Kind: captions
Language: en
yes I do believe women are delusional
with what they want women have been
hijacked with liberal values even women
are now using women as sexual objects
you defin hypergamy by can I manipulate
you yes or no yes of course I would love
it if you can just get as fat as you
want and not make an effort ever again
and no worries he'll still be loyal but
it's just not realistic I always say men
get cheated on so much more than women
do I want to talk about cheating yeah so
how do men put themselves in a situation
where they can avoid the kind of woman
that's going to cheat on them here's the
thing with men they this is a really key
difference why I always say men get
cheated on so much more than women do
they with women we enter relationships
with the Assumption the man is going to
cheat at some stage and then we're
looking for evidence that he's not going
to do it so we go in with our you know
with our like alertness on most women
and I I think there's an evolutionary
reason for that because obviously we
don't want to be left pregnant and all
these things so most women when they
meet a man they'll start to check his
online when he's online who he's
following and this and then over time
they earn the trust and like okay I can
relax he's actually quite good like I
haven't seen any problems perfect with
men they go into relationships with the
Assumption she would never they go in
with this naivity when they're dating
that why no no go would and the other
thing men do is because they've selected
a Woman They want to justify their
selection so they assume she's a great
girl they assume she's a good girl
simply because they've selected her not
because she's earned any of those values
so what happens is they ignore a lot of
the behaviors that predict cheating and
the behaviors that predict cheating are
so easy to see but they avoid those and
they just focus on what they like
because particularly if they're sexually
satisfied they will literally avoid all
the evidence so how are they get cheated
on is they go into it with a naivity now
men who have been with lots of women
will tell you that women are no more
innocent than men are they've been on
the receiving end when they've been in
bed with a girl and she's called her
boyfriend and said oh I'm just going to
be home
they've seen that side of women some men
have never seen that side of women so
they just think that doesn't exist so
what happens is they go in with a little
bit of naivity and they literally take
words over behaviors as soon as a woman
says oh no I don't do this I'm a I'm a
traditional woman they won't look at an
well say well she's a traditional woman
but she's been on a private jet recently
or she's gone on holiday with and she
didn't tell me who she was going with or
you know she's always in the club and
she doesn't tag me or any they don't
connect the dots they simply go by what
she says rather than what she does
and I noticed this particularly with men
who have terrible relationships with
their fathers and just grow up in a
single parent home I always say men who
grow up in a single parent home are far
more likely to be cheated on and the
reason I believe that is when you grow
up with just one parent you have only
one version of event you only have a
female perspective of the world you kind
of just think okay what mom says is
almost true because you don't have a way
of factchecking it when you grow up with
your mom and dad you see that mom also
you know she can be a bit annoying dad
is difficult sometimes you see the
dynamic and you can fact check the truth
and you validate what there being said
when men grow up with just a female
perspective they start to go into the
real world believing everything a woman
says and not double-checking it so when
she when she says oh my ex is so
controlling he used to always think I
was cheating on him he won't say why did
he think you were cheating did you do
anything they'll just think oh my God
what what how he's so toxic I'm going to
prove I'm so much better than him and
I'm not going to say anything I'm going
to let you do whatever you want they
just adapt to her perspective so that's
the first thing and the second thing is
because they grew up not seeing what a
wife looks like not seeing that women
you know they tend to come home when
they're happy they don't always go on
holidays with their friends they don't
come home super late they don't stay
over really like you know when they're
married they kind of stay home with
their they want to come home to their
husband they didn't get to see that
Growing Up So when their woman is hyper
independent they don't see it as a
signal that she's not attached they just
see it as this is how women come and
therefore they select women who are
usually more likely to cheat on them
because she has those traits of a single
woman that they don't not it they don't
notice does that make any sense or is
that it does uh I assume the things that
you went through are the behaviors that
predict so they're going out clubbing
they're not taking you
um what
are what are the things that if
somebody's being naive that they're
being naive about so certainly that
women are capable of it but um oh God I
hate to even say this but like what are
the red flags what do people well hasn't
made naive thing they simply think that
if they treat her better than what she
normally goes for they've got no
competition so what I mean by that is
they walk into a room and they be like
I'm the richest guy here I've got no
competition or I'm the tallest guy she's
been with I've got no competition your
competition is not defined by other men
your competition is by how loose her
boundaries are and her values you could
be the best looking man she knows you
could be the richest man she knows but
if she is somebody who really values
Independence and really really values
her own kind of Liber Liberation she
will not care if you're she's cheating
with someone less than you more than you
whatever it is it's her open her desire
to be independent and not be caged now
what they all do is they have this false
sense of security that they've created
for themselves rather than based on her
behavior your sense of security should
come from her level of dedication how do
you monitor her dedication she naturally
respects the relationship more than her
independence so what I mean by that is
yes she might want to go to MOS you
every summer and she might want to go
Monica but she understands that you know
when you're in a relationship in those
environments it can get a little bit
tricky so I'll go but I'll probably want
my husband there or I probably want you
what what they think is my woman would
never they don't think that my my actual
loyal women would rather not put
themselves in those environments they
have this mentality that she wouldn't
because I'm the best she has but if she
if you were truly the best she has she
wouldn't put herself in those
environments so look at her choices look
at what she chooses to do and if she
places herself in environments where
alternatives are presented regularly she
does that then she's probably not
satisfied and the other thing that they
forget is some men particularly young
men and in this generation they are they
you know if she's bisexual if she brings
other women in and this that the other
they're actually very happy about that
yeah yeah they they really love that
they're like oh my God she's so cool she
got other women involved the biggest
choke called you can have on a woman is
when you're the only person that is able
to sexually satisfy her when you invite
other people in and well man woman
whatever it is you're don't you're
you're opening the door for her
climaxing because of somebody else
outside of you you lose your choke hold
in that moment I see some of these
really like red pill kind of guys who be
like oh my woman she lets me get with
other girls and she even join seeing the
moment she can climax because of
somebody other than you you lose your
choke hold over her there is there is
women out there that I know that are
beautiful got many options but because
they haven't been with many men and
they're a bit like scared of their
they'll stay L to him even if he's in
jail they won't go anywhere because they
haven't tried other men but other women
that because the man has opened that
door for her and invited other
stimulants into the relationship
they you have you lose your ability to
get complete and utter sexual submission
from her when you invite too many
alternatives for
her okay all right this is very
interesting all right so the first uh
thing you said that really sparked me is
this IDE idea that uh too much
Independence is a problem so remember
men and women by the way I just want to
make that clear is for men and women I
would say that this started with what
should guys avoid if they want to avoid
being cheated on and the answer is
somebody who's too independent yeah uh
it's very interesting okay
so you're looking out for somebody that
you want somebody that puts the
relationship ahead of the independence
they're willing to give something up to
get that how do you begin to draw
boundaries around that like what is the
right amount of um submission to the
relationship and at what point does it
become controlling and stifling um
reasonable requests are not controlling
and what I mean by reasonable requests
is objectively we can agree it's not
about me it's not about you we can agree
that this isn't good for the
relationship so objectively it might be
the case that let's say you're going to
live abroad for a couple of years or a
couple of months or whatever it's
probably not good for the relationship
we can objectively agree on that and
even if it was the other way around we
were both agree or objectively we would
agree that going out a lot on weekends
drinking alcohol is not good for the
relationship so it's when we can both
agree that it's not unreasonable the way
to handle boundaries as a man is you
don't sit there and beg her to listen to
you and you don't sit there and be if
you can't do this you se you see her own
choices and you decide if it is an
appropriate selection for you to be with
this woman you don't force her to change
you allow her to live how she wants to
live and then you let her know what what
you prefer and give her time but if she
if she decides this is not how she wants
to live instead of being like well we
got to do this you got to listen to me
I'm the man I'm this you just say okay
fair enough I totally want you to live
the life you want but it's not
compatible with the values and
boundaries I have instead what they do
is they stay there get really
controlling really aggressive and be
like you need to listen to me you need
to but in that moment she learns you
don't have a willingness to walk away
she learns and that is something you
never want to teach man or woman you
don't want to teach anybody that you
have no willingness to walk away in
instead what you want to teach them is
the relationship means something to you
you want to protect this relationship
through boundaries and you want them to
meet you in the Middle with that if they
do that fantastic if they choose not to
the goal is not to be with you the goal
is to have a good relationship if you
don't want this we wouldn't have a we're
not going to have a good relationship so
no worries I wish you the best the
toxicity comes from the inability to
walk away that's one of those that it's
so simple but it really is true as you
were talking I was like is there really
anything other than leaning away from
somebody when they do a behavior that
you don't like
when they aavi and a to away that's
theame the only and it works men and
women it works for men and women like
you can sit there and beg your husband
to come home on time you can do all of
these things but the only thing that
works it works is your willingness to
work away now you might say now I walked
away and they still didn't change then
that person doesn't want you enough
that's a signal instead of begging that
person to want you accept their choices
if they don't want you enough and you
still want to be with them then let them
live the life they want but if that you
walked away and they didn't change they
don't want the relationship enough yeah
so don't keep using that trick learn
from that trick that it's not working so
therefore this person doesn't want it
enough whereas if you pull away and they
actually love and appreciate you more
they obviously want this relationship
they want it to work man uh this is
where self-esteem really becomes an
important part of this equation it's the
number one thing I honestly you can have
every ingredient but without self-esteem
man or woman no relationship can it
can't flourish sadly is is such an
important ingredient towards the any
relationship because without self-esteem
there's no self-respect and without self
resect there's no mutual respect so it's
a really difficult one so if you if
you're struggling in relationships
you're not actually struggling
relationships you're struggling in
self-esteem you don't know how to love
or be loved correctly and as a result
your relationships are distructive what
do you think has changed that makes it
hard for women today to respect and fall
for the average man uh men have
worshiped sex in a way that they've
never done before and as a result what
before would make a man want to marry
you would involve a woman having a lots
of good qualities before a woman would
think okay I have to come from a good
family or maybe should go to school I
should maybe educate I should you know
really learn how to cook I should do
something with my life I should sew I
should do something this is our
grandma's generation they knew that the
you know you make too many mistakes
you're going to be left on the Shelf in
this day and day and age the women that
are actually the least promiscuous and
most traditional or don't have sexual
experience struggle to find a man
whereas a woman with every surgery with
every tattoo with all of her body out
everywhere she has endless cue of men
now they're going to argue no no no but
we don't you know we don't want to marry
those girls they're they're actually
lying men are very happy to marry the
woman that gives them the most sexual
pleasure they think that's not true but
you ask them which of your exes or which
woman had the biggest choke hold over
you and it will be usually the woman
that they enjoyed the sex with the most
and when a woman learns that she can get
away with murder simply because you're
hyper attracted to her it makes it
impossible for her to respect and want
to be with you impossible because it's
like how did I get here so easily you
must not be valuable whereas when we
know that certain behaviors will make us
insufferable to you because you don't
give us a free pass because of our
appearance or our sexual performance we
can finally respect you so because of
the culture we've got today and because
how men have worshiped sex in a way that
they've never really did before um I'm
I'm not blaming them I'm blaming
societal changes it's made it very
difficult for us to respect the man that
we know you know if we just simply know
exactly how he likes it he'll forgive us
in five minutes or if we know when we
turn our back he'll be on downloading an
only fan subscription it's hard for us
to respect that man okay you're touching
on something really big here that
there's a what I'll call a derangement
in
culture uh so you hinted at this idea
that in the past we had a very different
culture what men wanted um incentivize
women to invest in a set of skills their
obsession with sex was being tampered by
something yeah I want to know what what
has changed in culture specifically what
did it used to be and what is it now um
we had realistic expectations of our
sexual climaxing and what our what we
deserve sexually so what I mean by that
is when a person looked you know wasn't
so appealing he would accept that he's
going to be with a woman that doesn't
isn't the most appealing and they would
have a relative be mundane sexual
performance and that would be their life
and the man that might be you know the
jock in school he might get with a
cheerleader and they'd have realistic
expectations of what to expect from the
opposite gender the Advent of social
media and pornography has allowed the
person with the least amount to offer a
woman to still believe he deserves and
still want to desire the topof the range
woman who is the most sexually
promiscuous who was most sexually over
he still believes there's an element of
him who thinks he deserves that now and
because they've got such inflated
expectations of what they want and
deserve sexually they can't match with
people who are on the same level as them
and it's leaving Le leading them to a
lifetime of loneliness because they'd
rather be alone than be with a woman on
their same level whereas before they
would just be like okay I'm a bit you
know maybe I'm not so successful maybe
I'm a bit overweight my wife's a bit
chubby I can understand it I'll meet men
who are now in their 50s and saying oh
she's she's let herself go a little bit
she's got a few stretch marks and it's
like but tell me about your body well
you I need to work out but she and it's
that complete hypocrisy that they've
developed through constantly watching
beautiful women online all right is that
the core cultural wound that we no
longer are being realistic about our own
sexual market value yeah I believe so I
think the inflated expectations from
what we're watching um and not being
aware of what we bring to the table is
one of the core issues but also the
liberation of sex of how like it's got
no cap on it anymore so just a normal
you know we would kind of just probably
expected by the time our parents got
into our 50s or 60s and stuff they would
have just a normal kind of sex life in
in this day and age there's still the
the endless desires and insatiable cup
when it comes to your sexual desires and
and because they're constantly bombarded
with different ideas it feels like there
is an endless hle and there's only so
many women that can keep up with that so
they keep replacing the women rather
than replacing this
desire okay so if we were going to
assign percentage blame to men and women
um and I I definitely want to dive into
the idea of deserve more but if we're
going to assign blame to men and women
is are men deranging it more or women
deranging things more men entirely men
entirely and they'll hate that they'll
be like no women have lost their this
women have I'll tell you why I say that
I happen to be a woman in a very unique
position where I have a kind of presence
on social media where I do help men like
you we we help men on a regular basis
and on a daily basis a short we'll get
millions of views and I'll have men
message me saying you saved me from
suicide you saved my relationship you've
helped me so much and then I will look
and I'll think I remember I was going on
my patreon I have a patreon where you
can sign up and you can ask me questions
and I'm doing fine on my patreon but I
looked at other content creators who
I've never seen before like women that
I've like oh I don't know what she's
donees I've never SE she's got nowhere
near the reach I have and this is not in
a competitive way I was just curious and
she would have hundreds of thousands of
subscribers and I was like oh I wonder
what she's doing it would all be
pornography related so I just thought to
myself I'm in a position I'm not saying
this in a jealous way because I know
that's how they're going to take it I
happen to help men on a daily basis but
because I don't lead with sex I will
never get the reaction or the following
whereas if I just started posting
pictures of feet toes this that and the
other I would be inundated with
subscribers so they reward the most um
toxic behavior in society and then
complain that women are no longer
traditional there's only let's say I
don't know the statistics but let's say
for example there's only like 500,000
only fans creators or porn creators but
there's billions of people watching it
so the main problem has to be the men
there's only a tiny percentage of women
that actually sell sex but there's not a
tiny percentage of men that watch it so
we have to think who is actually
contributing to the problem more okay do
you blame men in general for patronizing
it or is there something else that sits
on top of that like uh the capitalistic
impulse to give people whatever they
want so if they want uh a dating app
where they can find quick hookups we're
going to give it to them if they want an
AI girlfriend we're going to give it to
them um so where do we start getting
into the Nuance because what I'm trying
to really tease out here is I I think
you're right in that
ultimately every individual man is able
to start making better choices and get a
better outcome but at the same time
culture has energy and when cultural
Energy starts moving in a direction um
to look at an individual man who's now
bearing the brunt of of not being able
to attract a woman yeah um having to
work I forget what the status that
people throw out having to work five
times harder to get a girl that's half
as good you know what I mean like that
whole idea I think there really is
something to that and so I'll look at
guys and I will be deeply empathetic and
uh something that I talk to my wife a
lot about is you you really have to
immerse yourself in the culture to see
something is broken yeah and so do you
see that that overlayer that's
generating some of these problems or
really is NOP just individual guys
making mistakes do you know what I
started with a really different kind of
message I was very much like you know on
proen and really like trying to
understand the core problem and the
number one thing I've learned in my
experience is for them every problem is
alleviated through sex they alleviate a
lot of problems through sex if they all
have a marriage and instead of like you
know the wonderful like techniques that
the Gman Institute might say like where
you know you say nice things to each
other you can say the nicest things to a
man you can cook for him you can look
after him but if you are not satisfying
him sexually he'll risk it all to be
with somebody who does it's like you
have to go through that Gateway in order
to access the best parts of them in
order to get that attachment to get that
appreciation to get that love out of
them it's like you have to go in that
Direction first and then they can reward
you so it's almost like that's the
Avenue now to get love out of them so
it's very difficult I'm not saying women
are any better um but it seems like I I
and I did this because I've been working
with couples for so long and we'd be
trying this that and the other and then
now I just come in when couples come to
me the first thing I ask is like are you
sleeping together and she's like oh no
we are not and I'm like than everything
you've done like arranging birthdays for
his mom cooking for him ironing his
clothes it doesn't mean anything
sexually satisfied so start with that
I'm not saying actually that's a bad
thing I'm thinking if you know that it's
actually a bit easier but I don't know
if that's just my experience because I
get the skewed end of it but would you
say that men can only really appreciate
the other aspects of a relationship once
they're sex sexually satisfied women
need to feel loved to have sex men need
to have sex to feel loved the US
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kind I'm so sorry if I sound a bit
negative because I sound so different to
how I came last year only because as my
prices increased I saw more successful
men and then the behavior of more
successful men is so different to the
behavior of less successful men which
made me believe that the only reason men
are being good is because they don't
have the options and the ability to do
what successful men do so it made me
then even get into that is this why you
know you hear about royal families and
they can become pedophiles or is this
why you hear this so it makes me think
that as men have more Financial Freedom
their selection gets worse and worse
which means that their true desires
might be worse and worse but we they
just can't access it when they're on the
lower end of the financial status there
is something very true about that and
this brings us to um what has changed
that's made women have a hard time
falling for average men now yeah um I
would say materialism to that as well
yeah I I like just like how men are a
bit delusional about you know you'll get
men in their 50s and still think that
they can get a 25y old women are also
very delusional about the wealth that
they can access um they spend endless
hours looking consuming content online
which is just glorifying wealth and then
assuming that they deserve that
lifestyle and assuming it you know
almost making fun of men that aren't
quite on that same level and you know
what beautiful girls will do is use the
use sex to access it but less beautiful
women will just stay single they'll just
say well I'm a CEO or I'm I'm you know
working hedge funds so I'm not going to
be settle for a guy that's on an average
earning even if she's but they don't
realize for men appearance means more
than what you're earning so to get that
top level guy he doesn't care that
you're so smart and intelligent and
you're a successful lawyer he wants to
know if you have a 21y old sister yeah
that's what he's going to ask for so I
think there's a delusion on both ends
yeah I think that's really important to
dive into and and I will uh ultimately
answer the question of whether I think
men can or should have multiple wives
That's pretty interesting but um I do
want to um tie some of these things up
from the very beginning yeah uh where
we're talking about what what what's
changed what's broken um this idea of
deserve I think is a really important
idea um what do you think is driving
this sense of um entitlement they think
if they see it they should have it as
simple as that social media Mak that's
the criteria now I've seen it so I want
it there is no I've earned it there's no
that I also provide this quality so
therefore I could potentially ask for it
back but it's just I've seen it
therefore I want it and whenever you
have a quality and you just you're
Baseline for why you want it is because
you've seen it that's not a valid reason
for wanting something but if it's
something that you also provide and in
your past experiences you've also
received because that's what happens
then chances are that's a realistic
expectations but if it's something
you've never accessed and you don't
actually be you can't provide it
yourself then it's an unrealistic
expectation so what I mean by this is if
you're a very beautiful girl you can
expect a beautiful man yes or if you're
a beautiful girl and men have spoiled
you in the past and they've given you a
lot of you know money or whatever is you
