Kind: captions
Language: en
everybody welcome to another episode of
after impact I am your host Tom bill you
and I am here with the incredible the
one who carries the weight of these
shows if I'm honest Agent Smith mr. bill
you you're too kind
dude I was really thinking about that
today I was like man I used to like ah
[ __ ] there are mics over here Jase we
can hear you oh that wasn't you I'm
selling chase out yeah Cindy the voice
of the community making a presence felt
in this after impact that was amazing I
was thinking about that this morning I
was like wow I used to like really get
like hardcore taking notes and all that
and then I found like your flow was
awesome so I just so now I watch the
episodes I relax knowing that you're
going to show up ready to play arms of
those questions you take it in to cool
place and I'm suited grateful for that
so
alright well to the clarity this man is
crushing it we are talking about dr.
Andy Walsh today this man right here and
if you're joining us this is after
impact of the show where Tom and I go
deep into the episode of impact Theory
probably should look at that camera we
are pre recording this because of
vacation I wouldn't call it vacation not
quite vacation we're going to yeah we're
going to Cannes which I'm excited about
from like hey it's a beautiful part of
the world I've never been to but we're
going there for Cannes lion with the
Vayner squad very excited about that and
then headed over to London and that is
closer to vacation but also going to be
doing London real which I'm very excited
about that and doing a meet up by the
way for all the Londoners in the house
oh cool come let's get together so
unfortunately this isn't live but you
can always join us every Wednesday at
10:00 a.m. for after impact on Facebook
and it will be live and you can ask
questions so let's dive into dr. Andy
Walsh in a so he is a elite athlete
trainer he is a leading expert on
hacking human performance so what this
means is he's worked with for many
decades some of the best athletes in the
world in extreme sports
and help them reach a new level of
performance so he currently is the
director of athlete's performance at Red
Bull and works with all of their
athletes on their teams and also there's
a lot of work with DARPA so working for
the government and figure out how can we
push human potential farther which is
super interesting he worked with Felix
Baumgartner
on the Stratos and Bull Stratos skydive
freefall yeah which was which is really
exciting and he just got a lot of
interesting projects he's working on so
it was a really cool episode to get into
his mind a little bit and I want to
start it off with the flight-or-fight
response because that was kind of a big
thing that he works with the athletes on
trying to help them manage but also help
them become more comfortable in
situations when that's triggered and I
wanted to ask you because I know you
talked a lot about getting in control of
your emotions so first what is that like
for you how do you get in control of
your emotions and the second is there
any way to tap into those emotions
flight or fight to get actually greater
performance oh that's interesting like
going Reverse like if you're too calm
like to try to amp things up a bit
well that's interesting so and perfect
timing with this episode so the the Andy
Walsh episode and the Jim quick episode
worth my flu games so those are the two
where I can I wasn't sure like
re-watching these like like how would I
come across you can hear it in my voice
a little bit but I energy yeah I thought
it humming together pretty well and so
that's an example of the time where I
was literally forcing myself to project
energy because I felt absolutely none of
it now I don't think of that as clicking
over into fight or flight because that
really from a neuro physiological
standpoint is not an effective way to
perform so the real question becomes
okay why do you kick in to fight or
flight if your life is in danger when
the stakes are absolutely at their
highest and I like really thinking about
it I don't know especially for fight I
don't know that it's a very control
mechanism and so from like a did nature
get it right standpoint I'm going to
posit that nature did not get it right
and that when you look at the
highest-performing athletes all of them
get to like an amazing place because
they're able to overcome the natural
inclination and get into a calm and
creative state so I'll take MMA fighters
is like the perfect example so when you
go into a cage you could actually get
broken like and I'll even sort of
discount death like probably nobody's
walking into the cage thinking I might
die in this fight which actually is a
possibility but you know every time
going in but you might permanently get
injured and not like accidentally like
the other person is actively trying to
injure you yeah and that to me is crazy
and so is it the person that comes in
and is holy in the grips of the
fight-or-flight response they're
swinging wildly the heart rate is
through the roof they're breathing heavy
there's no blood in the prefrontal
cortex everything is you know going to
I'll call baser like animalistic stuff
do they ever win no they don't unless
they land like one lucky flailing punch
and when you hear guys that gasp out
they'll say like my arousal was so high
