eight died
10 years ago you're gonna get out of
there right you're not gonna question
whether it
you know something different today we go
through some type of traumatic event
when were a child that's either
significant or something simple like my
father was five minutes late picking me
up from school doesn't have to be some
huge trauma we make up a meaning and we
make up some interpretation of that
event and then we continue to recreate
it because anything outside of that
seems like a threat and so the nervous
system says you know what John when I
was 21 cheated on me so a wise person or
a smart person would say well John is a
cheater but the nervous system says all
men are cheaters it generalizes to keep
you safe so from a survival perspective
totally fine problem is if you want to
crush it
you have to thrive and you have to start
to question is this a real fear or is
this an irrational fear the
psychiatrists and psychologists call
irrational fears neuroses I don't think
that's a see the problem with that field
is that they pathologize everything it's
not it's not an irrational pattern at
all if you look at the underlying trauma
the procrastination the you know the
fear of failure their perfectionism the
distraction the confusion whatever
however it's manifesting is an
appropriate response to the underlying
trauma that has not been healed that
that's something really interesting the
way that you teach is that all of these
things are trying to wake you up right
you take people through this whole like
it's trying to wake you up out of
something or you do an awesome analogy I
love this one about it's the pattern you
were just talking about it's like
stepping on a nail and thinking that you
don't need to take the nail out and then
you know clean it and look heal right so
walk us through like what what is the
body trying to tell us what how do
people get out of those patterns sure so
the way that you do it is the same way
that you would clean a cut it's exactly
the same so so let's just say that
you're using the analogy than nail
you're walking down the street and you
step on a nail but you don't know it you
just experience pain the foot well you
don't just keep walking and you say well
you know what I'm experiencing perfect
health right now namaste
like you don't do that no one does that
right you look down at the nail and you
go holy [ __ ] my foot and think yourself
do I need to go to the hospital or can I
handle this if it's a significant enough
wound you got to get some support or
help or mentorship or you know the ER
whatever might be if it's not what do
you do well first of all you bring your
attention to it then you remove the nail
then you would clean it out then you
would bandage it and then you wouldn't
stress about whether the body's gonna
heal or not you just let the body heal
and when it's healed you wouldn't harp
on what happened 10 years ago when you
stepped on that nail you'd forget about
it but what we do is we go through the
wounding emotionally it's invisible you
can't see it yet
that'd be cool one day when you can and
what we do is we say oh no not there and
so instead of like looking at it we
don't even look at it and then we start
to feel the pain instead of like going
why is that there we go oh no pain you
know these negative thoughts or like
Voldemort's gonna show up if I think
negative thoughts so I'm gonna think
only positive thoughts but you're
keeping down all this negative thoughts
making yourself wrong pathologizing it
and that's kind of like shooting
lidocaine into your foot to make the
pain go away temporarily and then
eventually like you're the doctor and
doctor says your whole leg has gangrene
and you're thinking yourself like how is
that possible we mean how is it possible
ten years ago when you got the nail in
your foot you did you just shot pain
killer into it you didn't look right so
it's the exact same thing emotionally
there's wounds or traumas that we have
and we stuff them down we don't look at
them we don't clear them right most
doctors if you come in for high
cholesterol will just give you a statin
which lowers the cholesterol
artificially functional doctors say why
is your cholesterol high oh my god you
eat cinnamon rolls ten times a day let's
stop that and give you kale and see what
happens right and to what you say
[ __ ] your money feels but no you can
change that stuff with lifestyle and if
you're suppressing it with medicine
which is obviously bad but if you're
suppressing it with medicine you'll
never discover the root cause well
that's true emotional eeeh mentally and
what I kind of stumbled on was like hey
there's kind of a root cause and there's
kind of a process for that and when you
clear it like what's amazing is when you
clear the underlying emotional issues
the thinking changes so this idea that
change your thoughts change your life is
complete it's just not deep enough
because it's the emotional states that
produce the thoughts so you could if you
have it if you have an uncleared trauma
and you're trying to meditate and a
retreat for ten days like god bless you
like you're gonna be living in hell you
know it has nothing to do with your
inability to calm your mind down it your
body is trying to wake you up and pay
attention
and you're trying to push it down it's
never a good idea you have a really fun
quote about that which is you can't just
