Kind: captions
Language: en
if you and I were able to go into Skyrim
right and walk around and live together
would we make love no no no man don't go
there okay no no no because we like
girls man
the following is a conversation with
Bobby Lee a stand-up comedian and
podcaster and one of the funniest humans
on the planet and just someone who
brings joy to my heart with a mix of
non-sequitur absurdity Darkness
and the singing voice of an Angel
in all seriousness Bobby's just a
beautiful human being I've been a fan of
his for 20 years since this time on Mad
TV to today with this podcast tigerbelly
that he does with his other half the
love of his life kalala and the podcast
bad friends that he does with Andrew
centino
this is the Lux Friedman podcast to
support it please check out our sponsors
in the description and now dear friends
here's Bobby Lee
I've been a fan of yours for many many
years I think you're one of the funniest
people in the world
I've been a fan since Matt TV days 20
years ago today with uh with tigerbelly
so given that given your status is a
world-class comedian
how did it feel that you were not
invited to Andrew Schultz's wedding and
I was
well you were there yeah I was there
that was the least funny person there
yeah and the whole time I was thinking
isn't that funny that Bobby Lee's not
here yeah um
all my life I always felt like people
didn't like me and didn't want to invite
me to things you know I mean I think
that's fundamentally
the reason why I do what I do so it
really did hurt a lot
and I had resentments I did some Revenge
fantasies about how I'm gonna get
revenge on him and stuff yeah and him
specifically him specifically okay like
have a big wedding invite everyone you
know accept him stuff like that yeah and
then just write him a letter like see
that's how it feels or whatever but
instead of that I'm because I've been
therapy and stuff I'm just kind of like
trying to let it go what'd you do there
this right here why'd you do that I
forgot to start the timer and now it
starts over yes let's do this
let's do it again take two no uh you
still feel like an outsider your
exceptionally success for me domain you
still feel yeah you know I'm doing a
Netflix show tonight with Andrew Santino
at The Comedy Store and this and that
but like last night you know I just felt
like I wasn't a part of in fact on stage
I go I even mentioned and I go Netflix
they don't like me you know what I mean
and I just say things like that
um they're not true and this is
something that I want to correct with
myself because I have this internal
dialogue that's based
on just the past and 99 of the things
that go on in my mind aren't true and
I'm just at a point in my life where I'm
just don't want to start I want to start
I don't want to live like that anymore
really because I'm the same way I'm
deeply self-critical all the time yeah
and um that's kind of an engine that
drives you to to do stuff yeah but it
doesn't give you the kind of Freedom
that I would like don't you want to be
truly free free from your mind
free from negative thoughts
no I I'm free part of the day on some of
the day I spent being extremely
self-critical and that drives you
because I'm afraid I'll become Ultra
lazy otherwise because I love life I
love being comfortable I love just
relaxing I need very few things in life
and so I'm afraid I'll just get like
super lazy oh
are you a minimalist yeah so if I went
to your house in Austin do you have a
couch
I recently got this is the first college
I've gotten ever because the guests were
complaining because I also record uh the
podcast there the guests are complaining
there's nowhere to sit I have no chairs
no couch I sleep on the floor like a
mattress is on the floor
um not out of principle I think out of
some kind of uh minimalist momentum
minimalism so we're the opposite in that
way then oh so you like stuff
I'm not a hoarder but because I can
throw things away but I have a shopping
addiction I think
like when I'm on the road like I was in
Oklahoma for two weeks I just I bought a
bunch of stuff you know what I mean and
then
oh my God I went to Todd Snyder and I
bought um how about these shoes
you know
because you know but you're wearing them
so they're they're actually you're using
them and they're giving value to your
life that's awesome yeah but this is the
last time I'm gonna wear these unless
this is one time this is like a wedding
yeah yeah it's a Red Carpet Dress who's
the designer do you know I don't know
anything what are you wearing Bobby I
don't know what I'm wearing but I
because I'm on a native show called
reservation dogs right I just want to
get into the spirit of things that's
your yeah this is because if I was ever
like native and I was in a tribe back in
the day you know what I mean I would
have been a gatherer
no I'm I'm gonna weave baskets with the
ladies yeah I want to pick berries with
the ladies you wouldn't be the chieftain
no no and I would make after the hunt I
would probably make some so some of the
guys make love to me
oh
yeah because I'm kidding up just because
you know yeah yeah yeah there's a power
heart and you got to know your place in
the hierarchy yeah your alpha male then
I don't even know what that means Joe
Rogan Joe Rogan is the definition of
Alpha and to me yeah if I if there was a
picture of alpha male in the dictionary
yeah yeah
yeah
so you hoard stuff okay yeah yeah but
you can throw it when was the last time
let me call you out on that when's the
last time you threw away something
that's actually valuable
valuable like something valuable to you
or valuable in general most things that
I buy aren't valuable to me there are
things that are valuable to me that are
like keep stay sakes from my family and
stuff that I will keep forever so I like
in terms of like an old photo of my
father or whatnot so those kind of
things I keep but um when it comes to
like you know Aviator Nation sweats like
if some of like somebody came over to my
house and goes hey can I have six of
those sweatshirts or whatever I'd be
like yeah go take it okay my brother's
come over to my house and she's done a
clearance you know I mean like I'm gonna
take this this is I generally
really don't have a problem with this is