can expect that if you've never
experienced men spoiling you you've
always had men that are you know more on
the lower end kind of dedicated to you
and yet you want a really wealthy man to
propose to you where is this expectation
coming from because it's not from your
lived experience expectations should
come from our lived experiences if
they're coming from vicarious
experiences that you've seen online they
are not realistic just take them out of
your mind because they will keep you
single and I I always say there's only
two reasons why people are single one
reason is is where they don't they have
excessive self-hate where they don't
really love themselves enough and they
have really low self-esteem so they
avoid people or they only go for people
who don't love them enough and as a
result they find themselves in a
Perpetual cycle of an unhealthy
relationship until it ends or people who
have which now more people are falling
into where people have excessive
self-love where they believe they
deserve certain traits and refuse to
settle until they access those traits
and as a result they're perpetually
single so I'll me men sometimes they'll
get to 47 48 years old and say um I want
to have kids so therefore I'll only go
for a 25 26 year old I want a woman in
my in her 20s because you know I want to
have kids which sounds valid on paper
and I like okay but she's going to want
financial compensation for the 20e age
difference they no no I want it to be a
a really genuine connection I but it's
the price you pay when you get to a
certain age you can't expect a genuine
connection from a young girl when you're
in your 40s and 50s you have to
sacrifice the the intimacy so they they
think that they still deserve that
connection but sometimes we pass that
same thing I say the same thing with
women I like if you get to a certain age
and stage and you haven't had your kids
you have and then they'll say no no I
don't want to be a stepmom so you can't
have any children but I want to have
kids but if you're in your late 30s
early 40s you have to adapt your
expectations it's the refusal to adapt
expectations and I'm stuck in almost a
childlike state of I want my dummy now
that keeps people single should people
settle well I think they should redefine
what settling means is it is it settling
in your case or is it just going for the
people that love you here's what people
think settling is just being with the
person that likes you but that is the
look your criteria should be what your
type should be in people should be how
somebody treats you that's it how they
look what their size they are what they
bring all of that stuff should be
secondary your type should be a
treatment not a person so my type should
be somebody who's kind who's loving
who's loyal yes attraction is definitely
important I'm not saying it's not
important but the treatment is more my
type where people get a bit wrong is
that their type has become she has to be
blonde she has to beue eyes and they
forget completely treatment is not
mentioned they don't even mention the
type has to be how much he likes you
back as well and how much she's
attracted to you back they don't look at
that they just look at in from a
unilateral perspective and therefore
they end up either single or being used
and abused in relationships yeah yeah uh
sexual market value I think is important
and I think people's delusions around
that create a lot of trouble and
figuring out what are the things that
are most important to you I think is
really it's really
moreal who do you think is more men or
women uh right now probably women
because the way that social media works
it really rewards women in a way that
wildly disadvantages men so some of the
things that we haven't gotten into in
terms of how we're in the system that
we're in so you've said previously that
back in the day you didn't have to be um
you couldn't be beautiful for anybody
more than the town that you're in and
now you're beautiful for the whole world
there's
eques say yours for kind of a throw
you're building the you're a bit of a
[ __ ] you're you're not confident enough
you don't know what you're doing I mean
a select few but for the most part no
it's just a dark time uh building blocks
building blocks exactly and so somewhere
in your early to mid-30s you start to
break out now somebody in their early to
mid-30s can very much still connect with
somebody in their early to mid 20s I
don't think that's a big jump so and
also the generation is in line with each
other right exactly so now you've got
somebody that's in their early 20s as a
woman that can see a guy that's in their
early 30s that's really starting to pop
off and so now that 20-some guy that
would naturally be going for the woman
that's only a couple years different
than him is competing with somebody
that's in their 30s and so now he's got
all these years to really just get
rejected over and over and over by women
that have a growing sense of delusion we
were just talking prepping for this
episode was beyond fun we
me and the producer Drew just started
talking about it and slowly there was
another person and then another person
and then another person until there was
like eight or nine of us like talking
about relationships and everything and
like where this is all going and they're
they're younger right they're in some of
them yeah so we but we have people that
are you know late 30 okay so everybody's
perspective was accounted for exactly
well and then I'm the old guy so that
was also accounted for but the
fascinating thing was the one universal
comment was oh it's actually easier to
get laid now it's just harder to get
someone to commit both the guys and the
girls felt like that was the case and so
that's like sort of derangement Point
number one is if what everybody's
actually looking for is a long-term
committed relationship but there's this
sort of invisible change in the sexual
mores where people just feel like well
I'm I'm just going to try the
merchandise before I buy and so it's
like you end up in yeah I'll have sex
with you to see like is there anything
here but and then point number two of
just complete total derangement is you
can be on the apps all the time endless
Choice constantly being like well I had
fun with them but was it the ultimate
fun could I have more fun and so now in
a world where women are hypergamous
they're dating over and up and they can
see the level of success via Instagram
whatever across a wide SWAT of humanity
have you heard what I talk about when I
say what hypergamy actually means for
women tell me I I would I know that the
traditional sense hypergamy is just you
know women want someone older richer all
these things I say actually none of that
matters women actually their definition
of hypergamy is the man that is she
can't manipulate that's the only man
you'll find high pergamus a 19-year-old
who's dating a CEO who's 40 years old
far more successful than her taller than
her uh more in more grades more
qualifications everything is above her
you would say that she's hypergamous I
can guarantee you if she can manipulate
every money every piece and get rent
from him get a car she will still throw
him in the dust and find somebody that
she actually respects that's not
hypergamy in a woman's eyes hypergamy in
a woman's eyes is we can't fool you
simple she would rather be with a man
that is less successful less intell she
not that she'd rather be but she'd be
more submissive to a man who's less
successful less intelligent might even
be a bit shorter but he doesn't fall for
nonsense he knows when she he's she's
trying to manipulate him she can't trick
him she can't manipulate him so I
believe hypergamy is finded purely by
the art of manipulation not actually by
the arbitrary things of course we want
someone richer and taller but the uh
Baseline of that only matters if you're
more intelligent than us and we don't
Define intelligence by financial success
we Define intelligence by can I
manipulate you yes or no if the answer
is no you are not an idiot you are not
going to pay my rent while your own
daughter's rent you don't even consider
or you are not going to buy me a car
because I slept with you a couple of
times you're not stupid but if we find
that oh my God I can tell him that need
his card and he gives it to me straight
away or I can tell him that you know I
lost my job so I need rent he gives it
to me straight away without me even
knowing him that well just because
immediately she loses respect and
therefore the hypergamy disappears so I
think you're on to a really important
addition to hypergamy but I can hear the
men in the comments screaming right now
like I can't be manipulated so yeah but
I still can't get a date yeah uh I think
the key to add to that is that uh it has
to be someone that the woman would want
to manipulate and so if she's not drawn
to you attracted to you finds nothing
interesting about you it doesn't matter
that if she tried to manipulate you tell
her to [ __ ] off you're not interested
whatever um there there is a dynamic
there so first there has to be mutual
desire and then there has to be a very
mature uh thing in it it's funny so I
don't think men look for Mutual desire
anymore I think men with high
self-esteem do I think men with super
high self-esteem I think the Baseline is
men with super high self-esteem
reciprocity is more important than
Beauty as long as she she wants him as
much as he wants her and this is like
she they men with high self-esteem only
know what women look like who like them
so they know women to want to take their
clothes off they want they know women
that are calling their phone 24/7 they
know women who are initiating sex that's
with men with high self-esteem that's
the type of women they're around men
with low self-esteem which is getting
more and more don't care if she wants
him just as long as he gets to touch her
so that's where you'll find these men
that go to escorts you'll find these men
that go to webcams these men that go you
know travel you know um passport boys
they don't care if she wants him or not
just does she let me have sex with her
they're not looking for Mutual desire as
much particularly as they get older you
think they're not looking for Mutual
desire or they have given up on finding
I don't think they know what it even
looks like because they're so replaced
Mutual Desire with attraction from their
perspective I had had a a video that was
got a lot of hate where I said that um
the use of prostitutes is um legal rape
and I believe that men who look for
Mutual desire they realize that consent
is not simply somebody saying yes it's
somebody who wants you as much as you
want them that's what true consent looks
like in their eyes whereas men who use
prostitutes consent simply means yes
regardless of whether that's manipulated
consent or whether that's you know
groomed or whatever it is as long as she
said yes so even if you had to get that
yes an envelope on the table they'll
take that yes they just want permission
but men with high self-esteem they don't
want permission they want desire desire
is their true form of consent when a
woman desires them so I think yes I do
believe women are delusional with what
they want but there's nothing more
delusional than that man that as he gets
older and older and older still wants
that 19 20y old but wants her to
actually want him she doesn't she's not
going to want you is Trump raping
Melania uh consensual rap
and there is a thing it's where the
consent is bought on and as a result it
becomes consensual rapes so you don't
think it's possible yeah that she thinks
oo like he's so powerful and so good at
what he does powerful and Status all of
these things only matter when the
underlying attraction is there let's say
yeah that my wife is in a car accident
and she gets
burned is she raping me if I sleep with
her uh no because the underlying
attraction is there even though
physically that's going to be tough
phally now it's going to be tough but
your premise for being together was is
not destroyed because it wasn't that
wasn't the premise of you guys being
together that wasn't the contract but if
the premise of Melania and Trump is that
this guy's smart he's uh an amazing
politician businessman whatever do you
think she would be with him if he was
broke tomorrow like lost everything of
course not right so then the premise is
the the contract says you have to
maintain the conditions of which when we
first met yeah whereas when it's love
and connection and commitment we
understand the conditions can change but
we're committed to you for them they're
committed to what their side of the deal
was let me um change my answer slightly
that would she stay with him if he lost
everything and was trying to rebuild um
I don't know I I literally when I'm
surprised I remember her name so that is
like how
am but remember Lisa being very
impressed when was asked
question you know why are you with Trump
he's just with you for your beauty and
you're just with him for his money or
just somebody said you're just with him
for his money and she's like hold on but
he's just with me for my beauty like why
is there such a double standard yeah now
my thing is I really do think that
there's probably more credit to give to
cuz what I always tell people is don't
worry about getting the money become the
kind of person that can earn that money
so it's like most NBA players will never
earn a championship ring but they should
still be just beyond proud of themselves
for being so good at something that they
were able to make into the NBA so
they're still the 1% athlete lse exactly
become capable of a championship
performance even if you never win a
championship so it is possible that
somebody is just so good at a thing that
somebody finds intoxicating that they're
able to get past that so I agree with my
wife there are things that I'm into with
her where the looks can and will fade
and I'm still going to be way into her
but I think that there are far more
Dimensions upon which people can be
connected where I wouldn't call it
consensual rap not that I'm ruling out
the con I the only reason I would say
that is you have to think that is if the
condition in which you chose to marry
this person if that was to change would
you still be connected to the person or
you connected to the condition I think
it's all all conditions all the way down
yeah so if I stopped um if I stopped
having a growth mindset and being
persistent and taking care of myself and
finding my path to confidence I I I
agree um and same with my partner I
would say the conditions are you have to
be kind to me you have to be loyal to me
you have to be loving to me those
conditions have to be met but my
underlying and your underlying
conditions are not transactional they're
more mut they create Mutual connection
whereas for some people they are they
don't those conditions don't create
connection they are just conditions so
it is just Rich you stay beautiful you
stay rich and once either of us breaks
the contract we go because there's no
actual Connection in that creates
longevity which I look I here's a thing
I have no problem with transactional
relationships I actually think in this
day and age I can actually understand
why a woman would say you know what you
can't trust men anymore they all cheat
they all do all this nonsense I rather
be with a rich guy have all my kids with
a rich guy and then if he gets divorced
we get divorced I completely understand
that guy and similarly I totally
understand the man that says you know
what women they're all the same headache
they all want the same thing why why
would I be with one that doesn't give me
any sex when I could be with a young
girl that's constantly got energy and
she gives me sex I totally understand
the transaction but what I don't
understand is a delusion behind it if
you know that's what you're going for
don't expect intimacy from that
connection so I I'll meet people in
those relationships where the man
genuinely believes there's an intimate
long-lasting monogamous connection but
it's not possible if you're just I agree
with doing absolutely anything you want
just don't be delusional about it if
you're dating a woman half your age that
doesn't speak the same language totally
fine you're using her for her beauty but
expect her to be using you for your
looks men are genuinely believe no no no
she loves me she loves me because of the
term hypergamy because I'm more powerful
and more successful women only care
about those things more once they're
fundamentally attracted to you they have
to be attracted to you first then we
give a [ __ ] if you're intelligent and in
powerful and successful but if that
underlying attraction is not there then
we're just using you and the underlying
attraction can't be there when there's a
significant age Gap some people will say
no no no it can 90% of the time when
couples like that happen she always
leaves with a younger man she'll leave
with the broke personal trainer she'll
leave with somebody that's around her
saying because here's the thing with
women we fall in love with connection
and we have the most connection with
people who are similar to us and when we
got huge age grab he might be gorgeous
but we are not connected to somebody
that is from a completely different
generation or anything they're just not
connected so this is something that and
forget so what is it then that causes um
a woman to really fall for somebody like
what should guys be um aiming at she has
to be naturally attracted to you first
and foremost so she can't fall in love
without some element of her what what
like guys are going to go collect skills
or attributes what are the skills
attributes that women find enticing um
well outside of her naturally being I
always choose women who are attracted to
you I always say to men you will never
ever get the same level of respect and
love from a woman who's not attracted to
you choose a woman who's attracted to
you when you try and bypass that because
you want a woman above out of your
league and you just want that she can be
out of your league as long as she's
still attracted to you some women are
just attracted to you regardless so she
has to be attracted and how you measure
how attracted she is to you is how much
a physical affection she initiates
doesn't have to be women won't always
initiate sex but when we're attracted to
a man we constantly initiate physical
contact so how much she has to be
attracted to you once she's attracted to
you she has to trust your judgment how
does you trust your judgment you have
intense amount of self-control you with
at all areas of your life you're you're
controlled with your money you're
controlled with your food you're in
control with with you know your intell
everything you you have self-control if
you are impulsive and you are chaotic
some women will find that attractive but
they are usually also very impulsive and
chaotic women most women want a man that
they know is naturally somewhat
responsible it might sound boring in the
short term but in the long run there is
nothing more unattractive than an old
teenager what is an old teenager a grown
man who's still impulsive so don't be
that guy it's just not attractive to a
woman learn to control your impulses
whether that means your aggression
whether that means your anger whether it
means your sex whether it means your
food you learn the art of self-control
because only through self-control then
you can achieve you can achieve whatever
you want without self-control it's like
you have to stop and start everything
you start in life you have to stop and
start whether you make money or whether
you have start a great relationship if
you don't practice self-control you
won't have self-respect and therefore
you won't you won't actually achieve
your long-term Vision so really practice
a lot of self-control I would say that
is really important for women and you
know the usual obviously charm and
skills and all those things but you live
a life that you're proud of one problem
with men that you know not men but it
can be for a lot of people is what's
really unattractive is when a man lives
a double life there are so many men that
in public they might be very admirable
might be very successful whatever it is
but their private life is one that is
shambolic or one that they're
embarrassed of or they're asham ashamed
of they might be doing things privately
that they're not proud of you need to
become a man that if there was a camera
following you in private you would have
no you would actually be proud of the
things that you do in private whereas
when you live a double life the problem
is you'll have to use your false self to
attract a woman and then she'll discover
the real you and she'll leave and you
almost you know always tiptoeing around
women because you know that if she knew
the real you she wouldn't be attracted
so the key is to become a person who
whose private self is congruent with
their public self and as a result you'll
be more attractive I know that's a very
vague answer but essentially we're
attracted to a man that is able to look
after us and that requires
responsibility yeah W say that it's a
vague answer but I think it would be
useful to understand um one why aren't
men doing this now because this is just
all from my generation just common sense
yeah so why aren't men doing it now and
then how does this manifest like uh go
start a business go sadly the reason why
they're not doing it now is impulsivity
is still rewarded by women because
before they would have to earn sex and
they'd have to earn access to women now
on a drunken night out they can get her
drunk you can get drunk and you can get
her so impulsivity in this Society is
really rewarded even when it comes toar
making money if you impulsively invest
invest in a particular cryptocurrency
you can become a millionaire overnight
so the the culture we live in has
rewarded impulsivity when really we know
that it's not actually good for
you in terms of your mental health as a
man that's really interesting so uh no
restrictions on sex means that men don't
have to grow up they well they don't
have to delay gratification they don't
have to they don't have to do that they
can literally live like a child forever
I live in Dubai and you'll be so
surprised that you'll see like men in
their 50s still hitting the club every
weekend you forget your age in a place
like Dubai because of you men that are
in their 40s and 50s and they still hit
the club every night and they still feel
like they're young now they're like and
they'll say but my body's young I look
young there's no problem but you're not
young I'm not saying you're old but
you're not you should be responsible at
this age and stage and they almost see
it as like a badge of honor that they're
45 and they're still getting girls and
they still sleep getting you know going
to the club and that's something to be
embarrassed about because your
self-control should have inhibited that
desire for you by now if you're still
that guy that gets all these girls in
your mid- 40s that means you don't
attract women of quality because if you
did you would have settle down by now or
you're just irresponsible and you don't
like the responsibility of looking after
a woman again that de decreases your
masculinity you should enjoy the concept
of looking after a woman rather than
just spreading your seed all day every
day you're not a fivey you're not 15year
old but that might just be me because
I'm such a grandma and I I reward kind
of boring men and I think that that's
actually a great life to to live in the
long run cuz it's contentment well so I
want to ask is that it the goal is
contentment the goal is peace over
pleasure that's all why is that better
uh because it's biochemically better
there's you know there's different
serotonin is released when we're
actually at peace rather than you know
doing dopam like dopamine releases so
biologically it's better uh it's better
for your nervous system it's better for
your hormones it's better for that but
also it's better for you psychologically
it's better to just commit to what you
have rather than focus on Alternatives
because you always live like a crack
addict always wish what's going on
what's going the piece that you get
where it doesn't matter what's going on
I've decided to commit to this situation
whether it's work whether it's woman
this and the other I've decided to
commit and now I ward off Alternatives
that's how we actually achieve peace in
any decision we make the even when
you're were deciding a holiday just pick
one and stick to it and you're more
likely to enjoy and appreciate than if
you kept looking at Alternatives it's
one of the reasons why buff people don't
enjoy the food so much there's so many
Alternatives the problem is we are in
undated men and women with Alternatives
which makes peace a very distant dream
now so how do we cultivate peace then in
the modern world um you try and avoid um
Alternatives whatever decision you make
you try your best to absolutely avoid
Alternatives but when you're picking
something or picking a partner whatever
it is in order to create peace is
instead of focusing on the millions
things that you like about the person
just focus on your deal breakers she
might be beautiful she might be great at
sex she might be all of these things but
if she has one or two of your deal
breakers maybe your deal breakers
loyalty or maybe maybe your deal breaker
is like she doesn't get on with your
family whatever it is even if she's got
one of those deal breakers there's no
point going to it you'll get pleasure
but you won't get peace from this
relationship same thing with women he
might be a million great things he might
be a great father he might be really
intelligent he might be all of these
things but if he's really distant and
cold to you or if he's you know can be a
bit abusive or if he's just not very
affectionate to you and that's a deal
breaker to you your relationship will be
filled with chaos so pick somebody with
no deal breakers rather than just all
the things that you love about them you
said earlier that you actually think
people should wait to marriage to have
sex M uh for real in practice well no I
agree with the concept I really do agree
with the concept I know it's going to be
very difficult I I and I have to preface
this I have contradicted myself on this
a couple of times and I'll tell you why
because I recently said men who do not
get women in their youth really struggle
with commitment as an adult and what I
mean by that is if there were a jock in
school and got all the girls you'll find
men that were the jocks and really
successful and get all the girls when
they're in high school you'll catch up
with them on Facebook they have very
average jobs have very average wives
they're usually a bit overweight
whatever it is and they're just coasting
along and I really whereas the men that
didn't get any girls if they've had a
glow up they're just surrounded by girls
all day every day and I really think
