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Language: en
I've heard a really interesting take on
what hell is and hell as The Story Goes
is when you die you meet the version of
yourself that you could be what is your
biggest fear in terms of the gap between
who you are and who you hope you become
before you die I think it's uh
lacking the courage to be my authentic
self 100 of the time really I think
that's what it is because for so long I
lived not all the times but in certain
times when I felt triggered
attacked abused or misunderstood I would
sometimes respond
from a lack of courage in order to
please make people like me or not be
upset with me specifically in Intimate
Relationships
and I would abandon myself I lack the
courage to stand up for what I truly
wanted to say how I wanted to live
the action the actions I wanted to take
out of fear and I think if I lived until
I died for the rest of my life and I
continued to live that way I that would
be hell because it was hell I
experienced it it was like suffering
inside it was painful physically I would
have a ball of pain in my chest
continually off and on throughout my
life plus I would feel anxious it's
because I wasn't living in a full 100
courageous mode all the time how do you
think that's going to play out in your
life do you think that leads to more
success and obviously I'm asking these
questions in the context of the book and
understanding you've got this formula
that people can follow to really achieve
something so in reading the book and
certainly in the way that I live my own
life it's like I'm doing a lot of
internal work but I do want it to
manifest in the real world and that's
yeah it's a big driver for me that
doesn't necessarily mean wealth but it
does mean there are things that I want
to do that I want to accomplish and
there's a phrase in sailing called
velocity made good and so there's one
one thing to like make all the changes
so call that moving the sale it's
another to move the sale well so that it
catches the wind and takes you where you
want to go yes and so I'll be proud of
myself if I stay focused you got to move
the sale like don't get stuck in my ways
but I will be disappointed if I don't
catch the wind if you don't get the
results yeah externally
this is interesting you're talking about
this because so in the two years ago a
little over two years ago I started
healing different parts of my thinking
because I think healing starts with
thinking and the emotions tied to the
thoughts so I started creating new
meaning around thinking and thoughts
that were causing me pain and suffering
the hell today as opposed to Hell later
and
as I started to actually step into the
courageous thinking and acting in
alignment in my actions
in the last two years I've doubled my
business I have more peace and
Connection in my intimate relationship
that I've ever had in my entire life
I'm healthier I'm happier
and I feel more expansive even though
I'm doing less
so it was when I started to do the
deeper inner work and heal the thinking
tied to the emotions so that my body
could be more at peace
that's when the external results
expanded now here's another thing
you and I have a mutual friend who you
know is a massive success who
didn't get number one on the New York
Times bestseller list yeah right and
there's an expectation around that now
we kind of all like had a little chuckle
about it because he he still crushed it
um ridiculous sales piece yeah of course
I was talking to him afterwards and I go
you know
how do I of course it's going to be
disappointment when we have an
expectation there's going to be a
letdown there's going to be a sense a
moment or moments or days of frustration
and whatever it might be
but this is literally the first time
I've been practicing this and I'm not I
don't want to set this up that it
actually happens this way but this is
the first time where when I wrote this
book
I finished it and I said this is the
best I could do right now I'm really
proud of the effort the results that
I've created for this piece of art this
work this is exactly what I wish I could
have read 10 years ago when I was
stressed five years ago when I was 16
when I was 21 through breakups this is
the book that wish I had that would make
it clear for me on what steps to take
so I'm proud of what I created there I
have specific goals of the sales I want
to get numbers I'm going to hit press
all these different things
and
I am I'm releasing into the world
whatever happens like all I know is I
can show up and do my best every day
from the moment I finish this with my
promotional efforts with my energy with
my communities to get the message out
there and if it doesn't hit number one
I'm okay I wouldn't have been able to
say this before
I would I would not have been able to
say this and it doesn't mean I don't
want that again I hope that the universe
doesn't teach me another lesson like
okay you're not going to get a new list
um but I feel like I would be a I'm a so
much better piece with who I am knowing
that I gave my best effort and I'm
showing up working my butt off that I'm
releasing the results in the universe
and I kind of did that in the last
couple years in my business and my
business has doubled why do you think
that is
because I created more peace within me I
created peace within me and I stopped
wasting my energy on things that I can't
control and I stopped wasting energy on
trying to people please everyone I was I
think I got really I channeled my inner
Tom and I just said no to everything
that did not support me or serve me I
said no to meetings I said no to people
that just didn't make sense right now
not because I didn't like them or
something but it just wasn't in
alignment with my mission at the time
and I said yes to me and I said yes to
spending more time with me and less
people as opposed to saying yes to
everything and being as distracted
and by doing that the energy really
built with the business that I have with
the media that I have with all the all
the things we're creating and the
revenue doubled
and I feel like oh I'm more in my flow
I'm more in my sweet spot I'm more in
alignment with who I am and who I want
to become
and I feel like that's been a big thing
but I don't believe I would have been
able to get there if I didn't heal the
way of thinking
and and really heal the stress inside of
me that was causing me to have less
energy so once I started to do that I
felt like I had this expansive energy
abundance Clarity peace freedom
internally which allowed me to create
externally in a different way and again
I'm not at the level of you know so many
people like yourself in terms of
business results and success but for me
to see it double which I've never
doubled before except for maybe the
first two years like 10 years ago
to see it double because I want inward
because I focused on being a hundred
percent courageous in using my voice
when in the past I might have shied back
when someone asked me specifically on
intimacy I might have been like I don't
know if I'm going to tell the whole
truth because I don't even get set at me
I want to be mad at me is this fear of
Judgment of like someone not liking me
or loving me caused me to hold back
and when I went all in
on myself and not abandoning myself
that's when everything expanded there's
a couple of really interesting Concepts
in there one the idea of abandoning
oneself which will come back to you but
I really want people to understand that
that there's a reason that this ends up
becoming a result that you can achieve
and if I could get people to understand
that as you change your mindset it isn't
a woo-woo thing right it's like this is
really gonna
um
you will to use your example you will
end up spending your time on things that
are actually going to yield the results
you want and so you talk about this in
the book it's like you need to have
Clarity you need to know what you're
going for now if you know what you're
going for and you're making decisions
that don't move you towards that then
the question becomes why and so if
you're trying to people please now you
have a bifurcated path of goals this was
the biggest breakthrough in my life
there are a few things in my life where
it's like this is a demarcation point
and my life looks fundamentally
different after this moment than before
and it was when I realized I was
worshiping two different Masters what
were those Masters so one was what I
really believed was my driving goal
which is to be successful and then the
unknown goal that I had but was actually
driving a significant amount of my
behavior was I wanted other people to
think I was smart and so I'm I'm arguing
with the guys that end up becoming my
partners but at the time they're just my
employers and I am like I need to to
have them agree that my idea is the
right idea so that they'll realize that
I'm smart and so why did you need that
though
why why did I need them to think I'm
smart yeah oh insecurity so I was
unfortunately doing what so many of us
do and I was Outsourcing my
um my esteem to other people now this
gets it's very nested and I'll try to
make sure that we come back up to to the
core idea but we are both the shout and
the Echo and one of the reasons that I
have a hard time speaking in bumper
stickers is that there really is Nuance
so you can tell people don't worry about
what other people think but it won't
work right because we're a social
creature and you are both the things you
do and how you feel about yourself but
what you do and how it echoes in the
world will influence you just it is the
way the human mind is wired so there are
all these real consequences to the
things you do so going back to I'm I'm
fighting myself yes not even realizing
I'm fighting myself I have a known goal
be successful an unknown goal make sure
other people think you're smart and so
I'm in this moment where I'm arguing for
this idea uh subconsciously because it's
going to make me feel good if I can win
because I'll think well if I convince
them then they'll realize that I'm
really smart so anyway but inside my
mind I've got this voice screaming this
is the wrong idea and this will move you
backwards your idea yeah oh 100 so in
what you're fighting yes and so when
they finally acquiesce and are like okay
we'll do it that way and and see what
happens they leave the room and I'm like
what have I done like do I want to be
successful or not and so then I finally
okay pull these both into my conscious
mind figure out what I was really doing
realize that I had these two competing
goals and so to your point heal the
thinking first because if you have a
wound or whatever that's making you
think less of yourself or think you need
other people to think that you're smart
that's it it has an impact in your
ability to achieve your goals and so it
drives you it also can drive you that
wound can drive you
because I think it's really important
it can get you to take out Extreme
Action to accomplish external results so
it can be the drive to look good to win
and to be right and to be needed or to
be smart
but at what cost is that drive serving
you and what price are you paying so
maybe okay we're successful but my idea
was actually the wrong idea which hurt
me which made me you know which hurt my
relationship to my partners because I
was fighting them so much against this
as opposed to seeing the best idea and
saying the best idea wins and that helps
me being successful and shifting that
mentality so for me I was driven to
succeed because I wanted people to like
me I wanted people to accept me and to
fit in and belong because I felt like I
had no friends
and so that that wound drove me to take
Extreme Action in sports and then in
business to belong to project an image
so that people would like me or want me
on their team or be accepted
and it worked it drove me to get those
results
but it came from a wound so it never
felt like it was fulfilling it didn't
feel like it was enough and I still
never felt good enough smart enough
talented enough all these different
things to belong because I didn't belong
to myself so how can I belong somewhere
else
so I was always just kind of like on
edge because I still didn't fully accept
acknowledge and love who I was
and so if there's a wound
that I don't accept whoever doesn't mean
I accept and love myself and I'm
complacent no I'm always going to be
growing towards something a mission
but if I'm doing it from a wound or a
lack of
self-love then the results are not going
to give me more love
it might give me more results but I did
that in sports and then in business I
thought at one point one of these goals
I accomplished is going to make me feel
like I love myself it didn't
didn't it it wasn't until I went back to
Healing the memories that caused me to
feel less than
creating new meaning and mending those
memories and telling you stories about
why that actually needed to happen and
the benefits they gave me and how they
support me now in my future and how I
didn't like them and it was painful and
it was challenging and I don't wish them
on anyone but I can live with a wound
where everything triggers me and I feel
like everyone's against me or I can mend
those memories create new meaning like
Victor Frankel says and actually come
from a place of love peace and Clarity
of my vision having a meaningful mission
that inspires me not based on a wound
but because I want to make an impact
and I think that's when everything
starts to shift at least it did for me
when I was able to do that and it's been
a 10-year Journey it's not like it
happened overnight I mended some things
and then it fell back in other ways I I
took two steps forward and took steps
back
but I feel like the last couple years
the pain in my chest and the Strangling
in my throat that I used to feel because
I would abandon myself I wouldn't act
courageously with my thinking and belief
I would act to please there was still a
wound in relationships you know when
people would ask me for stuff I would
just say yes as opposed to being like I
authentically don't want to say yes but
I'm doing it
out of a wound to be liked to not deal
with stress
as opposed to saying okay thanks for
thinking about me but it doesn't make
sense right now
I hope you're doing well
and since I've been doing that the last
couple years it's given me a lot more
freedom
again you've got to deal with other
challenges but at least I now belong to
me as opposed to others I want to give
people
um
container to put all this in and I get
asked a lot about how do I get unstuck
I'm stuck I'm not making the momentum in
my life that I thought I would
your book The greatness mindset feels
like a manual for getting unstuck yes
and the things you're saying now to me
are the keys to getting unstuck so
figuring out what are the silent unsort
of known things that are pulling you
