Kind: captions
Language: en
what's up everybody yeah I'll I'll kick
us off here and explain what we're doing
we are this is a very special episode of
after impact live as always we are in
honor of international women's day we
are doing an all female cast today to
discuss none other than Amelia Boon and
we have one of our uh castmates there
off camera who will be reading the
questions which is Casey uh so yeah this
really is going to be an all female
version even wook is a lovely young lady
so super excited to have you guys do it
very glad that you guys were Champs and
ready to dive in it's weird sitting in
your seat yeah it feels it's kind of
weird nice well it's amazing so I'm
going to be B out before I go I want to
ask the first question o all right you
ready Well's
ready what was it about Amelia Boon that
surprised you the most while you think
about that I will step out enjoy the
show everybody make sure you send in
your questions Facebook live we want to
know what you guys yes so welcome
welcome this is a very special day we're
super excited we've never been in the
like yeah like the two of us haven't
ever done anything like this yeah so
first of all we're wearing red as much
red as we possibly can red I like
unfortunately don't own much red I
mostly wear dark colors so Ox blood it
is Ox blood aome um okay so me Bo the
thing that surprised me the most
um I think just having the Dynamics of
being a tough woman being sweet
intellectual I didn't expect that from
her because the stuff that I knew about
her she was just a badass and so kind of
having watching the discussion between
her and Tom and um what they were kind
of you know how deep they were going and
how realistic she could be about being a
woman and what she was capable of like I
was super impressed with that like I
loved her vulnerability in like all of
it like just talking about like the
issues and the struggles that she went
through I think the thing that most
surprised me or I guess like maybe most
resonated with me was the fact that she
talked about how after her injury and
like she couldn't do both like Spartan
Racing and like training and like being
a lawyer how it kind of dampered her
productivity like a little bit on the
law side because it's like now she has
all this extra time and so it like
totally brought me back to the times
when I like used to have like jam-packed
schedules where it was like non-stop
going all the time and it like was
probably the most productive I was
because it because it was just like
jam-packed and it was like well I have
to finish it by this time and be ready
by this time and go go go and it was
just like yeah like I totally get that
like you know that idea of like juggling
multiple things
at the same time and like using that to
your advantage yeah for sure so it was
cool to hear that from like both like
high Elite ends where it's like she's an
a power attorney and also like this
powerful racer I actually found that
really interesting in interview um and
if you guys haven't seen it you should
definitely go check it out it is one one
of my personal favorites um I admire her
like so much she's a badass but like she
said she's also an attorney what I found
interest interesting was when people
said um how does what's her identity and
it almost changes depending on who
you're around right and I'm so curious
on how many other women do that right
like if you're around your other female
friends does your identity alter a
change then compared to if you're around
a bunch of guys or if you're at work or
if you're with your kids or your family
um I don't know like how much of your
does your identity matter depending on
who you're with so yeah I'm going to the
question to
you I feel like I've always thought of
identity as like super fluid in that way
because like it is true depending on the
context like you fulfill a different
role so like I'm the oldest of four so
in my family like I'm always the person
kind of like trying to like run
everything and like you know solve
everybody's problems and like be the
liaison between my parents and my
siblings and all that kind of stuff but
then like when I'm with my friends I'm
not necessarily always a person like
trying to organize things and like plan
everything for every do you think that
you're not the respon the responsible
one when you're with people your age
versus when you're in a situation with
your family it like it depends so it's
like I guess maybe with my friends a
little bit more I'm like sometimes a
person who's like the calculated risk
taker if you will so it's um I'm
definitely like more fun and spontaneous
and I don't always have to like be in
that responsible role even if like in
the back of my mind I'm still like this
is probably not a great idea but like
you know it's just like a little bit
different in terms of that I guess
because it's like you're fulfilling like
a different Dynamic so it's like I feel
like people who knew me in college they
used to think like oh like there's no
way that she has siblings and whatever
cuz she's so like carefree and like
whatever and it's funny because you know
like at home my sister still thinks like
oh but you're so responsible I'm like no
like I feel like I'm being really
irresponsible right now but I don't know
it's
I guess it also depends on who's looking
yeah and I'm very much very much the
same um but it mostly for me I think it
depends on if I'm around my husband
Tom as you guys know him um or if I'm
around like if I'm in a role of being
