Kind: captions
Language: en
if you really want to give a character
an obstacle to overcome a need
I mean the base one is life and death
the following is a conversation with
Matthew McConaughey a legendary
oscar-winning actor and one of the most
unique charismatic and inspiring humans
and Texans who walk this Earth
he starred in films and shows loved by
me and millions of others including
Interstellar Dazed and Confused Dallas
Buyers Club Killer Joe mud True
Detective and soon a spin-off of
Yellowstone
off screen his words carry wisdom and
power in his book called green lights
and his new video course called road
trip where Matthew expands and the
philosophy in his book and shows how to
apply to your life in order to find more
happiness success and love
this is the Lex Friedman podcast to
support it please check out our sponsors
in the description and now dear friends
here's Matthew McConaughey
let's start with love
your parents had a Complicated Love
Story
divorced twice married three times
what did you learned about love from
your mom and dad and their love story
that it's messy
that it takes work
that
it's ugly
that
no matter how great a mess it is
don't go to bed
until you've
come back together to either Embrace or
admit that you truly love each other
even if you hadn't solved what the hell
you're bitching about
that
love will win
in the end literally three to two
with my mom and dad yeah
um
and that even in the two divorces and in
the two times where they couldn't live
with each other
they still loved each other
they just couldn't
live with each other at that time for
whatever reason they needed and I don't
know the details if they needed their
space Freedom or what but they were
never out of love
with each other
um
and that
as a parent
if you just if you when we're not sure
what to do
and you people give you a thousand books
and advice
as a parent
if your kid
knows you love them
you're in the black
that's the main thing it won't work
without that
um and it can work and will usually can
work with that
they just know that fact
so it's not just love for each other
it's the love for the bigger family
that ultimately helps you persist
through the ups and downs
well
[Applause]
I mean I don't know how much
particularly my mom and dad were
staying together at times maybe when
they didn't want to because they had
children I don't actually think they
considered that
I I I I think they were
much less conscientious than say
I am
today I think my mom and dad were more
like
they'll be fine we love them they'll be
fine but we'll we'll cross that bridge
when we get there right now they would
let's work it out between you and I is
what I think my mom and dad were saying
to each other or or not they uh um
they they
wanted and needed a relationship that
was a tidal wave Rocky right angles
tsunamis and to this day
in in my life with Camille and I which I
don't I like a river has some swerves
and some some streams and some Rapids
but I'm not looking for a tidal wave my
mom's like
what's all this everything so smooth
yeah stuff come on come on come on come
on so she challenges
like Vitality because that's what my mom
needed to communicate I don't think my
dad needed it as much
of that uh the the the the the the the
the the
hard angles
that their relationship between my dad
needed as much as my mom
but the clashes demonstrated the passion
that underlies the love yes and that's
I've I've always been asked you know
when I talk about my parents love
relationship I tell the stories
that are actually sometimes quite
violent
and there's some good stories there
they're beautiful I think they're
beautiful yeah I think they're beautiful
too but I've had people go wait a minute
that was unhealthy you can't dead and I
was like no that's again back to the
beginning Love's messy in that what I
love about those stories is
that's where the love was actually it
was tested
and it could have broke and been over
yeah and it never was again the love won
in the kitchen floor or the blood's
drawn
knifes are pulled ketchup ketchups all
over
but we make love on the kitchen floor to
end yeah I mean come on beautiful so as
romantic as it gets right there whoa
uh what's the memory from childhood that
helped set you on the trajectory of
becoming the man you are today
standing on the corner with Mr Mayor
principle of Saint Phillips school I was
in kindergarten
I
looked up and there was a cloud in the
sky
and I said Mr Mayor
is that cloud as big as the world
and he paused for a minute and he goes
well yes it is Matthew
now my seven-year-old mind I went okay
I can see the outlines of it
and
that must mean it is so far away because
if that's as big as the world I remember
it took 15 hours to drive from from
Longview to Florida last year you know
and and I can't even see that far so
that cloud must be so far off
that is not worth me even considering
space dreams
anything I was like
Army I'm looking down I'm gonna put my
head to the ground I'm gonna look right
in front of me and deal with what's in
front of me because dealing with dreams
and what's out there and not on this
Earth that gravity holds down not worth
considering you never make it it's not
even worth imagining it's it's fairy
dust
so
I think I got
learned a lot of self-reliance from that
I think I I got a work ethic from that I
think I got a
hey focus on what's right in front of
you
do the deed
take care of what's in front of you one
at a time and slowly Notch up your way
and hopefully there's some Ascension to
that
and
it wasn't until
40 years later
in some ways decades later that I
started to go
oh
I can project I Can Dream why because
literally the first time I got in a
plane and in 30 seconds I was in a cloud
I'm like whoa we must be going a
trillion miles an hour because we're
already in that cloud that was as big as
the world that I saw the edge of
and then I grew and learned enough to go
well that's not true train planes don't
go that fast
oh
what Mr Mayor said wasn't really true
that cloud is not as big as the world
and it's not near as far away as I
thought
but I'm glad he lied to me
what do you think about that that
tension of a way of living life
between being a dreamer and a pragmatist
yeah
which is a better way
Donnie holds the
the reciprocity the two of them I mean I
can't be present unless I got plans
I wanna I wanna have the big picture in
mind but I gotta go a day at a time I
like to write the headline or have a I
think we need to have a North star
something to look forward to
but we all know that if we're staring at
it
we're tripping on the way
if we're just you know the old
you read the Hallmark cards you take irk
me you know dream it you can do it
I think that's it
half-assed horrible thing to tell
somebody yeah you know because uh um and
you talk and then on the other side you
have things like you know people say
hope means nothing well yes it does
that's the dream
you just don't stop there it's not a
period after that word now what do we do
practically
and I think that constant tension when
that tension to dance is when it's
beautiful there's an asthma but to see
those as contradictions I think is where
we where it's fallen short so I don't
I one on their own
if we Silo the two
um if you Silo the two I guess the the
pragmatics the one to go with because at
least you'll get something done but if
you only Silo the dream and don't do
anything about it that's you're kind of
living an illusion and kind of living in
a virtual reality Yeah It's Tricky even
the people you love can sometimes
suffocate the dream
can uh
make you believe that it's not possible
it feels like a lot of parents kind of
want you to be safe want you to be
stable want you to have a plan so that
everything's gonna be okay yeah and the
dream feels like a threat to that
yeah
how much of that though I wonder is is
proper initiation
because if you throw in dreams out I
call it conservative very liberal late
let's learn to block and tackle it's
learned that work ethic those things
those pragmatics first
learn the rules of the road the rules of
the game the things that we can all kind
of rely on this is how the world's
supposed to work now it doesn't always
work that way you know you teach it
teach a child to drive it's like yeah
you stay in the lane you go speed limit
this is all helpful but that doesn't
guarantee that no one else is around the
red light but we learn that later
um
there's an initiation I think that's
proper
with
the dream I mean you I I think parents
my parents very much that way the idea
of going to chase an acting career or
something was what
it was it was that was a different
vernacular that was like not in our
I was taught to work away up a company
ladder and
nine to five do your job
but the day I brought it up and said I
want to go to film School
and I thought my dad was gonna go you
want to do what boy
he was like
gave me something best advice ever and
told me not to half-ass it and
said go
in between the lines
what he heard from me
was that made him so happy as a father I
believe and makes any parent happy
is when our child doesn't ask us
permission to go chase a dream oh yeah
when they're going I'm bringing it up to
you with full respect yeah but I'm doing
this with her without you that's when a
parent goes ah yes
I've done something right enough I made
I helped my child be secure enough in
the pragmatics to have a foundation
enough where they have the courage to go
I'm flying The Nest to take the leap
you wrote after my dad died I had a
dream that left me with a statement less
impressed more involved yeah what do
those words mean to you
we got to be more than just happy to be
here
I'm big on gratitude but we've got to be
more than just thankful to be here or
dream it you can do it it's got to be
more than just dream it you can do it
that's impressed uh the dream is still
other than
um
if
I'm
here and so impressed
talking to you today
if I have a reverence
to an extent
I will not be able to be involved in
this conversation
I'll be too impressed I'll be
anticipating
oh what's that question he's gonna he's
gonna he's gonna ask oh I think I know
he's going this oh I think I know what
Andrew he might love to hear oh I I'm
not involved in conversation I'm too
impressed
so I'm removed
from
the present
um
for me
what that literally meant to me
when that came to me in a dream and I
carved it in I remember carved it in a
tree it took a couple hours
I still want to still know where that
tree is Santa Monica
it was uh um my father had moved on he
left this life all of a sudden it hit me
oh I don't have the safety net
my dad was above law and above religion
to me he had me he if ever really if I
really was in the shit if I really
needed him I trusted that he had my back
above law above anything
Allison he's gone
I'm going
okay it hit me how much I've been
pretending to be the young man
I was trying to be and not actually put
my ass on the line and have enough
courage to take risk and actually own up
to the man that he was trying to that he
was teaching me to be
and I remember
the world got flat
that cloud that Mr Mayor that I saw
there was not way up there it was
it was fog in front of me now
and let's go into it it was
I kept
I'd say I probably gained even more
respect
for people and things
but I lost a certain amount of reverence
that was keeping me from feeling like I
deserved or I'd earned things or or
looking out for myself
or hold myself task
um
and I remember all the things that I and
I was just getting going to Hollywood
the time so I was getting Fame was out
there
as one of those clouds
you know with being an actor and all of
a sudden celebrity and becoming famous
the reverence I had
I remember it just
it lowered down to eye level
and I was able to realize it and go
that's not a that's not fairy dust and
don't give it so much credit to make it
fairy dust
like oh I not me no I could never no
look that in the eye with full respect
but less reverence at the same time
equidistant almost equal sublimation a
notice where I had been
condescending people and things and
patronizing and sloughing put things off
as like less than me and not worthy of
my time it raised up to eye level and so
they were all flat in front of me and
the world was flat and I was able to
shoulders went back my heart rose up my
chin lifted up I looked the world looked
things in the eye I became probably less
sentimental
hopefully not to a level that I got
callous but I know it became less
sentimental
um
I became more courageous
because
you know when you have someone pass in
your life
or maybe it's similar to a situation
you're going on in your own life with
your Homeland you you sober up
on these mendacities that we deal with
every day and this this bullshit that we
