Kind: captions
Language: en
almost everybody quits
at everything
they all give up a New Year's resolution
they all quit
the big goal in their life they all quit
I'm getting emotional right now people
quit dude it's so heartbreaking
[Music]
gentlemen we're here to talk about
habits Changing Life getting unstuck
what do you have for me
so I'll start off with what are the most
common things you see people do that
holds them back from success ego is a
big one in fact that is the biggest you
need a self-correcting mechanism so at
the beginning we all suck doesn't matter
what you're doing whether you're a
little kid whether you're deep into your
career when you're embarking on
something new you're going to be bad at
it you need to Leverage What is the the
more I push for Success the more I
realize everything is just a scientific
method recontextualized for something
you have a guess you try something you
fail to some degree you assess what
worked what didn't work you then
reformulate your hypothesis and try
again the problem is if you think you're
amazing and in Failure it hurts who you
are and your sense of self you don't
want to see the truth and you will hide
the truth from yourself
extraordinarily effectively or you just
won't try again oh that didn't work not
because of me it didn't work because of
some other thing and you'll externalize
it
the flip side of that coin though is if
you take everything on yourself oh my
God I messed up I made a mistake I'm
stupid I'm wrong I did this poorly this
didn't work because of me then you won't
try again because you've just completely
deflated yourself so you have to walk
this weird Middle Ground of having an
ego yep but making sure that your ego is
based on something that makes you stare
nakedly at your inadequacies and the
only way to do that that I have found is
to identify as the learner so most
people want to be right good Smart in
fact let's talk about Nietzsche it's all
Will To Power everybody needs to have
that thing where they're like because of
this I am a badass
this is why somebody at a toll booth or
whatever flexes their muscle or somebody
at the TSA have recently traveled and
people want to flex their muscle there
because you need something that makes
you feel like you have power Will To
Power like as you look I Am brand new to
Nature I don't want to make it sound
like I'm a scholar here
but it was the first thing that allowed
me to understand what's happening in
culture right now
which is people fighting for ideas that
seem to me self-evidently
self-destructive and I could not
understand why they would do that but
once you realize that oh if I can't beat
you in open competition then I just want
to tear you down
when you realize that that need to show
that you are powerful to make progress
to strive for something to be able to
bend the world to you in some way
then you realize if you can't make that
will to power serve something that's
high functioning in terms of pushing you
towards fulfillment
you're gonna you're gonna be in a
self-destructive spiral and so that's
where most people live is they are
running the scientific method of
hypothesis they try something but when
it doesn't work and it won't what do
they do and if at that moment they
realize oh I have this need to solve
this to move forward to make progress
but I need to do that in a high
functioning self-aware way
and the best thing that you can do there
is see yourself okay I'm the learner I
want to see what I've done wrong that is
my Will To Power my Will To Power is
Improvement itself and to do that I have
to really accept the things that I'm not
currently good at most people can't do
that most people are stuck in the
psychological immune system of I want
the will to power but I'm going to lie
to myself
assume that I'm good write better faster
stronger and for that all to be true
anything that is saying that I messed up
or I'm bad I have to knock down
and that's where people get in a
self-destructive Loop instead you need
to be asking what can I do differently
that would be more effective so I think
I'm good at staring at my inadequacy I
got that part and then now I'm looking
at I don't have the will to power and so
I think sometimes I get to that what do
you mean by that because you do every
the will to power is innate meaning you
want it you want Power you want to be
able to look at the things in your life
that you don't like and change them in
some way yeah so I want to do that and
then because I'm inadequate right now I
get that frustrated feeling of like God
damn it why am I not why am I not
be able to like execute at the level I
want why am I not sticking to the habits
that I want to stick to and it's just
you know I sometimes I intellectually
know the answer but then I just get
frustrated with like I'm not there yet
and sometimes it can be like it can be
almost like paralyzing so what do you
think so it's interesting because you're
letting something very useful spill over
into not being useful so you the reason
that you've had as much success as
you've had is because it's never enough
for you you're constantly frustrated you
want to do more like when I think about
how much you do it's very impressive you
hold a lot of things the reason you hold
a lot of things is because it's never
been enough for you you always want more
you always want to get better so that's
good right that's that ambition has led
you to where you are my ambition has led
me to where I am but sometimes it feels
pathological I feel like I'm too
ambitious I want too much and it drives
me into this corner of taking on like
everything everything ah
and whenever I think about the remedy
and I think oh I would tell somebody
else do less
I don't like that feeling I don't want
to do less I want to get stronger I want
to do more so you want that that's
nature going hey I need you to go out
and fight and do really dangerous things
right if you think about yourself from
an evolutionary standpoint dude so boys
and girls read about history okay I'm
I'm becoming obsessed with history
humans are murderers murderers dude we
kill we rape we pillage it's crazy in
all of us is that animal now the
question is why would we develop that
from an evolutionary standpoint because
for millions of years it was red in
tooth and Claw it was so hard to stay
alive to go out to get food
at the risk of derailing your answer
reading the book The Empire of the
summer moon was transformative for me it
may be the book that made me fall in
love with history like just completely
and totally because I realized the world
used to be completely untamed and that
the Great Plains of America which I had
heard people refer to but never knew
what it meant
there was a part of America that was so
flat and there was basically nothing
there that they referred to it as
Oceanic
meaning that it was like being lost at
sea it was just so big so expansive so
open so nothing
that to cross it was like trying to
cross the ocean
now we conquered that and when you think
about what it would take for an animal
to be so good that it can conquer every
element of this planet
who it's it is a level of intensity
beast mode all of that that in a modern
context one is not celebrated it's
ridiculed it's tried to be pushed out of
people but I think it's actually
incredibly powerful it is the thing
that's allowed us to create all of this
to travel to other planets we've
literally gone to other planets like
that's crazy so you've got this amazing
thing that pushes you but there becomes
a point where it spills over into
pathology and you start going I'm a
loser because I haven't gone to the Moon
yet I'm a loser because we haven't
colonized Mars so you want it to push
you you want to be dissatisfied but you
want to recognize when it begins to
diminish who you are so you need to be
able to stare into the abyss of the
Great Plains and go I need to become
capable of Crossing this thing
but as you get into it and you start to
feel terrified it feels too big it feels
too much I'm not capable of this you
have to back off and go what is the most
efficient thing I could do with the next
15 minutes of my life and that's where
most people break either they stare out
into the abyss and they can't take the
first step not your problem okay you'll
take that first step but then as you get
out there the very thing that gave you
the guts to take that first step begins
to chip away at you and so you have to
remember
you're an animal having a biological
experience that's just your brain
messing with you so do and believe that
which moves you towards your goals once
the pathology begins to spill into the
motivation back off don't allow yourself
to give into it instead and all I do in
that moment because I have a more
aggressive negative voice I think than
most people it's why I keep pushing
forward despite my success but when it
begins to diminish my sense of self then
I go I don't allow myself to repeat that
because you are what you repeat you're
going to think it don't worry about that
but you are what you repeat and so if
you start repeating I'm a loser I'm a
loser I'm a loser then you're not going
to get better so in that moment where my
brain just starts going you're a loser
you're not good enough for this you're
not smart enough you're not strong
enough fast enough whatever I go what
could I do with the next 15 minutes to
get a little bit smarter a little bit
faster a little bit better and then I
get into skill acquisition mode once I'm
in skill acquisition mode boom now I can
move forward and so one of my habit
Loops is that is to pattern interrupt my
[ __ ] of thinking and shift myself back
into skill acquisition if you live in
skill acquisition then it'll all stack
and that's when I look into somebody
that is as young as you
I think dude if you knew what I know
which is in 10 years
you're going to look back over your
shoulder and you won't recognize
yourself because all these little
moments where you were too weak to do
something that you wanted and it really
made you angry you actually got a little
bit stronger because you were trying and
trying and trying and you're it it's
invisible
but dude when you have a 10-year window
[Music]
really awesome we have to keep going and
the only way to do that is to stay in
problem solving skill acquisition
so Tom you're a super creative person
what habits do you have to maximize your
creativity and to like get better in
that realm without feeling like you're
not using your time effectively or how
do you handle that welcome to the most
painful knife between my ribs question I
can imagine the reason that one's hard
for me is
you can force creativity
and so I hate it when people say that
you can't but even to force it it takes
a lot of time and it's wildly
inefficient I can't remember who said
this but I'm going to say Einstein
who said that progress often looks like
staring out the window
so the habits that I've tried to create
in my life are my version of staring out
the window which is meditation so when I
wake up in the morning one I try to wake
up really early so this morning I woke
up at 3 24. that is a magical time to
wake up because I know that there's
going to be hours and hours and hours
before the sun even Rises which feel
like bonus hours to me but that I need
to get up and start being efficient so I
have a rule that I'm out of bed in 10
minutes or less so I woke up at 3 24
that means that I need to be out of bed
by 3 34. and so I hold myself
accountable to that now ironically today
my feet hit the floor right is it
clicked over into the 11th minute so I
was a little annoyed with myself but I
got up and got going can I just dump in
like in that 11 minutes where you're
just like I would want to get out to bed
right
every day of my life I don't want to get
out of bed and I I don't people don't
believe me but that really is true
literally every day I've often wondered
if biologically there's just a thing in
my brain like the neurochemistry I don't
clear that part out fast enough I don't
know but I find it difficult to get out
of bed every day so I have to have rules
and habits to force myself so I get out
of bed my clothes are literally on the
floor next to it I get dressed I go down
I meditate today I meditated first
usually I work out first
but to get into a creative state I need
to deal with the biology so I'm gonna
sit down close my eyes in the darkest
space that I can find if I can't find a
dark space I will literally put a
sweatshirt or something over my face
that just really helps me for whatever
reason I close my eyes and I just focus
on my breath what I'm trying to do is
create a brain wave pattern that is what
they call Theta wave so now I'm getting
out of problem solving and I'm
approaching something that's kind of
like sleep and what ends up happening is
that I get calm and creative so by
coming back to the breath all of the
like monkey mind stuff begins to go away
and I'll just focus on the breath focus
on the breath focus on the breath but if
I'm trying to solve a creative problem
before I sat down to meditate I get a
hold of either an image or a sentence
that's very short that I can repeat so
if I'm writing something like if I'm
doing coyotes of the ear Gap or
