Kind: captions
Language: en
Modern Life is conspiring to ruin your
romantic relationships from the pill to
the red pill dating apps crumbling
gender Norms social media weed porn
aimlessness all of it together is a
disastrous cocktail there are really
goofy ass people in the red pill
Community the people saying these things
haven't spent enough time around women
there really is a simple path to sexual
success and success in finding a real
lasting partnership here to talk about
it is relationship expert and massive
YouTuber Matthew
hussy the volume and velocity of
terrible dating advice that I see the
internet giving men is astonishing what
do you think men are getting wrong about
the game of Seduction when I think of
what men are getting wrong I see a I see
a lot of anger that I find concerning
what do you think driving that it's
almost a combination of there's like a
sense of entitlement I think to it of I
should be able to have this but I'm not
able to have that and there's also
discrepancy between what people you know
let's say what women are saying they
want versus what they go for which I
think pains a lot of people to see and
creates a lot of cynicism this idea that
I'm not
wanted for this version of myself but
I'm wanted when I'm a more aggressive or
worse version of myself when I hit a
certain age or when they hit a certain
age I am suddenly
visible in a way that I wasn't before
but am I visible for reasons that I
think are good or am I now
visible because this person's coming
from a place of scarcity
or they now
want safety and I represent safety but I
resent representing safety because I I
want to be wanted for the same reasons
you wanted that person over there but
I'm not seen that way so I I think
there's a lot there's a lot of guys who
feel
steamrolled you know what like they gave
their best to someone or something or
really tried and it wasn't good enough
or it wasn't you know the person they
were with still ended up wanting
something that was more superficial
or someone who is stereotypically hot or
masculine or whatever it may be
and you know if if someone if you've
been with someone who has accepted a lot
from you like taken a lot and you bent
over backwards in almost in good faith
in a way
that this was what they wanted and that
if you just more compromising if you
were just more sacrificing if you just
gave more to this person that
if you just and I when I'm describing
all these things I feel like I'm
describing so many women too so it's
it's funny
but that this person will see how
indispensable I am and then that person
walks all over
them and leaves anyway and goes for
someone who doesn't do half as much that
I think creates a lot of
anger so what what is that Dynamic why
is there a Gap between and I'll say
you're describing the the nice guy and I
don't necessarily mean that in the like
hypertoxic way that it becomes the nice
guy who's really using a uh I think they
call it the sneaky [ __ ] strategy where
they basically pretend I mean there's
real animals that do this that will look
like females they look like the female
of the species so that they can get past
the alpha male that that guards the
females they get ped by literally
looking like a female and then they mate
um so that that is a very toxic version
but I don't think that's what you're
referring to I would say right now
correct me if I'm wrong but a guy who is
legitimately um more gential by nature
and so he's getting hit by something
that he's confused
by yeah and maybe just feels overlooked
there's a book I want to read that I'm
saddened I haven't read before this
interview but there's a book I want to
read and I forget it's by a Japanese
author but it's there's I think there's
a moment where a a monk or a guy
destroys the temple that he thinks is so
amazing and so beautiful and there's
some idea there with hating the thing
that we
desire and I think that there is a
significant amount of that too of like
it's easy to end up hating the thing
that you want the most especially if you
feel like that thing has control over
you it has power over you if it you know
if you don't feel like you call the
shots then you can end up really
resenting that thing that you really
really want and so I feel like there's a
lot of there's this fine line between
wanting it so badly and then ending up
on the anger side of that because it's
not panned out the way that you would
have hoped and I'm curious to know what
you think in terms of hypocrisies that
maybe make a lot of guys angry
that I'm sure on some level feed into it
there's lots of narratives being played
out around that stuff when I look at a
lot of the anger out there it always
seems like there's a real sense of story
around it that makes people even more
angry about what they've decided every
person on this Earth is like or wants
and it's the stories they've arrived at
all like maybe some of them have arrived
at them in a data driven way or at least
in an empirical way where they just go
this has been my experience my whole
life and I can find lots and lots of
evidence for it there always seems to be
a real strand of story and othering
meaning they're telling themselves a
story about what it means that they're
being treated that way yes and what
every woman is like mhm and what every
woman wants and and so on and so on yeah
it's interesting so to me this is uh
entirely a game of what is so
I was the guy that I think you're
describing who is um maybe a little too
gential by nature and
so there is a discrepancy between my
instinct and maybe what I thought
Society was telling me a guy should be
and then what's actually what actually
makes somebody desirable I think there's
a really terrifying cocktail of things
that's happening right now um if you
look at the red pill community and the
things that they're trying to push it
there's such a grounding of usefulness
but it spills over into these hard and
fast rules and so I think about what's
your aim the red pill community's aim is
to dominate women now I don't know that
they would agree with that statement but
I'm prepared to debate that
statement whereas I think the ultimate