that we that we we oh we give too much
credits or too much significance to and
you're like what am I doing
why am I I'm not even gonna let myself
emotionally get brought down or over
related by this situation because I'm
this is it it doesn't really matter in
the big scheme
and so we we certain things that I I
found reverence for and and hesitated
from in my life
I was now engaging with because I was
like oh it's live this live is live
let's look at the eye and and go forward
through it and deal with the
consequences
what do you make of death does this
scare you
I'm not looking forward to it but it
does not scare me
do you think about it
do you visualize it
I do
I do and
it's a beautiful visualization and a
beautiful dream when I go as part of the
food chain
it's not a good visualization when I go
as
part of a random act of violence in the
freaking drive-by or something because
the second
the act the accident
it
breaks a story that I believe has
already been written
at least I don't have the capacity yet
to to put it into a a a a a story a
Divine story
of the lives that we we live
and so there's something ugly and gross
about it
and it happens all the time uh you know
to to people all the time I just feel
like when it's part of the food chain
when I go as part of the food Jam I'm
like Ah that's poetry part of the flow
of nature you return to Nature
yeah there's Grace and poetry in that
do you miss your father thank you
take a bottom
when I think about him I do now when do
I think about him
thought about him yesterday
working through a script I'm working on
right now working on scene work
and I just had that quick little
reaction of
wanting to show him hey check to see
that's right and then I
I don't get sad I go yeah he would have
loved he would have loved this
where's my mom
wants to be on the stage my dad would
have been on the front row
he's more fun to show stuff too yeah and
he would have you know as as what he
would we would have he knew he was a
character he knew characters I've based
parts of all kinds of characters I've
played in them and the man that that I
am on people that he introduced me too
and who he was
um he would have loved the creative
process of working on a script or
talking about hey movie do I always say
I love the movie Mud
because it's the one that I I visualized
and seen my dad come to me so many times
as a 12 year old and put his arm around
and go hey little buddy you see this
movie called Mud God damn it it's a good
one let's go watch it
that now my dad was never got to see me
start a career in film but he was alive
five days
into the over he overlapped the first
five days of me working on my first film
days confused now that I think is
There's Something Beautiful about that
he didn't never ever come to the set we
didn't talk about it but he was alive
for me to start something that was more
than uh
uh more than a fad that was something
that would become something that I love
to do and I do miss
not him you know and then I go out of
that do I I I we talked about him two
nights ago
with our with our daughter I was I was
rubbing my daughter's feet
and my mom is living with this 91 comes
in and goes oh look at you just like
your pop
he was like what he goes oh because my
dad loved her
rub somebody's feet rub my mom's feet
rubbed all
of me and my brother's girlfriend's feet
when we would have a date yeah
they would come over early
because they knew they were going to get
a foot rub from Jim McConaughey and then
we'd come out me and Matilda Brothers on
this has been on for decades we come out
y'all ready to go buttoned up and
they're looking like a hot we ain't
going anywhere right now
and so we told the story you know to my
to my daughter and I was like oh yeah my
dad's his hands and miss his hand his
hands could heal so you carry him in you
I hope so
I I I hope so and in
it's a uh
a challenge
for me and I suppose it's like this for
any
son
how much do we hang on to
and how much do we let go
involve and update the OS and and and
and and and try it maybe better or
different
you know
it's that there's certain things that I
know that I fully believe in it's like
when do we religious when do we Cast
Away Our Father
you know when do we say no I'm going
after the dream I'm not asking your
permission
I I I
question that from time to time for
myself because I and it almost feels
blasphemic if that's a word sometimes I
feel like you can't what are you doing
you can't check that and go like well no
I'm not sure if I want it really
and then I immediately kind of let
myself off because I believe where he is
he's going
go but yeah go you're free man yeah
you're not I'm not not the only one I'm
not gonna hold you back if you've
misread that or I didn't teach you that
as well as maybe I wish I could have go
you're free
you're not gonna lose trust that you're
not gonna lose it's in your DNA it's in
your lineage young man
still it's scary to not have a safety
net losing your father is scary in that
way you realize this world is just you
and some deep fundamental way it's just
you
yeah you're alone
yes
but I mean also not having that
it's such a gift of Deliverance though
as well
because it's a
I think it's an I mean
it's an awesome feeling to know
to know we're alone to know we don't
have that to know you don't have to take
two
or take three that it's one take I mean
the peripheral vision
improves
you know the the the the the
link and understanding with our past
improves because I know for me I was not
ever considerate of my past at all
because that my dad had that
if I needed it he was my will for that
well he's gone you know except he had
the literally had they have our back
well and then when they longer have our
back also I'm going like oh maybe I need
to look back and start giving some
credit to how I got here
what I'm doing and where I'm heading it
gave me the first time courage to even
look over my shoulder
because again I didn't have to because I
don't have to look dad's got my back no
dad's gone
from this life he doesn't have your back
okay
so I mean
I don't know me because
it's inevitable I
I very quickly go to
all right in the in the pain the loss
and yes
even lonelyness which is different from
being alone
and loss
pretty immediately part and parcel with
the pain I felt it
in the pain you saw the gift the the red
light of losing your
losing your father pretty immediately
less impressed more involved I came like
a couple weeks
after moving on
is there a trick to that to see the gift
and the pain that's a good question is
is there a trick to it
not that I know of
I mean I don't
I have to I I
have to catch myself from
trying to intellectualize my way into
the reasoning
and not skip over real
feelings and discomfort
I mean I I did get that from my mom and
I have to watch it that that so
resilient that we just dust ourselves
off and get up and go
you want to sit in the feeling you want
to feel it you want to deeply feel the
pain I want to I want to deeply feel it
I want to look at the eye and deeply
feel it
but I don't want to wallow in it yeah
um now I was raised where you skipped
the deeply feel and let's go
and I've said it before but that will
lead to having
turned into a person who is a repeat
offender of the same crimes because you
you just get up and you don't
you don't have a winter in your life you
know what I mean you don't have either
there's no introspective time you don't
look over your shoulder at the end of
the past and so you just get up and
you're like
all right I've I've stepped in the same
pile of whatever 100 times and I'm fine
I'll do it 101st doesn't hurt hell it's
good luck well hang on a minute maybe we
want to stop and go what can I learn
from that
but it it it it
I don't know of a trick
I think I think that I think that I
think our fifth there's any trick I
would say
it's just it how quickly can we admit
the inevitable
I just want to talk about in the book
about because I get once you once you
know it's inevitable how do we get
relative yeah not skip it not throw it
to the side not deny it which I'd love
to talk about that here sometimes too
about the value of denial sometimes the
value of denial yeah
um but how quickly do we do we once
something's inevitable go
okay any mind and hard time I'm spending
about going no I can't believe that
happened no did that really happen
anytime we spin it trying to deny that
what has already happened that seems to
me to be I'm not sure the value of that
time
so if any if there's any trick I would
say once you know something's inevitable
even though how painful it is or how
awesome it is
start getting relative with that and in
the relativity is seeing
there's a gift here and if I realize
that gift I'm
honoring now I'm on to building up
the beautiful passage of my father
leaving this life now I'm on the march
to go yes let's let the Legacy let this
become omnipresent let him live through
me let me become more Hamlet
it's transformed yeah so what value is
there then to uh denial
any
oh I think they're valued if you really
commit to it
laughs
I get this from my mother yeah
so it's a very pragmatic uh value coming
up to the denial okay
and and and and and and my mom yeah does
it to an extent that that that that I'm
like
mom do you have any consideration or
context of situations and she does this
is the thing every time I go she's not a
shallow woman
but if it is not if it is something if
it is something happens
in her life that is
keeping her from going where she wants
to go or having or a joy
inner life that she does
feel straight ass deny it happened
didn't happen
no did Mom
we're right here I I heard you yeah what
you said
no didn't you heard something else mom
now
did she get to manage down that she's 91
hell yes she gets some Amnesty on that
um but I've
she's not
he had a she repeat offend yeah but it's
it's misdemeanors
you know what I mean I mean it's like we
all it's part of that thing when you got
a family member you're like yep that's
just what they do Just go with it you
know and and and it's and it's
it's ingenious in a way it's a tool she
does I think it is more of a trick with
her she wouldn't even so ingrain there
it's not a trick it just do it done
and and I and I another reason I bring
this up it's outside of just my mother
is
like
I did this uh
uh
road trip course in this Art of Living
event a few weeks ago
yeah
out of hundreds of thousands of
chats that came in and responses that
came in afterwards it seemed to me that
about 80 percent of people's challenges
and problems even in their life were
something in the past that they were
hung up on
that they could not seem to get past and
it was it was holding them from going
where they wanted to in their future and
so
I thought that was revealing I would
have thought I I would have thought that
was I don't know going in 40 it was
eight it seemed to be 80 percent yeah
and then I thought about okay
if you're here in the live show and you
want to get the course you're into some
sort of therapy or
education or development or something
whatever okay
and I have a lot of
friends and I know a lot of people that
earn weekly and daily
therapy
and then I know there's a lot of people
that are on prescriptions
drugs
and while the therapy
and the right prescription to the right
person for the right
uh diagnosis is necessary I I'm
questioning
is there a value to going
if you're not getting past this today
this week this month this year almost in
a decade goes by and you're still hung
up and you can't get rid of that thing
and your memory where we
and you it's got you paralyzed and
you're you're a victim of it is there
and you're doing the therapy and you're
doing the work and you're taking a
prescription if that's what you're
taking where does your is there a value
in going
if it's holding you back from going
where you want to go maybe you should
just deny the fucking thing ever fucking
happen Kick It In The Head kick it off
the curb
I'm done with you
I'm sick of you I'm tired of hanging out
with you I'm tired of that thing
whatever it is hold me back from going
where I want to go so if I if I can't
wax the car
you know and and and get past this thing
just
kick it that's so powerful so
one thing to do like with the loss of
your father is to try to transform it to
discover the gift in it the gift and the
pain but if you can't keep looking keep
looking you can't find the gift and the
pain just deny it ever happened
you could call that a trick
but I think it's more than a trick
because let me say this
my mom after my father died went on and
found
a second love of her life
for seven 19 years they were together
CJ karlick
love you buddy he's moved on now
did she check with us a little bit