a self-critical voice is serving no
purpose in terms of because you're
pretty you know I've I'm a fan of yours
so you're known to be a little bit lazy
sometimes 100 lazy yeah yeah so the
self-critical voice don't you think that
it's
serving a purpose and fighting off the
laziness beating off the laziness
the self-critical voice that I have I've
been able to come up compartment not how
do you say compartment yeah however you
say
you're free yeah yeah put it in a
compartment yeah right and um I'm able
to like
um I'm a good avoider I'm good at
avoidance so for instance right now
um to avoid I I've been playing stardew
Valley you know what that is no it's a
phone game or no it's a um you can play
it on your switch but it's on the Xbox
and it's a farming simulation game and
so I like to farm you know what I mean
and so in playing video games and doing
stuff like that distracts me from you
know what really is going on okay you've
mentioned elsewhere in terms of video
games Elder Scrolls yeah did you play
that yeah of course it's probably my
favorite game if I could live in a world
you played Morrowind and Skyrim I played
Oblivion Oblivion I played a little bit
of Morrowind but I didn't like the
graphics back then but I really played
the can I swear on this podcast yeah I
played the out of um Oblivion and
Skyrim like
eight characters played it all the way
through I have to do all the quests that
type of thing what's your favorite thing
about those games
um why did you spend so much time in
that world because I I like games that
you can grind
what do you mean by Grind so like
stardew Valley for instance right
there's a lot of back to the pharmacy
right okay it's the same thing as Skyrim
the reason why I like it is that there's
a lot of like I have to collect a lot of
these things you know I mean I have to
just constantly pick things up you know
what I mean yeah like for instance in
Skyrim there's a mushroom called blister
wart mushroom that you can pick and then
you can make it into at some sort of
formula right yeah potion yeah that
potion yep so I would spend like
literally human 12 hour days just going
to every cave and picking up as much
blister wart as I could like that kind
of grinding
you know what I mean yeah yeah so you're
actually the randomly generated quests
that these kids do yeah for people like
you yeah you don't get bored that's the
that's the fun yeah that's the fun for
me okay yeah there's always something to
do and I find like when when you play a
game that's linear like there's certain
games where you have to go this way
right I don't like games like that yeah
I like open world games where I can make
choices and I can grind if I want yeah
yeah would you stay in that world if you
could live in that world in the in the
Elder Scrolls world that's how I feel
in reality or become like a animated
thing in there oh no say like virtual
reality we're moving towards that
direction oh yeah if you look at Skyrim
you mentioned Graphics it's become
it's starting to get realistic yeah like
I I I'll sometimes just walk around I
mean it's been a while but I'll just
walk around in Skyrim yeah you can uh
there's code you can turn off enemies
and you just walk around really you can
just listen to music and just walk
around that's what you did yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah I would do that wouldn't
you do that would you do it with me you
sure we would have a house together oh I
mean live I thought walk around no no no
if you and I were able to go into Skyrim
right and walk around and live together
would we make love no no no no man don't
go there okay no no no because we like
girls man yeah that's right it's not gay
well you told me it's not gay yeah it's
not yeah yeah all right so you and I
would yeah I would hunt you would gather
but in that world there's no hunting you
know but there is hunting I would do
have the because we don't just find the
bandits we have to fight I'm not gonna
gather or abandon I'm gonna we'll hunt
them but I think it's all about the
potion you don't need the bandits okay
well we could do this we could you could
be be the guy that like defends our
place yeah right I'll gather all the um
blister award all the White Caps all the
mushrooms I'll get all the food I mean
I'll go to White Run remember white run
right or Winterhold and I'll do all the
like crusts that have nothing to do with
you know what I mean so no dragons
though no no dragons but we would have a
banquet we'd invite the dark dark
brotherhood yeah right the Fighters
Guild we definitely invite them Mages
guilds we'd invite them are you a thief
kind of guy I'm a thief guy yeah I'm a
bit I'm For Life yeah you've got for
life and you still wouldn't invite
Andrew Schultz to that no no no but what
a piece of though huh because let
me just say something okay I just want
to get back to that okay okay sure so I
met him at the Montreal Comedy Festival
and him and I our Kindred uh Souls we we
really connected yeah
and he did my podcast he's done it
several times I've done his we've we've
like communicated on the phone this and
that and to me and then he invites
Whitney Cummings which Whitney is a good
friend of mine but what I'm saying is is
that I know Andrew as well as Whitney
knows him I don't think that Whitney
knows them more than I do right what if
it was a competition like it was a tie
you know and like NBA like a Bobby Lee
versus Whitney yeah why in what way do
you think she's better in what way do
you think you're better
I think it's all about gender Optics
okay right so it's a comedian he has all
these alpha males coming and he's like
all right I can I have one more seat
left yeah Whitney or Bobby but Bobby is
although I don't think there's a lot of
Koreans there so he could have used that
card this is true right but I think he
went for you know Whitney's a woman it's
better for Optics okay so she was a
diversity higher for the wedding yeah I
see it was it was pretty fun it was
pretty I have to say I don't
is Joe Rogan yeah I know his wife I get
it yeah and then uh Whitney oh those are
the only comedians that were there
I spent the whole time talking to Jose I
I think no I don't think there was that
many comedians some I'm kind of joking