punchline is you should be looking for
somebody that's your equal that you're
contending with they're not going to be
the same as you but you have to
understand what women want versus
what you think they want and so if you
can play the game this is the way the
world is versus this is the way I wish
the world were then you can get a lot
farther ahead so getting mad and
spiraling out of control because people
have a nature guys have a nature women
have a nature if you can understand that
then you can navigate it and there's a
reason that I called it the game of
Seduction for me it became almost funny
Once I understood what it took to seduce
a woman and I use the word game because
it's playful it should feel light it
should feel fun like it shouldn't feel
like you're trying to pull a fast one or
anything like you're trying to to get to
a level of confidence where you can be
at ease you can be playful you can
accept there's a book called a billion
Wicked thoughts which I highly encourage
everybody that can hear my voice right
now to read and in it they look at the
difference between what go for from a
pornographic search standpoint and what
women go for and women go for it's like
vampires billionaires surgeons
werewolves and I think I'm missing one
but it like every novel because that's
women's pornography is is the romance
novel every novel if I didn't say
billionaire that's one of them uh they
all have that as the lead character now
once you understand that okay they want
the they want to tame a powerful and
dangerous man with
their
sexuality like once
you understand what cues then they would
be looking for in a man then it's like
okay cool I get this game now yes you're
going to have to become that kind of
person if you want to play this game
well but if you see it as a game of I
have to understand the rules I have to
understand I do not want to use the word
opponent my my dance partner because
that's really what this is I have to
understand my dance partner and how
they're operating and what they look for
and what they want but if I understand
that I can play this game well women uh
say that they want one thing but then
they select something else what's that
Gap so much of what drives attraction is
more
Charisma than those things I think that
it's a kind of the idea that the rich
guy gets all the
attention is quickly undermined
by how much a woman will pay more
attention to someone who's charismatic
in a room than the guy who is like you
know flaunting how much wealth they have
like that's a very very important driver
for so many people is like who's got
something about them in the way that
they carry themselves and I I sometimes
maybe I'm wrong because I'm not deep in
that Community but it sometimes feels
like there's too much emphasis on
women want a guy with power women want a
guy with you know status or with money
there have no doubt that some of that is
true for some people but I think
Charisma also like someone who's got a
certain charm about them plays a very
very key role in that too and maybe and
maybe in some cases a bigger role
honestly kind of I don't know what the
equivalent what the movie equivalent
would be like Titanic you know Kate
Winslet's less interested I get it's a
movie but Kate Winslet is less
interested in her rich guy on the top
deck than she is in Leonardo DiCaprio
being this sort of charming
charismatic guy who's bringing something
else into her life um what's the
something
else because I think in the answer to
that question
lies what everyone is trying to figure
out that's something else is a kind of
ability to be really
intensely
immersively yourself but I don't mean
that in the way that you know like be
yourself I mean like there's something
very compelling about someone I think
that like this with content online when
someone creates content in a way that
feels very uniquely them and they are
willing to bring their kind of quirks
and who they are to the table in a very
bold and unashamed way there is
something about that that is extremely
appealing I think that's part of your
appeal I think that there is a like a
thumb print to you that is uniquely you
that is unashamedly you and
it makes you someone who's very magnetic
and it's not a kind of magnetic appeal
that's easy for someone else to
replicate because it is just very much
you and I really believe that when
someone is able to you know we can go
Broad and go when you know I think let
me go broad for a minute I
think one of the things that makes us
attractive is unique
pairings so when you are someone who is
highly sensitive and can bring the best
of sensitivity to the table but you also
can go into caveman mode whether it's in
the bedroom or just in life in general
there's a there's a real it's to me the
contrast is extremely attractive it's
the juxtoposition between two things
that you don't normally find in the same
person in the same person it's the same
as someone who on a date can go very
very deep with you but then can be goofy
and make you laugh that's a unique
pairing and when you find unique
pairings there's something in instantly
alluring about that person so I think
that there are unique pairings that make
people very very attractive to me there
is always something about someone who is
really
unashamedly leaning into who they are
and what they're into and what they're
like and the way they see the world that
does more than just showcase the
individuality of that person it it
speaks to us I think on a deeper level
we like see something that we want to
attain for
ourselves and we we would like to be
bold enough or brave enough to be that
much ourselves as that person is themsel
and so I think that instantly we start
to
wonder what's making that how how did
they do that what makes them that
confident how did they how are they
so present with who they are um and I
think that I think that is a almost an a
less spoken about thing
that makes people very magnetically
attractive and I think it often makes
people attractive that we wouldn't
necessarily assume would be the most
attractive people in the room but when
you get in a room with them you kind of