like is this okay
she gave us a little lingering half a
second look that we knew that maybe was
what she was asking and we came to it
was like yes it's okay and you know who
else is saying it's okay who's dancing
up there for you Dad
so
was that her denying
that the man she was divorced from twice
and married two three times and had
three children with
had moved on no
but she didn't say I'm not you know
well what's the book on how long I'm
supposed to say single before I can be
interested in another you know there's
not a book on these things
how do you feel is loving is is loving
CJ mean you love Dad less no
is finding a new life and a new dance
partner in this life and CJ mean that
Dad wasn't your dance partner
the dad wasn't the love of your life
no
so I don't know I mean
in there maybe you know maybe there's
another word I think it's denial but
it's not really denial because it's not
like it didn't happen that's a
earlier example I was giving a mom she
will absolutely go
that light's not on Mom the lights on we
just that light's not on if I say it's
not on sometimes you're just like that
makes no sense you just absolutely
denying what just happened we even have
it recorded and she'll go well the
recording's line yeah I mean is that's
part of a coping deal with her but I
mean what I think is more important or
more valuable is to talk about this
she didn't deny my dad
I didn't
but she sure as hell Turn the Page
and said I can still start a whole new
category a new life a new love let my
let my heart love and be loved by
someone living
in this life today that I'm still living
in
and that will not trespass on my love
for my husband your father Jim
McConaughey and I think I I mean we were
just
thought that's beautiful yes Mom go talk
about green like go
now if we're hung up going
can't have one or the it can't have them
both
gotta have one or the other now we start
to make a contradiction of the two ideas
again which Dawn our contradictions get
us in trouble all the time man that's
life though the contradictions right
but is it life if if we just admit the
contradictions or so much don't they
become a paradox
would admit that that's part of it yeah
if if contradictions are inevitable they
essentially they do become a paradox
don't they
then where in the Honeywell
then we're sinking and dancing
and have
leniency with ourself while still
holding our self to task and it's it's
I think it's holding on to no each
contradiction oh here it is again so
it's a one-off it lives on its own
separate from the last one no it doesn't
they're connected that's why they are
Paradox and then that's I think that's a
much
I think that's where life really is
in the Paradox yes in the dance of it uh
I think the metaphor of red yellow green
lights is just so simple and so powerful
you write about some green lights being
engineered and some being mystical
which I love the difference of that
what's the difference of the engineered
green lights and the mystical such a
cool word mystical yeah well the
engineered ones have reason and the
mystical ones have rhyme
yeah you know Life's a mystery going
forward but it's a science looking back
I prepared I've had ideas written
headlines and had goals and
athlete gets in shape for an event and I
get in shape for a role I read I study I
work I prepare
and I go and I'm prepared and I behave
and I do it
and I look at I go yes
that's what I wanted to do
it's engineered green light
it's it's it's it's
a it's a it's a conscious delayed
gratification
it's that if I do it today
that pragmatic head down
believe there's no Cloud out there but
then I trust that there is one out there
if I do keep my head down to do it I'll
get that to that dream
we can engineer those have it
work ethic prep expertise education
and the mystical ones though
don't make any sense they're not
supposed to make sense they only make
sense after
right when they happen you backlog and
you connect the dots with how they got
there that that that that that red light
you ran into that made you 30 seconds
later to
get to the restaurant
as you walked in she walked out
and he went good morning and she went
good morning
and yeah
too much later you're dating
two years later you're married
you after that you've got a family and
now you're sitting here 40 years later
going
I love you look at what we've built
and you go back and go
what if I wouldn't hit that red light
those 30 seconds you know made all the
difference and so strange that this life
is this way yeah and that's just rhyme I
mean we can't really add that up yeah
it's a science when you look back you
you see you know why it was that
you were
you were upset and
ticked off that you had to pick up the
kids toys before you left and they were
supposed to pick them up and therefore
you were late for the thing that made
you ran into and you and you ran into
the person that was walking in the
office that the guy that you did the
interview that's the guy you were
looking for the job you wanted and you
caught him because you were in the
elevator with him and that 90 seconds on
that elevator what got you that job that
led you let you do what you want to do I
mean
you the significance is there but we
have to I think what we also got to
watch is again in that balance
what do we change because do we've just
changed the engineering we miss magic if
we just chase the mystical
we find ourselves caught up in trying to
give meaning to the Lego set that was on
the floor that the kids didn't pick up
that and what color was it and and why
did I walk out that that door and see
almost up on the Legos but if I'd gone
out the other door I used to go out of I
would have gone there I would have got
there early and wouldn't run into the
the boss and the the so you can start to
give too much
meaning on that as well I think we can
give significance in too many places and
all of a sudden
I think we've all been there where
you're seeing art in every single thing
oh man that can be paralyzing
it's like it's hard to leave a room
if everything's significant you know or
if everything's a sign
how much of success in life do you think
is uh engineered and how much is
Mystical I and how much does it differ
from person to person because I for me
personally maybe I enjoy it maybe I'm
genetically built that way but I exist
more in the mystical so I don't make
plans I travel last summer in Ukraine
with no plan I just went there no plan
I didn't know how I'm going to meet the
president of the country I didn't know
anybody and so
there's no plan there's no clear thing
you're just roaming around and that's
how I've existed in life and it there's
something about giving yourself over to
the flow of nature that I just enjoy it
makes life so much fun
it's
awesome when you can do it did you
engineer though I'm going to put myself
in the place when you got on the plane
to go to the destination that was an
engineered choice
and maybe I'll meet and I'll run into
and I can
work up a sit down with
so the engineering Choice was putting
your shoes on proverbially get you know
I always say this the hardest part about
going to gyms putting your shoes on
right so to getting on the plane that
was an engineered thought with the goal
in mind but I don't know how I'm going
to do it
the choice yeah putting the shoes on
yeah
but there's not a clear it's a fog what
happens after the shoe is gone
yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
it's gonna take that leap so I I wonder
how much uh
for people who are successful in this
world in finding what makes them uh
truly happy and fulfilled how much of it
is engineer how much it is Mystical
how much was it for you well I'll say
this like an hour at winter right
about green lights which is basically
the last 40 years of my life I thought
that 85 90 of my successes were going to
be
obviously engineered
or I could see the signs it's all the
habits here's what I did yep that add up
got the solution got the conclusion
I was
very surprised when I noticed it was
probably less than 50 percent
and that most of the real successes of
my for when I
trusted
the one I trusted
that I didn't have to Define it that I
only trusted that I didn't have to go
what's the measurement
what's the score
what this leads to what what's next
um
and I for me
that that's still there's still a
challenge for me
daily
now is to trust and not be because I can
be I could I think I can be overly
practical
and I think I can over over compensate
and miss out on Magic
because I'm still
going
wait but do you are we given enough am I
are we giving enough the measure and
credit to actuality
are we are am I giving enough credit to
this is this these are the steps to take
and and and and and this is reality
I I think
I'm reminded
when I when I trust because that going
optimistic just to put yourself on the
plane was the engineer for getting there
and as you say you've seen you say you
roll in that mystical it takes a lot of
trust yeah
trust in the inevitable Amen on that to
but not knowing where it actually ends
you it's it's a feeling more than um
uh I don't think it's a Clear Vision
right
it's kind of like a feeling that guides
you towards uh
towards a place with with uh
without a clear name without clear
characteristics it just kind of pulls
you there
where do you get that courage and Trust
to go with your
gut your your feeling
and is there
for instance three days later you sit
down is there if you did if that if that
doesn't happen
is there a sense
a week two weeks later now when you come
back
To America that like ah
I failed
sort of uh looking back to try to
analyze what went right when we're wrong
that kind of thing
uh yeah that engine is always there but
I think what pulls me forward in life
what makes me really grateful and
fulfilled is noticing the thing you
mentioned noticing the magic
and kind of going towards it
sort of just sitting back
um both in tragedy and then Triumph so
in war there's a lot of tragedy but
there's somehow
uh one of the things you see in in war
this is the first war I've experienced
and seen seen the front
is the loss that people lose their homes
and all this kind of stuff
the thing that rises from that is the
love for each other
so they uh the people I've spoken with
don't give a damn about the home don't
give a damn about that on farms and the
animals they lost don't don't give a
damn about
um having to move and all this kind of
stuff as long as the family's still
there as long as the people they love
are still there and it's like
that's there's this Melancholy smile
they have on their face
like yeah this world is full of bullshit
it's full of tragedy
but life is fucking awesome and that and
you just notice that in in little ways
everywhere
you just sit back and yeah notice the
magic and then I want more of that
and just kind of follow along with a
little ant yeah
keep noticing that kind of thing but uh
I don't know I I hope you know what I
what I think it is is other people
notice that you're the kind of person
that notices it uh and they're like I
want to hang out with that person he
seems all right like he seems one of the
uh one of the good ones one of the good
hands do you have uh um
any certain
non-negotiable structure before that
freedom to go with the feeling
I think so there's a set of principles
I'll just uh basically Integrity of
being uh good to other people
like whatever that means for me there's
specific things like I I'm really into
loyalty
Above the Law right there's a kind of
like there's a circle of friends I have
and that means everything
um
there's just a Basics deep kindness
towards others
uh empathy empathy towards people that
other
that others might label as
um
even evil
I have that kind of empathy I believe
all of us have the capacity to do good
and evil
so I just kind of see everybody as
little babies that grow up in different
conditions and
so some do evil some do good
and then yeah there's there's all kinds
of other
uh principles
I love the dynamic between the different
humans and their full diversity I love
the the dynamic between the masculine
the feminine enjoy it the dance of it
yeah yeah
so you you have a constitution with
which you embark
you do too chasing yes I hope so
um
and if yeah for me I'd like to
it's inspiring to hear
someone like yourself go I go and I just
land and I just go I'm gonna feel it
um I can go back and go yeah my greatest
truth is I've crossed my greatest
successes in my life are when
I
trusted that and go I took a one-way
ticket
Amazon Africa
yeah and those were spiritual
and very pragmatic because they led to
dealing with with
succeeding in other in other ways that
are more pragmatic 100 and gave much
more meaning
to those things
but that's that's to be able to