about it was a pretty pretty small
wedding yeah what do you talk to Joe
about first of all we're both Grapplers
so we talk a lot about Jiu Jitsu we talk
a lot about I'm a Grappler are you I was
on the wrestling team in high school
yeah I know I know this is
I don't know Jiu Jitsu is there only one
kind of grappling that you like yeah
there's levels to this game I think oh I
just talked out no no there's nothing
more yeah there's no that's a surprising
fact that you've dropped that it almost
feels like a lie because you've said
that before that you were a wrestler and
yeah in high school it doesn't make
sense well it's funny that you say that
because
and I'm going to call this a little
controversy here yeah right but Joe
Rogan yes one time came when he lived in
La this is years ago and he said you're
a liar yeah you've never grappled yep
and I go yes I did you're a liar
no you didn't and at that time I didn't
have any photos to prove it but if you
look at my Instagram I have photos
of you as a Young Man dressed in a
singlet or what on the wrestling team if
you go to the sorry if you go to
my I'm sorry if you go to my
high school yep you're right I was on
the wrestling team for three years I'm
not gonna go to your high school so is
there actual photo evidence of you yeah
you know what you're you're being like
Rogan right now and I you know it really
is how do we know it's not photoshopped
oh you can you oh you be the judge then
dude okay so this is my brother and me
in high school on the wrestling team
which oh you were uh I'm the bottom
that's my brother to the left I mean
yeah to your right oh handsome yeah I'm
not that's awesome yeah
uh how much do you weigh wow at the time
I weighed um I was on the 105 weight
category yeah yeah
um but so I was also on the tennis team
what people don't realize is that I'm
very athletic okay yeah yeah and I
resent the fact that people that think
that I'm not because I'm doughy you're
an athlete so uh which is very
surprising to me why that uh so I was
invited to the wedding yeah yeah I've
also been on Joe Rogan's podcast he's a
big fan of yours I know I I love Joe no
Joe when Jose and I see to the wee hagas
now we talked I just talked to him today
said I'm talking to you this is
hilarious why oh you hug him you just
never it just hasn't worked out like I
don't like I don't want to go like
hey um
if because I don't want the rejection so
it's like if I go right hey
can I do it and he goes I I don't know
man I'm busy man you know we got I got a
lot I mean maybe later you know I don't
want that so if you know if
if he said hey are you available
Thursday this day fly out do my podcast
I would 100 do it and that hasn't
happened yet
so interesting what why is it
interesting I don't know because you're
you're like I said you're one of the
funniest people in the world that'd be a
great conversation it's just funny it
hasn't happened yet well it's like this
conversation it's like I just learned
how to tell time yeah
he showed up on time today no digital I
know how to write digital obviously but
in terms of the hand clock yeah I just
learned that six months ago uh how to
operate a hand clock to read a can clock
hand clock yeah okay not that I I
obviously I'll be able to absorb the
information I just re I'm one of those
guys that just refuse to learn things if
I just
what did you think it was before
I would look at it and I would try to
sometimes like if I was at a train
station yeah
and I would look at those old clogs yeah
I would look at it and try to guess and
I'd kind of go I think this is the way
you know what I mean but like not fully
you know I mean really aggressive the
way ancient people looked up at the sun
to try to tell time you looked at had a
clock to try to tell time right like for
instance like we don't look at the sun
right so it to me it was an obsolete
information to me
you already had digital yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah and so that's somehow
comparable to you going on The Joe Rogan
can you because it's like I don't know
much about
podcasting no podcasting I can but in
terms of like the singularity and all
that stuff like I I know what it is you
know I mean when machines can be have
Consciousness when is that gonna happen
soon are you afraid of robots see if you
were in Austin I would show you some
robots oh I'd love to are you afraid of
robot no I love it you love robots oh
yeah yeah in fact I have this
I think to me unless they become hostile
and it becomes like the Terminator which
I think could happen right there'd be a
Skynet we have to bring it down whatever
but there's definitely going to be a
autonomous weapon system so a lot of the
robotics research is being conducted
funded by the military
wow you know the military industrial
complex I know what that is yes yeah so
the the a lot of The Cutting Edge
research is done
is funded by
DOD Department of Defense DARPA and so
on so a lot of the robots will be used
in war but hopefully not most of
consumer robotics will be in the home
I'm just trying to terrify you no no but
can I ask you this though sure what
you're saying to me
is is that as a layperson is that in my
lifetime
that
machines will have consciousness
or that I don't know computers I'm one
of the people well depending gear you
live dangerously so I don't know how
long you're going to live so let's let's
put uh but I believe that Consciousness
yes could be engineered in a machine
uh or at least we can have machines that
are human-like and we believe they have
consciousness
could I ask you one last question about
it yes okay
but we'll take one more well they have
the smoothness of skin and will they
look realistic
you see I'm one of those people that
believes that visual appearance isn't
the magic so if you close your if you're
blind you can still have a connection
with a person
um people can fall in love with each
other through just letters so yeah I
know you're mocking me with your entire
energy but yes
um yes I believe that part too you're
talking about sex bots is what your
problem is getting it okay intimacy just
friends friends but you wanted you want
to feel the smoothness yeah like a guy
like you know just go what's up dude
yeah just around just hug and yeah like
