Kind: captions
Language: en
what is up everybody welcome back to the
24 hour live I am here with dr. finesse
and we're gonna be going hard on that
networking yes yeah and it's so
fascinating that you of all people are
so good at networking because I consider
you like wanting to be at home I mean
you're sort of self-professed
not somebody that would love to be out
and be partying but you were in humanly
good at networking so I appreciate that
I appreciate that and you were very very
right I love to be home I remember one
time I want to say this is about three
months ago we didn't have a babysitter
and my wife Brenda stayed home with my
son Allison and I was out in the bout
and I was talking to some friends and
one of my friends came up to me and she
goes oh man so Brenda's home like yeah
she's home babysitting is just so how do
you guys do that when you can't get a
babysitter do you guys flip a coin to
see who gets to go and I was like no we
actually do the exact opposite we flip
to see who gets to stay home because
we're both like the biggest homebodies
queen yes we all need a babysitter and
stay home we've done that before we've
gotten a babysitter and we're like take
the kid out the house we just want to
stay home and watch our stories but yeah
I know you and Lisa are also a homebody
oh yeah we're exactly the same way it's
interesting because so the reason that
we wanted to do this segment is it has
become very clear to me over the last
couple of years that networking is
really really important and when I was
in my 20s you know I'd hear things like
your net worth is your network and I
don't know like it didn't click it
didn't make sense I knew enough people
to like get going my partners and I were
very a very tight-knit group and so it
felt like I sort of had everything that
I needed and didn't really think about
it and then I we had this employee that
was working with us and he ended up
getting like this really awesome lead on
a bank loan or investor I don't remember
which it was and I remember going like
how do you know that guy and he was like
Tom when you're my age because he's a
little bit older Tom when you're my age
you're gonna have a Rolodex like this as
well
and I remember thinking well not with my
current behavior I'm not and so like cuz
I just always want to be at home and
that's my natural inclination I'm
introverted I'm not like paralyzed I'm
not shy I think that's important but I
am introverted so it's like never like
this compulsion for me to go out and
then on top of that you put my wife who
once she started working now never wants
to go out and I have everything in need
like the woman I love so I I don't have
the compulsion but several years ago I
started to really understand the value
of meeting other people and meeting
people that are like-minded of getting
fresh ideas from the outside we were
growing so fast I was meeting all these
incredible people and I just thought I
should really start to be more strategic
about this more systematic about this
but I was just kind of fumbling my way
through it so what are one how did you
end up being somebody who's introverted
in the home body how did you end up in
the job that well in fact tell people
what your job is here what you do what
you've been doing for a very long time
at this point okay and how you ended up
there well here I'm the director of
talent relations all the guests that you
see on impact Theory even people that I
connect you with sometimes and you know
just getting you out there and to into
the room because Tom always says get me
into the room because although he says
he is an introvert by nature and staying
home if you get Tom in through the room
he's gonna do what he's gonna do to work
it out so so yeah so me I booked all the
guests that you see on impact theory and
have four to have a smiley eye for a
while I've been doing it for a while
just to give you a quick summarized
evolution of my title I went to college
for journalism and I was gung-ho
journalism this is what I wanted to do
it was a very very very strict
curriculum they put us out there and we
had to just write daily and write thee
just the biggest papers like 50 page
papers ever do every we can because in
every single week single spaced 50 page
papers and we couldn't have a single
edit yeah a single outstanding arrogance
if you did our professors like that's
how you get fired from a paper that's
how an editor would get
and words is 50 pages I don't even know
but I just remember I got so fast at
writing because it had to be a story
that existed in the news we had to take
it and sometimes it was it was one week
was an op-ed so we had to add our
opinion another week it had to be his
objective as possible which is was very
tough to do it was just a tough
curriculum and the whole thing was as a
journalist they wanted to get you out
they wanted to get you riding and you
had to go out and interview people on
the street it was a leader people on the
street people at the Statehouse are
people too placed police station and
that's how it was in Boston it was
always related to those three and but
doing that I remember right away that
was the most important lesson that she
taught us was as a journalist your
network is just your every element
that's out there you've got to put
yourself out there and put yourself in
the faces of people you got to be
inquisitive you got to be curious and it
kind of set the stage for the beginning
of networking for me so I did that
curriculum I came out here straight from
Boston and I got a job at CNN and
actually the funny thing is I got a job
at CNN I mean I will say I interned
there first
when I went back to graduate and I
walked in the CNN I walked into an
apartment I don't even know the guy he
didn't even know I had an intern there I
just walked off the street and this was
in the 90s when you can actually walk
into a building like that right and I'm
right now just would never happened and
I walked into the building and I
basically just asked for a job and the
timing couldn't be more perfect
I asked for a job and he was just like
we was like ah my name is Christopher I
used to work upstairs or intern upstairs
in the entertainment division and he was
like he picked up his phone I got a
Christopher heard that he and turn up
there was Christmas yeah he came
downstairs and someone vouch for me and
he gave me a job on the spot is it can
you start like perfect he start today
and you start today and I remember I
called my girl at the time I was like
I'm not coming home I'm working at CNN
and I remember I put myself out there I
just walked in there introduced myself
and from there I started working at CNN
and I worked there for four and a half
years when I was at CNN I did everything
this is where I got to put my journalism
skills and my networking skills started
to grow because they would put me out
although it was a research
I was well adept at writing and speaking
with people and although I didn't have a
spot for me to be a reporter they
actually let me go out and report I
wasn't on air but you would see my thumb
holding the mic which is crazy
you can still see my thumb because a lot
of times if I say if there's a bit you
aerial video [ __ ] were in CNN someone
passes away and they show stock footage
that CNN had accumulated over the years
mm and they would mostly you know show
footage that they have we need to do