the boss within the company right it's
very different than if I'm around even
Tom in the company because we've spoken
about this publicly before but um we
came up with really kind of defined
roles within our marriage and then
within the company business so um to me
he he is the CEO of the company and so
when if he puts his foot down then that
is the role that we have decided for him
to play and then for me to play the you
know the president role so I do adapt
and adjust depending on the situation
but I think as an oval identity like if
somebody asked me what I did um I don't
think that would alter to much
so yeah like the difference between
identity and behavior I think is like
there's a big difference there as well
but I think it's because she kind of has
like two professions yes like I think
that's the the difference because like
in terms of behavior absolutely like
you'll migrate and navigate the way you
see fit but like the fact is like if
she's like in a room full of people who
are all like other obstacle Racers or
like know her as an athlete like she's
probably going to be more inclined to
introduce herself as an athlete because
that's like what they expect of her so
the attorney part of it is like almost
like a secondary afterthought but like
in like apple like they don't know her
as Amelia Boon the like Spartan Racing
so it's yeah I think it's because like
she kind of has like these two very
solid like professions and I actually
Wonder so I don't have children but I
wonder out there all the mothers who
also were worker you know have a
specific profession do you guys identify
with being a professional when you're at
work and then a mother at home um or is
there like a kind of you know like an
overlap I don't know because I don't
have children so I'd love to hear from
you guys at home on what you think and
um yeah yeah I don't I don't have kids
either so I'm not let's hear from all
you mothers out there not quite sure in
fact my friend Nicole who's probably
watching right now in England working
mother I want to hear from you what is
your opinion all right all right so she
talks a lot about fear MH um she says
basically for her if something is
fearful then you actually need to do it
MH um I've heard Tom talk about that a
lot we talk about that here impact
Theory um do you think that's
Universal like do you think that
everybody should face Their
Fear uh whether you're a woman or a man
I mean I'm I kind of live by that
Guiding Light like in terms of all the
times I've had the most fun or like
learned the most or grown the most it's
always been like something that like may
have been like a little nerve-wracking
at first or it's like oh that's probably
not the best idea or like someone told
me no and I was like well I'm going to
do it anyway um because I'm also like a
little bit stubborn and rebellious in
that kind of in that kind of way me no
way yeah so it's like you know just the
same way that like I have three tattoos
now and my parent I know so I have three
tattoos and my first one I got and like
my parents never knew about it like ever
until I moved like home and I was there
for a while and then one day my mom
stumbled upon it because I was like oh
something like hurts and like I lifted
up my shirt and it was like right there
and she's like what what's that it's
like and I'm not sure if my dad knows
about that one but now he knows about
these ones but did you get it because
you did getting it's like I didn't fear
necessarily getting the tattoo but like
a lot of people say like your first
tattoo is going to hurt the most and
also like the most painful places are
places that are kind of like not fatty
so like your ribs are supposed to hurt
the most so my first tattoo was on my
ribs and it's like on the smaller side
but like even laying there on the table
like I went with my friend and it like
didn't actually hurt so it's like I
realized for myself that physic pain
isn't really something to fear like I've
never been afraid of needles and shots
and like she talks about that the Mind
Over the body right right so when the
body's fearing something like it's in
pain that you can tell yourself in your
mind like she she says it she talks to
her body and so like if she's got a bad
knee right she was talking to her knee
saying come on knee you can do it right
like almost coaching it through and I I
think that's really interesting with
women specifically and maybe she even
says maybe it's cuz a child C birth um
but once you kind of experienced the
pain you're like oh it's like it wasn't
it wasn't bad and then like the artist
like halfway through he was just like so
like I don't usually say this but like
it's really weird like you're not in
pain right now because like he seen like
grown ass men like [ __ ] squirming
like ah like ah stop like whatever and I
was just like laying there I almost took
a nap and like it was just it was kind
of weird but like emotional pain like
that hits me so hard like and that's
always been like the case like so I
don't know what that is either that's
actually really interesting cuz we it's
almost the reverse for guys right they
you know typically and this has been
very stereotypical but typically men
can't take physical pain right it's like
they stab they um you know stub their
foot on something and it's oh my God I'm
in agony you know a woman does it kind
of brushes her foot and then walks on
but emotional I actually think it's the
opposite right women have emotional um