on both cheeks kind of thing I get what
you're saying though right obviously
there's no soul you're right but you
know what I mean and I'm just curious to
see you're right I was going with sex
spots but yeah have you seen Whitney uh
Cummings is robot yeah I've seen it okay
yeah how did that make you feel you know
she's a beautiful girl I just don't find
her attractive the robot or Whitney I
find the robot way more attractive yeah
if I had the choice robot so you were
turned on by the robot see I was
surprised
by the very thing you're saying which is
the realism of the skit like it was
quite they did a really good job on that
robot oh they did the the life when when
it's animated the life is not quite
there if you can tell it's a robot but
just sitting there still it has a lot of
human-like elements the texture I don't
know yeah yeah it's quite fast they're
getting there they're getting there yeah
yeah but the funny thing about sex
robots is most people that get sex
robots they don't get it for the sex
they get it for like intimacy
like um not sexual intimacy but like
just somebody being there it's the
emotional connection not the sexual yeah
I mean I you know I I saw a long time
ago a um a documentary about real dolls
and people marrying them yeah yeah and
what I was fascinated about is the
cuddling you know what I mean and then
watching TV together and stuff like that
which I find you know I've just been
able to
find human girlfriends and stuff so it's
really impressive that's one of the
reasons thanks man yeah thanks hey
speaking of human girlfriends
um I'd love your advice in this
direction but you're you have an amazing
relationship with uh kalila yeah uh so
you two are very different so you host
the tiger Bella podcast together but
there's there's real love there there's
a there's a real connection what do you
um what do you love most about kalila
let's talk about love Bobby Lee yeah
yeah I mean that's a really pretty deep
I've never really gone down this path
um we're gonna walk down that path
together holding hands it's one of those
things where the first time I met her
it was almost as if I had known her all
my life it was really weird you know I
mean there was a
a trust there you know I mean that was
just fundamentally there that I could
trust her and that I could you know
when I look in the mirror and I see all
my Character defects and stuff though a
lot of those things aren't necessarily
things I want to share with people
because I don't want to be judged or
ridiculed but with her I felt
comfortable showing those things and I
think she feels the same way about her
and then secondly she's funny
I mean she made me laugh and and she's
hot it's all you know I mean the perfect
it was like a perfect combination of
things you know I mean she one night we
were in bed and I forgot what the joke
was but she really made me laugh one
night it was she was living in an
apartment in Long Beach and I cackled
you know what I mean and generally women
don't make I mean not women I'm dating
Comics do
um don't make me cackle in that way and
then um thirdly she has
um
she's partly Asian
so it's like you know at one time I
dated a white girl yeah and I invited
her to Korea Town you're about to be
racist a little bit okay yeah yeah
and what I love about Asian girls is
they'll eat something first and ask what
it is after but white girls ask what it
is before what is this right but Clio
was like would eat the eyeball eat
everything go what did I just eat I like
that you know what I mean so it's like
and it reminds me of my mom in that way
in terms of like my mom growing up just
scare us and freak us out we'd have a
fish and she would eat the eyeball first
to see a squirm and as a kid that you
thought was gross and weird and this and
that but it's like
you know when kalila does it it just
kind of like I don't know it just makes
it makes me feel like at home yeah in a
weird way I don't know it's a it's a
little Act of fearlessness I like that
yeah just put in your mouth and figure
it out yeah that's what I like
and at the end of the day she also out
of all my girlfriends and I this is
gonna sound
not strange but um hard to admit but
my career when I met kalila was in the
box
I could not get anything going and um
this is at the time where
Ken Jeong who's a very good friend of
mine very talented was getting
everything and I just remember going I
can't even get an audition like I can't
I would go on the road Lex and I would
fill half the room
I just couldn't sell tickets and when I
met her I was just kind of like maybe
this is the I had to find love and open
up my world in that way
and she was the first girlfriend that
ever had that looked at me and saw the
potential and she said no this is not it
doesn't feel right you're so funny and
you're so relevant to me and this is
what we're gonna do and so she started
tigerbelly
you know and then
um obviously I had a skill set to do it
um but once tigerbelly happened and then
Andrew was like let's do bad friends and
then
now things are great you know my career
is
I'm too busy almost in a weird way you
know and I feel like she had a lot to do
with like for instance before I met her
even if I would get an audition I
wouldn't go because I just wouldn't get
it in my head I was like I'm not gonna
get this I've gone on a thousand of
these and they just never hire me but
she was so I just didn't go on on them
for years and then she was the first
girlfriend that said no
I don't care if you don't get it right I
just want you to be a and I want
you to walk through fear and so she
would drag me to these things
and I for some reason would book them
you know what I mean so
you know in that we saw the potential of
what you could be but she loved you for
who you are already yes but also loved
you for the potential that you could
become yeah and I'm lucky in that way
you know so on day one you could show
her you said you could show her your
flaws to her like you felt like you
could be Fragile with her well I
accidentally farted yeah or day one on
day one yeah you know because I just had
I'm a fart machine yeah and I have loose
cheeks yeah I like how you work for the
listeners he just winked at me yeah I