what happens is at a young age if you
learn the art of getting the girls you
want doesn't mean every girl but the
girls you want you remove them from
their pedestal and you can settle down a
bit easier but when you don't have
access to women when you're in your
young age you will forever be motiv M
ated by the desire to have women so even
your work you'll be like okay I can get
more girls or even when you're working
out I can get more girls everything
becomes rols around girls so those men
will they might get married they might
settle down but they'll crave the women
that they couldn't access when they were
young because I feel like that's a
formative age of your self-esteem so I
always just say like I do understand
that I've said that before but when I
talk about getting girls I don't mean
having sex with girls I mean the ability
to reject women some men have only been
rejected by women and they've never said
no to a woman ever because they've just
been ones that are always getting
rejected but other men have been with
women not been with women got girls not
got girls they're like okay I I can't be
bothered with her today anymore they've
learned that skill where you can say no
you can turn it down those men I feel
like tend to be better Partners what do
you
think um I don't think that people
should wait to have sex uh don't not
wait for I don't think it's realistic in
this day side not even realistic so I'm
giving you what I think is just wise so
if I'm trying to lead you to human
flourishing um um I think there are a
lot of things that go into sexual
chemistry and you're not going to know
if you have sexual chemistry until you
actually have sex uh so I get but do you
also think that when you um don't know
if you're going to have it and then
you're just with one person you don't
have it you're more fix like committed
to making to creating sexual chemistry
yes for sure and so going back to you
and I both believe that there should be
restrictions I just believe that they
should be self-imposed yeah uh you
believe they should come from God
however people get them happy as long as
they aren't forced upon them from the
outside um
but when I think about um there is sort
of
a you need to build up desire so you
should be hungry so if I were single
then yeah I'm not going to be looking at
porn certainly not as we come up towards
the weekend if I'm about to try to go
out and get laid because you're going to
need that hunger built up before uh
you're willing to take the risk and all
of that um I am going to invest in my
vision of what a shared future is going
to be why I want a woman what are the
things that are emotionally healthy for
me what does that look like I'm going to
map my values I'm going to talk about
I've been talking about what I wanted in
a wife since I was like 18 so just and
the thing is that ended up working for
me because one I knew it when I saw it
yeah um because I literally laid out
here are the things that I'm looking for
from values from traits and and when I
found it I was like oh wow like this is
I remember saying I'm either never
getting married or I'm marrying this
girl so to say how that played out um so
I do think all that is important but I
also think that just like it is very
fair of people to say that I can't
possibly understand what it actually
means to have a child because I don't
have a child yeah you can't possibly
understand what it means to have sex if
you've never had sex and given how
important that's going to be for the
rest of your life um not trying it be is
there is there a reason why men value it
so much more like like is it like why do
you guys like why does your life Revol
around it so much I'm so curious you you
mentioned this earlier and you said a
phrase that was so accurate that I
wanted to like say
something well because I think it's good
to map what somebody thinks first um but
now I'll go back to it and say you said
they're obsessed with vagina yes both of
those words are accurate literally
obsessed and well Evolution has
guaranteed it right so I didn't do
anything to want that and I didn't even
grow up with pornography so I mean it
was there but it was really hard to get
a hold of so um until I was probably 25
I maybe
saw 10 different women this didn't
hijack your young because your
prefrontal cortex would have been
developed by then so yeah well by the
time by the mid 20s for sure but um
pornography did completely derail me
when I was a kid actually went on a trip
when I was like 18 so I I went on it
back to back so one year I was 16 or 17
can't remember exactly and then 18 and
when I went and wasn't old enough to buy
a Playboy magazine I actually think it
was Penthouse but I wasn't old enough to
buy it I went and hung out with
everybody and had like a little Summer
Romance no sex or anything but it was
because I had no game in high school but
anyway it was unbelievable it's one of
the strongest most interesting memories
of my
childhood can report report when they
first saw SE um pornography because it
had such an impact on their brain well
no no no the the year without
pornography becomes one of the most
important memories of my childhood then
the next year when I could buy a
pornography magazine I just spent the
whole time in the hotel reading all the
smudy Articles and so I ended up being
kind of ashamed of that trip because I
was like wait last year when I didn't
have this I had such a ball because I
engaged with everybody and now that I'm
in the grips of this thing that has
grabbed a hold of my brain I did
something that I looked back on and go
it wasn't is profound and don't get me
wrong the amplitude of the being
engrossed in the sex is very very high
amplitude but it was devoid of meaning
so thankfully I had that sort of idea
reinforced early on that connections
with people are far more like
emotionally satisfying and so that that
was good that planted something in my
head but it also makes me deeply
concerned for people that just have
unfettered access to pornog all the time
every day and the way that it will um
cause you to when you don't have a
prefrontal cortex just be obsessed with
that to the exclusion of the other
things and when you're young if you
don't have these profound experiences
you don't have to compare to because you
never go out and don't have a phone and
don't have access to porn but the thing
is it's just one thing that men men
don't realize is how much it is the
miseducation of sex it's not actually
teaching men how to make love it teaches
them how to make hate they literally
just learn sexual violence and they
learn degradation which girls I'm not
saying that they're perfect some of them
love that but they love that in the
short run they then want to transition
into normal like love making if they
really love you and care about you and
then get back to being like you know
women that just want to cuddles and and
this that the other because that's what
we're primarily driven by a woman that
wants you know to be thrown around for
the rest of her life has probably had
some kind of damage because usually they
kind of settle down they want that here
and there but usually they settle down
with it the problem with that is men get
used to that way of making love and they
can access that in either hyper
promiscuous women or in short-term
casual relationships you can't get that
in a 20-year marriage all the time
because there'll be times where she's
like no no no because she's comfortable
enough to say no leave my hair alone
today so whereas they can't they can
only access that in really short term or
really promiscuous women so they end up
being sexually compatible with women who
are hyper promiscuous and when you're
meeting a woman who's hyper promiscuous
she's going to be 10 times more
promiscuous than you because she's got
leverage a promiscuous woman has far
more men available to her than a
promiscuous man so they become
compatible on this very extrinsic value
they become compatible and then they end
up losing her to that promiscuity or
they just look for shortterm meeting
short-term meeting because that's the
only woman that can maintain that kind
of behavior because she's only with you
for a couple of months and then she can
do it and then she leaves so that it
gets them almost into a sociopathic way
of making love it's not actually what
women find attractive and the the thing
is they think they're learning all these
skills and moves but if you speak to
women they are far more
satisfied with men who have not watched
born or been in long-term relationships
compared to men who do short-term one
night stands some men will be like oh I
slept with 100 girls this year if you've
slept with so many men again sorry so
many women and you've got loads of one
night stands behind your belts that is
an indicator you are not good at sex the
man that actually has more long-term
relationships is far better and far and
this is there's been so much resour to
support this because you don't have any
repeat customers if you're just doing
one night St so you don't learn anything
about women and you don't learn what
pleases and what doesn't doesn't please
them whereas men that have been in
long-term relationships few are women
but have been there with them longer
they learn what how to read a woman's
body whereas porn addicts learn how to
just reenact moves and there's a
complete difference in them and women
are looking for men who let read her
body rather than somebody who just reads
a script that they saw on PornHub okay
I'm going to take you into nuanced
Waters um everything you said makes
total sense for maybe the average person
somebody that doesn't have access to
selfawareness whatever um going back to
this idea of obsessed with vagina
experiencing
women made at
sex even though um some of them were
very Brief Encounters no repeat
customers um because if one of them is
honest with you about what they like
yeah then uh all of a sudden it's like
oh whoo like I never would have thought
of that that's really interesting so
little bits of feedback yeah but then
doesn't that then also suggest then
women who've had more experience are
going to be better at sex almost
certainly yeah and therefore how do men
fall in love through sex so they're
going to end up falling in love with
women who are more
promiscuous um I something breaks for me
with my personality on that train so
again you're probably speaking to
averages and I'm speaking to younger I
think generation that grew up on like
you Instagram and that that is their
preferences um and haven't experienced
loyalty in relationships but if we are
suggesting that more experience leads to
better sex than men always fall in love
with the woman that gives them the best
sex they're going to fall in love with
the more promiscuous woman overall in in
the real world that's who they're going
to be most attached to and therefore
what are we rewarding and then we're
complaining that women are so liberal
and women are no longer mothers and
women it's because you're falling in
love with the women that know how to
handle you sexually best rather than the
women that know how to actually give you
a b good life best yeah it's interesting
though if somebody can't figure that out
I worry a lot about them so
this is an inverted you so everything
when you talk about this it's like look
I am scared for people that I know and
love I've got a lot of young guys on the
staff and I don't know if they have my
skill set and would be able to navigate
that we take it for granted because we
would think it's common sense but it's
not common sense unfortunately it's
really not common sense and you'll know
it's not common sense by how much of a
reaction I get when I say it it's so
common sense to us that you would think
people would just scroll past my thing
and not even think twice about it but
the fact that people will literally fo
at the mouth when I say it means that
it's unfortunately not common sense
isn't it bizarre that it's not common
sense uh nothing surprises
meore uh so well if it's not common
sense let's give it to people so this is
going to be an inverted u in my
estimation from sexual experience
standpoint uh zero is problematic and
somewhere I mean if I'm going to put
numbers on it somewhere probably north
of 25 it's I'm talking for guys that's a
lot it starts to be 25 it is a lot is it
a lot or not a lot in this day oh in
this day and age I assum not lot it's
probably not um but that to me is is
you're for sure going to be on the side
of like okay now we're we are you know
women you know yeah you probably knew
women somewhere around seven 8 nine 10
and there like you've had enough variety
but anyway if somebody got to 25 going
back to this idea of obsession with
vagina nature squeezes your brain in a
way you can't imagine when you're having
sex with a novel female it it is it's
really unbelievable now I love that I
can talk to my wife about this cuz I'm
like you just don't understand like
there there are few things that are as
gripping as that and you what's well I
can't speak for all women but from a
female perspective there's nothing more
for me there would be nothing more
traumatizing than having to sleep with
somebody in you yeah isn't that so weird
it it is from because I'm obsessed with
evolutionary it is not weird in the
slightest uh everything about Evolution
predicts that that would be true so in a
world where you could die having kids
and I could impregnate somebody in four
minutes never see them again and now I
have a child that's out there somewhere
our strategies are just so different so
you have to develop a uh detective
agency for a brain anybody that hasn't
read it I highly encourage you to read
the book a billion Wicked thoughts a
billion Wicked thoughts uh and they talk
about this idea of the detective agency
so a woman has a detective agency is
this guy going to be good are they going
to have access to resources are my kids
going to be okay all that stuff can I
trust him blah blah blah uh a guy is
just like am I going to be able to get a
PR my climaxing so um it's very very
different strategies now guys are more
likely to have a child that survives if
they also invest at least for a short
period of time so we are by way of
species we are very much in the middle
so which you can tell by the size of
testicles I don't know if the audience
cares about this but so humans have
testicle size put right in the middle if
we were um very monogamous we would have
tiny testicles cuz we would not what
animals have that uh there's certain
gorillas that have tiny testicles yeah
because they they basically hoard all
the females so they don't have to
there's no sperm competition whereas you
get some animals where they have
gigantic testicles cuz they're just
everybody's having sex with everybody
and so they it's tons of sperm
competition humans are somewhere in the
middle um so anyway going back to this
idea of the inverted youu a little bit
of or no experience is bad is you get a
reasonable amount it's good I would
agree with you I I would probably look I
morally I would disagree but I guess in
terms of empirical and stuff I can I can
agree I can understand why that and I
would say the same applies for women as
a body count increases they learn
something about male bodies from each
man a different preference and therefore
she comes like with a menu full of uh
treats for a Man U which is totally fine
but then just don't claim you want a
good woman claim you want an experienced
woman well we have to Define what we
mean by good woman because here's the
thing I work with men and women yeah I
work primarily with men but I have you
know a lot of female clients and the
only women that are struggling to find a
partner are ones that are actually wife
material you speak to a woman who has no
intention of settling down who is very
good at you know performing sexual acts
and stuff she has no problem meeting men
she's constantly surrounded by men so
it's just the the message that men are
giving online is that they want good
women and stuff but it's not in line
with their behavior and I just wish
there was more honesty about what you
truly want out of a woman and once you
give women that Honesty they know cuz I
know men who'll say my wife you know she
just stopped having sex with me years
and years ago that's the primary thing
and I was like but have you mentioned
this to her have you said this to her I
said it once or twice joking they're
like scared to voice it they're scared
so that lack of honesty about how
important sex is so many women will say
oh he never really spoke about it I
didn't know that he was so deprived he
seemed fine about it they don't talk
about their true needs and I get get it
sounds predatory but it's better to give
women that information than to hide it
and mask it and tell women no no we
don't want promiscuous we don't want
this but then they go through life
thinking that's what you truly want but
that's not what you're rewarding at all
so it's giving women a really um
misinformation about how to actually
attract a partner what do you think
women believe they need to do to attract
a partner women believe that in order to
get a good man you have to be quite you
know quite reserved sexually they also
believe that you have to you know be
quite submissive and tolerant you know
and you have to be quite very agreeable
that's what women the message women are
getting that you have to do to attract a
woman what's really getting rewarded is
hypersexual incredibly sexy rather than
beautiful you know that gets rewarded
and somewhat confrontational they reward
women that give them some push back the
woman that's actually incredibly nice
and agreeable they are likely to keep
her in their life and maybe they'll have
their kids with her and stuff but they
don't seem to be um engulfed by her that
they're almost indifferent to her they
might use her for procreation but
they're not actually attached to her the
women that you are when you ask a man
which woman had the biggest choke hold
over you it would always be one that was
sexually active and somewhat abusive
and I don't know why that is this is
very interesting um okay we we're going
to have to dive into this because I this
one feels to me like a bias given your
job it is a buys given my job and also
the reason I would say that I have to
preface that is that applies to low
self-esteem men High self-esteemed men
do not enjoy enjoy any form of kind of
push back and aggression and like you
know that they just don't like that
crazy toxic cycle at all low self-esteem
men see toxicity as a signal that she's
to him rather than a signal that her
mental health is unstable they see her
overreacting to you liking a picture or
overreacting to you to go you know see
your ex-wife with the kids her
overreactions as oh she must really love
me rather than a reaction to show that
she is unstable and she's found a man
that tolerates instability yeah uh I
learned from sakan that women don't want
a man that tolerates instability and I
think that's true okay so I want to go
through these because I think there's a
really important picture that's emerging
from this um okay so uh Nature's made
men obsessed with vaginas they very much
want how do they control that then by
the way like what is the solution if you
are if they are designed to be obsessed
with vaginas how does a man like
yourself and stuff like that how do how
do you manage that
like uh it to me it's very easy to have
control over my impulses so just like I
want to eat ice cream every day I just
go does this bring me what I want so I
have a rule in my life I don't think
people have enough rules in their life
but I have a rule in my life
self-imposed
that I only do and believe that which
moves me towards my goal uh my goal is
to um feel good about myself and I'm by
myself this starts to stack but uh
ultimately the point is that I really
value relationships with a person that
you can be their number one and they are
your number one and that so I value the
diad so I think a lot of people end up
preferring the either Triad or tetrad um
where they want a family so for me I hit
the diad and it was so intoxicating I
was like oh actually I don't need to go
beyond this and every time because
originally we were going to have kids
and then every time we were like okay
but now we're going to start I was
reading baby books and all this stuff
and I just kept hesitating anyway so the
diad for me is I think most men actually
prefer the DI they just don't realize it
I don't want to derail yet that's
important we'll come back to that I
don't know that that's true and I would
certainly not advise men to follow my
lead on that um but okay so uh we've got
some olical things that are building up
uh what men say they want is reserve
sexuality submissiveness and tolerance
those are all true yeah so now obviously
I'm only n of one but from everyone that
I've ever spoken to all of these make
sense uh but the reserved sexually is
the Madonna horror complex that's only
one side of the equation so you want
someone who was reserved sexually before
they met you and then becomes an
absolute freak with you but when you're
like whoa have you ever done this before
you want her strapped to a lie detector
and she's like no I've never done it
before you've only done that with me yes
I've only done that with you right that
is the fantasy dream now look over time
you become way more secure and so these
things bother you a lot less but there
are things that my wife has only done
with me and in the beginning it really
meant something to me that she'd only
done that with me and it would have then
bothered me if she had done that with
somebody else right so uh it's really
intriguing like those things matter so I
wanted Lisa to uh have virtually no
experience before meeting me and then
just be like a total freak uh I think a
lot of guys feel that way I agree that
they want those things but do they stay
loyal and reward those things I would
agree every man wants somebody sexually
reserved and tolerant and stuff like
that absolutely they want those things
but does that what women want is how we
decide if you want us or not is how
loyal you are to us you can say you want
us but if you're not being loyal to us
we just think you don't truly want us I
don't know how loyal they are to that
kind that prototype of woman I know Tomy
is a bit of an exceptional and all this
but generally speaking the majority of
men when they do meet a tolerant woman
who's sexually reserved and is very you
know submissive that is the woman that
they're most likely to cheat on because
that woman is the least likely to
question their judgments and their
behaviors and they want someone that
doesn't question them so but the problem
in when you never question a man or
where he's going what he's doing or
anything like that he can come home and
anytime or go wherever he wants is it
leaves the door open and so yes they
might want that but do they actually
stay loyal to that I think that the
thing that's broken is probably
something slightly outside of the story
yeah um I think going through each of
the things that you said will bring the
picture to light of what's really going
on so you've got uh what they reward is
hypersexuality
um they don't want push back yeah uh
they're not actually attaching to these
people and they end up stuck with people
that are a little abusive and they're in
these toxic Cycles okay so what I think
is going on here is we have a breakdown
of a value system and this is why when I
was asking you earlier do you think that
this is men or women making bad choices
or is there something going on at a
layer above that like in the food
industry where there's something
deranged with the way that food is made
the way that food is explained like hey
you're healthy at any size and you
should be able to eat whatever you want
and you know as As Long As It Fits your
Macros like it doesn't matter what you
eat and so there are all these things
that end up creating a false sense of
how things ought to be so I really want
the world to distinguish between what is
and what ought to be so you've described
very well what is what's happening right
now certainly as men get more and more
successful uh the is gets quite ugly for
you it's jading you a little bit right
it's it's a bit of a um a bummer I think
as you see more of this like oh my god
when they're completely check this is
ugly I don't like this but what I
actually think this is these are bad
values and so the reason that I think
culture has gotten deranged is there
have been a few really key pieces the
pill being one of them the sexual
Revolution being another where we
changed morals and it had an immediate
positive effect yeah Freedom which I
really believe in but then it has these
second and third order consequences that
unfortunately we had to let a couple
Generations get mauled in this Machinery
but there's now an Awakening and this is
how I think it has to play out you have
to let people do dumb things and then
other people learn from the dumb things
keep the good discard the bad and then
now we're going to swing back in a more
traditional Direction and history tells
me it will just keep pendulum swinging
back and forth how do you define Freedom
how do you define Freedom uh the ability
to choose what you want to do for me
that just sounds a bit like Freedom
means the ability to give into your
impulses correct but from giving to your
impulses means that you're a slave to
your impulses not free you pull the fast
one so I am free to give into my
impulses but I don't you choose not to
yeah corre you excise selfcontrol and
the reason this is important when I was
at Quest we had made what I'll just be
bold and say was a revolutionary new
piece of food yes all the while the
government was threatening to make us
put a warning label on our food because
it was too high in fat but fat wasn't
the problem they would have no problem
with me putting sugar in it which we
didn't but they would have loved that no
problem green light everywhere but they
were threatening to create this new
label that would have made us put a red
light on our product because it was high
in fat but they're dumb they didn't know
what they were talking about and I am so
afraid of well-intentioned but
unfortunately undereducated people doing
these top- down Solutions so I want to
be able to decide whether or not I chase
a bunch of different women or whether I
go I don't think that's going to lead me
where I want to go but I get to make my
own decision would love to redefine
Freedom as the ability to overcome your
own impulses for your long-term goals
then and I know that doesn't sound very
freeing but I would say that I it's far
more freedom when I know I can avoid
giving into the desire for cake or
desire for this I would feel like if I'm
giving into everything I want to do I'm
a slave to my impulses and it feels like
I'm a prisoner to my own desires I would
say freedom has to remove desires and
replace it with goals and I I mean it's
not really the of freedom but I