get it you get what it is about that
person and you would never see it in a
picture again is I think one of the
reasons why I struggle with some of the
explanations that are put out about why
some people feel like they're they're
getting no results or it's not working
for them I because I I just feel like
it's more interesting than that I think
it's more interesting than whether
someone is 63 and you know has a certain
body and a certain level of looks and
and all of that I really do I've seen it
yeah I I would say there there is no
doubt that if you stop at the things
that you can put into a dating app
you're really going to be in trouble
you'll have a trophy you'll have
something that other people look at and
say oh my God like that's amazing he's
so good-looking or she's so hot or oh my
God God he's Rich this must be amazing
um but going back to what you were
talking about with Leo and
Titanic uh Charisma I think is the right
answer so I think the reason that the
red pill ends up getting it wrong but
there's so much right there that people
cannot help be attracted to it what the
right is so the right is I want you to
imagine that I give you a black bag and
in the black bag is a thing and all you
can do because you can't see inside of
it all you can do is reach in and sort
of feel around and
so what they're saying is there's uh
really thick skin there's a really long
rubbery uh nose there are gigantic ears
all of that's true but it's missing the
fact that this is an elephant and one
once you get to this is an elephant and
you understand the complexities of that
and you understand what that means and
you understand how their social dynamics
are and all of that that's far more
useful than it's got a trunk and big
ears and thick skin and all those are
true but you really have to take in the
hole and so when I look at the red pill
Community I'm like for so long people
have been describing the elephant the
way they wish it were not acknowledging
that it has a nature and
so you and I I'm older than you so for
me I've really seen this happen but when
I came up it was just Men Are from Mars
Women Are from Venus these are the
differences we just know it to be true
and then we moved into a blank slate
period and people started saying no men
and women they're basically the same
there's no differences it's sexist to
say that there are differences this is
crazy that was crazy making that was
lying not lying cuz I want to believe
that people actually believed it but
nonetheless it was violently untrue and
when the red pill Community came along
and started saying no no no big trunk
huge ears thick skin these things are
all real people were like yes Jesus that
is real women do like height uh women do
care about wealth and and they do and so
the question becomes in why are you so
right about Charisma because you are
right about charisma now I think you're
on the right path with it's somebody who
is being aggressively themselves and I
think what that signal is when somebody
can be
themselves it's because they've seen all
the attack
vectors I'm I'm going to put it in in he
language but I think this is
real when you the reason you have an
intuitive response to somebody that is
themselves it's the same reason that
when a dog rolls over on its back you
know that it feels safe right so my dog
will sleep on her back like that just
from an evolutionary perspective is a
sign of I feel so comfortable and so
safe now when you see somebody do that
in an environment that they don't
control you assume oh they've seen all
the attack vectors and they feel up to
the challenge now when a man can do that
and this is why when red pill guys so
you have to be able to hold frame yeah
that's true but you're not holding frame
to create a false
reality and you never let the woman see
who you really are and you're getting
her to submit to the FR I mean just like
they're right about the trunk and the
big ears but like there's a whole that
they're missing a a totality a wh o l e
that they are missing and that's why I
think it breaks down but when you see
somebody who is presenting themselves in
a way where I have assessed the attack
vectors and I can rise to this challenge
therefore I I am just going to be who I
am because I can take what comes you're
now ooh that person is I'll I'll use
maybe a loaded word that person is of
higher value than other people in this
room okay just by I've seen this for
people that have seen Michael Strahan on
TV let me tell you in person he he is
he's not a little bit more charismatic
than other people I've met in my life he
he almost isn't human like this guy is
the most likable person I've ever met in
my life and you have this intense sense
shine that light on me I want you to
shine that light on me there's something
about when
somebody has shown I'm going to be
myself I've looked at the attack vectors
I can rise to this challenge I have that
much confidence and then there's sexual
chemistry because you're I me they're
who you are attracted to whether it's
guy guy girl girl male female doesn't
matter when there's that added layer of
that sexual tension and then they aim
that light at you oof now you've got
something and that's what I learned I
learned that rolling up with the flowers
and the Poetry I was shining a light
that they walked into and that is very
different than becoming somebody who
people are interested in you turn it on
you start being yourself and then when
you can establish that you have
something interesting to say that
there's more the what you call the
dynamic pairings un pairings unique
pairings you've got that level of
complexity that level of interest and
now I'm interested in you and that if
I'm right and boy do I think I am if I'm
right that a billion Wicked thoughts has
really nailed this and that women it's
the classic uh Beauty and the Beast myth
women want to tame the vampire women
want to tame the billionaire they want
to tame that powerful guy with their
sexuality I mean just to to simplify it
hm yes but doesn't that kind of assume
every woman is at the exact same stage
of evolution on their own Journey that
that no one has gone like for example