go out and and say that's how you do you
have family I really want to get married
and have kids but I I'm not married and
don't have kids yet okay so actually one
of the nice things about that is you can
take bigger risks
so while I'm not married and don't have
kids I feel I owe it to myself to take
just to go go to the Amazon that is
rather that backpack on and a one-way
ticket yeah yeah because that does get
harder to do yeah
um
I missed that
um
sometimes
the
the whim
a song that comes on you know
yeah where's that guy from yeah oh
they're from the place that I want to go
that I had a dream about I'll go there
when we take it what I got to do I'll
get a couple shots okay go that that
there's that that was that was fun I
gotta do this let's get up and go you're
free yeah and go when are you back when
I
when I get there yeah it's a beautiful
and beautiful thing maybe never yeah
yeah my yeah
guys you'll be coming to visit me in
this new place maybe yeah
how did the Amazon how did the trip
there change you what do you remember of
it such a magical place
I stripped a lot of my past
symbols and talismans
well I was while I was there what I what
I
I remember getting there and and and
just having so much adrenaline on the
anticipation anticipation of getting to
the Amazon
in the first 10 days
I wasn't really enjoying the trip I was
just charging to get to the destination
to get to the banks of the river that I
had a dream about
and then it just
humbled me I got so fatigued
on night whatever 12
and was so sick and tired of the
internal dialogue I was having with
myself
I was not enjoying my company
[Laughter]
that
you know I I I I purged and I remember
and then and then and then stripped off
identity markers that I had sort of been
hanging on to for like everything from
you know what it means to be an American
my Dad's ring M for McConaughey a
meltdown of my mom and dad's class rings
from University of Kentucky were gold
from her teeth and and and and and his
his class ring melted down you know put
taking that off was really hard to go
I'm casting Am I Casting out my father
I wasn't casting them out I was just
removing to say I don't have to rely on
that being all of my identity so to pull
that off to to to strip down and just to
where I was just a mammal
thank you
that next morning I
I was light I got present I remember
writing something down it's like all
that I want is what I can see and what I
can see is
in front of me that sense of not I
wasn't leaning around looking around
every corner to get there and as soon as
that hit me talk about mystical
successes and realities and Truth as
soon as that hit me and for the first
time in 12 days I didn't care about
getting there what was around the corner
guess what was around the next game
corner
the Amazon
I mean not around a few Corners the next
corner there it was
and that was just like a touche
you know those times when
the prime mover the universe God what
we want to name or believe in says ding
there you go and
[Applause]
that
form of Detachment from
holding on
for dear life to things in past
so hard that you're not letting the
beauty that's right in front of you the
the feel correctly and follow our
intuitions
to have those not cast them out I didn't
burn them
I didn't get rid of those things I just
took them off and had to recognize
you're still here you are you you're
much more that is a Talisman that's a
symbol that means something to you and
that's good don't cast out the meaning
but it's not like
when the Rings off and the hat's off and
the crucifix is off your neck that
you're like you're gonna die and I know
those are reminders
hang on to what they mean for you
as we go forward but as we go forward
quit worrying about so much about
you again I was looking at the
proverbial dream the cloud so much that
I was tripping over myself to get there
and like clockwork Just Amazing Grace
boom as soon as it hit me and I was like
ah that's it
all I want is what I can see and all I
can see is in front of me
literally looking down at the ground
at What was a sea of ten thousand Wild
neon blue Amazonian butterflies on the
ground
as soon as they fluttered up my head
came up with them
I took a few more steps
there's Amazon that's what you came over
here for oh howdy those kind of that
that truth like that well the Amazon is
interesting too because it really has no
past or future losing the moment because
of how fast it churns it just eats up
life it like if a thing dies it just
gets swallowed up
because uh maybe because of the humidity
because of all that because there's so
many living creatures that kind of eat
each other live on each other
so it really exists in the moment
and all this kind of diversity of Life
there it's such an interesting place
talk about food chain yeah you're just
part of it there yeah
we we humans somehow escaped that food
chain but we're still the roots are
still there
I think we're a bit arrogant to think
we've escaped
you think I'm being romantic in that in
that in that notion well sometimes when
you're in a big city
when you're in Austin Texas and La you
can think like oh there's we're in a car
we're in the house we're safe but
yeah somehow somehow's nature still a
part of us
Our Roots are still a part of us
I think it is more than we realize more
than we give it credit for I actually
have it I
believe that we
are
but it's a really arrogant notion to
think that
we are separate meaning you know people
talk about
pollution on a larger scale the the
climate what have you
I think Earth's gonna be just fine yeah
we maybe not be here for it but
I think we have a bit of arrogant
sometime to think that we
can Trump Mother Nature I think we have
more more of the natural law in us
um
and I sure hope so if I'm wrong
well there's an interesting I've
recently been uh there's a guy named Max
tegmark at MIT who really worries about
nuclear war and he was part of uh
constructing a simulation of what
happens when a nuclear war happens it's
interesting to see that uh you know some
very large percentage of humans on Earth
uh starve to death
because they don't die first from the
explosion they die from starvation
because uh basically uh dust covers the
entire North America and entirety of
Europe
and so the crops all die all the food
sources all die and people suffocate and
uh starve to death
but you know the lesson you'll learn
from that over a period of a few months
even though most of the human population
of Earth dies
Earth
finds a way life finds a way to do that
he had to adapt and it's gonna be just
fine yeah in terms of the big uh living
ecosystem that is life on Earth
and yeah it's humbling to think about
well maybe we're just the stepping stone
same thing with we've talked offline
about artificial intelligence maybe
humans are just a stepping stone to the
development of these other
super intelligent entities yeah
yeah
and is it
unconsciously in our nature that that's
just
part of the evolution and adaptation
of our species and we'll because we're
gonna
we were talking about earlier what AI
becomes
is completely 100 based on Who We Are
and we get to see it for some time a
mirror to ourselves okay this is what
human civilization is like these uh
AI systems large language models are
trained on human communication and you
get to ask it questions you get to have
conversations with it you get to realize
wow this is what
the uh the collective intelligence of
the human species our Collective wisdom
and knowledge is what it looks like
all the bias the hate
um
the paradoxes all that is in there yeah
um
the contradictions
you can even convince those models you
can you can tell them they're lying and
they're going to start changing their
mind it's interesting to play with them
um it's also interesting to consider
that maybe they uh
they become smarter than us and
uh become almost life forms that live
among us and maybe one day
kind of we merge with them there's all
kinds of possible
trajectories that we take here how much
did that excite you how much of it
scares you
is it possible to exist in a place where
it is both exciting and scary but to
exist in that dance
mostly I'm really excited
because
I see human beings as deeply lonely like
there's a deep loneliness at all this is
how we seek connection
that's why we see Connection in others
that's why love is so beautiful when we
find other people we're connected with
and I just think AI can add to that you
can add
friends that you can have
great conversations with
and then some of those friends would be
AI systems
they'll call you out and you're bullshit
in the most fascinating and interesting
of ways
and challenge you and help you uh
explore ideas together so I'm excited by
that
is that different and if so how from
the internet and Facebooks and these
groups and communities that
were I think it's fair to say set out to
say this all access of information and
people will help us find more common
denominators than
divisive ones
um is is it do you see it similar yeah
it's similar but further into that
direction I think the internet has done
an amazing thing in connecting us and
expanding our minds and helping us find
community
that feels like our community and then
the communities that are totally
different you can learn from them I mean
Wikipedia alone one of my favorite
websites
just oh opens your mind to all kinds of
cool stuff yeah it does
and not doing the awesome system anymore
no and so uh I think AI just open makes
that even easier because Wikipedia have
to like read and have to do a lot of
work
uh with an AI system like a large
language model you can just shoot the
shit it's more like drinking a beer
versus like uh doing homework yeah yeah
yeah yeah
it's already happening what do you think
about that becoming the new family to
where
you know you said you know marriage you
don't have kids could you see a future
for yourself whether you have a
relationship with AI and that is your
family and that's the main that's the
primary like even romantic relationship
yeah
I can see it that one worries me
I like to keep it at friends right
I think I'm not ready to commit to the
moment
um it's I wonder how much that now that
takes us back to the Amazon in nature
how much we still need the human touch
yeah and whatever magic there is between
two humans which takes the leap into the
romantic
versus just the intimacy of a good
friendship I don't know
so
correct if I'm wrong you you Cai is
having a deep and meaningful friendship
yes
and hopefully it will be a friend that
will help you
evolve and be able to love even more and
be loved and you can take that into
humanity and find another Homo Sapien
yes to go
yes
and thank you AI my great friend for
opening me up to this beauty that I have
myself I can see in you
my fellow
human and let's come together and
biologically create family if we want to
and let's all remain friends with my
friend and make your own friends with my
friend's friends on AI and let's have
these great neighbor it's a good friend
that great friend that's a neighbor okay
mentor and friend just like uh now
there's AI systems that play chess far
far far better than humans and we humans
still play chess with each other
or did they chess is still a game that's
fun for us humans right and then we use
the AI systems to get better at just to
learn to train
to discover new ideas but ultimately
return to the chess board between two
humans
uh but of course this world is full of
dangerous people and so those same AI
systems can be used to um
to harm to create false narratives to do
social engineering and manipulate the
masses in terms of what they believe and
all that kind of stuff that's scary yeah
well and I I get it when we and I have
my own fear and distrust is
of AI is based on my own fear and
distrust of myself and others
there's something it's so very simple
but I think it's it's a really fun
sort of
way to just set up this reality and
everyone it's kind of a duh but still
needs to be said that
AI is a prompt is there it doesn't do
anything unless we ask it
so
what questions
yeah are we gonna ask is a question is
what we need to ask ourselves because
we're going to be looking in the mirror
at our
digital God that we create
from ourselves and just to know that
that's that place where it's awesome and
scary exciting and scary we go oh it's
it's our creation
which is awesome at the same time oh
shit
but it's it's prompted by our questions
and gives us patterns from that which we
give it
um
but that prompting
that's uh that's the art of life like we
prompt each other in conversation our
loved ones when you when you
when you go about your day-to-day the
next words you say the next word you say
to me the question I ask
of you that's prompting yeah and it