punches to the
face um much harder than men and I'm
curious like do you think it's because
of um just stereotypes and people saying
you know because you're a man you can't
take emotion you have to like man up
like I actually hate that I hate that we
kind of put men and women on these
spectrum of physical and mental pain
because if you're in pain you're in pain
like if something actually hurts I don't
like him was like oh you're a worse stop
being a woman right like a why is that
being a woman I don't understand why but
then also have feelings if right if if
you're feeling that pain regardless if
you're a man or woman like I think the
brushing that to aside is kind of um
insensitive yeah so
no she totally relates with what you're
saying um her first tattoo wasn't that
bad but emotional pain really rocks her
as Wells you for validating her
experience and then Joe Cross wants to
know something that Casey's GNA tell you
all come on Casey Casey yes Joe Cross he
says Amelia spoke about how she didn't
really use cold therapy she likes her
hot showers but with standing cold is
definitely a part of her game how do you
decide what skills to develop in pursuit
of your
goals um that's a good question so
that's a great question I guess it's a
personal thing so so for me it's what's
holding me back so if I have a goal and
um the benefit of being married to my
business partner is he's very real and
honest with me so he'll say like look if
you want this you have to do this and no
matter what kind of excuse I may want to
give him he'll just call me on it so
it's and then looking at the people that
you admire that also do it right so if
there's someone that is doing exactly
what you want to do I think breaking
that down and looking at that person and
saying well what skills do they have
what skills don't I have that they have
and then kind of then saying okay well I
need to learn this and then prioritizing
what that skill level is yeah I mean I
go from the angle of like trying it so
like no matter what it is like you can
dabble in the skill until like you
figure out if this is something that you
need to like go hard after so like my
yeah so like so I'm not a runner and I
preface this because like day that I
decided to sign up for my first half
marathon I was still in the mindset
where I was like I'm not really a runner
but at the same time I need to I need to
do this because I feel like I've had too
much trauma associated with running that
I was like I just need to get rid of
that it was just like whatever just like
hitting the fear head on yeah so it
wasn't even fear it was just the fact
that like I hated running because every
sport you play that's your punishment so
it was like you're having a great at
yeah so like Varsity Athletics like
you're always running Sprints you're
like running laps like whatever and I
had a lacrosse coach that literally made
me like despise running because we ran
more than we actually practiced the
skills of Lacrosse and then in a game
when our skills failed we would still
run instead of working on those skills
to get better at it like I was in the
best shape of my life cuz I was playing
lacrosse and volleyball in that same
season but it was one of those things
where it's like I hate running and I
need to like do something about it and
so it was actually right after I
returned from my trip to Africa which
I'll tell you guys all about later
um is that I signed up 18 days before it
and I like ran I guess for 15 days like
you sign up 18 days before you into the
marathon and you never practiced never
really I didn't run mind come on that's
pretty impressive so it's like I was
like well I'm I have to do it like I
have a deadline now so it's like I need
to get out I need to get out and run
right so it's like I ran like I would
jog the most miles I ran was like seven
before I like did the half marathon and
I was like patting myself on the back CU
like I did seven miles and like and I
finished the race in like an average
amount of time so I was like well and
that's because like I was like I had no
choice like I was already there like my
mom's like at the finish line or
whatever with like so putting yourself
in that situ
you knew without giving yourself a
choice it forced you to like you had I
had to learn the skill so it's like I
looked up like what half marathon
trainings are like different tips and
tricks but at the same time it was like
I also come from a place where I know
that I can push my physical body so I'm
like not saying like everyone should go
sign up for a race 15 days or 18 days
before and like do it I'm just like I
just know that the physical aspect of it
I can overcome because like of you know
previous history and like Athletics
that's we actually do that here at
impact Theory where we kind of give
ourselves deadlines and we're so not
necessarily
ready take the set right so we BR
Michael Strahan and we didn't have a set
we didn't have equipment there was no
lights and so but having that pressure
of that deadline kind of forced us to
figure out how to get it done and then
figure out what skills do we have toh
get or even if we don't have time to
train on the skill just do it yeah
that's so interesting I never thought
about it from a physical perspective but
yeah so it's like it was kind of it was
cool it I was like I finished it I was
very proud of myself and then everyone's
like oh you're going to be super sore
after and like you're not going to want
to be able to walk like you're not going