there are people that get to a point
where Charisma for them is less
interesting because
it's for them it's just been a marker of
vanity it's been a marker of people
trying to constantly be the center of
attention be the person who wants to
walk into a room and hold everybody with
their stories and they've dated people
like that and they're like they've
almost come out the other side of it
where they've gone actually more than
anything I'm starting to see this as a
sign of insecurity not a sign of a
strong man or an interesting man or a
deep man it's just this is just another
way that people walk into my life and
you know shine brightly and there's not
much to it and so they actually start to
look for much more nuanced much more
subtle things that someone might have
that don't present themselves as the
kind of stereotypically charismatic
person that we think about when we think
about that I'm I feel like the same way
with guys in general like some of the
guys that I thought when I first met
them I was like me and this guy are
going to be best friends like I just
there's something about this guy and
then 3 months later I'm like oh that's
another example of a guy who presents
really well in the beginning is very
good at getting people to like him is
very good at shining a light on you for
that first hour but there's not a lot
there or there's not a lot of there's
there's no real qualities to this person
that make them a great friend or someone
I want in my life and having had that
experience enough time
I I don't value that experience in the
same way anymore I really don't like
some of my best friends are people that
weren't the most dazzling when I first
met them the people that I got to know
and I was like you like this is an
amazing guy and I love and the underated
part of him actually ends up being one
of the big things that I'm like this is
the thing I really appreciate in this
person so I I
worry about the how reductive it can be
because it assumes that everyone is at
the same level of finding the same
things interesting and that no one has
any kind of learning curve with those
things where they come out the other
side and go actually there's a much more
nuanced set of things that I'm looking
for than the
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kind so yes new which is not me saying
tons of people aren't attracted to the
charismatic vampire
I love that um so yeah I think that you
have to you have to understand people at
the averages so I think it is a a very
shrewd PhD level approach to tell guys
um look at the end of the day you and
this is why I say you're trying to
become somebody who is actually got
unique pairings not that they're faking
it or cuz I don't even think that
Charisma has to be loud great but I
think if you understand things at the
averages then you can figure out like
are you on the tail somewhere or
whatever but in the age of um we we are
in a toxic soup right now so I have a
growing level of concern about where um
the culture is headed now I think that
you're going to see people over the next
couple two to three years I think you're
going to see a real push for and I this
first made my radar because of what
Jordan Peterson is doing you're going to
see a real push to return to religion
you're going to see a real push to women
Embrace motherhood celebrating being a
mother celebrating staying at home to to
reopen that option as a valid life
choice because we just move through a
decade or two of that's not cool and
so I think that you are going to see
people really pushing those Traditional
Values and I have a feeling that history
is just this pendulum swinging back and
forth can't remember if you and I have
talked about this before but I've always
been mortified that when when I was like
14 and I read about Roman orgies I was
like wait that was 2,000 years ago
there's no orgies happening now so I was
deeply traumatized that I had missed the
good times yeah uh so only of course now
to to see okay this this is just a
pendulum that that swings back and forth
okay on a cosmic level you only just
missed it yeah yeah right it's only
2,000 years um so going back to the idea
of Charisma can be quiet but you really
do have to become the kind of person
that is interesting you really do have
to understand that if women are drawn to
height what what are you going to do to
compensate because you're behind the
eightball if women are drawn to men with
access to
resources what is that is that the
finger or the moon so there's uh I think
it's it's either DST or Buddhist where
they say don't confuse the finger for
the moon so when someone's trying to
point to a
thing MH know the difference between the
thing pointing and the thing that
they're pointing at now I have a feeling
that wealth isn't quite the thing that
they're looking for they're looking
for potential they're looking for
competence because on an evolutionary
time frame having a deer or whatever the
thing is because through I mean just the
absolutely staggering majority of human
history we didn't even have agriculture
so there was no way to stack wealth like
that so wealth is simply a modern cue to
oh this person knows how to get
resources in the future when I will need
them and yeah I'll stop there my concern
with so much of this
is firstly like certain things I hear
along the way like there will be a
return to you
know maybe you would say a more
conservative state or at least a more
traditional State religion embracing
being a mother embracing staying at home
and so on I don't know
that I
you
know why would
someone why is someone stepping away
from embracing being a mother or
embracing staying at home like what what
led to that I'm I'm I don't I'm not
steeped in the history of that but I'll
give you two words okay the
pill right so controlling the birth
cycle mhm
okay which meant what I now get to
choose I don't have to because when you
are pregnant giving birth and you have
to nurse and none of the Technologies
for breast pumping and all that
exist you have to stay at home and take
care of the kid and right from what I
hear and I don't have kids so I can't