have loose cheeks and um but not in a
gay way not in a Gateway no and I um I
was wearing a couch and we're talking
and I kind of adjusted my body I ripped
one by accident
as she laughed you know I mean it wasn't
embarrassing you know and um
let's have a little penis I have a
little penis and it's all relative yes
it's for little but relative to an
elephant everybody's penis is yeah but
I'm not an elephant I'm a human you know
what I mean so relatively human is it's
very small okay and so when she saw it
you know I mean I thought she was gonna
balk at it yeah right and she looked at
it as if it was like an orphan
like how you're like I wanna you know
it's a lost child and I wanna you know
you know take care of it yeah yeah
cradle it it'll cradle yeah
well you man you you haven't met anybody
like that uh never met a girl never seen
one of them I hear they're nice
winner what are the two of you getting
married
we don't know yet yeah is that something
you would like yeah
um this comes up sometimes you know
we're in couples counseling we're
dealing we're working on some issues
that we have sure every relationship
even my friendships have issues
and so we're working through some issues
and once we get to the end of it we'll
figure it out would you like to be a
father one day
foreign
you know yeah I do
I do because I I feel like
um
you know before I was very childlike you
know I play a lot of video games I'm
irresponsible I'm lazy this and that
right but you know to be honest with you
Lex in the last six months I've really
have come through some breakthroughs
and um I'm in therapy and I'm doing a
lot of things and really self-analyzing
myself and my behaviors and what I want
my desires and I think ultimately yes I
really do because it's a life experience
that um
you know I don't want to be an old man
looking back and going it's something
that I've always was interested in and I
think it's based on fear because I don't
want to
um scar my child the way my parents
scarred me
but at the same time my parents didn't
do the work on themselves like I am
and they were never about
self-improvement they were just about
they were immigrants you know and they
wanted to put food on the table and um
after that they just went about their
business and I'm not like that I would
never be violent toward my kids like my
parents were
my dad was very physically abusive you
know there was a lot of trauma and stuff
and so um you know as a kid I thought
you know I just would never put my kid
through this so that's why I never
wanted it but I would completely do it
differently you know
um even yelling and and those kind of
things I would be very mindful about
those things and I think that I have
certain things you know I'm not a
sciencey guy like you but there are life
things that I've learned over the years
that I could teach a child you know
about living in the moment or walking
through fear or you know
things that you know things will pass
and just different things you know that
I could I would be a good listener and
um yeah I would like to do that
so your um your dad died in um
August of 2019. wow
yeah you did your research
uh yeah it's on your Wikipedia
so you said some of it was rough but
what's your fondest memory of your dad
what do those memories happened later in
life
um as a child my fondest memory was
my mom because he never spent time with
us so um my mom made him
take me out one day
and he took me to a park like he doesn't
there's no baseball glove or baseball or
anything like that and we sat on a park
bench
right
and we just sat there for hours we
didn't talk because he didn't know
English that well I didn't know Korean
so it's just very you know basic you
know information being you know I mean
oh you
I'm okay you know good good good
that type of thing yeah for a long time
for a long time and then but the day
turned bad because I forgot my jacket
there and he yelled at me
like there's a bit of a piece together
at that time yeah there was peace but
then what happened was
later in life when I got mad tv
and I was doing you know in my early
years you know I poked a couple of
things like in 2000 I did The Tonight
Show on Leno and then I did um I got mad
tv in 2000 and
um wow that was over 20 years ago and um
that's when they my parents kind of went
huh you know because obviously you know
there's some nepotism in Hollywood right
but in my case my parents were straight
up immigrants I had no connections to
Hollywood and I came up here poor you
know with no connections and I built it
you know I mean Through The Years you
know and in in that way I'm very proud
of myself because I went through a lot
of hell and sadness and
Desperation and all that stuff and I
persevered and I did all that on my
own man I I booked the Tonight Show on
my own I got mad tv on my own and when I
did those things my parents were very
proud
but before that did they doubt you oh
yeah
you you're not you're not funny
you you you never make me laugh yeah
right and that kind of stuff yeah you're
never gonna make it you know I mean
you're gonna be poor all your life you
know that kind of stuff but Mad TV he
was proud your dad well you know every
because it was a weekly show so on
Saturday nights they would watch it and
I would yeah and and I would I would
play characters that they would
understand like I did Kim Jong-il at the
time yeah right so they loved that right
they loved you know the things that I
would do the physical comedy yeah and
they couldn't believe in their mind you
know I mean imagine your parents from
Korea
coming here you know not knowing the
language having a child here right and
in their minds that was never like an
option right and so when they see their
kid I guess on TV especially there was
no internet too at the time the internet
had just started so to them they were
like this is a miracle in fact when I
did The Tonight Show my dad called me
the next day and asked me
um she literally asked me this he goes
how much did you pay them to do it
he thought that I'd saved all my money
like like he thought that like Tom
Cruise goes up there and goes here's the
Quran thanks for having me on like you
don't mean no I go no they asked me like
so all the conceptually they were just
shocked by it so when I got it and then