genuinely think that's far more uh
constructive to human flourishing than
actual freedom because we just Describe
freedom in this day and age as low
impulse control and giving into desires
which is actually not so much freedom
but self-indulgence why can't we replace
Freedom with the ability to overcome
desires and that's where we're not
giving into this and that's almost see
your desires as a tyrannical government
telling you can't do this you can't do
that you can't or do this do that and we
see our impulse as that like a you know
a dictator in our brain that lives in
our brain designed to self-sabotage us
and our freedom comes from no [ __ ] you
I'm not going to eat that piece of cake
or [ __ ] you I'm not going to pay for
that escort or no I'm not and it's going
above the dictatorship impulses that we
have in our
thoughts that is so brilliant do you
know Joo willink no so oh my God so it
is amazing that you and Joo have come to
the same conclusion I think you're both
right what does Jo do for so he he's a
military leader
uh Beyond extraordinary person has since
left the military was a Navy SEAL left
the military started several companies
teaching leadership but he has a phrase
discipline equals Freedom right and so I
think he would have stood up and clapped
at your description of the tyrannical
desires love to beet him at some point
he's man you sitting there talking
fascinating he he I want him to run for
president I am one of many people that
would like amazing he's been on the show
recently or a long oh okay amazing I'll
make going to much to my dism
uh but yes so I agree with you
discipline equals Freedom this is why
but you and I have a I don't think it
makes sense for us to spend more time on
this but you and I have a difference of
opinion about whether people should be
free to do dumb things but we both agree
that in practice if you don't have
discipline you don't have real world and
I agree with your concept that it's
almost good allow people to make their
mistakes allow people to make moronic
decisions at least we get to see what
those play out as so I understand your
perspective on that yep yeah uh okay
okay so we have a value system G ay is
my takeaway yeah that we believed so
fervently in Liberty that we thought
Liberty would have no consequences so
creating the pill saying that women can
and should be able to sleep around as
much as they want that a woman should be
able to have any career that she wants
uh that they don't need to have kids all
of it all of it all of it they should
have the ability to choose that but
there's a reason that Lisa and I say hey
we've DEC not to have kids PS This is a
hyper dangerous strategy you should be
very careful now why do we say that
because there are evolutionary
algorithms running in your mind the
point is human flourishing and we know
that while this works for us it's
probably not going to work for everybody
you know what I I also changed my mind a
lot on like children for men as well I
would say to men um if you naturally
have a low sex drive have children if
you've got a hypers sex drive do not
have children you'll end up causing a
lot of mistakes in your marriage and I
know that sounds terrible but what I
because what I've noticed is men who
have a really high sex drive they then
have a woman and they're very happy and
then they have kids women they change
their sex drive changes so they're in
they become un incapable of being
monogamous in that situation because
obviously there's months or weeks or
months without having sex and more so
than anything the attention shifts to
the child so I think men should pay
attention to whether or not they as a
man can cope with long periods of
celibacy if you cannot then don't think
twice before just jumping in and having
kids know yourself enough to know what
is going to trigger your polygamy and if
you know that there's something that
might trigger your polygamy don't enter
a monogamous
relationship yes that's very interesting
and so many of them get jealous with the
amount of attention that a woman gives a
children and so many of them then start
seeking a feeling of being loved and
adored that they used to get from their
wife so look here's I always say to
women that come to me and say how do you
find a loyal man I say look there's two
types of men there are some men that are
loyal to their wife regardless well
throughout the marriage they'll be loyal
to their wife there are other men who
are loyal to the woman they fell in love
with if she stays exactly like that
woman they will be loyal and my husband
falls into this category they will be
loyal to her forever so as long as she
doesn't change anything she still looks
after herself she still gives them a lot
of attention she's still you know
available all of those things she's
still affectionate they will be loyal to
that woman until they die there's other
men that will be loyal to their wife so
she can gain weight she can lose weight
she can have kids she can not have kids
she can be you know ups and downs but
they're loyal to that wife they won't
step out you have to figure out which
one of those your man is if he's loyal
to the woman that he fell in love with
you better stay exactly the same if he's
loyal to his wife go you can do whatever
he will be loyal do you think that's
true Well you certainly described me um
I am loyal to Alisa and so I have a
whole thing in my psychology about I
want to know what it looks like to share
a life and so I married a woman who
stayed at home who took care of my needs
who was going to have kids and she ended
up turning into an entrepreneur and all
of that now what's interesting is that
it's so funny when people watched the
episode that I did recently with Lisa
they're like oh she wears the pants and
the family and oh Tom's it's like [ __ ]
if you watch the whole episode you're
you were going to realize very quickly
that isn't true that I have a really
strong belief that my job is to uplift
her and to help her become the best
version of herself and who she wants to
be um but that in no uncertain terms and
Lisa will be the first to tell you this
that my role is to be the emotionally
stable one to be the rock to um if she's
getting out of pocket quite frankly
emotionally I'm there to nudge her back
in and bring her back in line which is
something that I've heard you talk a lot
about they Define beter so like
childlike if you just have a strong
woman and you support her or your beater
beter is simply a case you have a wife
that absolutely adores you and loves you
you can't really be beater when you have
a woman like that who is so unbelievably
loyal so dedicated to you because
whatever you've done has created that
outcome in her so you're by Des sign
Alpha whereas beta what I would say is
when you have a in a relationship sense
is when you have a woman who's
disrespectful disloyal is not madly in
love with you and instead of leaving you
reward that behavior that is beater but
if you've got a very loving loyal wife
which you praise be to God do have it's
impossibility for you to be a beater
because how did you manage to get this
connection out of her how did you get
this dedication out of her how did you
get this loyalty out of her so the
dynamic can't be beaten in my opinion
yeah I I don't I haven't looked closely
enough at the problem to know if a woman
can really fall and commit to a beta
male there are relationships in my
circle people that I know but not well
where they very much fit the description
of he really is beta and she really is
Alpha I'm not inside their house I don't
know if it's but is she dedicated and
loyal to him uh it seems to be from the
outside then it's limited in how beater
it might be just a case of he's a people
pleaser he's sensitive but I really
think beater is more of a case of
rewarding dist loyalty rewarding Premier
security begging for is a simp yeah no
doubt yeah so I would say that's more
what I lean into when I define beta if
your wife is loving and loyal to you I
don't care how you got that out of her
you got that out of her so therefore
your relationship is relatively good but
if she is disrespectful and disloyal
doesn't matter if you then stamp your
Authority and you've got muscles you're
still not Alpha you cannot be Alpha it's
an impossibility so uh I would just say
that the level of loyalty that you've
derived out of your wife would make it
difficult for me to believe it's beta
yeah no I I very much agree that God
would I go into the alpha beta at least
I used to talk in these terms for long
time talk into these terms um and I also
hate the high value low value kind of I
got spoiled uh so I'm I don't know why
I'm hesitant I don't like the terms
Alpha and beta but I will say here's
what I think is a mature Dynamic yeah uh
there are things that I'm better at than
my wife in those moments I should lead
there are things that my wife is better
at than I am in those times she should
lead when you balance it all out my wife
will tell you that I'm the right person
to lead most of the time and so if you
say Lisa who's the leader in the family
she'll say uh it's my husband for sure
100% um but I Was a Fool in the early
days when I thought I had to lead all
the time and she would only respect me
if I was like Alpha dominant yeah and so
there there is a lack of maturity in
that yeah um well good leadership is
knowing when to delegate correct and
therefore you have a wife that you can
delegate things to if you've chosen a
wife that you can't delegate anything to
and you just have to lead everything you
haven't got a wife you've got a child
and that's not very good leadership
that's just poor delegation yeah and I
think so going back okay this is a
breakdown of values this a breakdown of
a vision of what the future really
should look like I think because uh I
think that men now are in some ways
getting confused about what they want do
I want a partner or do I want a sex toy
and if you want a sex toy fine but there
you are there are trade-offs you are
going to give up a meaningful part of
The Human Experience um if you want a
wife and you are letting women trample
all over you you're going to end up
being the child in the relationship and
so people really have to understand like
one thing that happened to me and we
talked in our last episode about this
but um the girl that I was dating right
before Lisa um started to pull away and
I I really am I just live by a paradigm
of things that I believe to be true and
one of the things that I believe to be
true was if somebody pulls away from you
the only wise response is to reciprocate
and pull away from them and so she
pulled away from me I pulled away from
her and then that brought her closer to
me and I was like I can't believe this
works and so I was like okay that's
hysterical but fine got it uh I was also
told that you need to be an [ __ ] if
you want to get laid it's not that it's
confidence but so literally I'm not
joking let's say I learned that at 5:00
p.m. on a Wednesday night uh by 5:00
p.m. on Thursday I was able to get laid
it was hysterical it makes that much of
a difference yeah from one day to the
next because you actually now have the
unlock oh I get it I can't have fear of
loss yeah and once I was like oh I can't
have fear of loss like I just have to be
like uh this is who I am if you're
interested great and if not then you'll
walk away and so I literally tried it as
an experiment I'm not kidding instant
yes and so I was like this is hysterical
so this is what I talk about predictive
validity when you have figured out the
thing that is true then it will meet the
real world and it will actually work so
anyway people just need to understand
what their goal is what they're trying
to achieve and then build a rule set
that's actually going to get them there
but they also need to know what their
values are yeah values are tied to how
you believe the world ought to be and so
that you'll respect yourself when you're
by yourself but here's what I would say
to people your values are not what you
think it's what you do so many people
will think my values are I want somebody
traditional I've got values I want a
successful man or whatever it is but
what do you do in your real world who do
you actually connect with who do you
actually reward don't base your values
on what you think are is going on what
do you actually do now if your values
are that you reward men who pull away
from you you're always chasing after men
or you're always going for the guy
that's super attractive and got lots of
girls but then doesn't give you
attention you have to be honest with
yourself is what do I actually value
well I don't value commitment and
responsibility from Men I'm actually
valuing this where people get wrong is
they edit their values mentally but not
actually in terms of behavior so
mentally they'll say they've got all
these great values if you speak to
everybody they'll say I want this that
and the other and they say it well but
try and derive your values as almost do
an invent of your actual behaviors and
who you've been rewarding in your past
who have you falling in love with what
are your patterns who have you rejected
and that shows you what your values
actually are not what you think they are
don't airbrush your values just to sound
like you're looking for someone great
who you actually rewarding and if you do
an inventory of your past relationships
and you realize that I've always said no
to guys that are actually very kind I've
always been very attached to men that
are toxic and you know unavailable I
kind of always attached to men who are
following a bunch of bikini girls online
and so your values are a bit like
they're not consistent that your values
are you're looking for somebody who
deprives you of the commitment and
connection now that you know your value
you can either change it or accept it
but don't delude yourself into thinking
you've got the right values when you're
in the dating pool because that will
have you confused because you'll think
you're doing nothing wrong and you just
can't find the right guy but it's not
that you're doing nothing wrong and you
can't find the right guy it's because
you're rewarding the wrong and then
assuming you still want the right
guy yeah getting your values right Liv
according to yeah look at your behaviors
they'll tell you your values I can say
I'm really healthy but I never go to the
gym and I don't eat healthy that means
I'm not so what you're saying has to be
in line with what you're doing for it to
be a value yes uh and if you live out of
alignment even with your stated values
you're going to lose respect for
yourself that's where integrity and
self-respect end up coming from um if
you encounter somebody who doesn't want
you and that breaks you and you can't
bear to walk away and now you're trying
to convince cajo whatever that only
further makes you seem weak and horrible
I mean it's just that's such a spiral oh
God it's gonna make you feel worse I'm
so surprised the pharmaceutical industry
hasn't invented a pill for self-esteem
because they have it's called
alcohol really yeah of course does that
give you self-esteem or confidence uh it
gives you confidence but confidence is
the thing that you want from self-esteem
if you had high self-esteem and you were
just anxious you'd be like self-esteem
is meaningless so it really is
confidence is that byproduct because I
feel like confidence can just mean your
ability to do a task but self-esteem is
more your ability to understand what you
deserve in life confidence is feeling
good because you can do a task yeah so
it's like you're walking in and like you
know I'm going to be able to handle this
that is a really awesome feeling yeah uh
and it's an intoxicating feeling on the
other side for a woman who's like oh I
like the way this feels a person could
be playful they can hold that tension
but really yes there a reason that
alcohol has been a social lubricant for
thousands of years uh I think it's as
old if not older than the Bible itself
imag and
mentioned yeah we turn water right into
that one but I don't want to leave this
idea of okay what what is broken yeah
who's to blame in the sense of if we can
actually identify the issue then we can
back out of it so I'm gonna ask you the
same question but from a an oblique
angle here okay so who's to blame if
somebody's fat the fat person or the
food industry
microplast environment culture Etc I
would say you know the porn industry is
very much responsible for destroying the
masculinity of men and making them
unappealing I would say the porn
industry is very much dedicated its life
to um kind of hijacking children from a
very young age and then turning them
into addicts by the time they're
teenagers and then turns them into
consumers of uh PR ution as adults it
kind of goes in that order and um so I
believe that the porn industry is very
much you know highly responsible for it
but I also think it's a culture where
we've replaced kind
of there seems to be nothing else left
to for people to feel part of a group
anymore there isn't any male groups the
way they used to be there isn't tribal
experiences for men so their only way to
feel the kind of um Euphoria is now just
limited to sex I don't if there's as
many tribes or is there as many problem
solving going on in society I would
imagine when life was more difficult men
would have to be problem solvers and
that kind of boost of ego that you get
for every problem you solve is now
replaced by technology so the only boost
that's left available is either food or
you know pornography or just your basic
primitive needs so I think that is also
a lack of um just tribes in general and
problem solving life is just a bit too
comfortable and easy for men and women
but I think it has a more detrimental
effect on the psychology of a man when
life is too easy and is too comfortable
that that's very interesting and very
insightful um I want to pin you down
though if somebody's fat whose fault is
it there's yeah I think you you still
have a choice and and and your choices
can be inhibited by you know your U the
original wounds of your trauma it can be
inhibited by the the parents and the
role models you've got some people have
are left with really really bad start to
life so they believe their choices are
limited but doesn't mean their choices
actually are limited so you might have
really terrible parents where they just
feed you endless rubbish they are really
overweight so they don't role model how
to be you know how to be effective your
school dinners might be unhealthy I
understand all of that so your choices
do get more limited but there's still a
choice it's limited and it's difficult
but there's still a choice what would
you
say um so this is interesting I've gone
on such a journey with my thoughts on
Obesity that I have a feeling it mirrors
some of the journey that you've been on
um but you may be at a
midpoint uh so here's the journey that I
went on so I grew up in a morbidly obese
family and I was able to escape that and
I was able to escape that by taking just
unrelenting control of what I put in my
mouth and so I was like oh you can solve
this problem and I used to loop around a
very simple idea there were no obese
people in aitz now I know how much that
makes people angry but I needed to run a
thought exercise to find out is this
really a thing where some people just
can't lose the weight or is this really
if you reduce your calories enough that
you will lose fat okay so so genetically
you had there was obesity in your family
oh yes so there is a predisposition 100%
so that's where I start right hey this
is just a calorie problem if you reduce
your calories enough you will lose
weight that is a true statement and so
it's very easy to stop there and say oh
then you're to blame I was able to do it
and you're to blame then I went into
okay I really do understand that this is
extremely hard for people for reasons
that are out of their control so for
instance uh a hundred years ago
virtually nobody grew up fat yeah so
something has happened now to make that
a problem so 100 years ago virtually
nobody would be addicted to pornography
it just be too it existed but it would
be so hard to get a hold of that you're
not going to be obese calories used to
be hard to come by food was not
engineered by the most brilliant
scientist in the world to be literally
perfect for triggering you to overeat
they weren't as cheap and so we really
have done things including just
arranging our metabolism by there being
microplastics in the food the food being
made from horrendous ingredients
disrupting the microbiome I mean just on
and on and on and so as I went through
this journey at first I was like hey
just eat less like I love you no there's
no moral judgment but you you really can
do this then I went to ooh like maybe
people really are stuck and just in a
terrible system and now I'm at you are
in a terrible system you are in a
problem not of your own making CU this
would have started when you were a kid
and all that but only you can get you
out of this problem and so that's the
message that I I want guys to hear yeah
hey you're in a bad situation absolutely
I don't think because of your like you
didn't start the cultural momentum that
has led us to this moment and everything
you've detailed I think is all accurate
but no one person is to blame for any of
that but they're the only ones that can
solve the problem for them and so then
it starts to get very interesting in
terms of how you look at the world and
where all of this goes yeah um so okay
you circle around porn a lot so what
what is it about porn is it shaping the
brain at a young age and then that has
knun effects what is it about porn it's
um destroying the selection process of
men it's dehumanizing their selection
process and then they're so devastated
when their women have have no respect
for them have cheated on them and d and
left them with with all their money and
now lives with their new boyfriend but
they don't realize it all stemms from
their poor selection and their poor
selection all came from pornography I
did a video recently where I explained
that I'll have men who might live in the
states or might live in India or
something like that but they are fixated
on being with a young Colombian girl or
a young Thai girl or a young girl from
you know um Ukraine who's half their age
a quarter of their age and speaks a
completely different language but
they're like that's my type and and I
just thought to myself how and I I kept
hearing it and I was like thinking to
myself how do you have anything in
common with a girl in like from this
culture and doesn't speak the same
language and is very young how is that
your type and he's like I've just always
been attracted to it and I was like but
then Therefore your attraction is based
entirely physically and nothing to do
with reciprocity like she's also
attracted to me and no other form of
connection is important to you so you
have reduced women down to a vagina and
you just a vagina with a particular
color size this and the other and age is
now put it but that's what you've
reduced it down to that can't happen if
you had constant real life experience
with women because you'd learn that
women you know yes they're beautiful and
they're sexy but they're also you know
they're human they they bleed and they
you know they go to the bathroom and if
you live with a woman you know that you
know there's her times of the months
there so many messy non ual things about
them that it makes it difficult to
attach them purely on sex because that
part of it will always kind of decrease
over years but the fact that they can
select purely on that means something
has hijacked their preferences and
that's why I think it all bers down to
selection so they'll come to me and
they'll say I'm oh please I want you to
speak to my ex-wife she's such a gold
digger just like the girls you describe
and I like okay tell me a little bit
about her oh I met her you know she used
to be a webcam girl and we fell in love
and um I met her and she you know I left
my wife and kids and then I gave her
everything and then she's so ungrateful
and I said no she knows an idiot when
she sees one and she did the exact right
thing I would do I would high-five her
she's found someone dumb enough to leave
his wife and kids because you showed a
bit of nipple and you're half his age
you deserve everything that comes to you
because the stupidity will get you
nowhere in the long run I'm you got no
sympathy for me whereas if it was I
chose a really good woman we grew up
together then things happen and it
turned out to go wrong that's a
different level of empathy I have for
you because you you went in with the
right intentions but in this case you
didn't go in with the right intentions I
can't reward bad intentions with
sympathy so um I for I digress but
essentially what I would say is it's
caused them to completely annihilate
good selection when it comes to
selecting a partner and therefore the
family unit is now breaking down going
back to the selection process and what
pornography is doing to it um are you
saying that it's it is um a stimuli that
is coming to somebody as their brain is
developing it creates a hyper not to get
too fancy here but a hyper dopaminergic
feedback loop where it they're now
associating um all of their female
focused pleasure around the sexual
aspect of a woman exactly they have um
only one definition of intimacy left
which is sexual they don't understand
that there's pleasure associated with
having a woman that's going to be there
when you're in hospital we're ready with
some grapes or there's a woman you know
that's going to be home to watch Judge
Judy before bed they're replacing that
form of intimacy with only one
definition of intimacy who arouses me
the best who can who stimulates me the
most they don't actually their arousal
comes purely from one form of intimacy
and they ignore the importance of
emotional intellectual and spiritual
intimacy entirely and I understand why
because what the porn does is just like
kind of get their senses in a choke hold
so it's difficult to imagine how nice it
is to have a wife that you can walk to
the shops with and you have nice
conversations on the way back when you
think I can have this beautiful you know
super model um talk to me in any
language and take a clothes of it
they're like oh it's an obvious thing
like but to worship vagina over intimacy
just seems like how can we respect men
in this generation if this is what
they're doing and this is what they're
paying for and they'll deny it every
single one of them like we don't do that
we don't do that then why are there
billions and billions of streams of
pornography why is every only fan
Creator makes more money than most women
on this planet I am a I can say this in
a very privileged position I am a
content creator I no man is ever
messaging me saying here's $10,000 thank
you so much you've helped me but if I
had pictures of my feet online I would
get that all day every day so let's