something
I might have an image let's say it's a
character and one of the characters in
Code is of the air gap is Kavanaugh and
I had this Obsession of him creating uh
he's an energy Dome over himself in the
rain
and but I don't know how does that plug
into the story what does that mean in
terms of the lore I don't know and so
there's two paths for me to move forward
I can Journal about it or I can meditate
on it I always start with meditation
because that's going to bring me into
that state where I'm calm and creative
and the creativity seems to be and I
don't understand the brain science well
enough but my sort of Layman's
understanding is that creativity is not
a new part of your brain
um going offline sorry going online it's
a part of your brain actually shutting
down and so if you take transcranial
magnetic stimulation
you're actually disrupting a part of the
brain and you can take somebody who
can't draw and suddenly they can draw
like four times better they're not going
to be Picasso that's a terrible example
since he drew so bizarrely but they're
not going to be da Vinci but they're
going to be way better than they were so
that tells you that the thing that stops
you from creativity is actually an
overactive part of your brain not an
underactive part so the idea is to quiet
the brain begin to shut down so that
areas that would otherwise be inhibited
from communicating now start
communicating so you get these far-flung
ideas that begin to connect and so now
all of a sudden that image that I'm
telling myself to come back to come back
to you it's it if I'm using a visual
prompt I'm not even using words so I'm
going to articulate it in words now but
I'm really just trying to bring myself
back to that image of Kavanaugh with The
Blue Umbrella over him in the rain
bouncing off of this translucent thing
and then I know that what I'm trying to
problem solve for is what does that mean
for the lore or for the laws of the the
land so anyway without getting lost in
the specifics of that moment I'm just
trying to do that I come back to this
image come back to this image come back
to this image and then your subconscious
takes over what you're trying to what
creativity intuition all of that stuff
all it is is the subconscious mind which
can process way more information much
faster than the conscious mind will
speak to you not in the language of the
conscious mind which is words but in the
language of the subconscious which is
emotion and image so if an image you
know is worth a thousand words
that's how your subconscious is able to
chunk all of this massive amount of data
that it deals with that it can't it
can't give you the true thing through
that really narrow pipeline of the
conscious way that we think so it the
words I always use it coughs something
up into my conscious mind either a
feeling or an image when I have that
feeling then now I go journal or I have
that image and I go Journal now I need
to translate that into my conscious mind
so I'm going to take this really narrow
throughput of my conscious mind and I'm
going to start feeding that huge
reservoir of information that's in my
subconscious into something that I can
now manipulate so you have this sort of
deep sea of all this stuff going on in
your subconscious but you can't touch it
you can't manipulate it you can't turn
it into a photo a video uh a story right
it's it's just emotion it's just imagery
so you've got to get it through that
narrow pipeline into your conscious mind
for me I use journaling I on coyotes of
the air gap I journaled more than 20 000
words that's a novella okay I could have
published that of course a stream of
conscience would be a total mess but I
was like that's long enough literally
Lisa's book ended up being I think 60
000 words so I was like I wrote a third
of a published book just trying to get
my subconscious reservoir of what I
could feel but I couldn't articulate
into something I could articulate very
simply and when I Journal all I'm trying
to do is say a single sentence so it's
you because I'm writing a story it's
usually a log line but let's to make it
more useful for the average person
you've got a goal you want to achieve in
your life but you just have a feeling I
want to impact people people say that to
me all the time in what way
that's your subconscious you know the
feeling you want you know when you did
that thing that one time back in seventh
grade it made you feel some kind of way
and you've been chasing that forever the
reason you're chasing it is because
you've never taken the time to get that
massive reservoir of information
translated into something you can
manipulate with your conscious mind and
the way to do that is to write write
write
until you can say the way you want to
impact people in a single sentence or
what kind of movies you want to make or
what kind of parent you want to be
whatever your goal is but to be able to
say your goal in a single sense without
parentheticals no run-ons don't give
yourself any room give yourself like 15
or 20 words once you can say it that
succinctly and it feels like a puzzle
piece clicking into place you know
you've got it that's a long process from
forcing myself to get out of bed in 10
minutes or less going and meditating
getting myself in a calm creative state
once I have that imagery sitting down
and forcing myself to right right right
right right right right right sometimes
for days weeks months until I can say
that one thing in a single sentence
so here's I want to jump in because when
you said all that process I'm stuck at
that first part right so when you wake
up the bed's warm it's cold outside I
just wanna oh it feels so good and then
my phone's right next to me like I can
either get up and do the hard work of
like you know getting ready for work and
actually getting down and do the hard
like creative thinking or well there's
Twitter right here
engineered by billions of dollars to get
like one extra second of my time and in
my mind I might even trick myself saying
oh it's work I'm researching I'm doing
all this stuff oh I know that trick well
so so my thing is like how do you even
you say there's rules all this type of
stuff and I might know that but like how
do I actually implement it other than
just just do it right like the word is
sometimes just do it so I'm like can I
jump past that I have something else
deeply fearful that I am a freak of
nature
and that I just want things so badly
that when I hear people ask that I tell
them oh you just don't want it badly
enough and I can walk them through the
process of how I've built desire in my
life but I really do have a fear that
I'm a super responder to desire
now for the sake of this let's say that
I'm not or let it be a filter to people
that are also super responders because
I'm certainly not the only one but the
reality is once you become goal obsessed
then it's like I'm just not going to be
tricked by that I'm not going to be
tricked by Tick Tock which I'm obsessed
tick tock's amazing you're selling your
soul to the Chinese government but they
pay a fair price that's how I think
about Tick Tock so I have to put rules
around my life that say Hey because I
have all these excuses it really is for
work I really do need to master Tick
Tock I need to understand the algorithm
and all that stuff but at the same time
I know that it will quickly suck away
hours of my life and if I'm honest it's
not super productive so I'm going to put
rules around it and if I have to set an
alarm I'll set an alarm you have 15
minutes to look at Tick Tock and if
you're in the middle of a video at the
end of 50 minutes you stop just simple
as now because I am goal obsessed I
really want my goals like I
I really want my goals
because of that I don't have to convince
myself of Allah it's like I know that if
I stay and mess around on Tick Tock I'm
not going to get my goal or I become way
less likely to get it
so because I know that I having a
biological experience that my brain is
often my enemy I have to do things in my
sober moments to put restrictions around
but to your point
how much you stick to the restrictions
becomes the only game that matters and
at that you just have to want it so
that's where I go into asking that
question right so if we understand that
it's a it's about all like the
short-term desire for the long versus
long-term desire
um one I think you touched on with
another answer which is around Clarity
like having clear clear goals helps you
know make that bridge but what else
helps in bridging that Gap is it just I
would hate for it to just be innate of
like oh yeah you just did not eat the
marshmallow and that's just your lot of
life but how do we improve the ability
to not eat the marshmallow like what is
there anything so I'll walk you through
the process of Desire because ultimately
the process of building desire is the
thing that allows you to not eat the
marshmallow
so one I wildly distrust myself so I was
diagnosed with ADH sorry I was diagnosed
with hyperactivity disorder when I was a
kid that would almost certainly
translate today into a diagnosis of ADHD
so
I really struggle to stay on task so
this is something I've had to put a lot
of rules around in my life
so
because I distrust myself when I have
the impulse to do something I ask myself
is this actually going to move me
towards my goal yes or no if it moves me
towards my goal then I'm going to do it
but I also know that I'm prone to lie to
myself so oh wood looking at Tick Tock
right now move me towards my goal of
course I would I need to master the
algorithm 100 I should look okay wait
you're prone to lie to yourself so did
you make a list of the important things
you should be doing yes do you have a
calendar that tells you what you should
be doing right now yes so like in my
calendar I have a time this says
important things it's a free-form thing
so it's the moment where I'm most likely
to get myself in trouble because I'm not
doing the things that I should be the
truth is hitting your career goals is
not easy you have to be willing to go
the extra mile to stand out and do hard
things better than anybody else but
there are 10 steps I want to take you
through that will 100x your efficiency
so you can crush your goals and get back
more time into your day you'll not only
get control of your time you'll learn
how to use that momentum to take on your
next big goal to help you do this I've
created a list of the 10 most most
impactful things that any High achiever
needs to dominate and you can download
it for free by clicking the link in
today's description alright my friend
back to today's episode so I keep a list
of important things that are listed in
order of what I need to execute against
so I'm goal obsessed and to get goal
obsessed I built desire to build desire
you do the following you need to say
internally this is my goal and I'm
obsessed
now hopefully that hits everyone
listening to this is stupid so basic
[ __ ] that it cannot be true but it
really is true you become what you
repeat so I tell myself this is my goal
and I'm obsessed
then I tell other people this is my goal
I'm obsessed I'm building the next
Disney for me say that a couple times so
and I'm obsessed with Disney okay that's
the first part but it's not going to get
you very far but if I do this
yo I'm gonna build the next Disney and
let me tell you why I'm gonna build it
next Disney because I used to Big
Brother for this little kid and I
watched the ZIP code Edom did you guys
know for real this is actually true
right now in the entire Western World
your ZIP code is the number one
predictor of your future success now
what I'm doing is embodying the way that
I want to feel at the beginning people
need to understand in the beginning it
felt fake to me because I was walking
myself through the process of building
desire I was saying it internally I was
saying it externally and I was embodying
the thing I wanted to feel
when I said it
the way that the brain works it will
justify whatever you do
it's one of the worst things about the
brain it's amazing because of the
psychological immune system but the
psychological immune system's job is to
keep you from committing suicide it is
not to help you get ahead in life
unfortunately
so your psychological immune system is
going to come up with a justification
for why you do whatever you do you can
actually there's a study done on this
with patients that have an inability to
term short-term memory into long-term
memory so you can re-meet them every
three minutes and they will not remember
meeting you so a doctor will walk in
they will put a pin in his hand he
shakes your hand it pokes you it hurts
you come back three minutes later you
don't remember meeting the doctor he
extends his hand to shake your hand and
the person with the selective or the
memory damage won't shake his hand
so you ask why won't you shake my hand
oh I don't like to shake the hand of
people in white lab coats oh I don't
shake the hands of doctors oh my
shoulder's hurting today I just don't
feel like shaking hands they're all lies
but the person doesn't realize that
they're lying now once you understand
it's easy you want to be with that
person and just be like oh well they