like a montage of Christopher's thumb by
bout in the wild yeah you would see my
thumb interviewing somebody that's crazy
so through that I met more and more
people and I remember I started taking
advantage of it I had a mentor which is
very important in network and as Tom
will tell you in fact how did you get
the mentor once the mentor was the music
producer at CNN Denis Quan and you guys
connected first just like connected or
was it formally she's your mentor I was
an intern for her and then when I
started working at CNN I went up to her
and I told her I said look um and
actually this is how it happened I was
like I am a researcher obviously but I
want to get back to what I was doing
when I was interning for you look I have
this amount of hours but afterwards I
just want to follow you go to your
events with you I will write and label
the tapes of all the interviews that you
do that's all I need to do and we were
out and she actually decided hey do you
want to do this interview what I don't
even remember who the first person was
but I remember god I do vaguely I want
to say was someone like Ron Howard or
something I was like we were on their
arrival line and I did it she was
impressed the producers were impressed
back there and they started sending me
to so many events like a lot of the
award shows but I'd mention this to you
before it just so happened tell me what
I realize this but I was going to a lot
of the the black oriented award shows
right I'm just cool I was glad wonder
why yes I was getting myself out there
and meeting folks and then I eventually
got a job at Tavis Smiley I just
happened to be at a party and I was
playing guitar and there's just a bunch
of us Jam banding at my friend's house
and there's other guys on the piano
there's other guys on the bass and this
one guy was on the drums
never met him before in my life and he
goes hey Christopher's okay because I
heard you work at CNN I was like yeah I
do
because hey I'm not starting up this
show what's have a smiley a familiar
with him oh yeah I used to watch him on
BT and I listened till mine MPR like oh
we're starting this new PBS show and I'm
trying to recruit people from different
news outlets and collectively come
together and create something of our own
would you be into it oh yeah man and I
remember I did a rift I was like yeah
and then he gave me his card and the
next day I called him house like hey
what's up new it's Christopher McDonald
is like who's this that's like ah you
gave me a card yesterday you said so oh
yeah yeah
I said hey yeah so who do I talk to
about the job where do I send my resume
do I meet with you he was like no I I
gave you the job that's like what yeah I
thought you said you wanted to do it
it's like oh shoot what can I give two
weeks you think yeah that's perfect
and I mean that was just for chance
right Wow
so I started working at Tavis and well
let's actually back up so you have the
most outrageous group of friends I've
ever heard my life I won't name drop but
it's ridiculous and these are people
that are like your friends yeah
like most of them you knew before they
got famous yeah so I want to know how
did you end up up at that party who was
that friend see but oh yeah yeah sorry I
didn't mention that was Bill Gates
my bad like actually that's funny so the
friend whose house it was actually was
two of them two of them are living in
the house one of the friends
actually I do a book club with her and
she has at her house every month and
Casey's just joined a book club and
Courtney's gonna join but the other
friend who lived there she was Carrie
Fisher's executive assistant which was
cool because she would always invite us
to Carrie Fisher's house for these cool
parties I'm completely name-dropping I'm
gonna go for it go and it was really
would have the most eclectic parties I'm
talking about there was no
discrimination about age or anybody like
in this corner you'd see like a young
starlet and I mean and I'll name like
somebody like Scarlett Johansson in this
care at this corner and then over here
Richard Dreyfuss and Tom Berenger and
you're like wait this isn't me
that's it Tom Berenger Richard Dreyfuss
hanging out at a party with Scot
Johansson and then the cold Kidman over
here and then like you know
what's-his-face John Lennon son Julian
over here and I'm just like wait this is
crazy
and she would have these just a bunch of
people getting together and just eating
her food and hanging out and having a
good time she was like truly a great
person and she knew so many people
speaking of networking you would go to
her party and all of Hollywood would be
there so she because her mom was dead
Debbie Reynolds so you would see these
old classic stars there also and and
people would just get together Network
and you would just meet the most amazing
people and through that you would meet
more people were you going intentionally
because you're like the classic example
put yourself in danger of something
amazing happening right so you show up
at the party which is like step number
one and was that intentional like I
never know who I'm gonna meet so you
know what I'm gonna go uh actually no it
was okay I'll be honest I'll be
completely honest especially in my 20s
when I was in my 20s
if someone invited me to a party the
homebody me would want to stay home the
natural inclination like I want to stay
home but they would taught me was a
certain thing it would always get me or
I would asked a certain thing you know
would always get me I would always ask
is there gonna be food there was food
there I would be there for a free meal I
would show up to your party that's how
it was about so this is an empire built
on free meals yeah that's right here I'm
telling you I'm telling you that was a
free meal same thing with the events and
parties if like if I if it was just open
bar like I said open bar and especially
my twenties I didn't drink at all like I
know I don't want to go but it there was
food I would go and I'd pop up there and
circling back to my friends it just so
happened the school I went to and the
school my brother went to was a school
that involved you know either working in
the arts film journalism and television
in media so almost everyone you come out
with or at least everyone like 95% of
people who went to my school Emerson
College came out here for the industry
so somewhere along the way we're all
hustling we're all bustle and someone's
gonna break somebody's gonna break and
become somebody and I mean yeah
hit and and then you look back and be
like holy crap yeah and people ask well
how do you know that person how do you
know that's celebrity I'm like actually
that was just someone I went to college
with so that's how it happened and then
the more that happens the more people
you meet because suddenly I mean you see
it all the time somebody's getting
invited everywhere it's kind of unfair
it's like they get crazy swag with
watches and Rolexes iPads and and we get
like wristbands just like come on man
like hook me up but because they get to
go everywhere you know sometimes they
take you along and you meet the most
insane people and that's so yes they're
coming back to that party that's how I
met that guy Tavis so when I was at
Tavis I decided there wasn't a focus of
full focus on the music guess because
Tavis would interview politicians and