could change everything I could say so
many things right now that will
completely just the the the the the set
of possibilities
where both of our Lives can take given
on the selection of words I use and you
use
it is crazy so it makes conversation fun
yay and then same thing with AI
except the nice thing about AI is it's
tireless
tireless right let me ask you this if
you can falsely condemn me right now and
I prove you falsely condemn me
I can forgive you
and we can March forward stronger than
before yes
in ai's tirelessness
and retention
can forgive I mean Can Can it can it go
oh oh okay
yep sorry about that one that was wrong
can it amend yes
yeah you could prompt it to ask for
forgiveness it'll forgive you like when
I toggled around with it
and you ask what should I be afraid of
you or is there what's the Dooms toward
the
answer was always well it's up to you
she was awesome right there you go again
it's up to us and it brought up
you know make me synonymous with your
human values and ethics and
responsibilities but it doesn't deal
that I didn't find anyway deal with
defining or making choices on its own of
what those are
yeah I think uh some of that is manually
uh those are constraints put on by it by
the creators of those large language
models
basically
not letting the systems have an identity
of Their Own
and some of it is just not engineered in
yet but I believe that we'll have
systems that have an identity have a
belief have a set of opinions like that
carry through time
and will we go to them like certain
states where we agree with the law and
disagree with the law on Nations and
I'm a member
of this
AI oh well you're from this AI tribe you
all believe this
yeah there will be an anarchist set of
AIS they'll be the Communists there will
be the uh the Nazis there will be the
Democrats and the Republicans there will
be the people who are on the keto diet
and the people that are on this other
kind of diet this other kind of
lifestyle that just like we have now
there's little groups and there'll be AI
systems they're going to be supercharged
yeah they'll they'll be either the
leaders or the foundation on which we
build those groups and they'll be it'll
be
uh the possibility of all the fun we can
have
is endless of course the danger is
always rise up there because I mentioned
the Nazis I mentioned the all the
dangerous ideas this is the the set of
ideas that humans have come up with a
lot of them are awesome most of them are
awesome I would say but some of them are
dangerous
the reason they're dangerous is because
they become viral there's something
exciting in us about those ideas but
they also harm others a lot
because that's who we are as humans
we're uh we're capable of envy and all
the dark stuff of hate and all this
capable yes
we also
choose it
do you think most people are good
yes
but I also
believe we've got we got the good and
evil in all of us and it's which point
which which wolf we've eaten
you ask people to draw distinction to
describe
where are you acting and where are you
being
uh what's the difference what's uh
what's the difference between being fake
if I may use that word and being real
okay yeah the word authentic gets thrown
around a lot and you know I I and
I don't mean
I used to think they used to be feel
this way but but Bob Dylan loosened me
up on this idea a little bit new thing
was all about get to be your only one
and only true self
that's it everything else is
fake
and then you hear Bob go well I mean we
are what we create ourselves be we are
our own Creations which I'm like oh yes
yes we are thank you Bob
Bobby
what
I'm all for
bullshitters and bullshitting
I'm not as big a fan of
the liars
and lying what's the distinction you
talking about the art form of liars
Liars fake a Liars faking it but not
admitting to themselves that yeah oh
yeah it's fucking creation I'm faking it
yeah
a liar I'm lying to your face right now
and I don't give you that hair of a wink
out of my ride I let you know hey go
with me here yeah
I think the value in the bullshitting
yeah
now the lying becomes Troublesome
because one I've duped you and I didn't
let you know come on I was just telling
the story about catching the fish the
fish always gets bigger every year we
tell a story come on go away all right
yeah
but the lying all of a sudden
I don't know my own I don't know when
I'm emanating something and creating
something telling the truth being
authentic or lying and I'm
shit all of a sudden I'm leaving crumbs
with myself a debt Constitution gets
blurry
lying to yourself and to others yeah
when you start to lie a lot of others
enough you start to lie to yourself you
don't even know it
and that I believe is dangerous
territory
that's why I'm trying to push this admit
because that goes I'm not I'm I'm trying
to come in at a kindergarten level
because we immediately jump to
well I'm gonna judge that boom that's
bad that's wrong no no no no
hold back on that let's let's go back to
base level let's just admit
that we all fucking do it
Lies We Tell others Lies We Tell
ourselves Lies We Believe for
convenience sake I do it I'm guilty of
it I try to catch myself on it if I can
just call it and go you know you're
believing that layout of convenience I'm
like I know and I even have to
do you feel that I'm saying that in the
mirror or writing it down or sharing
with a friend you know and I go okay
well now I've inherently become a
bullshitter then because I admitted it
that I can shake hands with
that's the little slight wink to ourself
and someone else to go come on we're
just it's a better story This Way in the
course road trip
you start with step one
admit
how do you do that how do you how do you
kind of step back and
through that inventory yeah
is there a trick to that
oh there's a trick to it I think it's
just about courage
of having them
because it's
I don't think any of us like to admit
our lives or look deep enough in the go
I've relied so much on that lie that
it's become my reality
yeah and I'm and I and I I don't want to
be
so puritanical
as I say again that's why I say admit
instead of Judge but I don't want to be
so puritanical as to go and admit it and
get rid of it no I'm just saying to
admit it just bring it to the surface
yeah I'm
saying this and I'm
doing something different
preached this but I actually my actions
just admit it
just just admit though just admit them
and
I think that's the first step to where
we
begin to
either forgive ourselves and give
ourselves some amnesty and go yeah I'm a
human trying to make it through life as
best I can I'm gonna let myself slide on
that one okay and maybe I've been
getting away with it for so long whole
family my whole network works well on it
okay forget this get to the base of the
truth of the matter but just admit it
and then where will and then it will
also help it'll be easier to then expose
to ourselves which ones we go
no
I'm not letting myself slide on them
anymore that is actually a lie I've been
believing that's been keeping me from
getting more of what I want in life
that's actually a lie I've been living
that I haven't admitted that
is not allowing me to enjoy life as much
as
I damn well should be
deserve to be or have earned to be or
just sort of let myself
shoot man I had on on it it's not all
the hard stuff sometimes it can be a a a
a fun thing I'm talking about how many
times do we major in our minors let's
admit where we sit there and we go
all right I give myself a 12-hour work
day but I notice I'm spending eight on
my hobbies and four on my career
well I'm majoring in my minors
huh let me admit that there's the math
why don't we invert that how about four
hours on my hobbies and eight on my
career
first off just admitting it allows me to
go well now I can do the math or
rearrange the math by time of day
but I I look I just found a hobby tennis
first topic I've had in 25 years
I had to admit that I that I went to
play tennis started to love it for the
first month
as I feel guilty
I was like I'm happy is it okay to have
this much fun I'm just having so much
fun and I'm getting a great workout
yes it's okay
congratulations but he found something
that is you're finding quite
pleasurable
for straight pleasure
you don't have to forget all this other
stuff but yeah but I'm also getting a
workout we're getting that too but don't
just you don't have to get excuse the
pleasure based on oh but it's it's good
for you no you damn it the real reason
you love is because you're having so
much damn fun at it I had to admit that
to let myself go damn right I'm going to
play tennis again today or tomorrow if
it's a simple fun thing
so it's not always about the hardcore
stuff that we have to go
this is a deep dark lie that I've been
living by and it's having me live Foster
and it's having harmful consequences on
my loved ones
some of those will probably arise when
we admit
I think he's just having a look around
and it's just saying
and when we admit it
then we go when we admit a lie
then we become something much more
valuable
a bullshitter
yeah you had the little wink in your eye
I love the distinction I'm bullshitting
myself on that thing yep I'm lying
therefore if I call it a line yep well
now yep I'm bullshitting eat now she's
out didn't judge it
but now I'm bullshit that I think we can
work with well you're an interesting
case study because you're one of the
most famous one of the most uh
charismatic successful
humans in the world there's a lot
millions of people love you hang on
every one of your words
that's a hard place to be
how do you call yourself how do you
admit
that you've been living a lie how do you
admit yourself in big ways and small
ways on lies at this point
given how many people love you how
famous you are
10 years ago I don't know
I I don't know someone was talking about
like
yeah they really admire this so-and-so
person because they're not someone who
looks in the mirror
and I was like yeah
also I was like
man I gotta catch myself looking in the
mirror a lot
and then I go in and I you know look at
my my wife's side of her bathroom
how many different creams and stuff she
has out there look at my side I got a
lot more on my side I'm like oh
I noticed how if I'm out and public
working out maybe doing push-ups maybe I
do a few more if
there's a group of people walking by
that maybe I'd like to impress that I
may do a few more than I do if I was on
my own I'm like
you are vain McConaughey
yeah and the knee jerk is oh vanity bad
but and also I was like
all of a sudden I became a bullshitter
once I admitted and then I was like well
Bravo vanity yeah let's go vanity
let's instead of putting it in the
cupboard
in the LIE section oh minimum vein
because I said that's a debit no
admit it
and then go what's the value in it look
at yeah it actually got in better shape
because of my vanity actually I eat
better
the better in that morning you know I've
and that led to being a better
better husband better dad
doing something with my kids when I'd
rather be over there writing this work
I'm working on but I know that
tomorrow
early when they leave town they're gonna
remember this time that we had together
that's a selfish act to go spend that
time with my kids or my even though I'd
rather not be doing it at that time I'd
rather I'd be doing something for myself
because when they leave tomorrow they've
got they'll have this great memory that
they spent with their dad right before
they went that that
I could call that vanity
I could group that
and say that's very vain of you that was
for self
yeah
because it
was also for some and someone that I
cared about other people in your life
that
uh call you on your bullshit in the uh
bad sense of the word bullshit yeah yeah
sometimes it's either I got a pretty
thick threshold for how far I can go
with my bullshit
like what
bruise what tickles me might bruise
others to watch it
that's a good line
yeah
um tickles me my bruise others but I
also I go back and
talk about the bullshit
that's over there with those mystical
successes
it's the yeah no no go with it
don't pull a parachute yet let's see how
far we can go let's see how hot it can
get let's try it one more time yes two
more please
that's where a lot of great pleasure and
stories and successes will come from
those are mystical they don't add up
it's like we're not talking about reason
right now we're not talking logic just
go with this let's talk about the
virtual
and making it real the old line of fake
it till you make it I mean what is that
there's something to that
there's definitely something to it
but I would you know where people go
fake it as I would go back to Dillinger
and create it yeah recreate it create
and recreate it
you know until you till it becomes