have brain damage of course they do that
no no we all do that
but the risk of derailing if you there's
a thing in your brain called the corpus
callosum it connects the left and right
hemispheres if you sever the corpus
callosum that person gets multiple
personalities that can argue with each
other you get a left brain let's say
that's completely religious and a right
lane that a right brain that is
completely atheist and the voices in
your head will argue about the existence
of God you can show one one eye and it's
the opposite but you show them in one
eye like a pair of scissors and if you
show the side of the brain that can
handle language the it won't know the
shape but it'll tell you oh it's a pair
of scissors but you'll be like I
actually I have no idea what you're
showing me I'll just take a guess
scissors yes you show it to the side of
the brain that can handle shapes but can
do language and you'll know exactly what
it is and you can draw it but you can't
tell them it's a pair of scissors it is
crazy the brain is insane so once you
understand you have all these weird
things happening in your brain and one
of them is that it's going to make up an
excuse a justification for whatever you
do you can now leverage that so as I
tell people yo I'm really hyped about
the saying and it's because of your zip
code and like I really think that I can
help people get an empowering mindset
through story at scale they're going to
escape their zip code it's going to be
amazing makes me feel the way that I
want to feel I'm going to be able to
contribute this is amazing
now all of a sudden six months into that
repetition cycle I actually started
feeling it and it wasn't fake anymore
and I actually felt that like high level
of energy every time I would go to
explain it to people
I did the same thing with web3 getting
really excited about what the future is
by telling myself internally explaining
it to other people and embodying the
emotion
and then just repeating it repeating it
repeating it repeating it by doing that
the emotion becomes real
but all of this is why I am begging you
as people that I love and care about
please understand you're having a
biological experience if you do not
master your biology your biology will do
all these weird tricks that were
designed to keep you alive and that's it
not designed to get you ahead not
designed to help you with fulfillment
not designed to make you feel good about
yourself
designed to keep you alive long enough
to have kids that have kids
that's it that's all you can trust your
brain to do
but if you understand how it works now
you can really leverage it
now I'm really going to take as far
afield
I've really been interested recently in
looking up
real microscopic footage of what's
happening at the like endorphin level
like as you really get down what does
happiness look like and I found a video
of What happiness looks like and it is
this really round bulbous protein with
these like tiny little tendrils that
walk along what kind of looks like the
inside of
a tank's tread so it's like these little
ridges and so this weird little
blimp-like thing with these two little
sort of really long legs walk along that
little tendril that's happiness
now when you can get down to there's no
more abstraction there's no more
metaphor for happiness there is an
endorphin walking across a I don't even
know what to call it a molecule an atom
whatever a cell some part of a cell is
not even the full cell some tiny tiny
tiny tiny piece of the cell
and that makes you feel happy
it's like oh man I'm just being
manipulated by my biology so now it's
like okay what can I do to take control
of that and that's my life my whole life
was looking around so I'm working in
this company this company is now we
would call it a very toxic environment
was exactly what I needed so I'm only
grateful but it was vicious to say the
least but phenomenal for what I needed
and I'm looking around watching it just
demolish people emotionally and I'm like
why am I able to progress when it's just
destroying other people and not because
I could self-soothe but that's a thing
at a neurochemical level
I don't know what I'm doing when I do it
but I'm able to make my brain squeeze
the right chemistry
laugh out loud you will feel different
smile frown
man spreading
it all works and as you begin to build
just tactic on tactic on tactic you
begin to really get a grip on your life
and you begin to be able to
get around or leverage maybe is a better
word the way that biology is
so do you think the habit of like having
manifestations or repeating something to
yourself in the morning or at night or
listening to all these videos with the I
am wealthy and this and that do you
think that really works have you used
that before the reason that anything
that sticks around where people are like
does it work it's because it works just
enough that it stays in the culture but
doesn't get you so far that it's
self-evident that it's oh yeah obviously
that's what works so
any wives tale things like that there's
some element of truth to it like my wife
used to be utterly convinced that if you
stood by AC it made you sick now I will
just tell you right now that flies in
the face of germ Theory I promise you AC
does not make you sick germs make you
sick but is there a reason that she's
been taught by her mom who was taught by
her mom that air conditioning makes you
sick
I have a hypothesis if you're standing
too close to like constantly blowing air
it could dry out the mucosal layers in
your nose and in your throat and where
do you get the like rhinovirus in your
nose and in your throat it has to take
hold in those specific kind of cells the
mucosal layer is exactly what stops it
from happening so is it possible that
that's what's going on and that's why
the wives tale is air conditioning makes
you sick Maybe
but we know now that germ theory is
actually what makes you sick so yes
repeating uh I'm rich all that it puts
you in a different mindset it puts you
in an optimistic mindset now you have to
be optimistic if you want to be
successful why because only behaviors of
matter only behaviors matter you could
have the worst mindset in the world
believe that you're the Biggest Loser of
total failure but if you do all the
right things you will still win but if
you have the best mindset in the world
and do all the wrong things you will
lose so you need to shift yourself into
an optimistic mindset because it's going
to make you take the actions that will
actually lead to success but if all you
do is repeat right [ __ ] which most
of it is you won't do anything but when
you encounter somebody like myself that
knows half of the secret is real that
you need to be in a positive mindset you
need to be optimistic you need to
believe that putting energy and effort
into something is actually going to work
and half of it is [ __ ] you can
manifest a parking spot you can't it's
just that people leave a [ __ ]
shopping mall at a certain interval and
if you sit still long enough somebody
eventually is going to come
so the people that think I'm just going
to pray for it I'm going to manifest I'm
going to think about it it's going to
happen it's not going to happen for them
but the person who's like oh I need to
shift myself into believing that I can
make this happen and then they go ham
making it happen they'll win
so it's half useful and half BS and like
anything you've got to find that
breaking point and if you find it it'll
work for you and if you don't you'll
fail
man this seems like there's just so many
things against you like what can it just
be like I have a goal and then I'm just
gonna follow your stack of things you
just listed out and but that's just like
just little things in the day that just
like pulls you away from it you know
what really makes me mad well and
there's no point in this making me mad
because this is dumb to be mad at this
if I just spoke in bumper stickers I
would be way wealthier but people
wouldn't actually move forward because
the bumper sticker becomes the second
half of the secret which is total
[ __ ] the reality is all the Nuance
like running a business is hard you want
to know the hardest part of running a
business
people
but is it people inside the company or
is it selling to a consumer base that's
constantly changing it's both is it
people
externally or is it people me that I'm
fooling myself I'm lying to myself I
have ego yes all of the above so how do
you navigate all that stuff
being a human is hard
being human is really hard but if you
fall in love with discovering how the
world actually works this is why so many
people say that curiosity is like the
soul of success because if you're
genuinely curious like think about it's
kind of weird for somebody to be like yo
I need video footage of what an
endorphin looks like moving through my
brain but like I really need a video
footage of an endorphin running through
the brain so that I could understand
like oh my God that is what's happening
for me once I can visualize it then I
can leverage it but if I don't really
understand it I exist in metaphor and
when you're existing metaphor it's
useful it's very helpful analogies
metaphors are super helpful to chunk
very complex things down into something
that you can take out of your
subconscious into the conscious mind
but like you're gonna have to get beyond
that to the point where you can build
tactics and
take Andrew Tate for a second
just enough like useful real information
that he really caught fire
but he exists at like a level of
it's repeatable it's jarring it's
inflammatory but it's not tactics and so
when I think about if you really want to
give somebody relationship advice you've
got to get down into the tactics of how
do you actually navigate something like
I want to see him out of character where
because I actually saw him break
character one time it was really
interesting and he switched into like a
normal person and was like well okay
actually I don't know that I would do
that he was talking about like his kids
and like kicking him in the face or
something if they weren't tough enough
or something like that and he was being
interviewed and the woman was like would
you really do that and he was like well
okay I'm not sure that I would actually
do that but like what I'm trying to get
and I was like that guy I want to talk
to that guy where okay now we're getting
into the Nuance now we're getting into
the complexity because if you go kick
your son in the face he's going to hate
you and you might toughen him up but
you're gonna make him hate you and so
how do you toughen them up without
making him fall out of love with who
should would be his at you know a
certain age like the person that he
idolizes and looks up to it's hard man
the only impossible job is raising
children
but anyway to not get lost on that all
of life is Nuance all of life is
complexity and if you have the genuine
curiosity and you're willing to get in
there and run the scientific method
everything is going to constantly come
back to that
run the scientific method of I think the
world works this way let me try it okay
that worked but it failed at a certain
point why did it fail there and always
it I'm not worried about how it failed
there from something I can't control
what part of what I can control what
part of this was a failure of me that I
can get better that I can shift into
skill acquisition mode now I can get
better and I can go execute but the
problem is people lie to themselves or
they don't have the stamina to acquire
skills or they have the guts and the
fortitude to take the first step onto
the the oceanic Plains of
self-improvement but then they diminish
themselves because they're so angry that
they're not the ultimate form of
evolution like every day
every day of my life I am so angry that
I'm not performing at Elon musk's level
I'm furious
but I can either let that tear me apart
or I can let it inspire me but if most
not most people there is a very loud
contingency of people that look at him
and want to find every reason to
Discount what he's accomplished that's
Madness I'm just looking at okay how do
I get a little bit closer today even
though I am filled with rage
I I hate
that he seems like he is just farther
ahead of me on a genetic level than I am
like I'm doing everything I can will
with the hours that I have every day and
I just feel like he's receding into the
The Horizon so why are you why are you
not there yet is it just you think it's
just biology that he can just process
more information than you that wouldn't
be helpful so even though that's my my
base assumption if I'm completely honest
is that all of us are dealt a hand of
cards and we're 50 hardwired and 50
malleable and I think that the 50 that's
hardwired while he warns people don't
want to be me
that the way his brain is just
constantly firing ideas
he says and I have no reason to believe
that it isn't true it's not fun and that
he's just trying to make the best of a
bad situation
fair enough but from my vantage point
That's so exciting I want my mind to
kick off more ideas but I really do
think it's I have met the edges of my
ability to process raw data and I find