celebrities celebrities could include
musicians but not necessarily but do you
have a music segment so to speak right
so I went to my executive producer and
he was so open-minded if you had a great
idea I love that about him and I went to
him and I said hey I think we should
have a music segment I said I don't care
if I don't want I don't you to pay me
more nothing I just want to be the music
producer I want to show you that I can
create a music segment because all these
other late-night shows at the time we're
only letting artists perform and at the
end of the show and everyone tuned out
like the numbers are there people tune
out at the end of talk shows they just
do because they're late and music is so
polarized and that people tend not to
watch but I was like I told him I could
bring musicians here and I believed they
would love to talk and have the
opportunity to present themselves right
and that would separate us for the rest
of the other the other late night shows
music okay looks like so I can do that
again so I had something to prove so
this was my first step of really getting
out there and becoming a networker since
you did you understand cuz when you
break down the process now of booking
and what it takes and the way you have
to understand the different people what
they look for who their clients are like
did you understand any of that then or
does is this the beginning of you really
sort of understanding that world there's
a phrase that we all know especially in
business I guess and that I love and I
and I live by although it's a little
scary is to fake it to you make it right
and and all I again I like to be home
but I know when I'm out there there's
something about I thought this sounds
corny but I look at that you got
yourself a meal right thank you
yes yes I could I can smell it for like
the last groping I take a moment to give
it up to this man for being just like my
second hour and I'm tired
thank you thank you so yeah so fake it
til you make it and I knew that I
thought I bought the energy of people
hmm
I could be dog tired but just to throw
this in there I grew up in an army brat
and I moved every three or four years so
to speak around the world and one thing
that helped me do was reinvent myself
and and find a way to talk your way out
of things find a way to meet and you
know just associate with all types of
people because I would always move on
every time you moved you had to make new
friends
regardless you had to make new friends I
would leave one school I would leave
Japan and then moved to Kentucky and
talk about it Kosovo yeah is that a real
one that was a real change
Japan is Kentucky and I remember
thinking right around that time that's
when I really had to figure out a way to
get myself out there and talk to people
and everyone was doing everyone I grew
up but they all moved too but it helped
me warm up to people and appreciate
people it wasn't just like oh I'm just
talking to people because I'm talking to
people and I and I want to be that guy
you just learn to appreciate people and
you see all different types of cultures
all different types of people in
different situations but you realize
everyone has the same common denominator
you know and I mean that they just all
want to relate in some way or fashion
and you just start to learn how to speak
with people how to connect with them you
know and not to say that I'm an expert
on connecting them but let's so let's
act like you are because I think you are
certainly from my perspective so what
are some of the like have you codified
what those lessons are yeah yeah I
really have so I actually have a top 7
dues of network
I guess yeah yeah get on
camera a yeah so we've got the the seven
what would the seven what the top seven
dues of network alright let's hear it
yeah okay
so I'll break them down and I'm pulling
up as I have it on my phone
step away from the computer and hit the
pavement
all right we are in a world and again
let me preface by saying these are my
dues they're not applicable to everyone
but I highly suggest them because I've
put them into action for almost twenty
years and they work so we were in a
world of computers and our phones and
being able to communicate with people
the age of information through our
computers and phones that's just the
world we're in so it's made it really
easy to meet people but not having to
physically meet them and I've actually
had that happen like a very publicist
that I've worked with for years for
years I've been I've been communicating
with them I booked with them since 2003
and I've never met them in person
Oh ever met them in person but in most
cases those are people who either on the
East Coast because I deal with a lot of
people on the East Coast and we just
never passing them across and there are
people I just met recently have to known
them for about 20 years
and it's crazy so but if they're local
it's still easy to just oh you know I'm
communicating with this person I'm
pitching to them something or I'm asking
something of them but no just step out
and meet them and this will correlate to
the story I was talking about earlier
when I wanted to be the music producer
so I try to figure out how am I gonna do
this
so my first attempt was to send this
email blast I just found out who every
major label publicist was at the time
there were many because the music
industry was slowly fading away our
fading into what it is now but they
still had many publicist working at each
label so I did an email blast some of
them bit some of them got back to me but
it didn't quite fully work and I crafted
like the nicest emails didn't want a
cold call than whatever and then I
finally decided like you know what no
you know what I do better in person
talking to someone and then no matter
who you are if you speak to someone and
just present yourself oh man it's gonna
go a long way so I actually started in
by
all these publicist individually out for
drinks and that's one thing I learned
fishing the music industry these music
publishers they love to drink you know I
mean not that there were alcoholics but
they had a really tough job to do when
they have a really tough job to do so if
you can just invited them to wine not to
get drunk just to hang out they would
come out so just face-to-face time and
you'd be amazed at how far that goes I
mean that sounds so cliche Oh get up get
off your butt and don't communicate over
the computer but somebody people are
guilty of doing it
I have people talk to me all the time
who are getting into booking or getting
into networking oh yeah I hit up this
guy I can't get him to really get back
to me after you spoken to him at all on
the phone yes I have have you talked to
him on email yes we spoken on email have
you invited him out to drinks no I
haven't done that is that weird like
what no that's not weird so although it
seems so common and so you know matter
of fact people don't do it people don't
get out there so that's my number one
like hit the pavement because if you're
not getting out and hitting the pavement
and getting the face-to-face bike just
you have your dad guarded you haven't
even started my second one is just being
a good salesperson and that sounds so
sleaziest salesperson I'll never forget
the first time someone asked me about
booking and asked me about my networking
and I described it and they said oh so
you were salesperson it's like oh don't