vouch for this personally that
breastfeeding is if not a full-time job
it is a hyper robust part-time
job right so
th this is sometimes I get lost in so
much of the rhetoric around these things
because I feel like they always seem to
point to the differences between men and
women and very I I feel like so much of
the time it ends up just showing men and
women being very very similar if not the
same in so many ways you know
the for a man or a woman having an
exciting career is exciting right it's
fun the idea of being able to go out and
do that and have more control over that
part of my life on the surface at least
just feels like a really important and
good thing because I now get
to do something that brings me intense
fulfillment and joy in the same way that
men have been able to enjoy for so long
as a woman someone now gets to go and
enjoy that and make the most of that and
I think it's still I truly
it see for me it feels
like it's such a challenge and in some
ways such a sad State of Affairs that a
woman can be in a peak moment of her
career where things would just keep
going and then if she also decides at
that same time but I'm running out of
time to have a biological child of my
own that in some way is going to slow me
down to a greater or lesser extent
depending on the person and the way they
decide to parent or what resources they
have that that is going to slow them
down and
that that for me feels like
a it's a biological thing and it's a
we're not you know it might also it's
a cultural thing maybe of us not putting
the right resources around a woman in
that
situation um but
it's I look at that and I go what's the
real difference there between men and
women like they want the same things I
often think about the same you know I'm
going to ramble for a bit because I just
feel like there's different things here
that whenever I whenever I hear all of
it especially from the communities that
talk about these things I always feel
like there's this sort of strange
fetishization of the differences between
men and women you know it's like okay
women and height right but what is the
what is the diff like are we mad that
women are as superficial as men are like
that why is that superficial well it
whether you call it superficial or not
well because I suppose height doesn't
necessarily determine someone's value in
a marriage like if a woman wants a
taller guy we can say it's superficial
to the extent that it's a physical
quality it has no bearing on his
personality and it's not going to change
his value in the marriage there seems to
me a lot of anger around things like
that but a lot of hypoc
too because the same people that
complain that women only want this are
also guys who say but I only want
this and it's uh therefore not a blanket
kind
of I just want any woman and I don't
care I'm not
superficial it's a kind of I feel like I
want a certain kind of woman and I'm
frustrated or mad that that kind of
woman doesn't want me
which to me is the kind of
superficiality that they are accusing
the other side of and that's where it
loses me a bit because it feels like
there is this inherent kind of
entitlement and hypocrisy to it where I
don't want to change my standards for
what I want but I want someone else to
change their standards for what they
want um and then I you know we can get
into the whole sex thing but again
there's a kind of it feels like like
there's then an anger of women are as
sexual as guys are and I don't like that
that it feels like there's something
inherently threatening to a lot of guys
about the idea that you know God forbid
a woman be as sexual as a man is God
forbid she go and have her fun like
that's I want to go and have my fun but
I don't want her to go and have her fun
I want to be have been able to do all of
these things but I don't want her to
have been able to do all of these things
and I don't know on what basis we're
saying it's it
just I don't I how do I say it I I feel
I sometimes feel
like the people saying these things
haven't spent enough time around women
like they haven't spent enough time
being friends with women connect truly
connecting with women truly being close
to women
and and spending long enough with them
to realize that this there's like this
is kind of you and another body this is
not like there is not this thing of it's
me and it's them and they're so
different I've I've the more I know
women the more I kind of feel like God
we've been sold on just how different
they are and I'm not so I'm not coming
from a place of saying there's zero
differences between men and women that's
not my I don't have some kind of
entrenched stance on that so before
anyone says I'm someone who claims there
are no difference between men and women
I honestly don't have a dog in that
fight but I am I I do kind of look at
especially like content on YouTube these
days I look at that what feels to me
like this endless obsession with the
differences between men and women and I
go the more women are given the chance
to do things that men do or enjoy the
things that men enjoy or whatever
the the more I see them being similar in
a hell of a lot of ways more ways than
we try to claim they're different and I
think there are differences I I watch
the differences a lot of the time I
don't think you
know this the experience for me when I
look at it empirically often isn't the
same not always but often isn't the same
for a woman
who sleeps with a guy on a first date
versus a guy who sleeps with a woman on
a first date like if I I I imagine if I
took a sample of a hundred people how
many women after that first date having
slept with the person if they never
heard from them again would feel in some
way some regret or feel used it would be
higher than the number of men who would
say the
same
um but I am I I do somehow think that
these things get overhyped the money
argument I think gets overhyped I think
there is a kind of obsession with you
know I if I was a guy with more money
then I would do better with women and I
think that ends up that's an it becomes
another kind
of you know it's everything goes to the
guys with money and I think that gets