myself wanting I am a deep thinker I'm
not a fast thinker and that really
bothers me so it takes me a long time to
sharpen my thinking on a topic
now I should just be grateful that I can
sharpen my thinking on a topic but I do
spend a very distressing amount of time
being annoyed so I do think that yes
that's going to be part of the punch
line but my advice to myself and
everybody else is to remember that while
you're 50 hardwired you're 50 malleable
and to build your habits your routines
the rules in your life all around that
you can 100x your ability in any area
based on the 50 that's malleable but it
takes so much energy and effort and
sustained effort to do it that most
people will quit
so to try to
um like not summarize but also catch up
to where we're at so the stack goes and
body desire and then if you don't know
what to desire you Journal about it but
why embody desire what's the point of
that
because you just won't feel it and yeah
you're having a biological experience
yes and so you have to
make yourself do it and then your brain
will catch up with that and then you'll
feel it you'll feel it that's the key
because here is the the hard reality of
life like you said earlier it's hard why
are so many things stacked against you
if you're trying to have outside success
in your life there are so many things
stacked against you it's inhuman the
easiest way to sum it up is the second
law of Thermodynamics is that everything
moves towards chaos okay if all things
at all times are moving towards chaos
and that's just like planets and all
that and then you introduce the human
mind which is the most complex thing in
the universe and now you put 7.4 billion
of those basically fighting you at every
conceivable turn this all gets really
hard and so you will want to give up a
million times and if in that moment you
don't feel enthusiasm that is
overwhelming you will quit
well I have literally been not in the
fetal position that would be an
exaggeration I have literally been on
like the instead of sitting up do you
know how depressed you have to be to
kneel on the floor instead of sitting on
the couch like where you're just oh God
everything in your life sucks I have
knelt on the floor before the couch and
wanted to cry just wished that I was a
crier because I could not get the
feeling out of my body
and the only thing in those moments that
keeps me going is
being so obsessed with my goal that when
I focus on that glowing hot Ember at the
center of my life
it's enough
but if it isn't enough you will quit
this is why almost everybody quits
at everything yeah they all give up a
New Year's resolution they all quit
the big goal in their life they all quit
I'm getting emotional right now people
quit dude it's so heartbreaking
my mission in life is to get people to
understand that they're having a
biological experience so they'll do the
things they need to do to not quit
to just
have the juice to keep going but dude
there's a lot of things stacked against
you
so the most important thing if you don't
have that desire yet the most important
thing you can do in your life to build
success the most important habit is to
embody that desired Loop for the next
six months a year
to to have a habit
system
that makes the feeling you need to feel
to keep going visceral
you feel it in your gut
like nobody could tell you to stop
because you really are excited like the
things that I'm excited about I'm
legitimately excited and people can't
stop me from being excited like if you
ask me like right now we're recording
this in the middle of the most bear
Market of bear markets even people in
web 3 now are like turning on each other
it's super weird but you couldn't make
me not be excited about it because I've
spent so much time thinking about what
the technology is going to let us do and
how I'm going to leverage that to have
the impact that I want to have in the
world and quite frankly just
telling stories is so exciting to me and
so when I talk about it I feel the thing
I want to feel so now if I just start
telling somebody what my vision is I get
re-excited I don't do it on purpose
anymore the first six months a year or
whatever was so intentional
like having to remind myself this is
what I'm doing is why it's Society ah
repeat repeat repeat repeat
but now if somebody asked me about it
and I just start talking about it I
can't help but get amped and
enthusiastic and so something that you
and I say a lot that we stole from David
Goggins or David Goggins graced us with
to carry the boats I'll [ __ ] carry
all of web 3 if I have to I will drag
them into the future I don't need them
to support me anymore I don't need the
energy to come back from them
you have to whatever the thing is that
somebody wants it has to be that
visceral where and
may I take us into deeper waters you
have to be able to create an image in
your mind
that makes you feel so aggressive
I like I I rightly get accused of
speaking in war language and the first
time somebody said that to me I felt
guilty
I was like oh that's kind of gross maybe
I shouldn't do that
and for a long time I was like yeah I
need to find a better way to say that
I'm Unapologetic now I imagine myself as
a warrior covered in the blood of those
who are trying to stop me from having
the impact that I want to have on the
world now I don't mean that literally I
am not going to kill violence is a
mistake but having that level of
intensity to bring people together to
help people and I do admit I do that
imagery is very evocative and so I very
much think of myself with a [ __ ]
sword in my hands dripping with the
blood of the weak people who are trying
to stop me will
that gets me going right now I look you
can actually see the hair standing up on
my arm
that gets me I'm sweating that gets me
going and so I feed that image into my
mind so that in those moments I'm like
no no like I can lean into that dark
energy I can keep myself going but I do
it so much it is so visceral it is so
real that I feel it when when I need it
it's there and I can think of myself
with that sword having to just go
through all the obstacles covered in
blood hearing the Lamentations of those
who would try to oppose me
can only imagine what people are
thinking right now but that works it
works and if people can internalize that
level of intensity for the beautiful
thing they want to do I want to
reinforce that it is a uplifting thing I
want to bring people together
but
it's hard and so you have to be able to
generate that level of intensity
to get to the other side to keep going
to
to overcome the second law of
Thermodynamics which is that all things
move towards chaos entropy
what's the answer you have to pour
energy into the system and you have to
pour that energy into the system in a
very specific guided way
if when people are trying to like tear
you down or just like forget that
because I'm not a victim when things are
just hard when I'm an idiot and I keep
making mistakes when I'm embarrassed
how do I have the energy to keep going I
have to see myself as that Warrior I
have to be willing to be covered in my
own blood I have to be willing to keep
pushing and going and being able to
channel that Goggins and to find that
gear and to shift into it when I'm on my
knees in front of the couch because I
don't have the emotional fortitude to
sit on the couch
I've been there at that moment I have to
be able to channel that energy
so you're the king of momentum
how do you think about utilizing time to
get all those goals and the desire and
the things that you want to do and
Shrink that and make it happen faster
okay so number one Peter Thiel gave us
all a gift and he said ask yourself how
you can make your 10-year plan happen in
six months
here's the caveat the odds of you being
able to do that are effectively zero but
it forces you to think in a whole new
way because if you're thinking about
your 10-year plan in 10 years you think
okay incremental progress if you think
about your 10-year plan in six months
you suddenly go whoa the way that I was
going to approach this is not going to
work it was that idea that gave Lisa and
I the idea of playing the game no
[ __ ] what would it take because now
you one you have to be in solution mode
momentum is all about there is no
impossibility there are things I'm not
willing to do fair enough but there's no
impossibility and if it is to be it is
up to me and the warrior mindset like
when I think about when when impact
Theory hits those hard points and we're
like okay we've got to get to that next
thing like we're going in we're in a
recession
it is going to be a bloodbath impact
theory is going to quintuple in size in
the next two years I will see to it
to do that I have to think of a
radically new approach because doing the
things that we've been doing only better
will get us to 50 growth in the next two
years but it won't get us to 5x growth
in the next two years so we have to come
in with that mentality of like okay
nothing is impossible and even like did
you see what I did with my face I do
that subconsciously I Furrow my brow I
bring my chin down I'm like okay we're
gonna do this I literally just tightened
my toes I start thinking about okay this
is a different mode I've got to be I can
feel my brain speeding up I start
looking down because I'm trying to get
into that space where I'm in problem
solving mode I don't want to be
distracted by anything I'm trying to get
into tunnel vision what is going to work
no no that idea is not going to get us
there it's not bold enough literally I
this is what I'm talking about I can
squeeze the emotion I just put myself
into that mode right now where I could
get us all together okay guys we're
going to solve this problem here is the
truth we are the problem now that we
know that what's the solution how are we
going to get to this what are the
realities that we have to face in
business it's funny I'm actually
shifting into this mode right now so let
me tell you how I think through this
problem
I'm going to slow my speech down because
I know I'm being recorded but actually
to stay in the mode that I would want to
stay and I would want to keep thinking I
would want to keep speaking faster to
match the speed of my thoughts I'm going
to lay out the problem what is the
problem I know that the biggest thing is
going to be me
but no [ __ ] so what is it what's
going wrong in our business we're going
in so we take a lot of our revenue is AD
Revenue okay so there's going to be that
apocalypse that's coming we can already
feel it we're coming into Q4 right now
ad Revenue should be going up right now
ad Revenue just historically it should
be going up you're coming into the
holidays advertisers usually are
spending a lot more money right now
advertisers are pulling back because
they know that we're going into a
recession so it's all withdrawal
withdrawal withdrawal now I can say oh
hey oh bummer like you know we just need
to survive no no I've set a goal we're
going to 5x so I've got to take that off
the table I'm not going to be able to
count on Q4 just having a natural lift
it's going to be going down what do I
have to do to bring us all together okay
so ad revenue is going down the next
thing is going to be that we are uh a
lot of our Revenue in the previous year
came from web3 that's just zeroed it it
you count on nothing from that okay so
we've got the ad Apocalypse happening
we've got no Revenue coming in there and
it's all my fault amazing so what do I
have to change my behavior okay without
this becoming just all about that that's
how you have to think what are the real
problems stare them nakedly in the face
get your brain moving at Tempo bring as
many good Minds as you can together
recognize you're gonna have to overcome
yourself entropy all of that and you've
got to take them one by one what is the
problem what's a potential solution
nothing is off the table in the
beginning we just want to be in solution
mode I don't want to hear all the
problems all the reasons why we can't
first we're going to come up with a
solution that would work when I have a
solution no matter how crazy that we're
all like yeah that doesn't violate the
laws of physics and if we could pull
those things off it would work then you
ask the next question are we willing to
do it if yes immediately important
things let's break it down into
increments of you know what are the
actual things you can execute on kpis
beyond the scope of a discussion by
habits but like we'd go into that mode
if we're not willing to do it okay cool
but at least now we're in problem
solving mode which part of this are we
not willing to do be very specific
that's the thing that we're not willing
to do cool what's the next best thing
that we would be willing to do okay well
we could do this cool does that actually
have the realistic chance of getting us
to 5x yes or no now that process of
making it sound easy it's not it's very
messy and as you get into that messy
middle you're going to need a lot of
really smart people to help you go
through that but you have to come into
it with a mentality of a warrior
recognizing you were the problem
recognizing that you're up against
entropy recognizing you're having a