that are driving you in the wrong
direction talk to me about this idea of
not betraying yourself because I think
this is really important going back to
you if you want to accomplish what
you're going to accomplish you're going
to need efficiency of action if nothing
else and so saying no to the things yes
don't move you towards what you want
become problematic so
what does it mean to betray yourself
you betray yourself when you're living
in a powerless mindset
versus the greatest mindset so first is
to identify which mindset am I living in
and it can be a moment-to-moment thing
and it can be that I live more in the
greatest mindset today or this week or
this year or was I allowing anything
from the power of this mindset to hold
me back now as powerless mindset just a
belief that you can't do it you're not
capable people won't like me yeah here's
what it what it means to be in the
powers mindset and one of the things
that I love about you Tom is is you're
very like clear on
not something being right or wrong good
or bad but is it useful I usually I
heard you talk about that one time is
this useful for me towards my mission
right is this useful for me to feel the
way I want to feel so again this is not
making these people wrong or judgment or
blame or good and bad
is it useful in your life and the
something I took away from you is using
that word useful but if you are
in the power of this mindset state of
being and again it could be a moment
that you could get out of
one you lack a meaningful Mission you're
not clear on the direction you're
heading and it doesn't mean you need to
know how to either Gonna Change the
World or cure cancer and you need to
know what you're doing for the rest of
your life but you need to know what
you're doing right now for this season
if you have no clue what you want to do
at least being clear I'm in a season of
Discovery okay cool then that's your
mission so just being clear of where
you're headed I'm going to season up
trying a bunch of stuff I'm going to
seize them not trying anything at least
you know what you're doing and you can
get there so if you lack a meaningful
mission for me I just think the more
clear you can get the easier it is to
get there so in one sentence what is
that mission for you of this season of
life we all have seasons and it can
change over time but lacking a
meaningful Mission you're going to feel
more powerless you're going to feel
stuck
if you're controlled by fear and if
you're crippled by self-doubt you have
those things have power over you so
you're more powerless
if you conceal past pains this is the
thing I think there's twenty thousand
books on success and mindset
I don't see a lot of people talking
about concealing past pains and I'm not
saying you need to be someone who opens
up to the world about the things you've
been through I've done that as an
example to try to inspire the men just
to do that in their lives I don't think
you need to do that
but if you're with your why do you think
it works
why do you think it works what yeah can
to stop concealing your past pain well
when we conceal our pain that means
we're ashamed of something we're hiding
something we're afraid that if someone
knew this about me they wouldn't like me
accept me or love me and that's one of
our biggest fears it's just a weak
Foundation to build on
yeah
um like if someone knew of the shame or
pain about me I'm just curious why so
somebody's trying to hide that
I'm not saying you need to do this but
you don't have to open up to everyone
but is there shame or pain inside of you
why to protect ourselves you know for me
I didn't talk about being sexual abuse
for 25 years because I thought no guy
would ever hang out with me I wouldn't
have friends I want to be on a sports
team no one would buy a product from me
I thought my life would be over no girl
would be with me if they knew this about
me it was so much shame and insecurity
tied to it
and that caused me to be triggered
defensive projecting and and
working from a wound
as opposed to Freedom
and so when I got to the space of being
able to talk about
a lot of my shames a lot of my pains and
it was a process it wasn't like all
overnight
to my closest friends and family
I felt wow they actually sent me even
knowing the darkest parts of me okay now
I can really be myself I can really be
authentic in the world
but if I can't share something I'm
afraid of
then that thing has some type of power
over me that thing is holding me back
it's shrinking me because I'm afraid to
speak it into existence of what happened
this to me feels it goes back to this
idea is it useful or not so I think
people and look I do battle with my own
mind as much as anybody else but
it really is inefficient and I came up
with a rule in my life a long time ago
where I would do something wrong and I
would feel like I needed to punish
myself for it and was that useful no and
that was the thing and so I made the
rule that I will no longer do or believe
anything that doesn't move me towards my
goal right and the reason that I said
that and it's not me trying to abandon
truth or anything and I can actually
Define truth in a way that I think
people would find useful I was doing it
because as I I didn't
think that I could trust myself to come
up with something
um that made sense even though I was
pursuing truth so for instance I would
feel like you deserve to be punished for
this and so you ought to punish yourself
and so I would and it would take all
this time and I would feel bad for days
and then I was just like why
ought I do this like I don't quite
understand this is a me versus me thing
yeah and I get like saying hey I
shouldn't do that anymore because it's
not I don't like the way it makes me
feel it's hurting somebody else cool
then stop doing it but this like days or
weeks or endless punishment isn't taking
anywhere so why am I doing this exactly
and so okay cool kick yourself in the
ass as much as you need you to make sure
you don't do it again but no more yeah
and I think there's there's a
distinction here it's like okay if I can
commit to doing something seven days a
week and I I don't do it for three days
in a row being I'm not hurting someone
else necessarily if I say I'm going to
work out every morning and I miss my
workouts but beating myself up for not
doing it is not going to help me either
especially if it makes me miss my next
workout exactly and it makes you eat
more cookies and candy and be like I'm a
horrible human or whatever it is that
doesn't serve you but when I'm talking
about the the past pain stuff is like
the stuff that happened in your past you
don't want people to know about you if
you conceal those things not the things
where you beat yourself up although you
could say that too if that's something
you're ashamed of I'm just trying to
figure out if it fits into the same
thing it seems to me the reason that
that is problematic is that it creates
emotional suffering in you yes and it
puts your mind on busy work like your
mind's just [ __ ] spinning on the
saying oh God do I go into this business
meeting if they find out like so you've
got this exactly some amount of your
cognitive energy is going into something
that doesn't make sense wasted it's not
serving you so again it's it's holding
power over you uh and then defined by
the opinions of others the power of this
mindset again we need to be in
relationship with people so we need to
make sure that we have people in our
lives in order to get things done but
when we are defined by every opinion of
other people we are more powerless
uh and then drift towards complacency
again this is not about
for me it's not about okay I love and
accept myself and I'm going to do
nothing with my life it's about being
very clear on what you want so if you
are in any of those
uh areas and you can just reflect am I
in a state where I'm doing any of these
things or these things cause me
resistance if so then there are certain
things to overcome those certain things
have power over you doesn't mean you're
not going to be effective or get results
or be a good person it just might be
holding you back from your energy so the
goal is to get clear on the awareness of
that first and move towards the
greatness mindset which is to be driven
by a meaningful Mission and there's a
difference between success and greatness
with 30 years of my life I wanted to be
successful and I accomplished for me
what was successful in sports in
business
and I was still unhappy I was unhappy I
was miserable I would actually beat
myself up all the time call myself
horrible things all the time
right after I would accomplish the big
goals that I had I'd be angrier after
I'd accomplished them but I was thinking
my whole life well when I'm successful
I'll be happy but I still wasn't happy
well let me go for the bigger goal in
sports let me be a pro athlete let me be
in the USA olympic handball team now let
me go for business now let me do New
York Times let me do all these things
but why am I still not why am I still
beating myself up why am I still unhappy
and unfulfilled why do I still ruminate
at night
why do I still stress out about little
things when someone cuts me off I get
triggered and scream at people why what
was the answer I was wounded and then
when there's a wound that's open if you
poke it it's going to hurt you and
you're gonna react ah you're gonna
whatever comes whatever's inside of you
is going to come out so there was anger
resentment fear and security self-doubt
inside of me so when you squeeze a human
being what comes out is the emotions
inside
if I had peace and love and harmony what
would come out is okay I can handle this
situation because that's what I have
inside of me
so I had to learn all these things the
hard way many times it takes me a lot
longer to learn things in Utah and so
I'm Dreaming I feel like the slowest
learner
but the greatest mindset is someone
who's driven by a meaningful Mission and
I and I
if you can get clear in one sentence
what that is for this season of life
that can be in the next three months I
don't care whatever season you're in
just get clear on what direction you're
going that is the greatness mindset you
turn fears into confidence for a long
time in my life in my 20s I would create
these Fearless
all the things I was afraid of and
insecure about all the things that held
me back that I resisted and I just said
I'm not going to be an effective or
useful human being if I don't Master
these films these fears so I started
knocking them off one by one one by one
all the things that held me back and
started going all in on them public
speaking I could not speak in front of
five people without being terrified
crippled sweating humiliated beating
myself up because everyone was more
intelligent around me
so I said this is the first one I'm
going all in I found a coach and a guide
that helped me every single week for a
year overcome the fear but I took
Extreme Action I went to Toastmasters
every week I would study and practice my
speeches on my own I would work with a
coach to watch my game film of me
speaking and I would reflect and act and
change and adapt to improve and overcome
the fear of public speaking I did this
in many different things
but if you have a list of fears and
you're not actively working on
overcoming them then you're living more
in the powerless mindset you're gonna
those things will continue to consume
you in different areas of your life so
if you want to be more effective you got
to turn fears into confidence you
overcome the self-doubt you know I
believe self-doubt is the killer of all
dreams when we doubt ourselves it holds
us back in some way the fear of failure
success and judgment is the three causes
that that cause us to doubt ourselves
three how do you get to the other side
of that is it just we did a Toastmasters
just do it do it do it well this is the
the whole process of the book is is
going through the process of how to do
it but the first one is getting clear on
your meaningful Mission and figuring and
identifying which mindset are you in
currently and so for me I was never
afraid of success or failure I wanted to
succeed and as an athlete the coaches
would teach us that you must fail to
learn how to be successful and I would
also knew that uh you know Michael
Jordan missed 50 of his shots and the
greatest Hall of Fame baseball players
failed 70 of the time and they're in the
Hall of Fame
so they were successful failing most of
the time
and so I knew that failure was just a
part of the process but a lot of people
when you ask them if they're afraid of
failure and it's why they haven't
launched their book or done their show
or put themselves out there in whatever
they want to do it's because they're
afraid of failure the second fear is
success I was never afraid of success
because I wanted success but I wanted it
from a wound to fit in to belong to be
liked to be loved and so when you get
something from a space of a wound it's
still never going to be enough
do you think there's ever going to be a
time though where you don't have
self-doubt
I think there's going to be a time where
I say
um I'm gonna I think there's gonna be
lots of times where I say here's a new
thing I've never done
um I don't know what I'm doing
uh
why is that not stressful for you where
that's those same exact words are
devastating for some other people
it's not stressful for me because I just
know the context I'm getting into
something and I'm not going to be good
at it right away do you still have a
negative voice in your head though
that's like the only thing you suck
yes sometimes and so again it's not like
I have this perfect mindset of all the
time I think it's more interesting if
you fight with it and have tools to deal
with it then oh no three years ago I
hung it up on the shelf and I never have
to deal with it no and I think this is
going to happen at every stage and
season of Life As We shift our identity
as we sell a company as you get into a
relationship if you become a father if
you do all these things there's going to
be new things
I'm letting go of an old identity and
stepping into a new or part of it is new
right maybe there's some of the old but
I'm stepping into something new
uh one of my fears right now is speaking
Spanish like I'm learning I'm practicing
but I still get very like uncomfortable
in settings trying to speak it because
my old fear of man you sound like an
idiot is just coming to the surface like
man you just sound like a child right
now around all these adults who are
fluent Spanish speakers but I know that
I'm a beginner and so if I beat myself
up trying to be an expert
when I know things to it takes me a
little longer to learn certain things
so I have compassion of myself and I
just say it's okay you know let go of
the result of needing to be perfect
right now just put in the best effort