taken to such an extreme that it ends up
it ends up being completely divorced
from the reality of how many women
actually care about whether a guy has
money or not like we live in
LA so there's definitely a decent number
of people here that care if someone has
money and status and so on and that
might have been part of what attracted
to them them to this place
but God the number of relationships I
see again empirically the number of
relationships I see around me where
where money has not played a uh any kind
of a part in why someone was attracted
to that person it couldn't have because
that person wasn't coming from a place
of money or had less than that person so
I I I this is a long and rambling way of
saying I worry about the rabbit
holes that we go down in this area and I
think we can always find evidence for
them but a doctor friend of mine said to
me you know a statist statistics don't
matter to the individual when it comes
to illnesses if you're the person who
has an illness it doesn't matter if that
illness is one and 10,000 you have that
illness statistic doesn't matter to the
individual but I think in a positive way
that can be applied to your love life
it's the if you want to find
love the statistics or the kind of ideas
and stories people have about what uh
you know everyone's attracted to and
what they're doing don't if if you have
fundamental things in place like your
own confidence like an accept of
yourself and who you are like a sense of
purpose about what you enjoy and what
you want to do in life you you are going
to find someone who appreciates you for
what you are for who you are for what
you're doing that you don't fit into
some kind of a mold that would win the
popularity contest in The Mating Game I
don't think is the most important thing
to you to me that's like complaining
about the macro of what men and women
seem to be attracted to it to me is like
complaining about the government when
you're starting a flower
shop you don't need the government on
your side to have a successful flower
shop you need to do what you do really
well on your street and that's the part
where so much of it seems to so much of
it loses me I
suppose okay a lot of threads so thread
number one um
I agree with you very much that the
analogy of worrying about what all women
are like what they want whatever when
you're trying to uh just find one person
is irrelevant and you need to figure out
how do I become the kind of person that
people be attracted to um I am though
one of the fetishists around the
difference between men and women
and the reason that I
I agree with you that there are a lot of
rabbit holes and that I think people are
twisting their ankles in a lot of these
holes and they're just making a mess of
things all I'm saying to people is try
to identify the way the world is now
once you know the way the world is like
if I were 54 I'd be like okay word women
care about height can I give you a a
stat this is insane to me so they
created computer generated images of men
nude they showed them to women and they
said rate them on attractiveness mhm so
the guys were varying Heights with
varying sizes of
penis now if you want to make the woman
uptick him in attractiveness do you
think you make him taller or give him a
bigger penis taller for sure by a
country mile so if you make him like an
inch taller it was like it goes up I
forget the percentage goes up 10% let's
say for every inch and if you have a guy
that's over six foot you have to so I I
don't remember the height of the guy
they compared it to but let's say 5'6 if
you take a guy that's 5'6 and you
compare to a guy that's six foot or
taller you have to double the size of
his penis to get the same increase in
attractiveness that a single inch in
height gets you okay PSA if you want to
be in a thriving relationship remember
all that matters is how you make that
woman feel about herself when she's with
you if you make her feel seen safe
beautiful
heard your money some people are going
to be slow burs which is what you were
describing earlier that quiet Charisma
that takes time but that's harder right
because hey if they can see it right
away that's way better anyway if you
become the kind of man that makes her
feel the way she wants to feel when she
is with you amazing I'm just saying that
does break down into a fairly on average
knowable set of things now there are the
averages and then there are the
specifics and there's a great quote and
I really must look this up because every
time I have to go in this Preamble if I
don't remember who said it uh it was
originally said about men on average
sorry uh any individual man is a total
mystery on average they are a
mathematical certainty same is true of
women individually who knows what she's
going to be attracted to some women I'm
sure super inja short guys but on
average they're a mathematical
certainty what I want to see people do
is stop
fighting against just that humans have a
nature figure out what that is and play
the game to win when you look at the red
pill Community do you feel
like it is ultimately just fighting
against and therefore a recipe for
unhappiness no I don't so the the bad
news about the red pill Community is in
a sea of people saying there's no
difference they're the only ones
pointing out that the emperor has no
clothes my problem is that they never
say the point of a marriage is
to tackle this grueling difficult life
with a partner what did they say
instead that you need to um be a high
value man that can get any woman you
want don't settle for one woman sleep
with at least 50 women before you settle
down if you can keep your options open
to sleep with other women you should uh
women should submit to you you need to
create a frame invite her in
um that gets you 80% of the message what
maybe this is off track from where you
want to go but I'm just so fascinated
by how do they
Square the complete inequality of all of
that like what what by
what right are they saying that they
should have so much more than women
whether it's in terms of power whether
it's in terms of dominance whether it's
in terms of sexual partners whether the