like you just can't you can't maintain
that level it's in and of itself it's
exhausting like you're you're yeah the
the breath we're now at the edge of my
understanding of like physiologically
what's happening with oxen it
oxygenating the muscles and all that
like why when everything is so elevated
I guess there's just only so many cycles
you can run but it's it exhausts them
and so they gas out really fast where's
the guy that can stay calm keep his
heart rate down breathing regulated
they're the ones who do well and I
remember seeing I think it was coach
Jackson I forget his first name it's not
Randy which is of course my first
instinct Craig Jackson Greg Jackson Greg
Jackson almost certain that's too true
for Georges st. Pierre and it was a
championship fight and George comes in
between rounds and is
down and he seemed really calm to me and
Greg Jackson was like you need to calm
down and I was like what and he's like
in through your nose out through your
mouth and like you just see George going
to like an even deeper level of calm and
I was like wow like when George like my
sort of average day I'm not as calm as
George was like when he was telling him
you need to calm down
yeah I was like whoa so there's like
this whole other level where you're in
control and I think the most important
part is engaging the higher regions of
your brain now I say that with the full
awareness that you don't actually want
to be thinking about what you're doing
you want to be in flow no question and
there's that great Bruce Lee quote kick
until you don't think kick you just kick
right flow get into flow and but be so
practice that you can slide into it so I
find that really interesting so I would
never say that I would want myself to go
into fight or flight mode the only time
that like I find anything
anxiety serves me is leading up to
something where it makes me it's low
level but it makes me take it seriously
so that I really do like the research
and I really put in the time and effort
because I don't want something to go
wrong and when you think like oh I've
got it then that's also when people fall
off so there is like this middle range
where you want to be aroused enough that
you're taking it seriously that you're
putting in the work to make sure that
you're hyper focused and all of that to
get into flow and that is and and I'm
very much processing out loud here that
is an interesting part of flow that they
say the stakes have to be high and that
if the stakes aren't high enough if
there isn't enough arousal for you to
switch into flow then you're really
going to be in trouble but and so from
that standpoint I would want to get
myself there I do always want to take
things seriously like you know my
competition is when I show up and do an
interview but I really like you then
break immediately in your performance
begins rapidly degrading when you get
into a true state of anxiety yeah so and
I'll push just a little bit farther
because I find this really interesting I
can tell you want to move on but the
when I'm
playing video games so this is where I
realize like this is actually really
beneficial and when I think about how do
you practice when you don't have access
to Red Bull and all of you know Andy
Walsh and his team how do you practice
getting into a situation where you
trigger into fight or flight and
practicing to get it down and
first-person shooters playing against
real 14 year-olds that want to make fun
of you that that like literally I can
feel like as the match is like really
close you can feel the anxiety and like
you're coming in this moment where maybe
it's like you versus two people and in
those moments you have to literally I
force myself to shift down and not up so
it's like you know and you let it go
like as that collision is coming like I
forced myself to actually like lower my
state of arousal so that I can stay
aware so that I can figure out where
everybody's going because if you ramp up
and you're like okay here we go like if
you're doing that then you're it's
actually worse and you perform worse and
it's so counterintuitive to and it's
really odd like I know big wave surfers
train for being held under water right
for being digging like to wave hold down
which could last a minute or more and
that would be scary your first
inclination like having spent a lot of
time in the water your first inclination
is just like panic and reach for the
surface right right but you can't do
that and the moment you start panicking
you just lose your breath and so you
just have to stay calm even though
you're getting tossed in the water and
it's dark and you're disoriented you
don't know which end is up you just have
to stay calm and just let it let it
happen and it's really counterintuitive
you have to train yourself to do that at
danceOn um that's really important by
the way like I'm not a surfer at all but
like I can put myself in that position
learning to relax is so key yeah
learning to relax is a key part of flow
right so it's making sure that you're in
a situation that's sufficiently intense
but then not escalating like learning to
lower that really really important from
I mean surfing is actually dangerous I
don't know that I'll encourage people to
go out and he's practice getting pounded
by waves and didn't help
and not being able to breathe everybody
there like if that's something that