biological experience recognizing that
this is all about getting your potential
turned into actual usable skill set I
mean it's all it's like 30 things on
repeat
you just have to know when to pull what
thread together
but what is the thing that makes me the
king of momentum that I come in like
that Warrior knowing that anything is
possible that you have to be in problem
solving mode and
that I am I know I can always count on
one thing you can't break me
I've proven that to myself over and over
and over and over and over again and you
have to earn that in your own life like
I can say there I have no idea how many
people are going to watch this but they
can clip this [ __ ] out I live my life
I've lived my life now for almost seven
years in front of the camera making
really bold [ __ ] statements
call me the task I live the life that I
say that I live so I don't give up I
don't quit I'm wrong a lot I embarrass
myself a lot I make all kind of mistakes
but I learn and I get better
and so I can create that momentum
because I
you're not gonna be able to break me I
come in with a level of intensity I know
the problems can be solved I know that
I'm one of the biggest problems and I
bring smart people into the room and I
force everybody to enter my reality
Distortion field
and then we just go go
I think the solution the solution part
is going to be very interesting it can I
just throw you some goals and then you
go to at least problem solving mode
um it's I know one of your goals Axel
let's say
direct a massively uh
box office successful movie in the next
10 years problem solving mode Let's go
so how do we do it in six months first
of all because by giving himself 10
years he's gonna play small he's going
to play
the sort of safe route
now we have to figure out okay let's
define terms if we're looking for box
office success you're now putting
yourself in the traditional Hollywood
System so you're gonna have to get a lot
of money right so you can there's two
things before you you can look at what's
popping off of the box office and really
performs big dollars or you can say I
what I really mean by Smash at the box
office is differential between cost and
what I make what is up my friend Tom
bilyu here and I have a big question to
ask you how would you rate your level of
personal discipline on a scale of one to
ten if your answer is anything less than
a ten I've got something cool for you
and let me tell you right now discipline
by its very nature means compelling
yourself to do difficult things that are
stressful boring which is what kills
most people or possibly scary or even
painful now here is the thing achieving
huge goals and stretching to reach your
potential requires you to do those
challenging stressful things and to
stick with them even when it gets boring
and it will get boring building your
levels of personal discipline is not
easy but let me tell you it pays off in
fact I will tell you you're never going
to achieve anything meaningful unless
you develop discipline all right I've
just released a class from Impact Theory
university called how to build Ironclad
discipline that teaches you the process
of building yourself up in this area so
that you can push yourself to do the
hard things that greatness is going to
require of you right click the link on
the screen register for this class right
now and let's get to work I will see you
inside this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
so I want to make let's say 10x my money
in the next six months okay well if you
make it for a dollar and you make ten
dollars you just made 10x if you do a
thousand you make ten thousand and so
you find what actually is your goal
because if you go if I make ten thousand
this is not interesting what I really
want is a worldwide phenomenon it's
maybe it isn't the box office that you
actually care about maybe it's eyeballs
on the film okay well then YouTube look
at Mr Beast gets a hundred million views
on things that really pop off would you
be stoked on that so it's like figuring
out what really the goal is because a
lot of times people have this vague
amorphous goal this goes back to what we
were talking about in the beginning
Clarity write down in the single
sentence no parentheticals no run-ons
what is your real goal get 100 million
people to watch a piece of creative
content that I love in the next six
months okay now we can that would be way
more realistic by the way because
getting a box office Smash in the next
six months it's not impossible does not
violate the laws of physics but oh my
God I started thinking okay do we kidnap
one of the like big guys and like they
have to like make sure that we let her
like even filming a film the next six
months already gonna be hard but it's
like that's the kind of stuff that you
really start looking at but you will
notice I would I go to okay could we
kidnap somebody like what would you
blackmail now at the end of that I'm
gonna say I'm not willing to do that
because it violates my ethics but what
it does is it puts me in problem solving
mode so many people go immediately to
well I wouldn't do that Jesus like
you're just in no mode you have to and
this by the way
not to throw David under the bus but if
I have a fragile idea and I'm like yo
I've got to pull this off in the next
six months I'm going to go to you
because you'll go into like yeah how
would we do that like you'll get swept
up in my madness and you'll join me in
that but I'm not going to try to execute
until I go to David and I say hey we've
got this crazy idea we've put it
together it will work but should we do
it and then he'll be like guys have you
thought about this this this this this
this you must seek this confirming
evidence but anyway the question is
goals so you've got to do that you've
got to run through like real solutions
how are we going to pull this off get as
crazy as you can it's going to put you
into like okay what are the big problems
that we're up against right you're going
to immediately see is when you give
yourself 10 years you can sweep under
the rug how expensive it's going to be
you can sweep under the rug how hard it
will be to create a piece of creative
that's that amazing once you bring that
timeline to six months you start going
this would have to be something that
people would fall in love with this
would probably have to be something that
could go on a platform that could go
viral from nothing that's not movie
theaters that's YouTube do I would I be
into YouTube does that actually scratch
that itch and so that forces you to get
clarity on what you really want and so
you start going through that then if you
get to no traditional Hollywood System I
want a movie I want it to be a longer
form movie that I can really do 3x
structure so you start getting really
specific so let's make this hard this is
my favorite
face the most difficult scenario so I
want to do instead of six months the
shortest period of time to get a major
theatrical lease release with a major
studio in a traditional storytelling
format
awesome right nice simple easy
description can say it very concisely
now I'm going to start breaking down
what what do I have to create I need a
screenplay right because we all know it
starts with the idea I'm going to need
to package that up what this packaging
and by the way most people probably
don't even know this stuff so now
they're going I don't even know and now
I'm paralyzed because I know what I want
to do but I don't know the first step
this was me in the late 90s which for
everybody that's listening to like the
late 90s Jesus that was a different
century
so in the late 90s you this this is
going to be unbelievable but there was a
time where a phone didn't record an
image a phone just allowed you to hear
somebody's voice so there was no going
out and recording a film I had no idea
how to break into the film industry none
I I was just paralyzed what's the first
step and somebody was like oh get an
agent how do you get an agent I didn't
know what the first step was to that we
didn't have the internet you do now so
you look up
how do you get an agent how do you break
into the film industry whatever and you
go through the process of learning
something totally new which has a
process that process looks like this I'm
going to give it in a nutshell because
it's outside of the scope of something
about habits but the nutshell goes like
this first you have to learn the Lexicon
what are the words I don't even know
what the right words are to use for this
I just went through this yesterday I
wanted a a really warm sweatshirt for
the winter so I typed winter sweatshirt
but all the images weren't right because
I was using the wrong words but I didn't
know it so I'm like okay I know this
drill what's the right lexicon so winter
sweatshirt with furry insides okay
things start popping up to say fleece oh
that's called fleece amazing so I start
searching for winter jacket with or
winter hoodie with fleece and I keep
getting zip ups I don't want a zip up so
then I realize oh the ones that match
the image that I want are called
pullovers
who would have known so I want a winter
fleece hoodie pullover word now the
right things start coming up but a lot
of them have sleeves that don't have the
fleece I'm like what so then I realize
that you want to start looking for
Sherpa
fleece sleep right and so you just you
start learning all the words but I
didn't know the words in the beginning
but you just start picking up on little
cues no matter what you're trying to
learn just go to YouTube start typing in
the dumbest search you can think of look
at the results most of them are going to
be frustrating because it's not what
you're actually looking for you're going
to see ones that actually contain cues
yeah yeah like that one okay well what
did that one have in the search term
that the other ones don't you learn that
word now once you have the Lexicon of
the world you can start doing really
qualified searches then you're going to
start finding the people that talk well
on the subject so now you narrow down
this infinite World down to the really
smart search down to the three or four
people that are really talking about
this well then once you have a general
scope of sort of the 360 of the topic
then you can start niching down into
getting into what you want so how do I
do a film in the next 12 months you're
going to take that on oh it's oh I need
a screenplay I don't know how to write
okay whenever you don't know how to do
something there's always two options
before you number one learn it number
two hire or partner with some somebody
that already knows how to do it so if
he's not a writer he can go find
somebody that knows how to write if he's
a writer but doesn't know how to direct
he can go find the director so you get
the scope of the world you figure out
what parts of it you're going to
contribute what part somebody else is
going to contribute and then you make
sure that you have a no [ __ ] plan
that faces nakedly your own inadequacies
the things you're going to have to learn
and the things that are going to be hard
as hell budget where is he going to get
dude do you know how much they spend on
an Avengers film it's like 350 million
dollars
just on marketing
so you've got the you know whatever 250
million in production another 100
million in like finishing off all the uh
shots and all the things you have to get
done plus another 350 million of
marketing you're in for over half a
billy just to get that thing in theaters
it's crazy town so but that's how you
make one billion two billion at the box
office
that's hard
you're gonna have to overcome that that
ain't gonna be easy but if you don't
face that you're you're making believe
so when I talk about we're trying to
build the next Disney I'm like dude
Disney is a formidable foe I was
actually at a party
this is embarrassing but true so I'll
tell it I went to the thanks to Jim
quick shout out to Jim quick got me into
uh the end game premiere
and everybody ever involved in that
thing was at the end game Premiere no
I'm trying to build a nest this the next
Disney this is my rival
and I'm there and now I'm in awe of what
they've done because I'm not a fool so I
don't look at the people doing what I
want to do well and discount them I look
at them and go what can I learn like
this is incredible you guys are amazing
I'm gonna beat you
but what you've done is amazing and I
honor you so I saw uh Bob Iger Bob Iger
thank you at the height of like he's at
Disney's running the show and I'm like
holy [ __ ] that's Bob Iger and he turns
and looks at me and I'm like oh lower
your voice a little there Fanboy and so
uh
I was like I need to learn from this guy
he is a formidable Foe and Kevin feige
is a formidable foe what he has done is
unbelievable they have a 90-year head
start
they have accomplished unreal things
billions of dollars in Revenue a year
an ungodly number of business units
founded in 1923
uh billions of dollars in IP
infrastructure out the Wazoo it's
incredible and what they're doing is
amazing so to look at that and come up
with a real plan that connects
start company get EIN tax number
higher first employee build plan for how
we get Revenue build YouTube channel but