they were watching me weekly
Mad TV The Producers like hey have your
dad on
so my dad did
two or three sketches
on television so at that so those
memories I also did a pilot for Comedy
Central and he was on my pilot
uh pilot for like a show yeah show I
didn't get picked up but he was on the
pilot he was in the show yeah he was in
the pilot he was on Mad TV too on
television interesting yeah oh wow okay
yeah yeah so it's like he he would get
residual checks yeah you know what I
mean you know let's change everything
those uh nepotism in Reverse yeah yeah
just have been reversed and so he
in those memories are very I have very
fond memories because he had changed as
well he was no longer that violent kind
of guy he had softened a lot you know
what I mean but um when he died
is when those issues came up you know
like a freight train the bad stuff oh
yeah
and I didn't know what was going on I
was it was really hard
you miss him
how often you think about him every day
obviously a lot of it's regrets you know
what I mean
like what kind of regrets not having
said something or
um on not having had a conversation
it's not regrets because because even if
he was still alive they're just things
that are impossibilities because of his
culture
and the way he was raised but my regret
in life will always be
um having those types of even because I
tried I was with my mom
um a couple of months ago and
um
I I looked at her I had tears in my eyes
were at a Starbucks I go Mom I just want
to let you know that I'm so sorry
that you lived in that house and my dad
you know and dad hit you and you
survived you stayed in the marriage
because of us right
and you know what a response was
let's go to Buca di Beppo she wanted
Italian food
like it was
it's like there was no there was nothing
there right and so my regret is is that
you know that they
just wouldn't they'll never be able to
even grasp the concept of that kind of
communication you know what I mean and
I'll never have it
um so that's sad to me you know but
there's nothing I can do about it yeah
that callus that comes with an immigrant
mentality you don't even that emotional
connection is not even there I've had um
my grandmother yeah she there's
something called holiday more which is
uh starvation Ukraine in the 1930s that
you had to live through she lived
through World War II and there's nothing
um like the only way you survive that is
the callus you bring yeah you can't talk
with people that fought in in major Wars
they can't
they can't yeah can't talk about it my
mom when she was 12 years old she walked
her little sister my Aunt to school
right she forgot a book so my mom goes
to my little sister my Aunt stay here
I'm gonna greet my book she ran up she
came back while she was gone a military
truck ran over
my aunt and my mom discovered her body
split in half in Trails the whole thing
and my mom and my uncles had to go and
get rice bags to pick up her you know I
mean and then bury her my aunt you know
when you live through something like
that and also the guilt because my mom
believes deep down that if she didn't
forget that book that her might Aunt
would still be alive right so she
carries all this guilt and this and to
survive all that trauma you have to
build a callus back then they didn't
have EMDR and therapists and
psychologists and any of that right so
they had to survive so that's who she is
and it's sad to me that you know I mean
that it'll forever she'll forever live
in that torment
[Laughter]
um boy what about your own what's uh
what's been the darkest place you ever
gone in your mind did you wrote that
down in my mind in your mind do you ever
consider suicide
I didn't write that okay have you
considered it
in the distance yeah I've distantly
thought about it um you know
about four months ago I was in a really
bad place
I was naked in a hotel room
in Arizona I hadn't eaten
in like almost a week I hadn't slept in
over a week I haven't you know and I
thought I was dying I I was coughing up
blood and
um I was waiting to go into a outpatient
psychologist place you know I mean in
Arizona I literally thought I was dying
so recently I was in a very dark place
how much was that connected to losing
your father how much was that connected
to uh rehab and that kind of stuff
alcohol drugs all the same thing dude
it's all the same thing man it's it's
um it's all from my childhood right the
reason why I do stand up is because of
my childhood the hating yourself or like
being self-critical that has to do with
your childhood yeah so the drugs and
drinking is childhood childhood it's all
about survival and protecting your heart
you know and there are way there are
ways that I did that as a kid like um
using
humor as a defense mechanism
um and also avoidance of all emotions
you know what I mean because I just want
to feel and I'm a the reason why comedy
is so good
the reason why I was able to survive in
comedy is because
I can withstand a lot of and
pain
you know I mean like physic like
physical emotional spiritual pain
I'm I can absorb it right but now what's
happened you know later in life is I'm
unwilling to do that
I'm unwilling to absorb it I'm willing
to carry this weight around with me
and um it'll kill me so I am doing
everything I can to free myself of all
this baggage okay so how
you're naked in Arizona in a hotel room
face down or face up or on the side or
what's your favorite uh when you go to a
dark place
no the floor on the bed or so what
happened
shower a fetal position okay I don't lay
on my stomach that's weird like like I'm
not doing like a downward dog or yoga
position or anything like that no I'm
like I'm on the bed on the floor yo what
happened was
so I had to relapse so I was doing
drinking all night long what was the
first relapse what is the thing the
first thing you did just drank what wine
you know I took an edible
yeah and that opened the door to
drinking yeah and the combination is not
good for me
um and I do the excess of the amount
isn't that good for me I just can't stop
and I do it 24 hours a day are you alone
well no I was living with kalila no I
mean at that moment when you do the
Edibles I was alone no I took a flight
because I was shooting
Magnum I'm on a show called Magnum PI so