call me a salesperson but and they broke
it down to me no I know you're a
salesperson because for you specifically
you're selling yourself as a person
trying to get their product whatever
right are trying to and then you're also
selling this show that you work for and
you're also selling the host you know
mean and I was like family crap I am a
salesperson don't look at it really
badly like you know you're being a
salesperson so you should actually take
a cue and Nate gave me this advice he
was like see what you know some of the
great salespeople do and what they did I
mean you don't have to emulate them
completely because it's not fully what
you're doing but check it out so I
started paying attention to great
salespeople and not this person for
example but you know you you interview
one of the greatest salespeople that we
know in our business history and that's
John Paul DeJoria like you can't get any
better than that guy that guy like
actually went door to door and built a
business of a billion dollar business
how many people can say they did that so
I mean he obviously knew the value in
the sales pitch so so when you become a
great salesperson you're not just being
a salesperson you're practicing the
sales pitch because that is probably the
number one thing of networking because
even if you're not trying to sell
somebody something when you're network
and you're selling yourself right you're
selling your personality you're selling
just your connection and it's your sales
pitch and and when you're speaking with
someone you don't have to be sleazy to
be systematic and have a sales pitch but
just keep it in mind keep it in mind
what you're saying and all of a sudden
it becomes second nature like you're
breathing to them who you are and you're
not just it's not diarrhea of the mouth
and taking over what they're saying but
it's a sales pitch and it just goes a
long way I mean it's a big thing in
network it's a huge thing so my number
three is to be bold than that pushy okay
get out there be bold don't be afraid I
mean you see it at a time it goes back
to the high school dance when you're
standing around I never had a date to
the high school dance except for prom
but you're standing around and I just
remember standing around and looking at
you know the girls across the way and
the guys are all standing around and
some guys just going for it and you're
just trying to figure out how to
approach and I just wasn't bold and I
just was not bold I'm still not both got
if I if I was single now and I had to go
to advance forget it I wouldn't do it
but it's the same thing with networking
how many times do you go to a party
you're like oh my god this feels like
crap like there are people over there I
just you know in every single tea but
sometimes I'm with my wife and we're
just with each other in the corner of
the entire night the entire night but if
you're trying to network just go up and
be bold and introduce yourself
and again it's some people like that's
not being bold if you introduce yourself
but it's bold to so many people just
introduce yourself don't be afraid to
slide into a conversation don't straight
up Interop gauge it but you get better
at gauging what they're talking about
know
she shouldn't insert yourself but don't
be afraid to do it people especially at
a networking gathering our business
gathering people are very welcoming to
that right so be bold but not pushy
don't push yourself in there no one to
step away are just even you know when
you're trying to sell someone on
something just don't be pushy it's just
gross it's gross in booking if someone
and I actually got this tip from Oprah
and I'm sure hey one I'm sure Ike over
directly yes yeah well I actually I did
a show with Oprah it was a short live
show was a show with Tyrese Gibson from
Fast and Furious Fame and the singer and
Rev Run from Run DMC and there's a show
about those to give an advice to women
but not like oh you should do this but
this is what we have we think is men so
take that nugget and you know then you
can get you know what's going on I
mentality but Oprah during the whole
process we would have these meetings
with her we were developing the show was
already agreement but we had to develop
the segments and we would meet with her
and we had this one big meeting where we
were sitting around this big long table
with Oprah Winfrey and I remember they
had a whole spread of food in the other
room and it was a it was a make your own
salad and they capitalized
oh don't Alan I was like they had all
these ingredients doesn't go my god oh
my god and I was like making this I made
this big-ass plate of food again free
food I'm gonna be there and I'm gonna
eat that food so I may get asked if
that's why you read though a little
gathering there's gonna be food there
okay I'll be there so pretty much enough
I would've gone regardless so I made
this big plate of food and I went into
the room and I everyone was already
seated and when I get there for some
reason out of everyone in that room
because there were about 25 people in
that room Oprah and then a good chunk of
her staff and then me my executive
producer the cogs I could have produced
her entire ease and tigresses manager
and I sit down and across the table is
Tyrese and Oprah and there's an empty
seat across from them and I'm like what
how's this you know and for me oh my god
nobody but I guess no one wanted to sit
in their eyesight so I sat down with his
big-ass plate and I look around and no
one has a plate no one I'm like why
isn't anybody eating No
and I was starving Tom my stomach was
growling and I was like picking at my
food I was eating my food like this
because I didn't want to be chewing that
like Oprah was talking literally leaning
away from the mic yes you're telling the
story about wanting me carefully so I
get it yeah it was terrible and then but
I remember we got to the point of
booking and all the attention came on me
so let's talk about guests and who were
gonna get for this show my executive
producer is like oh yeah so we have all
these ideas and he's talking about ways
he's throwing out all these big names
Will and Jada Bradley Cooper and
so-and-so and this person in that person
like all these big names and I remember
I was like and making that face and she
goes good luck getting those people
that's like oh wow she taught taking a
dig in me and I'm gonna get those people
and as he goes no no I'm not saying that
it's just tough getting those folks and
then she said you know what don't be
disappointed as some of these people
don't want to do the show and just move
on from it she was I come from the
school of if I found that no one wanted
to do my show when I was doing my main
stage show if someone didn't want to
come that's fine don't push on it I
didn't want to be here why do they need
to be here don't push so that was a huge
thing for me that was a huge thing for
me it's like well you know if someone
doesn't want to buy your product or
someone doesn't want to buy what you're
presenting to them don't be too pushy
you're gonna mean step away and
understand there will be an opportunity
where they'll figure out and see that
you're the bomb just like how people I
can't move I said the bomb I don't think
I've ever even said that this is the
first the bomb I hope my wife's not
watching this
that's crazy oh my god oh yes dr.