that must take me all the way it's a
70-year plan that must take me all the
way to building my version of Disneyland
which of course will be in the metaverse
but like that's a lot of steps so how do
you have to stand before the oceanic
Plains of Death Before You
and have the willingness to go oh yeah
I'm not capable of doing this yet if I
step into the unknown actually I was
going to say if I 70 and no no I will
die that's not true
if I were to run stupidly into the
unknown I will die but I have to take
the first step and then learn enough to
take the second step and then learn
enough to take the third and learn
enough to take the fourth but you have
to face the realities of the difficult
task before you
and then break it into what skills must
I acquire or hire
and that's it but most people
lie to themselves
allow the fear to break them or and this
is what happens to most people they just
get tired because they don't want it
badly enough
it's crazy how much value is in this I
mean I'm just saying silent because I'm
like just taking notes of like I could
write a whole essay about like each
section that we just talked about but
kind of going back to what kind of
ticked me off was like life is kind of
like a solo player game in my head which
is it's all about self-awareness knowing
yourself but then another big portion of
that is how do you continue to build on
top of that and that's where you know
beliefs character traits uh skill sets
come in and you touch upon like how to
actually manipulate all those but
another big part I was curious about was
not only your internal environment what
you feel like you control but also how
do you manifest external environment
that kind of continues to reinforce that
internal environment and so you know
that for me is like even just listening
to a video like this or going into a
Discord server or like taking a course
or something like that now for you has
there been anything in your environment
that you've like kind of curated to just
continue to stack and stack everything
in my life is curated everything the
most important choice that I made
it's my wife there's no decision in my
life that has had deeper ramifications
than the person I've chose to share my
life with
so choose your friends and your
significant other wisely
you're looking for one thing and one
thing only and that thing is a growth
mindset that's it you're not looking for
people that already haven't figured out
you're looking for people to go oh word
I can learn that's it and if you find
people that can learn
you're in business and then
cultivate that over time and you have to
invest and you have to spend time and
you're it's going to take a long time
but you've got to trim the people out of
your life that aren't adding value if
people saw how I train The Tick Tock
algorithm to make me a more powerful
instrument they would be very impressed
I like to think
dude I'm if it shows me something that's
mindless I like almost break my thumb
scrolling past that [ __ ] I'm like do not
show me things that don't move me
forward and if it's something that's
like yo that was deep like that really
pushed me forward I like it I might
follow them if I think that they're a
rabbit hole that I want to go down and
I'm going to share it and so one sharing
it reinforces which if you guys are with
you know being that be in that slack
Channel I'm in there sending you Tick
Tock gems boys and girls of like what
stuff is really going to move us forward
there's so much incredible information
and so over time the algorithm is like
oh I know what you're into and do that
with every area of your life right like
what am I constantly bringing up to will
do you guys remember the first thing
that I said to him when I saw him today
will are you reading about Vietnam so
Wills from Vietnam and I'm like I want
to know which one of us is more into the
history of Vietnam I think it's me at
this point if I'm completely honest but
because now I've got somebody that I can
bounce that off by planting that seed
with him yo I'm learning about it did
you know this like what do you think
when you think about Ho Chi Minh and
like tell me something like what's
what's the vibe in Vietnam about that
right legitimate curiosity now the next
time he comes across something about
Vietnam history he's going to hit me
with it so now I've got somebody who's
empowering me you and I we go [ __ ]
way deep on web3 so I've trained you
like hit me with that what'd you come
across what'd you learn you send me
articles you're constantly challenging
my thinking you're pushing me like Tom
are you sure you're thinking about this
in the right way you've shaped my
thinking more than just about anybody on
web3 but it's like I
trimmed that algorithm I was pushing
that I rewarded you when you would bring
say hey yeah like tell me more about
that and if you were derailing on
something that didn't matter it's like
I'd either bring you back or I'd ignore
it I'd walk away whatever and so like
over time we're all people treat you the
way you encourage them to treat you and
so if you're constantly like oh my God
tell me more about that like I want to
get that now you're learning if you
reward them for growing if you
acknowledge how they've helped you grow
now you get into this virtuous cycle and
I'm constantly like if people watching
this new you guys are way younger than
me but I will sit at your feet when you
have something to teach me I will
acknowledge you publicly when you've
made me more powerful so I'm not just
like yo look up to me I'm like I want to
look up to you I want to know what you
know I'm constantly trying to learn and
the secret is by doing that
you get all this information people will
give you so much knowledge it's crazy
like literally right now I have been
going for over an hour as fast as I can
give the information away people love to
tell you what they know and so if you
just ask like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
like get think about how much you guys
have gotten me to to give away for free
like I'm yeah ah because it makes me
feel cool that I know it it reinforces
in me that oh yeah like actually that is
what I would do it's awesome
but you've gotta you gotta curate that
[ __ ] man there's a lot of beautiful
people in the world that just aren't the
right Vibe for your algorithm
it just is what it is and so I'm I'm
gonna test a new thing out
where you guys know me I'm terrible
about spending time with people I'm just
so heads down and everything I'm trying
to build
but I'm what I want to do is start
getting more people so that let's say
two or three evenings a week just like
it just is standard I know that I've got
at five o'clock I've got somebody that's
in my world that I want to get to know
better or learn from or whatever they're
going to be there I'm going to be able
to develop that relationship more learn
grow but if you treat that the way you
would treat an algorithm where if the
algorithm is just wasting your time
don't [ __ ] with it but if it's like like
this person either lifts me up they
teach me they like you're trying to
break into film other filmmaker
storytellers whatever that inspire you
to hold you accountable that push you
that could help you in the future all
that stuff like put them in your life
nurture those relationships but you
really do have to be selective
so with your time Tom you're probably
the business person that I know and I
see that you're always not spending
enough time with Elon Musk
to my dismay I like you better than you
are so you always have these timers
going off on your phone yeah give me
like tactics of how do you manage your
time in the like the nitty-gritty of
like I only do this at this time or I
only schedule this kind of things at
this time how do you organize that yeah
okay so the thing you brought up is the
one weakness in my system the alarms are
to compensate for a poor memory
I need a better system for that it's
actually been on my mind that I need to
develop a better system because they
inevitably go off the worst conceivable
time and so then I'm just pushing
pushing pushing is terrible the system
that I use that works is my important
things list so I have an important
things list and it's in order of the
things that I need to be doing and I use
a lead Domino strategy so a lead Domino
shout out to Tim Ferriss who gave me
that concept is that there's gonna be
something in your list of to-do's that
if you do that it makes some number of
subsequent things easier to do
uh an easy example for me is in business
so if there are two things on your list
and one of them is hiring do the hiring
first that's the lead Domino why because
now you can get more done in the company
because you've got another person If you
hired wisely that is a very meaningful
contributor to the things that need to
get done so now it's not something I
need to do I can Outsource that to that
person so if I were to just keep going
down my list de-prioritizing the hiring
I will forever have to do more things
than I would if I did hiring first and
then they can take off whatever
percentage of things and now we're
getting those things done in a
simultaneous track so critically
important to everything you do get very
good at identifying your priorities I've
spent a lot of time getting good at
prioritization how
foreign
my superpower is that I don't mind
looking stupid
I really think people underestimate that
I don't mind looking stupid now it
stings people make fun of me and if you
go online there's no shortage of people
in YouTube comments Instagram Twitter
pointing out all the ways that I'm
moronic and some of the times they're
right it really was moronic and I really
shouldn't have done that and I really
need to learn my lesson facts
but I do learn and I get better and over
time all the [ __ ] wasting time
putting negative [ __ ] into the world
they're doing that because they need to
for their own self-esteem whereas for me
I'm like yeah that really was Dumb and
that really is embarrassing and I really
am bummed that I don't learn faster and
that I'm not a super genius but I keep
stacking those skills and so by stacking
those skills I get better so I am
getting that lead Domino strategy I'm
willing to get that lead Domino strategy
by doing dumb priorities and going oh
that was dumb that didn't work what
would have worked better oh I should
have done that first amazing but because
I'm not afraid to look stupid I just try
something I just [ __ ] put a priority
I'm never afraid to make a decision or
put things in a priority order and most
people are most people are terrified
terrified to make a decision terrified
to make a decision why because if they
make the wrong one a it has real
consequences let's not pretend that it
doesn't okay I get it it's scary you
have a reason to be scared let's set
that one aside for a second the other
one is the likelihood of you looking
dumb pretty high because if you're not
educated you're gonna make a lot of dumb
decisions how do I know that because
even when you're educated you make a lot
of dumb decisions so my willingness to
just go uh I don't know so we'll put uh
C in position one oh that didn't work
out and I should have done B cool but
now I know
and so next time I'll be like oh I
remember this as Ray dalio says it's
just another one of those so now when I
encounter that I'm like C goes in pole
position do that or B whatever and you
do that and now you got a little bit
smarter but it's the superpower is the
willingness to look stupid and the
absolute I hold myself accountable to
the willingness to make decisions
most people don't
so the Domino important things I do
things on the important things list I
manager that list at all times and I'm
constantly looking at the data is it
working yes or no and then I try to
surround myself with people that are way
smarter than me and get them to give me
good ideas
I had a question about your goals and
like with the company you have very
clear goals how often do you reassess
those goals and make a change and
because sometimes do you feel like well
maybe this goal needs to change do I
change it right now or wait and keep
working on something if it's not working
and how often do you reassess your your
own goals every single day
so you have Micro goals what am I doing
with the next 15 minutes you have medium
term goals what am I doing this week and
then you have long-term goals what are
we doing for the quarter or for the year
the things at the quarter of the Year
level I don't change very often you give
people Whiplash and those should be very
well thought out anyway so those most of
the time you're going to see those
through not always but most of the time
the midterm goals what am I doing this
week that's all databased is it working
or not do we get the right results yes
or no if no change if yes keep going so
those are just databased then you've got
the micro goals those are changing a lot
so it's like oh I finished that I'm
moving on to something else actually I
just thought better that that wouldn't
have made any sense in doing this but
the micro goals are usually internal I'm
not communicating those to other people
so I'm the only one that has to worry