to be able to walk and so it's like I
prepared for that like I like iced down
my whole body whatever and then the next
day I was a like an aerial yoga class so
it's just like it's kind of being able
to kind of prepare as much as you can
and then like go after it and try it
amazing see all right we're getting
Flags another question let's hear
itness oh I love Dan
Fitness a lesson fear has taught has
taught you H got some notes Here on fear
a lesson that fear has taught
me I think really to kind kind of like
aelia to hit it head on mhm um anytime
I've been fearful of something it's
never like not doing it has never served
me yeah so kind of just facing it and
saying okay well if I fail that's okay
right accepting the failure of that um
it's okay cuz I'm going to learn from it
yeah I mean in terms of like fear I feel
like I don't have that many because
because I probably have because I've had
a history of like always just doing them
so now it's like my fears are Heights
but it's not actually Heights it's more
like the fall so like if I were to look
over the edge and be dangling like yeah
I'm freaking out cuz like you know you
could die but like getting up there I've
like been able to like coach myself to
do that like you know rock climbing or
you know just climbing tall buildings or
going to rooftop parties like you know
it's it's again like putting yourself in
situations where the benefit of like the
experience outweighs the fear all right
so let's take fear from a different
perspective something you can't test so
for instance one thing Tom and I have
spoken about a lot is do we have
children or not now the fear that I have
is if I don't have children in 10 20
years God forbid something happened to
my husband but we have the the very
honest conversations right so if
something happened to him and in 10 or
20 years we don't have children and now
I'm alone and I'm too old I can't have
children what what you do then now I I
have that fear it's a genuine fear that
I have but I there's nothing to test
right so really for me with that fear I
go okay what's the worst case scenario
the worst case scenario okay I know that
in 10 20 years God forbid something
happened or on my deathbed whatever ever
I don't have kids I fear being alone but
is that fear worth sacrificing my
decisions that I make
today right a possible something that
could possibly happen right would I make
a decision today to change the rest of
my life because I fear what may
happen so that's something that I really
kind of talk about Tom and I discuss a
lot um and with that s situation I'm not
going to succumb to the fear so I look
at the worst case scenario and I um I
say okay I'm okay with that like it
would suck I would be obviously
heartbroken um I may regret it but I
can't make a decision now based on a
fear that I I have that could something
could happen right but do you also feel
that in in thinking about that worst
case scenario you've already prepared
yourself for it yes in terms of like
building the infrastructure around
yourself to like not feel that way cuz
you're not actually going to be alone
like you have family and like friends
and people who love you so like I feel
like it's it's in preparation for that
you'll know that like hey maybe I won't
have as like have Tom but like you'll
have like those pieces that kind of hold
you together so almost using that as a
way to
defit yeah cuz it's now cuz if I have
that for you're saying if you just look
at this the situation have other pieces
then it can reduce the fear that I have
currently yeah cuz like I mean it's
interesting at least for me sometimes
that's how I think of it where it's like
whenever I'm feeling like oh my God like
I'm so alone in this like I always like
pull upon like no but right now I might
be by myself but at the same time it's
like I have my sister I have my mom I
have my dad and if I didn't have them I
still have a lot of other people who
like form this like unit that like you
know occupies my heart if you will
that's actually a really cool way of
thinking about it I really like that all
right yeah got any other questions all
right all right so um there's actually a
couple of quotes that Amelia said that
really resonated with me um that I'd
like to read out and get your opinion on
oh oh before we do that case is waving
us the suspense of the quotes I
know uh we got some comments from Anna
minina says
be really unbelievable which I think is
about your half marathon oh yeah I also
I
also I also um I brought my Spartan
metal because this was another one of
those things where it's like I signed up
for it not knowing what it like how big
it was like so usually people like sign
up for Spartan races and they do like
the small one then the medium one and
then the large one to like form the
trifecta I was like well this one is a a
convenient date for me
and it seems nice and it it turned out
to be the one that was going to be like
14 miles and uh respect yeah so it's
like I did it I crushed it with one of
my friends Kim she's out there somewhere
maybe she'll see this I'll send it to
her later and give her that shout out
and so she was like she's the one who
actually told me after like I'd been
like let's sign up she was like you know
that's like the the big one right like
the the like 11 to 14 mile obstacles
like it's going to be kind of a cold
still in Jersey like what are you I was
like oh no but okay but isn't there
something to almost not knowing what
you're getting yourself into yeah