chant your pain away you have to do the
hard work and yeah like I really that
makes a lot a lot of sense and and the
analogy between medicine and what's
going on spiritually I found really
effective to reframe the problem and
that brings me to so the name of
functional life coaching so hearing you
talk about functional medicine hearing
you talk about the microbiome that you
actually have a deep understanding of
neurology and brain chemistry I was
really really impressed with that and
how you could talk about the you know
deeply spiritual stuff or brain science
as you know easily as the other what is
it about functional medicine that got
you interested and do you have that so
you've alluded to that process of
getting people out but how do you help
them find the root cause and then what
do they do once they find it I know in
your book you for this but like what
does that look like sure so um I've been
doing this work more or less my whole
life I was coming born this way
unfortunately for my parents but you
know the last 10 years when I decided to
get into like this type of work I just
start working with people so last two
years I've been in a lot of sort of like
um you know like trying to like really
figure out like what do i do how do I
describe in a concrete way and I was
actually at a meeting with dr. Jeffrey
bland who created functional medicine
and really fast just tell people what
functional medicine oh ok so functional
medicine what they do is instead of just
having a symptom based diagnosis they
try to figure out why is it there in the
first place so for example if you have
high cholesterol which is like very
common or if you have like you know
pre-diabetes which is super common you
know most doctors will just give you
metformin or insulin for the
pre-diabetes and or you know sort of a
statin for the cholesterol take your
good functional medicine doctors say why
do you have high cholesterol why'd you
have pre-diabetes and they said look at
blood sugar levels anyone see levels
it's a look at fatty liver they said
look at your microbiome it's like a look
at you know how much are you producing
the neurotransmitters do you even have
good bacteria in your gut do you have
heavy metals are you eating enough fat
to fuel the hormones and Arness
sorry to like live a healthy body like
there's a negative medicine functional
medicine these are all sort of the same
item name for the same idea and what
they do is they find out why is why why
is your body having this chronic issue
and then they give you a prescriptive
method that will help you identify and
heal the root cause rather than just
suppress the actual symptoms and one of
the things I found so interesting about
functional medicine is the way that it
looks like to me logically it should be
called holistic medicine which has
already been consumed and so that
obviously would be misleading yep but
they're looking at diet they're looking
at the human as a super organism they're
looking at environmental toxins they're
looking at everything in conjunction
which is that's right one of the things
that and I'm sure this is where you're
headed one of the things that I liked
about your approach is it takes a much
more all-encompassing approach to where
you are and how you get a hundred
percent well the thing about like I'm
not getting Sal Apothic medicine because
functional medicine is a part of
allopathic medicine
it's just that sort of innovation on it
and you look at like a lot of allopathic
doctors only and they look at like just
one area in isolation as if that's the
only a problem you know but that's just
never the case because the body is a
system and so functional medicine just
helps people understand why they're sick
in the first place
and gives prescriptive medications for
the root cause which is different I know
you've had to be in Jane on the show by
the way I love him so much she is like a
huge inspiration for me I love the he
like calls like Brandt's and all those
guys like the small thinkers because
they orbit the earth he's going to the
moon you know like I just eats awesome
yeah only Naveen would say I know it's
amazing I'm quoting him I didn't say
that myself but you know he talks about
with hope with all the volume work it's
a different mindset and we're evolving
into this and the reason why it's gonna
have to happen is because this is what
these are the people are getting the
results and like normal doctors will
call but functional medicine does almost
miraculous but functional doctors are
like it's obvious you know so it's just
it's a big mindset shift there's more
solutions available now than possible
and so as I watch that field emerge and
I started understand the thinking behind
it I said oh my god I do that with the
invisible emotional stuff and so the
process is actually very simple but
getting there is a journey so I'd say
99% of
development is just behavior change and
changing your mindset this is kind of
what we hear the problem is it doesn't
work or works long-term or it brings
what looks like success but I can't tell
you how many successful people I've met
that if you get real with them are
miserable and that's not success either
so you have to change at an emotional
level and the emotion is what produces
the story it's also very uncomfortable
so the natural thing that we want to do
is soothe so it's temper it's kind of