just kind of like with this book it's
like I gave it my best in this in this
moment in this season
and I'm okay with that and that doesn't
mean I'm not trying to improve and get
better but I can be okay with the effort
that I'm putting in right now and I can
understand that I'm around a bunch of
Spanish-speaking people that have been
fluent their whole lives and so I can't
expect to be in two years perfectly
fluent so it's it's just learning to
navigate and manage that and accept
being uncomfortable constantly which is
not fun the truth is hitting your career
goals is not easy you have to be willing
to go the extra mile to stand out and do
hard things better than anybody else but
there are 10 steps I want to take you
through that will 100x your efficiency
so you can crush your goals and get back
more time into your day you'll not only
get control of your time you'll learn
how to use that momentum to take on your
next big goal to help you do this I've
created a list of the 10 most impactful
things that any High achiever needs to
dominate and you can download it for
free by clicking the link in today's
description all right my friend back to
today's episode one thing I want to
acknowledge for people is that there
really are consequences like you
probably really do sound stupid and
they're probably really are people
judging you for it 100 yeah and so my
thing is the part of what people have to
get comfortable with is it really is
having the negative effect that you're
you're afraid it's having experience can
you deal with that 100 and once people
can go oh I see there really will still
be consequences I really will still have
a negative voice in my head and I still
have to Anchor around yes but the whole
point of a greatness mindset is there's
this meaningful mission that you're
going after you need to fight through
that you need to stay on task and
unfocused I I have this feeling that a
lot of people think oh Lewis finally
doesn't have a negative voice Lewis
doesn't have to deal with this anymore
and so I just need to get to Lewis's
position and they don't realize no what
you're doing is putting together tools
that allow you instead of wallowing in
insecurity for three days weeks years or
that that insecurity stops you from
speaking in front of people you have the
same discomfort you do it anyway people
do think less of you in the moment but
you keep going and so then on a long
enough timeline people like God damn how
what why was Lewis able to do that and I
can't
and when I when I
am defined by the opinions of others
because they will have when I was Salsa
dancing three times a week as a a tall
white Gringo guy in a Latin world
with Spanish music Spanish language
all Latinos and I'm the only white guy a
foot taller than everyone standing out
like a sore thumb in the middle of the
Dance Floor I was being laughed at I was
being made fun of
um it was humiliating to step on girls
feet it was uncomfortable and I was
sweating crazy when I would go out there
for the first few months because I was
so worried about how I looked I was so
defined by other people
but that's the reason why I didn't go
dancing for the first three months
because I was defined by the people when
I finally took the step on the Dance
Floor after three months of going and
watching not like a weird creep but
almost like a creep on the sidelines
just kind of watching and being
mesmerized by like the music and the
passion the experience
and I took a step out on the Dance Floor
after three months
that's when I started to overcome the
opinions of others when I went out there
and here's the funny thing there
probably were people like laughing and
making fun of me but I was so in my own
world of just like trying to figure out
the basic steps that when I eventually
looked up after 10 minutes no one ends
up looking at me they were all doing
their own thing and so I was like okay
they're not all staring and pointing at
me the entire time maybe for part of the
time they are
but I have a vision of being able to
travel the world to any City and any
country in the world not know the
language but be able to dance the
language of salsa and build community
and connections and friendships and
experiences
and I was led by a meaningful mission
I had this dream in my mind that one day
I want to be able to do this and for 15
years I have traveled the world and I go
sometimes alone by myself when I'm
traveling or speaking and I'll find the
best salsa clubs and I'll have the night
of my life because I can go up to the
best female salsa dancer I can
confidently ask her
Can we dance and I can have an amazing
five-minute experience dancing with
someone because I now know the language
by overcoming that fear
by overcoming the self-doubt
by overcoming that opinion of Judgment
of other people and being uncomfortable
it took a long time
by being uncomfortable consistently and
then becoming fluent has given me so
much more joy and pleasure and
experiences and fun and memories that I
wouldn't have had had I let fear in
self-doubt [ __ ] me in the opinions of
other crippled me and so that's why it's
so important to have a meaningful
Mission with Spanish
I've been trying to learn Spanish for
over 20 years I took it in high school
college I tried to always tutor like
I've tried it and it's been the thing
that's held me back the most but just
because I haven't become fluent in 20
years doesn't mean it's going to stop
because I have a mission and a dream
that when I have a child I'm going to be
able to speak fluently with my kid that
my kid I want my kid to be fluent in
Spanish and English that when I'm able
to travel to to Mexico or any Latin
community that I can speak on their
level that I can resonate and connect
with hundreds of millions of people who
speak a different language that I can
tap into people's hearts and souls and
connect emotionally and meet them where
they're at not expect them to understand
some white American who feels like he's
privileged speaking his own language
that's just my vision and dream to be
able to one day go to Mexico on my own
not with my girlfriend
walk into a store and have a full
conversation with a grandmother who's
working the store and ask her about her
life in Spanish for me that is a mission
that inspires me now
it's been 20 years of suffering and
Challenge and embarrassment but I'm
getting closer I can see I can taste
like it's a little bit of taste I could
have there oh I had a little moment with
someone for like 20 seconds wow I don't
feel like a complete idiot okay let me
go a little farther and a little further
and maybe it's going to take me another
five years 10 years
but as long as I'm proud of the effort
that I make today of what I can create
just like I did with this book and other
projects I'm proud of the effort today
as opposed to beating myself up and
blaming myself and calling myself an
idiot
I feel proud about who I am of
overcoming something that is hard for me
and that gives me more confidence has
ambition given you more or taken more
away from you
wounded ambition has taken a lot for me
being ambitious to prove people wrong to
look good and to succeed to fit in has
hurt me more than has helped me I've got
a lot of things that I'm proud of on my
highlight reel of life
but I wish I didn't get them the way I
did I wish I didn't suffer so much in
order to get them to have them
because
the book the last book I did about the
masking masculinity
it didn't hit any lists it didn't it was
a New York time bestseller it didn't
sell a million copies it did it you know
it's a fraction of what I would have
liked it to do but it continues to
impact men and help help men heal
and I have a deeper appreciation for the
work
even though it didn't hit some huge
highlight reel but I was because I was
creating that place from trying to
really serve people no matter what type
of list it had so ambition
from a wound never really felt
like the best thing
but ambition from a place of a
meaningful mission is what it's all
about do you consider yourself to still
be ambitious 100 percent
totally ambitious what what is the
difference either in the texture of how
it feels or in the day-to-day movements
that made one and I mean I get it the
the initial thing you're going to say is
because it was coming from a wound but
like what what is this feel like as you
move into okay that isn't such a wound
it's manageable or maybe it's completely
gone but
I think a lot about ambition in my own
life yes my assessment in my life is
ambition has given me far more than it's
taken but it has taken and ambition is a
cruel mistress
and while I don't perceive myself as
acting out of a wound I do see myself as
acting in the grips of a biological
imperative from the time I was a little
kid I've just been hyper ambitious yes
nothing brings me more joy than so
you've gone through a couple things I
would call compelling Futures to use
Tony Robbins language you're so right
you have to have something that excites
you and when I think about how much I
can endure and how wonderful I've made
my life because of the ambition but
there are times where I'm like what the
[ __ ] am I doing like this is crazy
so I'm curious as to you know I knowing
you off camera you strike me as very
ambitious it's one of the things that I
like so much about you yeah
how is ambition done well
again there's no right or wrong yes
there is it's what's useful yes there is
it's what's healthy I will say if it's
healthy and useful it is right right if
it is unhealthy and useless it is wrong
using my language
yeah I think I've I I think I've done I
do my best again I'm an imperfect human
being but I do my best to catch myself
from judgments or comparison of what is
good and bad right and wrong and instead
say
what makes me feel the most authentic
and gives me renewable energy and peace
and harmony
so I'm trying to create it from that
context
can I still be extremely driven and
focused on the biology inside of me
pulling me to create and drive and build
Empires and all these things but doing
it from a place of peace and Harmony in
my efforts
that's what I'm talking about and for me
can I call [ __ ] sure okay so
by doing this my business is doubled yo
yes so I I have no doubts results what I
want to know is when are you when do you
feel the most peace
when I'm the most authentic
because I'm not lying to myself yes
I don't feel I don't feel I won't feel
peace if I'm poor
peace just a lack of internal conflict
for you
no I definitely want to have money in
the bank and have like
and be progressing in my life so those
two fall under the umbrella of peace
if I'm making an impact on my mission
and I'm improving my mission I'm getting
closer to my vision
if I feel Harmony inside my heart which
means I'm in alignment with my Integrity
which means I'm courageous my actions
which means I'm working on my health all
these different things
uh and I feel peaceful and I have a big
mission I have a big ambition to serve
100 million lives weekly
that's my mission it's interesting you
and I really experience life differently
uh it may be that we use different words
that's entirely possible or it may be
that you've discovered something that I
have not yet discovered and I can open
you up and you can change my life right
now but here my mission is to serve 100
million lives weekly that's not a small
Mission no it's huge and I it's not me
it doesn't mean I don't want to make
money I want to make money I see the the
where you and I approaches differently
so here here is uh as you describe the
things you want to do they're so similar
to what I want to do so for now we'll
just sort of round it to you and I
roughly it manifests differently but we
have roughly the same thing we want to
have a whole lot of people impact people
constantly yeah
um that brings me my highest highs and
my lowest lows
it does not bring me peace I don't why
not again these are just my words why
doesn't it bring you peace so well let
me Define peace so peace to me is
emotional Equanimity meaning I'm just
I'm at ease meditation brings me peace
um
when Lisa and I've just had sex and I'm
laying with her that's peaceful yeah
it's [ __ ] awesome my mind is quiet
the world is still my ambition is
dampened it's there's there's no sense
of I'm trying to accomplish there is
only like I'm here in this moment now I
really looked at there were two paths
before me path number one was Buddhist
Detachment I could live a life like a
monk I could remove because I actually
agree I think the Buddhists are right
all suffering arises from desire and
attachment you want something you're
pursuing something that happened wanting
it yeah and all of yours all of your
non-sort of broken bone suffering is
gonna and even that like not to derail
in your brain pain and suffering are
actually in different places so all of
your suffering comes from an expectation
I don't want this broken arm to hurt
that's suffering it may still hurt but
you know I'm not accepting it
and so when I think about peace I would
be far more peaceful so if I had sold
Quest just a ridiculous amount of money
I never need to work again ever ever
ever
I work more and harder now than I ever
have in my life so I I am often asking
myself oh what are you optimizing for so
I had these two paths monastic
Detachment the end of suffering that
comes from that or massive engagement
massive impact
and I knowingly chose to get go down the
massive impact path but it has not
brought me peace and isolation there are
times for sure one of the harmony I like
that word harmony okay I don't think
isolation is people here's the thing for
me
the most suffering would come from
knowing my that I have so much potential
and I'm complacent yes that would be the
most beating the person you could have
been that's [ __ ] interesting knowing
that I have something to offer to other
people yeah to the world in some way it
doesn't have to be grandiose but
whatever way it is knowing that I have
something to offer and I'm just taking
it easy and chilling all the time for me
that would be the ultimate suffering
could you ever see yourself pursuing a
life that wasn't grandiose
I feel like grandiose could look
different for people but I I could see
myself that's defining I'm not going to
let you squirm out of this Define
grandiose
ah
well my thinking of what I'm hearing you
say grandiose is pursuing something
great and making a big impact on the
world in a big way that's focus in on
the word big yes
it's like not hey I helped that one guy
that is not grandiose it might be
beautiful but it isn't grandiose I think
it would have to be a long time away
where I'd be like okay I did it multiple
times or I did it once or I did it for
however long and it made the impact that
I think I was supposed to be make and
now I'm just going to transition the
impact in a different way a different