absolutely like absolutely and when she
said like it gets harder every time like
she does another one because like she's
had previous experiences to like pull
upon we were going into it blind like we
didn't know what like obstacles were
like the fact that like you start the
race over an obstacle like you don't
just like get onto the course and
they're like all right go they like have
you jump over a giant wall as your first
thing and then you just like keep going
with all the other obstacles all over
the mountain and then they te like our
race they teased us because like we
could see the finish line but like
between us and the Finish Line was like
a monster Hill that you still have to
get up and then like do some other
things I felt like there was more to
that comment or no yeah another com but
now there's several more comments all
right
let's yeah when you going to do your
full
and they're all really impressed hell a
thanks guys let's get Ahad to do the
full one yeah so that was like tell what
to expect so that was one of those
things where it's like I had all these
like you know Fitness related goals and
like so they were all serving me at the
time and like I had all this extra time
in terms of like training and going to
gyms and being like a cross athlete if
you will but then like after my move
like I feel like I'm still adjusting in
a different way so like even though I
want to I still have in the back of my
mind that I will complete like I think
it's three full marathons by I think
it's 2020 we had go that on camera I
think it's 2020 I need to like go back
and look at the actual sheet that I
wrote it on um but setting yourself
goals like that almost forcing you to
hit them because you don't want to fail
yeah so it's like one of those things
where it's like I had it like set out
there and um I'll do it like I the next
one I was going to do do was um sewe but
I was trying to sign up for it but my
internet didn't work in Bali and so I
missed that sign up for that like half
marathon in Vancouver so it's like there
will be another one they're like they're
plenty all the time it's just now you
know dedicating the time to like go do
it and I'll probably do some more
obstacle races cuz they're a lot more
fun to me well the one thing about
Amelia so um she actually oh let me
finish just this one cool thing about
Amelia I got to say it um so she
basically won um the world world's
toughest mother three times that's crazy
three times and that's competing against
men and women yeah so um and then one of
them was eight weeks after knee
surgery yep and she didn't put herself
in a category of she's a man or sorry
she's a woman and so she's not going to
be able to do it like she was like okay
I'm competing doesn't matter that I'm a
woman I'm competing against men it she
put herself at a certain level and I
will do this and I really just got to
respect that that woman is bad ass yeah
absolutely like it also kind of reminds
me of like when lared Hamilton was
talking about postsurgery and like Gabby
as well where they don't really take
like painkillers and things like that
because they like let their bodies do
the healing it and so I feel like it's
kind of that Mind Over Matter thing so
it's like she was like well I'm I'm
going to [ __ ] do it because it's like
I feel prepared enough and then just
went after it but I actually do that in
an emotional way as well so if
something's upset me or something
traumatic has happened in the family or
to myself or something it's giving
myself a certain amount of time to heal
but then after that you better let it go
and move on and I kind of see that you
know similarity in her where she's like
I'm in pain but I've got this deadline I
have to do it I'm just going to do it
like no excuses
many weeks to and then she was up and
doing it and I think that doing that
also in emotional way is very powerful
oh it really is I'm going to feel sorry
for myself for exactly 3 days and then
after those three days you better get on
to doing stuff doing stuff exactly
instead of looking and saying oh my God
I'm hurt or I'm in pain or I'm upset or
yeah I I find that very powerful yeah
all right Casey let's hear it Laura is
asking action steps you take when fear
is paralyzing your ability to make an
important
decision what's interesting is so
decision making yeah in my personal life
I actually find it really hard to decide
on
things because I think it's because I'm
taking into account other people's
emotions the people around you the
situation I don't want to be too fussy
when I'm really fuzzy um but that's why
I almost like I feel somewhat paralyzed
like oh I really want this but I don't
want to upset that person this person
wants that and then I have to take an
emotion into the into consideration when
it comes to business it's literally is
this going to hold the company back
right right I I can't be weak and let my
own fears hold the company back hold my
husband back hold what we're trying to
build back so for me it's like I don't
give myself the option to let it
paralyze me but in my personal life I do
because I'm worried about upsetting
people so I think yeah which is where we
do the whole selfish desire thing so
what's your selfish desire what's my
selfish desire um and then trying to
figure that out but um but yeah I don't
let it paralyze me in the work yeah
uh can you repeat the question really
quick
sure actually I think I digressed into
decision making versus fear but what are