you're doing I can see why surfers hit
sort of that mellow vibe like having to
learn to deal with that yeah
pretty interesting definitely there's
another part in this episode where you
talk about taking obtuse angles to get
people to think differently in
situations so again dr. Andy Walsh his
goal is to trigger the latter fight
response but he can't do it with a big
wave surfer by taking them out at jaws
or something or maverick rides they're
so accustomed to that so he does
different things like you mentioned the
episode he has like put it there like
literally loose a bear yield there yeah
which is crazy and the trained bear but
like like imagine if you weren't
expecting that and I you know you ran
into the kitchen to grab something big
the grizzly bear right like yeah that's
instant escalate video of that by the
way yeah I don't
it's still still images so you can see
the people like coming around the corner
and the bear is like right there it's
great edible do you ever try to employ
something like this in a business
setting for yourself no but I do try to
take advantage of the situations that
present themselves okay so inevitably
you end up in a situation where either
surprise like it's escalating and like
something's going crazy and so this
comes back to my obsession with this
notion that everything is just an
opportunity to practice all of life is
the practice not performance so when I'm
in a moment like that where there's a
lot of money on the line or where you're
taken by surprise with someone's
emotions and they're like getting wound
up or some of these pits or two people
are clashing or whatever in that moment
I literally say to myself this is
practice it's not performance okay that
lowers me a notch then it's like into
the nose out to the mouth that lowers me
a notch again then I envision like the
blood trying to leave my prefrontal
cortex and I'm like I'm going to need
that and so putting it back and the one
thing you can really feel is your heart
rate and so actually trying to like just
focus on lowering your heart rate so
that I do a lot I think that's really
important and in in like once you get to
a sufficiently high level business that
happens pretty regularly I won't say
once a day but I mean it's close where
like things are coming out of the blue a
client is pissed off somebody like I
remember walking into we went to I got I
won't say who but we went to one of our
most important retailers and I literally
have no idea that there's like any beef
and I walk into the room and they like
start not laying into me but like they
were clearly agitated yeah and I was
like this is just practice like not
performance and and because it so took
me by surprise it was like okay this is
a fantastic opportunity to like not only
get myself there but now I have to
execute now can I get everybody back on
the same page can we get through this
moment where everybody is now back to
being open-minded where we can have a
productive dialogue and doing that like
really being prepared to show up on game
day that's very important so you never
know when they're going to present
themselves but they will present
themselves and if you remember to
practice in those moments you can make
use of them yeah and one of the
objectives of Andy Walsh with his team
is they're trying to create what he
calls anchor memories so when the bear
you know comes around the corner and you
remember the response you had in that
moment and you can apply to different
situations so when I asked you about
anchor memories you use those like for
instance when you're going on stage to
give a big talk you probably run through
the routine you just talked about and
kind of lowering your anxiety but are
there any memories that you pull back
yeah I don't do it all the time but I
definitely use that technique oh okay
you were in this situation and you
crushed it this time you did that you
crushed it that time like those are
that's really important and that's from
the notion of what happens in anxiety is
people obsessively imagine a future
that hasn't happened but is- and they
think about it so much they start
getting worked up or they may have had
that something in the past it really did
go wrong and so they obsessively think
about that and how bad it felt how
embarrassed they were and how they feel
like it really ruined their reputation
like whatever and they'll just over it
over and over and over and that
hardwires that anxiety response so
obsessively thinking about things that
have gone positively that is really
important because then you're going to
hardwire that this is actually a great
space for me this is a chance for me to
shine and that was one of the things
that really like got me back so when i
was young i would get nervous but not
anxious to speak in front in front of
people yeah
and that was like sort of my happy place
and i've gotten very good at it i
practiced through high school we've
talked about my lunch table comedy
routines and like all that I just done
it so much so much so much and gotten so
much positive feedback it was a great
place for me then I get into business
I'm always out of my element I always
feel clumsy and awkward so I begin like
talking in front of people now is
triggering anxiety which was totally
foreign for me and so then it's like how
do you get that going back in the
opposite direction so that you can feel