season
so it'd be like doing this for I don't
know however many decades and then be
like all right I've reached my
meaningful Mission now it's time to
reevaluate what is the new mission of
this season of life
maybe it's a different type of impact I
don't know maybe I just want to hang
with my grandkids for two hours a day
and then Mentor you know world leaders
and it's like impacting the impactors
even their [ __ ] you're back to
world leaders you're not like it's
interesting
it's whatever the in it's whatever the
potential is that I feel like is inside
of me I wanted to make sure that I'm
maximizing that potential that doesn't
need to be I have to be the one doing
everything it could be I'm going to get
wiser and I'm going to impact 10 people
who are doing everything
you know it's a different transition of
impact and service yes I'm playing with
this idea so please don't think I'm
trying to put wisdom across but I think
it's very interesting I think that many
many certainly men want to play Big 100
and I want to play Big I do but I can
still be peaceful in myself yeah sorry
I'm not trying to meld these two things
I'm just saying it's inch I think you're
trying to play Big which I am very
inspired by I want to play Big agreed
and but it doesn't mean I have to stress
my whole life agreed so now help me yes
I have not found the path where I can go
as big hard and fast as I want to go and
not not constantly sort of because I I
have developed tactics for ooh the
stress isn't fun anymore and now I know
how to download myself back right and
I'm not doing less that's not what I'm
doing I'm adjusting my mind I'm thinking
different things heal your thoughts
first right so it all comes back from
that but I'm very curious
are you striving to never sort of pass
out of that so that meaning where you go
from this is manageable this is peaceful
this is harmonic harmonic harmonic to
like this [ __ ] is not fun anymore what
the [ __ ] am I doing or are you getting
good at like it's it's it'll hit a peak
but I know how to rapidly pull it back
down yeah I think it's the whole analogy
of like
I don't know if this is a religious
terminology where it's like instead of
asking God or the universe for Less
workload it's asking for a stronger back
does that turn you on that turns me on
it turns me on no idea how much but I
don't think it's about not for a lighter
load pray instead for stronger shoulders
God damn but here's the thing
I think it's
it's all comes down to the emotional and
mental shoulders and learning how to
navigate our emotions in the world with
the scale of people and problems that
come our way so that's when I think of
Harmony and peace not of like I'm not
going to be around any problems or
stress or isolated that's not what I'm
talking about it's about how can I be
the alpha gorilla
in chaos and just walk through and just
move things around when I need to
as opposed to be screaming like a monkey
all the time freaking out when there's
stress and chaos and fighting no I just
know I've got broad shoulders
and I can see my surroundings and I can
be like okay you guys need to break up
this fight you need to come over here a
little one and you can just stop doing
this and be able to navigate it and not
let it trigger me
that's what I feel like it's it's
becoming more of an emotional
aware human as every new season and
level comes to me and that's why I feel
like there will always be some type of
uncomfortable feeling or doubt there'll
be a moment of like okay I don't know
how to speak Spanish this whole room is
speaking Spanish I don't understand
so of course I don't understand but can
I be confident and comfortable
not knowing everything and being okay
with being the outside person here in
this space can I still hold myself
confidently and just listen and pay
attention can I be okay with not being
okay
and I think that's the game it's like
learning how to do that at different
levels I'm sure you learned that when
you've had your first 20 employees you
probably felt comfortable at a level and
then you got to 50 and it's like ah how
do I manage this you have to create new
systems you have to learn something new
about yourself
emotionally manage it then 500 employees
and a thousand it's like ah I'd be like
what do I do how do I manage this you
had to go through that in the
uncomfortable phase and now you can
manage it you've got broader shoulders
emotionally and mentally to face those
things
and I think that's just it I keep
leveling up into the meaningful mission
and figuring out whatever fear you have
you got to go all in on this stage to
support you to not break down with such
a big mission so for me I like having a
big mission I don't think you need a big
mission but I think you do need a
meaningful mission when I was broke on
my sister's couch I couldn't think
Beyond
making enough money to get my apartment
that was the mission of life and I only
had the skills at that time emotionally
mentally
to to do that one thing I couldn't think
Beyond it
but once we get to the new level then we
can start to do those things one of the
things that I think about is creating a
healthy identity with ourselves that's
part of the greatest mindset
when I used to be self-critical beating
myself up punishing myself probably
similar to you in some ways
it wasn't a health identity it wasn't a
healthy identity when we constantly are
the ones
saying mean things to us if we had a
loudspeaker
in the world and everyone heard what we
said to us
we'd go to prison or a mental hospital
or something
we'd be canceled online for hate speech
whatever it is self aimed hate speech
self-named hate speech we would be
canceled we would be
in a blocked from every platform if we
if what we thought about ourselves and
the nasty identity we have
or if we said this to others it would be
horrible I read this really interesting
story as a kid it really hit me there
were these animals or aliens that they
could
um communicate telepathically I forget
how they did it but you would meet
somebody and as custom went you would
interface with each other and you would
know everything they were thinking and
they would know everything you were
thinking and because of that like trust
wasn't a problem like as soon as you
sunk up with everybody and I've always
thought that if people could hear the
internal dialogue of each other you'd be
like oh okay so chasing sort of the
perfect mindset is not the game
or maybe a better way to say that the a
perfect mindset is not one free of a
negative inner voice it's one that knows
how to handle and minimize the impact of
said negative energy I think so because
I think there's going to be moments from
my God I wish I could I wish I didn't
make another mistake but it's like when
I ruminate on it for days and weeks and
punish myself
that's not a healthy identity and so 10
years ago I had a very unhealthy
identity again I projected confidence I
projected success I projected ah I know
what I'm doing and but inside I was just
a scared little boy I was angry I was
fearful I felt trapped I felt insecure
all these things how did you take
control of that did you start making a
created a new identity
created a contract with myself a written
and signed contract again there's lots
of different
ways we can create this we can do games
and exercises and therapy and meditation
and psychedelics there's lots of
different things we could unlock us into
new identities or into a new way of
becoming because it's an art of becoming
something we have never been before or
maybe we've only been momentarily how do
we create a new identity so I created a
contract with myself where I said aloud
as loud as I could
the things that I wanted to step into so
it wasn't the thing I fully was yet
I was angry I was resentful I didn't
forgive I held on I was competitive I
was win lose I wasn't win-win all these
things it was 10 years ago
and I realized that got me certain
results but it also had certain negative
side effects to it it had certain
consequences like you said
and so I created a new contract with my
life and I said I am a loving passionate
wise man
because I felt like I was insignificant
I felt like I was stupid I feel like I
wasn't intelligent so I said you know
I'm wise
and I was authentic to me because smart
wouldn't have felt right it would have
been inauthentic because I didn't feel
smart but I actually did feel wise in
how I was interpreting the world and how
I was navigating human beings and how I
would pick things up Street smarts so
it's not lying to myself and I think a
lot of people use these false identities
that they want to step into
but it's using the word that does match
with who you want to become and who
resonates with most of you right now so
I said I am a loving passionate wise man
because I would get angry when people
would trigger me so I said no I'm going
to be loving
so what does that need to do I need to
get to the root of why I'm angry okay
then I started that process 10 years ago
I started revealing past pains I started
going on with my fears I started healing
those past memories all these different
things
I'm passionate I'm not going to be
um holding myself back when I feel
triggered I'm actually going to be
passionately excited
and I'm wise loving passionate wise and
this became a contract that I've had
with myself for 10 years not an
affirmation not a mantra you could call
it that but a contract signed with
yourself because you feel like you have
to earn it
or stay true to it it's just a different
psychological twist to saying this is
who I am becoming and who I will be by
stepping in and acting on it on a daily
basis and do you so when I fall back
into I haven't changed it
that doesn't mean I
I may change in the future now I feel
like a loving passionate wise man I I've
been practicing and applying that on a
daily basis or mostly daily for the last
10 years again not a perfect human being
sometimes you fall off track but
whenever I fall off track I go back what
is my contract who am I I am a loving
passionate wise man and that has created
a a new identity for me in a healthy way
as opposed to I'm a stupid what an idiot
I am I'm so angry at the world ah I need
to beat myself up in your words that I
loved that is not useful and effective
towards a meaningful mission that I'm
driven by that only holds me back that
doesn't support me or the people around
me because now everyone else has got to
focus their energy on me and walk on
eggshells when I'm angry and frustrated
I'm a loving passionate wise man that's
creating a healthy identity and we got
to figure out whatever it is for you
right whoever you are this thing
watching
think about those thoughts and
things that you criticize about yourself
now I'm not saying you shouldn't give
yourself feedback and accountability and
responsibility for growth I love
feedback I give feedback to myself all
the time I was talking to you about this
before where I've got multiple coaches
in my life that give me hard feedback
because I know if I want to hit my
meaningful Mission 100 million lives
weekly I've got to keep growing and
overcoming it's not areas you have
coaches in
business coach nutritional coach Fitness
coach
emotional coach
emotional coach therapist or is it
something different she's not a licensed
therapist but she's a a a coach to
couples and individuals of their
emotions interesting business coach are
they like looking through your numbers
and no just more strategy yeah mostly
strategy like a business strategy
business strategy yeah are they like a
BD guy it's branding Marketing sales
business just kind of like strategy in
terms of like here's what we're doing
can you can you look within the business
and and hear some of the stuff we're
working on and why don't you take a look
at this have you tried this so we've got
coach I've got a coach for myself and
for my business partner my col uh that
he gets sharpened in feedback not from
me but from someone else looking outside
saying uh you're not being a good leader
here
um here's how you could handle this
differently giving feedback sharpening
it sharpening nutrition I guess someone
who sends me my nutrition stuff and
keeps me on track based on my health
Mission and my fitness as well my
workouts so and kind of coaching me on
what's working what's not working at
adjusting the game plan
so for me
I don't think I could do anything great
on my own I just don't I don't think I'm
that good
um and I don't think I can do everything
at a high level on my own consistently
Michael Jordan LeBron James Kobe Bryant
they all had great coaches to get them
to their first championship and when
they won the championship they didn't
say nah thanks coach I got it from here
next year I'm gonna go play this game on
my own for the whole year and I'm gonna
win my own Championship I don't need you
they actually went and hired more
Specialists and said help me give me
feedback on other parts of my game my
training my nutrition my sleep Novak
Djokovic I think he spends like a
million dollars a year on coaches and
nutritionists and experts to guide him
and I bet he would say it's one of the
big reasons why he stays at the top not
thinking I've won a couple of these
grand slams and now I'm I don't need
anyone to help me I've got it on my own
I just feel like it's really hard to get
to the top and stay there with all the
pressures of the world without support
again it doesn't need to be hiring
coaches but I think having
accountability having a great partner
having great friends or having a good
personal Advisory board that you can
lean on to support you in these areas of
your life I just think for me that's
wisdom for me because I know I can't do
it on my own so that's the way I look at
that and then the last thing is takes
action with a game plan
that is the greatness mindset this is
something I think you do probably better
than anyone in the world you're so clear
on your mission and your game plan of
execution and you take massive
consistent action most people are take
most people don't take Massive Action
and then when they do they're not sure
what they're taking it for or they're
taking action for a wound to try to fill
something and then it's never enough
so when do we get clear on the the
mission we're on based on
a mentality of greatness versus success
and again success is more selfish it's
not good or bad right or wrong it's I
want to win to for me I want to make
more money for me I want to accomplish
this for me greatness my context of it
is accomplishing your success your goals
and dreams and empowering and lifting
others up with you creating the win-win
environment and being service mentality
in the process of your success that for
me is what all the greats do differently
than people that just succeed
what is up my friend Tom bilyu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a 10.