Vanessa everybody's asking for those so
yeah so I mean cuz they're I mean I
can't tell you enough and I know you
know this one anybody there are people
who have passed on impact there right
there are people who have passed on you
as a host town bill you'd like wait
who's this guy and but and I push you a
little bit cuz I'm tenacious but not too
much because deep down I'm like you know
what there is gonna be a time and I've
seen this happen so many times
well you're selling yourself you're
networking and someone's not giving you
the time of day with the network and
they just kind of move on from you but
you just stay the course keep your
confidence cuz there's gonna be failure
in network and there's gonna be people
who don't want to network with you or
don't want to be a connection with you
and they're gonna figure it out like wow
somewhere down the line this person is
someone I should know so that's just not
being too pushing the forth one I
actually have to learn myself but this
is big and this is one thing that we're
all learning here one thing that gave
the always pushes is be social media
savvy mmm because look we are in a new
age I was one of those people that held
out I was like I'm not on social media I
lived in today I don't need social media
right keep it at my face and I don't
have anything people couldn't find me
anywhere I was on Facebook years ago but
I quit years ago and I didn't have
anything I don't have an Instagram at
the time and I just remember just being
a holdout but I was seeing people
network that way okay how'd you find
that about that event how'd you find out
about that person like on Facebook
that's like Facebook yeah all right
Instagram I'm like Instagram and to me
that was foreign I was like wait you
didn't just call them or show up they're
like no this is like there's like a
network of folks or there are pages
where people talk in meetings of the
minds on online and it's and again like
to our viewers I'm afraid of like of
course it got to be social media savvy
but there there are ways to be much
social media savvy and put that into
action and and I say that to the folks
who are I guess our age we're
Bicentennial babies and who didn't grow
up well that didn't grow up with it and
and use the power of actually knocking
on the door are going to the network and
this kind of is Jack's position what I'm
saying about stepping away from the
computer but you there's a time in place
for it you've got to take advantage of
realize adapter dive so be social media
savvy that's big with networking number
five this is all those number five out
of seven this is my biggest one really
this is my most important maybe because
it's an even number I'm sure Jared likes
it I have a top seven instead of a top
five or top ten a little odd number out
because I had a top five at first I was
like Jared's gonna like cringe if he
sees that so top five don't burn any
bridges that is a no-brainer best a
little good advice yeah but I mean we
all know that people get angry when it
comes to people people people to people
relations people lose their mind and get
angry and they see red and they're like
man screw that person like not to put
out in the names but you were just in a
situation that you talked about briefly
here and there where things didn't go as
you like
haha yeah it was favorable as you like
but you handle that like a champ
we had a networking gathering the impact
our next time you guys next impact our
destiny puts together you guys have got
to come even if you're not in Los
Angeles comes you meet great people you
know I mean as viewers all the viewers
here are great people and we've met some
great viewers some impact our but you're
gonna impact our and you would just on
that shoot and you're so gracious about
it and you realize that you're like
you're not gonna burn a bridge because
somewhere along the way he may figure it
out you know and I mean and he may
figure out who you are and believe me I
know for a fact he's gonna come running
he's gonna come running and I and I see
you all the time I remember I learned
that really early when I started at CNN
I interned for a lot of older folks and
there was one guy who always used to
joke he's like you're gonna be gonna be
working for you one day okay I'm gonna
be working for you one day that was his
joke to the point where I was like this
guy in this joke but I was like that was
always his goodbye you know some people
are like a good bye see you later some
people are like hey yeah catch you later
gonna be working for you someday that
was him and I was like man but the funny
thing is later on down the line we ended
up being producing and booking partners
at Tavis I into intern for this guy at
Entertainment Tonight and seeing it and
we ended up working on the same level
Lisa for her show sure oh aquinnah she
hos was here in Access Hollywood came
here and covered here I'm sitting here
on the couch over here at my computer in
Access Hollywood
and the reporter walks in the on-camera
reporter Watson I look it up my Alex and
it was this young woman who used to
intern for me have a smiley and now
she's an on-air personality and it's
doing so well mom and it blew my mind is
like wait what you're you're on Access
Hollywood and I remember she came to me
she told me she's like why you were
always so so nice to me always so nice
to me you were the only Booker and
producer over there who didn't treat me
like a minion who wasn't cruel who
didn't like think he was holier than
thou and I was like I don't understand
why people think that way because in any
industry especially where we're you know
the way things are going now I mean
there were so many young people with
grand ideas there's so many young CEOs
they will be your boss someday so don't
burn a bridge I don't burn a bridge
anywhere up or down whatever cuz people
think it's just the directories like
this oh no it's all over the place
right it's like time so I don't even
want anyone in there right now burn
bridges okay so number six have
personality plain and simple I don't
mean might be like well you know like a
towns yes they're anything but just have
some personality you know we all go to
networking parties and sometimes I meet
people networking parties and whether
it's their true personality or not I'm
not saying to fake it but and my next
point goes along these lines just open
yourself up and I feel like it's so hard
for people and they're so afraid to open
themselves up even if your personality
is like hey I'm John Smith you know what
I mean just just try to open yourself up
a little bit so you're famous here at
impact Theory for being just an
unbelievably good storyteller as
evidenced by the fact that I almost spit
my burger on the floor five minutes ago
is that something that you've practiced
no I I think I get it from my mom I have
to I think we need to start inviting
your mom to like lunches cause you know
your stories are and we can invite my
mom here I'd be really excited because
she's passed away
that's fine like cuz she is hands down
she was like was she passed away at her
funeral there were people showed up at
her funeral hey that was a testament to
her character no matter where she went
she made friends and she was such a
great storyteller no matter where she
went
I even got a call last week from this
guy crying I was like who who is this
because Christopher's like yeah
I'm a friend of your mom's I knew her
for years I just found out she passed