like think like addiction right
addiction is just a coping mechanism for
the underlying trauma whatever you're
trying whatever you're addicted to it's
a it's a really bad solution to the
problem so that's and so people don't
have an awareness like oh my god it's
not that something's wrong with me I
just have an underlying trauma I have
been cleared let's go figure that out
and so that emotional layer is also
scary because when you descend into the
emotional layer you're not gonna meet
the good emotions first you're gonna
meet all the stuff you push down first
and people want to run from that but we
know the latest research shows that when
that the emotion is triggered in the
body
it only takes 90 seconds for the bio for
all of the all of the the juice of that
emotion to run through the body before
it stops the problem is it keeps getting
read triggered over and over and over
and over and over again so you could be
90 seconds away from a breakthrough for
10 30 years if you're not living your
purpose if you're not giving what you're
meant to give to the world and you're
anxious don't take a pill you're gonna
numb yourself negative emotion is a call
for awareness just like pain is there's
something that needs your attention
that's why people say they have a panic
attack it's really a blake up call
that's what a panic attack really is
something is trying to get your
attention the last thing you want to do
chronically is numb it with drugs
alcohol or prescription medication you
want to understand why it's there and
when you understand why it's there and
that you know what maybe you didn't make
the right interpretation or maybe you
didn't see it fully or properly back
when you were five and you realized
there's just a scared five-year-old
running your life even if you're 45 55
65 you can that's what claiming your
power is is you can say I can make a
different choice and when you start to
make a different choice so when you say
the book claim your power that's are you
talking about that moment right there we
have to get to and are we gonna tie that
you've talked very eloquently about
Viktor Frankl is that that connection
yeah so basically if I the oversimplify
logotherapy Viktor Frankl he wrote man
search for meaning he was at Auschwitz
he
most of his family but what he studied
in Auschwitz which is a interesting
place to study for sure was that the
people who lived beyond the ones who
were taken to the gas chambers had an
interpretation or a meaning which is his
word but I think people are confused by
that word sometimes so he's the word
interpretation they people had an
interpretation or belief that the future
will be better even in the middle of
hell they believe that something better
is gonna come from this those are the
ones who thrived in the worst conditions
on earth and so Franco recognized this
and so his big sort of contribution is
stimulus-response
in between those two moments as a choice
and so that's where your power lies and
that is what most people outsource other
people and what is that choice
it's these are the ultimate choices what
does this mean or what is my
interpretation of this event how am I
going to see this are you gonna see this
as a breakthrough are you gonna see this
as the end are you gonna see this as an
opportunity to grow or you're gonna see
this is the reason why you're not enough
and anyone who's starting successful
business and done entrepreneurial work I
mean that is a that is a meaning you get
a PhD in meaning when you start doing
work like that because you know when you
start a business or you get into a
relationship
god forbid you if you do both at the
same time right you're gonna just be in
a battlefield of stuff going out of your
going crazy things you don't see coming
you know let in a little school you
study and then take the test but in life
you take the test and then you study
right it's in the way around so if your
meaning is I'm not enough I'll never be
successful this isn't working and then
you'll stop right before a breakthrough
and how many times in the business does
the breakthrough happen right after some
type of failure every single time so you
better look at that failure and go this
isn't a reason to stop I'm one step
closer to figure out the answer Edison
said I didn't fail 10,000 times right
that wasn't what it was about it was
10,000 different experiments it that the
meaning is what a health Edison become
you know make his discoveries so that's
the number one choice that we have it
doesn't mean that you stick your head in
the sand and say my emotions aren't
there what you do is you say why are
they there and if you say they're there
because I'm depressed then guess what
that's what you'll find you're depressed
maybe there's another reason why you're
depressed if then
they're there because I'm repressed and
we're pressing my soul I'm repressing my
purpose and I get to go on an expedition
hunt to figure out why and after that it
wouldn't be free even when this this is
gonna feel like a kick in the teeth by
the end of this I'm gonna come out the
other side and I'm gonna just I'm gonna
be crushing it that's a very different
meaning and you got to kind of fake it
till you make it
but it's not Pollyanna it's not sticking
your head in the sand it's a very it's
actually very pragmatic and every single
high achiever high performer has been