till you make it
um so I'll have people call my bullshit
and a lot of times you're right
I think
when I handled the most healthy way is I
admit yes
and
I'm aware
so I'm and I'm going to keep going
so you're not like resisting you're
denying it oh I will I will and I have
to watch that where I'm like
no I'm not that's not what I'm doing and
and usually when it's coming from people
there they're going no you are it took I
won't admit it and then that's where I'm
telling a lie
and that'll come up get me later and
I'll go
I didn't see it I didn't see I was doing
that
I was
either unaware I wouldn't let myself be
aware I was denying that I was doing
that
would you say that's ego has ego been
bad or good for you oh gosh I think it's
been think I'm so thankful for
ego
um
dude does it
get off the Bridle for me sometimes and
run loose and run places and where
it's
not of service to others and as it hurt
loved ones and even strangers yes
um
but I I also
when my ego is really strong
it's
it's in sync
with serving it's in sync with
where I serve myself
also serve as others serves others it's
those two are part and parcel they're
they're they're they're intertwined
and that's the capital E ego
that I think I think could hope we all
need more of and that's what I mean when
I talk about selfish that's to really
redefine that was the real true meaning
of that is not doing something for self
at expense of your neighbor or harming
others it's
for personal profit and pleasure that
also is profit and pleasure for
a utilitarian sends more
of others
and there's a there's again back to the
Paradox today I think there's a place I
know there's a place I believe there's a
place where those are in sync and when
my ego's healthy
um
I'm able to
say I'm sorry sooner for a lie or a
misdemeanor or harm somebody I'm able to
be more empathetic
because I got the confidence yeah
to be so I'm able to be more humble
but still have my chin high and my heart
high and look in the eye and go
yep my bad bogey guilty
I shank that one out of bounds man
that's beautiful so ego can be
constructive not destructive
you want an Oscar for your performance
in Dallas Buyers Club
can you tell the story of becoming that
character Ron Woodruff
what was the toughest part
toughest part
which was the most enlightening part
was getting to know who he was in
between the lines we're based on a life
story in an hour and a half of film
and script is great
but who was he in between
the lines who was he before
he started a business before he was on a
crusade
before you went to alternative medicines
and
you know the the the the obvious thing
people always talk about well how did
you lose all that weight that was not
hard that was just to
militaristic decision
this is what I can eat each day and if I
do this
each day for a week I'll lose 2.5 pounds
in a week so I'm gonna give myself five
months to do that 2.5
times as 10 years ago there's 47 pounds
that was like clockwork so that was easy
that decision was made
I didn't go to Pizza Hut buffet and have
Temptation in front of me had certain
meals I ate that when the weight just
went off like clockwork
it was the who is
Ron would have been between the lines
and what the gift I got given that gave
me the insight to who that man was
this I went to see his family
and his uh
before I was as I was leaving
his family offered me his diary
and I remember it kind of has it going
wow yes but I kind of hesitated because
it felt
maybe a little too intimate of a thing
for
me to have I felt like it was kind of
maybe infringing a bit but I
opened my hand and took it and what I
got in the diary was I've got to know
who Ron was
before he had HIV
and little thing the diary he'd write in
and in the the the the dreamer he was
and the getting all set on a Sunday
night and laying his shirt out and
ironing it for the next morning making
sure there's a little pager had fresh
batteries in it because tomorrow morning
he was going across town to hook up some
speakers
for 38 bucks or whatever
and then getting up that morning and
writing about what kind of coffee he
drank and how much gas it was going to
take to get over across town to do that
job and hook up those beakers and then
on the way over
Paige coming in to say no we don't need
you we've gone with somebody else to
hook them up
and here he was all buttoned up two cups
of coffee in
hair slicked over
shirt ironed
[Music]
a little less than half a tank of gas
but enough to get back home
Now where's this Monday go
The Hope and the disappointment you have
to take all that in that's part of that
man I'm gonna I'm just gonna go to Sonic
and get
double cheese bacon burger because
Sheila over there man she's kind of cute
she always gives me half price on it
yeah
which leads to
rolling the joint
hanging off till Sheila gets off to work
sneaking over the local motel and
shagging up in room 16. that's my lucky
number 16. she laughed
yeah
been wandering out that night
getting home one in the morning
no plans for Tuesday
and maybe later in the week think about
what am I gonna do about work or job and
these little dreams would get me Peak
and want to and then something would
happen where he wouldn't follow through
or the deal would go down the deal would
go south
that no one who that that there's in
there was where I saw who
he was a dreamer
and then and and and he just couldn't
catch the break and didn't follow
through and then I remembered his family
said like oh yeah he he invented he got
patents on a whole bunch of things but
he never would he had things to get
patent but never would follow through to
get the government patent and then later
on you'd see the product
be made or sold on QVC or something
they'd be like Ron that was yours
or they stole your idea did you patent
that he'd be like no
like never would that there's something
beautiful and sad about that yeah that
led me inside who he was
in his heart and um who he wanted to be
and when he was hoping to be and trying
to be but couldn't quite
pull off when you go that deep this
there's a part of him stay in you
forever
are you able to let go I I mean I hope
so I get I look there's a tenacity
to to to survive that I got
from him look hopefully I can try and
find some of that in different ways
in any character that I go play because
that's if you
if you really want to give a character
an obstacle to overcome a need
I mean the base one is life and death
whether that's
the need to survive or the need to Stave
off Extinction
I'm not talking about what the rules the
laws are the social mores the manners
and Graces I'm fighting you're going to
fight for your own life in a world
that's not supporting you to do so
you there's a wonderful courage of
fuck it
watch this
what do I got to lose
my life
or I'm in charge
of extending it get out of the way
and I'll pick your pocket along whatever
it takes
so there's a tenacity to live by
whatever means necessary to survive that
I that I that I'm reminded
of
that I learned from raw so on that line
of survival between life and death you
starred in uh True Detective which I
think
um
explores some
darker aspects of human nature
what did you take from that
from that role that experience
philosophically psychologically
the freedom of of being on an island
he was such a singular
character and of a singular mind
and as you know it wasn't a dance party
up there in his mind it was it was some
some heavy stuff
but also
existentially
for him always like
death would be a Deliverance for him
it'd also be a cop-out in a way it'd
also be
he was not not a man who was going to
give himself amnesty
and didn't allow it
from the rest of the world it wouldn't
give himself an out
and while living
in his head and heart and spirit was
more of a hell than
arguably dying
it was not no alternative that's not
negotiable for that man
and that's why he was such a that's why
he was the best detective that ever
walk the earth that's why he was such a
superhero in a way to have that singular
you don't go oh I wish I was him no but
you're like wow that Constitution that
Clarity of identity
talk about a measure in a man's
Constitution he didn't allow
anybody off the hook especially himself
you wanted him to forgive a little bit
or give himself a little Amity he wanted
him to like man it's Saturday bro can
you go on a date
he wanted him to like enjoy something
but
he was
connected to something in his DNA who's
who he was doing something much
more Baseline truth
and that's why he was such a good
detective so that but there's an island
as much as that company can be I said
earlier on that Amazon chip but it
wouldn't join the company
there's Parts I think that I maybe gave
to myself
to rusting coal and also that rusting
curl has given back to me that I like
yeah when you're when you want to pull
the parachute because you can't stand
the company that you're in McConaughey
in your own mind the socratic dialogue
is driving you freaking crazy
don't pull a parachute stick with it go
through it so you were able to walk
around with that tormented mind
of his tormented
I did I I didn't have very much patience
for mendacious talk
I didn't have as much patience for small
talk
I wasn't tormented
but the character was and you have to
embody him
so is that I mean does some of that
bleed over are you able to uh
separate the man you are from the
character
it's not
look am I able to separate yeah I came
home to my kids
and when they walk in the door and greet
me and go what'd you do today
and you got three kids under 10 years
old
you don't
tell them about the scene where you help
someone commit suicide it's just you
know so you you turn it into a parable
it actually I've always said this having
kids have made me a better actor and a
better Storyteller because I have to
parabolize certain things you know
um and tell it in ways as I go oh neat
you know
um
so
I did did I go did I bring it home I
didn't bring torment did I bring
introspection into my own this
character's for me and I think this is
true for a lot of
actors and actresses
we don't it's not a separation
if I've got I
we each have everyone
else in US
it's just seeing
diving into rust and gold knowing where
his mind and heart is from the hand of
Nick pizzolato who wrote the character
and wrote the whole series
understanding number one what the hell
am I saying what's he talking about then
going deeper into that well if that this
person really believes that what does
that say about how they
move then I'm going all of a sudden well
who was that in me what part of my left
brain
is locked into that what part of my
Reptilian Brain is
latched on to that wherever this other
stuff is non-negotiable
then I just live in that and it's I
always taught like a 70s equalizer
remember the old that morons equalizers
you can you move up your 500 hkz move up
your 60 you you just re you re
Ria uh rebalanced equalizer and we all
have so it's just going to those parts
of me where I'll turn up the volume
some parts of the base the treble on The
Equalizer and turn down other parts of
myself and I'll I'm not coming home
tormented
as rust and Cole
am I coming home
seeing
torment where it should be seen
am I reading the news differently or
things coming out of the news and
catching my eye
as being
bullshit or lies or truth that is just
hard and going yep yeah I'm seeing it
through a different lens but I'm seeing
my own life through a different lens
a lens that was opened up
and an aperture that was opened up
through rust and Cole I mean the the the
process of being an actor an actress I
guess is a really interesting way
to be a philosopher of human nature
yeah I mean it's an incredible really in
it dive into the humanities yeah
and all the ologies yeah and philosophy
and as I said I
going to going to
as I opened up the question like that
the vague the being on an island is a
vacation
I am also conscious
for five months when I'm playing rusting
coal that
this this is an interesting fact I've
I've never I was as strong spiritually
with my relationship with God
when I did True Detective as I've ever
been
why is that
okay which you would say wait a minute
in some ways that's a those are antonyms
they do worry no but but my I I
pretty sure pretty safely can say that
my
own strength of spirit in my own
personal life Matthew's life there gave
me the confidence to go further away
deeper into the torture and deeper into
the
but it was still he was still always
going after truth that was the thing he
was not he was not not an evil man I
don't even know if you can call him a
non-believer but he was always going
after the truth and the truth burned and
he would take the scar and get burned
for it
he'd die for it that something was
actually from
biblical about that you know and and so