let's just take away the pretense that
that doesn't happen it does happen how
do we get rid of it rather than
pretending it doesn't exist yeah wow
okay I feel I feel like I'm angry today
am I angry am I giving angry Vibes
you're not giving angry Vibes at all but
I what I did right as I'm taking notes
Here is you're getting jaded I
am accurate word and you've probably
seen a complete change from last time
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last time I SP you spoke to me and
anybody who spoke to me a year ago would
have said it's so refreshing to see an
advocate for men coming in a female form
because I am that that is genuinely my
intention I have a wonderful part
partner I have a wonderful father I have
a wonderful like men in my life I've
always had great relationships but I
forgot that I have high quality men in
my life they have a completely different
perspective of women when you speak to
the majority of men what's caused me to
become jaded is I realize that they come
to me again and again that they've been
hurt and naturally before I'd be on
their side like what is she like a
sister almost like a sister what has she
done to you and then every time I trace
it back I'm like why were you so
obsessed with her oh it always comes
back to the sex and they risk everything
for it so now I'm just like you know
they'll come to me and they'll say look
I think I've got an anxious attachment I
think I've got this anxiety I can't stop
thinking about this one girl and I say
to was she the best sex you had yeah but
that's not why I loved her I was like
tell me something else you liked about
her well she was quite rude and she
never used to answer my calls I like
that's what that's what it is okay bye
and that's what the phone call looks
like now isn't that terrible uh it's
indicative of the moment that we're in
it may though be overly indicative of
you as a therapist that is helping
people through these problems tin yeah
so you're there's a selection bias here
there the people that fit that profile
are going to come to you especially
because you really did make a name for
yourself as like hey guys I understand
you I understand how we've ended up in
this situation um and that was really my
intention it really was and I and I
remember constantly saying to women why
don't you cook for your husband it's
such a joy in cooking for your husband
or why don't you just why doesn't it
make you feel happy when you iron his
clothes and you know he's got work and
why doesn't it make you feel good and I
would realize that I'm always giving
that advice but I didn't realize that
the route for the appreciation has to
come sexual first and I'm leared that
over the year is you can do all of that
but until there that part is not tapped
in because I've met some very good women
who have said to me but I do all of this
and he would vouch for it that I do
everything but he just says to me he
can't be sexually loyal he just says to
me I don't know why I'm shocked by that
I've heard that before but it's still
scandalous to me I can't be sexually
loyal uh okay that is
um that is a thing but they can be loyal
in the sense that they'll stay with you
forever but they want her to believe
that this is just how men are designed
and I don't it is how men are designed
but what does that have to do with the
relationship okay we're going to come
back to that yeah uh okay I'm tracking
now the transition where okay you're in
the ring every day helping men and women
overcome this issue uh of all the
derangements that have come from apps
pornography the modern world the pill
sexual Liberation um the UN the the just
complete obliteration of traditional
Norms around sex uh which I think guys
would have all said this is only good we
want to rush in that direction um and
now we're seeing that there are second
and third order consequences that are
not IDE
uh but I would like to know what's the
role of women in all of this um what's
happened is women can they can really
manipulate this they have learned tricks
that can really manipulate this now espe
particularly if they grew up without a
father when you grow up with a mom who's
a wife she doesn't know these tricks she
doesn't know that this is how men
operate but when you when your mother's
also leared this or she's become like
this she's understood this trick what's
happened is women can go in two
direction CS they either believe men on
the surface and say I want to be a
really good girl I'm not going to be
this girl I'm going to I'm going to try
and differentiate Myself by being a
traditional woman and so she takes on
the role of just being that woman that
just wants to get married settle down
she's not priscu she's not really good
she actually avoids sexual contact with
too many people she wants she wants to
get married um but what will happen is
the women on the other end will say
listen you might end up married I might
end up married we're both probably going
to end up divorced but I'll end up
Divorced with a really successful man
you're going to end up divorced and
you're going to be paying his bills and
so the promiscuous women have learned
the tricks a lot better because when you
speak to the average earner chances are
he's going to be with an average woman
who's not you know an only fans models
but when you speak to men who are in the
Millionaires and billionaires range they
only go for women who are like this they
they select this and this is what scared
me the most I think this is where I
became a bit jaded is I as I as I
increased my popularity online naturally
my prices increased so I used to be
dealing with my I was like $50 an hour
at one point when I first so I was
dealing with the average man who comes
home from work and has the average
problem as I started dealing with the
more successful man As I Grew and I
started dealing with more successful men
I learned very quickly successful men
particularly if they had money young and
they they reward the worst women they
reward women who even when you look at
rappers if you look at like you know
rappers and like who have both money and
uh you know looks usually they you to
take care of themselves they Drake has a
baby with a porn star they'll be married
to dancers and strippers so you learn
that if you want the top top range of
men they don't look at any of those
qualities cuz they can Outsource that
they can Outsource somebody to cook for
them they can Outsource somebody to IR
to them and one thing I learned from
working with very successful men is they
said to me a lot of the time they said
to me well I don't care if she can't
speak English when I come home from a
busy day and I've been working all day
all I care about is she's young and hot
and she has sex I don't care about
anything else so the busier they get the
less vetting they need because they're
only looking for one item from their
partner because they're too busy they
don't have the time to have this really
intellectual conversation at the end of
the day they just want to get to bed so
as they get busier the requirement
decreases so what's happening is we're
rewarding the worst women in the world
is they're getting the top end of If
you're looking at your financial terms
they'll be more likely to access that
higher end man and I know you're a
complete anomaly to this so it sounds
like a completely bizarre but that's
unfortunately what it looks like from my
perspective yeah that's uh I mean this
is a very intractable it's not
intractable we will find our way out of
this and I think it's it's going to
start happening over the next three
years but I feel like you actually are
on to a thing that's real um okay I want
to keep pushing down the road of what
the role of women is so um I think the
pill yeah is the nuclear bomb that
actually went off yeah I agree and I
don't think people understand that we're
living in the nuclear fallout and that
there is a level of Devastation that
people have not accurately pinpointed to
this problem now before I can go down
that road I have to first say that um I
have a whole thesis
around we all think we want to remove
limitations all of science is basically
trying to remove limitations and make
the formerly impossible possible we
celebrate that and rightly so but we're
living at a moment in time where we're
now being able to strip limitations that
we probably shouldn't strip exactly and
so talk to me about women's role in
sexual Liberation both from a a
moralistic drive where they were
marching in the streets for their right
to essentially be more promiscuous like
men um taking the pill which my wife was
on the pill for ages God bless the pill
I'm so grateful it's how we avoided
having children uh which will certainly
get into the importance of family and
whether I'm a fool for not having one
well I think what happens is we've now
completely eliminated with sex with its
primary role which is reproduction and
as a result we can just give sex freely
and we can drop our standards freely as
women when we knew that we if we sleep
with a man there's a potential of having
his baby we were far more selective and
that's what sex should be it should be a
very very selective process and think is
his genes good enough it might is he
worth risking dying for because that's
what child birth used to be now what um
what the contraceptive pill did is give
them the same kind of um mindset towards
sex as men have and I'm not saying
they've got it right either like I'm but
I'm just saying in general both men and
women have become so laxed with who they
sleep with and as a result they have
kids with the wrong people and therefore
it just means that there's no families
left because we're having kids with the
person that we slept with the most
rather than the person that we actually
valued and respected the most and
therefore kids are being born out of two
people who didn't actually have any
fundamental love and respect for each
other but they're now co-parenting in
the best case scenario worst case
scenario they're not even co-parenting
and therefore we've got remnants of two
very um two parents that had no self
self-control and that's in the form of
children and they're the ones that
suffer so I think the contraceptive
feels been awful for women but also the
one thing I would say is women cannot
take criticism anymore it's like they
are incapable of it and that's one of
the reasons why I get so much negativity
online from women is any form they can
worship me I'll have women that will
worship me one minute the moment I say
that but you know you should share
custody and you should never deprive men
of their father because they need or
children of their father they need their
father regardless be cheated on you or
it's not it's got nothing to do with the
child then they'll launch a campaign so
any
criticism towards a woman is just
completely completely shut down so I
think the inability to hear any
criticism I don't know if that's a new
thing but this just seems like they just
can't hear an alternative perspective
anymore and I don't know have you
noticed that with women as well like
they find difficult to hear an
alternative perspective uh I have
noticed that the internet likes to argue
yeah and when I approach the internet as
a fight it makes sense when I approach
the internet as a place that will
welcome new ideas that are designed to
improve their life it's very confusing
oh yeah you have to have that mentality
with it then yeah so I have a feeling
that just being on social media you're
going to get that but there there is an
amplitude of reaction to you that I find
very surprising yeah um and this goes
back to a core belief that I have which
is I will take a good idea from wherever
it comes yeah um I will inevitably see
in the comments here and then people for
a while after the interview will follow
me in lives on Instagram things like
that like oh my God like you don't even
know her qualifications they're not
legitimate I want to be very clear I've
looked into your background and know
exactly what they are if if you had no
qualifications had never even taken a
class in um psychology I wouldn't care I
just want to know is there
predictive validity to the things you
say meaning if I adopt your belief
system am I able to predict more of the
world or less of the world if more idea
is good if less idea is bad it's just
not near ground truth um so I a big
proponent of taking in ideas so there
there I wouldn't say that I've noticed
that women can't take criticism anymore
I will just say that women have now
entered The Fray of fighting online and
so and because they're highly verbal
it's going to be a pretty wicked fate
and they H they really really pretend
that they girls girls this is the thing
with the the comments and the the belief
system amongst these women is they have
this empty Banner that we're girls girls
we're girls girls but what they re
forget to realize is that women only
support women that they're not
threatened by simple as that the moment
there's an element of threat they will
not support that woman or they'll
support women that they feel that
they're similar to it's not a blanket
statement so when they say they're girls
girls particularly I get a lot of
backlash from sometimes only fans
creators and they're like she's not a
girls girl she's not a girls girl I'm
like what could be less of a girls girl
than a woman who has her boobs on your
husband's screen every day if you're a
true girls girl you would feel so
uncomfortable that you're contributing
to a culture where men are sneaking away
from their wives making their wives feel
so ugly because they would rather watch
you play with yourself online than
actually connect with their wife how can
you be a girls girl when you're
contributing to that in other people's
marriages and other women are suffering
as a result so this whole girls girls
concept I've never understood firstly
because it's not true secondly because
why are we allowed to have this
particular bias if I said to you I'm a
white people's white person or I'm a
black person's black person that would
make no sense because why are you on the
side of the person who's similar to you
on an arbitrary role you should be on
the side of the person that has who you
believe is more correct or the person
that has most sense so this whole girls
girls attitude is what something that
you know I now I feel like I'm going to
be left in the dust because the men are
going to hate me and the women are going
to hate me so it's going to be like an
equ level they can all just vond over
how much they hate me but it's just
human nature is human nature and I I
really do think my work as a therapist
and before I was so limited to just the
people in my area and just the people
around me it was easy like it was just
like people I kind of knew and I
understood when you're open to the world
and you're treating the world and you're
treating people in the top levels of
what they're going through you start to
get a little bit jaded like I I feel
like I sound jaded I feel Jaded by
myself I actually feel it so I'm Jaded
by women's reaction to self-help they
just don't want self-help they just want
reiteration of what they believe is true
so they just want me to say your ex is a
narcissist that's the only sentence they
want to hear he was a narcissist
gaslighting breadcrumbing the buzzword
when you say something like no no
there's no such thing as a narc I
actually go around saying there's no
such thing as a narcissist I believe
that there are people who are Perpetual
victims and they like to find anyone
that will abuse them and attach to them
endlessly and so that they claim can
claim that title as a victim forever and
I believe that's a form of narcissism
cuz that way you don't have to improve
and you can just stay the way you are
and take no accountability you attach to
people who abuse you and therefore you
can remain a victim for the rest of your
life and never improve and that's no
nothing's more narcissistic than that
all right we we've got some some black
pill in the house
today got a B I wouldn't like to say
that I'm black pill I don't know if I'm
just because I haven't spoken in a long
time if I haven't been on a podcast for
a long time but I'm very I feel and know
I don't know if I'm just a bit Moody but
am I coming across negative uh you are
coming
here here's the thing I remind my team
of this all the time the truth is an
absolute defense so if you're saying
what you actually believe to be true
then we're good so uh look we we'll keep
working through all this map out the
thinking where things are broken we'll
get to how we get to the other side
which I know is your heart and soul um
but I think I think it is important to
confront where we are culturally yeah
and I really believe right now people
can feel something is broken yeah and
for us to navigate the path forward we
have to be honest about where we are now
if anything that you've said today isn't
true then you're going to want to update
your beliefs so that there's more
predictive validity to the things that
you're saying um so far I don't detect
any obvious landmines other than it will
be very important for us to walk through
the way out right because they're from
where I'm sitting anyway there is a way
out there is a way to navigate this m
there is a way to bring culture back
around but you know somebody like you
who's not religious or not really like
you know wouldn't say you're got any
beliefs like you know traditional in
that way um what makes you want to lean
into or do you want to lean into a more
traditional lifestyle or like do you
think culture should shift more
traditional I think people should do
whatever they have to do in order to
achieve human flourishing and at
sometimes that is to progress and at
other times it is to hold tight to
what's already working so I'm not
religious but what I believe about
religion is
that religion is a set of ideas that
have proven over a very long period of
time to make people's lives better on
mass and by tying it to a sense of God
something bigger than you somebody that
loves you forgives your sins all that
kind of stuff um that that is the way to
make those ideas spread through the
medium of religion to people of all
intellectual um capacities and so
whether you are um struggling
intellectually or you are the smartest
person in the world like religion is
going to work for people across that
entire bandwidth so that's why I think
religion has withstood the test of time
for sure for sure so you said in our
last interview you're like in some ways
you're I can't remember more religious
or more Muslim than and I the reason
that I sound like that is because I am
obsessed with one thing and one thing
only and that is efficacy does it work
okay work towards what for me my North
Star is human flourishing so certainly
my own and others so I just want to know
what's true so when I look out at the
world and people younger than me um I
see a lot of pain I see a broken system
I see a a romance environment that
reminds me of the food environment in
America that there is just all these
things that are deranging it including
one of my favorite things in the world
capital
I think capitalism is amazing um why why
do you think that because it is the way
to increase uh human flourishing by way
of um increased productivity and
increased Freedom so if you do you think
that it can cause people to worship
money just a bit like her yeah of course
so look there there are no Solutions
there are only trade-offs so says my
hero Thomas Soul so I know nothing is
perfect certainly not capitalism and if
uh I think Winston Churchill said uh
capitalism is a terrible system it's
just the best terrible system that we
have yeah and I think that's the right
way to look at it like capitalism has
pulled more people out of poverty than
anything else in human history it's
created more freedom more flourishing
than any other system in the world don't
get me going on my diet tribe about
authoritarian regimes and communism and
socialism that [ __ ] just kills literally
millions if not 100 plus million people
it's it's absolute insanity and I'm I'm
happy to take take the Pepsi Challenge
from a historical perspective with
anybody that feels different um so going
back to uh we are going to need to
re-anchor our values it needs to be
around something that works um and the
thing that works is going to be
something that has withstood the test of
time so it's going to sound a little
traditional but that's only because
we've swung so far in the opposite
direction I would say that capitalism is
the Baseline of what's made society so
mentally distroy
I would say the capitalist belief that
you know make as much money as possible
okay with women how do we make as much
money as possible Aesthetics is a great
way to make loads of money so why don't
we and IVF is another great way so why
don't we just tell and pharmaceutical so
why don't we just tell them to delay
getting married delay having kids so
they'll have to use loads of
pharmaceuticals when it comes to that
also let's tell them that they're ugly
from early let's let them know that
they're as ugly as possible so that they
will go and buy every product and
they'll do every surgery and they'll do
everything like that and that has to be
a capitalist driven society that pushes
that mentality on women similarly with
men it's like we know that pornography
and all these things are terrible for
them but what does capitalism do it's
like let's get them addicted to the
their phones how do we get them addicted
to their phones let's put games on there
let's start with games on there then
let's just put popups of beautiful girls
that they just have to happen to click
on when they're eight nine years old
then by the time they're 17 18 they'll
be hooked on it they got credit cards by
then and we got them so the Baseline
between behind the moral failure of
society I would say is linked to
capitalism okay we're going to go down
go down the road here I'm going to set
my pen down uh okay so again it's the
best of the worst systems because
there's no question that it will derange
in a couple ways one that all power law
distributions tell you that a very small
number of people are going to make all
the gains because money really is a game
that you can win and lose and so in any
game where you can win and lose you're
going to have people that are better at
it than others and they're going to
collect all the resources and you're
going to get a very terrifying thing
that happens which is the Divide between
the halves and the Have Nots and there
is a I don't know if it's called a law
but the thing called the jny coefficient
and when the jny coefficient meaning the
ratio of poor to wealthy when that
divide gets too big uh you will almost
certainly have War uh a revolution blood
is going to be shed as a punchline and
so you're going to yeah it's
unsustainable you just there will need
to be a re Equalization of that playing
field otherwise just all bad and so you
get this sort of grand debt cycle can
read ralo for a breakdown of that
probably outside the scope of this
interview um but just know everybody
that history moves in um it's not a an
exact Circle but man is it close there
are things that make it just so
predictable uh because the human mind
works in a certain way and therefore
history and the future are going to
rhyme there's going to be a lot of
similarities okay so capitalism deeply
flawed system so you morally flawed I
wouldn't say financially flawed I would
say morally and which then has an impact
on psychology I think moral failure
leads to psychological failure okay well
then let me ask which is more morally
flawed capitalism or communism well I
would say look here's the thing I I
don't know and I like to make it very
clear when I don't know something I
don't know enough about communism but as
a mentality knowing that there's some
level of distribution of wealth I just
think is an is a healthier mentality
than one where it's like one man every
man for themselves what I find really
difficult about capitalism is the idea
that there is no Society left it's just
every man for themselves the one% other
the 1% the others can just rot in hell
and that's how the mentality that is
cultured in capitalism communism I don't
know enough about but the mentality of
equal distribution just seems like a
better mentality to put into children or
into your own mind yeah there is a
reason that uh people are drawn to
communism so Thomas who I mentioned
earlier anybody that follows me for my
financial content will probably know who
he is uh he's an economist just an
absolutely extraordinary thinker
absolutely uh how about this I wish I
were half as smart as Thomas absolutely
brilliant man um but he started out as a
socialist for sure maybe all the way to
full communism and then when anybody
asks hey why did you abandon the system
he said I went to work for the
government and always gets a big laugh
yeah and what he means by that is that
he saw the just freakish level of
inefficiency right so what ends up
happening and and I'll use an analogy
that will while be absurd it will point
out the flaws in the system is beauty
equally distributed no okay would it be
nice if it were absolutely okay should I
go and scratch the faces of the
beautiful to even the playing field out
no okay so that's essentially what give
procedures to the less attractive if we
were playing that analogy okay so but
now the question becomes how do you get
people to do those surgeries you have to
pay them right so you need doctors that
spend inordinate amount of time getting
good at their thing they've got to be
paid well so now how are we going to pay
those doctors to do those procedures
right we're going to redistribute wealth
right we're going to tax people of
course like you should tax why would you
not tax Tom this is why you have to
redistribute wealth from the crazy
1centers like Elon Musk who just have
this imaginable amount of wealth come on
let's get it down to these people I
don't know if we want to spend it on
beauty but sure as a thought exercise
let's do it okay cool so now we're going
to take money from that person and say
hey even though you've shown that you
are one of the greatest capital
allocators on planet Earth that nobody
living right now is better than Elon
Musk Jeff Bezos at giving the world
something they want so badly that people
shovel money into their bank account
let's remember they didn't steal money
they create a thing Amazon Tesla
whatever that people want so badly that
they're willing to either invest their
money in their company or buy their
products whatever and these guys amass
money by doing a thing that people
wanted them to do and so now we're going
to say hey Bozo you don't know what to
do with your money so why don't you give
me a huge portion of your money and let
me decide to distribute it and make all
of those decisions but my question if I
was to give an analogy my analogy would
be let's say we take a tribe of monkeys
and they they're all like one tribe they