able to do that the real juice of life
is emotional fitness and it's harder to
see it because it's invisible but that
starts with meaning once you pick a
meaning which is always your choice then
you can start to build a great life very
practically Tony Robbins asked Nelson
Mandela what were you doing all those
years in jail and Mandela said I'm
preparing that's a choice he made to see
it that way most people would say you
know I'm a victim of the system or
whatever and that one meaning change the
world and so that's that's our primary
power and most people don't think they
have that they don't know they have that
they think it's some Pollyanna [ __ ]
when really it's like what creates all
the resilience all the change all the
entrepreneurs all the world changers if
you had took all of them they would all
agree with me because that's the one
choice that we have but the problem is
there's this nervous system and this
unhealed trauma that gets in the way so
the goal is to kind of take it all in
one sort of package so that we can kind
of just handle it basically I am so
curious to know if I would feel this way
if I hadn't read your book but listening
to you talk it it feels like the hero's
journey of course your whole book is
literally built like the hero's journey
you break into the four parts there's a
ton of joseph campbell clothes which was
really really interesting and I know
that you rewatch or we listen to the
power of myth yeah which is totally I'm
totally work maybe the research that's
cool for sure and you were well worth it
I assure you
and Joseph Campbell's specifically with
the hero's journey like how is that what
you think this is like if somebody does
this work is that what it's gonna feel
like on the other side is it them as the
hero of their own life finally like what
made that analogy so Powell sure so I
love stories like well told
primary science fiction and personal
growth and long story short I figured
out that the same thing because I
started study film and I love Star Wars
and I started saying George Lucas I
started studying then his whole tribe
Spielberg and Coppola that all led me to
Kurosawa and all Kurosawa films and I
saw Seven Samurai said holy [ __ ] that's
Star Wars like makes told like nothing
original not Star Wars now if you see
Seven Samurai even though it's amazing
but like all these guys especially
George Lucas like love Joseph Campbell
and George Lucas credits the here with a
thousand faces as like the underpinning
of like Star Wars in your hope and like
helped him frame because it's such a big
story it sounds like who's this Joseph
Campbell guy so I started be Joseph
Campbell and I said oh my god this is
some next-level stuff and the hero's
journey like you see it everywhere in
every film every story every movie every
you know every great transformation this
is the process and Campbell created this
process because he was a professor for
at Sarah Lawrence for 40 years he
studied comparative religions which very
simply is when you compare religions
right and what he saw was these common
trends or common themes and he
synthesized that into the hero's journey
so I obsessively studied this stuff and
then along the way started learning more
about personal growth and the work of
Kaelyn mates she talks of archetypes
which are these Universal patterns like
the Wicked Witch or the mentor and then
I started saying archetypes and then I
started learning that Carl Jung was kind
of the guy who brought that around with
the idea of archetypes and the
collective unconscious and then you
realized Jung and Joseph Campbell were
kind of like contemporaries in a certain
sense even though Jung was I mean since
a contemporaries but they were you know
Campbell was highly influenced by Jung's
work and I realized oh my god stories
are the sort of out picturing or the way
we tell the own journey that we have to
go through and most people live Icaria
see through a film or through a story
and what I realized was like oh my god
let's keep people on their own journey
how the hell would I do that and so 100%
it's like you are the hero of your own
life that's why I think superhero movies
are so big right now so some people are
not living a super super life it's like
oh my god I'll be Superman or Batman or
I'll be wondering woman or whatever it
might be you know Wonder Woman was such
a hit because it represents I think big
expression of folks we're about to see a
huge explosion
feminine and empowerment on a whole
nother level the next 10 or 15 years for
sure which I can talk about but it
represents the unlived life and so I
wanna help people step into that life
the problem is it's one thing to like
watch Luke in the Death Star you know
and he like turns off his targeting
computer and then blows up the Death
Star something to watch it and be like
yeah there's nothing to be in it
freaking out going like what the [ __ ]
you know like like most people like
their journey will feel like they're
dying so they'd rather outsource it
versus recognizing you know what I had
to live it and the most important I
think the most important virtue that we
could have is courage because without
courage nothing else is possible and
courage feels very practically like this
oh my [ __ ] god I'm about to die
that's a courage feels like doesn't feel
like I'm all strong and [ __ ] like no