but I've been I I don't think it's
coincidence that I was had so much
of diving into the depths of that uh
tortured
character
because I trusted that
when I go out I'll come up the other
side it's always like jumping in a pool
of water
and can you trust you'll come up the
other side and not
you know you go play a criminal you you
trust you're not gonna come out the
other side of tyrant in real life
you just go ah God I got to go
do that came out and I'm still alive got
all my faculties I'm not in jail
whatever it is
and so my own spirituality that time
yeah definitely I think gave me a
certain trust and confidence to go
further into
the dark
it was announced that you'll be starring
in a Yellowstone spin-off show
what do you think about the uh Cowboy
ethos the permeates Yellowstone and
other shows created by Taylor Sheridan
you're a Texan I'm a Texan yeah what do
you think about that like philosophy and
way of life
all right
I admire the Simplicity of it
I mean one bit one way you could explain
Yellowstone and a
costume's roles what will
um
what will man do to protect land and
family
in a world that's trying to encroach
in a world where
there's a Cabo ethos that deems
trespassing more clear
earlier yeah but then then other
other hats
um
I admire that simplicity
of right and wrong
and that the the Simplicity of that
right and wrong doesn't always uh
correlate coincide with the law nope
it's above the law
it's you mentioned something earlier I
remember where it was in conversation
but a little bit of like okay if the law
I ain't handling this I am yeah
and then it is
um
the Law's not going to handle this
therefore I am
and then it is I'm handling this
law
talk to them when you get to them I'm
handling this
there's a honesty to that it just seems
of course it's dangerous because uh it's
a slippery slope uh that because of the
power in that power corrupts it can be a
slippery slope or you completely
disregard the law and you can hurt a lot
of people
but when done right you know
there feels to be a
something really uh authentic and human
about that protect family protect land
Above All Else
look I you know
this is a broader question but I'm going
to piggyback it off this
back to the dreams and reality and then
evolved species and how what can we do
in creating a digital God and Ai and
these communities and friends that
challenge us and think like us we like
to hang out with our
do you think we're less evolved
species than we give ourselves credit
for do you think we give ourselves
credit for being more involved
than we actually are
I think we do I do
I think we need to admit that
I think probably the cowboy ethos is a
is a stepping towards admitting that
and that's why it's so appealing to
people
it kind of wakes them up to realize that
we are uh we're not so far
from our ancestors
that uh the values of loyalty are really
important
um
Trust on the basic human level
how do you know if you can trust someone
I don't know if I can trust someone
well
I don't know a trick to it I do not know
a trick to it but I do come in
as I believe you do with high Trust
I come in with a um I'm told
sometimes I think I'm I'm told that I
trust too much sometimes have you been
hurt have you been betrayed
um and if you have has that like hurt
your willingness to trust
no it hurt and I put that person and
those people in another category back
here and do my best not to let them know
that it bothered me at all but I know
when I'm with those people but a new
person you're still alive no I'm not
going to do that I think that's that's
the beginning of cynicism which I think
is a horrible disease of getting older
I'm not going to do that you're fighting
cynicism off as much as you can okay no
way no way no way I mean there's no
there's no there's no residual in it
yeah there's no wind yeah yeah um it's
easy it's clever gets the laugh at the
party
but uh and and if it sleeps well
it shouldn't be
don't get comfortable in the cynicism I
I have to ask you about being a Texan
you're like when I think Texas I think
man Matthew McConaughey uh what's it
mean to be a Texan to you
I recently moved to Austin Texas
some uh two years in all right all right
welcome what's it mean to be a tax
educators
Texas is about independence
politically Texas is not about
Republican or Democrat it's about
independence
independence of spirit sovereignty
uh
Texas
is about exploration one of the things I
love about Texas is I run into so many
Texans around the world
Texans are taught to go
b-tech conservative learn your learn
learn who we are then go
go explore Pioneer Journey
and hopefully you come on back
with some goods and some stories are you
texting
and underneath that is this kind of
freedom of
being an individual in the in the full
meaning of that word yeah well Texas is
liberal on your entrance
very liberal on your entrance
less regulation hey welcome High trust
High trust sir Welcome to our state come
on in yes yes yes
but
if you like cheats deal yeah
we're conservative on our consequences
ah damn that's a good line
um you've uh briefly pondered running
for governor I don't know if that's in
your future I hope it is uh you had a
few good lines about it
do you think about that kind of stuff
about what the future holds in terms of
uh political office I don't think about
it in terms of political office I've
I've graduated to a broader larger
thought of what's my future hold and and
where
and
would I be most useful as a
leader I think that's a fair word
whether that's
thought whether that's
leader of my family right now it's a
parent his father
um
the leader of
people that work with me
um
politics is it's
I'm not going to say it's it's because
it's not it's not small and I'm not I
don't I don't that's that's why I say
that out loud it's not small I do think
it needs to re-engineer and re-define
what its purpose is before because it's
just chasing its own tail right now with
the with the with the with the two
parties uh that are seem to me to be
completely about just invalidation of
the opposition instead of vision of
themselves
um
so I think it needs redefinition of what
it is because it is important that's
what I mean that's why I said I don't
mean small it's it's it needs to think
bigger about what it is and how it's
useful when it seeks to invalidate it's
small when it seeks vision
it can be big yes well one's affirmative
one's going into that cynicism we were
talking about yeah you know and
validation of
any opposing thought or maybe that we're
even opposing opposition is a is a is a
is an is an arrogant term that's too
strong it's a lot of times it's not even
opposition alternative other than
another way of thinking about it oh
could both be true oh how can we parlay
those two ideas
um
you know this the the the one of the
challenges with
these ideas of a third party or
Mitch in the middle
it's kind of got this historic notion of
being oh well
it's sort of Mr in between kind of go
which way the wind blows
I think done in the right way it's the
and it doesn't have to be under a third
party's name necessarily but it's
actually an incredibly rebellious
position right now and it's actually
and I love sports
it's tactically
the place with which
to move most advantageously I think of
the free safety in the game of football
they're in the middle of the field and
they're deep they choose to defend left
or right
according to the play that's been called
by the offense
similar to the offense the running back
you read the divas and then you're going
to run right to run left to go away from
that opposition it's it's a tactical
spot to be truly independent
and respond
so do you think you have a role in that
in political officers I don't know I it
don't it's on mine it's not out of my
mental mental box
um and I gave it real sincere thought
and discernment for over a year
and it's a wonderful whether whether I
end up whether I end up in politics or
not it was a wonderful exercise one that
if anyone else got time to do it do it
to ask yourself what you would do if you
were a CEO yeah of the state CEO the
nation CEO
or the world that's a great thing to go
you want to get your values line you
want to admit where you lie and throw
yourself some pop quizzes and what if
this phone call comes at 4am
what you gonna you know who you wanna
surround yourself with it's really great
questions to ask and I think has helped
me
at a more micro level be a better father
a better man taking considerations that
I did not maybe take in as seriously
before considering it
um I don't know if that's in my future I
got you know useful is a big word it's
got to be I would have to be useful
I have to be useful in the right way and
is that my Lane to be most useful
it's a good question for a leader to ask
how can it be useful
I have to ask you
about Interstellar
so I think it's an incredible film I've
seen it Inspire so many scientists and
Engineers it's just uh philosopher
everybody humans it explores space
travel physics of space time
human nature Human Condition human
connection
um how is that film expanded your
understanding of
uh the the universe and our place in it
yeah
well
it's the uh
it's got the old Mr Mayor on the corner
how big is that cloud
metaphor in it because that was
the character I played Cooper's that was
the existential question for him
head down practical stay here be a
father to my children
but his dream
before his children or to go explore
space so when he's taking that
truck out and the countdown's going down
that's the the hinge of the existential
question that we all face in some form
um
the
the the the sense of time I wish I think
everyone loves that sense of where time
can run at different speeds and I
there's a incredible scene where
Cooper is a father's getting video feed
from his children who
aged and he's realizing he's missed all
that
[Laughter]
that it it
you know I mean overall that that
concept makes me
consider and imagine
I'm gonna talk about mystical successes
instead of engineered ones like the
engineered ones that there's there's
eat those from that film and and what
Nolan put into that film and theories
that make me go
yeah what does it do this matter what do
we
maybe we are maybe we're it makes me go
maybe this is all it's already all been
it's already all been written what's
happening right now in this flip of time
you're here 53 years so far we'll see
how many we get
um
what other parallel timelines are
happening out there do is it is it
small-minded of us to Define
life on other planets as only something
that can live within a climate that has
water in this amount of o2 those terms
may be
um too too small thing what do you mean
who are we saying only life has to have
water in this amount of
oxygen and carbon dioxide I don't know
maybe that's maybe there's a whole
redefinition of the ingredients that
other life forms need
um
it's sure in a similar way to contact
this is a movie I did with Bob zimekus
um
yeah
inspires me that the universe is more
active and Lively in God's backyard's
bigger than I thought and wow that's
exciting
and you know people go now you believe
in extra life I said yes man I think
it'd be arrogant not to I sure hope so
you think there's alien civilizations
all out there intelligent ones just far
in far on the distant Stars I
I hope so and I think we it's possible
may have many
Among Us right here
one and I go for the the why not in that
just to keep that that train of thought
open to the to learn and and and and and
consider
you know those existential questions I
think be arrogant not to there's so many
hundreds of billions of planets just in
our galaxy just in ours I can't imagine
there's not life out there
and um
but I suspect it's very different like
you said than we are and we have to have
a humility to open our eyes to how
different life could be
and if and when we cross it
unlike we've had a tendency to do when
we try to go with some
Nation takeovers
um
I think
it would be R inherent
glitch
to go in
believing that any other life-form
civilization wants to take over
territories to go into it with thinking
that okay this is an opposition
I mean I I think that's a human trait of
ours
and to consider that another life
form would have an interest
that more land or more territory
is good for them I think I think it's a
shallow idea I don't think they're I
think of it more like you know when I
think of Heaven those considerations are
not
in in anyone's mind heart or
intent in the heaven that I think of you
know so in other civilization these
things I don't I mean I
I hope that if we would just see and
learn that would be the natural side of
welcoming it wouldn't be a primate
response to no I have fire and you're
coming over trying to put it out or I