about any confusion that changing there
might make
when you do change goals for yourself
you want to make sure that you're
staying true to what your goals are you
should have Crystal Clear goals three to
five Max and when I change that does
making this change move me more
efficiently towards that goal yes or no
if yes I'm going to make the change if
no maybe I'm getting too excited because
that's what I'm prone to oh my God new
shiny amazing I want to do that new
shiny thing you have to know thyself
right so I know that's my weakness so
I'll force myself to sleep on it be like
and if I am equally excited the next day
then I'll tell somebody about it hey
what do you think if we did this I'm
really excited about it ooh you know
I'll decide whether this is a will or a
David moment am I going for somebody
that I need to be like yeah yeah like
that's an amazing idea should I get that
enthusiasm or is it baked enough now
that I need somebody that's going to try
to poke holes in it but you then once
you have a goal that you want to change
you're going to communicate that very
well to yourself to others whatever so
I'll document it I'll reflect it on my
important things and then because I'm
running a company I will then articulate
that to the team now I have found you're
only as good as what you write down and
even though I know that I routinely make
the mistake of just telling people
verbally so really get specific write
this stuff down that's hugely important
and then make sure that you have a level
of consistency don't flit about change
so many things so frequently that you
never make progress
talking about habits you always
mentioned that sleep is very important
could you talk a little bit about that
and cover how you think about sleep and
actual tactics and things that you do to
help with that you're having a
biological experience that's the first
thing so I I am enraged that I have to
sleep
there was this old thing called The Book
of questions I want to create a new one
but one of the questions in the book of
questions was would you give up half of
everything you own to never need to
sleep again
and at the time I said no it's like why
would I do that I love sleep now I'm
furious because I know what I want out
of life and I'm so passionate about it
that sleep just makes me angry
despite that the first thing I tell
people is get sleep you're having a
biological experience you will be
sub-optimal cognitively if you don't get
sleep so my sleep hygiene be on point uh
there's one mistake that I make and that
is stress
setting that aside
everything else that I do is very sleep
positive and it goes like this sleep
starts basically in the morning so you
need to go get sunlight into your eyes
to set your circadian rhythm so as soon
as the sun comes up I tend to wake up
before the Sun but when the sun comes up
I get outside doesn't work through the
window at least not as well probably
does have some effect but get out get
the sunlight into your eyeballs don't
stare into the Sun but look at the sky
look at the sky get the sun into your
eyes if it's warm get it on your skin
all of that stuff helps to set your
circadian rhythm
I intermittent fast so I eat in a very
tight window so my average is about 17
and a half hours that's including
weekends where my window is where my
fasting window is shorter my eating
window is longer but over the course of
a week it averages out to about 17.5
hours that was over 18 months where I
tracked it religiously I've been tracked
in a while but nothing has changed so I
will assume that's still the same
the reason that matters is I stop eating
I stop eating at about I stopped chewing
usually around 1 32 o'clock today is
different because the shooting schedule
got weird but that's normal for me but I
don't go to bed till nine so that's
seven hours from my last meal to when I
go to bed normally right as I'm going to
bed I start getting hungry and so I have
sleep for dinner as they say I brush my
teeth that completely knocks the desire
to eat out and because I've had my
normal amount of calories I'm not
actually like in a caloric deficit or
anything like that so I'm fine so I'll
sleep normally
I don't set an alarm and about three
hours before I go to bed I'll wear blue
blocking glasses if I'm looking at a
computer my phone and my computer Auto
turn to orange light I try to dim lights
not be around super bright lights uh and
then for the last hour I try to be out
of problem solving mode and into I still
work but into a part of work that I love
unless I'm feeling disconnected from My
Wife and then I'll spend more time with
her which actually right now I'm in a
cycle of spending time with her because
I did eight months of 120 hours a week
total mistake I've done many many talks
on what a catastrophe that was nobody
should be impressed everybody should be
mortified that I was at moronic just to
make sure everybody understands uh so
right now I've actually been spending
the last hour with my wife
amazing but in trying to get out of
problem solving mode slowing my brain
down
I listened to a book as I fall asleep
because of the one mistake in my life
which is stress and so listening to the
book has increased the amount of sleep
that I get on average I used to average
about six hours sometimes five times
sometimes seven but on average six now
I'm probably closer to seven
because of the book I don't know that I
recommend it if I'm completely honest
but it is so effective for me because
what used to happen I have a very easy
time falling asleep and a very hard time
staying asleep so I wake up every sleep
cycle which is about 90 minutes so every
90 minutes I would wake up and then I
would be awake it was miserable so even
though I was getting six hours of sleep
it was broken and I'd be up sometimes
like two hours in the middle of the
night oh God I'd be in the gym at like
1am
long story
but I have rules around my sleep so I go
to bed at 9 pm like it's a religion
always and forever just I go to bed at
nine of course there are times that I
don't but for the most part I don't set
an alarm so I know there's nothing
that's going to wake me up so I'm
relaxed on that front I put the book in
when I fall asleep I sleep with my mouth
taped so I don't breathe in through my
mouth because that dries up my throat
that causes me to wake up the book
allows me when I start waking up and I'm
like oh stress no right now I'm reading
about Vietnam really that's what
happened wow so and then I drift back
off to sleep man that works like a charm
it's incredible find the book that works
for you for a long time I was doing if
you want to try that I was doing stories
now I've shifted into non-fiction don't
know why it started working really well
amazing and then when I wake up I work
out so that I know that I'm gonna be
tired again at the end of the night
I go ham on my life so that I've really
live life throughout the day I've got
that huge window of not eating so my
digestion is totally relaxed so I don't
have that waking me up
um
my circadian rhythm's on point yeah
those are all the things that I do
what are some Hobbies you have around
your relationship that have helped you
stay in such a beautiful marriage for so
long
okay so the fun one is sex
you're going to want to have sex there's
just no two ways about it there's so
much neurochemistry that goes into it
and long-term relationships because I've
been married for 20 years long-term
relationships tend towards roommates
I have a real thing about I I don't
think people think about sex in the
right way dude sex is a trip like really
think about there was a time where Lisa
was just a girl that I saw and you have
to go from hi my name is Tom to what sex
is like really let that sink in for a
minute that's a trip now over time in a
marriage you forget like what a like
you're Crossing these crazy boundaries
and you get this like crazy
neurochemical rush and if you let it
become routine you're missing out on
like this really magical thing that
you're doing that's like a totally
different world from everything else you
do like without getting into it think of
do you talk the same during sex no way
use a different voice you talk at a
different volume you say things you
would never say when you're not like
everything about sex is a total trip and
so you wanna remember that you want to
keep that alive you want to keep that at
the surface you don't want that to slip
into the background like you you want to
remember like what this whole thing is
like there's an energy to this you want
to capture that so that you don't become
uh roommates there's this whole concept
of bed death where people let the
bedroom part of the relationship die all
right that's my perspective because I'm
in a 20-year marriage like we really
think a lot about that
no matter what stage of the relationship
you're in communication is everything
now what makes communication work is
twofold one Define your terms you think
you're saying the same thing but you're
really not
you're really not you're saying the same
words you're not saying the same thing
so you need to take the time to Define
like what does the word important mean
to Lisa versus me what does I promise
mean to Lisa versus me those things
really matter and so taking the time to
Define things like that will you will
reap huge benefits
the other part is communication is all
about getting to know your own
insecurities because when you get angry
you're insecure about something
I've often said that's 100 true there's
things at the margin but you should just
assume it's so close to 100 true that if
you're getting worked up odds are that
this is an insecurity that the person
has touched on and you need to know what
that insecurity is why you're insecure
about it and while your partner I think
owes you that they work with you on that
that they don't intentionally inflame
your insecurities but they need to be
working with you they can't make that
insecurity go away and you owe them that
that insecurity diminishes over time if
five years from now your insecurity is
at the same level that it was five years
ago that's bad on you that's going to be
really annoying for your partner my wife
made that abundantly clear I have an
insecurity around my intellect and she
was like at one point you know that's
not sexy right you keep bitching about
it it's not a turn on please stop now
she hates when I tell her that because
she was really harsh when she said it
the reason she hates me saying that is
because she was so kind and so generous
for so long and realized well that
experiment didn't work that finally she
was like [ __ ] stop like you've got to
find a way to address that and I did and
it was life-changing so yay that she
finally played that card and that I got
past that in my 20s so
you need to be working on your [ __ ]
basically
so having that level of communication
and then the last thing that I'll say
about that is never weaponize your
significant other's insecurities about
them when you communicate if you're
identifying all of these insecurities
that you have and you're saying them out
loud hey I'm really pissed off right now
and you both know in the argument hey we
both know that being angry is a sign of
insecurity what have I said this
triggered you or maybe you both know but
the person needs to get to the point
where they say
sorry I'm getting worked up about this
it's triggered this insecurity this is
what would help me in this moment if
people heard Lisa and I talk they would
laugh they'd be like there's no way that
people actually talk like that no that's
how we've been able to have a thriving
marriage but we sound like therapists
being like
what I'm feeling right now is this and
I'm feeling it because you said that and
it made me feel really insecure about
this thing and I'm trying to work
through that and I promise that I'll do
better but like here's what would be
really helpful for me but it starts with
being angry and raising voices and
getting annoyed and like all of the dumb
[ __ ] and then one of you hopefully very
very quickly is like hey I didn't mean
to upset you or hey I let myself get
upset let's unwind this let's backtrack
let's figure out where we are and so we
don't get in those big screaming matches
anymore but you have to talk in an
almost ridiculous fashion where instead
of being at the what we call talking
about the T where it's like yo I can't
believe that you just did that thing
instead you go when you did that thing
it made me feel like this now I own the
way that it made me feel
but it did make me feel that way and so
this is where I'm at this is what I
would like is that reasonable yes or no
sometimes it's not and it's like hey as
Lisa said to me you need to you need to
deal with that insecurity you got to
stop bringing that [ __ ] it's really
annoying she didn't say that but she
said it wasn't sexy that's a literal
quote
so you've gotta deal with that
yourself right and begin to process
through that getting those times shorter
but if you do that and you have those
communication hygiene and all that stuff
then you'll be able to have a very long
thriving relationship where you're doing
the things you need to do and the other