you're terrified and so the more
terrified you can be the better
essentially so yeah that makes sense
know that I I love that more than you
know I won't go into my whole obsession
with that as well but I want to talk
about CIA sure so courageous imperfect
action yes that the way that you just
describe that is is so on the money and
I think people are so expecting that I
think they just write themselves off
right like I guess I'm just not a
courageous person or I'm gonna have to
fake the funk or whatever it is how do
you help people step into that to find
that okay that's the truth of the matter
so now how do we embody that how do we
take over the role of hero in our own
life sure so every hero has a mentor
right so Luke had obi-wan Kenobi and the
cool thing about mentor is the mentor
disappears at the end so the hero can
figure it out for themselves
so but you need a mentor you need a
structure in a system and you need to
implement so anyone who's great has
support so I'm a big believer in having
mentorship and mentorship not like like
for example if you want a relationship
don't like make your bitter single
friend your relationship mentor like bad
idea right you want to like get a mentor
who's consistently lived and produced
those results and the estructura system
that implements that over time because
there's the breakthrough or the aha
moment but then there's it takes time to
implement that and reassociate your
nervous system to whatever it is that
you want to create and then you actually
have to implement so CIA tends for
courageous imperfect action
and quite practically courageous means
I'm freaking out this is I think I'm
gonna die imperfect means I'm doing it
totally messy there's mistakes
everywhere and action means you're
actually doing it and you're not you
know just reading about it so if you can
just be scared shitless and be super
messy and take action every day you'll
be great you get people to take that
first step like in in my world that is
the one thing that I fight with all the
time people want to know like how do I
get started like they have this sense
that they need to figure something out
they need to research something instead
of acting like how do you get people to
go analysis paralysis
yeah that happens yeah there's a lot of
reasons a lot of things that people say
they have to do beforehand I thought the
perfect trainer the perfect this that
that this you know we over one of the
greatest survival powders I've seen
lately with especial with high achievers
is like overcomplicating very simple
things and over like most the time like
we're look at Occam's razor Occam's
razor basically says given all things
being equal the simplest solution tends
to be accurate so how do we get people
to do it you just [ __ ] jump and I
basically what I do is I tease them I
call [ __ ] I use direct language and
what I'll turn Utley do if they really
need to push is I'll link them stepping
into uncertainty with whatever they
value most so I had a woman once who
cared about her family tremendously and
I was helping her process some childhood
abuse and her nervous system said any
level of success beyond this what the
unconscious belief was I'll react spiri
'end to me essentially when she realized
that holding herself back and not going
forward in her business was letting the
people who abused her win because she
wouldn't go to provide more for her
family because she was keeping herself
stuck she's on her own said [ __ ] that I
mean I when I went so before her nervous
system said oh my god uncertainty equals
revisiting this abuse that I went
through now her conscious mind says if I
don't go into uncertainty the people who
hurt me are effectively hurting my
children [ __ ] that
so you got to find that leverage point
you know I learned that from Tony
Robbins Tony says how do you get someone
to change doesn't want change and like
every codependent in the room goes Wow
right homie I've been trying to figure
this out my whole life right
but the real reason the real thing is
you gotta find leverage right what
motivates somebody and everybody has
something that motivates them so if you
can learn how to link what motivates
somebody with forward momentum then you
can get them off their ass and then if
you have that mentor instructor system
of support for a period of time you can
kind of sustain them there but I don't
know anyone who does it by themselves
the idea that I can do it by myself I'm
an island doesn't never works ever I
love that leverage is a really really
good point and reframing in that like
getting her to see that in a new way now
you've talked about fear being a compass
is that an example of that do you have
another example Eric what do you mean
exactly yeah so like especially like in
the in the self-help community there's
just a couple things fear means false
evidence appearing real or fear is the
opposite of love there's this idea or
that you know there's no such thing as
fear and I'm like okay but what about my
one of my clients who is like on the
frontlines in the Marine Corps in
Afghanistan you tell him fear as false
evidence appearing real come on
right or like someone who's been through
any levels of abuse or does anyone who
watches the news right like fear is real
and in and of this human world this
physical plane that we live in and so
there's practical fear which is if I'm