away I decided the goober and I'd never
heard of the guy in my life and I
remember there's a point I was I ain't
in my mom for dinner at some point I'm
gonna get to the bottom of that but yeah
so it's just like but she was a great
storyteller and she was so funny and
charismatic and everyone has an idol you
got I mean everyone has an that and I
have tons of idols man my biggest Idol
hands-down was my mom
I would watch how she would talk to
people and watch how fascinating they
were and how she would just genuinely be
interested in what people were thinking
and what she was saying to people and I
mean that by saying it wasn't calculated
but she would pay attention to what she
was saying the people in scene what it
was a bokken she's not phoning it in
yeah exactly
she's very present yeah I guess she's
saying something and it was a Vokoun
some type of emotion of happiness
she would stick to it if she said
something and she saw that it would turn
people off she would kind of pull back
or even apologize you know I mean she
was very in tune and I would study my
mom she was just that person my dad was
exact exact opposite military guy he's
probably said one-and-a-half words his
entire life it was probably like [ __ ]
you but he just doesn't say much and my
two older brother is the same thing they
don't say much like so I just got that
from my mom and it wasn't even like I'm
gonna try to be like my mom it was just
exciting and I just got my personality
from I would say and so yeah so my
personality I guess I know it's not
everybody's personality but just when I
say have personality again don't fake it
but just open yourself up and realize
this
just hanging your head and keeping you
out your brow low no one's gonna be
receptive just open up even if you're
the most the biggest you know introvert
it's not gonna kill you
now all right before we get to seven
mm-hmm I want to say we've got our
giveaway for this segment we're giving
away books captivate if you guys have
read this is absolutely amazing we're
giving a bunch of copies of that away
and the question to win the books is
what are the five love languages what
are the five love languages
all right so drop that answer into the
feed and later in this will announce the
winner of that all right now great
drumroll number seven number seven so
you have that personality I say but but
most important and this may sound like
it's contradicting the other one but
just be yourself just be yourself I mean
I see a time and time again when I go to
these networking events or when I'm you
know because sometimes I get bamboozled
into network events that happens a lot
by free food by free food yeah so this
example does involve free food this is I
am or does but I mean there's so many
times like we're a publisher say hey
Chris let's get let's have dinner and
talk about my clients in your show
whatever may that's great and I'll get
to the dinner it's it'll be this huge
table I'm like wait what is just the
last supper like what are you doing it's
just you and me and then all of a sudden
a bunch of other Booker's would shove
like the Booker from Fallon the Booker
from Kimmel the Booker from so-and-so
Booker from this radio show we all have
the same look in her face like what the
hell just happened and she would be
bamboozled but we'd all end up being
forced in the networking with each other
right so but you just learn to be
yourself like you don't you know you
don't have to fake it and you're sitting
down and you see that a time where
someone's just kind of robotic and it's
hard I get it meeting someone and then
you and they just start asking the very
systematic questions no talk about your
day don't be afraid to talk about your
dog don't be afraid to talk about you
know your mom you know I mean it's just
like don't just be yourself because I
mean again moving around all my life
that's the one thing that I've noticed
that the people who were always
genuinely themselves and who were honest
with themselves and honest with you and
opened up cried if they had to or
whatever those are the people who
not just me who I was receptive to I've
noticed who are the people receptive to
because that's the one thing there's I
mean there's one thing I've studied
growing up was popularity and how people
became popular not you studied that
because you going from school to school
going school to school to school I was
fascinated with it because he would go
from one school and this person be
popular you're like wow that guy's
popular oh my god in my last school he
would be getting his ass kicked you had
a mean and it's just always that and
there's a story I always tell that when
I went to middle school in Kentucky
there was a kid in my class he was short
you know you just had that kind of
traditional goofy look mmm
people didn't pick on him though but he
just was not you know he wasn't the
popular kid and but I you know we were
cool and I remember I felt so bad
because he in class he sharted now for
those you don't know what a shart is
it's I sorry we're getting into this but
it's when you fart in [ __ ] your pants
and he did that and I remember feeling
so awful for him and everyone like I
forgot exactly what his last name last
name was actually I wouldn't say I won't
say it but they combined his last name
with the word sharp and it just was just
sad
and and I remember I moved to Germany
years later I was a sophomore in high
school I move to Germany and there was
this kid who was the most popular kid in
school he was like six foot four
handsome he was too tight in and I was
like man that guy's cool I could just
tell and I remember I looked at I said I
look familiar I know that guy I was like
oh my god is the kid who started in
sixth grade and he had moved to Germany
and reinvented himself and became the
most popular kid in school Wow and I
remember thinking like oh my god that's
crazy and I became so obsessed and
fascinated with that
but the one thing I've noticed in the
and coincidentally there's an article I
think it was like Business Journal or
somebody he's put out an article
recently that basically said gotta have
to go go so you can go with something
about the most popular people in school
tend to be or maybe was in captivate me
captivate tend to be people who are nice
you know mean people who are genuinely
open and generally friendly people are
receptive to that
so that comes back to my point this guy
he was a genuinely nice guy when he shot
at his pants correctly and he was
popular and like an all-star Titan and
everyone loved him and he was still
genuinely nice that's it's so
interesting so being genuine is
something that I think is actually hard
for people to do now and when you look
at people that really become successful
in acting or even like in my own small
way I think inside Quest started getting
good when I stopped trying to hide the
things that I found interesting even if
they were weird and I stopped trying to
hide my enthusiasm and if somebody said
something that made me go oh like I
would actually do that right do that and
that was me like but that's real write
that like hydrate when I was first doing
the episodes it was like oh that's
excellent thank you for coming on you
know and it was like I had this vision
of what an interviewer was supposed to
be right and so I wasn't able to bring
anything unique because I wasn't being
myself and when as you're explaining
this and admittedly I've never really