I was flying to Hawaii so I bought
Edibles and then on right before I was
gonna get on the plane I looked at my
girlfriend and said I'm gonna relapse
I know so I got on the plane I took it
and then literally the last the next
three months were like a blur
why'd you know well what what gave you
the sense that you're gonna relapse
there was a couple of things that
happened in my life that um
were very shocking to me and
um
I
I just and I wasn't going to meetings
and I you know it's the same old story
you know I was not connected to
and my sobriety brothers and sisters and
I was drifting away and I um and
something in your mind it was just I
just the pain was too much so I did it
and then so what happened was now two
and a half months in three months in I
I started coughing up
chunks of blood
right so I was because I've been a
smoker since I was 17 years old right
and I was smoking so much weed and
cigarettes I would just cough up blood
but then simultaneously what happened
was Bob Sackett and Louie Anderson died
right and that week when I was coughing
up blood and because of because I knew
them both of them
I just in my head going I'm next because
to me everything happens in threes you
know
yeah and I'm like I'm
I've had convinced myself
that I was gonna die and I was on the
precipice of death and so I begged my
people to put me into this place in
Arizona so
because I knew I knew I needed to go to
a really rigorous psychology program to
get me out of where I wrote what I was
going through and also I was getting at
that time when I was
um in that hotel room I had not
drank or even smoked a cigarette or
didn't drug in a week I had to wait in
La for this bed to open up right
so I was coughing up blood I hadn't
slept I hadn't eaten right I was sober
but you know I was in so much pain and I
slept naked by the door of this hotel
room because I thought it would be
easier for the maid to discover my body
I mean that's how up I was I was
just in this
prison in my mind you know and um
I'm much better now can you give some
insights to how to get out of that place
how you got out of that place
I think getting sober first of all was
very important but that still didn't do
it completely you know what I mean I
still was convinced that I was and then
going I went to this place and I did you
know this place is a
12 hours a day Psychotherapy place where
you do 12 hours of you see therapists
all day long
so it's like a 12 hour long podcast
every day
yeah yeah but with professionals and and
they call you on your and they tell
you what's real and they tell you you
know I mean you know I'm going
also dealing with you know my still my
dad still some of these other things
that I you know I mean and um
and the the third thing that happened
was when I got back to LA after that
place I I got my lungs checked out and I
got my
um physical done and you know EKG my
heart all of it and I was completely
fine
you know and I quit smoking I haven't
smoked in almost four months
I've been drank and done drugs since
then too so um you know there's
definitely a complete Clarity and I I
have to also admit that this time around
it's just been completely different
is there still in the distance of fear
of relapse and all that kind of stuff is
that still no
so you feel good
I feel great yeah I feel better than
I've ever felt
even when hard happens yeah because
it's like I no longer want to be in that
place yeah and also on top of it it's
like
it would be a real shame because I
worked so hard to get to this place in
my life not just in my career with all
of it you know I mean I have so much to
lose I have so many people that love me
I just don't want
to be there again you know let me ask
you sorry you've talked about this
before but it's interesting let me ask
you a question you always wear a suit
only for the podcast uh yeah I wear it
in private too oh you do not always no
because I get recognized unfortunately
so you have to be selective about how I
wear what you like it when being
recognized or no
uh so because of podcasting as you
probably know uh the people that at
least recognize me are happening to be
amazing people so like yeah like they
there's an immediate connection so
there's two things about that I don't
like so one of them
I fall in love with people and so the
nature of interaction is like well it's
gonna be short
uh so yeah yeah so like you have to say
goodbye
um and I hate goodbyes you do yeah yeah
and then the other thing is just
introversion like I just I'm I'm an
introvert I'm a I have social anxiety I
have
um nervous about talking to people and
so on so
so you have to always I'm walking around
always
a little bit anxious that there will be
an interaction But ultimately once it
starts it's fun it's it's beautiful and
then the the the the the goodbye is what
hurts so both the hello and the goodbyes
are first it's the stuff in the middle
of this delicious
I think there's a beautiful thing though
for people like you and I in a weird way
you know because
um
number one
I don't know about you but I'm an
isolator I don't really like you know
any kind of social thing you know
um I like my even when I was doing drugs
and drinking I never do with people I do
it privately in a garage you know
and secondly
um
you know like I was my girlfriend and I
went watched the northmen the movie The
northmen no what is it does it tell me
the plot line you didn't even heard of
the Northman I have not heard of the
northmen it's Eggers he did uh a movie
called The Witch he also did a movie
called The Lighthouse you ever see the
lighthouse okay you watch movies no
you've never seen a movie and I've seen
The Godfather yeah I bet you money
you've seen Dr Zhivago yes
yes yeah like you like historical
sweeping yeah Schindler's List yeah yeah
yeah yeah if it's not historical or
sleeping you know you're not gonna lie
all right so um how do I explain it's
it's basically a viking movie
okay yeah yeah and um scars one of the
scars guard I don't know the Skarsgard
Brothers isn't it bjork's in it Willem
Dafoe Nicole Kidman and Ethan Hawk and
it's a you know it's a viking Revenge
movie so why does it make you think
about isolation no we could know about
what I was gonna say is when we went