all need to survive they're One Tribe of
monkeys and they find one big banana
tree and one of them decides he's going
to take every single banana that has
hoard it can't even finish it and give
the rest of them half a banana to share
amongst themselves would that tribe
survive and and really what we would do
is look at that monkey that's hoarding
those millions of bananas not giving any
of it to anybody else and you know we
would have probably study that monkey in
in a lab and think how did you become
such a psychopath do you know what
happens to that monkey in real life
they're on the cover of FS no no no no
you're making you're making a mistake so
uh the monkey yeah that kind of monkey
that rules through tyrannical force that
is inequitable in what they give to
people will get destroyed they will that
monkey convince them that listen you're
going to want me to have this because
what like you you're going to that one
piece I'm going to give you is so so
valuable what if they did it in what
country does that describe oh you said
ethical I'm going to set that aside for
a second I wouldn't say Des descries a
country I would describe it a person I
would to me descri North Korea so we'll
start there so North Korea by the way
can I preface that I'm not very versed
in this push back so I mean one you'll
either help me find the edge of my own
thinking and I will update and be the
wiser for it um or hopefully the
audience will at least enjoy the journey
so uh let's go back to the monkey just
to take one piece at a time uh any
monkey that Rules by force ends up
getting destroyed by a couple people
lower down in the hierarchy and you
realize to build a stable monkey troop
you have to have um a coalition so you
yes you can rule by force but it's
usually going to be a very short tenure
you're way better off doing favors for
people making sure that your troop is
well taken care of what if he didn't
rule by force what if he said look you
guys take the leaves of the tree I
promise you you're going to like the
leaves right I'm going to take all the
bananas you guys just eat the leaves for
a little while you'll be fine don't
worry about it you'll be fine and
they're like oh okay how do we invest in
you so that you can carry on you guys
just have to make a shield around me so
that nobody else can touch my bananas
you think you're describing America or
the west but you're describing North
Korea no no I think I'm Des I think I'm
describing Jeff Bezos and I think I'm
describing Elon Musk I think I'm
describing the people that have I don't
know what kind of mindset it takes to
have an desire to allocate or to uh
collect so much money that you
physically can't complete in any of your
lifetimes when you know there's people
starving I know that sounds very like
woo wo but there are human beings
starving now when we put Power and
status and you know capitalism because I
created the iPhone so therefore I have
the right to have a billion times more
money than you I'm telling you as a
woman that makes more money than I
should I don't I'm not a millionaire by
any stand but I still think you know
relatively it's you're speaking to
people that's essentially what you're
doing I would say that generally I don't
work it's not humanly possible to work
hard enough in your lifetime to earn a
billion because you can't one person is
not capable of that there's not that
level of hard work Associated it's not
possible to work hard enough to have a
billion it's just you have to work smart
enough to find something people want
enough and then exploit their desires
nobody knew they needed an iPhone until
you know so we were told we needed it
then we didn't know that we need to
change it in our adapters and our cable
wires until they changed it then we
didn't know we needed updates until they
changed it they tell us what we want and
then pretend we're the ones that are
dying for this updates and we're dying
for the iPhone you've just got us hooked
I don't think they created anything the
world was dying to have I was not dying
to have Amazon I love it now I wasn't
dying to have an iPhone I love it now
but that's because they gave us no
Alternatives they created a market where
we became a slave to what they produced
rather than they produced something
we're dying to have okay uh I think
there is a flaw in your logic and so I
want to go back to our monkey who is
convincing the tribe that hey I'm going
to take the bananas but you're going to
get the leaves yeah leaves are going to
be amazing you're going to love them the
most and and in fact God wants you to
have the leaves and he wants me to have
the bananas or maybe I am the
representative of God here on Earth
right this is why dictators normally get
rid of religion so that they can be the
sole Focus uh what ends up happening is
you get slapped around by reality right
so that person ends up running North
Korea and people start going um sorry
sir hold on really fast uh you having
the bananas they have a higher glucose
content it's it's got way more calories
so we're actually starving to death by
eating the leaves so we're going to need
to have some of those bananas or we're
going to start dying uh would somebody
please kill him really fast because I
can't have anybody saying that and so
all the sudden to make sure that they
can monopolize the bananas they start
killing people this is top- down
authoritarian rule 101 you kill the
centers that's why that description
doesn't become Elon Musk it becomes
North Korea I'll get to it because I
know you really want me to address what
what's happening with a I don't know if
you call them a sociopath but you're
like I want to study their brains these
Elon Musk these Jeff Bezos like what the
hell BS of the world yes so one let's
all remember I think capitalism is a
flawed system I just think it's the best
of the flawed because it doesn't require
Force so that's like my core thesis
pychological Force though o I will
address psychologic Warfare uh it's a
bigger Warfare yeah absolutely okay so
um because it's it's a discret you don't
realize it's going on so there is no you
can't consent do you know what the red
famine is no I don't well I I hope that
the red famine um makes you feel a
little bit differently about
psychological Force which is a very
interesting concept and while we don't
agree on the word Force I Will consent
to it for the sake of this discussion uh
okay so let's say psychological Force
you really are being manipulated and
bent into doing these things okay so we
have one system that leverages that yeah
and then we have Russia uh in the 1920s
yeah and Russia in the 1920s decided hey
we just had the Bolshevik Revolution
um we are going to give power back to
the people and we are going to make sure
that none of these farmers are um
holding more than they should yeah and
so they end up calling basically
successful farmers were known as koks
and so they're like these coocks think
they're better than you this is class
Warfare um they've grown up rich and
they're just taking advantage of you
they're exploiting you and so people
were turning them in left right and
center and so they literally go and kill
all the koks they take all their Stu all
their food all their equipment
everything and you could get labeled a
kolok just for having like two horses I
mean it did not take a lot but okay if
you were a more effective farmer which
is why you had a better yield more
horses uh you got killed and so now all
of a sudden what happens is the red
famine you just killed your best Farmers
guess what happens to everybody else
they can't produce enough so guess what
happens everyone starves to death and so
in the red famine you had Parents eating
their own children so I'm saying hey
everybody communis has been tried over
and over and over the bad news is that
there is an element to the human animal
which is this extreme resentment and
people have said of Communists I think
it's a pretty interesting take that it
isn't so much that they love the poor
it's that they absolutely despise the
rich and so as the bar comes down for
who is Rich and you just start killing
killing killing killing killing and I
mean we're talking about tens of
millions in the case of Russia probably
north of 100 million but at least 60 or
70 million in the case of M China it you
Ely get people who go but I have a
better idea and so all of these
countries China Russia what do they end
up doing to try to get back to a strong
position after they absolutely decimate
their country and have people eating
their own children they open back up to
capitalism because what you're saying is
beauty is not evenly distributed
intelligence is not even more dangerous
when we penalize the poor than when we
penalize the rich because the poor have
nothing to lose and they're more lik RK
you're now moving off of psychological
Force onto penalizing the poor when did
we start penalizing the poor well as in
you were saying that he was penalizing
the rich in in Russia they hated the
rich so much so they were destroying the
rich basically and then as a result the
whole society trembled but we live in a
culture where we penalize the poor
indirect because essentially they are
not given the same rights they're more
likely to end up in jail prison they get
look here's the thing I I really
witnessed this a lot in uh lockdown uh
the billionaires were just above the law
for some reason Amazon packages had no
Co but your local bakery store who lives
and breeds like needs their money was
not allowed to open open Uber by top
down Authority or by bottom up
capitalism by by essentially the
government which is basically owned by
you know lobbying and stuff and they
make all the decisions so essentially
your local person who who bread and
butter is their shop had to close down
but Amazon could deliver all day every
day Uber Eats could deliver you could
have all the top people could still do
their what they wanted to do so
essentially what you're doing is you're
still penalizing the poor like they
can't go to get medical care but I'm
sure the top can so we when you when you
kind of deprive the those that have got
nothing to lose you create a society
filled with crime and you create a
society filled with risk-taking and more
likely to use um coping mechanisms
involving drugs so you're more likely to
create societal damage when you penalize
a poor than when you penalize just Jeff
basil or someone uh one I will agree
with that statement I just won't agree
that that's what happened so uh I don't
think you want to penalize anybody I
think that's where we start what we
witnessed in Co was a complete
derangement yeah that was insane
basically from top to bottom yeah
everything about it yep and so at the
time were you really Pro it or did you
kind of spot that this is a bit bizarre
um I spotted that it was bizarre but I
had no frame of reference for it
whatsoever so I felt like I'd been
punched in the head and I was completely
dazed and I was just like I don't know
how to make heads or tail Tales of this
I just know something is broken this
doesn't make sense uh I did not have a
frame of reference for a corrupt
government which I know is just
hopelessly naive but I did not come in I
came in with the de eyes of an 80s
American child who was just like
America's the best uh so I was really
really caught off guard uh so in no way
shape or form do I think that Co was
handled well I think that was an
absolute nightmare of top- down
authoritarian rule which is the whole
thing I'm trying to avoid again I think
capitalism is a deeply flawed system it
is just the best system that we have if
you socialize corporations now you're
really in dangerous territory yeah don't
want to go too far down that path the
only thing um that I will come back to
is psychological Force so uh this idea
of what is worse where we're going for
something more communistic where we're
using authoritarian force or
psychological Force where we manipulate
is that a reasonable word I look here's
the thing I because I'm a I I observe
human behavior and I would always say
that the most dangerous people are those
that manipulate you into thinking that
they mean well when they don't and I'd
Rather somebody stab me from the front
then behind it's almost easier when you
know somebody's a bit crazy than when
they're not and I think governments
where they pretend they've got your best
interest inside when they really haven't
at least you know what they like the
ones that are obviously bad firstly
there's common consensus everyone agrees
that they're obviously bad but also you
can make a choice whether you want to be
part of it or not but when they slowly
manipulate you into thinking that they
got you back I think that makes it takes
away the freedom of choice you don't
realize what you're actually doing so I
think the lack of like in you can't make
an informed judgment with a a government
that creeps their intentions into your
food or into your drugs or into your
Pharmaceuticals you can't make informed
decisions with that whereas one that
says oh you say this I'm going to cut
your hands off so oh God I don't want to
be a part of that I'm going to leave but
one that's like no no no you can do that
you could do that and then bam you're in
jail that I don't I I for me I rather
just know what it is with people with
governments with humans with food with
everything just tell me what it is and
then I can make an informed judgment
good or bad at least I know what I'm
doing
okay so I will agree with you that I
don't want a government being uh
secretive hiding things manipulating
which they do and I would be hardpressed
to believe that there's any government
that doesn't do that uh I just want to
live somewhere where they can't cut my
hands off okay that's uh that's sort of
my i' rather live somewhere where they
might cut my hands off as long as I just
don't do the wrong thing rather than
tell I don't even know what the right or
wrong thing is because they just make up
the rules on the spot that is fair
predictability predictability the rules
you know what you're doing you know when
to leave you know what you can and can't
do but the whole like oh this person's
Above the Law and this is below the law
and you find out when your parents pass
away that they've got taxes on your
inheritance and this I let's just keep
it real I cut my hands over I'd rather
that then you don't tell me anything and
then last minute I get shoved in the
dark so I don't want yeah but to each
their own yeah uh so not defending
either of those systems but thinking
from first principles I'll say anything
that maximizes human flourishing
obviously I think the freedom is a huge
part of that um I have a feeling you're
coming at it from a uh UAE reference
point which which is where I live yep
I'm coming at it from the position of
when countries break authoritarian they
tend to not let you leave the country uh
and so it isn't as simple as oh well I
don't like it so I'm going to leave
anyway we should probably put a pin in
that uh so getting back to um what we
were talking about in terms of uh beauty
is not equally distributed we know that
we're not going to have even outcomes
for people but how does this all begin
to derange people um and what is the
what do women have to I have to own but
what where do they lie in the
responsibility chain it's difficult for
them I I think it's really difficult for
them because they're so indoctrinated
just like our men have been
indoctrinated with pornography women are
indoctrinated with this idea of
liberalism and freedom to the point
where they've lost their own identity
they don't even know they say now it's a
trend like it they'll say like uh
whether it's gender or whether it's
sexual preferences but the real thing
that I've noticed with women is that
they don't even know what their sexual
preferences are anymore they don't know
if they're bisexual if they're straight
if they're this that and the other and
even women are now using women as sexual
objects I know women I know men and
women in relationships and the woman
will go Scout another woman for to spice
up their marriage how have we got to a
society where we're using other women as
a tool to increase the novelty in your
relationship and then you can just throw
away the next day and yet we're claiming
that we are becoming liberal and we have
got women's rights there's nothing more
degrading than using women as a device
to pleasure your husband and then just
throw her out the window the next day
like where is this coming from so I
think what's really hard for women is
what they've told is good for them is
actually the exact opposite I have an
Instagram account which I you know I got
deactivated recently and it had like no
originally it was on like 800,000 they
deactivated it and I knew there was
somebody in meta that was deactivating
air so I spoke to the people on top to
get it back unfortunately for me it
landed in the hands of a woman and I
knew as soon as I saw the name Heidi
tram I knew straight away they're not
going to help me but they said no we
deactivated your account it wasn't done
by meta because you left a comment that
was uh unacceptable and the comment was
um H you guys can women can be [ __ ] men
can be [ __ ] but it's nothing I will
never condone [ __ ] behavior on my page
if you want Liber liberal values you can
have that but on my page I don't condone
people sleeping around and they said
that is insulting people's sexual
preferences so even if you try and have
your own opinion when it comes to
liberate liberal sexual values you're
shut up shut down by even people in
Instagram and meta so I I don't think
there is a way of kind of getting them
to understand that their identity is
being completely destroyed and what
they're told is good for them is
actually the exact opposite what they
told is liberating is actually more and
more objectification of women you're
being told that it's liberating go do
whatever whatever you want no judgment
no judgment but who are you benefiting
when we're telling women that you can be
as sexually liberal as you want the only
person that benefits from that is creepy
men men who have no desire to invest in
you who have no desire to marry you have
no desire to look after you but because
you've been indoctrinated into thinking
it's liberating coming to his house at
3:00 a.m. and then leaving at 3:45 and
not hearing from him the next day you
are now going into the real world with
such low self-esteem but not knowing why
and they keep feeding into the liberal
values that is's actually destroying
their self worth because liberal values
basically what liberal values means is
Hedonism just do whatever you want just
be whatever you want whatever makes you
happy but we as human beings don't
realize what makes you happy and what
makes you respect yourself are not the
same thing it would make me very happy
to eat whatever I want all day every day
but it wouldn't actually help with my
self-respect similarly it would make you
very happy to post whatever you want do
whatever you want sleep with whoever you
want in the moment but you have to have
a vision of how you see yourself in the
future and if you forget that Vision you
will completely Hammer at your own
self-esteem and then they're not I don't
just like I said men have been hijacked
with pornography women have been
hijacked with liberal
values women have been hijacked with
liberal values okay so why isn't it
liberating because essentially
everything that they're told is
liberating is actually catering to the
male
preference what what we told that is
liberating the only thing that we
actually got them to do is we've got
women to start working but you know I
actually love working and there's
nothing wrong with it but essentially it
helps men they don't no longer have to
pay every bill you now contribute to it
it helps companies as well they you you
get paid less than a man but you still
work just as hard you get taxed whatever
it is so it helps that or they might be
told that you can sleep around and you
don't have to have kids you can just
sleep around with as many men as you
want and no one can judge you who does
that benefit what woman benefits from
that we the only people that benefit are
the men that are profiting from it even
when you tell them that you can be that
the shame of being a sex worker has
disappeared no problem but who does it
benefit you now have to contort Your
Existence to a male preference because
if you gain too much weight you're no
longer going to get as many subs or if
you lose too much weight you won't get
as many Subs so instead of being your
own individual you have to think what do
men like and that's what I have to be in
order to get this
liberating existence it's the least
liberating existence there can ever
be if women are able to use use
promiscuity to get men um which is
something that you said earlier yeah
which they do have we not given them a
tool that they can use to given them a
tool to access the men they don't want
because we don't respect the men that we
can manipulate through promiscuity
because if I can manipulate you through
my promiscuity so can she so can she so
can she you are not a man of substance
so yes I might be able to use and abuse
you for a limited period but in the the
long run do I respect you do I want to
be with you can can I be myself with you
can I really show you what my true
intentions are or do I have to be a bit
sneaky I can't can you guide me
absolutely not how can a man that I can
manipulate sexually guide me in any area
of Life I'll be like shut up you don't I
I know how to manipulate you how would
you know what to tell me what to do so
yes you can access men men and you can
access very very very successful men and
get a very great life for yourself but
you can't access true intimacy and
connection with those types of men
because those men don't don't want true
intimacy and connection should people be
able to choose for themselves or do you
think that restrictions should be placed
on people restrictions should always be
placed on people absolutely as long as
the person doing the restrictions has
their best interest in mind I think we
if look I one of the things I been
online and you know I get a lot of
positive but and negative but one of the
positives I always get is sometimes
they'll say to me how do you know all of
this how do you know like where did you
figure this out or how come you're so
traditional where did you get that I
don't necessarily think I'm traditional
I just always had parents that guided me
now if I didn't have that of course if I
had this level of like if I a monopoly
on the internet of course I would use
that for financial gains and I would
just be you know in a a private jet and
doing all these but I had restrictions
growing up now what those restrictions
led to for me personally and not for
everybody for me personally what it
meant is there was a cap on how much I
can IND indulge in my own like desires
there's a cap to it because I would have
parents that would kind of restrict me
so because my selfish desires were
capped because of my restrictions I then
had to think outside of what just makes
me happy in the moment and I had to kind
of find an different identity so I think
if we don't give people any restrictions
where would they draw the line if I gave
a man no no restriction on what type of
woman he wants how do we know what where
does it get to where if we give them
complete utter Freedom similarly if you
give women complete utter freedom of
what they want in out of life most
people will find that they need someone
they need something even if it's not
their parents but it's somebody that
loves them that restricts them they need
some kind of guidance do you think
people need restrictions or
no I think
that restrictions
are Beyond
critical that the sanity will come from
time tested restrictions but I think
people have to be free to choose to be
morons and so it's interesting what I'm
realizing is I think we have a core
disagreement at the level of values yeah
so so what would be one restriction you
think everyone should follow what would
be one law that will lead to human
flourishing well just in your opinion uh
if you want to get to human flourishing
you should restrict your diet massively
okay that's a good one um I don't think
it should be imposed top down and I
think you should be allowed to to eat or
drink yourself to death and if you want
to shoot heroin until you die yeah go
for it um it would not be what I advise
and I'd be very sad to see anybody I
love make that decision but as you were
going I I wrote what I believe which is
give me Li liberty or give me death like
I'm I'm such a 80s American it's but I
think you believe that because you
naturally have self-control that is a
big part of it for sure but I also
believe again norstar human flourishing
I don't think you can have human
flourishing with authoritarian top- down
rule um so I think you can't have human
flourishing with no restrictions we both
agree so now the question becomes not do
we need restrictions we both agree we
need restrictions the question becomes
how do you get the restrictions so well
I I'm going to be biased with that you
know well I'm religious so it's always
going to come from what I believe is
like sent by God because only in in my
personal opinion only um God has our
long-term plan in mind and our actually
cares about our
you know wellbeing everybody else is you
know motivated by either money or power
or something status whereas so for me
I'm going to give a very boring answer
and it's not very interesting but for me
like I I think I mentioned last time I
was just very lucky that my my
perspective and this is something my
partner finds a bit like he thinks I'm
just a bit too gullible but I'm very
lucky that every restriction that's
placed on me through religion even
though I might not follow it like for
example I don't cover my hair I still
agree with every thing and if I don't
agree with anything if I find something
I don't agree with I always just say
well s you've probably misunderstood
what God meant in that moment so I agree
with the no alcohol I agree with the no
sex before marriage I agree with like
you know being modestly dressed I agree
with so many things that I just and now
also another thing that I've learned
which is I wouldn't tell my husband this
but one thing I have learned is I Now
understand why men are allowed more than
one wife and through my work and do you
know why I've learned this through my
work nine times out of 10 when a man
comes to me with some issues with his
wife it's usually related to sex and
what happens with women is when they are
madly in love with you in the beginning
stages they're very sexually open so on
and so forth and they give you good 10
10 15 years they'll give it to you and
then after kids and after time they're
like we' had our sex days like we don't
need to still have sex come on we're
like 50 years old now we're 60 years
women can sometimes go years without
wanting it or needing it they're content