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging
stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
all right I've just released a class
from Impact Theory university called how
to build Ironclad discipline that
teaches you the process of building
yourself up in this area so that you can
push yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
man that's really fascinating I like
your your quest story
inspires me I think when I met you was
eight years ago or something in a minute
and you told me I Go why'd you start
Quest you said something like I'm
paraphrasing you had a sister or someone
in your life who's mom and my mommy
sister was dealing with something you
said I want to rid the world of this
pain this suffering this Health
Challenge that they experience I don't
want anyone to experience this pain
yes you wanted to be successful but you
were trying to do something great and
you did do something great because you
had a meaningful mission to end this
suffering in the world to create health
and Harmony and peace within people's
bodies so that they can live a better
life and that was part of the driving
success that made it great and I think
it's really cool and you have the same
type of ambition now is to serve and
impact people and get people out of the
Matrix and give them freedom
and give them new possibilities and
again it's not just about you being
successful it's about you yes hitting
your goals and your results and things
you want in the service of others and
that is greatness
it's I think it's absolutely critical
because success is a game of attrition
it's going to be so hard I haven't
figured out how to do it without stress
a lot of stress uh and because it's so
difficult
and I don't think that we should seek
Comfort no
because that you should seek difficulty
in service of something that matters you
shouldn't make things hard just to make
them hard but in service of something
that matters you should seek difficulty
but that will leave you asking the
question why am I doing this
and if you don't have a compelling
answer you're really in trouble yes and
because we are a biological creature I
think it's hardwired into us what bucket
that answer must fit into and that
bucket to me is that I'm not only doing
this for myself I'm doing it for other
people
and I think that people really have to
find that intersection of I care about
this thing whether I should or not is
irrelevant I really care about this
thing it's exciting for me but it also
lets me help other people yes if you
have that then you'll have the energy
that you need to push forward and if you
don't have that you will hit a point
where you can point out yeah yeah people
it's just it's
Louis you'll know this well it's so
overwhelming and it's such a it's this
weird Confluence of uh there's real
consequence so if I lose at this there's
meaningful impact I am both the shout
and the echo so while I may be confident
in who I am this is really going to rock
that the world's perception of who I am
so I think about this a lot with um you
and I are both living in the public eye
so I've been on camera now for seven
years you've been ten plus so
you've said a lot of things like I'll
take it to relationships for you right
you've been in and out of relationships
and so we as your viewers have gotten to
watch you grow like from a relationship
to relationship it's really been
fascinating yeah and for me I think
about it in terms of I've told people
I'm building the next Disney
if you uh struggle in your relationship
it has consequences people are like
whatever they think of course and should
I fail to build the next Disney people
are going to be like oh what the [ __ ]
like he said and he couldn't pull it off
and you know what does he know and so
it really is so there's all of that at
play that takes a lot of energy to do
something you are going to have that
negative voice in your head you're going
to have proof that you aren't as good as
you need to be yeah and if you don't
hold on to the word yet and stay focused
on why can get better it's it's why I
call it the only belief that matters the
only belief that matters is that if you
believe if I put time and energy into
getting better at this thing I actually
will get better that's the Ultimate
Security blanket for me because I no
longer need to believe that I am good
I need to believe that I can become good
come and go there and that really
matters in terms of if hell really is
being confronted with what you could
have become if you put in the time and
energy
um it does beg an interesting question
of why do we care what we could have
become and
I have my answer what do you think
nice try if I were on YouTube I'd answer
first you're on my show Lewis house
you're gonna answer why do you think
humans care about that what's the
question again why do humans care about
whether they
make good on their potential
I don't think everyone cares about that
I think people that have a voice inside
of them that is screaming
you're supposed to do something great
cares about that
and you think some people escape that
or maybe they can't hear it or maybe
they're not listening or maybe it's not
screaming loud enough or maybe it's not
the season for them to hear that
and so they're just in a different
season so again this is not a make wrong
good or bad you know conversation this
is
for most of my life I had a voice inside
of me and I don't know where this voice
is coming from I don't know if that's
God or just my own biology or the
trillions of uh you know
alien cells that are on me right now
that are like feeding on my body like I
don't know what it is something
happening where I felt like keep going
keep going you're supposed to do
something more even when I was insecure
and doubting and feeling like why is
everyone against me and why is everyone
this and why am I stupid and why all
this stuff
something to say keep going now I was
listening to my ego or I was driven by
my ego of fear and insecurity to keep
going and succeed to try to make
something great but that didn't work and
so I had a shift over the last decade
and really over the last two years more
and it's a constant journey of shifting
into
Harmony and inner peace in the
discomfort so it doesn't mean I'm not
going to experience discomfort like you
were saying it's like I still feel
stress and discomfort and challenges in
business and life and all these things
but I feel harmonious inside of myself
most of the time even under those
stresses I'm like I don't like this or
it's painful it's frustrating but at
night I feel Harmony and I feel peaceful
because I'm showing up the best that I
can and I'm being courageous in my words
and my actions and that's where I feel
Harmony and peace
now do I wish things became faster and
my results were quicker yes do I wish it
was bigger now yes it's not so can I
beat myself up what's that going to do
for me it's not useful like you said why
do we care about
potential
maybe just because all the conditioning
and all the people saying it all the
time but I just feel like
I don't know why we're here of this
lifetime I don't know why but I want to
make sure that if that is the big reason
why I want to give it my best
and I don't know if anyone truly knows
why we're here I know why
but when you die maybe there's a
different reason maybe there's a
different answer uh different questions
I will be
flabbergasted if that ends up being true
but if cool now I get to know exactly
but uh you created your why I have I
think we all get to decide why we're
doing what we're doing 100 we get to
associate meaning to everything and a
woe is the man that does not take the
time to associate meaning to what he's
doing but I think it's really
interesting I am maybe surprised by how
many people have not come to the same
conclusion that I've come to but the
conclusion I've come to which seems just
self-evident to me is that
what there there is something in the
universe that I don't understand that is
very clear because I cannot conceive of
nothing nor can I conceive of something
from nothing
so there's something I don't get
something like God or something like
yeah but even if it is God God is not
anything I think a human can conceive of
right but I think that quote unquote God
is knowable in the sense that the only
thing that really matters to our
existence is a set of rules
were created and then boom set into
motion and now everything follows from
those rules so when I think about why we
want to transform our potential into
actual usable skill set and I really
believe Lewis in the way that people
believe in God they believe if you just
understood the truth your whole life
would be better I really really believe
I want people to be happy and I want
them to thrive and there's one thing if
they fail to understand they will never
be happy they will never Thrive that
you're having a biological experience
yes and once you understand look if I'm
perfectly willing to accept that
evolution is how God works through us
like I to me it's not a debate about
that it's just we are a way our brain
works a certain way and Body Works a
certain way yes and once you understand
that there are levers being yanked in
your brain and that those are
predictable levers things get a lot
easier and so I think the reason we care
about Transforming Our potential into
skill set is
that's how we as a species became the
most yes it's how we became the most
dominant apex predator the world has
ever seen is
the animal that happened to build those
things in we're what they call an active
species so we don't just sit we don't
stay in neutral we are constantly trying
to do more be more push ourselves
because that is our strategy our
strategy is adaptation it is not the
strongest of the species that survived
nor the most intelligent but rather the
most adaptive to change so we are the
ones that are like constantly pushed to
the edge of our abilities and then we
grow and adapt and we push out yeah if
we didn't have that impulse to to push
and to go beyond in fact the question I
was going to ask you earlier is I have a
feeling that your ability to handle
stress gets bigger but you don't live in
the center anymore you go to that edge
again yes and then you exactly you make
any sense and you go to the edge and you
push and so it's that to me is The Human
Condition now we're all on a scale to
your point we're all very different and
so sure maybe you and I are way pushed
to one side and some other people are in
that scale but I don't think anybody
escapes suffering if they don't do it
and I think people that sit around and
do nothing they have a deep cavity of
meaning in their soul and because of
that it doesn't feel right they start
doing drugs whatever they are going to
suffer there's no one just like no one
makes it out of life alive no one gets a
free lunch no one gets to do nothing and
not be punished emotionally now you can
say they're being punished by God
biology whatever you want but it's not
good some consequence you know as the
universe is always expanding
and evolving when we're born we can't we
keep expanding and growing and changing
constantly right that's the cells are
changing we're growing as babies there's
pain and things like that I used to have
knee pain all the time because I grew
really fast
um and so my knees were always in pain
because my bones were just kind of
stretching
there's going to be pain
whether I do nothing or pain whether I
do something beyond what I'm capable of
right now and my goal is to keep going
Beyond and growing with the pain so that
it doesn't feel like it's suffocating me
and overwhelming me so it doesn't feel
like my bones are stretching without me
wanting them to stretch and I think a
lot of people aren't willing to do the
emotional and mental growth
their bodies are going to constantly
change and eventually die all but me and
you are eventually going to die and it's
going to take that back
until now no one is yet
be death yeah so maybe but as of yet
it's not possible it's undefeated death
is undefeated unfortunately but uh
but I just feel like if we a lot of
people aren't willing to do what you do
which is focus on your mindset and your
mental growth so diligently and I think
that allows you to expand your external
results because you do that
and for me when we can expand our
emotional growth with the mindset
it brings more Harmony for me it doesn't
mean I'm not going to have more problems
more stress more challenges it just
means I'm going to be able to feel
harmonious and manage it a little bit
differently is my vision and my goal
because I don't want to feel suffering
and pain while I'm also making a massive
impact
I know there's going to be challenges
and breakdowns and judgments and all
these things are going to happen but can
I go to bed at peace at night for me
that's what I want
man if you figure it out let me know
because I've been doing it man these
last two years
no no times where you're going to bed
stressed or no I mean it's not a perfect
every night but ask Martha and it's like
I go to bed pretty peaceful almost every
night now it doesn't mean I'm not
thinking about what I need to do the
next day and I want to create so what
how do you
do you feel like you just operate within
what you're capable of at the moment is
it that you think you have realistic
goals no because I don't think reaching
100 million lives weekly is realistic I
think it's kind of stupid so why don't
you suffer when it isn't happening
because suffering stems from being
attached to it happening right now
instead of releasing it and knowing that
it's either going to happen or not I'll
give an example
I really wanted to be an Olympian I
wanted to go to the Olympics so my whole
childhood dream when I found handball
and I moved to New York City to learn
the sport I moved to a city just to
learn how to play the sport with a dream
of going to the Olympics
within nine months I made the USA
national team and I played in my first
Pan-American championships now this is
not the Olympics but this is a big
tournament of North and South American
national teams countries from North and
South America and I got a taste of what
it would feel like to be an Olympian
because I played against two Olympic
teams Brazil and Argentina and I got a
taste and I got to experience it and I
got to see it I was like this is what it
looks like
the qualities they have the energy the
coaching the whole the movement that's
what it's going to take to get there
I spent eight years on that dream
and that never happens we never
qualified you have to win the Pan
American games to go they only took one
country from North and South America
so it was just really hard for us to win
it's really hard
now we're probably gonna go uh in you
know six years we will go when it's
hosted in the USA but I'll be older by
then it probably won't be able to make
sense for me to do it then be 46 or 47.