in a burning building
I must leave so if you don't stay in the
burning building and say mass instead
face my fears right like don't do that
it's not smart it's good bad timing on
that yeah so but most of the time you're
gonna be afraid right before the biggest
breakthrough of your life so you know
think about right before your first kiss
or a point went to college or right
before you started a company in the
garage right or right before maybe you
left the company to do your passion or
right before any major event there's
tremendous fear so if that's the case
fear actually has been misinterpreted
and if you think about the Greeks they
had multiple words for love you know
agape is very different than eros right
very different but yet we have one word
for fear it makes no sense so there's
different types of fear and there's the
fear of like right before I ever go
onstage I'm terrified every time and
that to me means then that energy is
there and I'm ready it doesn't mean like
I should freak out
so we have to understand that like
before every major event in our lives
that's going to move us forward we will
be terrified and so if we can start to
see that fear
as a compass then we know I'm going in
that direction so people tell me all the
time I don't know what to do
[ __ ] do the thing you're most afraid
of and then do it to me not afraid of it
can't be that simple it's that [ __ ]
simple no I got a research at first no
just [ __ ] do the thing you're most
afraid of and do it until you're not
scared anymore and that's how we grow
and I think the people who are the most
successful either consciously or
unconsciously understand that and they
just hang with it yeah I can imagine
starting a business and scaling the
start a business is one thing scaling it
that I 1,400 employees I bough I can
barely handle ten you know like I don't
know how you guys do that but it's it's
very difficult you know and one of my
friends has that company that he's
scaling and he was like all
micromanaging his team and then he left
cuz the family emergency came back three
months later the team was doing better
without him you know so it's at every
level this this this fear is there you
know and it's more about just letting it
go and the way you let it go is to
experience it consistently until it's
just your nervous system sort of
normalizes with that do you have a
process for helping people understand
how to deal with not just the fear cuz I
get that do it right immersion therapy
but when they mess up and something goes
wrong and they feel like see my fears
were validated like do you have a
process for getting them into the Thomas
Edison frame of mind like where that
look like it's basically consistent
reminders like for example like I have a
meal plan I forget where my afternoon
snack is every day I have to look at it
every day I forget even though it's the
most of the most importance of is my
food like all right okay got it so it's
about that that's why that structure of
support is so important is that
consistently reminding people of the
basics I think some people a mature
mindset says Oh give me more information
this level-2 level-3 up sell stuff and
personal growth like quite frankly when
someone comes in works with me and like
in a coaching program there's no new
information it's all implementation
there's no like secret level to
information it's just like let's make
this [ __ ] happen so the way that you do
it is you get around people who have a
like-minded you know mindset so that you
see when you start to do new things if
you're around people who aren't you're
not going to be supported you're not
gonna be they're not gonna cheer you're
wanting to talk about all the reasons
why you can't so you have to have a
really good tribe of people that had
those same shared values then you have
to self-disclose
in that try
because all the high achievers don't
want to be all vulnerable and say I'm
having a hard time in my business right
see if the self-disclose around that
tribe and let them support you and then
you just have to hang with that process
for a period of time and recognize that
you're building the muscle like myelin
for example which is like the connective
tissue that helps us real form habits
and make things automatic you gotta
build it through repetition so that's
what emotional fitness is really all
about there's three levels to emotional
fitness the first level is emotional
awareness you have to know you have
emotions most people don't I do I feel
nothing it's like [ __ ] you have like
30,000 feelings under there the next
level is emotional intelligence which is
like what are my feelings oh that's
hatred that's shame that's joy that's
love and the third level is emotional
fitness and any fitness physical or
emotional is trained and the more that
you can live in training the more that
you can live that as a lifestyle then
when things go wrong cuz they will you
know go things are going wrong you go oh
yeah I got this because you can anyone
who doesn't anticipate a curveball is
just not understanding the rules of the
game so when no for me especially like
during our product launch technology
always breaks so instead of a matte and
it matted infusionsoft for breaking I
cuz it always does right I go oh yeah at
broke again let's fix it and that's for
any technology right so it gets it and
that's learning the pattern of the