some action steps you take when fears
paralyzing your ability to make an
important decision got it huh well I
mean you could go like the completely
silly route and like is that the route
you go so like sometimes sometimes like
I'll I'll like just put like little I'll
like okay so I love Post-it notes so I
might like Scribble down like what the
different choices are if you will and
then just like crumple them up and then
just like toss them what or whatever and
then just like pick up whichever one
like lands a certain way or like just
pick a random one right and then if I
open it up and like I'm not happy with
that decision then I know that like my
guts telling
me okay like this is what you actually
want because then if like whatever it is
like if I open it up I'm disappointed
like let's say it's like the toss of the
coin right yeah it's like the coin flip
except it's like now you also have taken
away like I didn't make this this
decision but like now I get to so it's
like because you relinquish control for
a moment and you were like you let the
universe the wind whatever take over
like that process and then you were
unsatisfied with it then it's like now
it's like okay so what is the actual
decision that I want to make you're
almost using that as a
realization of your true Deep Emotions
yeah so it's like cool yeah so it's like
it's kind of it's for me like now I I've
like really really learned that like I
love my gut and like my gut is usually
like right like most anytime that I've
like been like oh like maybe this isn't
and like it didn't feel right for me
like was probably not the best choice
like going to law school I like I value
everything that I learned there but it
was like a definite like point where it
was like I definitely didn't listen to
my gut but I listened to the
expectations of the people around me so
putting yourself in that situation where
your gut can speak for itself yeah I
actually do that with with um what I
wear with Tom so let's say I can't
decide what to wear there's a couple of
outfits I'm not sure on do I go sexy do
I go fun do I go cool like kind of not
sure I'll put on an outfit I'll show Tom
and then I'll put on the other outfit
and he'll say oh I really like that one
I almost then test myself like a I
didn't want to wear that but then it
goes okay well I realiz he didn't want
to wear that and then I'll wear the
other outfit now the funny thing is he
looks at me and he's s off camera he
looks at me he's like why the hell did
you ask me if you're not even going to
listen to my it's like it's not that I
actually am not going to listen the fact
that you gave me your answer allowed me
to decide trusting the gut feeling yeah
cuz it's like you already knew what you
wanted you already knew what you wanted
yeah but like something is trying to
tell you like maybe it'll be more
pleasing to Lisa like if I do this
particular thing but then it's like no
but then you realize what is my goal
right cuz if my goal is to make sure
that my husband thinks I look amazing
then I'm going to go with what he wanted
me to wear but if it's like I just like
there's a certain feeling I want to get
today so like I want to feel tough I
want to feel cute like whatever that is
then you kind of then go off that gut
emotion yeah aren't there like nerves in
the gut there are there are like a bunch
of neurons 50 million neurons 50 million
neurons in the gut yeah so it's like and
that's why there are a lot of links to
like depression and stuff cuz like I
think it's mostly serotonin and dopamine
down there nice yeah you
# so this is a quote that I really liked
quote section quote section all right so
I actually printed it as well cuz I'm a
very visual person so beating yourself
up over over something that happened in
the past isn't going to change it aelia
Boon what do you think about that oh
that's like 1,000% correct but why do
you think then people really do beat
themselves up like if everybody knows
this if everybody knows that when you
beat yourself up it's not going to
change anything why do you think we do
it especially women I think cuz I mean
part of it is like you get into a cycle
and like if you think of everything in a
cycle like once you start down a path
like you can create that snowball so
it's the same way it's like I'm already
sad like I'm going to watch a sad movie
and then it's like I'm going to cry
about it and then I'm going to cry about
something else like where you start
crying and then now you're thinking of
other sad [ __ ] to cry about like I've
also done that but like in this way of
like catharsis where it's like I know
that I need this cry like cuz I'm a big
crier like my all my emotions are
attached to my tear duct so like if I'm
overjoyed and overwhelmed like I'm
crying if I'm frustrated I'm crying if
I'm mad I'm crying like if I'm sad I'm
crying like if I'm so happy and I'm like
so in love and like like excited I'm
probably crying so at the same time it's
like you can get into those spirals
where it's like oh like one negative
thought's not going to hurt and then
like you start on another one and then
another one it's like oh remember that
time that someone in third grade like
they called me this and like now you've
suddenly blown everything into this
crazy thing but in the same way that
like if you were to stop and break that
cycle and then start on a new snowball
you can kind of create a different
positive effect like replacing with but
that's the thing of like making sure
that you stop that cycle yeah right