dynamic of the relationship like what
what is what's the reasoning because
it's one thing to point out that women
on mass like taller
guys but where does the jump happen cuz
by the way you could make an argument
that women on mass men on mass like
women with a certain body shape MH like
and you would be right that doesn't make
women worse than men right it just is
the female equivalent of address that
yet of the male thing like I don't know
what there superficiality on both sides
is all that tells me it's interesting I
don't read that as superficial you read
it as a as a as a just a biolog
biological indicator of can be protected
by this means you don't have
parasites fine but that's that we accuse
that of being the the reason men get
angry with that is because it feels
superficial whether you argue from an
anthrop anthropological standpoint or a
evolutionary biology standpoint that
that's because of I could be protected
by this person better
the at on a human level what bothers me
about that is I'm a good guy and it
doesn't get any credit because you'd
rather go for for that guy who's a worse
guy but he's taller right that's what
bothers
us yeah so and there's the female
equivalent of that which is you don't
care that I'm a good woman you just want
me to be a certain weight or have boobs
of a certain size or have a certain kind
of ass like the men the idea that you
know like the demonization of women in
that respect is the part that bothers me
because I go what's the difference this
happens on both sides why people on that
side are so hurt by what they where
wherever it comes from what they
perceive to be a devaluing of who they
really are in favor of something that
appears
superficial is men can be accused of
just as
much
so where does the where's the leap to
and
therefore we should be able to dominate
women and we should be able to tell
women what to do and we should be able
to dictate what's okay for a woman to do
and what's not okay for a woman to do
and that they should have less sexual
partners than us and that they should
have less freedom in the marriage than
us and where what's
that okay um so the first thing I will
address is the reason that people
respond with anger and frustration to
the um what you're calling superficial
elements with no acceptance of I'm doing
exactly the same thing is something
called the psychological immune system
so the psychological immune system's job
is to keep you from committing suicide
so if you are rejected because you are
short and there's nothing you can do
about it and that feels like a terminal
thing and now I have no value because
this woman that I want rejected me
because I'm short psychological immune
system is going to kick in and say [ __ ]
her she's
shallow and instead of which I would say
is the healthy response um okay word I
have a deficit understood I'm going to
find my other points of
Leverage and the world is not a fair
place and so a lot of this stuff like if
you want to lament anything lament
intelligence it it is
ungodly that there are people that have
an adiq
bro they can't stuff envelopes I I mean
that literally the the US military will
not accept somebody with below 84 IQ I
think is a cut off that means you can't
even get shot well like you are a bigger
distraction I can't even like put you in
front of bullets because you will create
more
problems that terrifies me there but for
the grace of God go I I did not do
anything to earn whatever intellect I
have bro that sucks but it is and so now
the question becomes all right you've
got the you've got people responding
poorly to this situation some are
getting resentful and bitter others are
uh like when the a a true tyrannical
patriarchy takes over and we have a
problem and women are legitimately not
given the same rights and they are
tucked in a corner and they're um
instructed to do as they're told that's
hor horrendous horrendous people need
only look at the woman I'm married to
cuz I can tell if people are clipping me
out they're they're going to think I'm
something that I'm not I am married to a
badass entrepreneur who stands on her
own two feet makes her own money is a
[ __ ]
badass
however
if if she did not without faking it look
at me like I'm powerful we couldn't be
together because I have an evolutionary
algorithm in my brain that makes me
respond like a drug when my wife looks
at me like oh my God like you're so
powerful you're amazing I love
that I I want that I need that I'm going
to seek that I'm going to find that and
if thankfully I get that from my wife we
are equals let me assure you but we are
different and so I look at her her with
just amazement at the things that she's
good at that I'm not and thankfully she
looks at me in amazement at the things
that I'm good at that she's not and
thankfully both of those line up with
the evolutionary algorithms that are
running in our brains where we want to
be rewarded for those specific things so
the red pill Community you were saying
what gives them the right okay it
depending on where you're at on the
Spectrum like there are really goofy ass
people
in the red pill community that
are they are currently stunted in their
development and I will be very excited
to see them
mature then there are people that have
matured quite a bit but I'd still put
them in the red pill
Community the people at the low end
they're in the grips of the
psychological immune system they feel
rejected they feel less than and they
need to lash out they don't understand
they're doing it it's pure emotion they
are angry and that anger feels like
Truth The Red Pill gives them the words
to say oh this is why she's a [ __ ] so
it's not an abstract concept I can
actually tell you she's hypergamous she
just [ __ ] wants money she dates over
and up and uh I'm too short and it's all
superficial and she just wants to be
taken care of and to monetize her ass
and uh right that's going to be they're
stuck they're they are not seeing the
world the way that it really is but they
have words now for the psychological
immune system to leverage to explain why
they're right and she's shallow for
rejecting them but as you get up higher