process so to understand that you hit a
plateau and understand that you've
relapsed or that you went back into old
thinking if you know you're gonna do
that ahead of time then when you're
there you can get out faster versus this
perfectionist thought people have this
insane idea that I'm gonna change my
life I have to be equally as good at
something I just learned and something
I've been doing for decades which is an
insane thought you have to kind of take
that childlike mindset back on and when
you're in a tribe and you have a mentor
then you can go a lot faster because you
will go back off course consistently it
just happens you've said that a master
somebody who was a beginner who kept
beginning yes you mean by that well so
I'm Matt I think masters as a mindset
and any high achiever has that process
but every person who's is that I've met
who's been successful and I'm talking
not like it's just like I'm like epic
levels of success but who are also happy
which is really rare the
percentage of people who are financially
successful is very rare of those people
who are actually happy every single one
of them is curious they're open and
they're like anyone any idea it's like
something new and they have a child like
not childish childlike mindset that says
oh I mean let me consider that and so
they just consistently begin again and
again and again and they're they're out
there open they don't think like oh
because I'm successful I know everything
I think the more successful people
become probably the more humble they
would become because realize how much
they don't know and so this idea that I
get to begin again and again and again
gets rid of any assumption that now I'm
an expert like anyone calls themselves
an expert like you're an ego maniac you
have a tiny fraction of knowledge and
you call yourself an expert there's no
way your expert you might have some
education in that area but we don't
there's a lot of stuff that we don't
know so I think that there's this big
ability to remain childlike and just see
yourself as always at the starting point
and that's how you remain hungry and I
think the most important thing I'll go
woo woo for a second the people who
become successful who think they're the
cause of their success are the most
unhappy people who go get successful and
realize it's a gift of spirit and that
they just worked hard are the ones who
remain happy so the idea that I am my
successes are really talking toxic
thought as well so if I can keep
beginning and have that beginner's
mindset consistently I will be happy
I'll be innovative I'll consistently be
learning it'll be a pleasure to be
around
alright before I asked my last question
where can these guys find you oh so the
book is that claim your power book calm
and with the book I actually didn't want
to write a self-help book I wrote it's I
see it as an implementation guide so
part of that when you're cleaning up our
book calm is a free course where you can
just have me coach you along with you
through the book so you want to go
through it by yourself and then from
everything else is just masking Kip calm
or at masse and Kip on all the platforms
all right what is the impact that you
want to have on the world as a great
question and I've contemplated this
question a lot and it's a moonshot so my
moonshot in my lifetime is to end
emotional trauma that's my goal in my
lifetime I hope I can do that because if
we do that then by default we'll have
heaven on earth I think that that's the
route
of all the problems that we're seeing
out there today awesome thank you so
much for asking I love it
alright guys you're gonna have fun with
this one it is the rarer individual that
you're ever gonna find anywhere in any
space that can blend the two worlds of
real science talking about functional
medicine talking about the brain neuro
chemistry myelination and then talking
about deep spirituality god the quantum
realm whatever you want to call it
whatever your word is it is absolutely
fascinating to see him go back and forth
between the two and to really hold
himself to a standard of usability and
his book does read exactly like he wants
it to which is an instruction manual
it's an implementation guide it's he's
there with you he's walking you through
it it's broken into 40 days it's four
parts it is literally the hero's journey
it's got all the things you're gonna
need to break down your own emotion to
prioritize to figure out how you
prioritize them to crawl underneath the
hood to figure out what's driving them
to identify the things that are creating
your behavior so not just dealing with
the symptoms but really dealing with the
root cause I think that his correlation
between functional medicine and
functional life coaching is so spot-on I
think you guys are really gonna get a
lot out of it be sure to check it out
and his book isn't one two and three on
Amazon right now that's madness and if
you're wondering like I did how that's
possible
it is the Kindle version the physical
version and the what audible version are
your book yeah yeah all three right
there one two and three not bad so you
guys can't go wrong dive in you're gonna
have a great time if you haven't already
be sure to subscribe and until next time
my friends be legendary
take care
thank you guys so much for watching and
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