because so many people like you said it
starts off I'm just going to watch a sad
movie I'm just going to [ __ ] and moan
to my friend about this one I'm just
going to do this one phone call and then
I'm but then it almost feeds into that
feeling it does so yeah she talks about
that yeah and it's the same way with
like a lot of people suffering with
depression it's like it starts off as
like oh like I'm feeling kind of
lethargic and then like you do all these
other things that like start to create
that like effect and like suddenly
you're fully Paralyzed by it and you
can't do it anything and so that's why
it's like people talk about a lot about
like breaking those Cycles or breaking
your routine in
depression um right yeah in order to
help bring yourself back into the light
yeah and one thing that um Amelia does
which I really like is she actually puts
herself as like the third person M so
almost taking yourself out and then
looking at it um she tries to
depersonalize it is what um I believe
she says so it's kind of saying okay
well if my sister was at right someone
that you really care about a female in
your life or somebody in your life that
you really care about if they were doing
this what would I advise them the first
thing I would say is stop watching the
sad movie stop be talking about the
negative side of it right and then the
people around you have them speak
positively and I've done that in the
past as well like if I'm going through a
tough situation and I don't want pity I
don't want people to feel sorry for me
or to be like how are you feeling are
you okay because what does that do it
reinforces that neg
spir that you're in yeah like I have
some people that like I'll even text and
just be like can you just say something
nice to me today that's cool like
especially during law school when I was
like really struggling with everything I
would be like all right listen all I
need for you today to do today is like
just send me nice [ __ ] randomly but it's
awesome that you're aware of that yeah
and it's it's it's again that
self-awareness and like learning a
little bit about yourself as you keep
learning and like finding these other
tools that like help you through yeah
that's a really powerful one knowing
what to do and asking people to yeah
because it's like I was always really
bad at asking for help sometimes like
when it comes to like emotional things
so it's like now I I always take a very
like proactive approach is there
anything that you can remember that
broke that like how did you go from one
to the
other I can't think of a particular
instance but it was definitely times
when like I felt like I was struggling
in alone and then finally one day like
you know I randomly talk to someone at
like 4:00 in the morning and like a
college quad like eating french fries
and like realizing that like we're
having the same experience and so it's
like okay so if I'm feeling this way and
like on the outside I feel like oh she's
so put together or seems put together
then it's like okay so that means that
other people kind of need this service
so it's like something that maybe I
started doing for others sometimes and
then it also was something that I was
like well if I know that this helps them
and like makes them feel good then like
maybe I can ask for it back that's cool
and so it's like definitely something a
lot of like my closest girl friends we
do like sometimes where it's like
they'll just send us text where it's
like I haven't heard from you in a long
time it's like everything okay or it's
like I'd send that same text it's like
oh like how's everything going because
it's like you to know someone's like
patterns and things like that and yeah
and then even within my own family all
right I think we've got another
question nice let's do Hey Joe what's up
Joi made the decision to go all in on
obstacle Rising how do you decide what
good things you sacrifice in order to to
pursue
being God I love that question um at
least for me it really resonates because
um I love what we do here I love what I
do in my position I love the company
we're building I love our goals um and
it kind of comes down to you know the
question I had to ask myself was like I
grew up thinking I was going to have
children right Greek Orthodox you get
married you have kids um I even remember
even in a ceremony I was just recently
at one I was like huh yeah I love my
father to bits two bits
but um when I told him I wanted to go to
film school he you know he's very kind
of um traditional in the math the
history the teacher profession um and
when I wanted to go into film school he
was like no there's no money in it what
are you going to do like that's you know
and I was like hellbent and he turned
around to me eventually and he was like
well you going to get married and have
kids in O it doesn't really matter sure
that's how I ended up going to film
school he allowed me to go because he
thought that I was eventually now I
didn't take that personally cuz for me I
was like awesome I get what I want right
um but it was ingrained in me in my
culture that basically you're going to
get married and have kids so after being
married you know we're now going on our
15-year um wedding anniversary U we've
discussed it every year and the truth
has every year that I've gotten older I
found myself more and more and I found
God I hate to say my calling cuz that
almost sounds a little cheesy but I
found what I really and passionate about