empowered again and part of it was using
all those anchor memories of all the
times that it had gone well obsessively
thinking about those instead of the
times that it went poorly and then like
remit because here's this is where it
gets really weird so let's say that
you're anxious going into something like
really anxious yeah but then you murder
it you do an amazing job what you'll
obsessively think about is how anxious
you were right and so you forget like if
the force yourself to remember what whoa
that wasn't like problem that was
awesome like you showed up you shine
this is amazing this is a chance for you
to really do something and show people
what you're about and I also think that
you get the sort of cultural collision
of don't be arrogant and this is why I'm
so bullish on pride people need to be
proud of themselves
because otherwise what happens is hey I
felt really anxious going into it oh I
know I did okay I did it like I did and
you're downplaying your performance and
so then afterwards because you won't
allow yourself to really go outside and
crushed it like I showed up I played I
did a great job I'm really proud of
myself I'm good at that I've worked
really hard to
good at that and I had a chance to shine
and I shine right so instead of that
because you want to allow yourself that
then you default back to the peak sort
of emotional experience that you're
allowing yourself which is I was anxious
as all hell
and so you obsessively focus on that so
realizing that dude if I crush it I'm
just going to own it I crush it and that
does not come naturally for me yeah by
nature like I want to downplay
everything that I've done I want to like
you know be humble be chill but like
being proud of yourself does not mean
that you're arrogant and so I think
people confuse those I am humble like
I'm truly impressed at the feet of
others and learn
I don't over value the things that I'm
good at but I understand like where they
play I understand how they help build my
self-esteem I'm proud of all the work
that I've put in so being able to own
the things you do well own the things
you don't do well and really look at
both an accord and then just understand
the whole notion of do and believe that
which moves you forward obsessively
thinking about anxiety is not going to
help so bad strategy I think that's such
an important concept and distinction for
people I know I've struggled with it I
know most people have probably struggled
with the fact that you tend to just
focus on the negative things the things
that went wrong right like yeah it was
good but there were these little
mistakes I could have done this better
I mean people especially people who are
ambitious and who you know want to
achieve greatness it's like you're
looking for those things that you can
improve and sometimes it's easy to
forget the things that went well which
will trigger further anxiety in the
future so one book that I just want to
give a quick shout out to is performing
under pressure mmm JP pally Frye JP
Polly Frye believes yes polygraph that
is a very detailed book gives tons of
strategies about how to deal with
situations like this when you your
anxiety of spiking and you need to
perform the situation and one of the key
things is you got to have that cookie
jars Goggins bed you got to remember the
times that you perform the times that
you pulled through that you you know
that you you've suffered and persevered
and when times are hard
and that's one of the key strategies
before you go into situations like that
a part of my brain is screaming that
it's JP Paulo
so I'm going to go with that okay Lance
all right ap Paulie FRA cool let's go to
next question here so I'm really
fascinated in this episode that you kept
asking Walsh about you know what what is
it that you're looking to help people
with these athletes and he was saying
it's not we're not helping them with
their craft they're already message to
the crowd really we're trying to take
them to the next level with themselves
it's about their psychology it's about
you know them being more introspective
and personal development it was so
fascinating and so it's about getting
them to understand who they are which is
I think is a strong argument for anyone
to work on that now right like you don't
have to become a master of your craft to
start working on that
so is there do you think there's one
before the other or do you think you can
do um if anything I think character
comes first I think really developing
because the buying into human
development is buying into the
foundation of how you learn and how you
excel and so I think that you know be
fascinating to look at like what these
early coaches are teaching their
students but certainly about that sport
or whatever it is that they're trying to
get great at they would have to instill
in them even accidentally a belief that
you can get better right otherwise why
show up every day sure so already you've
got a growth mindset in that area may
not carry over to other areas they may
start you know telling them no it's just
you're talented at this and now we're
trying to maximize your talent but if
you didn't have talent then you can
never do it but certainly in that arena
they're really going to believe that
they can grow and improve through
disciplined practice so that like laying
that foundation I think is so so