when we went to the movie theater right
um afterwards there was a kid sitting
next to me
and
um he just looks at me because he I
guess he didn't know I was sitting next
to him or whatever
and he just went you know
hey dude I just can't believe you're
sitting next to me you know and
you're my hero and um I'm think I'm
doing comedy and it's really hard so I
was able to give him some encouraging
things and because that's who I am too
you know I mean I I want to help people
and I also
um you know the idea that he likes me
because he also spat enough specifics
about my life about my you know my
comedy and this and that so he
definitely was a fan and I was able to
you know
you know I'm not even if I become Joe
Rogan famous or that big you know what I
mean
I've I'm always going to say hi to
people I'm always gonna take photos with
people I I like that part you know of me
it makes me feel also that I belong in a
weird way because I felt so invisible
before I did comedy yeah I mean I felt
invisible and um it puts me in the game
of life I think in a weird way you know
so I think it's good for you as well
yeah it's a little little moment of
experiencing love
it's like it does feel like celebrating
life together you smile at each other
and so on although you did say I think
in a recent podcast that
you know people recognize you but
recognize you incorrectly
that I don't like
that
that's the opposite of life
okay yeah that that I I don't like uh
loved you in The Hangover yeah I mean
you know I I you know I or this is what
I don't like this is why I hate this yes
some guy will like me right I'll take a
photo and then other people will go huh
he's somebody and will walk up to me and
go hey so why did he take a photo you
know I want a photo yeah and they're
like no
I don't do would you do that no I would
I don't like that no yeah yeah no but I
do like the uh the experience where
maybe there's a couple
uh a guy and a girl boyfriend girlfriend
and the guy is a fan and the girlfriend
has no idea and it's always a funny
interaction oh yeah yeah yeah because
she's like trying to figure out what is
happening here yeah and it's always
beautiful to see but what if the guy
when he the guy explains to to his
girlfriend who you are do you feel
uncomfortable about that yeah yeah it
loads the information is transferred
quickly and she starts to understand
because she's not used to her boyfriend
being excited about a stranger yeah like
what what's happening here so it's a
fascinating little Dynamic that's a
beautiful it's like uh the spread of
information happens right there in real
life it's beautiful it's mostly though
do you would you say that
probably usually men that recognize you
or no but men the thing I've discovered
is men are more likely to approach
aggressively right uh women recognize
you they have a different way of like
double take
uh they don't want to uh invade your
space guys are like bro yeah yeah they
come in with a hug I had uh
uh South by Southwest had a guy
um I was just walking until summer I go
to stuff and I have a lot my favorite
spot Gadget 7-Eleven yes uh sugar-free
slushy I think for happiness I like I
find happiness at 7-Eleven so adorable
late late at night and he came up and
you know what can I tell you something
that happened to me I I haven't told
anybody this never happened to me before
I was outside of a 7-Eleven in Austin
I'm not gonna say which one and there
was a gentleman that approached me this
is at three or four at night which is
usually when I go I program all night
and I just like to go and take a break
he approached me in a way that maybe
somebody who recognized me approached me
he did a double take he walked past me
and then walked back and then looked at
me and I went into the 7-Eleven I
thought that's weird uh and then I I
came out with my slushie
and and then
he approached me
and he said can I give you a
laughs
so I have no
no really yeah so the energy he put I've
never had were you wearing a suit no
okay I was wearing like uh uh the
sweatpants and it was very kind of like
hiding from the world yeah yeah uh type
of thing I've never had anybody approach
me that but the energy he put the love
he had in the approach I thought he
would be like
um
love you on Rogan yeah
something like love some kind of and
then he just said can I I'm forgetting
the exact wording because it wasn't
uh the the wording was such that he
wasn't he wanted to make me happy ah he
didn't want to make himself have you
want to make me happy well when I forgot
can I give you a I think that
was the thing because if you said can
you give me a it would be it
would be very difficult yeah yeah yeah
no but I think there's more aggressive
way of phrasing that but he he presented
himself see I forget because it was
almost like gentle and poetic and I was
like
I I just started and said no no thank
you
move past that's what everyone does yeah
no thank you
no no no no no no no no thank you in my
mind I was like is this a threat because
it's fortnite uh I wasn't exactly sure I
mean I've never experienced this I
imagine this is what sort of um women
often experience the kind of the danger
the constant threats all around you but
I've never this just it was uh it was a
funny little moment I I didn't know what
to do with it yeah that happened and I
I go to that 7-Eleven often looking for
the guy
because now all right now I would say
yes no there used to be a steam room in
Beverly on Beverly Boulevard and
um my brother and I walked in there once
and I and we walked in and was a man
sitting there
erection and his dick was so big he was
jerking it off with both hands
and we kind of walked in and he goes
what's up and he just did it and we just
sat there you know I mean because it was
not aggressive yeah yeah yeah and maybe
that was the same fail you sense that it
wasn't an aggressive thing yeah it
wasn't yeah yeah it was just a kind it
was he was just minding his own business
and he threw it out but it wasn't also
it wasn't sexual either it was like it
was like it's just you know it's just
like it's like love or something yeah I
felt like he it's almost like can I give
you a hug right then why just take it I
I keep looking for it next time I see it
it's not in a gay one yea