with cuddles but when they're fully
fully secure in their relationship
they're content with little sexual
contact men particularly where men are a
bit afraid to ask for it they their
their drive just doesn't decrease over
the years it just doesn't change for
women it very much changes for men it
just does not change and I remember
thinking that oh God I can't I can't
imagine being still sexual like at 50 60
years old but I'm sure my husband would
be in his grave still wanting sex so I
think that it's something that men don't
change that aspect and women are
fluctuate a lot lot with that aspect so
I can almost see why sometimes it's like
you know if they don't have another wife
they're just going to have a mistress or
they're going to do some nonsense or
they're going to destroy their marriage
in some way shape or form or not if that
aspect is missing so giving people the
concept of a second wife there where
they actually have to be responsible and
love and dedicated to another woman
would make him think twice whereas when
he can just get a prostitute and go it's
like it's more likely that he's just
going to indulge in that more regularly
and often if I if I if I was a religious
man and I had one wife and she's not
giving me sex and I was truly religious
I'd be like oh god I've got to find
another wife that's going to take long
and she might be difficult and M it's a
lot thought whereas if I'm not a
religious man and my wife is not giving
me sex I'll just go to the clerk or
broth or and potentially bring all sorts
of diseases or get into a different kind
of world that is all sorts of like
disgust so I can even see things that I
never thought I would agree with God
shows me through life experience that
he's always
right okay um what do you think about
that uh I think this is really
insightful and uh going back to while
I'm not religious I think religion is do
you think um that men can have two wives
or what do you think um I will answer
that question in a moment but first I
want to understand um if you agree that
God is always right that there have been
times where at first you think he's
wrong only to then realize he's right
yeah why don't you wear a hijab oh great
question uh vanity is the only answer
that's the only answer I have tried I
have tried many times and I felt um at
the time I was working in an environment
and I felt like it was I'll be honest it
was in a British school and U British
people are like automatically they
assume that you're going to be very
different here's the thing with Brit I I
don't mean to use the word racism or
anything like that but British culture
is very different to American culture
it's not racially it's not racist in
terms of your skin color if I if you are
Black White doesn't actually it's not
really a skin color it's a culture that
they're racist about so if you have the
same British values as everybody else
they don't really have a problem with
you you can be black you can be Indian
you can be Asian there's no
discrimination but if you show that you
have very different to British values
like you might be Muslim or you might be
you know have completely different moral
values there is an instant I wouldn't
call it racism but there's an instant
discrimination against them believing
that you're not going to have anything
in common with them or believing that
you're not going to you're not part of
them or believe there's some kind of cap
to your progress so because I felt that
I ended up removing it but I do believe
in modesty I do believe in it I don't
practice it myself but I do see the
benefits in it I just my parents my mom
doesn't wear it none of my family
members none of my sisters wear it so I
wasn't raised in a household with it and
it's something I've always aspired to
but I haven't got to and then I just
went online and it kind I I thought it
was just you know I just do one or two
pictures online but it became a thing so
now I almost feel a bit trapped like oh
how do I make a reversal if I was to go
and wear the hijab I don't know how that
would pan out it's even more pressure to
how how would I make that comeback if I
was to do that that's interesting I
don't know that I track what you're
worried about what are you worried the
push back will be push back just in
general the push back in general because
I'm not when you have when you do wear
hijab you do have to uh be mindful of
other behaviors a bit better it's a bit
like when a police officer wears his
uniform you know you expect him to
follow the law a bit better in general
me I'm you know I can be nice as pie
I've got a temp from me I'm a [ __ ] I
can't be like kind and it will never go
yeah there something that just is
ingrained so um it would be the this is
me making excuses for not doing it
because I should just do it regardless
of the excuses but it would be me
worried that I'm not going to do it
justice and then also just push back in
general I think I'm just a bit anxious
about and vanity first and foremost I
would say vanity yeah I was going to ask
do you think that the lesson God is
trying to teach you with the hijab is
how to get over your vanity yeah
absolutely of course and I preach about
like pornography and not being obsessed
with women because of their looks and
blah blah and yeah and and people have
pointed this out which is very true I am
a woman who takes care of her appearance
and I've definitely used my appearance
to my advantage when it comes to men in
the in my past and where you know you
get out of speeding tickets all the time
and you get lots of promotions with it
so I've definitely used it to my
advantage but at the same time I
recognize it if we strip men of that
obsession with it and we strip women of
that obsession with it perhaps we can
create more um intrinsic
values okay let's push this into its
natural extreme how do you feel about a
burka uh I would say it's slightly more
on the extreme side I do feel like it's
a little bit less necessary because it's
not prescribed it's not like you don't
have to do the full it's just a hijab I
do think it's a bit more extreme only
because I would say in cultures where
everybody's wearing hijab if you want to
do that extra thing to kind of make
yourself modest I can understand but in
cultures like here where it doesn't
actually enhance modesty but actually
creates more distance than than it does
enhance modesty I would say it doesn't
serve the right purpose yeah why do you
say it doesn't enhance modesty because
it just um it doesn't make the person
seem more modest it just makes them seem
a bit like well other people would just
kind of the thing is when you're fully
covered that's modest enough in a
culture like this and maybe in a culture
where Saudi where everybody's in that
you can still stand out with your face
but in a culture like this you kind of
almost you know when someone's fully
covered they're they're modest enough
the extra part actually draws more
attention I think so it can actually
reduce the modesty because it can
actually draw more attention to it but
that's no no offense to it I still I
admire people's dedication but
personally from from a personal
perspective I'd say in this culture it
it attracts more attention than it
decreases yeah this is um this is an
important thing for us in culture to get
right is okay if we've swung too far
we're too promiscuous we're shaping kids
Minds with pornography way too early uh
we create an incentive system for for
women to use their sexuality to get
early easy wins um and that all of that
put together begins to derange culture
then you start saying okay so then how
do we stop this do we just completely
ban pornography from existing uh do we
force people to cover up so that you
can't see it if we're going to make them
cover up their hair do we make them
cover up their whole bodies do we put
them in a burka like how far do we go um
and how like like how you said
capitalism is the worst problem like
it's the best of the bad worst problems
I would say similarly like look there's
so many problems associated If We R
completely remove pornography and we
make everybody really modest you're
probably going to enhance the idea of
sexual assault it's probably going to
enhance some kind of you know or you
know where they end up experimenting
with each other if they can't access
women and stuff and you know it can
cause a lot of problems in that response
you just have to pick the problem that
you're willing to handle and the Willing
yeah whichever problems are more
manageable but you know I've never tried
alcohol yeah I do not missing anything
do drink much or no much definitely not
so I'll drink a few times a year uh
unfortunately I said this exact same in
our last episode it makes me feel like
I'm suppressing the urge to dance on a
table uh it's just really destructive to
the body now because I am unreasonably
disciplined even when I'm drunk I don't
do stupid things so um that isn't my
problem it's just to so what is your
like where which area of your life where
is your self-control kind of um
compromised the audience will be very
bored by this answer but there's one
area and it's actually devastating
there's one area where I have just no
discipline whatsoever I
cannot find a way to embrace that you
can be anything you want in life but not
everything and so I am constantly trying
to do too many things so even if I were
to teach you what to do from a business
perspective I would say you have to
narrow your focus even look at the
interviews like the YouTube algorithm
would say just do episodes on finance
yeah and here we are talking about
relationships and also the length of
them yeah the length of them they would
YouTube would suggest that you know you
keep it YouTube rewards me for longer
you have really great views for long
4our episode then we'd really be in
business it it is almost directly
correlated how how do you find that
because not many people can get that
like that many views from such long
content you have to run the experiment
so here's what you need you need some
percentage of your audience who's like
no matter how long this is I will watch
and so your average view duration gets
longer the longer the episode and then
if you're exploring interesting ideas
then people like oh wow like I want this
to be longer oh wow uh so yeah as I made
my episodes longer the channel started
to grow amazing yeah because but it must
be something in the dialogue that you're
doing because that's not the same for
everybody because people don't even sit
through a movie that long yeah it's true
well people break up podcasts as well so
they'll watch this it's interesting you
can watch over like the first four days
the average reut duration just keeps
going up up up up up cuz people like
they started on day one they get a
little deeper in day two and by day four
they finish the whole thing and do you
have a like a YouTube moment that you're
most proud of a YouTube moment that I'm
most proud of um this is very much
recency bias uh but and this episode so
far people hate it but I can't tell you
how much fun I had so I just had lease
on the podcast for the third time yeah
and it
was it was awesome because I went into
it and I said I'm going to pin her down
even if she ends up embarrassing herself
like I we can always edit it out but
like I'm not going to pull back I'm not
going to interview her as her husband
I'm going to treat her like I would
treat any other guest and she [ __ ]
hammered it it was awesome like so
seeing like I was really like not
pulling punches and to see her
absolutely crush and uh the comments my
audience apparently hates my wife which
makes me sad in a way that I can't
explain her audience hates me so I guess
that way uh but uh I could not have had
more fun I was so impressed with my I've
been with her 23 years and I was blown
away a that's such a nice moment did she
enjoy it did she did we were both like
oh my God this may not perform but holy
hell was that fun what moment so yeah
she found a new gear in my opinion and I
was like I think if she draws a line and
says there's me before that interview
and there's me after because it's really
interesting as a podcast host H you
bring something different out of the
guest it's really
fascinating
and because guest will often prepare for
my show I get a more
um serious prepared version formal
perfect than somebody else might get and
so to see her come be formal on my show
really [ __ ] awesome and what did you
learn new from her was there anything
that you hadn't realized or um that she
has thought about relationships even
more deeply than I had thought that she
has thought about independence even more
than I thought she did and so there were
a couple times where I'm like I'm she's
backed herself into a dead end and then
she like really had um interesting ways
to think about it that I hadn't
considered it was fun and then she ended
up sort of accidentally showing me that
I had a flaw in the way that I was
explaining a concept so that was really
interesting yeah it was just a lot of
fun a I'm so Happ for you guys it makes
me very happy to see how you guys
respect each other and it's the same off
camera you know sometimes people think
okay yeah it's just a camera thing and
blah blah blah but it's definitely not
it's definitely not you can definitely
spot the authenticity in it so I'm just
always so happy for you guys when I see
you guys happy to be proud of each other
challenge each other and just be proud
to be with one another it's such a nice
feeling PSA yeah you you want to find
somebody you have to contend with yeah
so I think Jordan Peterson has it right
and I I can't tell you enough like so
one of the things you said earlier is
guys don't want push back yeah I don't
want push back uh my wife pushes back
all the [ __ ] time and the number of
times I just want to be like can you
please just let me lead for the love
with God yeah and my life would be worse
if she didn't push back she has made me
a better person because she pushes back
she's made me wiser she's made me more
effective as an entrepreneur more
effective as a husband a friend I mean
just really really really and so it my
marriage has really made me feel like
hey some of these traditional things
because I'm way more of a progressive
I'm a technologist I want to usher in
just a new Utopia like make it all
amazing but when I look at the
traditional grounding of a
marriage how much it's given me in fact
here's an idea I want to run by you okay
so we've just gone through all the
things that create all these problems
but when I think about um what made Lisa
and I work is that we found each other
young yeah and because of that she
wasn't going after me because I had
resources she was going after me because
she believed that together I could get
access to resources now this feels like
the most offensive thing that I ever say
out loud but we may have been better off
in fact I I will just say on balance
even though I'm a liberty guy so I want
people to be able to choose on balance I
think everyone was happier when women
had to work through men yeah and because
I know how inflammatory that statement
is I will ask the audience to give me a
second to develop that idea when Lisa
was a housewife she was not interfacing
with the world in a career way in a
business way but her fate was so tied to
mine that she very much was like okay
what are the important things that are
happening in our lives how are you
handling it in in a fun wonderful way
but like oh well did you ever think
about this or you should push for that
or you should ask for a raise or you
should try to get Equity or whatever
like but constantly like she had
ambition and drive and motivation in her
soul but the only way to manifest that
in the world was through me and so it
was making me better it was pushing me
in areas where I might not have pushed
or at least not as pushed pushed as hard
things I would tell her would make her
angry but they wouldn't make me angry so
she's like you should be mad about this
and let me give you a different
perspective on why and then even though
I wasn't just going to run in and be
like my wife says you're like okay let
me internalize that let me think about
it that's an interesting perspective
you're giving me a new frame of
reference and so over time I realized
whoa I'm getting better because of this
person's influence on my life and she's
getting better because of my influence
on her life and then you start going is
that why Evolution has gone hey I'm
gonna make this diad and I'm Gonna Make
You Different yeah I'm not gonna make
you good at the same things and you guys
are GNA come together now as two halves
of a ho and so and then for fans of East
Asian philosophy there's this symbol
known as the yinyang and the yinyang has
these two sort of they're almost
intertwined and then they have a piece
of each other inside of it and I've
always thought that's Lisa and I so I am
very masculine but I have a bit of
feminine in my temperament Lisa's very
feminine has a bit masul in Herer and so
we have a much deeper understanding of
each other and we believe that together
as a whole we're far more effective even
though separately we're both very potent
and very effective in real life I you
just look at our individual
accomplishments we're very effective in
our individual lives but when we come
together that it's very much a more than
doubling yeah and it could be you know
sometimes I'll have clients that come to
me and say should I stay or should I
leave and the first thing I ask them is
do you like the person you are more when
you're with them or when you're not with
them and usually the couples that last
are the ones that they genuinely like
the person they are when they're
together whereas the ones that have no
chance are the ones that when they're
together they're toxic they're brutal
they're rude but to the rest of the
world they're actually quite nice and
they're actually quite calm it's just
this relationship is bringing that out
of them so it sounds like from your
perspective you wouldn't like your life
half as much if she wasn't in it that is
for sure and you wouldn't like the
person you are half as much if she
wasn't the one in your life so and one
more I wouldn't be half the person if
she wasn't in my life and so that's the
reason that I say I think people may
have been better off when they
understood that part of this exchange is
we meet each other at roughly post colle
age so 22 to 25 and then we spend the
rest of our lives together often Tied by
kids which we are not but that we're
going to share this life we're going to
do it together that we're stronger as a
couple that we're going to work through
all the things that make relationships
difficult because they can be difficult
but that in doing all of that we will
get more out of this life emotionally
and I mean even just as crassly as
financially by being a team and what
would you have done if you had to if you
had met each other in like
2020 when you had to contend with
Instagram and Tinder and stuff because
luckily you met when you kind of just
missed that stage uh but now the because
when people meet young there's so many
Alternatives and so much like oh I'm
missing out I'm missing out how how do
you think you would have fared if you
had met in this generation so I think
that the there are benefits and
disadvantages to the way that my brain
is as a as a literal organ I think I am
I am a very deep thinker but I'm a very
slow thinker okay so it takes me a long
time to think through very complicated
topics uh so I think I would have gotten
caught up just like anybody else so
first of all I may respond to vagina in
a disproportionately strong way I've
always considered myself a hyper
responder right two vaginas or just oh
wow really yeah so uh I I won't
embarrass my wife but yes like that for
sure is a thing for me um and it I think
I would have thought Tinder was better
than a spaceship or a time travel device
like wait you're telling me that I can
go on this thing and it will tell me
people that are near me that want to
have sex like you must be joking yeah so
I would have way way way gotten caught
up in that now thankfully praise be to
God I've had enough experiences sexually
to go when I'm not into her I actually
feel lonely and so there's a really
interesting sense of a the the most
alone I've ever been is when I was
inside of a woman that I didn't care
about yeah and that realization was
[ __ ] fascinating and so here I am in
the middle of having sex and I'm
thinking like an anthropologist and I'm
like ooh this is an important thing to
know about myself but do you think that
cheaters avoid that feeling by knowing
that they have a stable partner at home
and they can focus on just the pleasure
of that experience I've heard you talk
about it so here's what happens if you
as a man don't have a woman that looks
at you like a hero none of the
sacrifices you're making are worth it
I'll spare you the time yeah and so
if I I think that there's a guy named
soldier niton who wrote a book about the
goog called the gulg archipelago about
the Russian prison camps and in it he
says you have to understand that if only
it was a bunch of evil people doing evil
Deeds yeah then we could just go find
them kill them and we'd be done but the
reality is that the line between good
and evil runs straight through every
human heart so I imagine myself as the
person that would be the fool and so I
know that I would get to the point where
I wanted to cheat so badly I would go to
Lee and say this either has to change or
I'm leaving you yeah and the thing that
would put me in that situation is she
doesn't look at me like a hero anymore
and now someone else does and they make
me feel powerful again and I think if
you don't appreciate a man and make him
feel powerful he's going to find that
somewhere else and do they classify
appreciation as sex no did two very
different so can but can a man still
feel appreciated by a woman that's not
sexually fulfilling him or does he feel
like because because yeah they can like
say there was it would be a piece
missing so I'll feel appreciated but I
won't feel loved so if Lisa wanted to
make me feel disconnected all she needs
to do is not have sex with me and then
I'll be like wo I don't feel loved and
she that is very disorienting for her
and for both of us when we heard the
phrase that we said earlier that women
need to have women need to feel loved to
have sex and men need to have sex to
feel loved and I really can't emphasize
that enough if you've gone more than a
month two months with that and I
sometimes I'm I'll say oh he say my me
and my wife just don't sleep with each
other anymore and I'll say how often do
you sleep together and they'll say three
times a month and I'm thinking that's
not that bad but in a man's world that's
actually for him in that particular case
that wasn't enough so if you are if you
have a husband that's Moody and a bit
ratty and all of these things and you've
tried everything you tried like being
nice to him and and it's not working
have a look at your the the physical
intimacy if that's even remotely missing
it's like they they can't activate their
happy switch until that's been activated
unfortunately so and I think women
really underestimate it myself included
until I been working with men it is the
most important form of appreciation in
their world like of course with
everything else but they need it's it's
a way of feeling all types of intimacy
physical emotional everything comes from
that so it is really important plus the
verbal affirmations and all those other
things but that's a really important
element of it and it is a guard for
infidelity as well if you can maintain
your intimacy it does guard them against
infidelity
hopefully yeah I think that that's one
of those it just is it it should be that
way but it certainly it just is and
unfortunately another thing that I've
said that kind of can upset people is
that also they need to be somewhat
attracted to each other like if you have
Let Yourself Go I wouldn't say it's just
men or women if you've let yourself go
completely your partner might still love
you but they do not desire you the
desire decreases if you're totally
different to the person they signed up
for yes I know there should be
unconditional love but it's there's not
unconditional desire desire is something
that is more visual based so you owe it
to each other to remain somewhat in the
ballpark of what you were when you met
and remain somewhat attracted to each
other because there's just too many
alternatives to that now it's just
guarding your own marriage is to go
place a guard where women get it wrong
is that they just expect he should just
be a desire me and he should just love
me and he should just I know he should
but he just won't you've got to remain
somewhat in the same physical
capabilities as you were when you first
met for him to remain satisfied some
might stay loyal but they won't
necessarily be satisfied it's
interesting I think where people put
their shoulds they need to be very
careful cuz he should just be into me
now you're setting yourself up for
disaster uh but do you think men should
also just realize that sometimes you
can't maintain that level of physicality
for the rest of your life or is it
something that they can't always adap to
they just no I think dude look message
to young men yeah for your own emotional
well-being when you get with a woman and
you decide this is you're going to make
a shot at forever yeah you want to make
sure that that person feels safe yeah
and the safe isn't just physically safe
the safe is emotionally safe and so when
Lisa was 22 I was like I want you to
hear me right now you are beautiful
you're young you're gorgeous you're in
great shape you have an amazing body
beautiful face but you won't
forever and I'm still going to love you
I'm still going to desire you and I want
you to understand why I'm going to
desire you at that age because we're
going to spend the rest of our lives
investing in each other being there for
each other um sharing sexuality keep
this as hot as we can like doing all
these things so that there's a
playfulness there's a bonding to it
there's a celebration of that right now
we have youthful skin and we look great
and you know all that stuff but life
moves in phases yeah and this is a
temporary phase and I want to take
advantage of it while we have it but I
don't want us to ever be
surprised by how we will change and so
making those invest ments early on of
both telling her you're beautiful now
I'm extremely attracted to you now and
in the future I'm going to be just as
attracted to what could you do that
would make would could potentially make
you less attracted to her because the
problem is when men don't vocalize when
they've lost attraction and then they
just have a slow resentment towards
their partner because they're not
satised don't do silence yeah so there
have been times where both of us have
not been in Peak physical condition and
look I used to walk around with six-pack