critical the thing that I loved about
what Annie was talking about is the
concept of character like were we
actually select he said like when we're
trying to put together a team we select
a character for yeah and I was like
became surprised by that because some of
the greatest athletes in the world like
seemed to utterly lack character
and I will say and I'm not going to say
this person by name and I'm not even
sure why but while I was researching J
Williams who's an upcoming episode great
fascinating story
like this guy really interesting yeah
and while I was researching him
I just kept encountering like other
basketball players and there was one guy
people kept talking about so I was like
I'm just going to go look this kid up
and his skill set is unbelievable
unbelievable and I was like how is this
guy not one of the most famous
basketball players of all time because
he's a dick
and I was like character means something
right like just wanting to be on his
team I was like I bet people don't want
to play with this guy
yeah like because he just seems like a
jerk and so that concept of character is
is pretty critical and I would much
rather meet somebody that I was like
this cat's got some character like I
want to be around and I think they're a
good human being I'd rather that like
and I would certainly rather somebody
said that about me then that I was
exceptional or something but like nobody
want to be around me like that so I
loved when he said that I was like I
love that that's like an anchor point or
a foundational element to like high
level success yeah that makes me very
happy yeah it was super interesting I
mean especially because I think a lot of
the projects they're working on they're
really team efforts and the stakes are
so high that everything has to go right
everyone on the team has to be
performing it to trust each other and
yeah I think you mentioned like yeah if
people aren't showing up with the
equipment that they we need for today
and they don't own up to it like that's
a clear indication that they don't have
the character for this team and they
usually fall off but you've hired a lot
of people so is that a selection
criteria criterion for you it's almost
the only selection criteria so there's
three things that I look for in any
teammate drives ambition and compassion
like I want people that really really
have grand ambition like you've got to
want something
really because otherwise I'm going to
seem crazy to you but also like I want
people who are intrinsically driven I
don't want to have to be their energy I
don't want to have to be the one pushing
them I don't want to feel like I'm
dragging people around like my wife
never has to remind me to get up and
work my ass off ever and I never have to
remind her right like she shows up to
play I show up to play like that's such
a nice thing in somebody else to know
like I'm not going to have to breathe
the life into them then the other one is
Drive because I find that a lot of
people have ambition like they want want
wrong but they literally have no like
they make no effort to acquire the real
skills or hold themselves accountable
okay so to me there's a lack of
accountability and ambition and a lot of
people are pacified by the dream itself
and they put up vision boards and they
see the big house and the fast cars and
all the things that they want and and
they never go but how do I actually get
there or now because that's like more of
an 80s reference actually that's not
true there's a huge swath of humanity
that follows certain influencers we
won't talk about and all the influencers
do is just show money houses cars like
over and over rinse and repeat and it's
like so the other one that's become more
insidious because of its ability to
pacify people I want to do good I want
to help I want to have impact all right
because I like wake up in cold sweats
that people like they gravitate to the
fact that we're called impact Theory now
oh yeah I want to impact how in what way
like when people say I want to make
somebody's life better in what way like
hyper specifically I've already talked
about it ad nauseam I won't go into it
here but Jesus like I have a specific
vision for how I plan to impact people
how I plan to execute on that how it
time to make it real like and we are
executing against the specifics of that
every day so because it is so beautiful
to want to help other people I think
people get lost in that so I am NOT I am
NOT an empty dreamer I'm not interested
in empty dreamers I want people that
want to execute
so that's where drive comes in drive the
ability to go I'm going to like grit
this out like I'm actually going to
acquire the skills and actually going to
do the work that I need to to get this
done and then the last one is compassion
and compassion is where everybody falls
down when you find people that are
ambitious and you find people that have
Drive they're the next thing for them is
normally competitiveness yeah and I love
competitiveness man dude I'm I've
learned to be competitive as an adult I
was not as a kid because I was always
terrified I would lose and so being
competitive when you are wildly insecure
that's not interesting so but once you
can train yourself to realize human
potential is limitless you can do
anything you set your mind to it's all
about the grit determination to see it