you're going to start hearing people say
things like uh this is a woman's nature
she will be happier having kids she'll
be happier raising those children and
tending to the home and um she is my
equal and we're just different right
now you will hear me say some of those
words which is why I'm like there's
enough real in the red pill Community
it's not just going to go away but
when I hear she will be happier
yep there isn't there I can't help but
here there's just
rampant
patronization embedded in that that I
can't you can't take what she says at
face value that she wants you need a man
to tell her what she wants CU she really
doesn't understand what she wants she's
running around doing all of her things
that she's doing but she doesn't
understand that what she really wants is
this thing that I as a man know she
wants there I can't I can't imagine the
the other way around being like men
feeling that that was in any way
tolerable that a woman was saying you're
too dumb to know what you want
essentially or you're too let's say not
self-aware or not aware of your nature
to know what you really want how about
to
toxic because we hear that a lot that
men are too toxic yeah
fine but there's plenty of that like I
can't argue that there's not plenty of
to toxicity in the mail like I you
exhibit a everything we've been talking
about in this interview that comes from
the extreme of that which I can't help
but I mean look I'm not deep in what the
world of I'm not deep in I I I'm not
highly highly aware of red pill I
learned much of my red pill stuff from
how much you know about it but I'm
definitely also not deep in whatever the
female equivalent of that is but I would
be I would be shocked I'm sure there's
plenty of hatred towards men in those
communities but I would be shocked if it
took the same
form as it seems to be taking on the
male side the same level of aggression
the same level of no because men and
women are
different okay so women's Savage
reputations
hash me
too social media in
general
tyrannical uh
authoritarianism is in this I was this
was where I started the conversation
with Jordan Peterson was like this feels
like
when
female um aggression becomes
pathological it manifests as uh you
can't do that there are things that must
not be said there are things that
um are just too Beyond The Pale to even
discuss but you don't think that comes
from men to because I feel like there so
many men who do that when when male
aggression goes pathological it's the
Mongols it's kill rape pillage it's
horrendous horrific when men go wrong
they go [ __ ] wrong and I feel it very
prudent of me to plant the flag right
now and say that uh I'm as mortified as
you are when guys are like oh she
doesn't know well enough bro the last
thing I'm going to do is tell my wife no
no no what you bless you sweetie you're
not able to think through this problem
this is what you need to do my wife
helps me think through problems we are a
pair so I want her insights I want her
intelligence that's where this all
breaks is they're not looking for a
partner they are
and look this now we're into my
bias when the red pill community at the
high end where they're they have a lot
of good points I think and this is where
it would be very useful to have somebody
that truly believes this to speak but uh
I have a feeling what they would say is
you need a brotherhood like fellow
soldiers building businesses together or
legitimately I mean there's two Wars
going going on right now so uh that that
Brotherhood fills that and that from a
historical perspective it is almost
certainly true that marriages were
economic and family in nature they were
not um about love and uh like this is my
best friend and you're getting
everything that you ever need from one
person um so they would
say what my wife and I do together is
build a family and we divide and Conquer
and we are equals um I'm the leader in
the house and so yes I make decisions
and women I don't know if you argue this
but literature seems pretty clear women
are are hypergamous they want to dat to
cross and up so they are perfectly happy
to date somebody more intelligent than
they are um men are not and if you look
at the stats when a woman out earns a
man dude divorce rates go up domestic
violence goes up the use of erectile
dysfunction medication goes up I I think
men are pretty simple if they don't feel
powerful you are in trouble so anyway uh
so that's where I think they break down
now I don't know I I have long had a
hypothesis about why I am so good at
long-term parir
bonding I have a feeling I've never
gotten myself tested but I have a
feeling that I have just an unbelievable
amount of receptors for oxytocin and
vasopressin so when I bond with my wife
dude that [ __ ] is my everything that is
my everything I I would kill Slaughter
maim for my wife um which is a very
masculine way of saying that I love my
wife it definitely is yeah so uh yes I I
think they miss something they they miss
a very critical piece but they are
giving
voice to something that I think men feel
intuitively even if they aren't able to
put words to it which is everything I'm
being told does not feel right and that
feel right to me is a discrepancy
between the algorithms that they have
running and uh The evolutionary
algorithms and what they're being told
don't uh be aggressive don't uh be hyper
ambitious don't be um physical uh sit
down pay attention and we're creating a
world where there's it's something like
by the year 2035 I'm making that up but
this is what I'm about to say is
directionally correct though not
literally by the year something like
2035 50% of everybody in America will
grow up without a father in the house
who yeah terrifying so it's one of those
where you now have a just female Le
Society that's a bit of an overstatement
that doesn't feel right which is why I
say that in a weird way but there's
there's a tension there that
is just as an overly masculinized
Society can tend towards pathology so
can and a I won't even say that uh I
will say you need both and when you
don't have both you have some level of
muted
characteristics
H I've