abs M I'm now more like a two-ish pack
abber still still very impressive still
in reasonable shape like I'm no big deal
yeah um but it's not like Lisa's like
hey what the [ __ ] she knows that I'm
capable of being in better shape but
there's a band in which she still finds
me attractive also the band is like you
not become a physically lazy person I
think it's more the laziness that finds
that she might find unattractive but
you're still in good shape it's just
maybe we peek and at different stages
but she she hasn't seen you turn into a
gluttonous person that she can no longer
recognize so but is there anything she
could do that would make her
nonattractive to you physically or both
uh so emotionally yes that that would be
very easy if she stopped appreciating me
became hostile
belligerent um if she ever used my
insecurities against me in a weaponized
way all of that that's ugly to me uh so
that would be very problematic obviously
Infidel is just not start
it wouldn't make you lose it's just lost
the
relationship over I would lose respect
for and I certainly wouldn't be
attracted to um physically yeah if she
got lazy and let herself go and wasn't
putting energy into her appearance um if
she didn't try to be sexy for me um that
would be problematic like I do expect
her expect her to make an effort as she
should expect me to make an effort and I
think that's something that men just
need to be more vocal about when they're
speaking to their wives because it's so
much better to have that difficult
conversation than to have the difficult
conversation that you've been texting
another girl or that you've been
watching X Y and Zed it's just an easier
conversation to have so be brave enough
to have that conversation rather than
tiptoeing that conversation and waiting
until the car crashes and you know she
finds something terrible out so it's
just I don't know why why do you think
some men struggle to have those open
honest conversations is it because the
recipient is not very receptive probably
not they don't understand it themselves
they don't understand it themselves and
when I say that if there's shakiness in
your relationship your woman is not
looking at you like a hero she doesn't
make you powerful she doesn't anticipate
your needs uh she's not making an effort
or just any one of those things right
there's a a thing that's off in your
relationship and somebody else gives you
that attention the way it feels is so
intoxicating it's like when a woman
feels like imagine your husband makes
you feel blah or even downright ugly and
then somebody else is like whoo you are
stunning what that's going to do it's
going to light you up in a way and it
doesn't matter who it's coming from just
the feeling in itself is enough to
attach to it so it's just creating those
Moes around your relationship to prevent
it rather than resenting these things
because yes of course I would love it if
you can just get as fat as you want and
not make an effort ever again and no
worries he'll still be loyal but it's
just not realistic let's just be
realistic with each other as difficult
as it might be let's just be realistic
so that you protect your own marriages
to guard your own marriage not to make
you feel low but to elevate the your
relationship also what is almost
certainly happening to that person to
let themselves go like that yeah is all
bad yeah nothing's good about that
nothing's good they're in a dark place
you're spiraling and that's where you
really want to reach out for help and
work with your spouse you can't just
wallow in your insecurities and
self-pity sometimes people when they
like really let themselves go it makes
them more susceptible to Affairs because
they want a shortcut to self-esteem and
usually that comes in the form of new
attention and stuff so actually the more
you let yourself go guys have always
worried about the women that maintain
themselves but you also need to worry
about the person man or woman that's let
themselves go they might look for cheap
thrills to kind of elevate their
self-esteem that's been dropping over
the years so it is an important thing
just self-respect is an important thing
to look for in your partner agreed yeah
I want to talk about the future yes so
what do you think is going to happen are
we going to retreat from all of the
promiscuity the dating apps and all of
that or are AI girlfriends and sex
robots going to take over uh it's going
to go towards uh sex robots and AI is
definitely going to go more towards that
I remember when we first heard the word
chat rooms we thought it's just where a
bunch of pedophiles connect but really
over time we now got to the point where
we're all talking online all day every
day it's just got a different name to it
so what seems so scary and so un like
you know the idea of putting your
relationship status online and all these
things are so bizarre but then Facebook
came and then Instagram came and then
everything comes so what happens is um
the devil is quite patient with how much
disclosure and how much you do online so
it starts very small very small foot in
the door technique but it will get to
the point where there's definitely Ai
and sex robots and that will definitely
become um I I heard someone say
something I might have been on your
channel where he was saying that even
the robots will create like fear of
infidelity and fear of like fighting and
that just to ignite the same human
emotion but again without the man having
or the woman having to work on any of
the qualities that attracts through
intimacy so it's a shortcut society that
we created and I think for as long as
men worship um vagina that is then it
will get more the capitalist Society
will get is never going to forget that
that men will pay endless and one thing
I've learned and this is where my
jadedness has come from is men are
deeply transactional their generosity is
limited to the women that they're
actually touching and sleeping with and
they pay for these kind of things and
when you have a capitalist societ that
understands that men would rather pay
for webcam girls than pay their mom's
medical bills or they would rather pay a
random prostitutes uh you know um school
fees then pay their own daughter's
school fees you learn that men are so
like Eng engulfed in this area of Life
the quickest way to become a billionaire
is to provide men sexual access give
them something that will give them
sexual access and you will become a
billionaire overnight because that's
what men reward and invest in sadly and
I don't know why that is but they will
literally really really put lots of
money I and I see this regularly you'll
see men that will literally when it
comes to say they they'll say to me oh I
don't really talk to my dad that much
every time he calls me he just wants a
bit of money or my brother he always
wants a bit of money and yet they've got
girls that they give so much money to
they pay the rent for they pay the car
for and she's nothing but disrespectful
for but their wallet is open for that
girl but for their own family they're
like oh no I'm not going to pay him it's
they they're transactional nature to
their generosity and I don't know if
that's a new thing or if that's always
been there but I have noticed that their
generosity is very much linked to
attraction and uh pleasure I admittedly
could never be into a woman that was
hostile towards me so that never
resonates when you're like oh they're
kind of toward them that's super weird
to me however um if you look at the way
that men engage with pornography versus
the way that women engage with
pornography first of all female
pornography tends to be books so it's a
written word describing the internal
state how people are feeling all of that
um a lot of buildup before the ACT uh
whereas male pornography is shots of the
genitalia so when like if women really
develop an understanding of male
sexuality they will have a much easier
time predicting men's behavior so when I
hear that these guys put up with the
belligerent or whatever and they put up
with needing to pay for these girls um
what's really going on is going to be
something like the following I make so
much money and I'm so powerful I can
just pay this chick's rent and she'll
spread her legs for me yeah and that's
kind of evil and definitely gross but
it's also powerful it's like yep I can
just I'm so good like like it's they're
going to think of it in weird ways like
this I'm going into this meeting with
this guy and I'm going to be able to
negotiate terms over him I'm going to
win over him and that win is going to
come to me in the form of money and then
I can use that money to get this bimbo
to do whatever I want now this I'm
painting a very dark picture of a
certain type of guy but it's like that
kind of chain is he isn't the Sheep
that's oh being abused by this poor
woman no and the reason that he doesn't
want to do it for his dad or whatever is
because they're not triggering any of he
doesn't get access to anything from them
that he finds interesting whereas if
it's a woman that he is legitimately
attracted to and he's effectively having
a relationship with her genitals it's
like there's still a thing look that
that's just an evolutionary drive so
wild like can you see why I get jaded I
I I would advise you not to get jaded I
would I'm praying the reason that I
would say don't be jaded is look it is
yeah this is how Nature has made us if
anything there's a humor to the fact
that uh a billionaire like Jeff Bezos I
love you and I would love to interview
you one day and so I hate always using
this reference but he's one of the most
disciplined businessmen of all time what
he build is just unbelievable and he
still got caught out sending a dickpic
to his mistress it's like it's you see
even with like you know um Elon Musk and
both Johnny Depp and Elon Musk were in
love with Amber herd and and so it just
shows you that like you know this is
obviously and people would be like oh
but she's not all that and she's not
this but because when you understand the
male brain there must be something
sexual that has got them attached and
it's nothing more than that because the
treatment is negative so yeah they do
put that as a priority so yeah like I
was saying the reason why I would say
sex robots and all of these things it is
a dream come true for men that don't
want to work on their skills and here's
the main thing and the reason why sex
robots will definitely replace
everything else is men have confused
their desire for intimacy with desire
for sex when they finally meet a sex
robot they can combine the two in their
mind they get pseudo intimacy where you
actually get a bit of a connection
she'll call you and stuff and they might
get to reenact the sex but really what
most men are truly craving is intimacy
and how you know this is how quickly
they can fall in love with a woman that
makes them feel loved espe if they're
attracted to a woman and she makes them
feel loved it takes very few minutes for
them to fall in love because their deep
need is to they they don't look men
particularly as a man you're built to be
in tribes you're built for connection if
you are lonely it is a slow death for a
man and and literally in a tribal terms
if you are lonely you are going to die
you need a group to stay alive so the
loneliness they'll do anything to avoid
loneliness and they'll do anything to
have sex so when you've got when you
create an AI girlfriend you have
literally if you were going to invest in
anything that would make you a quick
billionaire invest in those companies
that are creating AI or girlfriends
sadly yeah yeah so let me ask you said
earlier that you could now begin to
understand why the Quran says that it's
okay to have a second wife would you
ever let your husband have an AI second
wife no that would be even worse i'
would be like what that's worse way
worse I'd be like you're a creep because
here's the thing it's just like I would
admire somebody's ability to have two
wonderful women be in love with you that
takes work and effort a man that can get
two women to be madly in love with him
and loyal to him I can admire that as a
form of masculinity but having a man in
love with me and I'm competing with a
essentially a like a glorified iPad is
insane to me like how am I competing
with something that you have to charge
on a battery like I would be mortified
not because of the competition element
because he's not the man I would admire
a man that is so desperate for affection
that he will you take it in the form of
something that is electronic is not a
man I admire and that's what really my
main issue and same thing some women I
meet so many women that will say oh my
husband he goes to escorts but I don't
mind that as much because at least
there's no feelings and it's just quick
dab or Diss that and the other and for
me it's like I understand the psychology
behind escorts it's not that they're not
actually going because of the quick ease
and release they're going because they
want to avoid rejection they want to be
in environments where they don't get any
feedback on their sexual performance
that's really the under lying reason
they'll say they'll kind of mask it and
say it's because it's easy and you get
you pay them to leave I've worked with
hundreds of guys that have used escorts
every single one of them has an
insecurity in their sexual performance
every single one because men who are
secure in their sexual performance can
get the same service from women that
they don't have to pay they can get
girls in the club that they'll sleep
with that night and then she disappears
and he disappears it's not the end of
the world men who go to escorts every
single one of them has either had issues
with ejaculation premature ejaculation
they're insecure about the size I'll
always get it out of them at some point
because they'll come to me they're like
no no no it's just quick and easy to get
rid of them and this be honest with me
because that you're you're handsome I
can see that you've got lots going for
you why would somebody like you go to an
escort and they then they timidly admit
I used to have a problem with
ejaculation or I used to have a problem
I'm not confident about the size of my
penis or some girls have told me that
they didn't like it so I just don't want
that negative feedback so I I think
women if you have a man that said oh I
go to escorts because it's quick and
easy he's actually masking his deeper
insecurity so to go to a robot I can't
imagine the level of insecurity that
must be involved there that's
interesting I have a totally different
take on that talk to me uh
so the Tik Tok algorithm is one of the
most brilliant algorithms in terms of
understanding what you want yeah and
giving you what you want to the point
where you don't understand how much time
just went by yeah and I think that the
AI running the robots will be the same
so first of all they will get so good
that they feel a real
human but they'll just be that plus more
so they'll pass the touring test so when
you're talking to it yeah it's not like
you're like well this is obviously a
robot you like this is a real person and
it will be a real person that will
sometimes pull away just enough that you
feel like you have to pursue and
convince and all that stuff and but they
will they will optimize for
your almost certainly in the beginning
anyway they'll optimize for engagement
so hopefully that's something positive
and they don't turn into these
hypertoxic relationships let's assume
that they that you have a dial and you
can be like I want to feel good and so
it's getting feedback about how you feel
and it's giving you more or less of what
you need to actually be imbalanced and
so someone like me is going to have an
AI That's like adding to his life and
like pushing me to be better and you
know all those things uh but is also
supportive and looks at me like a hero
and all that so um I am beginning to
hear women leak anxiety about okay
always had to compete against
pornography yeah and the body standards
and the sexual enthusiasm and all that
and that's already exhausting and now
I'm going to have to compete with the
the perfect girlfriend who's literally
like probably getting biometric data off
of you so they know exactly what you're
feeling and how to optimize it and oh I
see you want my the my body temperature
to be like half a degree warmer you're
lacking oxytocin I need to do this it
could be anything that they could check
yeah so then do you think that's only
going to lead to women getting more
lonely and lonely women tends to become
more promiscuous women well I think
they'll end up being a female solve so
meaning that females will get their
perfect man and so don't the thing is I
highly I would be very surprised that
women would attach to AI robots because
here's the thing with men sex is enough
to create an attachment for women
attachment is enough is needed to create
the sex so I the fact that the
attachment is
invariably fake won't create the sexual
desire well so now you're getting onto
something else I guarantee it will be
just as easy to fool a woman into
generating desire unless they or is it
like a robot no it'd be standing in
front of you it it like literally in
fact okay can I finally reveal the truth
you're a robot I'm a
robot you know the real Tom is upstairs
right now so uh are you scared a second
I because that's probably what it will
be
like do think in a way like I mean I'm a
very big skeptic and I I always the way
I talk it's like the world is ending
every day but do you do you think
there's a part there's a room for this
in our world because people are so
lonely do you think it's a good
resolution no oh God okay so here's what
I think is going to happen technology
will ultimately make things better but
we will go through a brutal period of
transition and that period of transition
I will fingers crossed we don't
annihilate ourselves with a nuclear
weapon or with a biological weapon but
assuming we get on the other side of
that yes it will be better but it the
long Arc of History cares not for an
individual generation so it will happily
obliterate Millions hundreds of millions
whether just outright death or just a
terrible life where emotionally we're
all super distraught because we're a
transitional generation uh so I don't
think we get on the other side in
anything approaching a graceful manner
yeah and will they create AI children as
well like you can have children in now
you're on to my fetish secretly I hold
in my head oh God my audience is going
to hate me for this I brought it up once
before and people went pretty nuts uh I
will almost certainly at some point
raise an AI child you think so but I'll
do it over like a threeyear span yeah
and so it'll go from yeah cuz you'll be
able to dial this speed so it'll be uh I
only want to spend a weekend with that
as a baby because I do want to feel like
I
a baby robot I mean I'm making all of
this up but I'm just saying when you
carry out how the technology moves so in
the beginning it'll be like a um a top
maachi where it'll just be a very
convincing uh thing that you're
interacting with on a computer screen
eventually it will be embodied as a
robot and they'll just get better and
better but yeah you'll be able to dial
it in the version that I think will be
created where it's like okay the
terrible twos I only want to last for a
week and the teenager is oh my God like
we're you know only going to deal with
that for a month but then isn't that
just going to enhance depression because
the whole our buffer for depression
psychologically is our ability to deal
with tough times and our ability to take
rejection our ability to handle
loneliness all negative emotion has it's
our ability to thrive through it that's
going to actually act as a buffer for
depression but kind of warding ourselves
away from it doesn't create the skills
and tools we need for strong mental
health so how do we prevent a nation of
depressed people the AI will be
optimized to make you the strongest most
resilient most anxiety and
depression-free human on the planet
remember we're going to pass through a
brutal period you and I both agree it it
will get very bad before it gets good
and so in the early days it's going to
be kids spending nine hours a day
talking to replica on their phone and
they you know aren't able to get a real
girlfriend in the real world they don't
have any of the advantages of it passing
like a true touring test it'll be a
nightmare but on the other side of this
you will be able to have relationships
that are optimized completely to you the
most loving what's the intention of this
what's the intention of the people that
are creating this uh well I mean now
we're going to reopen the can of worms
around capitalism and all that you you
can't get people to work without
compensation MH so that means that then
money is going to be involved yeah and
that's how you're going to motivate
people and then if you don't allow them
to Garner enough Capital they won't work
which is why uh China started
floundering and they had to bring in
state sponsor capitalism but nonetheless
a variant of capitalism Russia had to do
the same and so yeah capitalism will
once again get involved so money is the
intention okay money is the thing that
but whenever the intention is money then
we have to compromise human health that
is false okay oh God we're going to
derail again sorry for the for me this
is fun this would be a good test to find
out what my audience thinks Okay so
money deranges people largely because
it's a fiat currency that the government
says uh this is money and then they can
manipulate it and they not only tax you
to all hell but they do uh money
Printing and when they money print money
printing is the same as devaluing the
money that you hold so it's it is
another hidden tax so when you hear oh
they're printing money and you get
excited yay this is amazing the reality
is that they're socializing the losses
so they're buying assets which is why
people get really mad but they don't
understand why they're getting mad
because they think I got a stimy check
from the government yes but the way that
they do that is they inject that into
the financial system by buying assets so
the people that are rich that own the
assets they benefit and then everybody
even the poorest Among Us get diluted so
their buying power goes down so they
feel like but I got a $6,000 check this
is insane I've never had this much money
in one check ever in my life yes but
your money is worth less now and so now
the price of bread went up and so that
$6,000 doesn't really get you much
unless you invest it which of course you
won't uh so when you derange money now
you make money deranging now I'm not
letting capitalism off the hook for it
just creates a win or take all scenario
there really is that and you get this
increasing divide and so you have to
have very um smart policies that
encourage people to pay their taxes re
invest in their business and it's never
going to be a an equitable system where
everybody ends up with the same thing it
just doesn't work that way that can only
be imposed by force and once you impose
it by force just goes to hell in a hand
basket so money is not inherently
compromising but if you steal obviously
problematic but often times a lot of the
theft is coming from the government in
terms of the way that they money print
to get this hidden tax so on and so
forth so do you recommend the AI
girlfriend that we be ruled by AI yeah I
don't know yet okay so this is one where
I'm not willing to seed
control yet I may see it and go oh yeah
we really should but right now I just
have a knee-jerk reaction to I don't
want anything to be able to tell me what
to do I have a real problem with
authority okay AI or otherwise and but
you're an advocate technology you do
agree as it's advancing or you do like
the advancement of technology I like the
advancement of technology I think it's a
one-way Street the way that the human
mind is designed you're never going to
go backwards okay however I do think
that Society will bate and that some
people will completely reject technology
and go back to something akin to the 9s
yeah I don't see it going back
unfortunately but I just um I I think
the measure of any kind of um whenever
we introduce something new in society
how we measure whether or not it's good
or not is by the uh remnants on people's
mental health because obviously I'm
coming from a psychological perspective
and if anything is decreasing our or
increasing our depression anxiety
loneliness it can't be a good thing even
if it's causing people to make billions
so that's why my it sounds bizarre
considering my life is all built on
technology uh from an objective
standpoint I don't think it's a a
healthy thing for society to get more
indulged in the one thing that has
caused so much destruction to people's
mental health over the last
decade yeah but that's just my opinion I
think it's a very wise take and I think
that
um technology is not a Utopia it will be
a very bumpy ride but but probably will
We Will We live through it or is it
going to be in the next Generation we
will live through it
live going to get walloped in the next
10 years the next 10 years your life
will be unrecognizable to a level that
will shock you so our husbands in the
nursing homes might be having affairs
with robots uh husbands in nursing homes
probably won't be in nursing home
because by then we will have mastered
the health things that we need to keep
going so yeah if I in 30 years I will be
in my
70s uh so assuming I keep myself in good
shape in in 30 years it wof you're
probably past what's known as The
Singularity where things are changing so
fast it is absolutely impossible to
predict okay yeah it's an impossibility
it's going to be crazy got it got it
Sadia I enjoy every second I get to
spend with you where can people find you
uh the S the psychology on Psy on
Instagram but and everything else is
Saia psychology I do have a patron I do
have programs I know I've been very like
aggressive with men but I do have
programs designed to help men rid
themselves of these kind of problems
that I've discussed today where it's you
know video calls and videos and all
sorts of kind of activities to help
reduce this dependency on any kind of
addiction and help them become a more
valuable man um and for couples as well
so there's lots of ways to get in touch
whether it's patreon Tik Tok Instagram
and YouTube of course and again thank
you so much for having me I do
appreciate appreciate you giving me this
platform and this experience with
yourself it is absolutely my pleasure
all right everybody speaking of pleasure
if you haven't already be sure to
subscribe and until next time my friends
be legendary take care peace if you
enjoyed this episode watch my
conversation with the one and only
Robert Green seduction involves the
desire to lose control and Men share
this as well which is why men are often
attracted to women who's slightly
dangerous women who are either a little
bit crazy