taken the time to break down why you're
so good at what you do and hearing you
talk about it I realize you're insanely
likable and there's a reason like if
somebody came and watched our team
lunches it would just be like oh well
that's the the center of attention in
this universe because everybody is is
paying attention to you everybody wants
to hear your stories we've learned not
to put the pressure on you to like to
start the stories but you know you're so
charismatic and everybody's so
captivated and it's like if you're not
there for a team lunch would be like
like there's no Christopher to like tell
the stories and so it really does become
clear as you're going through your list
of the things that being able to be what
I call in my words defenseless so when
people aren't being themselves they've
defenses up there
they've got pretenses there's that armor
that makes them feel comfortable and
you it's such a bad strategy because you
don't respond to it in other people what
you do respond to is the guy that's
totally real real and it admittedly
become a filtering mechanism not
everyone is gonna respond to the real
you
yeah but the people that respond are
gonna respond hard hmm and I don't think
it's a mistake or an accident that of
everyone here and a be curious enough
everybody agrees with this I think they
will that you seem to have the the
broadest number of friends that you've
been friends with for the longest period
of time and they seem like really real
relationships now we all obviously only
get your side of the story so secretly
all of these people may hate you I'm
Eric and Christopher again that's
certainly not how it reads yeah I if
there's one thing if it's got if I were
to add a 7.5 to being yourself and the
seven dudes in networking it's just
being loyal
because loyalty goes along I'm that year
you've got a hard core definition of
that yeah lawyer than me is I'm as loyal
as it gets almost to a fault and when it
comes to my friends since you mentioned
my friends if you're my friend and I
consider you my friend I am so loyal I
don't it's like you would have to kill
me for me to stop appreciating you
you're gonna mean if I got to a point
where I deemed you a friend like I
understand human nature people make
mistakes people make really big mistakes
and you've got to understand at some
point it's human nature now there may be
you got to just gauge how many people
how many times they've made a mistake
how many times they've wronged you of
course but if it's just one wrong once
because I see friendships fall apart all
the time over a trivial wrong and I'm
like oh no no think about it think about
what you guys have gained what you
everything you've been through there's
beer in the shared experiences and I'm
very loyal and I apply that to my
network into oh my god like it's here's
a big thing another reason why it's hard
for me
I don't commit to too many things
because if I say yes or something and I
know you're this way - yes you show up
like that one time
flughhhh ate that ran through the house
and everyone got the flu and we had Jim
quick here and another guest and you had
the worst flu and I was I guess topping
to do this show and I remember Lisa as I
calm you should uh you should cancel
yeah well cancel we rescheduled you're
like what and because you're loyal to
your guests you're loyal to your show
you're lower to your staff and you
always say this and I love this you're
like I will show up to you and I love
that about you
thank you man and I think you completely
get that just being loyal that's my
definition I mean I'm curiously yeah
well so it's interesting I'm I am
insanely loyal but like you there's a
ring and if you're on the outside of
that ring I don't I don't feel an
obligation so I'm not gonna [ __ ] you
I'm just not gonna show up for you I'm
not gonna go out of my way to make sure
that the world is right for you but once
you get inside that ring then it's like
it's do or die and there's got to be a
group of people that really know to the
core and this is the key they have to
feel it yeah not be able to recite words
they have to feel it that you're gonna
show up and that's you know one of the
things here and so by nature I like team
building a lot and there's a reason that
I have absolutely when I say zero hunger
zero hunger to be a founder need to be a
co-founder I like to do things as a team
I like to have a group of people that
like we're all together we're in this
together
a shared experience that's really really
important to me but it's it is so like
key to Who I am
and important to my code that I live by
that the team feel that I'm gonna that I
would suffer for them lead from the
front I'm always gonna show up I'm gonna
play to win that it's like no man left
behind like all of those things but not
that they can repeat that I say it but
that they feel it like in their gut and
that's hard and one of the simple steps
is if you say you're gonna do it do it
and I remember Lisa and I had committed
to something and in my defense she
committed me without talking to me and
she was like I am so
sorry I had no idea that people just
asking me but I find out that they're
asking both of us and so I was like well
here's the great news
there's no universe in which we don't
show up so like your you know for better
or worse so it's like if you've gotten
us into something even though I wish you
had if we're in it you told them that
we're coming then it's just that simple
and the clarity that comes with having
that code and being centered by that I
think is it's super critical it goes the
longest way it's like you've got to show
that you're supporting the person you're
networking with because if you don't
they're gonna think you're just out to
get something from them and not
reciprocate replication is a huge thing
for me and it's a huge thing in booking
I'll speak in terms of booking you've
got a scratch someone's bat like again
when I was at Tavis and I to get out
there and meet with those publicists and
say hey I'm doing a music segment and I
want to bring musicians to this show I
had to do my due diligence I couldn't
just be like hey give me a you know
jay-z and I won't take any of the other
clients
you know I mean you it was tit for tat
obviously you couldn't compromise what
the show was but you had to I mean it
went a long way it showed your loyalty
to the person that you're networking
with because if you show that you're
supporting their needs and their cause
man they will die for you too it's and
of course some people will stab you in
the back and and not Mississippi Kate
but I've found that if you're genuinely
showing that you're loyal to them and
you get that out of the way really
quickly by saying like you meet someone
and say like hey let's get together and
one thing I always did oh my god it's
like one of my favorite things to do and
it happened on accident the first time
my wife has this thing she always laughs
and says I talk too much and my son I I
just sometimes I want to just blow my
brains out that kid talks and it drives
me insane my mom's like my mom my
brother look at my drunk what my wife
says where do you think he gets that
from and like oh my god and it just
would drive me insane but so this first
meeting I had I remember one of the
first things I had I was out and I met
with this publicist and I wanted to see
what she could do for the show as well
working for so we're having this network
conversation but when