through okay well then I'm going to show
up to play like ah that becomes the
feedback loop am am I doing the things
that I need to do to be great
am i acquiring the skills I actually
need to acquire am I actually getting
great and so that like when people are
willing to admit that to themselves they
want to be the greatest of all time at
something like that to me is is no human
that's awake in the matrix because now
they're prepared to show up to play but
there's something that's way more
important than that to me and that's
compassion and so to say it another way
can you from a neuro chemical standpoint
enjoy somebody else shining can you
enjoy it like when your teammates the
one the shining are you like like and
like you just don't like the spotlight
not being on you and so like you're
going to try to trip them up hook them
up like in subtle ways big ways whatever
because it's like I want the spotlight
back on me
that to me is it's gross I'll be real
honest it's just gross and if you have
it trained it out of yourself
I believe we're malleable so like even
if you have gross icky things in you
which I do in spades but I am actively
trying to train that [ __ ] out of myself
so yeah like I am so excited for Lisa to
do her podcast and it's going to crush
and she it like because her co-host is a
massive social influencer it's going to
be huge immediately and Lisa came to me
it was like basically I don't want to
take anything away from what you do I'm
like are you crazy like I'm so excited
for you
like the second that you feel like you
have to tiptoe around me and you can't
[ __ ] smash it like I would make an
amazing first husband right now full
disclosure I would be trying to do my
own thing and build my own like I want
to win at the absolute [ __ ] highest
level but I love when other people shine
like I love that I'm the kid that
pretended not to see Easter eggs when I
was like 5 or 6 so that my sister could
find them because she loved winning so
much more than I did like there's just
some people like they I and this is
admittedly an early win for me like I
did not earn that at 5 or 6 I just wired
like that I idolized my sister I loved
seeing her happy and so I thought okay
the joy that I will get for winning this
Easter egg hunt and getting this egg
pales in comparison to how it will feel
for me to see how happy she will get if
she wins
so people that can enjoy other people
Shani is just I think good mojo but then
also from building a team perspective
when you feel you can trust people when
other people have your back and when
it's like this reciprocal loop of their
eye and make no mistake so if I'm first
husband there's still times I want to
shine I want to shine men and I'm going
to put myself in a position to shine I'm
in the carved space for me to shine like
it's important I think everybody needs
those moments to really [ __ ] shine
techne right to have developed the skill
put that skill to use helping other
people and to be recognized for it like
the recognition is important yeah so
that's like a whole thing make no
mistake like I want that as much as
anybody but when you're on a team and
it's like oh [ __ ] it's agent Smith's
time to shine like let's all get behind
it like in fact I don't think the person
is here but one of our teammates is
going to shine today you know about this
right do it who's here right now is will
here he's not okay so will graduated so
we're going to do like a little thing
just to be to show them the love to be
excited for him you know when somebody
crushes it we all gather around that
like when it yeah
in the scenes like we are not stingy
with giving credit to other people
that's one thing I love about this team
so that's a really long answer those are
the three things I look for
that is critical it's the only way that
you're going to keep the team together
because if people like frenemies are the
most like psychologically damaging thing
in the world if you have a friend of me
get rid of them right now right now
enemies are fine everybody knows where
they stand frenemies arduous when you
give it a definition of a frenemy
somebody who is meaningful in your life
at times they're good to you and at
times they're bad to you so you can't
like just draw a line and distance
themselves in your life it's like oh god
like you feel like there's a sense of
friendship or familial obligations so
you're staying a good friendship yeah
but then they you find out that they
undermined you in some way or whatever
and then it's just like you you never
know like who you're dealing with an
enemy you just know okay this person is
an enemy like there's actually like even
describing that I felt myself relax like
oh they're my enemy okay cool like I
know where we stand it's all good like I
have you in a part of my mind but when
you're a friend of me it's like I don't
know what I'm going to get and I really
had one thing I want to learn about
chase can you write this down for me one
thing I really want to learn about is
attachment styles of kids so I I know
enough to be dangerous about attachment
style so like depending on how they
usually talk about the mother depending
on how the mother is will influence the
child's attachment style so like if you
have a bipolar parent sometimes are nice
sometimes they're cruel or distant or
whatever like you get this sort of weird
ambivalent attachment style where you're