it's a young man's game
but just because the dream of being
Olympian didn't come true for me doesn't
mean it wasn't a dream come true doesn't
mean the eight years of lessons growth
connections friends wearing USA on my
chest and singing the National Anthem in
Germany in Israel in Brazil in Argentina
in Mexico in Uruguay and Canada
and playing against Olympians it was a
dream come true even though the dream
didn't come true
so I've accepted that I gave it my best
and just because the results didn't
happen the expectations didn't happen
that I wanted I'm at peace knowing that
I gave everything I could in my control
and influenced everything around me to
my abilities to make it happen while
running a business
which was extremely hard to do and I'm
at peace knowing I give my best and so
do I wish I was an Olympian yes
but is it useful to hold on for that is
it effective in my life right now to
hold on to that not happening it's not
useful anymore
to hold on to that suffering that it
didn't happen
it's hurting me if I hold on to that if
I beat myself up
so I just try to say man I'm really
grateful and I'm appreciative of the
lessons and experiences I had
and now I'm on this new mission
and I'm trying to get close to it every
day
I love it man it's amazing I I will be
honest I play
I'm not even sure what the right way to
characterize it is I there are
definitely times in my life where I'm
very stressed out stress is my one Vice
for me it comes from an echo of maybe
being too aware of the consequences I
think a lot about my team my employee my
obligation to them
um let me ask you this question
interesting not to cut you off no please
let's say you had
Disney now everything in Disney's
created times ten yeah theme parks and
whatever it is you wanted to do times a
million yep right now would you feel
Harmony and peace if you had the vision
now we have to separate I wouldn't feel
peace almost certainly
uh Harmony I think the way you define it
yes so Harmony I think would you feel
stressed still I mean it's like Horus of
course of course so Louis here here's
um this is a perfect example if you read
the biography from Bob Iger I'm reading
it right now it's amazing I hope I'm not
giving away a part coming up I hope
you've already read this I've been read
all of it yet uh he was running
everything when a kid got eaten by an
alligator it's crazy yeah and he had to
give tours an open Shanghai you know how
stressful that would be like 100 I just
I can't imagine so while thankfully
nobody's kid has gotten eaten by an
alligator at impact Theory it it isn't
always the sort of abstract like oh I
just need to let it go it's like
sometimes it's like hey this thing
didn't happen and it just cost the
company a hundred thousand dollars and
I'm like [ __ ] that's really probably let
me rephrase stress
because I want to make sure that we're
on the same context language-wise
there's going to be stresses constantly
yes so it's not eliminating stress
but at the end and Bob Iger had you know
horrible time of like having to call the
parents when he was in Shanghai and he's
exhausted in the whole thing right and
the sadness and I'm you know I'm a
father I'm a grandfather I couldn't even
imagine the pain you're going through
yeah on my watch right as the CEO of
this company him saying I wasn't even
supposed to call them because illegal
and I shouldn't have done this
at the end of the day I feel like yes he
had all the responsibility all the
stress and hundreds of thousands of
employees and money and all shareholders
everything it's going to be stressful
but does he live in acceptance and peace
of who he is is he
does he love the fact that he took the
time to call that person knowing this is
his responsibility or to the lack the
courage
did he hold back
did he speak courageously and openly and
generously with that family and then be
present with his responsibilities and a
million other things did he do his best
and is he stressed
because of the stuff he has to handle
that's one thing and that's going to
happen but if he's stressed about who he
is as a human not giving his best that's
another thing so are you in harmony that
you're giving your best and you're not
beating yourself up and you're doing the
best you can courageously even if
there's consequences but you're not
abandoning who you are that's what I'm
speaking about it's not about
eliminating all stress and just being
peace and everyone's doing their jobs
perfectly that's never going to happen
for any of us oh you could build that
life and here's what I can't tell not
this much ambition well yes exactly and
so that becomes my question so it's not
about stress man it's not about
eliminating all stress and having no
stress it's about are you do you love
and accept who you are in the effort you
gave in this day yeah I have a
hypothesis that stress is going to be
the it look I don't live in stress but I
have stressful days so let me be very
clear I wouldn't do something if I
always felt like that but there are
these moments where it punctuates with
stress and I have every time I go
through it I'm like should I optimize my
life for being stress-free and every
time I'm like no no like as much as it's
a pain in the ass it feels ultimately
like a small price to pay for greatness
it is yeah and that's why you're not
going to eliminate the stress but if
you're beating yourself up about your
decisions constantly is that useful it
is nice and necessary that's what I mean
by Harmony and peace yep I don't mean
like again
I don't think stress is going to leave
my life and the bigger it becomes the
more responsibilities the bigger the
weight truly more money and I don't know
I know and I don't know if you I don't
know if you've watched the documentary
yet the weight of gold no watch it in
the next month like Olympic gold Olympic
gold
and this is why when I was studying this
the fear of failure and success and
judgment were the three causes the three
things that cause us to doubt ourselves
the most and the root of that is I'm not
enough of each one of those the fear of
success I never understood
but wasn't until I watched this
documentary where it made more sense a
lot of them not a lot but there's a
handful of Olympic medalists
specifically gold medalists who've
committed suicide within a year
afterwards who go overdose who go
extreme depression okay I still don't
understand the fear of success so what
exactly I never understood that either
because I always wanted it but I wanted
it from a wound so it still wasn't
enough yeah the fear of success is the
responsibility and the weight of the
pressure of needing to live up to this
expectation of now I need to repeat the
success and what if I fail then I'm
going to be judged so no one's going to
love me it's the
crabs in a bucket mentality you know
analogy have you heard this but yeah
yeah brilliant all now people want
something from me is it authentic were
they afraid of that before it happened
or are they afraid of failing now that
it has happened
it's also a loss of identity it's like
okay now this has happened now my
Olympics are over it's like now I'm not
gonna who am I now if I can't go pursue
this thing again I'm just going to be
known as the guy but now what right it's
not having another meaningful Mission as
well afterwards or being able to handle
the pressure of the success
It's a combination of a lot of things
for people but I think um it's an
interesting documentary weight of gold
uh to understand the psychology of
success for athletes that's why you see
a lot of uh you know just because you're
great at a successful one thing doesn't
mean it's going to translate the other
thing this is the stat from the NFL
years ago or was in some magazine about
78 of NFL players go bankrupt four years
after they retire
so just because they were successful as
an athlete doesn't mean it's going to
translate into the psychology of
managing all this money that you and
fame that you have now
so learning how to manage life
accordingly
it can be stressful again More Money
More Problems you know I I know the
situation of what's happening in LA
right now with mansion taxes and all
these things and you know you have a
nice home but the idea of selling it
it's like you could lose money right now
it's like all these things it's
stressful if we don't know how to manage
it properly and it doesn't mean the
stress is going to go away
um but that's my thoughts on success
yeah yeah that's very interesting all
right talk to me about relationships you
went into saying Spanish you want to be
able to speak it to your kids so I
assume we're marrying a Latina like well
I'm in a relationship with Martha and
that's that's where it's heading yes
okay have you guys talked about are we
throwing around the m word oh yeah she
well she knew I mean she knew she asked
me early on like hey I don't want to get
I don't want to just date you unless
there's going to be a marriage in our
future so
yeah I'm not planning to be in this
relationship without that eventually
happening okay yeah and kids are in the
picture yeah how do you think that'll
change things for you
it's funny I was just talking to Lisa
about this
I think it will
cause me
to become
something greater than what I am right
now
um I think it'll it'll cause me to
either become or hopefully not fall back
but the goal would be to become greater
than who I currently am it'll cause me
to
learn new lessons and skills that I
don't know yet
and it'll cause me to learn how to be
more effective in every area of my life
manage my time optimize my business
Master my health and my relationships
that's what I believe will it will do
for me because it'll give me a different
sense of meaning added to my meaningful
mission
it'll get to be a different sense of
urgency
to make sure I'm living up to the
potential I want to be
to show a great model for my kid my kids
and it will give me a different level of
discipline that I probably don't have
right now
and so I think it's going to elevate me
into a a better human being now it
doesn't mean there might be stressful
moments and challenges and adversity but
I feel like
that's what's going to get me to the
edge and then be able to break through
and expand in bigger ways I I truly
think
my impact will expand exponentially when
I have a kid in the world like my
mission will come faster when that
happens
it won't hold me back which used to be
my fear it's going to push me forward
that's what I believe
well thank you in advance for your
service yeah I think that more amazing
people need to have kids and as somebody
who chose not to I think it's very
amazing that there are incredible people
that do plan to have kids or already
have kids
um if you think about your 24-hour day
you're filling them now what will you
take time from to give to your kids oh
man
[Music]
I think I'll just be better at
empowering others to do more things as
opposed to me doing all those things
that I feel like I need to do in work or
Nanny everything everything that
possible everything
that doesn't support
my three main priorities are this my
health first that means emotional
spiritual physical mental health and
making sure that I take time for my
health on a consistent basis
my second priority in my life is my
mission
now maybe that changes in the future but
my meaningful mission is priority number
two and I need the health and energy to
be able to serve the mission so if I
don't have the health my mission is
going to fail and I'm going to be
suffering so I don't want to suffer
so those two need to be my priority so I
went into the relationship communicating
this
and no woman wants to hear that the
third priority ever from any man
but she Martha actually said I love this
because I said then the third will be my
relationship with you
um and she said I love it and I go
really you sure you don't want to stop
dating me you know because every other
girl I've said this to was kind of run
away right
and she said no I love it because why
would I want an unhealthy man
why would I want a partner who's sick
and not taking care of their health and
making that their main priority so they
have more energy for me why would I want
a man who has no purpose
wandering
confused stuck
I've never had a man with a purpose so
that's why that inspires me
and so she was aligned with my
priorities
Health First
Mission second relationship third
and I also told her to give context
if you support health and mission for me
at the highest level you're going to
feel like the number one priority
because I'm going to be so present
giving attentive appreciative all of it
all the time with you when I'm with you
you can ask her and she'll say that she
feels like her the number one priority
in my life
and that'll continue to be the mission
is to set my life now I feel blessed
that I'm at an age of having kids where
I could hopefully navigate with support
a support system you know in the in the
Latin culture in general they don't do
things on their own they're no parent on
their own they have communities they
have grandparents and family and support
and they all support each other while
parents work so for me I'm not intending
to do Parenthood on my own and have her
be a parent on her own I'm intending for
us to include our families to hire
support babysitters whatever it might be
to support us to take care of our health
our mission our families and so that's
what I'm intending to do
now let me ask what does your priority
list look like when you have kids
it's number one still health does number
one become kids
and kids are four really you put your
mission above your kids
it's not above oh yes it is it's making
sure that bank ordering these phones we
can rank them but again
if I don't have a mission I'm not going
to be good for my kids
so whatever I'd rather be a bad father
because I'm around all the time but I'm
stressed out and not feeling good about
myself would I rather be the most
present fun energized father that is
there and excited when I'm there let's
make this concrete yes so Elon Musk
amazing I am left in awe of what he's
accomplished it's unbelievable when I
don't know him when people ask me if I
think he's a great father my answer is
no [ __ ] way right because you cannot
sleep in your factory for three years
and do all the things kids be present
for the most yeah it's math so there's
only so many hours in the day now that
doesn't mean you shouldn't have kids
right yeah and literally no judgment
yeah but I think he has made a
compromise and certainly I think he has
prioritized his business of those kids
and if I'm honest I would have done the
same thing so I I'm not choosing to have
them yeah yeah and I'm certainly not
throwing shade at him right so my
question is
given that time is finite and that it's
inevitable that those things will
collide and that I think people are wise
to come up with Rules of Engagement
before that happens I'm not talking the
kid is sick but of course you can drop
whatever you're doing 100 but I'm just
saying like
you have a huge opportunity for the
school of greatness but it means you're