really quite got to the meat of
networking it was mostly me finding out
about her cuz I have this crazy
curiosity about people I think it's
because I've moved around so much I want
to know where someone's from that's what
I always ask people where are you from
because it kind of defines them it
really does people at the same in
different areas so to speak so I asked
that and then I started hearing about it
I said oh my god
you're from there tell me about it or
this and that I used to live there or so
on and at the end of the dinner we were
out of time she had someplace to be and
I remember her like oh you can even get
to talk you need to tell me what to show
or you know and I remember I did get to
sell my product there so to speak and I
said no that's fine I'm glad I got to
talk with you and got to meet you and
and I moved on and I remember she was so
excited sent me an email the next day it
was great to meet you let's hang out
again that was fun let's have drinks I'm
in up again the next time it was her and
another publicist and we hit it off
again and I was like oh my god and it
just made me realize you don't have to
be selling the product every time you're
networking take advantage of him oh
we're gonna be on a level of
person-to-person and it was like the one
of the biggest lessons in that became a
tactic I will admit I became tastico
when it came to that I turned that into
a tactic I was like oh yeah it's get
together and I know this talk shop and
then I'd be like so tell me about
yourself and suddenly like we hit it off
but it's and I'm it wasn't just a tactic
I honestly did one yeah then you
actually engage and you be sincere yeah
taking all that stuff I don't think
there's anything wrong with that being
also a tactic as long as we're you
engage in it is exacts and so that's me
is really smart because that's a classic
example of playing the long game right
so never go for the sale always go for
the referral and if you treat them well
and you actually care about what's going
on look it's gonna come back you know I
mean like that this is one thing that I
love about humans is just when you take
them on average not any new any
individual but when you take them on
average they're very predictable so if
you want to be interesting be interested
right so just asking about her finding
oh that made that up but yeah if you
want to be interesting be interested ask
them a lot of questions really engage
actually like people love to talk about
themselves and look I am more guilty
than most people
I'm all about me people love to talk
about themselves and it's just a trait
and when you can go look this isn't
gonna pay off for me tonight but if I do
this over a hundred people and if 40 of
them end up becoming something because I
put in that work five years from now I'm
unstoppable mmm and that's why and I
think one of the reasons that sometimes
people think that I have hubris when I
say that we're gonna build a studio
bigger than Disney is because they think
I think it's gonna happen in ten years
it's not gonna happen in ten years right
so thankfully it's not gonna be binary
we're gonna make progress every day and
we're gonna be doing stuff and building
momentum and all that but I mean this is
a 50 60 year endeavor and when you can
think along those lines when you can
think about okay this is you're really
starting something grand you have to be
able to execute in the short term but if
your plans are to go all-out for the
next I mean think about what we can do
man like imagine for a second that we
become the u-2 of like companies and we
just stick together and this isn't like
the the average right now for
Millennials is one point eight years
they spend one point eight years at any
one company and then they move on so the
the way that you have to like retrain
and you lose all that historical
knowledge and all that is just really
really a travesty in terms of creating
efficiencies and Trust and moving fast
so you to said we were never gonna go
solo right so for sure bono could have
gone solo maybe the edge could have gone
solo but they didn't and they said
specifically our career is about finding
out what happens when this group of
people stays together forever through
thick and thin and now how long I'm
thirty years I mean it's been longer
than that yeah cuz I mean they were like
playing the roller rink in van nuys like
even before they hit it big cuz one of
my friends used to kind of manage them
really our manage maybe the roller rink
and they would always play the roller
rink in van eyes like a what like in the
it was like 81 or some like that was
crazy
Oh something very early I'm probably in
the date wrong yeah they've been around
for a very very long time so when you
see them stay together for that long
through thick and thin I mean they're
just they'll be one of the band
that are remembered forever and so you
know I think about that and I think
about what does this look like if we can
really be long-term right which is one
of the reasons Lisa and I are so
committed not only equity but if we
never sell that's not important
what becomes important those enriching
people through profits and making sure
that you guys are incentivized like that
which is [ __ ] fascinating to me
because cash flow is the exciting thing
right when it's I remember there was a
time where very wealthy on paper but I
was like huh what does that [ __ ]
matter right like until you're able to
liquidate some of it it literally is
meaningless area and thankfully I'm so
dumb when it comes to that stuff that in
in some of the things I see straight to
the truth because I'm I am literally to
undereducated to get lost in the
trappings so I remember thinking being
rich on paper isn't anything like until
you sell it it's totally meaningless
right I remember thinking that like
these before the IPO they're actually
broke right it sounds like no no like
this oh well the apparently I didn't
spend so well at the grocery store and
let me tell you that that is the truth
so you know really like looking at how
we can enrich people how we can keep
this team moving together as a
collective to see what we can really do
over the long run that to me is very
interesting is that flashing to to do
this oh do we need to wrap well now put
wrap oh sorry I didn't I just this
screen says in my defense it's got like
a headline and then it says t's grand
prize again so I just kept looking at
t's grand prize I apologize totally my
bad so wrap segment thank you for the
flashing light which by the way I'm not
this is so cool look look like it's like
everyone gathering around the campfires
it's gotten darker and darker it's so
cool
but don't don't be afraid also just to
speak up like I'm not tense about that
at all so if I'm not seeing something
flashing the red lights also great
wiggling the the mouse all that stuff
really helps and I was specifically not
asking questions by the way just because
I wanted dr. finesse appealed again is
flow so all right sadly we're out of
time dude the every time I get you on
camera I'm super stoked this is always a
lot a lot of
always exciting to me so thank you for
sharing us that giveaway the giveaway
winners are kaitland cusco oh wow okay
we're getting getting in the later hours
here Noah Bell Andrea Zacharias Brady
Puryear Abraham Rivera alright so those
are the people that won captivate pick
it up pick it up pick it up and to dr.
finesse once again thank you my friend
always a pleasure
you