person isn't weaponizing that insecurity
against you making you feel badly about
it so you feel safe with them so you're
able to be in this virtuous cycle of
communicating like that knowing that the
person's not going to bludgeon you to
death with it
which is very tempting
one thing I'm thinking through is
as I'm listening I also know that you
know you've achieved a lot through again
what you just talked about the habits
the the beliefs that you have the
character traits all that so when you
look at someone else going through their
journey of building these habits and
trying to become successful what are the
things that automatically stand out to
you and you just can then slice them and
be like I know that person is going to
do well what are those things that kind
of stick out
do they have a growth mindset
so do they want challenge do they
get defensive if you get defensive
that's bad on you ever if you're ever
defensive bad on you is being offended
the same as being defensive almost
certainly that's why that's one of the
questions that I ask people when was the
last time you were offended if you're
easily offended oh my God that's a you
problem it's a you meaning there are
things in this world that are offensive
but if your initial thing is to take
offense which I think is the right way
to think you have to take that you don't
give offense you take offense
if you're taking offense you're allowing
yourself to get emotionally worked up
about something which again if you're
emotionally worked up about it the odds
are that you've got an insecurity and
somebody's touching on that insecurity
instead it's like does getting offended
by that thing move you towards your
goals if it does then word get offended
if it doesn't even though you may have
every right to be offended
it doesn't make sense to be offended
like let me tell you that when I first
started seeing people in the comments
I get offended by proxy when I see
people attack other successful people
forget even attacking me when I see them
attack other successful people and
they're like oh the one percent like
they're like buying up all the houses
and making it impossible for them like
oh sure it worked for you but like the
society's corrupt I'm just like oh my
God
and I would get offended
because they're ruining their own life
I'm not worried about me but then I was
like wait why would you even get
offended if they're ruining their life
like why are you annoyed with that
reaction shouldn't your reaction be why
do they feel like that what's going on
what's happening right now there's
something they're not bad people
so something happening right now that is
creating an environment that does make
them feel that way
what is it now I'm in a different mode
now I'm in problem solving mode now I'm
like I feel expansive now I like want to
give them a hug I want to wrap my arms
around them and be like yo let's solved
this problem
but when I'm offended and it is worthy
of offense and be really honest with you
that is such a dumb way to approach the
world it's ineffective
but by being offended by that
I'm not helping them and my goal is to
help people so being offended does not
give me what I need to go and move
towards my goals so why would I do it I
shouldn't and so I think that when you
get defensive when
you get riled up when you get offended
it isn't taking you to where you want to
go but the problem is then why does it
exist why does rage exist why does anger
exist why does righteous indignation
exist it's really useful my wife
has a low tolerance for righteous
indignation it's very easy to trigger
her sense of ought the world ought to be
this way and it is not what the hell is
going on and she goes in Sword covered
in blood slice slice lay and I look at
her and I'm like what are you doing like
you're getting so worked up at a time
where it makes no sense
so I started asking my wife is really
smart why does she have such a low bar
where she comes in just like slaying
dragons and I'm like that's what you
need to slay dragons you need that like
I'm right this is wrong the world
shouldn't be this way I'm gonna make I'm
gonna mold it in my image the will to
power ah it's really powerful and I was
like damn like if you can get yourself
into that mode you can re you'll have
the energy to push through now it's
completely dangerous and it's the kind
of thing that leads to genocide but if
you can recognize when it becomes
pathological and stop and recognize
where it stops you from letting people
step on your toes take advantage of you
uh damage your family you know come in
it's like if everything were okay oh you
want to write my wife word like what
would there's nothing either good or bad
but thinking makes it so
I would say I actually agree with that
statement but I really discriminate
against certain behaviors so you have to
understand it has power but it also has
pathology and so recognizing where that
is being very thoughtful about that is
incredibly important
now to tie that all back together
someone's gonna have to remind me I was
asking ultimately when you see someone
what are the things that stand yeah okay
so if they get easily offended that's
somebody that's not in problem solving
mode they're getting into their own
they're getting in their own way so you
have to be very careful about that not
eating the marshmallow is another one
being able to delay gratification so I
look for those now Alex hermosi gave me
like the perfect Triad which he heard
somewhere else but since I heard from
him I like to credit him and that is the
people that are truly truly successful
have just unreasonable amount of belief
in themselves
a terrifying fear that they're not good
enough to pull it off
and the ability to delay gratification
that is so true and for a long time I
was embarrassed by how fearful I am that
I'm not good enough to pull off my goals
and then I was like yeah that's why I
keep pushing that's why despite all my
success I keep going what if I'm not
good enough what if I'm on my deathbed
and I'm like yo you could have been so
much more that keeps me going and I know
that acting like that has a point at
which it becomes pathology which is why
when I was working 120 hours a week I
was like ding this is pathology and so I
went to my wife and I said hey I'm too
stressed out this is bad for our
marriage and I promise you I will find
my way back to you and I did and it's
like if you don't recognize that there's
pathology you drive yourself into an
early grave if on the other hand you
don't have any drive it's just not a
life I'm interested in be careful you
take advice from because I'm never going
to be a monk and maybe you want to be a
monk then I'm going to look like a crazy
man
know thyself know what you want but
those three things if you want to
achieve at the highest possible level
those are the three traits when you see
that in somebody it's like oh yeah
they're gonna go far but I'm kind of sad
for them in some way because I'm like
you have this crushing insecurity that
you won't be good enough
it's rad like if if you can back off the
pathology of it recognize you're having
a biological experience know that your
mind is just [ __ ] with you and like
get control of it it's rad it's rad
and I
thoroughly enjoy
my ambition now that I have a better
relationship with it I think that makes
a lot of sense because it all boils down
to me like self-awareness like knowing
yourself to know at which point do you
pass that point but it's one of those
things where I'm like how do you
actually cultivate that self-awareness
because I feel like you know you might
see it in them but if they don't see it
in themselves like they won't make any
changes because they don't see it so is
there something people can do to to
Foster that self-awareness
I'm going to answer a question you
didn't ask okay that's not why people
fail
people fail because they don't have
intensity
we're not teaching people to be hardcore
anymore
and there's a really narrow band of
humanity that's innately hardcore have
you watched the show Yellowstone
watch it
I think I just made a political
statement and I didn't mean to
but Yellowstone there's one line spoiler
alert anybody that is that wants to go
watch I'm going to ruin it for you guys
but you're gonna love this line so much
it will make you go watch the show I'm
only in season one but the line was so
good that I turned to Lisa because I I'm
offended that Lisa does not like the
show enough
I am so into this thing and there's a
character in the show who is he's not
innately intense he's a weak man
and they're basically forcing this guy
to get hardcore this show is so
dysfunctional I want everyone to know
I'm aware of that but going back to that
imagery of me with a sword all that like
crazy it's useful even though I don't
want to actually live it
this guy's weak they brand him they burn
into his flesh
the symbol of this tribe effectively the
Yellowstone Ranch
and this kid like eight or nine episodes
in he just hates his life it's so hard
and it's so painful and he's when you're
first learning how to ride a horse that
your inner thighs it's unbelievably
painful and so he can barely walk
and he's putting his head down on the
horse and he was like I hate my job I
hate my job and he's like crying and he
gets bucked off a horse and this other
older guy comes up to him
and he's like becoming a man is tough
business isn't it
but it beats the alternative
and I was like oh my God yes now replace
becoming a man with becoming hardcore is
tough business isn't it
but it sure beats the alternative
because man or woman if you don't have
the intensity
the fortitude the guts to stand up when
the world tries to push you around
you will blow in the Wind but all of us
have the opportunity to become so
mentally tough that we can't be broken I
can't promise you that I won't lose but
I can promise you I won't be broken
that's available to all of us and to get
there you have to cultivate that
intensity and that's why most people
lose they just they don't make enough
demands of themselves
and they get annoyed with the world for
being too hard they get annoyed with
people for having rough edges they get
annoyed with people for being difficult
they get annoyed that right right now
people have legitimate reason to be
pissed like kids coming up now this is a
rough time to come up you've got a right
to be pissed if you are I remember
getting asked by an African-American guy
if he thought I thought things were
harder for him because he was
African-American I was like you're a
minority of course being white in Japan
would suck it's going to be hard for you
but now what
you have an excuse It's a legitimate
reason the deck is stacked against you
you grew up in a communist country you
had to flee you if people knew your
story dude
it's amazing you had a reason to say
it's never going to happen for me but
you didn't you fled the country you
found a way to get to Freedom
that's what everybody needs to do even
if the deck is stacked against you I get
it the most terrifying things about
excuses is that they're legitimate
they're valid
but if you take them you won't get out
of life what you want and if instead you
go well this sucks I have to cultivate
more intensity than the next person but
you do it anyway
[ __ ] yes you can get what you want out
of life like that's it you can you can
you can get so good that you can't be
stopped but you have to get intense
you think like knowing us through each
other just to make it more direct like
do you think so I want to ask a question
like right now I feel extremely arrogant
like I wish I can get to the point where
like I'm feeling like a loser so because
I know the tools to get out of it now
but do you think
um like how am I going to feel and how
knowing specifically all theory about
like how are we going to fail is it the
intensity or is it a different
well I wish I could give you the gift of
Doubt because there is no finer gift
than somebody telling you and really
believing that you're not going to make
it it breaks most people but for the
people that really want it like they use
that in the darkest hour I will not let
that person be right I can't give you
doubt you
I think you will be successful you will
build the skill set that you need you've
already shown a willingness to walk into
the oceanic Plains of despair
you will keep pushing forward you will
get where you need to go it's just a
question of you if you can survive the
boredom
but outside of that I have no doubt and
speaking of which boys and girls we are
out of time habits are everything your
life is controlled by what you do only
behaviors matter get it right and
everything else will fall into line
until next time my friends be legendary
the best habit you could do right now is
subscribe until next time take care
peace
if this episode made you realize that
some of your habits are probably holding
you back you are definitely going to
want to watch this next episode where I
go into much more detail about habits
from my personal experience in this
episode I'm going to tell you some of
the major life lessons I've learned from
reading books and I'm going to help you
determine which books might be best for
you as well