going to miss a recital what do you do
um the goal would be to create a win-win
in every scenario
so that would be the intention yep
um In This Moment it's one of the other
it's all contextual
so if it's every week I'm missing
something constantly that wouldn't work
so give it to me as a principal eighty
percent of the school recitals I will go
to no matter what yeah maybe I mean I
haven't decided yet of what it's going
to be but it would be my goal is to be
there as frequently as possible and
knowing that when I'm not there it's
because I have something really
important as well that I need to take
care of for my mission so it's creating
a win-win environment in both
that's what I want to set up and that's
why I'm glad because I don't think I
would have been able to do that if I had
kids at 20 25 30. just because you were
so ambitious you would not have passed
up any opportunity you would have
resented them yeah I think I would have
resented one or the other you know and I
didn't have the resources to be able to
create win-win scenarios
so I'm I'm grateful that I didn't do
that in my 20s or 30s because I just
know how driven and ambitious I am and I
think I would have resent to myself or
my kids or my wife or whatever
and so I'm glad I didn't experience that
I experienced other suffering from
relationships but I didn't experience
that
um but that would be the intention to be
there and I'm sure the older they got
I'd want to be there more and more
frequently you know in 20 years I'll be
60 25 years 65 it's like I think I would
have hopefully more flexible time to be
able to work things around and keep
expanding the thing that I want for my
mission while having an hour to go to a
recital or a game it was really
meaningful when my dad would show up to
games he would drive seven hours to my
boarding school for just a basketball
game than drive home he did that almost
every week and he had a busy business
that he was running
but he made the time but it was later in
his life when he had more flexibility
and had more resources where he could do
that so I feel like that's what I would
be able to do as I get older
you brought up your dad let me ask you
what was harder the accident the brain
trauma or when he passed away by like 17
years later yeah uh the hardest part was
when he got in his accident because it
was
again he was he had a big transformation
when I hit 13. where
if I'm honest the first 13 years of my
life he was probably more narcissistic
angry passive aggressive energy and then
when I hit 13 I left home I begged my
parents to send me away it was miserable
at home so I begged him to send me away
oh you know I was a bad kid but that I
didn't get sent away because I was a bad
kid
um they didn't want me to leave I begged
them for a whole summer every day please
send me away I just didn't feel safe did
they know that's why you were asking no
but internally I didn't feel safe at
home
um
they just didn't love each other and so
it didn't feel comfortable and there
were arguments and fights frequently
right they loved us but they didn't love
each other yeah that made it feel unsafe
and then my older siblings were off to
college and I was there by myself and I
just didn't want to be in the energy
so when that happened when I was 13 he
started transforming he started doing a
lot of inner work on himself he started
to heal mend and it was almost like he
became a different personality he was
less reactive
he was all love he was supportive he was
joyful
[Music]
um
and he showed up he like made the time
to show up and show he cared
so it was a beautiful
seven eight year run of him transforming
for where I almost feared him to where I
was like man we're really getting close
in other ways
so when the accident happened it was
really challenging
there was a lot of other stuff that
happened it was it was just kind of like
devastating not only because my dad
was alive but he wasn't going to speak
for a year and then after that he
he just wasn't the same you know his
personality wasn't there and he didn't
care he didn't have a purpose he sat
around and watched movies all day for 17
years
he didn't want to move he didn't want to
eat well he didn't want to care about
his kids
and that was really hard because I knew
who he was did care but the brain trauma
just caused the chemistry to make him
just be like I don't want to do anything
and when we go and visit him he would
just get tired after an hour and say you
guys can go
and so that was hard because I knew
that's not who he is so I had to I
suffered for years
hoping for a different expectation that
wasn't happening
and I had to learn after about four or
five years to accept this is who he is
and he may never change back to the
person he was did you mourn that I
didn't fully mourn it I started to
accept it
but it was just so sad seeing him every
time and we also dealt with some other
his girlfriend at the time we eventually
married even though he was after the
accident even though he wasn't really
legally allowed to marry because he
wasn't able to communicate for himself
whoa a whole bunch of stuff went down
where
I don't want to say too much because
I want to catch my words here but
she just made it extremely uncomfortable
and hard for us to even just see our dad
she kind of took over power of attorney
then she got married
which he didn't want to get married and
he told us beforehand but they were like
life Partners now
so she took him to the court and
influenced the marriage to happen
she took all of our he had life
insurance policies on all of us she took
all that money out bought homes for her
kids wow
took all the money which I don't need
the money or anything like that but just
like things from the house that I grew
up in you know we didn't have access to
any of that I couldn't even go to the
home I grew up in anymore so it was just
kind of like all of it was devastating
and sad
and I had to kind of figure out life in
my 20s and in my 30s with my dad alive
but not being able to be there
emotionally and mentally and having to
accept it
so when he passed a year ago it's like I
finally was able to grieve like I felt a
lot more peace
again extreme sadness because 17 years
of
who I believe to be a great man that
wasn't able to fulfill his potential and
that makes it really sad for me because
when he went through that accident I
just realized man it could just be gone
like this he was on a vacation he was
having fun got a car accident
and that's why I live with a sense of
urgency of wanting to fulfill my
meaningful Mission as quickly as
possible and get there
but I also just know that I could be
gone tomorrow and I don't want to suffer
internally anymore like I did for so
long
with regrets or this or shame I was just
like I'd rather be in harmony with who I
am in alignment of who I am
and and go after all of it that I want
at this season you know and do my best
and so it was just kind of on it was
really sad 17 years of
he could have done a lot and he wasn't
able to do it and it was even worse that
he
was around but didn't have the mental
capacity to like go beyond and so that
was it was really sad
how do you think about that do you
believe in a soul
yeah
so how this is the place I always
disconnect with people that believe in
the soul is
what's happening when in your world view
when there's been damage to the body in
the brain
the person that you knew was gone
is the soul gone
you know I think the body just
you know in the three-dimensional world
the body just failed and so he wasn't
able to use the biochemistry that we
have the the biology that we have in
this Dimension to be able to function
the way he once was
but it's you know his vitals and his
heartbeat and everything was going I
mean he could walk a little bit he could
have a conversation but he didn't have
the memory so every time I'd see him for
17 years say Hey Dad how's it going
Louis right whoa so it was Alzheimer's
like it was yeah he had Amnesia he had
like he could remember short term but
not long term they couldn't remember the
past before the accident
so he'd be like he could or could not
could not remember before so he only
knew you post accident he there was like
moments where he had some memories like
if I showed him a photo of something
like here's a photo you took here's a
photo of me and you my college here's a
photo of you and me in basketball games
you remember this would you be
fascinated by it or would he be like he
would he would be like no sometimes he
would remember like oh yeah where did
you go to school again this was 17 years
every time I see him wow where did you
go to school again
I went to the school dad oh that's right
you played uh football right yeah I
played football but he was at every game
yeah yeah so it's just kind of like hard
to see someone that you care about that
I idolized in a lot of ways
go through a brain trauma that changed
his life forever and then changed
everyone around him do you imagine him
now in heaven normal
uh yeah I imagine his his soul and his
Spirit
um where it needs to be yeah
where it needs to be yeah what does that
mean not in this three-dimensional world
you know we're in a three-dimensional
world and I believe we came from
somewhere else we were created from
somewhere else and we will go somewhere
else and it just won't be a physical
body it'll be our soul our spirit in a
different dimension so we're 3D right
now it'll go to a 5D or another
dimension where there is a Consciousness
and a love at a different level I don't
know what that looks like I can't even
explain it or imagine it but that's what
is that anchored in uh traditional faith
for you or is this just something I
think it's pieced together I think it
was in traditional faith that I went
away from then I've come back to based
on
science based on metaphysics and based
on quantum physics and based on energies
of just like okay there's a frequency
of love and light and when we get closer
to that frequency as opposed to us a
lower frequency of matter when we get
closer to the energy of love and light
it unlocks abundance it unlocks Freedom
it unlocks Joy
and so I believe that's where we came
from we came from that light that pure
love that frequency of energy that's
where it stems from and I believe that's
where we'll go back to and when you
think of a soul or uh spirit
is it
human-like in it's an energy okay so we
is it like from Stardust back to
Stardust it just feels it feels like a
feeling and energy it's not like a a
tangible thing that I could see or it's
not like we're reunited with people that
we know and we reminisce about the old I
don't know I can't even fathom what it
is because I don't know but I feel like
there's an energy
space
where we are backed into that energy of
light and love
and I don't know if you I have no idea
if this is in physical form or spiritual
form or just energy form I have no idea
but I feel like there is a light that we
came from a love that we came from and
the energy that was created the whole
universe and energy that brought our
parents together that created us and
there will be an energy we go to when
the physical is gone
would life be more or less interesting
to you if at death we literally from
Stardust to Stardust right that it just
you're broken back into constituent
parts and there's no sort of continuing
consciousness
would it be more interesting if that
happened more or less
I think life is interesting either way I
think it's interesting whether I get to
you know theoretically see people I care
about after I die
or whether there's nothingness if this
is it and blankets gone and the lights
are out forever
I think it either way it makes it
interesting for me and it makes it
urgent again
I can create the meaning of why I'm here
but at the end of the day I may not know
why I mean when where the lights are out
and we're done from this physical world
there may be another space and time that
says oh you had this meeting but that
wasn't the true meaning you made it the
meaning and that worked for you then but
here was the actual meaning
maybe that happens maybe not would you
prefer that it's for me it's irrelevant
you know whatever it's what's most
useful to me let me go back to your word
but now you mean what the like if you
knew so there was a movie called
Defending Your Life you ever see it
actually really funny uh and one I think
well I don't believe that there is
anything after this I think it is
Stardust to Stardust but I think it
would be way cooler if there really was
like another place that you went to I
mean it's just the nothingness is is not
terrifying to me I know some people are
scared of it it doesn't scare me
literally the only thing I'm afraid of
is a painful death that does not strike
me as ideal but when you're dead you
won't feel it anyways yes but you will
go through the dying and so that you
will never remember it because it's gone
very true and so being dead does not
scare me
um I don't have some fear of the Void
I'm no more afraid of what happens after
this and I am shrieking in Terror of
where I was before this uh but it would
be more interesting to me like I would
love if there was something on the other
side of this that would be really cool
it'd be beautiful uh I would love to die
and then be like all right let me just
tell you what it was all about like well
here's the thing isn't it interesting to
think that
if you did have to live with yourself
after this
and Hall and all this thing was about
did you express as much love and joy in
the world as possible and
uncover who you were meant to be for you
and if so you'd have a lot more peace
and Eternity then that's a driving force
too if that was part of it yeah if if we
knew that would be certainly would play
a big game right now or it would impact
the game significantly right now I am
optimizing for just I I have a mode of
feeling now and I optimize for that but
hearing you talk and the fact that you
mentioned psychedelics earlier have you
done psychedelics never interesting I
have a zero desire at this point
I have a massive desire why do you have
zero desire I have zero desire because
I've seen so many cases of people who
have done psychedelics who have messed
them up for the rest of their life right
and mess their brains up and they became
they suffered more afterwards the
ayahuas the mushrooms all these things
really I've seen cases on people posting
about this online now because there's
this big boom of talking about how this
is Healthcare this is the world this is
the future of healing
and I'm not saying it's not I'm not
saying that maybe there's for some
people it is maybe it can heal everyone
just by taking an external drug yeah and
shifting your in your biology and
chemistry but I believe the body has the
smartest Pharmacy of all I believe we
heal ourselves naturally you get cut
there's a wound you heal the body learns
how to build bone over itself when it's
broken
it learns how to mend yes medicine and
doctors help provide healing and comfort
and medicines to accelerate these things
but the body's Pharmacy is the most
powerful Pharmacy in my mind the way you