and um working towards that I've really
thought about the struggle between
having a family being a mother having
kids and then being a professional yeah
um and so really I think It ultimately
comes down to what is that final goal
I'm trying to get to right um I know
that I don't want to have kids and then
have someone else bring them up right so
I kind of almost breaking things down
into like micro decisions so it's like I
don't want to have um a nanny just look
after my children if I'm going to have
kids want to be the D you know the main
person in their lives so if I know that
then um I know that okay well this means
that I would have to give up work at
least for some period of time and then
do I want to do that does that move me
towards my bigger goal of creating
impact MH and then saying okay these are
my two buckets and which one am I
willing to sacrifice more and that's at
least how I've taken um multiple things
that I've wanted to do and kind of
decided which ones to pursue yeah that
totally makes sense I feel like I'm I'm
still pretty like early in that like
grand scheme of Life decision making
process but like definitely even like on
the micro micro level choosing what to
pursue so like I I played Varsity Sports
all through high school and then given
the choice between also playing varsity
volleyball and like playing club like I
chose Club because at the time I was
like well I just spent being British I
have no idea what that means
so I was really good at
sports so I was really good at lacrosse
and volleyball so like the decision time
came where I was like do I want to
pursue LaCrosse or do I want to pursue
volleyball like even in terms of so I
did like extra camps and practices and
all that stuff for volleyball there's
only one you can so it's like I mean I
did both of them for a while in college
I was like well I could also try out for
the varsity team there and spend another
four years being a varsity athlete and
so that you know that's a different time
commitment that's like a lot of
different things but like for me when I
was making that decision I was like well
I know that there are a lot of other
passions I wanted to pursue but because
of like the time that I dedicated to
Athletics I couldn't pursue them so I
was like well if I want to pursue maybe
the Arts or if I want to like try
something new like I don't want to
necessarily like have something get in
the way of that so it was like even in
making that decision where I was like
well I'll take the one that's like a
lesser time commitment but still
fulfills like the fun and like team and
conrader and like eventually I was
president and coach of that like team
and
everything was just like figuring out
what my goals are for those next four
years or what I wanted my next four
years to look like so like that journey
of self-discovery and not having
necessarily that team unit like
automatically from day one was also
integral to like my college experience
so it seems very similar having that big
goal and then making small micro
decisions along the way that take you
there yeah nice all right let another
one case we're on a roll with these
questions
Anna how do you know when it's time to
rest of it or the goals that you set for
yourself were actually Way High
oh well Amelia talks about rest that's a
big discussion between Tom and Amelia um
and so yeah I mean it's really God God
it's can you repeat the question I want
to make sure that I
actually how do you know when it's time
to rest or if the goals that you have
set for yourself are actually way too
high right so I'm going to quote um Lisa
Nicholls she says I don't seek balance I
seek Harmony oh my God love it when she
said that it so resonated with me
because some people need balance in
their life they need equal amount of
rest equal amount of work time CU that's
how you're not one of those people no me
either but that's how they then kind of
say this is how I stay centered this is
how I keep my calm because I need a you
know a balance of both I actually
don't so knowing that about myself but I
still seek Harmony right so I will go
hard in the gym I will go hard at work
and once upon a time I used to feel
guilty about resting right like if I'm
just sitting there watching The Real
House Wives of um Orange County Beverly
Hills what up Lily my sister's obsessed
with it as well but um right like using
that time saying I'm not learning
anything it is pure guilty pleasure of
why I'm watching the show but it's okay
and allowing yourself those kind of
things in your own mind about like is
this is this something that I need to
help me move forward and the truth is
yes sitting down for me and watching
mindless television is exactly what I
need to then hit the gym hard the next
day to hit work hard um but it's not
balanced it's you know an hour of
watching mindless television versus 12
13 hours of hard work yeah um so I yeah
so I don't I just and knowing myself and
knowing when I need to yeah that self
that self-awareness thing and like
balance doesn't necessarily exist but
like it's been a trial and error thing
for me yes because like like Amelia said
like you can push yourself and like I
have pushed myself and like sometimes to
the point where it's like all right you
actually need to slow down cuz your body
is shutting down like you are shutting
down and so it's like now it's like I'm
because I've done it enough times like I
can just be like all right well I need
to do something whether it's like I need
to fulfill more soul