hot and cold as well and it's just super
damaging so but when mom is like always
a source of comfort right then you'll go
explore like you're way more confident
because you know oh god like something
happened I fell I scraped my knee a
friend was mean to me like we go back to
mom mom is always this comforting
blanket and you're actually more bold
and your attachment style to get the
name of it but like your attachment
style is
stable it's not the word they use but
you know whatever so it's positive so
that is what a frenemy creates that like
disturbance pattern like your yeah like
what do you do how do you engage and it
creates a psychic stress interesting
yeah I want to give a quick also a quick
shout out to the Gary Vaynerchuk episode
because what you're saying is now
reminding me of at the end of the
episode he says I want to build the
biggest building in town but not by
tearing any other buildings down yeah do
it
like I want everyone's building to be
big I just want to because it's
competitive
yeah happened to one of those the
biggest which I love so if you haven't
seen that episode go check it out and
let's go hard on that for a second so
I'm gonna make some really aggressive
statements here it the reason people
want to tear other people's down is
because they're mentally and emotionally
weak they are damaged human beings and
they're doing nothing to rectify that
like that is and here's the problem why
do people bully yes they're insecure but
here's the truth nobody wants to
acknowledge it's powerful
and when you bully people you actually
feel better and if you it that bully
really yeah that bully is when they're
bullying they're not crying inside right
it's the one time where they feel good
about themselves because it's powerful
it is powerful and so until you
acknowledge that it really does give
them a positive reward so to go to a
bully and say hey like this is really a
cry for help no it's not like that's the
one part of their life that's working
you have to replace it you've got to
give them other ways to shine that a
constructive that give them that feeling
of power and empowerment and control all
things that we all want so this is
somebody that probably has a
relationship with those closest to them
that makes them feel powerless I won't
say they're probably being abused but
they're just not getting that sense of
power control pride anywhere else and so
they have found that oh well I can prey
on the weak which they're not thinking
of it like that they just like feel
dominant
and that feels awesome and so they get
into this super negative pattern so
teaching people that it's okay to want
to have the biggest building that's okay
like that's a human trait like and not
everybody cares about that that's not
driving everybody but it just ABS like
I'm the same I want to build the biggest
business like I want to build the
biggest greatest studio of all time I
want to be the greatest interviewer of
all time I want people to recognize me
as the goat interviewer like and not
with any degree of hesitation right I
want that yeah that seems awesome I'm
not going to crumble as a human being if
I don't pull it off but that's awesome
and that's exciting for me to strive
towards like I want to do that and the
fact that I see how becoming the
greatest of all time and interviewing
and building this community around being
me like how that fuels the ethos of the
media company like I see that thread I
see that connection so it's like oh my
god the two things I really am enjoying
and I love acquiring the skill set and
all that like they self reinforce that's
how I know we've got the timing right so
it's like this is amazing but make no
mistake I I want to win over everyone
but I don't I don't want to [ __ ] anybody
like think about it right now so I would
say that from an influencer standpoint
Gary's ahead of me right yes it it just
seems objectively true to me the numbers
don't lie right perfect numbers don't
lie market is spoken but when he came on
did I try to [ __ ] him up
or did I try like with all of my heart
to make him shine to give him a platform
to show us out right like and I believe
that's the winning strategy like I want
not only do I not want to tear other
people's buildings down I want to help
them build theirs yeah I just feel want
to build a better one you know I mean
like and I love that and I love that
goal so but I think that's where people
get tripped up is they feel like they
can't do both right 100% again cool I
think we should probably wrap up yeah
yeah all right and I'll put this down
all right guys thank you so much for
joining us these are so fun I hope you
guys are enjoying the incredible human
beings that agreed to come on the show
as much as we are I am honored by every
guest that comes on and shares the same
way I feel about authors that they are
willing to take this stuff like dr. Andy
Walsh has spent decades acquiring this
knowledge and he just shares it openly
which i think is absolutely incredible
so I just want to express my gratitude
to each and every one of them and then
each and every one of you we just
crossed 50,000 on Facebook which is
amazing we don't take a single person
for granted thank you guys all so much
and if you haven't already subscribed
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time my friends be legendary
take care