think can directly impact how you feel
where's that coming from that's not a
medicine that's not an outside Source
putting inside this is an internal
thinking that can heal your body
it's a placebo if you won't even call it
that right the way you think can make a
sickness go away a pain go away if you
think it away this happens all the time
for people I've done this many times
myself I've I've where do you think that
goes so I know I think it goes very far
here's the thing my whole religion I
grew up in called Christian Science
my grandfather who was big into the the
practice of Christian Science which is
all about healing yourself and Healing
The Sick that is the whole premise of
the religion how to use your mind
to Healing them through your mind or
getting them to heal themselves with
their mouth how to heal others through
the truth of what we are which we Are
Spiritual Beings in a physical world can
you define spiritual we're an idea or a
thought and so how can an idea or a
thought be physically harmed
we are living in a material we have
thoughts yes that I understand but
you're you're saying we are a thought
we're an idea in the way like in
information Theory simulation what do
you mean by that I just think that we
are you know in in the way that it was
taught to me was that we Are Spiritual
Beings in the image and likeness of God
spirituality not metaphor yes literal
yes we Are Spiritual Beings in the the
image and likeness of God perfect
Spiritual Beings
and as a spiritual being we are not
Material we're spiritual
now here's the thing we are also
immaterial or even this body is
immaterial well here's the the game you
got to play in your mind because when I
grew up I was like what do you mean but
I feel this this feels matter this hurts
I have these desires these urges the
sexualness about me what do you mean
but the more we can focus on spiritual
identity over material mortal man
the less pain and suffering we have when
we focus on being Spiritual Beings when
we focus on
that image and likeness of spiritual
truth with a capital T life with a
capital l love with a capital love uh
out with a capital love
and the goal is to remember the truth as
frequently as possible that we Are
Spiritual Beings that we are is that a
reminder to not be
pulled around by your biology
you could say that yeah is there a
better way to say it no I think that's a
good way to say it yeah okay you have
these urges but know that they're yes so
my grandfather used to tell me this
because
there's some extreme Christian
scientists and this is different than
Scientology just to make it clear
um the extreme Christian scientists that
are so focused on being a spiritual
being but sometimes
miss the mark in their physical
consequences
right they get sick
they go through you know pain the
disease and they don't treat the disease
we've been trained to treat the broken
thought first
a broken thought is typically out of
alignment and when we get to thinking
back in alignment the physical body
should follow form now sometimes that
always doesn't always work
but can I ask a really pointed question
just to see how the philosophy treats us
yes so if I feed you a lot of sugar
highly processed foods you're going to
get sick
in Christian Science can you eat all of
that food but think the right thoughts
and not have the negative physical
outcome
you can't go against
making conscious choices
and healthy choices my grandfather used
to say Christian Science stands for
common sense
like if something is wrong you break an
arm go to the hospital and get it set
uh you know but a lot of people
try to heal
first the thinking before doing the
physical Acts
and a lot of times they have healings
and they heal sickness disease ailments
from prayer thought belief first
and the body follows do you think that
that happens through a mechanism uh
that's at the cellular level or is there
something that is
like god-like in that it recognizes your
intent and fixes the thing I don't want
to use the word magic I mean there's I
mean there's even if we're studying with
modern science and you hear this a lot
with people
you hear some people have lived 100
years old and they smoked and they drink
called wine every night and they smoke
cigarettes and they ate poor food but
they lived to 100. and you're like how's
that even possible
but they had beautiful Community they
had love in their hearts they had a
purpose they had a mission they were
engaged in there does that manifest at
the cellular level though or is this a
spiritual thing
it's all spiritual but I mean
even inside like even Joe dispenza says
this in his science and his research
that he can be gluten free or gluten
full you can eat cheese and meat you can
be vegan but if we focus on the energy
the higher energy of love the frequency
of love then we can overcome a lot
materially but if we're focusing it
though or so we do live in this
three-dimensional space yeah so there
are some science and physics here but
there are a lot of things that have
happened to people that they can't
explain a lot of healings that they
can't explain it's a lot of Miracles
that can't be explained so where are
those coming from and when we can't
explain it there must be another layer
to it or level to it so it's not like I
have all this figured out a hundred
percent it's still a practice of
remembering the truth that I am a
spiritual being you are a spiritual
being seeing you in a perfect image and
likeness of Love of pure light of pure
energy and if I put my energy and
attention on you being a perfect image
of love
and I focus that energy that creates a
different frequency within my body a
different energy within my heart it
opens my heart up more as opposed to
thinking Tom is the worst human being in
the world he's mean he's nasty in this
it closes off my heart do you think it's
living kindness meditation
maybe I'm not sure if it literally
sounds like what you're describing so
you close your eyes you send a
meditative posture you imagine love for
yourself and love for people you know
and then you just keep expanding and
spending spending yeah do you think it's
the same kind of thing or are these two
totally different things I think it's
similar yeah I think it's very similar
it's
again the religion I grew up in it just
gave me a set of principles and
practices to step into that frequency
more often but I had wounds and pain
that I was confused by that was hard for
me to overcome
so I was kind of living in both worlds
Material World spiritual world love hate
until I got to a place of mending those
wounds until I got to a place of facing
the past pains that was causing me the
current pain and creating new meaning
around it
and so that's why for me it's more about
Harmony and alignment with your thinking
and your actions but also finding peace
from the past actions or things that
people did to you and finding acceptance
and peace so you can get back into
alignment and harmony with your thinking
today
as opposed to being stressed and anxious
from what happened in the past
so it's uh it's interesting because you
know modern science and stuff like what
Dr Joe dispenza is teaching now every
time I interview him I'm like you sound
like a Christian Scientist but you have
the data and the science that backs it
now which is interesting because the
religion started in the 1800s by a woman
who is you know one of the women of the
century who created this she learned to
heal herself from many people and spread
to millions of members around the world
in the 1800s before social media and the
the spreading of this and so I learned
these principles it was Christian
Science the science of how Jesus did the
things he did what is the science behind
healing
and so now we have a lot more tools to
study like when people heal that's what
Dr Joseph Spence is doing have you been
to his Workshop yet that's not
fascinating to see people heal in real
time in seven days
through meditation and you're not going
to believe it I have real problems
you're not going to believe it real
problem but it's amazing to see the the
biology heal within seven days when you
change the thinking so you feel you
think that that so when you change
thinking and feeling consistently
I believe it shifts your biology
I agree with that I think that getting
your thoughts in the right place is
hugely important and if I were diagnosed
with cancer let me tell you
go do or don't do you would do chemo I
would do all of it everything 100 so
would I so would I
um and it's not about not using modern
medicine it's about being wise and smart
and doing what you need to do again
every tool possible
to to heal myself or to overcome pain I
would use every tool imaginable I would
eat perfectly I would think the right
way I would do the melody medicine I
would do all of it I have a feeling and
this is a guess and I fully recognize
there are things I just don't understand
but I have a guess that
your thoughts really matter they have a
huge impact on your biology but at the
end of the day this is just a cellular
game and that your thoughts are
affecting your biology and thusly one
needs to be thoughtful about that
yes my take could you make do you think
you can make yourself sick with your
thoughts that is clear so do you think
you could heal yourself with your
thoughts but I think you can undo the
things you can think your way into I you
can probably stop
creating you almost certainly can stop
creating more problems through the
thoughts but the reality is you could
reverse the things you probably could
reverse some of it but the reality of
the way the
um like take a cancer cell for instance
so in fact maybe an even easier one if
you think about the microbiome the
microbiome is very treatable through
diet and things like that until you
start getting biofilms and the
microbiome can actually protect itself
with by creating like this slime that
will stop things from being able to
penetrate it so there really is a sort
of point of no return where it's like
hey maybe like your stress because
levels of stress are going as far as I
know the literature backs up that stress
levels will impact cancer
and so that is you getting into a state
that's Korea creating a problem with
your biology but the biology then can
get and I'm guessing here I don't know
the data well enough but my gut instinct
is that
given what I know about how mechanisms
can become runaway mechanisms
that are hard to reverse yeah that there
there comes a point where you're just
not going to think your way out of it I
agree with that so after a certain point
for sure that might be too hard to the
body might have gone too far
and it might be harder to give back and
that even if you are sort of thinking
your way to uh root of it that's still
solvable that you're doing it through
biology and so yes if one was it's it's
a bit like
[Music]
um
if you said hey you have to put on 35
pounds of muscle because you're going to
start filming a movie in six weeks I
would like steroids please yeah so even
though I can really work out and no
matter what if I take the drugs or not
I'm gonna have to work my ass off but
the odds of me getting there without the
intervention are basically zero we're in
a three-dimensional World biology game
yeah we're in a three-dimensional world
but I feel like our thoughts can
influence this world in a big way that
you and I can agree on violently and I
have witnessed for myself and other
people
uh physical healings
call it thinking call it prayer call it
meditation call it believing that you
are able to heal yourself
through a practice and ritual of that
thinking and feeling that you are
healing
if you want to hear a crazy story of
myself
um when I was playing college football
my freshman year in Minnesota
I don't know if I was like just walking
around Barefoot too much in the locker
room or what but I got these really bad
like black planter warts like deep in my
feet black deep I mean it's like
they were all over the bottom of my foot
feet both of them it hurt to walk on
cleats because the cleats were like
pushing up in it so every step was just
like it was like a little needle
sticking in all over horrendous painful
the trainers try to scalpel them out and
it's so painful because they're so deep
deep and I got I couldn't do it after a
couple there was I don't know dozens on
every foot a lot it was covered
disgusting looking
and they couldn't get them out they were
too deep they're like you're gonna have
to go to the doctor and like numb this
and do the whole thing and I go I gotta
play football I can't like take time off
so this might sound weird but uh my
sister Heidi
um I went to visit her during one of
these weekends and
I was talking about how the pain so much
pain I was feeling the physical these
warts in the bottom of my feet
and she put me through a a guided
visualization in a prayer practice
it's gonna sound weird
but within about a week they were all
gone
and I didn't scalp on anything I didn't
pick at them I didn't do anything else
except for
sound weird but remember that I was a
spiritual being essentially that I'm a
spiritual being that my body cannot be
harmed and I have the power to heal this
again I know it doesn't sound logical it
doesn't sound logical but I'm okay with
that and I'd be very curious to see if
there's any data on it but why can't you
we said earlier that death is undefeated
if you can clear the the things on the
bottom of your feet why is death maybe
we're not supposed to be around
maybe this is just an experience of life
but life continues after death
I want you to be right man I want to be
I want to be able to think my way out of
any problem nothing would make me
happier I don't know man I remain a
skeptic but I apprecially the time being
if we can
and for me I try to put myself through
as much pain and discomfort as possible
so that I don't feel all their pain
coming at me
so I try to work as out as hard as I can
I I go and do the uncomfortable
conversations as fast as I can I do the
things that are uncomfortable as quickly
as I can so it doesn't pile up and cause
more pain and stress later
so this is not about like eliminating
pain or being peaceful non-stop without
experiencing these types of pains
but by doing that I'm making myself
stronger to handle other things that
could cause cause worse pain that's what
I'm trying to do and whatever I can do
to
create more Harmony in this lifetime you
know before I die
I'm gonna try to do it
I love it man where can people follow
you uh you can find uh the greatest
mindset online anywhere Amazon
bookstores you can go to school
greatness podcast or Lewis house
anywhere on social media or
greatness.com I love it guys if you
haven't already be sure to subscribe and
until next time my friends be legendary
take care peace
I bet I went everywhere that was awesome
if you want to learn my process for
achieving any goal and completely
changing your life click on this episode
here the reason most people fail to
achieve their goals is twofold number
one they don't have a sufficient level
of clarity and number two they don't
want it badly enough