have food and you're trying to steal my
food I don't know how to I don't think
it would be
I think it's a shallow thought to think
that oh it's going to be about ownership
and we would be trespassing I think it
would be I don't think they're
would have a sense of borders as we do I
just hope we humans are smart enough to
detect and to see aliens
because because of how different they
are you know we don't we often have a
very narrow definition of what is
intelligence you know it's very possible
that trees are extremely intelligent if
we kind of zoom out at a different time
scale or different like just look at
stuff in a from a bigger perspective
that that's outside of being so
human-centric it's great
quote that someone told me this
astrophysicist told me this
how accurate is or not someone else can
argue the validity of what I'm about to
say or not but I thought it really was a
prospective grabber for me like look see
the universe was created at midnight
humans came around at 11 59 and 36
seconds
I love little now these are that put
that frame like they make oh yeah the
pale blue dot there it is that
perspective something so relaxing and
empowering about that
at the same time and humbling
but confidence boosting yeah you know
allows forgiveness allows ambition
um I just love the perspective of that
that picture to picture it that way in
our timeline
do you hope humans become a multiplayer
species
as we're trying to do as a SpaceX is
pushing forward
trialing out to Mars potentially
colonizing Mars colonizing other planets
yeah
I'm you yeah go explore I love the
ambition
of it I love the uh um
pioneering nature I love the extension
of what we consider as our backyard
becoming more four-dimensional
like that
not at the expense of
we still got stuff to take care of we've
got Gardens to tend right here
and sure as hell not to go not to quit
on us to go oh let's get out of here
because this isn't really working
no no no no no no no
we got a tithe we're still supposed to
pay here we don't that's part of this
pressure testing us as a civilization of
the species
whether you call that restoration order
or whether you call that
let's figure out how to adapt best we
can uh
no not at the expense of quitting
here on Earth but we'll let a few a few
select folks explore yeah because that's
like uh I said go for it please one of
the coolest things that we humans do is
kind of embodies the human Spirit reach
out into the unknown
but it's hard
I mean as Interstellar shows and so on
it's uh yeah as well Elon talks about it
it's not going to be a
weekend Daisy trip
and he's just speculating how hard it
could be much harder in different ways
that he doesn't understand yet you know
yeah
well that you know that dance between
the impossible and the inevitable that's
definitely there
with uh what SpaceX is doing with all
the folks
who are trying to become a multiplayer
species are doing it's really hard
it's like
build rockets that fight off gravity
at a cost-effective way
is really hard SpaceX is close to being
bankrupt several times it's just hard
but it's also inspiring to that some
people are just crazy enough bold enough
to keep trying yeah
what advice would you give to Young
Folks
what advice would I give in high school
and college that are um thinking of how
to make a their way in this world
if you haven't already can you
can you define what you have an innate
ability for
and match that with what you're willing
to hustle to get
sometimes
foreign
we have an innate ability but we don't
want to work for it we take it for
granted
and we end up doing something that may
work I pay the bills make it a spy day
to day
but we don't really like it we have
trouble finding a way to enjoy it
definitely don't love it
and then sometimes
we don't know what our innate ability is
and we're hustling and working our tail
off and breaking a sweat to do something
that we really aren't that
good at
on an n a level
and that's a good challenge
and you can
work and become good at something
that you don't have an innate ability
for but
if you can match those two what do you
have an innate ability because we have
an innate ability to do when we do that
well we do kind of enjoy it yeah and one
of the things that requires is to kind
of be really honest with yourself
at what your innate ability is because
oftentimes there's a lot of noise when
you're growing up people telling you
what you're good at not good at like
really you have to look at yourself
listen to yourself that inner
like a deep rigorous self-analysis of
what am I actually good at not what I
hope to be good at but what I'm actually
good at right
and then if you look at that and you can
define those two
hopefully
there's you can you can activate it in a
way where there's a demand for what you
supply
you fall in love with Camila Elvis
McConaughey uh what advice would you
give to people on how to do just that
how to find love
[Laughter]
that's a wonderful subject's been
discussed since the beginning of time
hadn't it love it
um
so I can tell you what things I've kind
of learned and I'm still learning
you know
loves one of those mystical successes
it doesn't make sense
it
foreign
you know when I was when I was
before I met Camilla I had
I was coming onto my
late 30s as much as I'm not a person
that is Guided by timelines I was
my life had not really added up to what
I thought it was gonna be relationship
wise I thought about that time I would
have met the woman I loved married and
started family and that hadn't happened
and I did find myself
doing that thing I was doing at the
Amazon looking around the corner
any
perspective possible female I met that I
was attracted to I was like maybe it's
the one
I make the joke but it's true because I
get every red light I'm like checking
out who's next me in the produce section
at the supermarket on My Chosen produce
section you know it's like looking yeah
when you're in that zone
you can also be a little intrusive you
can trespass on people's you can get
outside of yourself you can be overly
impressed and not as involved and have
your own Constitution and sit back and
therefore
if you're outside of yourself you're
less attractive
to your possible mate
I've got a series of
dreams that I've written about but I had
one then that was very spiritual that
was me as a radio your 88 year old
Bachelor who never got married and it
was a beautiful dream
we're on paper
I thought that should be a nightmare it
wasn't what that dream did for him he
was allowed me to go
you may not
find the woman
for you
and get married
not a life with her that may not be
and for the first time in life I was
okay with that hmm
not more than intellectually spiritually
I was grounded I was like
okay
then I'm moving through the world and on
this particular night as myself not
intruding I was inviting I did see her
move across the room and did not say
who is that I said what is that
and then did
move to collar across the room so I did
invite but I was not outside of myself
and I was able to be myself
with her what my eyes saw
everything that she turned out to be
when
the lens got zoomed in more details got
known and we began to talk and got more
intimate and closer together and spend
more time became true and then some
but not every single thing that I
imagined when I saw her move across the
room turned out to be true and then so
in the just the image
um
we
found a had a moral similar moral bottom
line about life each other how we treat
ourselves what we respect what our own
constitutions were we had similar
uh
perspectives on raising children which
is very important
to me and her
and then we just in Jody says company
yeah and we laughed together and we
support each other we promoted more of
each other and we lit each other's fire
and we if one was rolling we kept
addition you go go again take the next
shot more more more
this was a biggie too
getting excited for each other's success
yes
to be able
I think it's very important
we all have jealousy
I get it but it's very important to be
able if you can
be happy for your lover when they
succeed
or are succeeding or are across the room
of the party Laughing With The Stranger
to be happy for them when it has nothing
to do with you
she was I would be away she would the
questions and the talks we would have
she was happy for me about how excited I
was about my day and my date had nothing
to do with her yeah she wasn't there and
I found myself not telling myself to be
happy for her but being really really
happy for her when she would tell me
about something that happened that day
with her and as much as I went through
my head oh I'd have been great if I
would have been there I was like not
only trespass on that that you had that
yeah independent of me
Bravo
that that's a choice you make not to not
to give any time to the jealousy to the
very natural jealousy that we humans
have
it sure doesn't happening I don't see
the residuals in it
true I've got it I've had it and I have
it I just don't
you know I haven't seen where it has any
Payback
I gotta ask you the biggest possible
question
uh what's the meaning of this whole
thing oh what's the meaning of life
right
Matthew McConaughey
why
why are we here
I don't know why
we're here I prescribe to
in a religious sense the restoration
order
they're here to restore
order and religious sense I really I
purchased that and loved that incentive
and love that
that view
but I don't really know why we're here
but I do know
to go back to the front we are here
that part's inevitable
so now let's flip the script and go to
the why not
just keep living what what are we doing
the base of everything Eric and we can
argue it off at the base of it
I can get all I can come up with is
what just keep living man I mean what
else are we supposed to do when we don't
have any idea what to do
whom we know exactly what we want to do
make it matter
even when it doesn't matter that matters
not
for what I don't know for the fun of it
that matters
yeah our ability to create meaning and
Beauty in the mundane in the Absurd it's
kind of cool yeah yeah
and then we share with each other yeah
or get excited yeah and we create some
pretty cool stuff along the way
I mean I
I say I'm confident enough that I might
be arrogant of me to say but I I I I do
believe
that we're here to each generation have
a small Ascension yeah
or else
what's it for and we're not really sure
what the Ascension is towards just kind
of
no it's just I think good job I do
things to stop I do think
that
it is
definitely arrogant to think
that
we as a species or generation or people
or Humanity are going to reach the top
of the ascended staircase and go tada
I think that's a I think that is not
only false but I think it's full-hearted
and I think it's his recipe for being
having more angst and and even cynicism
we talked about and unrest and lack of
seeing Beauty and joy in this life while
we're in it
um I think
Life's a verb
live it as best we can hopefully I mean
I don't know sometimes I'm just I don't
have a grand plan man I'm just trying to
connect the damn Dot
I'm confused frustrated I don't know
what I don't feel any gravity or
building or lineage towards what I'm
doing and I'm just like going
what's that Peterson line if we don't
believe in heaven do it you do what you
can to get as far away from hell as
possible sometimes
it's a great line sometimes I'm just
trying to like man just don't don't sink
the ship right now just keep your head
above water
maintain just try and hold on
and uh hopefully give yourself a chance
to notice the magic the mystical
I try to do that yeah when it gets rough
because it's there I do believe it's all
around us all the time yeah yeah just
are we on our frequency and do we allow
ourselves to receive it and see it we
gotta tune the radio yeah
because we look for it too hard we
see false idols and if we don't look at
all we come callous and miss it all yeah
it's a fun little life we got yeah
Matthew uh
I'm a huge fan I think you're an
incredible person
um thank you for all the everything
you've created in this world thank you
for being a unique
human that inspires millions and thank
you for talking today I was nervous but
you made me feel at home that's
beautiful
well if I felt at home talking with you
as well thanks for sharing that with me
just two Texans that's right
Austin Texas here we go all right thank
you brother thank you
thanks for listening to this
conversation with Matthew McConaughey to
support this podcast please check out
our sponsors in the description and now
let me leave you with some words from
Matthew McConaughey himself
don't walk into a place like you want to
buy it
walk in like you own it
thank you for listening I hope to see
you next time